Christian Parents and Santa

Sovereign Grace Family Church

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December 14, 2020

00:03: Hello, welcome back to Coffee with a Calvinist.
00:07: This is a daily conversation about scripture, culture and media from a Reformed perspective.
00:15: Get your Bible and coffee ready and prepare to engage today's topic.
00:20: Here's your host, Pastor Keith Foskey.
00:24: Welcome back to Coffee with a Calvinist.
00:26: My name is Keith Foskey and I am a Calvinist.
00:29: Today is December 15th, 2020.
00:34: We are in the Advent season and we have been talking for the last couple weeks about the subject of Advent and the subject of the Christmas holiday, which is coming up really quickly.
00:46: If you want to go back to a few episodes ago, if you haven't heard them already, I spent some time last week talking about great gift ideas that you can get for the believers in your life and also unbelievers.
00:59: I've spoken about subjects like the Christmas tree.
01:01: Yesterday I talked about a very famous song, Mary, Did You Know? And then a couple weeks ago, me and the fellows of the Calvinated Calvinist Roundtable did a series on the greatest Christmas movie of all time.
01:17: So we've been doing several things that are Christmas related and today we're going to tackle a very big question.
01:24: This was actually one that I've had several requests for me to respond to this question and I've noticed a few things on Facebook about it as well as the requests that I've heard and that is the question of Christian parents and the subject of Santa Claus.
01:44: Now, right off the bat, we know what the issue is.
01:51: I don't really have to explain it, but I'm going to at least break down kind of what the main concern is.
01:58: A lot of Christian parents are concerned that if you engage in the Santa mythos and you begin to engage in telling your children that there's this sort of all-seeing character, this all-knowing man who visits their house once a year and gives them presents based on how nice they are, or he withholds presents based on how naughty they are, that this character is going to somehow be the one that they're trying to please and that they're trying to appease with their goodness and things like that.
02:41: And so, some Christian parents, many Christian parents, find the whole subject to be problematic.
02:50: And then, you come to the next issue, and that is the issue of different parents having different beliefs and different convictions on this issue.
03:04: I've been around people where the children whose parents are not—and when I say this, understand what I mean when I say, playing the Santa game, because that's the way our family sort of looks at it, like it's a game.
03:21: Well, the people who are not playing the Santa game, and they acknowledge with their children the mythology, and this is obviously not based in reality, and there are those whose children sort of take great delight in knowing something that their peers don't know, and sometimes take great delight in telling their peers, not because they necessarily love their peers, but it's because they want to have an expression of some type of knowledge that maybe they think their other children don't have.
04:05: And so, this can sometimes lead to difficulties between families, well, why did your kid tell my kid about Santa Claus and those things? And so, I've seen it for years, I've seen this issue going back and forth, and so, again, I was asked my opinion about this, and as a pastor, I realized that I have to be very careful when addressing subjects like this, because ultimately, a lot of this comes down to a conscience issue, and unless we're dealing with sin, then we have to address the issue of the conscience, and the benefits versus maybe the deficits of why you would, again, play the Santa game, and let me address that, because that's something I want to make a point about.
05:02: In our house, we sort of treat the Santa Claus figure as like a game, understanding that children of a certain age, young children, they're dreamers, they have fantasies, and they don't really ground everything in reality, not even all adults ground everything in reality, but especially children.
05:29: Like, for instance, when my children watch a superhero movie, oftentimes, they watch the superhero movie not because necessarily they enjoy the characters, or they enjoy the plot, but because this character that they're watching sort of fulfills a wish within them, and the wish within them is maybe to be able to fly, or maybe to be able to climb up walls, or maybe to be able to swing from ropes, or catch bad guys, and that's the whole idea behind the superhero, is the superhero is a fantasy wish fulfillment.
06:09: And so, it's like Jerry Seinfeld said years ago, when you're a kid, Batman, Superman, and Spider-Man are not fantasies, they are options.
06:21: Which one am I going to be? Because one day I'm going to be bitten by a spider, or one day I'm going to have some type of magical thing happen to me, and I'm going to have these superpowers.
06:34: And so, kids do function, oftentimes, as kids, small children, in the realm of fantasy, and that's not always a bad thing.
06:44: Allowing children to have fantasies, allowing them to express themselves in a way that is creative, and in a way that is based in fun, and enjoyment of their fantasies, and these things, this is not always a bad thing.
07:09: But I do think that there is something to be said about telling your child an outright lie, and this is where we get into the issue of sin.
07:22: If we tell our child that there is a man who has the capacity to see everything, and to know their hearts, and to know that if they're naughty or nice, that the only figure, the only other being that that would relate to would be God.
07:46: God sees our hearts, God knows us, He sees our standing up and our sitting down, as I just preached this last Sunday, God knows everything.
07:54: And so, when we give that quality to this Santa Claus figure, we, in a sense, are kind of treading on dangerous ground, because later, the child's going to find out the truth about the Santa Claus character, and may perhaps, at that moment, begin to question, well, what about this other being that I've been told about, that sees everything, and knows everything, and is sort of everywhere, and knowing that that's God, and saying, well, is God like this, is God mythos, is God myth, rather than is God, rather than knowing that God is the truth? And that's the thing, right? I remember the day I found out about Santa Claus.
08:52: It's so funny, I was outside of a dentist's office, I was in Highland's shopping center, I don't remember what age I was, but I remember specifically, my father, I said something about Santa, and my father simply said, you know, you understand, this is not something that's real, and I remember saying, I kind of thought that.
09:31: Because at that point, even now, my eight-year-old is, you know, Santa's not real, she's starting to think these, say these things, think these things, and so, I remember, but I did shed a tear, this is the thing, once it kind of hit me, that I'd believed these things for a long time, and none of it was real, and everybody sort of just played along, it did sort of hit me, and I had sort of an emotional moment, where I was, where I cried a little bit, even though I didn't, you know, I didn't, it wasn't overwhelming, but it was still serious, it was enough for me to realize that this is, well, this is fairly, this is life-changing, when you believe something is real, and you find out it's not, and so, I do think that there can be, there is somewhat of a danger in telling your child an outright lie, and on top of that, when you tell the child, I know some parents who drill it in, you have to believe, you have to believe, Santa, Christmas isn't fun unless you believe in this character, this person, and so they sort of, it's sort of the opposite, right? Some parents are, you know, from the earliest, they let their child know that this is not real, but some parents try to keep the illusion until the child is well past the fantasy stage of intellect and understanding, as far as basing their reality in fantasy, when they're well into where they should understand more of a reasonable and logical understanding of reality, and the kids are still being sort of force-fed this idea of Santa Claus, and so this is where I think, you know, I think if you're outright telling your children lies and trying to get them to believe a lie, I think that that's problematic, and I would say that's where you need to start considering, are you really doing what's best for your child? Just because it's fun for you doesn't mean it's what's best for them.
11:53: So what I like to do, and I do try to help my children understand this, even though right now they're small, and getting them to understand this part is harder, but I like to try to help my children understand that there was a man named Nicholas of Myra, and he was a Christian man who was known for his great benevolence, and so therefore I can say there is a Saint Nick in history, and whether we call him Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, Santa Claus, you know, which comes from various, you know, all these names come from somewhere, but the original figure is based on Nicholas of Myra, who was known for being a benevolent churchman, and one of the most famous stories of his charitableness was when he saved three girls from a life of poverty.
12:53: They were daughters of a poor man who couldn't provide a dowry for them to be married, and as a result, they would have remained unmarried.
12:59: They would have been looked down upon in their culture.
13:01: So Nicholas, knowing of their plight, he threw three bags of gold through their windows, one for each daughter to provide for their financial needs, and one version of the story has Nicholas doing this over a period of three nights, the father watching for him on the third night, so in an attempt to remain anonymous, he dropped the last bag down the chimney, and some people say, well, that's where you get the idea of Santa Claus coming from the chimney.
13:27: But, if you look at the life of Nicholas of Myra, his life is marked by charity.
13:33: He was known for going through the poor areas, leaving gold coins in the shoes of the people whose shoes were left outside of their homes, and again, the whole idea of hanging stockings and Santa Claus leaving something in your stocking as a special gift.
13:48: This is, all of this, there's even a legend that says Saint Nicholas of Myra was at the Council of Nicaea, and that Saint Nicholas of Myra struck Arius for his heresies, and I love that story, I think it's one of my favorite Christmas stories, even though I don't necessarily think it was true historically, I think it's possible that that was a legend that became popularized.
14:16: But either way, the point is, there's a real man, his name is Nicholas of Myra, and I think the sooner you can get your children understanding that this idea of Santa Claus is based in fantasy, but there is a real historical truth behind the fact that there was a saint who was generous, and he was very generous with helping people and doing things with people, I think that that's a better and safer and ultimately a more strategically productive way of handling the Santa Claus question with your children.
15:02: One other thing that I think needs to be considered is that with the current and traditional Santa Claus motif, the one thing that goes with it is the naughty and nice idea, and the naughty list and the nice list, you want to stay off the naughty list and be on the nice list, and the danger of that is it brings into the child's mind an understanding of a works-based righteousness, that I want to get on the nice list by doing good things and I want to stay off the naughty list by avoiding naughty things.
15:40: And one of the things that we want our children to understand is that they are not ultimately saved, they're not ultimately in their relationship with God by virtue of their works, but by the work of God in Christ on their behalf.
15:58: And therefore, if we are pumping their minds with this idea that there is this mythical figure who sees everything and bases their relationship with him and what they're going to receive from him on their works, then I think again this becomes problematic later when we try to explain the concept of grace and that we are saved ultimately not by works, but by grace alone.
16:25: So again, these are thoughts to consider when you're thinking about how to explain these things to your children.
16:32: One final thought as we're going through this, and this maybe should be obvious, but I think it's often overlooked.
16:43: When Christian parents are discussing the question of Santa Claus, and is Santa Claus right, should we be dealing with Santa Claus and my children, I think often the thing that's missed is that the focus of Christmas should not be on Santa Claus.
17:00: The focus of Christmas should be on Jesus.
17:04: The star of Christmas should not be the man who brings the presents, and the star of Christmas should not be the jolly old elf and the eight tiny reindeer, but the star of Christmas should be the son of David.
17:22: The star of Christmas should be the Messiah, Jesus Christ.
17:27: And so the focus of Christmas should be on him more so than on the gifts and the celebration of all the things that go along with Christmas.
17:43: We should be focused on Jesus himself.
17:46: He who is the very reason for us to celebrate.
17:51: And so my encouragement would be to you, this holiday season, this Christmas season, when you are dealing with your children, if they're small and they're fantasizing about Santa, and you want to play along and engage with them, I don't see necessarily that there would be anything wrong with that.
18:10: If you're force feeding them, and even though they're starting to question, and you're making them believe the lie, I would say that's problematic.
18:18: But ultimately, however you handle the Santa Claus question, always keep in mind that Jesus is the most important person in human history, and certainly the most important person that we should be considering at Christmas time.
18:34: So as your children are doing the Santa thing, or asking questions about Santa, or is Santa real, maybe the answer to that question is to redirect them toward the true star of Christmas, and that is Jesus Christ.
18:49: And say, you know, rather than dealing with Santa Claus, let's deal with Jesus.
18:55: Rather than talking about Santa, let's talk about Jesus.
18:58: Why do we celebrate Christmas? Because Jesus, our Savior, was born.
19:06: And Jesus, our Savior, has come to save us.
19:10: And we have the blessing of knowing Jesus Christ as our personal Savior.
19:18: Kids, isn't that exciting to think about the fact that we have Jesus as our Savior, and God sent Him into the world, and He was born as the Son of Mary.
19:31: These are all these things we can talk about, and would have a wonderful conversation with our children.
19:37: So, these are my encouragements, and again, I readily admit, I'm not perfect on any of these things.
19:44: You know, I'm not saying that my way is the best way.
19:49: I'm just saying that here's how we handle it in our family, and I hope that somehow and in some way, what I've said has been an encouragement with you.
19:57: If you have questions or comments, and you'd like to interact with today's show, please remember that if you're listening to a platform that allows comments, we'd love to get comments, we'd love to get questions, and I look forward to engaging with those questions as you leave them.
20:12: Thank you again for listening to Coffee with a Calvinist.
20:15: My name is Keith Foskey, and I've been your Calvinist.
20:18: May God bless.
20:19: Thank you for listening to today's episode of Coffee with a Calvinist.
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20:30: We love to receive your comments and questions, and may even engage with them in a future episode.
20:37: As you go about your day, remember this.
20:40: Jesus Christ came to save sinners.
20:44: All who come to Him in repentance and faith will find Him to be a perfect Savior.
20:49: He is the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through Him.
20:56: May God be with you.