Submission to Christ in Marriage

Silicon Valley Reformed Baptist Church

Subscribe

Download

Share

00

00:01

Good morning beloved if you are so able please turn to your bibles and ephesians chapter 5

00:16

We're going to be examining Verses 22 to 27, please do stand when you have that for the reading of god's word

00:28

Hear ye this morning the word of the lord Wives submit to your own husbands ask to the lord

00:35

For the husband is the head of the wife even as christ is the head of the church His body and is himself its savior

00:43

Now as the church submits to christ so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands

00:50

Husbands, love your wives as christ loved the church And gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word

01:04

So that he might present the church to himself in splendor Without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without Blemish, amen.

01:18

May god bless the reading of his word. You may be seated Let us pray

01:25

Sovereign god we come before you Knowing that you are the true And only king of kings and lord of lords to whom we bow and bring true and humble submission to We ask god that you would bless the preaching of your word this morning that would go forth in power and authority and that it would be

01:47

Received by receptive ears and hearts on good soil that the seed may grow and prosper

01:53

And reap forth the blessing of eternal life and we ask these things in jesus name. Amen Boy this is one of those fun sermons where It can be a challenge especially in the day and culture that we live in to preach such a message as this the temptation

02:15

Of this message i'm going to speak to the brothers Is that when we read a verse like we just did?

02:22

in ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 wives Submit to your own husbands as to the lord

02:28

You know, I don't want to see any elbows going like this to the wives from the husband saying you hear that honey You hear what the pastor just said?

02:35

And then likewise in verse 25 when it says husband love your wives I don't want to see any of the women shoving their elbows into their husbands saying you hear that honey

02:45

Pastor said that and the reality is that there's a message here for both sexes for male and female for Those who are married for those who are not married

02:54

This is a message that is for you that will bless you that will encourage you and that will lead you into the right way of understanding the

03:02

Beauty that god has made and ordained for us in holy matrimony There's a beautiful message here

03:09

And in reality what we see in these verses of scripture is a glorious presentation of the gospel

03:18

But I want to put this out there before we go any further into the text I want you to understand this in genesis chapter 1

03:26

Verse 26 and 27. We have the triune god Saying let us make man in our image god creates in that perfect garden male and female

03:39

God had spoken his word into the cosmos and he says let us make man in our image

03:45

And then the result of that in genesis chapter 1 verse 26 and 27 Is that the the moses says under divine inspiration and then he made them male and female

03:57

In his image in his likeness brothers and sisters

04:03

Both male and female are equally made in the glorious image of god

04:11

There is no distinction between the male and the female in regard to their

04:18

Humanity and the shared image that they have received from their maker from the creator

04:24

We are indeed as the apostle paul Expresses so beautifully in galatians 3 28.

04:30

There is no slave or free man There is no greek or jew

04:35

There is no barbarian or scythian. There's no male or female, but we are all one in christ jesus

04:44

Meaning that the barriers between us whether it be race Whether it be the skin tone whether it be our sexual organs all those things break down into the unity of christ

04:58

Because on that great day when we are presented to christ, guess what we will be that bride

05:05

We will be this singular bride that comes before the lord. Holy spotless and blameless before our savior

05:13

Therefore I want you to write this in if you're following along men and women are equally made in the image of god

05:20

So there is no distinction in terms of human dignity and worth when we're talking about the sexes

05:26

It's not that that man is more so in a particularly ontological way made in god's image

05:35

It's not in the text of genesis chapter 1 and we don't see that in galatians chapter 3

05:41

Yet What we see is this oneness of humanity both in the garden

05:47

God made god said let us make man our image and then he made man in his image both male and female and then

05:54

By the apostle paul's words that we are all one in christ There is a unity that is shared amongst male and female in their connectedness to the creator and their relationship with christ

06:07

But there is an order So I I have to admit that I I speak on this subject with great humility

06:14

Because the subject that we are approaching this morning is one of great significance

06:21

It's one of marriage A couple years ago. So i'll be honest with you. This is my third time preaching through the book of ephesians

06:29

And i've preached it in canada. I've preached it in the last church I just love the book of ephesians and I think it's a great probably one of the most brilliant Pieces of work in the world

06:39

And I preached this sermon a similar sermon to this twice before And in wisconsin when

06:47

I preached this message I had a sister who was very strongly opinionated on many things and she came up to me after the message.

06:55

She's like You know, you shouldn't even preach These verses you are too young.

07:01

Who are you to tell me about life? Who are you to tell me about marriage? I was a little bit younger back then and but now i'm i'm in my 30s.

07:10

So I will not tolerate that uh from you guys I've lived a little bit of life now

07:17

This weekend it will be 11 years of marriage of me and my beloved And so I think I can speak a little bit into this topic and I can speak a little bit

07:26

Uh from my perspective as a person who's been married for 11 years, but also as a disciple and follower of jesus christ

07:33

Know this that uh, there is a a great power to understanding these verses of scripture that can bless your life

07:40

That can bless your marriage that can bless your family bless your relationships And there's a sacred mystery involved in all of this

07:48

That I want you to Comprehend with me this morning If not only by the power of the spirit working in us

07:55

But I speak with humility, but I also want to tell you that I speak with great authority On this not because i've been married for 11 years not because of my position as a pastor

08:06

But because the words that I speak are not my own but they're from god's word And god's word is the authority

08:13

God's word has the final say in all matters, especially dealing With our relationships to god and to one another and no greater

08:23

Relationship can one experience in this life apart from the relationship that we have with the lord

08:28

Than the relationship that you and I will have with our spouse Therefore with great humility, but with great authority

08:36

I present to you this message of submission to christ in marriage

08:43

The order of creation And the family unit itself

08:50

Has been trampled on in today's society in today's modern world

08:56

We see that all the gender roles and all the the the beautiful complexities that come with life and marriage

09:04

Have been under assault by post -modern egalitarian and feminist movement

09:12

That has taken over our country since the 1960s We see again that these roles of men and women in our post -modern context

09:23

Have been to undo the biblical roles of Male and female and to usurp the structure and the sanctity of the family unit itself

09:37

You know, there's two views predominant views in christiandom When it comes to the relationship of male and females

09:46

One is an egalitarian view, which is a worldly perspective, which essentially says Uh, they take the first part of what

09:53

I said. Yes Male and female we're equal Therefore we're all one. Therefore.

09:58

There's no distinctions And because there's no distinctions a woman can take on the roles of a man the man can take on the roles of a woman

10:07

And this egalitarianism that has infiltrated even the church uh does away with biblical authority

10:17

And biblical headship and this is why we see even within evangelicalism What is supposed to be the conservative wing of christiandom at least here in america you have women pastors women who believe that it is their their right to be in the pulpit and to deliver

10:35

God's word and to shepherd a people when god's word specifically tells us the qualifications of an elder the qualifications of a pastor

10:42

And that is a role particularly specifically for qualified men and so egalitarianism begins to Blur the lines between male and female and because we're all one

10:57

Because we're all equally made in god's image. Therefore we can equally share in these roles with very little distinction if any

11:07

I would submit to you that that is not the biblical worldview And that is not what the bible teaches in regard to the roles of male and female

11:16

Instead I would hold on to what is called a complementarian view That affirms again the uniqueness of male and females being made in god's image equally all having

11:27

Being made one in the body of christ under the supremacy of the lord.

11:32

Jesus christ yet being distinction There being distinctions within the roles of men and women

11:40

Regardless of what the world says men cannot get pregnant regardless of what they say

11:48

Men do not have the appropriate parts. It is not how god designed. This is not what god intended for men but instead

11:56

Women have been blessed with such a beautiful gift to be able to to Procreate in their womb to hold and and have a child develop in them and then deliver that child into the world

12:09

To nurture it to bless it to teach it and the role of a man Is to be a protector to be a provider and of course in also be a

12:21

Nurturing father figure we're not talking about these. Uh, gender roles in that uh, they are completely exclusive in regard to The mom always has to be the nice sweet one.

12:34

And then the dad's always a cold distant dad who just provides That's not what i'm talking about But instead what we see in the culture is this breakdown of the nuclear family

12:44

This breakdown of gender roles this breakdown of the family unit And it stems from an egalitarian

12:53

Perspective and even beyond just the egalitarianism and the complementarianism and the views that we've laid out before you this morning

13:00

What's really at stake here is the gospel What really is at stake here is

13:07

Addressing sin And finding our solution to sin in the person and work of jesus christ

13:14

Because it is god himself who is established through creation And through his word the proper roles for men and women

13:23

This is now where we find ourselves in god's word We see in verse 22 of ephesians chapter 5 paul after delivering a word of Walking in the newness of life as christians

13:37

He says in verse 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for christ and and that's not just something that we do

13:42

Within the church context. This is a submission out of reverence that we do in all relationships

13:49

Specifically in the ones that paul are going to is going to lay out right now in verses 22 and 25 when he says wives

13:55

Submit to your own husbands as to the lord I want to admit that this is a this can be a potentially dangerous text

14:06

In that this is a text that can be easily When understood and read only in a vacuum

14:12

Misapplied and be even harmful to people why Because the way in which wives submit to their husbands according to scripture

14:23

Is what we see in verse 21 one out of reverence for christ Now are husbands worthy of their wives submission

14:34

I would present to you and say that yes But We know we live in a fallen world

14:41

Where there are men who can be abusive men who can be cold and hard and distant and yet even the an unbelieving spouse

14:52

Is worthy of submission And so how do we square these things these real life examples of life where where sometimes there's even abuse in a marriage

15:03

Between the husband and the wife and how do we square this with god's word saying wives submit to your husbands as to the lord

15:11

Well, I believe this that submission Which is the key word here to submit

15:18

Submit is a really ugly word in our culture today. Don't you agree? Think about that word and the connotation that it has especially amongst young people

15:30

If you bring this into the modern world and you say and you bring this before a modern couple and you talk about gender roles

15:36

And you say it is a wife's duty to submit to your husband. The woman would likely scoff laugh

15:44

And say yeah, right And in fact, I know this because I have brought this up in many modern contexts and have gotten that very same response

15:55

There's something that has happened and shifted in our world since the 1960s The culture has celebrated independence from authority resulting in a generation

16:05

Who rejects godly submission? And and what does that result in what's been a fruit of this venture since the sexual revelation?

16:14

Revolution in the in the 60s and 70s nothing less than the breakdown of the nuclear family

16:21

Where divorce rates have now skyrocketed over 50 in america

16:28

Where a majority for the first time in history? We're seeing a a huge shift in the demographics where somewhere north of 30 of households are now

16:40

Run by single mothers We've also seen an increase in sexual morality along with all kinds of societal woes that stem from unfettered sexual supremacy in the culture notice the spread of All sorts of sicknesses and diseases sexually transmitted diseases

17:02

You see monkey pox in the news These are all things that are a result of a broken fallen world and in a sinful course of action

17:11

That has divorced sexuality gender roles from their proper place as god has ordained them and yet We know that there is an opposer.

17:21

There's satan the devil who is our opposer Who did not submit to god and has sown his seeds of rebellion all over our land yet the answer to this the answer that we must come to is godly submission godly submission

17:43

Submission first and foremost to christ who is indeed lord Last week we talked about submitting to christ and the supremacy of christ lordship

17:53

Jesus christ is indeed lord of lords and king of kings and we must submit to him and in submitting to him

18:01

We find our submission to one another in the context of the church the context of god's people

18:07

But we also see even more importantly or just as importantly submission in the family

18:15

Because the family is sacred I know the world doesn't think so anymore The world has has rejected traditional family norms

18:24

And again, what does that result in a world filled with even more chaos?

18:31

As the nuclear family begins to break down in this country. So will our institutions. It's no wonder why institutional trusts

18:38

Are at all -time low in this country This is not something that is just New or has just developed recently.

18:46

This has been a trend for the last 70 years in this country Godliness and godly submission produces working blessed efficient happy families and homes

19:04

You see this is not about the subjection of women Or Setting women back as many women would accuse a message of like like this or words like this to to presume

19:16

But instead this is for the true liberation of the sexes To embrace the call of god and the submission that leads to freeness in christ

19:29

I want you if you can turn to first peter chapter 3 In first peter chapter 3 peter gives an odd and a word admonition to those who are married a very timely word

19:49

And he says in first peter chapter 3 starting in verse 1 likewise wives

19:57

Be subject to your own husbands very similar admonition that paul gives the churches in ephesus

20:04

So that even if some do not obey the word That they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives

20:15

Notice what is at play here Notice what's at stake In terms of godly submission and submission to one another in the context of marriage

20:26

Nothing less than the gospel It's the gospel Wives are to submit to their husbands even if they're unbelievers.

20:34

Why? So that they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives

20:41

You know, maybe some of you guys have read a book the case for christ uh, the case for christ was a book written by lee strobel who was uh independent journalist for the chicago tribune and Uh, he got married to the love of his of his wife, but he was an atheist and his wife was an atheist, too

20:58

Shortly after the marriage the wife began attending church and became a christian

21:04

And this frustrated and angered lee strobel so much Uh that he could not believe that his wife would betray him that she would become a christian of all things

21:14

When that wasn't what he signed up for he didn't sign up to marry a woman like that He didn't sign up to marry, you know a christian woman

21:22

But what resulted was that as his wife continued to learn and grow in christ

21:29

She began to change Her life began to be a living testimony and so much so that lee strobel became inquisitive to her christian faith

21:42

And even though he was treating her Not very well But She maintained a godly stance of submission and of love and faithfulness to her husband

21:55

And what resulted from that is that lee strobel then goes and does an investigative work to find out if christianity could be true

22:03

And that resulted in the testimony that he gave in the case for christ where he himself also became a christian

22:08

And had submitted to the lordship of jesus christ and now their marriage is whole in jesus

22:15

So if you're following along in the teaching godly submission marriage honors god and can win unbelieving spouses

22:24

How do they win unbelieving spouses? Well, it says in verse 2 of first peter chapter 3

22:29

He says when they see your respectful and pure conduct You see when you come to faith in jesus.

22:37

Jesus changes you from the inside out He does not leave you the way he found you And he will begin to change you your heart your desires your the way that you present yourself the way that you live and you begin to have a life of respectful

22:53

And beautiful purity And so it is by pure conduct.

22:58

You can write that in as well Godly submission produces fruit and of that fruit can be even the winning over of unbelieving spouses by the pure conduct

23:08

Now this is a challenge for not only Women but also for men There are many men who also have unbelieving spouses and and the same truth applies in Verse 2 that they see are respectful and pure conduct

23:24

They should see a difference in you. The world should be able to see a difference in each and every single one of you

23:31

You know, there's a phrase that I really appreciate it goes like this If you know that the world if the world cannot tell that you're a christian by your facebook

23:41

Then you're doing something wrong If the world cannot tell that you're a christian by your conduct, but what you put out there on social media

23:50

There's a great discrepancy then between that which you profess and that which you Act out in real life

23:58

Our life should be a living testimony. It is significant. However in our main text in ephesians chapter 5

24:04

I hope that through this text husbands and wives are reminded of their duties

24:11

And not their rights They're reminded of their duties to one another but not their rights

24:20

And in the world that we live in today, we have forsaken duty for rights and maybe it's just the american in us

24:26

Where we have so many beautiful rights enshrined In our constitution that grant us

24:32

Unparalleled freedoms compared to the rest of human civilization and human history yet dear christian

24:41

It is helpful to be reminded that is not always about your rights, but more so your duties as a christian

24:48

Your duty as a father as a husband to provide to protect to be a defender to lift up the banner of jesus christ

24:55

Your duty as a wife to lovingly submit to the arrangement that god has blessed in the family

25:01

To rear your children in the way that they should go Producing godly offspring for the glory of god and for the advancement of god's kingdom throughout the ages

25:12

We must remember that it is important also to read all that is said in this section realizing again

25:17

That it follows that which has been said in verse 21 about mutual submission And that it presupposes what is stated in galatians 3 28 of the equality of christ the equality in christ of male and females

25:33

But there is still a greater thing to be learned and grasped in ephesians chapter 5

25:40

Verse 23 says for the husband Is the head of the wife even

25:47

As christ is the head of the church His body and is himself its savior the christian family

26:01

Is ordered under Christ headship. I want you to write that in The christian family is ordered under christ headship

26:13

We see in first corinthians chapter 11 verse 3 the apostle paul says That the head of the woman is the man the head of the man is christ and the head of christ is god

26:26

There is headship and order notice that men

26:32

Are under the headship of christ women under the headship Of the man, but christ under the headship of the father

26:42

There is a mutual respect and submission In the arrangement of the godhead even and Christ though he submits as the god man to the father

26:56

Does that make him any less god? by no means Jesus christ is equally

27:02

God Shares all the attributes of the one true and triune god.

27:07

He is in himself fully god and yet First corinthians 11 3 he is in submission.

27:18

He is under the headship of god the father Doesn't make him any less god

27:25

In the same way that when a woman submits to her husband doesn't make her any less

27:31

Human worthy of dignity love protection And under the image of the almighty god

27:38

Therefore these are things that we are to be reminded of to be encouraged with that this headship

27:44

And submission is ultimately out of reverence for him

27:50

Again, we we understand this in light of verse 21 of ephesians 5 submitting to one another out of reverence for christ

28:00

But when our rights become the focus we I me become the center of the relationship

28:11

When I make it about my rights or when you make it about your rights Who's at the center?

28:18

You see we can speak like this in regard to our political rights Because in a democracy and a republic the people rule and it is about the people

28:28

But in the family and in marriage It isn't about you It isn't about your rights

28:34

It's about christ It's about god. It's about the lord It is the lord who should be the center of our marriages and not me and my desires

28:48

Because when you look at why 51 of marriages end up in divorce in america Most of them result in what's called irreconcilable differences irreconcilable differences another way of saying that is

29:02

Essentially in the marriage in the commitment one party says to the other you know what this isn't what

29:07

I signed up for you are not Completing or satisfying what

29:14

I thought you would be doing So therefore I have grounds and rights to to dissolve the contract to dissolve the covenant

29:22

Because you didn't live up to your side or you just not what I thought you would be irreconcilable differences

29:29

Now what's the error in that the gross sin behind that is the sin of idolatry The sin of me being at the center of the marriage and not christ

29:39

Because in a christ -centered marriage, it's not about you It's not about me

29:45

It's about him It's about christ It's about his glory his kingdom his dominion

29:52

And the family is at the heart of the dominion and rule of christ in this world It is through the family it is through this beautiful Union of man and woman and marriage and holy matrimony that god is indeed increasing and blessing his kingdom

30:11

The family is so important brothers and sisters And marriage is the glue that holds

30:18

Mary that that marriage is the glue that holds families together You see i'm a product of divorce my parents divorced when

30:25

I was 13 years old So I know up front and personal the destruction that comes with divorce

30:32

You know just recently, uh, my youngest son, uh, my oldest son Uh, he said he watched a program, uh on disney or something and he was asking me

30:42

Is it true that sometimes mom and daddies? leave each other And I said, yeah.

30:48

Yeah, so he this concept of divorce never even Occurred to him And I said, yes, unfortunately there are people who get married and then they leave each other and he says that makes me sad

30:59

And it should make all of us sad Because it's not what god intended God did not intend for this union to be broken by anything but death

31:09

And it is why oftentimes in our society divorce is usually the first option instead of the last

31:16

And as soon as we're uncomfortable as soon as as our inconveniences Are are Interrupted We find it just and right within ourselves to initiate the dissolvement of the covenant

31:30

And that does not honor christ Does not honor his headship Does not honor the reverence that we are to show to him in submitting to one another in love for the reverence and glory of christ

31:43

See it is with the lord at the center that we can begin to see the big picture of marriage

31:48

That submission isn't about who has more rights or authority in the relationship But rather that it is to acknowledge this truth that christ is the authority

32:00

Christ is the authority Not you not me Not what

32:05

I feel about my marriage, but christ Christ is lord

32:11

And what has the lord ordained? But for us for women for wives to submit to your husbands as to the lord and husbands to love their wives

32:24

We'll get more into that in just a second notice what it says Though one more time in verse 23 for the husband is ahead of the wife even as christ is ahead of the church

32:34

So there's respect there's this Setting up of headship that we've seen the text then his body and is himself its savior you see if we do anything to destroy to Waken the bond of holy matrimony of marriage

32:50

We are attacking the very heart of christ In that marriage is a picture of christ and his people

33:00

No less can we undo And separate christ from his people And that should be the same heart that we ought to have in our marriages

33:09

That divorce is not an option It's not even to be considered amongst holy people amongst

33:18

Those who believe in christ verse 24 says Now as the church

33:24

Submits to christ. So also wives should submit in everything to their husbands this again

33:32

Is a respectful a a a submission out of reverence for christ

33:37

Just as the church submits to christ in saying which is pretty important here folks that the pastor

33:46

Or bishop or an organization is not the final authority but christ himself

33:52

And this is how you can recognize a true church from a false one the one who holds fast to the word of god as the inerrant inspired authoritative word

34:04

And practices that which is laid out in holy scripture. That is a true and good church

34:10

But there are churches now even in our nation even in our own backyard That throw the bible to the wind and they say the bible's not that authoritative.

34:19

We can bend it here and there There there are things that are just out of date. For instance, this is why we can have female pastors

34:25

These are just so out of date, you know, it's just cultural. It's just you know, we don't have to follow everything in the bible

34:33

Nonsense because at that point who becomes the authority well they do but a true church

34:39

Finds its authority in scripture Finds his submission to christ in holy scripture

34:46

So this is why again it says now as the church submits to christ the church is to submit to christ and everything in everything

34:56

So also wives should submit in everything to their husbands Husbands But now comes a good strong warning in which we have to Understand verse 24 in light of what we're going to see in verse 25 husbands.

35:10

So now here's the word to you men husbands Love your wives

35:16

As christ loved the church and gave himself up for her Husbands here's your command

35:25

Love your wife Love your wife I'm not talking about have you know, just a nice little uh fuzzy feelings in your heart or or Or love your wife when it's convenient when she when she looks good when she looks bad when she's healthy when she's not healthy

35:41

Regardless of her circumstance you love that woman You love her so much that you'd be willing to die and lay down your life for her

35:49

You'd be willing to lay down your life for your children It is a sacrificial agape love to which he has called you to love your wives

35:56

And if you love your wife as christ has commanded us there's going to be a

36:02

A few things that you will not even dare to do one. You will not lay your hands on her in an inappropriate way

36:11

That's very important Men are not to domineer their wives

36:18

Not to lay a hand on them to do harm to them But they are to love and cherish that woman that god has ordained to be his own

36:29

Therefore we should not even fathom to lay a finger on god's precious anointed

36:37

And so brothers and sisters we recognize that this submission is important But but husbands know this the love to which you have been called to Is that with which christ has loved us with?

36:51

Humble gentle loving and also in all ways Another thing that we must avoid to do as husbands is to not consider our wives

37:04

In the decision -making process It's easy for a man to say well i'm the head

37:10

What I say goes it's my decision No, no, no brothers and sisters when when the bible says that when a man and woman come together they become one flesh

37:18

Not that you become 100 of that flesh it is two that become one Therefore decisions should be made in the context of relationship

37:27

You know, you you do not as a husband have unilateral power to do bad for your for your family

37:34

You are to lead And you are to lead well And this is what it means to have the mind of christ

37:41

To submit to christ in all things just as the church submits to christ and that when we lead

37:46

We are someone worthy of leading Because it's so often that wives will follow their husbands even to the pit

37:58

And and husbands that's going to fall on you That's going to be on your shoulder. That's going to be on you on that day of judgment so husbands

38:07

Love your wives as christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

38:14

So you don't live and lead a life in which you lead your wife into despair

38:21

Or into the grips of death, but rather you be the one Who will be fighting for her championing her championing your family even to the point of death.

38:30

That's your duty That's your job Okay, regardless of how that of how that takes shape and form

38:37

It is your job to slay the dragons It's your job to be protector. It's your job to be a provider

38:44

It's yours. It's your responsibility Just as christ is the one who slays the dragon for us

38:50

He's the one who comes the victorious david who comes and destroys the dragon of sin will destroy the dragon of satan the devil himself

38:58

And he will present to himself a beautiful blameless perfect spotless bride

39:05

You see that one of the reasons why that bride is going to be spotless is because it's jesus who's done all the work to protect her

39:13

And so it falls in the man To be a strong Protector Are you protecting your spouse?

39:20

Are you protecting your spouse your family your children from the influences of the world? from the machinations of the devil from his fiery arrows

39:30

It is our job to be not only The one taking the lead in finances or work or mundane things of life, but spiritually

39:40

We are to be the priests of our own home we're the ones who are to be leading our family and family worship

39:47

Leading them in the word daily Making them strong in the lord This is our duty

39:55

And we do so out of reverence for christ We see in verse 25 again

40:02

Husbands love your wives as christ Loved the church you see the love that with with which we are to love

40:11

Can you even begin to imagine the depths of christ's love? The love that he has for his elect the love that he has for his people

40:20

We can only get a foretaste a bit of a taste of that and marriage When you make those vows you make the decision i'm going to forsake all others in pursuit of loving you

40:32

And making you whole And bringing forth godly offspring into this world Is a foretaste of heaven

40:39

I want you to write this in there marriage Is a model of christ that and a model of christ and the church or of the church it should say

40:48

And the covenant love He has for his people It's a church

40:56

And the covenant love that he has for his people and that's the covenant love of which we are to love our spouse

41:04

Now again, I speak in great humility Because I do not speak to you as one who has fully figured us all out

41:12

All you have to do is interview my wife for a couple minutes To know that to be true I haven't figured this out.

41:19

Perfectly. Do I make mistakes? Do I not love perfectly? Not even close But brothers and sisters it should be our aim

41:27

To be like christ more and more and no greater area can we be more like christ than in our marriage

41:32

Because there's no greater tool that god has provided for us to be like him than marriage

41:39

How why how is that? So? Because marriage really if you think about it

41:45

Is about learning to love someone unconditionally Who doesn't always meet the conditions?

41:51

That's unconditional love It means there's love about conditions and yet we all have conditions

41:59

But will you love your husband Will you love your wife?

42:06

Even when they fail to meet the conditions That's agape love You know, that's the love that christ has for you

42:14

Do you always meet his conditions? Do you meet god's perfect law daily?

42:20

Do you meet and stand and stand up to all the requirements that god has for us? Absolutely not

42:26

And yet he loves you He loves you regardless And you are his regardless And he won't give up on you because he will not lose not even one of his sheep

42:38

That's the love that he has for you And that's the love that he's called us to have for our spouse

42:45

It's god's love god's love So brethren sisters

42:53

Love of such a covenant love Love of the same love of which you have received from the beloved the son of god

43:01

Even jesus our savior who gave himself for us. He is himself the head and the savior of his people of his bride

43:11

Let us let us do that and be that Let us live in such a way that we are glorifying christ by loving our spouse and loving our neighbors

43:24

It's the love of god Which is why again he might say in verse 25 and 26 husbands

43:30

Love your wives as christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her

43:38

By the washing of water with the word Husbands you are commanded

43:48

I want you to write that in there to love your wife Sacrificially as christ loved the church

43:57

Marriage beloved male and female you must hear this it isn't about you

44:04

It's about the gospel It's about the gospel It's the good news

44:10

That god has come forward in the fullness of time born of the virgin To live the life that you could not live by the death that you deserved

44:18

Was raised again on the third day to glory and has ascended and seated at the right hand of god the father Interceding for our sins even now as we speak

44:26

It is the gospel that is at stake in our marriages Learning to love someone unconditionally who does not always meet the conditions

44:36

This is what god has called you to And marriage is an daily exercise of the gospel

44:43

Of the love of god come down from heaven And we get to partake in that and have a sweet taste

44:50

Of what it's going to be like to be joined together with jesus for all eternity Because marriage according to the christian doctrine

44:57

Is until death do us part We are not like the mormon church that says that that marriage is an eternal ordinance or covenant that extends all the way into eternity and that we're going to have

45:09

You know spirit babies on different planets and things of that nature That's not the christian doctrine But instead the christian doctrine points that earthly marriage is an institution that god has ordained to prepare us for the heavenly institution of christ and his bride

45:24

We are awaiting there's an eschatological expectation that is uh that is uh realized in the marriage between man and woman

45:34

And we eagerly await The appearing and manifestation from heaven the lord jesus christ our great god and savior the blessed hope

45:42

Where we will be joined to him forever and unbroken Praise and worship and we'll be joined to him.

45:50

We as the bride and he the bridegroom There's a sacred mystery at work here

45:58

There's a sacred mystery at work Because the bible says in verse 26 again that he might sanctify her christ sanctifying the church

46:07

Having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. There's a washing This is the renewal of the holy ghost the regeneration

46:15

That happens in every believer when the holy spirit comes upon you Verse 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish without blemish

46:34

Here's another eschatological reality that we all need to come to grips with right now. You are not

46:40

That's that perfect spotless bride You are still marked and mired by the fall

46:47

Sin still affects every single one of us and yet What god is accomplishing?

46:55

through this Is the Result in the transformation of his people

47:03

Beginning first and foremost when one is born again receives the internal regeneration of the spirit

47:09

He changes us. We become more like jesus through the sanctifying work of the spirit But then there will be a day in which we will all corporately

47:17

Be gathered together before the lord and we shall be truly In splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing

47:27

And that we will be presented to christ holy and without blemish without blemish

47:34

That's what god is producing in us That is what god is doing in us in the people of god

47:41

The last bullet point the secret union of marriage is meant for our holiness

47:47

You see marriage is not about happiness more than it is actually about holiness

47:53

We often think in marriage that the whole purpose of marriage is for me to be happy I found the one person who's going to make me happy for the rest of my life and we can live happily ever after That is a fairy tale.

48:04

That is a disney channel invention. Uh, it is not what marriage is about Marriage is not about your happiness.

48:11

That should be a byproduct of it But it's not about your happiness. This is why again marriage is ending divorce.

48:17

I'm no longer happy And Who cares about your happiness

48:24

You know what christ cares more about than your happiness your holiness You becoming more like them

48:32

You becoming more and more like jesus. That's what jesus cares about And in fact, that is what he is producing in his people and that is what he's producing through marriage

48:41

It is the greatest tool That god has ordained for men and women to be prepared for the life ahead in eternity

48:50

It is for you to become holy Now I want to say a quick word to the single

48:58

How are you preparing Yourself to be led or to lead in true holiness

49:07

How are you preparing yourself to be spiritually fit To lead or be led in marriage

49:13

Now some especially young men in our culture in our churches wonder why

49:21

They aren't married Maybe they're in their 20s or 30s or 40s and they wonder why am

49:26

I not married yet? and yet secretly addicted to pornography

49:34

Is it any wonder Notice what the result of marriage ought to be well it will be on that great and final day that christ is going to be presented a wife a bride who is spotless who is without blemish and the job of the husband is to Wash his wife to cleanser under the teaching and the renewal of the word of god

49:55

And so if you are a single man And you are struggling with sexual sin and perversion

50:01

You are not ready to be a husband You are not fit to lead So then it's no wonder then

50:09

That you're not married God won't honor your request of marriage if you won't even be fit to lead a wife in true holiness

50:18

So therefore consider it a grace That you aren't married Now that's not to single out everyone who's single and say that the reason why you are single is because of that surely not

50:28

Surely not The lord knows your heart the lord the lord knows your situation and circumstances and we're not the ones to judge that But beloved know this that if you are a single person and and you are dealing with immorality of sorts

50:44

It's no wonder Consider it a grace Consider it a grace That he has now allowed you to ruin such a good and beautiful thing

50:53

Because such a beautiful thing as marriage can be completely tainted and even destroyed

50:59

By perversions like that But know this that the lord is himself preparing you

51:05

It is indeed preparing his people for the marriage that all marriages point to And that's the marriage supper of the lamb

51:13

And so it maybe god has gifted you singleness But if you if you feel like that's not your calling to be single

51:21

And if you feel like god is calling you to to marry to to have godly offspring consider this point

51:28

That god has called you to be holy That god has called men to wash their wives with the washing of the word of god

51:36

Just as christ has washed us with the water of regeneration through the holy spirit Which has been given to us so that we may become holy

51:44

And that our job as husbands is to present our wives Holy spotless and blameless before jesus through the working of the spirit in us

51:52

And that christ is going to accomplish this through sanctification and glorification But this is a heavy call it's not an easy life sometimes

52:03

Men and women jump into marriage too quickly because of They don't necessarily go with all the right expectations and sometimes they have to learn the hard ways

52:13

I hope this doesn't upset my wife, but our first year was not an easy Time, you know, most people say my first year of marriage was beautiful.

52:21

You know, we went to hawaii. Uh, we were broke Still haven't gone to hawaii 10 years later um

52:28

It wasn't easy We were young 19 at the time And we didn't have a lot of life experience and and uh, what resulted was that we almost it almost didn't work out

52:41

But christ Christ was at the center Christ has remained at the center

52:48

And because of that You know, I can say 11 years And hopefully 20 years 30 years 40 years until the lord takes us home

52:58

That's the goal. It's to be holy Is to find christ in our marriages that he'd be the center of it

53:05

Why because all marriages point to the marriage? of the supper and the marriage supper of the lamb

53:11

I won't take too much more time But I want to see if we can just to look at one more text of scripture in revelation chapter 19 last book of the bible

53:18

If you're reading through god's word, i'm, sorry i'm going to give you spoilers But it works out everything works out at the end and we see in revelation chapter 19 starting in verse 7

53:32

We see this glorious Exaltation of god and rejoicing in heaven where we see in verse 7 the heavens themselves declare this let us rejoice and exalt

53:44

And give him the glory For the marriage of the lamb has come And his bride has made herself ready

53:53

And it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen bright and pure For the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints

54:03

What we see at the end of history Is you and I and all those who are united to christ by faith will be joined together with him and we will indeed

54:14

Be glorious and spotless and we will be before our bridegroom

54:19

Even the lord jesus christ and we will be joined to him for all eternity

54:25

He is the one to whom our hearts truly belong to and if our hearts belong to christ

54:33

Then your marriage will be blessed And your marriage and relationships will prosper

54:40

Hallelujah for the lord our god almighty he reigns and he rejoices and exalts and is glorified in the marriage

54:49

Arrangement that he has made for you and for me We see ultimately this beautiful picture culminate in chapter 21 of revelation where he says

55:00

In verse 9 and 10 we see this then came one of the seven angels who had been Who had had the seven bowls of the seven last plagues and spoke to me saying come

55:10

I will show you the bride The wife of the lamb and he carried me away in the spirit to a great high mountain and showed me the holy city

55:18

Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from god You are indeed the heavenly jerusalem

55:26

You are indeed that beautiful city that comes shining down that shining city on a hill comes down To meet his king

55:36

To meet the savior and then the last words of revelation chapter 22 verse 17

55:45

The spirit and the bride say that's god's spirit the bride you're the bride the church

55:51

Say come And let the one who hears say come let the one who is thirsty come let the one who desires take the water of life without price

56:00

This is the end Goal for our marriages that through our marriages

56:07

That it be such a testimony for the glory of christ That our singleness be such a testimony for the glory of christ

56:13

Whoever you may be in life may be such a testament to the glory of christ that we can say to the nations come

56:20

Come and partake in the marriage supper of the lamb And come and receive this water of life without price

56:30

This is the gospel call marriage Is so closely united to the gospel

56:39

And therefore we must live a gospel centric life have a gospel centric marriage to the glory of the lamb

56:47

All glory be to christ. Let me pray Savior our true and proper head

56:57

Even the lord jesus christ We come before you asking that you'd humbly work in us to receive this word, which has been proclaimed to your people

57:07

That we would take with it all of its implications Stir it into our hearts

57:14

And wait with great eagerness and anticipation Thy coming from heaven on a white steed

57:22

To destroy your enemies and also to redeem once and for all Your your blessed and set apart bride

57:31

Lord jesus help us in this life To live lives that are holy and gratifying to you by the indwelling and the working out of our redemption through the working of the spirit

57:43

And help us lord god in our marriages Father, I pray for any marriages here that are struggling

57:51

I pray lord that they would run and seek shelter in christ That they would seek shelter for their souls and for the soul of their families in jesus

58:02

That jesus would be that sure anchor and hope of our redemption Lord, we if if you can raise the dead you can even raise marriages from the dead

58:12

And so lord help us lord if we find ourselves struggling in our marriages We pray lord that you'd help us to see the true call of marriage is to that Of submission and holiness to the glory and reverence of your name

58:28

Lord help us when we are weak to be strong May you bless the marriages here the families the children

58:35

That they too our children would see godly Families and godly arrangements and marriages and would seek that in their lives

58:44

That we would not set a bad example for them lord but in debt but indeed lord that they would look forward to the riches and glory that are in marriage as we live out this gospel

58:56

As we say to the nations come that they're not coming to something that is superficial or hypocritical but instead

59:02

Something that is marked out with true love and devotion to christ So lord help us in all these things and more

59:09

That your name would be highly magnified and made great to you belongs the glory both now and forevermore