Sunday Sermon: Unity in the Bond of Peace

You are listening to the teaching ministry of Gabriel Hughes, pastor of First Southern Baptist Church in Junction City, Kansas. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday on this podcast, we feature 20 minutes of Bible study through.

A New Testament book.

On Thursday is a study in the Old Testament, and then we answer questions from the listeners on Friday. Each Sunday we are pleased to share our sermon series, presently going through the book of Ephesians.

Here's Pastor Gabe.

The Calling to Walk Worthy of the Gospel

The Apostle Paul writing to the church in Ephesus. I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift. Therefore, it says, when he ascended on high, he led a host of captives and he gave gifts.

To men.

In saying he ascended, what does it mean but that he also descended into the lower regions the earth? He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens that he might fill all things.

Remembering the Gospel in Ephesians 1–3

Let us come again in prayer. Our Heavenly Father, as we consider this passage again today, I pray that we remember what we have read thus far coming to this point, what we have explored in the previous three chapters, the turn that Paul makes here and the exhortation to call us to walk in that manner in which we have been called, walking according to the gospel of Christ that we have put faith in and believed.

And I pray that in so doing, we grow in unity and that unity is demonstrated even within this body. We have a unity with one another in this church. May we understand what that even looks like to have a unity with other believers who are not even part of this congregation, that we may even pray for and wrestle with those brothers and sisters around the globe in the things that they struggle in as we all pray together what John prayed at the end of the book, come quickly, Lord Jesus.

We ask for your hand of blessing upon us this morning, that we may have hearts that will receive this word, eyes to see and ears to hear. And we pray this in Jesus' name and all God's people said, amen.

Thank you. You may be seated. So here's how I want to break this up this morning, Ephesians 4, 1 through 10, we're going to have four points that we will delve into. The first of which will be a summary.

We're going to look back on some of those things that we have read and studied and understood thus far in the book of Ephesians. Secondly, we're going to talk about unity. Of course, you probably picked that up in this particular passage in verses two through six in particular.

And then we are going to talk about reliance, our reliance upon Christ. And it is our reliance upon Him that brings unity. It is not a work, it's not a human work that we do, but it is by the Spirit of God working within us.

And then finally, we will be looking at exhortation, an exhortation to the body of Christ. How does this charge now extend to us and how we are to live this in the world? Summary, unity, reliance, and exhortation.

And if you're keeping track of the first letters of each one of those four points, they spell the word sure. If you don't mind me being a little bit cheesy with my points this morning. But we do have a certainty in Christ and a certainty not only in the love that He has shown for us, but we should also have a certainty in the love that exists within the body of Christ as well.

Of course, we understand the certainty of the love of God, at least I hope we do. That was the subject of what we talked about last week. The love of the Father that has been demonstrated through Jesus Christ our Lord and the Apostle Paul praying for the church that he was writing to.

And my exhortation to you that you would pray for one another the same way, that we would know and understand the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. What is the breadth and length and height and depth?

And to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge that we may be filled with all the fullness of God. And it's in knowing this love that has been demonstrated for us in Christ Jesus that we therefore must demonstrate this love with one another.

I touched on that briefly last week, and we look at that with greater depth here today. But let's consider this first part in Ephesians chapter one, verse one, where it says, I, therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.

This is not the first time in Ephesians that we've seen that word called. As a matter of fact, it's come up quite a bit, especially in chapter one, it's the very way that Paul started this letter. Ephesians one, starting in verse three, He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and blameless before Him.

In love, He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace with which He has blessed us in the Beloved. In verse 11, in Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of His glory.

And we have come into the presence of God. We have come to be worshipers of God because we were called. And that calling was first extended to us through the preaching of the gospel. When you heard the gospel of Jesus Christ preached and proclaimed, when you heard it said that you were a sinner, you were bound for hell unless you had repented and followed Jesus Christ.

There was an external calling, and that external calling was the announcement of the gospel that came to you. And then there was an internal calling, and that internal calling was the Holy Spirit that convicted your heart of it and caused you to respond to it.

As we look back also at Ezekiel 36, where the Lord says, I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes and be careful to obey My rules. That's what happens in what we refer to, the doctrine that we refer to as an effectual.

Calling.

We not only heard it with our physical ears, but we heard it with our spiritual ears. We were no longer closed to the message and the Word of God, but the Holy Spirit had regenerated our hearts, previously cold and dead, to being alive and desiring of the love of our God.

That's the calling that came to every one of us, the calling of the gospel, the calling to repent from sin and follow Jesus Christ, to turn from something to something. We're turning away from our sin, we're turning away from the desires and the passions of our flesh, and we are turning to those things which please God, which please our Savior.

That's the bedrock, the foundation of the calling that we have received. And then what we're going to talk about as we continue on here in Ephesians 4, we're going to talk about even individual callings that God has given to each and every one of.

Us.

That's most often the way that this particular verse is read, Ephesians 4 .1, I therefore a prisoner for the Lord urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called. As a matter of fact, that prisoner of the Lord part generally just gets left off.

And so the statement then becomes, walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called. And we who are Americans, and we love the American dream, and we pursue the American dream, right?

Amen?

All right, okay. No, I'm not the only one.

It's all right.

We have, the Lord has blessed and prospered this nation, and we're enjoying those blessings even now sitting in this air-conditioned room as we are reading the scriptures and learning from God's word.

So we definitely enjoy the benefits and the blessings that God has given upon this nation. But as Americans pursuing that American dream, you know, we anticipate this calling that God has for us, right?

This specific thing that God is calling me to. He wants me to be a writer. He wants me to move to the big city. He wants me to marry this person and have this many kids, and that's the calling that God has for me.

He wants me to graduate with honors. He wants me to have a fabulous career and retire in the lap of luxury. That's God's calling for me, right? Sounds like you're establishing, though, what you think God's calling should be for you rather than understanding God's calling.

So that's the way we tend to interpret that. We try to put ourselves into it, and this is all my hopes and dreams. We also use that whenever we talk about the will of God. Even when I was in middle school, I would use Romans 12 too that way, where it says that we should pursue the will of God as good, pleasing, and perfect will.

And I would say, ah, see, he's got hopes and dreams for me. All my dreams are going to come true because God has a will for me. Well, when you read in 1 Thessalonians 5, you learn that God's will for you is to give thanks in all circumstances to Christ Jesus.

His will for you is not that you would have a fabulous career and drive a flashy car. Some of us may verbally abhor what gets called the prosperity gospel, but in our hearts, do we really? Do we really hate what gets called the prosperity gospel, or in our hearts, do we still kind of store up for ourselves a desire to have those riches and wealth someday?

And if God loves me, he'll give them to me. That's what we must be careful of, that we're not giving our hearts over to things instead of the one who made all things. When we read, I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, this is a beautiful bridging statement that Paul has made here, because it not only calls to attention the things that he's previously written in the previous three chapters, but it's also directing toward what he is going to instruct the Ephesians in in the next three.

Chapters.

So we're at a halfway point, we're at a dividing line here in the book of Ephesians, and this is why this verse gets used for our summary this morning, summarizing what it is that we have looked at thus far.

The first three chapters of Ephesians are what we call orthodoxy, and the next three chapters of Ephesians are what we call orthopraxy. The first three chapters are right theological doctrine and teaching, and then the next three chapters is how we put that teaching into practice.

It's still teaching and it's still doctrine, certainly, but it's calling for action and it's calling for response. It's Paul's exhortation. The rest of Ephesians is going to be exhortation in light of the gospel that we have been given, in light of the calling to which we have been called.

Understanding that we were dead in the trespasses and sins in which we once walked, following the course of this world, the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience, still going on in the world around us, but we once lived among them in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath like the rest of mankind.

That's what Paul wrote in Ephesians 2, 1 through 3, reminding the Ephesians what they have come from and what they have been called to. And the calling that we have received, the salvation that we have been given, is not by any work that we have done, but it has been the work of God and it has been that work from ages past, from before the foundation of the world, as we read in Ephesians 1.

But God, being rich in mercy because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ, by grace you have been saved, and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ.

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

And that's where Paul is taking the Ephesians next, talking about those good works that they should walk in, and that's what's laid out for us in chapters 4, 5, and 6. It's not just Paul writing to the Ephesians, but it is the Spirit of God speaking to us even now.

If you have repented of sin, if you are walking in the love of Christ, what should that look like? What will that look like in your life as a believer? Now, as we have gone through this together, I have had the task of whenever I've been preaching in that Orthodox section in the first three chapters, I have to apply the exhortation or the application of this text before we get to chapters 4, 5, and 6.

But understand that when these letters were being read in the churches, they were read all at once. So Ephesians is something like 3 ,500 words, something to that degree. That takes you, you know, about half an hour, a little under half an hour to go through it word for word from beginning to end.

So this letter would have been read out loud to the entire congregation, and the application is there in the second half. So we've had, as we work through this, to read through those bits and pieces and then bring that application over.

So now as we go into the application in chapters 4, 5, and 6, we're going to be bringing the orthodoxy with us. The right teaching that we have been looking at in the first half of the letter, we must not forget as we go into then the commands that have been given to us as Christians.

Because if we forget the first half, here's what inevitably could happen to us, ladies and gentlemen, we start reading chapters 4, 5, and 6 as law, not in light of the gospel. And as we know, according to Romans chapter 8, law does not save, law kills.

And so what we are reading as exhortation in chapters 4, 5, and 6, when we read husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, when we read wives submit to your husbands, when we read children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right, when we read those things as they arise, we're not feeling burdened by law, but rather we understand we've been set free from the gospel, not set free by the gospel, I'm sorry, not been set free from the gospel, by the gospel we have been set free.

Those bonds, those chains of slavery to sin and the passions of our flesh, they have been.

Broken.

They have been done away with, the dividing wall of hostility, no longer there. So even as we receive here the instruction to be unified with one another, this is not in law, but this is in love. This is in light of the gospel, it is not opposed to the gospel.

We've been set free in the gospel of Jesus Christ to worship him and be able to do so in a manner that is worthy and pleasing to God. So we follow these instructions in light of the gospel because we have been changed by the gospel, because it is our desire to do so, not because we feel burdened to do so.

So as Paul once again draws attention to the Ephesians of his state as a prisoner for the Lord, we remember that he has been put in chains because he had gone out preaching the gospel, and because he had been persecuted for what he was preaching.

And yet as he calls them to joy and the love of God, remember that this comes from the life of a man who was writing that from imprisonment and still calling us to have joy in Christ Jesus. I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.

Even though Paul had been arrested and thrown in prison, it did not change his zeal for the gospel. He's not writing to churches going, guys, boy, I messed up on this. Look, I got persecuted, I didn't see that coming, I didn't expect that this was going to be the case.

I didn't know I was going to have to walk through trials. So you know what, you're better off not following this thing. No, even in prison he is all the more charged to encourage the churches to remember the gospel of Christ by which they have been called.

Called out of this world, called out of their sin, called to God's heavenly kingdom and to walk in his righteousness. Walk in that manner of righteousness, worthy of the calling to which you have been called.

As Peter talks about this in 2 Peter 1, he says to confirm your calling and election. Peter says this in a very similar way here, walking according to the calling that you have received, but he says it this way.

This is 2 Peter 1, starting in verse 5. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.

For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. This is confirming our calling and election. You confirm that you have been called in the gospel when you seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.

As Jesus instructed in Matthew chapter 6. We continue on here in Ephesians chapter 4. So we've done basically our summary, we're bringing the first half of Ephesians into the second half, and as we continue forward, we'll remember the gospel as we go.

Unity in Humility, Gentleness, and Patience

Verse 2, we walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which we have been called with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, just as we read from Peter just now in 2 Peter chapter 1, eager to maintain the unity of the spirit of the bond of peace.

Understand that instruction that we have there, and once again, understanding this instruction not as a standalone law, but in light of the gospel that we have received. We must be eager, we must desire, it must be the effort and the ambition of our heart to maintain unity in the body of Christ, of the spirit that we have been called in the bond of peace.

We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, therefore, my brothers and sisters in the Lord, we must have peace and be at peace with one another. We must be eager to maintain unity. How many of you believe that love is something you've got to work on?

Say amen.

Amen.

Right? You can't just expect that it's just automatically going to work for you. My friends, we're too weak for that. Our flesh is too limited for that. To just think and expect, ah, things will, you know, they'll work themselves out.

Love is effort, and love is hard work, and we're not supposed to do that work in and of our own strength, because as I said, we're too weak for that. We're to do this according to the strength that has been given to us in Christ Jesus, striving for love and for unity and eager to maintain it.

Eager to maintain it means that there will be times when someone has done you wrong and you must let it go. That's part of an eagerness to maintain unity in the spirit of the bond of peace. You might think that you are demanding justice, and you might think that your pounding on the table is doing something godly, but in reality, you may be causing division and doing quite the contrary of what we've been called to in the spirit.

Here's what we've been told in Colossians 3, verse 12. Put on then as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another. And if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other.

As the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.

There's that word called again, called together in one body. And be thankful. It's really hard to be mad at a person you're thankful for. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Have we not been doing that this morning? And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. There are some times when we may not get the thing that we want on this side of heaven.

But we must have humility in bearing with one another. And knowing that God is just and God knows all. And sometimes we need to have the humility just to recognize we might be mistaken. We might be the ones that are mistaken.

Have you, before you have confronted somebody in a situation that you feel you've been treated unfairly or unjustly, have you first examined that you might be the one that's wrong? And if not, then can you say that you understand Paul's instruction in Ephesians 4, 2, that you must walk with all humility, with all gentleness and patience?

What's the first word that we have describing love in 1 Corinthians 13, verse 4? Love is patient. We are patient with one another. Bearing with one another in love, exactly as Paul said it in Colossians 3.

And we are eager to maintain unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. It is a unity that has already been purchased by Christ. He's already died and bought and paid for it. We must therefore walk in it.

If we're striving to accomplish that unity, well then we're going about it all wrong. Because the unity's already been accomplished. It's been accomplished in Christ. What's the instruction say here for us?

What does it say? That you must accomplish unity? Go be unified. Unify yourselves. That's not what it says. The unity has already been purchased in Christ. We just read that in chapter 3. The dividing wall of hostility has been broken down.

We who are far off have been called near through the blood of Christ. We've been brought near. So therefore, what are we supposed to do? Unity has been purchased by Christ, so we must be eager to maintain it.

We must walk in it. Demonstrate that the unity of Christ is in your heart. When you are eager to maintain it with your brothers and sisters in the Lord. My friends, this starts at home. This starts in your marriage.

You can't wake up in the morning and decide, well I've done all the work that I need to do to manage my marriage. It's now on my spouse. That's not going to work between Becky and me. Can't wake up one day and say, I've done all the work all week long.

Monday through Friday I've done all this work. Saturday it's her job. Now she must be the one to maintain unity in our marriage today. Doesn't work like that. As a matter of fact, scripture is very clear that we must die to ourselves.

Philippians chapter 2, consider others' needs ahead of your own. And that begins in your own home. We should certainly have that within the body of Christ. But how are you practicing this at home with members of your own family?

Demonstrating love and charity, patience with each other, humility. And my fellow parents, yes, we even have to show humility and gentleness and patience with our kids. Yes, we even have to be humble before our children.

I remember just about a year and a half ago, I don't think this was the last trip that I made to Atlanta for the G3 conference, but a year and a half ago, Todd Friel was speaking and he was doing a seminar on parenting.

And one of the things that he said was, in challenging the parents in the room, he says, go home and sit down with your kids and ask your children, what's daddy doing wrong? What could I do better? Boy, that killed me.

I started weeping there in my chair and then went up to Todd later afterward and I said to him, man, that statement you made, that's the one thing I'm going to take from this conference over everything else.

I'm going to remember that. The humility that I even have to have before my own children. And Todd, in his busyness and talking to as many people as he does, he just slapped me on the back and said, well, good luck with that.

And then he walked away. I was like, oh, thanks. No, he was much more kind than that. It was much more gentle in his admonition. But we must even be humble with our children, for we're teaching them to be humble and gentle and patient.

If you don't have children at home, but maybe you work in a Juana or in our Sunday school program here at church, or maybe you're a teacher and you work with children at school, even in those places, in those avenues, you must demonstrate a humbleness, a gentleness, and a patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain unity in the spirit of the bond of peace.

One Body, One Spirit, and Unity Across the Church

There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.

That's our next section and where we turn now to the reliance that we are to have on God. Again, to maintain this unity, it's not dependent upon our strength, but the strength of God. As I quoted to you last week, even from 2 Corinthians 12, the Apostle Paul saying before the Lord God, take this from me, three times pleading with the tormentor, the thorn in his flesh, to be taken from him.

And the Lord Jesus Christ replied, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness. And Paul saying, therefore, I'm going to boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, for where I am weak, he is strong.

So it's in Christ Jesus that these things are perfected, that we are therefore eager to maintain unity according to the strength that is in Christ, not the strength that is in ourselves. There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, one Lord, one faith, one baptism.

Now, in some of these things, we even start to kind of get outside our own body. First Southern Baptist Church of Junction City, we even get outside of that a little bit. There are Christians here in this community that think of certain doctrines differently than we do.

But they keep those core doctrines of the gospel to which they have been called. Understanding Christ Jesus is Lord, who died on the cross for our sins, rose again from the grave, rose bodily from the grave, mind you, ascended into heaven where he is seated at the right hand of the throne of God, interceding for us, his people, all who call upon the name of the Lord.

And he is coming back again someday to judge the living and the dead. Now, there are some specifics about those doctrines that we might differ on as we kind of delve out from there. But we have those core doctrines in common.

And it's those things that unify us as believers, though we might be part of different denominations, right? So we read here about being one body and one spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call.

We may be in different buildings. There may be different names on the sides of those buildings. But we still have unity with other brothers and sisters in the Lord because there's one spirit. There's only one baptism.

There's only one faith.

There is one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. And in the practice of worship, we may disagree on how the administration of these things is supposed to be done. And that's really what separates the denominations.

But may we all be unified together in understanding those core truths. Of course, there are denominations that don't even hold to the core truths. We call them heretics. If they teach something that would actually lead someone to damnation rather than salvation, then we would call that heresy.

We must be mindful of those things as well, and Paul will even warn of those things as we get further into our study of chapters 4 and 5. But in the meantime, understanding a unity that exists between members of your own household, the oneness that you have in Christ, members of your own church, one spirit, one faith, one baptism, and even members that you have of other churches in this community, in this state, country, and even around the globe.

We hear a lot these days about what's called critical race theory, social justice, social reform, some of the terms that get used, intersectionality, microaggression, some of the words that end up getting used associated with this as well.

And no longer are you allowed to say that we're supposed to be colorblind, like we're not supposed to look at one another and see color. Actually, it's changed now. You are supposed to identify color, and you're supposed to recognize and bring favor upon a person because of the color of their skin or because of their background.

When we were in Ephesians chapter 3 and we were talking about this, I mentioned that race is completely arbitrary. Like, at what point does a person's shade of their skin pass from one shade into another, and they now become that race instead of another race?

It's a totally arbitrary thing. And unfortunately, the way that our culture is kind of working through this right now, you don't get to pick your tribe. Someone picks your tribe for you. They say you're part of this constituency, and so they stick you in that group.

And therefore, boom, you're labeled. You can't do anything about it. But we must understand that though the world is going to be pressing these kinds of labels on us and are going to try to move us into these respective categories, some of you might feel like you're in a certain category because of your age.

Either you're too young or you're too old. Either it's because of a certain nationality or background, whatever it might be. People try to categorize and stick you in respective groups because it's easier for them to manage their worldview that way.

Even though that's the way that the world is going to work and going to operate, we cannot treat one another like that. We must look around this body of saints, and we must not see different races, different ages, even male or female, according to what the Apostle Paul says in Galatians 3, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

We are fellow recipients of the kingdom of God. We are one in the Spirit and one in the Lord. As we sing in the old hymn, they'll know that we are Christians by our love. There is one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.

My friends, you can think that you're part of a particular tribe. I'm not saying those things are necessarily bad. It's part of your heritage. It's good to explore those things and find out where you came from and your family lineage and so on and so forth, but when it comes to the eternal perspective, that doesn't matter.

When it comes to the eternal perspective, who you are and the heritage that you came from matters only in this way, that God chose before the foundation of the world where you would be so that you would hear the gospel and believe it.

Paul even said that in his sermon at the Areopagus in Acts chapter 17. So the people that you are descended from, your family heritage, your lineage, the place on the globe where you were born, raised, grew up, even where you live right now, all of these things God has appointed and he has set our boundaries that we cannot pass so that we might hear of him and know him and draw near him and follow in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

That's why you've been placed where you are. And now, wherever you are, you walk in a manner worthy of that calling to which you have been called. Verse 7, so we've talked about the oneness and the unity that we have in the Spirit, but then notice in verse 7, Paul begins with but.

But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift. So though we are unified, there are respective individual callings that God has for each and every one of us and we'll talk about that next week when we get into verse 11.

So unfortunately, that's not for this week. But just to say that Paul singles out, you've been called to oneness in the Spirit, but God does apportion grace respectively. It's talked about also in Romans 12, 3.

According to the measure of Christ's gift because he's going to have a calling for each and every one of us. Just to give you a very brief example in this, I have been called to be a pastor. Pastor Dwight has been called to be a pastor.

Dave has been called to be an elder. You have not. Yet, maybe some of you will be called to that someday. We have deacons here that have been called to be deacons. We have servants in Awana that have been called to be teachers in children's ministry.

Some of you have been called to be teachers or doctors or serve in the military or any of these respective careers and jobs that you have and wherever you serve in those jobs, you take the grace of the Lord Christ with you and you extend that grace to others.