Tape 2 - Christian Reflections from the Jewish Family

Shalom Bayit and the Meaning of a Peaceful Home

And bayit means home. Shalom bayit, a peaceful home. How to have a peaceful home? Now listen carefully. Don't think that you have a peaceful home because you don't beat your wife. Don't think that you have a peaceful home because, you know, I'm not violent, I'm not hostile.

A peaceful home goes far beyond that. Far beyond that. A person, they say, who is only friendly with strangers has never passed the test of peace. Because by being friendly with a stranger, he can be motivated by praise or self-interest.

True peace, true shalom, is to be found where people differ in fundamental aspects. That's where you find true peace. When the behavior patterns are different, when their aspirations are different, when their desires are different, and where the love that a man has for his wife, wife has for the husband, young people have for their parents, and parents have for their, watch it, where that love is not totally pure.

Where it's a love that sometimes doesn't express itself like it wants to. And anger is constantly pressing for expression. That is the true test, according to the Jewish sages, of peace. Shalom. Whenever things are different.

See, it's easy for you and me to be at peace with one another here tonight. But when you go home, and you've got to sit down with husband and wife and young people, and you've heard it said, you have a husband and you have a wife.

Husband, wife. The husband's got to get along with the wife. But the wife's got to get along with the husband. Now you've got a son. That son's got to get along with the wife. That son's got to get along with the husband.

That husband's got to get along with the wife. And he's got to get along with the son. The wife's got to get along with the son, and got to get along with the husband. Now you've got a daughter. A daughter's got to get along with the son, daughter's got to get along with the wife, daughter's got to get along with the husband.

Wife's got to get along with the son, wife's got to get along with the daughter, wife's got to get along with the husband. Husband's got to get along with the wife. Now you bring in-laws in there. Dear people, is it any wonder there are tensions in the home?

I'm not surprised there ought to be. There have to be. There have to be. But there can be peace. There can be peace in a home. And it can be a sweet peace. And you don't have to give up your personality.

No one has to give up their personality. No one has to throw away who they are. No one has to be crushed. No one has to be demolished. No one has to be forced down. No one has to be in a point where they can't express themselves.

I believe that a teenager, I believe that a nine year old boy, I personally believe that a 10 year old girl, I believe that an eight or nine year old ought to have some freedom of expression in the home.

Or a man will say, Dad, I don't understand why you do that.

Mom, why do you do that that way? I don't understand that. And I don't believe that's right.

I saw a young father. He has four children, teenagers. And he was correcting one of them. And he just noticed a little look of disdain on his 18 year old daughter. And he turned to her and looked at her and he said, Jennifer, do you think dad's unfair about that?

She said, yes, dad, I sure do. He said, would you express that to me? And she shared it with him. He said, you know, I didn't think about that. And he said, son, will you accept dad's apology? Will you forgive dad for that?

He said, I corrected you in anger. I should not have done that. And he said, you and I will talk about this later. And it just went on. I thought, man, that's interesting to me. That's strange people do that kind of stuff.

I mean, that's godly. Man, that's Christian. That's loving. That's giving. That's understanding. That's discernment. That's all those things that we talk about, but they put it in practice. I said, why can't we all do that?

It takes effort, doesn't it? And it takes time to have a peaceful home. A person who truly loves peace pursues that peace in the home. A person who truly loves it knows two things. They know the obstacles that will stand in the way, and they know how to solve the obstacles.

Most of the questions that are asked me, and I'll promise you if you'll ask your pastor, I would suggest to you that most likely he will say that most of the questions that are asked him about problems and difficulties in the family are just simply this.

It is not what the obstacle is. Everybody knows what the problem is, but how can I solve this problem? And yet, I will assure you that there's no one sitting here right tonight who doesn't already know enough to have a successful family.

We already, we are constantly learning, but never able to come to the, listen, dear people, if you'll just put in practice what you already know about your Lord and about his love for you and your love for the Bible and what the Bible says, if you just put that in practice, listen, you will take giant strides in the growth of your family and with your relationships.

There is no secret formula. No one has a magic key. It takes time, it takes effort, and it takes discipline to do it. And anybody tells you they can give you a secret formula, and if you'll follow these nine steps, or if you go through this conference, or if you'll go through this program, it'll solve and it'll do and all those, my dear people, it never has happened.

It didn't happen in the lives of the apostles. It never happened in the lives of the great Christian men and women who affected this world for Christianity unlike anybody else has. They all took time and they took effort.

Now, I'm not saying it takes you 50 years, but it does take time, it does take effort. It takes some people longer than it does others, but God takes you where you are, and God works with us where we are, and he takes us with what we've got to work with.

And I quit asking myself, well, did you do what you ought to do? Did you do what you ought to have done? Because I found out most time I could never say yes, and I was getting discouraged. So I just quit asking myself, did I do what I ought to do?

What I've learned to ask myself is, did I do the best that I could do at that time with what I knew to do with? And I found out many times I say, now, if I could do it again, I wouldn't do it that way, I'd do it different, but at that time, I did the best that I could with what I knew, and with where I was, and with what I had to do with.

And that's all God wants, is to be faithful with what he's given me. Use that which you have, and my dear sweet people, God will never give us more light until we obey the light we already have. He just does.

Peaceful home. Well, let me bring it to a close for this evening. You're so patient. A person who loves peace will understand the obstacles that stand in the way of that peace, and how to overcome them.

And it is extremely difficult to keep peace everywhere, but I am convinced that the most difficult place on this earth to keep peace is in the home. It is the most difficult place that I have ever known anything about.

You can keep peace on the job, you can keep peace in school, you can keep peace in the office, you can keep peace everywhere, but the conflicts that arise in the home, my dear people, it is very difficult to keep peace.

And so the Jewish people say, what is the gain from quarreling? You correct one small fault, and you replace it with a greater one. Nothing is more hateful to God, they say, and nothing is more harmful to God's people than strife.

Pride bringeth forth contention, the scripture tells us. And any time a husband's arguing with his wife, a wife's arguing with her husband, pride has reared up in one of the two. Any time young people argue with their parents, or parents are arguing with their young people, doesn't make any difference which way to go, it is pride that's reared up.

If there's an argument going on, I'm not talking about a disagreement, I'm not talking about understanding and trying to explain something, I'm talking about an argument, and you know the difference. And I think they've latched on to something.

A man who will sacrifice peace to some other goal, no matter how important, for the most part, ends up by accomplishing nothing except to make his home a flaming inferno. He will have turned it into a scene of contention among all the members of the household, himself included, caught up in the flames, and once the flame of controversy is lit in a home, it will keep burning and burning and burning and burning, and it's extremely difficult to quench it, to extinguish it, once that controversy has lit.

And so I want to pick up tomorrow and talk about some of the causes of dissension, how to escape the dissension, about what God means when he says look at yourself, and the reactions, and then go back in and look at the books that were opened at birth, and to look at the lights that were lit whenever you were married.

There are basically two lights that were lighted whenever you were married, and there are two books that are open when you were born, according to Jewish law and according to Jewish culture, and they both put practical handles on things that you and I can do, and I promise you, if you be here tomorrow, and especially Wednesday, don't miss Wednesday.

I got a goodie, Wednesday. Don't miss Wednesday. One of the things that I deal with and you deal with, and it's something that it just comes out of nowhere, and it's something none of us want, and yet it is there all the time, and I want us to look at what the scripture actually says about dealing with that subject, and I believe it'll put some handles, and I think that you'll rejoice when you see it.

I know you're already working on it, and so be with that. When you leave, if you haven't signed up for our free magazine, would you please just stop by the table and sign your name and address and get the free Jewish magazine.

Remember Romans 116. For I'm not ashamed of the gospel of Christ. It's the power of God and salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first, but also to the Gentile. It's the power of God. So you need to know what's going on amongst Jewish people.

The magazine's free. It's a freebie. I mean, you'd want something free, wouldn't you? Say yes. Well, you look like we're in the mortuary now. The cowboys have already lost, so they're, you know, we ought to be rejoicing today.

It's a new day. They got their Redskins coming in Sunday, and they don't score many points. They sure did, didn't they? What was it, 33 or 38 to nothing? How much? 30 to nothing? Oh, I lost $100. No, I don't believe that.

Oh, listen, thank you for coming. I appreciate you so much. You don't know what being in your presence does for someone like me. I'm everywhere, and I go all the time, and you know I go into churches, but I come to you with one desire, and that's to be a part of your life and share something, hopefully, that'll be helpful to you.

I work on the same things, but you know, I never come to this church, and it has been the highlight of my year other than going to Israel. That's the highlight of my life, other than being home, so let it be number three.

Other than being home, being in Israel, but I want you to know that you minister to my life, your pastor, your staff, and you as a people, just by what I know God's doing with you, and as I listen, as I sit in the office, and I watch people come and go or listen to what's going on, and I just observe without being nosy or anything, listen to you and see what God's doing in your life here in Denison.

If Jesus tarries and doesn't come, you have a glorious future in the Lord. You really and truly do. It's exciting to me, and as I drove up the highway, I was sharing with your pastor a day at lunch. I drove up the highway, I just thought, you know what a joy, and I don't wanna move or anything, but it would just be a joy.

I just wish it was closer so I could be a member of your church. I would just love to be here, not to give any money or anything. I just like to be here and watch. I just wanna be here and watch what God does in your life, but you have some great couples in your church.

You have some great senior citizens, if you call them that, and you have some great young people, and it's exciting, and I sense, you may not because you know you're in the middle of the forest, but when someone stands out and looks at the forest, sometimes you can see it, and I sense not only warmth and unity and love, but I also sense anticipation, and that's so important to me, to sense that you're expecting something to happen in the life of yourself and your church, and I don't know what it is, and I don't know when you'll build your building or what.

That's in the hands of God with you, but I just pray and thank God for you. I thank God for this church. I thank God for the impact. Now, let me just close with this remark, and your pastor will come and close this.

Just remember this and spread it about. The more God blesses your church, and the more he does for you, the more opposition you're gonna get. Satan is gonna come against you. He is not going to allow this church to have an impact on this community like I believe God wants it to, and it is having, and it's growing all the time, but Satan's gonna come against you, and so be aware that there's an enemy out there, and any opposition that comes against you when you're being faithful to the Lord, God will overcome.

God will overcome, and we are, at the heart, deceitfully and desperately wicked, but in it all, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us and gave himself for us, and greater is he that is in you than he that's in this world.

Do not fear man or the spirit world. Just walk with God, and he'll bless you for it. Pastor, if you'll come and dismiss us. It's good. Well, we could, you know, started mentioning these ball games and things like that.

My mind gets to rolling, you know, and gets to thinking about it. Isn't it interesting, the temporal values of life? You know, I mean, I like sports, don't you? I mean, some of, well, you don't have to, you know, and you can get to heaven without it.

It's not a prerequisite for serving the Lord, but it's one of those activities of life that seem to attract a lot of people, and you know, in college, I enjoyed it, and enjoyed it before, and enjoyed it after, and I enjoy it now.

It's just the thing about when you think about it, everybody, you know, they'll give up things of the Lord, or give up that which might help them in their lives, whether it's what I'm doing or what you're doing.

Just being around Christian people, if my church wanted to meet, and it really made a difference to me, I want to meet with them. I mean, I want to be there. Number one is I want to find out what they're talking about.

So we had a business meeting that I don't know how to vote, you see. I don't want somebody telling me, well, this is what they did, see, because then it's hearsay, and it's not admissible in the court of law, and so I want to know the facts about what's going on around me, and then I like to be around Christian people, and I promise you that if the Lord doesn't come next year, they have another playoff.

There'll be another one next year, and there'll be another one next year until the Lord comes, and the amazing thing is, most of those playing in those playoffs won't be there. They won't be in heaven.

They'll be still hanging around Astrodome, or still be hanging around Angel Stadium, or they'll be hanging around Shea Stadium, or they'll be hanging around Fenway Park, still wondering what happened, what happened, and there'll be more people watching those things, and it's amazing, and in most of those homes, I won't say most, but a great number of those homes, and certainly statistics tell us the majority of them need all the help they can get.

They need all the help they can get, and so many of them, ballplayers, all alike. You know, some go to voodoo doctors to get their backs healed, and others go to this, that, and the other, and all those things, but I'm glad you're here, because then if you weren't, just me and the pastor, and he wouldn't give up the pulpit that quick, it was just he and I, you see, and so I'm delighted that you're here, and we're talking about Shalom Bayit, right?

Yes, I came walking down the aisle and saw a couple of these ladies' notes, and they got more notes than I got, and so I thought I'd borrow their notes and bring it up here to share with you what they wrote, and, but Shalom Bayit means what?

Peaceful home, Hebrew for peaceful home, a home of peace, peaceful home. We're talking about a peaceful home, and we just talked briefly about it, just introduced it somewhat last evening, about some prerequisites for it, and then we talked about dissension, and dissension in that home, that which disrupts the home, and we talked about how a wise man, a wise person will understand the obstacles that will appear in that home to stop it from being, or cause it not to be a peaceful home, and not only will he recognize the obstacles that come into the way, but also he will recognize, or find the solutions for those obstacles, something that will erase or eradicate those particular obstacles, and we talked about last evening briefly about no matter what sacrifices a man makes for a goal, no matter how important that goal is, if he reaches that goal to the sacrifice of peace in his home, he has lost essentially everything.

It will have no real lasting value for him, and he has given up that which is most important to him, and he brings contention into that home, and we talked about how the flame of controversy, it is amazing, even in Christian homes, once that controversy begins in a home, it's extremely difficult to extinguish it, or to get it to stop.

You could even say I forgive you, and I forgive you, and we just kind of go through those little motions, but still that controversy goes on, and I thought we'd just start tonight by looking at some basic causes of dissension in the peaceful home, that which prevents it from becoming a peaceful home.

Now men have the right idea, they just don't have the right methods sometimes. In this sense, man naturally considers himself to be the master of his home. Now we know what the scripture talks about that, and we're gonna talk about some more tomorrow evening specifics, and then Thursday specifically about the man and his role, and the wife and the role, and the family, and the children responses, and what the scripture in the New Testament actually tells us about that.

But even lost people, people who are not Christians, have the right idea because God seemingly has put in the life of every man that desire, that need, that pull, that compulsion to be the master of his home.

By master, I mean one who cares for it, not a dictator, not some tyrannical leader, but he has that need, and he has that desire, and men want the respectful attention of all members of their household, they want the respectful attention of every member of their house to their needs, whether they express those needs or not.

Whether the man lets them know what his needs are, it doesn't matter, whether the wife and the children know what he needs or doesn't need, it makes no difference to him, he wants them to respect it whether they know what they are or not.

Somehow or other, automatically, they ought to do so because he is the master of the home, he's the lord of the house, and sometimes explanation is needed. Now the wife, we've said, is the queen of the home.

She is the queen in Jewish life of beauty, she is the queen of love, and she is the queen of compassion. Man has royalty sitting on his head in the Jewish home. In the Jewish home, he is the king, and royalty is his primary factor that is promoting or pushing towards bringing their home into a peaceful coexistence, so to speak, in what we call Shalom Bayit.

And any person who alters that order does so at the dire consequences of peace in that home. And one of the biggest problems in our society is because of economic difficulties and economic pressures. Not only does the husband have to work, but the wife has to work today.

And not only does husband and wife work today, but the children, many times, young people have to go out and get a job. And would it be possible, even a dog would carry a paper out at times if they could do so because of the economic pressures that are upon the family.

And so consequently, because of these varying pressures, many times, men relinquish their responsibility of being the master of the home, and they turn it over to the wife, and she has to do almost everything.

She takes care of all the finances, she pays all the bills, she handles all the banking, she handles all the postal, she handles everything, and the man goes to work out of the job, he comes back, she may go to her work and come back, but she has all these additional responsibilities because he is the master of the home and he has other things on his mind.

Now, man's need to be the lord of his home, to be the head of his home, or to be the master of his household can be a tremendous threat to Shalom Bayit or to the peaceful home. The very fact that God has given him this need to be the head of his home can be a threat in that home, especially if members of the household, by their behavior, do one, two, or three things.

Their lack of concern towards his desires or wishes. Their lack of desires towards these things as him being the head of the family, not whether he is right or wrong. For example, if members of the family, you and I know, just go so far as to just openly, blatantly disobey anything that the father says, anything that the husband says, they'll make it as what he says, they're gonna disobey it.

They're gonna go against him no matter what he says. They will find a way because, and young people are very adept at this, aren't they? Now, young people understand what I'm saying. They'll go and they'll ask dad something and dad says, no, you can't do this, and so they'll go to a tenderhearted mother and they'll say, mom, is it okay if I go and so and so because I'm gonna be real careful about this?

And she'll say, well, I don't see anything wrong with that. Go ahead, and then all of a sudden, he'll go out the door and dad says, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, where you going? Well, mom said we could go, but I just told you a few minutes ago, and so he goes in and says, why did you tell?

She said, I didn't know, they didn't tell me you told them what they did, and so they know how to play those little games and the next thing you know, there it is, that inferno. It is raging in their home, and so consequently, they just go so far as to disobey what he desires or wishes, and many wives do the same, or if they spite him, just deliberately spite the husband.

The father, I can name you wives and young people that literally hate the father and the husband. Now, whether he is right or wrong, whether he's spiritual or non-spiritual, whether he is godly or not godly, no woman, no child has the right to spite that husband, that father.

It is wrong, wrong, wrong, no matter what he does. He may be a murderer, he may be a drug pusher, he may be anything, but it is wrong to have spite because spite is resentment, and resentment is hatred, and hatred is wrong.

I may not like what he's doing, I may totally disagree with it, and it may be totally alien to the lifestyle God wants me to live, but as far as his world, spite and hatred have no part in the life of a believer.

None whatsoever. Sometimes I think we get confused as to resenting an act or an act which a lifestyle is and the individual. We may hate what a person does, but you have to love that individual. You have to love them no matter what they say and no matter what they do.

Jesus loved sinners.

Jesus loved people, and you and I have to learn to discern the difference. The problem is sometimes we don't like people when actually what we're trying to say is we don't like what they do. We don't like what they do, but it carries over.

And then also, if the family members, if they just completely ignore his wishes as if he were nonexistent, they listen to what he says, they pay attention to what he says for a while, and then they just don't pay any attention as he wants them to, and so what does he do?

Here comes the father, and he begins to impose his will. He begins to impose his will. He says, I am the head of the home. I am the master of this house, and you will now do what I say. I've asked you to do it.

Now you don't want to do it. Now you are going to do what I say whether you like it or not. And that horse goes to the water, and that head goes down in the water, and that horse will either drink or drown, one of the two.

Now what happens? That house, that home, is now in a state of war. A state of war exists. It goes like you heard the story of the teenage boy that he's dead, but saying something to him is very harsh, and the young boy stood up, and he said, you sit down and don't you say a word.

And so the young boy sat down, and the mother came along, and she said, you know, boy, I just really admired you. I don't understand. That's the first time you've ever done that. You just were sitting there, and you were just as quiet, and you weren't saying anything.

He said, yeah, Mom, but you don't understand. In my heart, I was standing up, and I was screaming. And that's sort of the way it is. That's sort of the way it is. Outwardly, we will conform, but what is happening in a home such as that?

Whoever wins that war, both parties lose. Whoever wins that war, both parties lose. If they win the war, if they, as opposed to him, if they win it, the home loses its dignity. A home has lost its dignity anytime the man is not the respected leader of that home.

That home has already lost its dignity. It's lost its dignity in the community. It's lost its dignity in the church. You know what we say? We say, boy, she runs that house. She runs and wants him. You don't know.

Don't even ask him to do anything, because he can't do anything unless she clears him. He can't do anything unless she says so. And we call him henpecked. We have little phrases we use, whatever that is.

I'd never have figured that out. I mean, I've been around chicken farms. I've been up in Arkansas with them by the hundreds of thousands. I've never seen any guy up there with pecks on his head. I've never seen no such thing.

They live with them. They hang out in there. You know, I don't know where that came from. I think I do. I've seen how the roosters and hens act and stuff like that, you know, but if that hen does what that rooster says, he don't peck them.

He only pecks them when they get out of order, you know? And this is the way it applies in there. Now, what happens if he succeeds? If that man succeeds in posing his mastery over that family when they are not willing to submit to that, what he has done is he has gained his loyalty.

He has gained his power. He's gained his position, but he's lost his kingdom. He's lost his kingdom because that respect is not there. Now, if neither side triumphs and the war continues, then you have a flaming inferno.

Instead of that home being a little heaven on earth, it becomes a little hell on earth, and people don't like to go to it. And you know that's why a lot of young people love to come to church. Sorry to say, may not be the right motive all the time, but every time the church doors open, I can name you young people in our city and in our church.

I can name you young people. They just can't wait. Sometimes elders go down there early. Why? Because they just want to get out of that house. They want to get away from all of that. It just beats their brains, and they just don't want to be around it.

I can name you wives that work late. I can tell you husbands that work late when they don't have to work late, but they'd rather be down there than come home and listen to all of that because they know that war is raging within that household.

So what happens? Man, under normal circumstances, according to scripture, and I'm not talking about where a wife works. It's a whole thing. Wife works, doesn't work. That's not what I'm talking about.

But under the initial situation, when the man works outside the home and the woman works inside the home. Under those normal conditions, the man goes out, for example, and he's out there all day, and he's active.

He's talking, he's busy. It's sort of a tension-charged atmosphere. He's dealing with people all day long, and he just can't wait till he can get in his car and he can get home, and he can just sit down and just sit there and maybe give him a glass of tea, a cup of coffee, coke, and he just kicks his shoes off, and then he can just take a sigh of relief and just lay back on that couch, and it is total silence.

However, that wife has been working all day and at home, but she's been working alone, alone. And she can't just wait until that husband gets home, and the kids haven't gotten home from school yet, and he's going to get home, and he's going to roll in, and she just can't wait to sit down and talk with him about the things that have been going on in her mind and her life that day.

And so what happens? Here they come, and he rolls in the house, and she greets him, and here they are, and they're sitting there, and he doesn't want to talk, and she doesn't want to be quiet, and the next thing you know, you have an argument.

Without even understanding why, without even realizing, later on, they'll say, how did that start? I mean, what are we really arguing about here? Well, I don't know. Well, I mean, I don't disagree with you on that.

Well, I don't disagree with you on that. Well, why are we arguing? Why are we yelling at one another? Why are we screaming at one another? Yeah, you can go into preachers' houses and find out. Now, I don't, I've been in your pastor's house, and I haven't found that.

I haven't found that. There are those, there are some of those out there that we know about where you find them, and no one's immune to it. No one's immune to it. There are not many of us that have a perfect home.

There are a few of us, you understand. But, so what happens? Man and woman, they are both disappointed, and he doesn't want to talk, and she doesn't want to be silent, and they begin to quarrel bitterly about it.

Now, how in the world can you and I, under normal circumstances, escape the basic problems that cause us dissensions? I'm going to give you the greatest key to having a peaceful home that I personally know anything about.

I think I can confirm it with scripture. I can certainly confirm it from homes. I certainly can confirm it with experience. I certainly can confirm it with those homes that you and I would both go look at, and we would respect those homes, and say, now, that is a peaceful home, and it's simply this.

The head of the household must establish self-control by gaining control over his temper. That is the number one problem in homes today, be they Christians or not. By that, I mean the man does not have control over his temperament.

Well, Rock, you don't understand. You see, I have an Irish temper. Now, what you got is a temper that is totally out of control. There is no such thing psychologically or medically or biologically as an Irish temper.

That's sort of like a nervous breakdown. That is a medical impossibility, too. That's the big umbrella, and there's no such thing. Your nerves don't break down. What a nervous breakdown is is an individual who's run out of resources, and they've run out of answers for their questions.

That's all it is, and we just call it a nervous breakdown. They don't, what do they do? They build your nerves back up whenever you go down to the therapist. They don't build your nerves back up. They don't shoot your pills to build your nerves back up.

They give you answers. If you go to the right one, they give you answers. If you got the money, I'd rather go to the pastor, let him counsel me, and save money, wouldn't you? Well, I ain't going to that preacher.

I'm going to tell you, I understand that, too. I understand how that goes. So what happens? Once the man gains control of his temper, he begins to learn discipline. Let's look at a couple passages of scripture.

Turn with me again to, and you'll see that we've been in this book a lot because it is a book of wisdom, a book of wisdom. Proverbs, one of the greatest things that I know of. I knew a youth director one time.

I said, what do you do with your young people? And he said, every year, we take a patrol through Proverbs. We just go patrolling through Proverbs, and he takes his young people. Once a year, they go through Proverbs.

It'd do good every husband to patrol through Proverbs, and every wife to patrol through Proverbs. But unless you and I just take a glance at Proverbs 15 .1, when you see it immediately, you know what it is.

It's familiar to you. Every one of you have seen this. Leading from the King James version of the scripture, a soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger. It is difficult, you know, it takes two people to argue.

And listen, say I'm standing and screaming at you all day long, and if you just stand and look at them after a while, they get tired. The thing that motivates them is when you say something back to them.

But you know, somebody just screams and starts arguing with you, and they look and say, well, aren't you gonna say anything? Just say, that's interesting. That's interesting. That's all you gotta say, is that's interesting.