God's Infinite Love - A Model for Husbands (08/27/2023)

Park Meadows Church

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Good morning, everyone. I really want to thank our praise team, and Matt, and all you guys.

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You've elevated the service for us a lot, just being up here. And we really appreciate it.

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I mean, it's tremendous. I get to hear it from both back there and up here. And it just fills the room and helps all of us sing better.

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And we appreciate it so much. Thank you for the work you do. I know sometimes you have to come up in the middle of the week and practice and different things like that.

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We really appreciate it very much. Let's have a word of prayer. We'll begin this morning with the message.

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Thank you, Lord, for this service already. Thank you for all the many prayer requests this morning and several praises.

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And we know that you're in control of all these things. And you've heard our prayers even before we prayed them, even before we asked.

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And Lord, we know that you control all these things. And we should simply rest in you.

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And thank you that you've taught us that. We ask you to bless the message now in Jesus' name.

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Amen. We've been talking about the marriage and family and specifically the husband's duties in the marriage and as both father and rearing children and so forth.

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We've talked about that from the fact that he is the great lover in the family.

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And then we talked about how God's love is the agape love that only a

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Christian husband can have. But if you remember, we talked about the dimensions of it, the breadth of that love, the heart of it, the length of that love, how strong it is.

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It's eternal in nature. The depth of that love and how profound it is and the height of it, the mind of it, the fact that that love has intellect.

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It's not just a feeling. It's also a thinking love. And we talked about all that.

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And then we kind of closed that out in Romans 8, where the apostle Paul talks about how nothing, and he names everything on this earth and everything in the heavens.

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He names everything that he created pretty much at the end of Romans 8 and says, none of that, none of that can separate us from the love of God.

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And then I asked the question a couple of Sundays ago, why do you think that it goes right from the end of Romans 8 straight into Romans 9, still talking about the love of God and yet we put that chapter there and we divide it as two different things.

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It's not, it's one thing. And I asked the question, why do we, why did God go right into the ideas that are in Romans 9 while talking about the infinite love of God?

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And that's kind of where we are, is we are in that little part of this.

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And to remind you in Romans 9, verse one, actually verse two says that I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart was pretty much the first thing

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Paul said after talking about how nothing can separate us from the love of God. And I had to ask the question, why?

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Why while he's thinking about, you cannot be separated from God's love, would he say

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I have great sorrow in my heart? And I think that's an important question. Why did he ask that question?

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And he went on to say he would be willing to lose his eternal security if God would save all his brothers, the

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Jews, but he knows God won't because they're not all truly

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Israelites. Paul went on to say in that little passage in verse seven, he said, neither because they are of the seed of Abraham are they all children, but in Isaac shall thy seed be called.

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And we were talking about that. And then there's more information in chapter nine, as you know, that's extremely controversial among theologians, but also just in churches around the country.

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Most of them will not discuss Romans chapter nine. We haven't even gotten to that part yet, but that's kind of where we are, is what is that?

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If it's true that the end of Romans chapter eight is talking about the infinite nature of God's love, what is

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Romans chapter nine talking about with regard to God's infinite love? And that's kind of the topic we're under.

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So last time, we had just kind of talked about some of that from the book of John chapter one, and that was where the

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John the Baptist said about Jesus, he said, I baptize with water, but the one that comes after me will baptize with the spirit, right?

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And so I'm just gonna drop down in that same passage a little bit in that same chapter, because it's really interesting.

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It is the part where Jesus begins to call his apostles.

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Now, remember that in the passage, we talked about a minute ago, it says that not all

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Israel is Israel, but those that are truly Israel must be called.

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You remember that? And so watch this. This is kind of beautiful when you think about it, because John the

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Baptist has just introduced Jesus as the Messiah to all of Israel. That was his ministry.

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He was the forerunner. And in chapter one, verse 36, he said, and looking upon Jesus as he walked, he said, behold, the

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Lamb of God. He introduced him as the Messiah to the Jewish people who've been looking for the Messiah since the

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Garden of Eden. Genesis 3 .15 was the first mention or allusion to the fact there would be a savior coming.

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And then it begins right there in verse 37. It says there were a couple of John the

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Baptist apostles, or disciples, you wouldn't call them apostles, sorry, disciples, followers, who were standing there when he introduced, he said, look, here is

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Jesus, the Lamb of God. And those two said, oh, should we follow him then?

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And they got it right. They felt in their hearts, they should stop following John the

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Baptist and start following this person who was the Lamb of God that they had all been taught about by John the

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Baptist and their other teachers. And so these two disciples heard him speak and they followed

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Jesus. And then Jesus turned and said to them, what seek ye?

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Don't you think that's an interesting way to witness to somebody? You know, not pray this little prayer, come from my heart and say me amen, but what are you looking for?

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We can learn so much about how to witness to people that don't know the Lord or that we think don't know, might not know the

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Lord by watching how Jesus did it. He said, well, what are you looking for? Ask questions, get them talking.

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And he says, so what are you looking for? And they said, well, where do you live? Which I think is an interesting response from them, don't you?

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Like they didn't say, oh, we're looking for eternal salvation, which is what they were looking for. Truth about that, right?

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And they just said, where do you live? Really deflecting the question, don't you think?

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And Jesus' answer was also interesting. And he said, come and see, come and see where I live.

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What do you think he means by that? Come and see who I am, right?

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They came and saw where he dwelt and abode with him that day, for it was about the 10th hour.

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And one of the two, which was John's disciple and followed Jesus at this point was

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Andrew. And guess who his brother was? Simon Peter, who was gonna become the great apostle

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Peter. One of the greatest human beings who's ever lived in the history of the world.

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His brother was one of these two that followed Jesus. So naturally he went running home and told his brother

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Simon Peter about this. He found the Lamb of God, right? So he first find of his own brother

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Simon. And he says to him, we have found the Messiah, which is being interpreted to Christ.

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And he brought Simon Peter to Jesus. And when Jesus beheld him, he said, thou art

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Simon, the son of Jonah. Now, how did he know who his father was and all this?

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He just knew, right? Thou shalt be called Cephas, which means a little stone and or a little rock.

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Who was Jesus called by scripture? The rock, right? The rock upon which everything is built.

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He said, you're gonna be a little rock, which is kind of what we all are, isn't it?

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We're all little Jesuses. We're all little Jesus Christ. And we're supposed to be doing what he would be doing if he were here.

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In verse 43, in the day following Jesus would go forth into Galilee and he finds

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Philip. So now you see Jesus going about calling his disciples.

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It's a picture of salvation. He calls all of us to be a disciple when we're saved. We have to be called.

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And he says unto Philip, follow me. That's exactly what he says to you. You may not say it in the same words.

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In fact, you won't hear an audible voice most likely. But you will sense with all your heart that your life is supposed to turn from the way you were going, where you were

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God. You made every decision about your own life. You got to decide everything about what you're gonna do.

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And you turn and you repent means to change your mind. And you change your mind about who God is. It's not you, it's

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Jesus. And you turn, you say, you know what? Wherever you go, I'm just gonna follow you because you're gonna be a way better Lord of my life than I've been.

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And when you get to that point, the Holy Spirit is the one who opened your eyes to that. And that is

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God calling you. That's Jesus calling you to follow him. And so the following day,

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Jesus would go forth into Galilee and he finds Philip and he says to him, follow me. And Philip finds

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Nathanael and says to him, we have found him of whom Moses and the law and the prophets did write.

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Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph. And Nathanael said, yeah, I'm not so sure about that.

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And so Jesus looked at Nathanael and said some things that let

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Nathanael know that Jesus knew who he was, but he couldn't figure out how Jesus knew who he was.

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Jesus shouldn't have known anything about him. He didn't know Jesus at long time for all eternity before he made anything known that this young man was gonna belong to him and even being a disciple of Jesus Christ.

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And so Nathanael said to him, well, when did you know me? How did you know anything about me?

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And Jesus answered and said to him, before Philip called thee, when you were under the fig tree,

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I saw you. And Nathanael knew there wasn't anybody there, but me and God. I was praying, he was praying under that tree.

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It was just me and God there. And this man saw me, he must be God. So Nathanael answered and said to him, rabbi, thou art the son of God.

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Just boom, just like that. So as soon as Jesus called him, he responded.

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This is how the bride does. When the groom calls the bride to himself, the bride responds and says, okay,

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I'm with you the rest of my life, the rest of all eternity. I'll follow you and I'll be with you. Thou art the son of God.

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Thou art the King of Israel. How did he know that? How did he know that, that quickly?

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The Holy Spirit revealed it to him at the same moment he called him. Jesus answered and said unto him, now

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I'm not gonna get picky about whether the Holy Spirit called him or whether Jesus called him, because the truth is until Jesus ascended back into heaven, the

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Holy Spirit was not sent yet. It was the Holy Spirit in Christ calling him. That's literally what was happening because Jesus was here on the earth.

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You understand that? But it's still the same. It's the same thing. Jesus answered and said unto him, because I said unto you,

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I saw you under the fig tree, you believe me? Thou shalt see greater things than this. I love that, don't you?

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And boy, did he ever. So now I want you to think about that fact that here's a beautiful picture of the

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Holy Spirit calling us to Christ. And now I want you to turn to John chapter 17 and start with about verse two.

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And what you would learn if you read verse one is that this entire chapter is a prayer. It is

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Jesus Christ praying. All of it, the whole chapter is

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Jesus praying. So I would ask you, do you think Jesus gets his prayers answered? What do you think?

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Yes? Did he ever have a single prayer that wasn't answered? Was it really not answered?

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Why was it answered? But why was it answered?

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But well, because, exactly. You were onto it.

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You were onto it. Because he said something he wanted, which is always good and fine for us when we pray.

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We should pray what we want. We will, because we're humans, right? We will first pray what we want.

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But during the prayer, we need to always say, nevertheless, thy will be done. And that's what Jesus said.

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And it was the father's will for him to go to the cross. So he did. So the prayer was answered. It was both not answered.

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It's a trick question. He asked to be able to avoid the cross if possible.

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Isn't that right? And that's why some of you are saying, no, it didn't get answered because God answered that no, didn't he? So it got answered.

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It just got answered no. But he also, before he finished, he said, nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done.

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And we should all have that attitude in our prayers. Always. It shows that we trust the father.

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We trust him. We don't, it doesn't have to be our way. And it's still okay because he's in control of everything.

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What a great teaching on prayer. So this is a prayer. But so, so to answer what

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I'm getting at, all of Jesus's prayers were answered and always will be. So remember, this is

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Jesus praying. Now we're gonna look at this in the context of our messages in the last couple of Sundays and today.

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And that is we're studying God's love, which is the kind of love that a Christian man has in his home for his wife first.

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If you wanna talk about priorities, it's easy in the Bible. It's very easy.

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It's God first, right? Then your spouse, then the children, then church, then your work and everything else, right?

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It goes in that order. A lot of marriages get messed up because they put the children first and then the wife or the children first and then the husband.

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It can never be that way. Those children are going to leave you. They may not go far away, hallelujah.

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But they want their place. They want their family. And by the way, kids, you don't have to be far away to have your family.

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And some of my kids have learned that. And so, but you do need your own home, right?

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And so they're going to leave. So if you put them first, when they leave, what do you have left in your marriage?

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You got a problem is what you've got because you didn't understand from the beginning before the kids were even born who was first in priority.

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It was your spouse, after God, but then your spouse. All right, so we're going to learn about the kind of love that a

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Christian man in the home must have in order for that marriage to be established upon a rock.

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And it can't just be that he has that love because we have to remember that that love is not a thing.

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Agape love is not a thing, it is a person. Who is love? God, it's

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God in the husband's life. His body has become the temple of the living

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God and God lives in that husband and that love is in there. And that's what we're talking about.

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Now, before we bring it all the way back to the home and how this fits is we have to keep examining what this love actually is and why it's so powerful.

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So let's look here. First thing we have to do is take the beautiful picture in the

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Bible of Jesus being the groom and the church. In other words, all genuinely saved people throughout all of history being the bride.

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And I'm not going to debate whether that includes Old Testament saints or not. So I won't say all history, although it might be, but I'm going to say certainly the church, which is what we're talking about here on this side of the cross is the bride of Christ.

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Now, what kind of love exists there? And if Jesus can show us how he loves us, it will show us how the husband has to love the wife.

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Are you with me? All right. So John 17, one talks about it's a prayer.

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Look at verse two, John chapter 17, verse two. As thou has given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou has given him.

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So Jesus is talking to the father. Jesus is on the earth praying. Jesus is the eternal son of God.

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The father is eternal father. And he's praying to the father and he's saying, father, you have given certain people from among all of the human race, which has fallen, all of it's fallen and lost forever.

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But you have plucked a few of them out and saved them by mercy and grace, which means they didn't deserve it.

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But by your grace, you saved them so that you could give them to me as a love gift because you know,

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I love the earth and I love humans. Now you got to go into some other scripture to see all that, but it's all there. And that's the background here.

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And look what he says. As thou has given him, means me, Jesus. He's talking about the son of man, which is

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Jesus. As you have given Jesus power over all flesh. And I think he's referring to human beings, wouldn't you think there?

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That he should give eternal life to everyone.

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Does it say that? It says to as many as God has given him.

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Do you see that that is a limited number of people? Why is it that the Baptists who walked in that truth 150 years ago and the great

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Charles Spurgeon might've been the last one who did and Baptists now disown this truth.

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And they say, Jesus died for everybody and God loves everybody. And how special does that make you be as a child of God if that's true?

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You're not special at all. But if he knew you personally before the foundation of the world and the others that come to him who played church and say, oh,

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I've done many wonderful things. I've healed people in your name. He didn't say this, I'll add this.

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This is David Mitchell preach here. I've spoken in other languages I didn't learn in your name. I have sent much money through the church in your name.

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And Jesus looks at them and says, depart from me, I never, what? You, why didn't he say depart from me, you sinned?

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He kind of did later, but I mean, it's not the first thing he said. He said, I didn't know you. So this, he is talking here in John 1, verse 2 about the people that God knows.

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Now, do you say, well, does he not know everyone? Oh, of course God's omniscient, he knows everyone. But I know,

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I don't know how many hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of children that I've met in this world, in my life of 69 years, children

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I've been, I was a teacher for years. I ran the school for years. I've known a whole lots of children, but did

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I know them in the same way that I know my kids and grandbabies? No, I loved them, but did

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I love them in the same way? Could you even compare the love that I have for my own five children and my almost, well, already 13 grandchildren?

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You can't compare the two at all. And so here we're looking at the special love that God has for the ones he knew as his children from before the world started.

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And Jesus, in fact, said, look, God's given me all power. Don't you think that implies I could say, power over all flesh?

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I could save them all if I wanted to. I mean, if he gave anybody in this room power over all flesh, don't you think you'd save them all?

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Or would you just kill them all and start over? You're one of the other. I'm not gonna give you any guesses which one

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I would be, but anyway, no, I'm kidding. So like he has the power to save them all as far as his power to save, does he not?

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But look what he says. He submits to the father's authority. And he says that he should give eternal life to as many as thou has given him.

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That is a limited, selected number. The Bible calls them the elect, the chosen ones.

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How special is that? And you say, but that's frightening because I know I didn't deserve it. That's the point.

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You didn't deserve it. You didn't know anything about it. You did not engineer it.

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You did not want it. There's none that seeketh God, not one. It was given to you as a free gift of grace, which means undeserved.

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And you'll never know why other than reading what the scripture says is that he just, because he wanted to, he picked you because he wanted you.

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Not because you were a great person. Not because you were without sin. Dave's been talking about King David in Psalm 18, right?

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And he was not perfect, was he? But can you find many personages in the

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Bible that God seemed to love more than David? It's hard to find anybody that he loved more.

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The apple of his eye, he said. So was it based on his goodness? No, it's based on God's goodness.

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That's what agape love is. It's the love comes from the lover, not the object of the love. This is the lesson here.

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So Jesus said, I'm gonna save the ones God gave me out of a enormous race of fallen people all going to hell.

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God wants to save some of them and give them to me and that's the ones I'm gonna save. Jesus said, no man comes to me unless the father draws them to me.

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And of them, I will lose nothing, but shall raise it up in the last day. This is the same group of people.

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So my point is, this love was selective. Now, this begins to give us the answer to why

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Romans chapter nine is actually part of Romans chapter eight, because there's no chapters in the New Testament. It's all the same thought about God's love.

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You might wanna review Romans chapter nine while you're at home, because it really makes an impact when you start to see that is part of God's definition of love, is that it's selective.

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The lover gets to select who he's going to love. Now I'm putting this in the masculine tense or sense, because I'm talking about the husbands, right?

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For now in marriage. And Jesus's picture is that he gets to choose who his bride will be.

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God has chosen who the bride will be. It's selective. It's not only emotional, it's intellectual.

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And that's a part of God's definition of this kind of love. Look at verse three. And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true

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God and Jesus Christ whom thou has sent. So how does any human have eternal life?

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He has to know God and Jesus. Why does it mention both? Because you can't know

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Jesus unless the father draws you and you can't know the father unless Jesus expounds him to you.

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He is the word. Verse five, drop down to verse five. And now, oh father, glorify thou me with thine own self, with the glory which

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I had with thee before the world was. So Jesus was not created, he was the creator.

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Jesus was with the father for all what we call eternity past, which is funny, because if you go back before Genesis 1 .1,

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there's no time and space and place. It's just God exists. And that's, he exists as Jesus, as the eternal son, the eternal father and the

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Holy Spirit. And he's always existed that way. I have manifest thy name into the men which thou gave me.

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So look at John 17 .6. Does the Holy Spirit enlighten all human beings to understand

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God's word? Or does the scripture say, I, Jesus, or if Jesus is ascended, then it would be the spirit of Christ, the

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Holy Spirit. They do the same duty here. I, Jesus, or the

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Holy Spirit has manifested God the father's name unto the men which you gave me.

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Not all men, do you see it? I mean, you're so fortunate if you see this because the whole world hates this doctrine and always have.

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Jesus preached it in his day and they tried to stone him that day, but they couldn't. It wasn't his time to go yet.

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And he wasn't gonna go by stoning. But they hated this doctrine. You know why? Because it puts

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God in control of even salvation. Not only does he control everything, he controls who gets saved.

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And men hate that because they think they want to control that. Why does every church, starting with the

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Roman Catholic Church, once they gave them government money, it ruined the church at Rome and it's been ruined ever since.

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And why do they fight this doctrine so strongly? Because they want to be in control of your money, your mind, your material, and everything you do.

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But they can't be, but they try to be. But God is in control. I have manifested

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God's name unto the men which you gave me out of the world. Thine they were.

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So you go back to Genesis 1 .1, right after everything was made and go a little bit before that.

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And that group of people already belonged to God and to Jesus. The ones who would ever be saved in all of time, all of history, however long it lasts, already belonged to God and to Jesus.

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Thine they were. I just lost my verse. Where am I? All right.

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So thine they were, and thou gavest them to me. So now you come into time and space and Jesus is

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God with us in time and space. And the father gave us to him at that point.

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And they have kept thy word, which means God's word, the Bible. So do we keep it perfectly though?

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Kind of like David in your lesson, right? But in reality, we do keep it because part of God's word is 1

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John 1 .9. And what does it say? If we confess our sins is faithful and just forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from what?

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All the sins we forgot to confess. So now we're clean again. So we do keep his word.

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David had the sacrificial system. And though he was not perfect, he was perfect in keeping that, wasn't he?

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So he was perfect because we're not perfect anyway. We're only made perfect by the blood of Jesus, which those sacrifices pictured.

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Now we look back at the cross, the real thing, which the real sacrifice and so forth. Skip to verse eight.

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For I have given unto them the words, which the father gave to Jesus to give us.

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That's this right here. This is called the perfect in the Bible. It's the only perfect thing in this world.

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God's perfect word. The Bible calls itself God's perfect word. The Bible says it was breathed by God.

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The Bible says that it will be preserved until the last generation, which means you still have it.

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And I have given unto them the words which you gave me and they have received them. Now, did every human receive

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God's word? Well, some people receive the Quran, which is not God's word.

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Some people receive the teachings of Buddha.

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Which is not God's word. Some people are Hindus and they read various books by the

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Hindu masters, which none of which gave God's word. They just gave human philosophy. But God's sheep pick this book up and see a difference at some point in their life.

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At first it was boring. They couldn't make it through it. They didn't want it. They didn't want to go to church. And all of a sudden the next day they got an interest in it.

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They wanted to go to church. Why the next day? Because God called them and they began to follow him right there.

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And all of a sudden that Bible became more interesting. Doesn't mean you can understand all of it, but you will understand some of it from that point every time you read it.

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So I gave unto them this select group of people, this group that is selectively chosen to be loved by God's Agape love.

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I've given them the words which you gave me and they have received those words and have known surely that I, the son of God came out from the father, proceeded out from a place that wasn't a place where there was no time and he spiraled into time and space as it was created.

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He is God with us. They know that I came out from thee and they have believed that you did send to me.

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Not everyone believes that. Not everyone can believe it. I pray for them.

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Now notice this, this is phenomenal in today's world of upside down theology.

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I pray for them. I pray not for the world. Are Jesus' prayers answered?

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Are you glad that he prays for you then? But he does not pray for the rest of the world.

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Those who are not of the elect, those who are not God's children, those who God does not love with that parental kind of special, intimate love that he loves you with, he doesn't pray for them.

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But I pray for them which you gave me for they are yours.

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Does that imply not everyone is God's? What did Jesus mean when they asked him, did you plant the tares in your garden?

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He said, no, I don't plant tares. Satan put them here. I didn't. I only plant wheat. What do you mean by that?

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What did he mean when he looked at the Pharisees and he says, I'm of my father,

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God from heaven, you're of your father the devil and to his deeds you will do. If I said that I know not

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God, I would be a liar like unto you. And you make your converts twice the children of hell that you are because where I go thou cannot go.

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He didn't say you won't choose to. He said, you can't go there because you're not from there, you're from below. What did he mean? He meant

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Satan had his children too and they're human beings on this earth. And Jesus did not die for them.

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If he did, why are they going to hell? If he loved them, why would you let anyone you love go to hell?

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Would you send someone you love to hell? This modern theology makes no sense of it.

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I will always to my dying day, remember when Ron came to me at that trade way meeting and said,

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I was listening to you talk to that person at the table yesterday. And we went home and we thought about it and looked at a bunch of verses.

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And for the first time in my life, Romans chapter nine fits the whole Bible. Until that day,

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I never could fit it in with anything. He said, the whole Bible fits together now. They began driving from far side of Dallas to here and finally moved here, praise the

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Lord. But I mean, both of your eyes were just opening in like about 30 minutes of talking and the word of God, listening, going home and looking at verses and boom, it just hit you.

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And now you see it everywhere. When it hits you, you see it everywhere. Just like the great Charles Spurgeon did. He could not stop talking about it.

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He would not stop talking about it. He would refute those who disagreed with it every chance he got.

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That's why I love it when he knew there were some in the crowd and he said, you know what? An effect can never be the cause of the cause.

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It wasn't God looking out and seeing you decide to receive Jesus that made him choose you. You received

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Jesus because he'd already chosen you. He said, the effect cannot be the cause of the cause. God caused your salvation.

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I love it. I love reading his sermons. Now look at verse 11. Wait, did

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I finish that? All mine are the, oh, look at verse 10.

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All mine are God the father's and all of God the father's are Jesus's.

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It's the same select group. Do you see that? And I am glorified in those individual people throughout all time.

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My church is where I received my glory. Verse 11, and now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world because he was approaching his death on the cross when he prayed this prayer, wasn't he?

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Getting close to his time was almost there to be crucified for his children. So I come to thee, holy father, keep through your own name those that you gave me.

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How much would that add to your eternal security if you knew that Jesus just prayed and said, father, when

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I leave, I want you to keep all the people that receive me as their savior. I want you to keep them from hell.

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So if he got that prayer answered, we're in good shape. Even when we mess up. Keep through that own name, those whom thou has given me that they may be one as we are.

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So now I want you to begin to notice it won't take that long to get through this passage, but there are several things that I want you to notice where Jesus says, as you love me this, or as we're this, then let them be that.

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This is the first one. And he says, as you and I are one, father, may they be one with us.

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Do you see that at the end of verse 11? So the first thing I want to point out, and you jot these down or mark them in your

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Bible. It's going to be hard to do on your phone. Well, actually it's easier, isn't it, Katie? You type it right in there in your notes.

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I tried to get Katie to only use her Bible one day, a long time ago, and she said, dad, I can only have the scriptures in front of me.

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I can keep notes on my phone a lot better. And I said, okay, I'll shut up about that. But anyway, so the first thing that if you look at how the father and the son love each other, then he just said, and how they are one, you know, it's one

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God, it's not three gods, right? It's one God. And the oneness that they have, he just prayed to the father that we would have the same oneness with the father that Jesus has.

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Wow. So the first thing is oneness. Okay, so now we start to relate this to the man in the home with regard to his spouse, his wife, his female wife.

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I'm going to, we got to be clear in America now today, his woman wife is that the two would be one.

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Do you have it? There's no other person. There is no other person that he will be one with his whole life until death do them part.

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Do you get that? Do you see how important that is? If it's true of God, the father and Jesus and his bride, it's true in the family.

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So we start to see the principles of a sound marriage is that look, look, gentlemen, listen to me.

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This is not an emotion. I'm okay with emotion when you first meet.

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I mean, the chemistry has got to be there. Would you agree with that? I mean, the chemistry has got to be there, but as you move in that relationship, there has to also be intention and intent and intellect.

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And there has to be a decision made that says, you know what? And man, I could reverse this from the woman's viewpoint.

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It'd be fun. In fact, we'll do that when we get to the role of the woman, but anyway, it'll even be more fun than this. But you got to look at that individual, gentlemen, and you say, okay,

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I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly. We've dated long enough and been together long enough, engaged long enough, whatever, where we've had a few spats and I even like her when she's mad at me.

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You know, that sort of thing. So I'm going to make a decision that I'm never going to be with another woman than this one.

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This one, I will be one with this one woman. And that is an intellectual decision that is made with character and with everything that you are in Christ.

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Got to add that. It's more than you are. And that's a decision of oneness right there. Now look at verse 12.

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While I was with them in the world, I kept them in your name, father. Those that thou gave me,

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I have kept and none of them is lost. So here we see now that this principle of oneness is there.

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Now we see a second principle and it's the principle of keptness. He keeps her.

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He keeps her for a whole lifetime. Charlotte and I, if you counted the years we dated before we got married, have been together 50 years.

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We started dating when she was three and I was six, seven. I was seven.

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You think she's pretty now. You should have seen her when she was six. But anyway, she's prettier now than she was when she was six because I've seen the pictures of when she was six.

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She gets prettier every day. But it's an intellectual decision, gentlemen, to keep her for your whole life.

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What does the Old Testament say? It says to stay with the bride of your youth, to love the bride of your youth.

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This is Jesus exemplifying this in how he treats his bride, which is us.

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He keeps us eternal security, yes, but in a marriage, it's security in the marriage. Now you have to remember that if that man is not in Christ, he cannot do any of this.

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Oh, he can be religious, but if he doesn't have the fruits of the spirit in his life, he probably ain't saved anyway and he can't do any of this.

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So I'm talking about where the man is genuinely saved. Are you with me for now? Anyway, that's what we're talking about.

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All right, so she is kept. And it's interesting when you look at this

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Greek word where it says kept, ptareo, it literally means to guard something.

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So gentlemen, think about this. It's not only your duty to keep her, it's your duty to protect her and guard her from the things of the world that could attack her and hurt her and make her fall.

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That could be anything from bad philosophy to bad men looking and watching her and going after her because you're not paying enough attention.

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It could be anything. It's your job to guard her as your wife.

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And verse 13 says, and now come I to thee and these things I speak in the world that they might have my joy fulfilled in themselves.

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So now it's the gentleman's job to make sure that his wife is joyful. That means happy too, not just joyful in the

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Lord, but happy in the marriage. If she's not happy, find out why.

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Get to the root of it. If it's you, fix it. If it's something else, fix it. If it's just what you may think is something

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I can't control, then control it anyway. Figure out how to control it and work at making her joyful and happy.

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Look at verse 14. And I have given them thy word and the world hates them because they are not of the world even as I am not of the world.

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Now, here's a principle. It is that once a man and woman marry, they become separated unto one another.

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There is an exclusiveness. Their relationship is different than either one of the two's relationship with anyone else in the world, including their parents.

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That marriage relationship is different and exclusive. And if you look at the other things the world could bring, it's as if it's hate compared to the love you have for each other.

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Jesus said, when you look at the spiritual side of this thing, if you just love me and you love my word, then the world hates you.

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Now see, the world can make us think they like us, can't they? Just know that they don't.

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They're smiling at you while they're hating everything you're saying sometimes. But it's a picture of in the marriage, there should be no one that could pretend to love your wife or like her as much as you or wanna lift her up or make her better than you can.

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There should be no one that can have that role better than the role that the husband has.

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And the two should be separated from the whole rest of the world as if they're the only two people. That's kind of how it is in the sense of the love.

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Now, don't take this out of context. I'm not talking about that you should, gentlemen, you should lock your wife in the house and she can't have friends, she can't ever go do anything.

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A true Christian man, Jesus always gives freedom, doesn't he? Because he knows that the strong love that he has for her will keep her so he doesn't have to lock her in the room.

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So ladies, you got men that tend to do that, just come talk to me. Come talk to me, please.

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All right, so that's not what it means, but it just means with regard to that strong love, there is nothing else in the world that can match it.

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Are you with me? All right. Verse 17, sanctify them through thy truth, thy word is truth.

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So this shows that they have, sort of shows that this exclusiveness also, it shows that they're sanctified, means set apart from the rest of the world.

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And I find it interesting that it's the word of Jesus that sanctifies the bride and makes her different.

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And I'm gonna touch on that here in a minute, I'm gonna save it just for a second, but keep that in mind.

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Now, verse 18 said, as thou has sent me into the world, even so have I sent them. Like Jesus came, now send my bride out too.

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It means that the man and the woman, this picture is that the man and the woman have the same mission. They shouldn't have two different missions where the wife wants to go off and do this mission and the husband's gonna do this mission.

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They should have the same mission. The wife is a helpmate. And I find this, you know, when one of my five children in particular was in college, he was trying to date

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Christian women and would fall in love with these Christian women. And then they would say, well, my career is more important.

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I gotta go ahead and get my PhD. And so I'm gonna break up with you. And it'd break his heart. And those women had been taught by our society that their career is just as important as the man's career.

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It's not if you're gonna be married, okay? It's just not.

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If you would choose a career over your husband, that's not the heart of God in you.

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That is flesh. And the world system that you grew up in that taught you that it should be that way, but that's not in the

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Bible. Show me anywhere from Genesis to Revelation where that's the attitude any woman should have in a marriage.

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Now, can a woman have her own career? Yes, but it shouldn't be where it pulls against the husband's career and against his life and makes him miserable.

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It should work together with what he's doing. And that's what this is a picture of. I do understand that the lessons

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I'm teaching could, there's no way I can verbalize everything I'm talking about in the few minutes

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I have. So you could be thinking I'm saying something that I may not be. So please come to me with questions anytime.

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Always come and say, what'd you mean when you said that? Because I wanna make sure you know what I meant and what I didn't. I'm trying to make myself clear, but I know that I've been imperfect in that in the past and always will be.

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So come with questions that you have. So I hope you keep it in context and you understand what I'm saying. The same mission doesn't mean you can't have a career, women, ladies, but it means that it can't contradict the husband's and it has to be along with that same mission because the two are one.

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The two of you were put in this world for a mission that God had in mind for the two of you as one. And that's the principle.

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Verse 19, and for their sakes, I sanctify myself. Boy, could we talk about that for the gentlemen a little bit?

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For my wife's sake, I make myself be more holy. I don't do some of the things other men do.

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I don't look at some of the things other men look at and partake of some things other men partake of. And I do it for her sake.

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Wow, we could talk about that. For their sakes, I sanctify myself. I set myself apart from the worldliness and the fleshliness and everything that's out there that's against God.

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Why? So that they also might be sanctified through the truth. So if you find that your wife is straying out into the world, look in the mirror first.

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Verse 20, neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe in me through their word.

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So that takes it all the way down 2 ,000 years to us today. So all of this passage applies to us too.

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Everyone that ever believed by the word of this generation that witnessed to this one, this one witnessed to this one, all the way down to today.

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Someone told us the gospel and that's why we're here. That they all may be one as thou father art in me and I in thee.

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That they also may be one in us. That the world may believe that you sent me. Our unity and our love for each other.

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Is one of the things God provides to the lost world to look at to determine if God's even real or not.

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So when we argue over the color of the carpet, we hurt people.

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Because they think our God is powerless. When we in a marriage where both people are born again, both in the word and they're walking together and that thing does not go well.

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It's not a good picture to the world. Can we see that? It's not a good picture to unbelievers because that's how their marriage is.

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So is God impotent? You claim your body is the temple of the living God and you each have

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God in you and your marriage is messed up as ours is. You don't even like each other.

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You don't get along. You're not walking together. God is impotent.

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Your God is nothing. You see, this is what Jesus is talking about here. He says, may we be one like you our father in me and I in you and may they also be one in us so that the world can believe that you sent me, that I'm the

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Christ, that the world can believe I'm Jesus. I'm the son of God. I'm powerful. I can change lives.

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They won't even believe that if you guys don't get along. Well, it's a picture of him in the church, but it's also a picture of the husband and the wife and the marriage.

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Verse 22, and the glory which thou gavest me I have given to them that they may be one even as we are one.

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We're supposed to have a glorious marriage. Verse 23, and I in them and thou in me that thou, that they may be made perfect in one.

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That means mature, that their marriage becomes more and more mature. They actually love each other now than they did when they met.

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And it gets stronger every year that they may be mature in one and that the world may know that thou has sent me and has loved them as thou loved me.

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So that brings me to the seventh likeness is the same love that the father had for Jesus.

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Jesus said, I pray father that you will love them that same amount. That's infinitely possible to even consider that we in our sinful state, the father loves us as much as Jesus in his perfect state.

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But that was Jesus' prayer. Does his prayer get answered? I pray father that you would love them just like you love me.

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Wow, I'm glad he prayed that prayer. I'm not so sure the father would have been inclined to do it if he hadn't prayed that prayer.

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That's stupid, I'm speaking as a man. Jesus and the father were always one on this issue in every issue, correct?

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The same love from the father that he had. And now we talk about that love, the love for the husband, for the wife should be the same as the love that Jesus has for that husband.

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Now think about that. And so that's a powerful love. Look at verse 24,

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I'm almost done here because we're almost to the end of the chapter. Verse 24, father, I will that they also whom thou has given me, same select group still, be with me where I am.

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Be with me where I am. We will be with him in heaven. I heard Charlotte brought this to my attention.

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She likes to read Charles Spurgeon's sermons a lot. And one time Charles Spurgeon was speaking maybe at a funeral,

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I'm not sure where the occasion was, but he was talking about when you lose a loved one to death, that all that is is

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John's prayer in John chapter 17, verse 24, where he said, where I am, may my children be.

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He just got that prayer answered because your loved one went to be with him. I think that's pretty amazing that Spurgeon would say something like that with full confidence that that's how we ought to think.

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Pretty beautiful. He said, where I am, that they may be with me because I want them to behold my glory, which you gave me, father, for thou lovest me before the foundation of the world.

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And he loved us with the same love before the foundation of the world. And so what this shows is that this kind of agape love is a kind of love where the husband wants to be present with the wife pretty much all the time.

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Now, can she go off and do things with the friends? And yeah, reluctantly, but yeah.

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Charlotte always says, well, my class, girls in my class are gonna meet and they wanna do a sleepover and it's gonna be in Mahea at the lake.

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It's not that far away. And she goes on and on and on. And I'm sitting there thinking, okay, nay, I don't want her to go.

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And I'm thinking, and I'm going like this, I'm thinking, nay, I don't want her to go. And I'm saying, wow, man,

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I bet you hadn't seen them in a long time and you don't need to see them tonight, but whatever. So I'll say, go and enjoy it.

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You'll have a great time. And so, but the desire in my heart is,

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I like it when she's there. Okay, so it should be this way in a marriage.

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It should never be. Have you ever heard people say this? I know you hear it in movies. Movies are the worst place to learn about how marriages are supposed to be because how many

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Hollywood marriages make it? Well, usually the sixth one does or the seventh because then they die.

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So that one was until death parted them, right? Because they're 90 by then. But anyway, so it's the worst place you can get it.

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So in these movies, you hear and you see things like, well, I love you, but I just gonna have to separate.

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Just can't be with you anymore, but I love you. But agape love is love wants to be with them in the same room as much as possible, right?

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I mean, I love it. We got a pretty good sized house. We had foreknowledge that we were gonna have five kids somehow.

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So we put enough space there and my parents helped, thankfully, but we put enough space there when we were very young so that we could grow into that house with five kids.

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And then later, grandbabies too. So I can be back in my study, which is on the far end of the house.

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Charlotte's down there in the kitchen. It was not like we're together. She's working on something and I'm working on something, but I sure like knowing she's in that house.

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And then when she has to go do something in Corsicana or Dallas or Waco, I'm sitting back there in my study, just,

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I don't feel like doing anything. I don't wanna work. I'm just gonna, just not gonna do anything.

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So this is the attitude that a good marriage has, I think. So it is a desire.

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I call it the desire of presence or the desire of witness. You like that, Dave? Can you tell

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I made that up? Oh, King James Version, right. Okay.

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So then where I am, I want them to be with me. Okay, look at verse 25 and 26.

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Oh, righteous father, the world hath not known thee, but I have known thee.

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And these have known that thou has sent me and I have declared unto them your name and I will always declare it so that the love wherewith you love me may be in them and I may be in them.

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So not only do we have the father loving us the same exact way that he, with the same magnitude that he loves his son, but we also have

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Christ dwelling in us, who is that love and there it is. So it's fascinating to read this chapter.

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We see nine principles for a marriage in a chapter that really has to do with Jesus's marriage with his bride, which is us.

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But it pictures marriage as well and vice versa. So we're out of time today. In fact, we're out of chapters.

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We're done with chapter 17 of John. So we'll stop there today. Let's stand and have prayer together. Dear father, we thank you for your word and for how you had to open our eyes as you called us to God and you opened our eyes so that we can now hear your words and thank you for the wisdom in your words, for the eternal nature of the truth in every generation, the same truths work in that generation throughout all time.

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And we just ask you to help us remember these principles in our marriages and to work on these, any area of those nine areas where we have a weakness, can we get together and work on that together?

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And Lord, we just pray for each family in this church that you would grow us into mature, strong, wonderful marriages that the world can look at and realize how powerful you are.

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And Lord, maybe no other place better than the marriage to show your work to the world.

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And so help us with that, Lord, protect our marriages from the enemy who would destroy, protect our children and their marriages, even if they be in the future from the same enemy.

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And we ask all that in Jesus name, we ask you to bless the meal and fellowship time we're about to have also in Jesus name, amen.