The Al Mohler "Private Phone Call" - A Cinedoc

The following video is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to actual events is entirely coincidental, but not necessarily unexpected.

One day, as I was doing my research into social justice, the Christian church, and Big Eva, my phone rang.

I was on a roll and I was too busy to pick up, but it rang again. Reluctantly, I picked up the phone.

I didn't recognize the number, but I thought, oh well, I'll just get him to stop calling. Hello? Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?

Who is this? I'm your worst nightmare, buddy. You better stop what you're doing right now. I'm warning you.

I don't know what that means. It means you're on the right track and I want to stop you. Stop talking in riddles.

You've been warned. Look, unless you're ready to spill the beans and talk in a normal voice,

I'm not going to pick up the phone anymore. Thank you for calling. But he didn't stop. This time

I picked up and heard him out. He told me that he would send me a series of videos that would explain what's going on with Al Mohler and his phone calls.

Oh, I mean, you could have said that from the beginning. He said he had my best interests in mind and he wanted to help me understand what

Big Eva was up to. I do. I want to know. I must know. But I was a little uneasy.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. How do I know I can trust you? I never said you could. At least tell me your name.

Let's just say the diner is packed with rats, snakes and clock bars.

I thought I knew what that meant, but I wasn't sure. What followed over the next few days was a number of phone calls all hours of the night and emails with video attachments of what he said, the

Albert Mohler phone call. The private calls that people would get that made them change their mind.

What they actually consisted of. I'm not sure what to believe. Maybe you can help me solve this mystery.

Al, the problem is you've told me to look at who you platform. I'm looking at who you platform and it's critical race theorists and all kinds of nonsense.

Can you explain yourself? You don't need an explanation. I'm the president of Southern Seminary with a conservative track record that goes back decades.

We don't need an explanation. Al Mohler is a conservative seminary president of a conservative seminary with a conservative track record that goes back decades.

Al Mohler. Al Mohler. Al Mohler. Hold it right there,

Al. We follow the paper trail. We know that you were at those socialist events and took all kinds of money from shady sources and socialist open societies, entities and things like that.

We know. We can see it. We can see the paper trail. And we saw you. We saw you there. It's okay that we're here.

Look, look. I know the paper trail looks bad. I know the money looks bad and all that kind of stuff. But look. You've got to understand.

We're getting... Our schools are bigger than ever. We've got more resources than ever. We even...

Pewter Lab actually has a computer in it. She's a beauty. I can't beat a Calico. How many can

I put you down for? A lot? Please say a lot. I'd eat this. I don't know. I'm not even sure we can keep this one.

It's up to you. What do you say, guy? Will you cancel your synodoc for the good of the Christian church and for the

SBC convention? Let's not forget old Gil, huh? The wolf said old Gil's door.

Guess they don't have much choice. Oh, they... But you don't ask for this.

You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. You said you'd come into my house on the day my daughter's to be married in your house.

You asked me to explain why my right -hand man is a critical race theorist. I asked you for the truth.

No, that's not the truth. Oh, sailor.

What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? I'm sorry,

Al. I'm sorry, Godfather. How could I make this up to you?

And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then I would fear you.

Be my friend. Talk to the doctor and explain...

Just a minute. Al is semi -retired now. If you have anything to say, you can say it directly to Matt Hall.

You're my older brother. Don't ever take sides with anyone.

Spice warning ahead. If you watch with kids, typically, maybe this would be a time where maybe they don't watch the next minute.

Hey, young SBC up -and -comer. Anybody coming to you yet? Anybody get to you yet?

Hey, we all need friends. I like that.

After watching these videos from my anonymous source, who I definitely don't know who it is,

I'm a little confused. Those are very different approaches. Maybe they're different approaches for different people, but what do you think that the typical

Al Mohler phone call approach is? I've got some information and I kind of know how they go, but I'm interested to see what you think this phone call goes like because we've heard it so many times where Al Mohler says something publicly, but then there's a private phone call that says the opposite, and so we're supposed to be okay with that.

I'm not okay with that. Are you? So I'm going to put a poll up to see what you guys think is the best representation from a movie or TV show of what the

Al Mohler phone call looks like. And one more thing. I've, of course, discovered the best way to deal with that if you are ever on the receiving end of the

Al Mohler phone call. It doesn't have to just be Al Mohler. It could be anyone in Big Eva. They make these phone calls all the time, but if they ever do, this is how you deal with it.

It pissed the warden off something awful. I am warning you,

Duke Brain. Turn that off! Brain!