Biblical Counseling (part 6)

A loving father, we thank you for this day. We thank you for this Lord's day. And as we open your word, as we look through this material, I pray that your spirit would eliminate our hearts and minds, that you would help us in our needs and help us to help others in their needs.

And we ask all this that your name would be glorified in our midst. In Christ's name, we pray. Amen. All right. So hopefully you all have your handouts from too many weeks ago. If you don't, you're welcome to borrow one.

And then if you have it at home, you can return it. If you don't have one, you can take it. So there's some copies here if you need copies. So just a reminder, we've been doing the love, no speak, do stages of counseling.

And, you know, when we've covered the first four steps, which is love involves, starts with getting involved in the life of the people that need help. And you want to be able to give them hope and inspire them to be able to look to God in the midst of their need or the problem.

And we said the problem could be either one of sin, where they are stuck in an area and need help to come out of it, or they're in a place of suffering, which may not be caused by themselves, but now they need help to come through that.

So that love is where it begins. In the last couple of weeks, we looked at know, how do you take an inventory or data that the person presents to you? Which of those are surface problems? You know, they are the presenting problem.

And how do you then look to see what's underlying the, in the heart, the trouble that they are facing? And then how do you interpret that? So you get some categories through which people speak, we speak, and then we use the lens of the scripture to say, how does the Bible look at these categories?

And so today, as we ended last week, we ended with speak. And that's kind of the key part of counseling, which is ministering to tell people what they need to hear from God's word. And so we just started that.

And so if you can turn to number five instruction, again, if you don't have a handout, there's some copies here, you can come and grab one, you will need a copy to be able to be in the class. So even if you left it at home, grab it, and then you can return it after class.

So, so as we begin, we, I was just thinking of, I'll just give one introductory comment, and we'll jump right in. I was thinking of this analogy of the spiritual state of the believer, and every one of you here, hopefully is in one of these categories, you are either running, like, you know, Paul says, run the race, you are maybe walking, like, you know, let us walk as Jesus walked, we have a steady following after Christ, the way Christ walks.

Some of you are probably not running or walking, but you're crawling, kind of getting a little bit ahead at a time. And then the rest of you might be in the other category, which is your, your spiritual progress may be stalled, you're just standing or stop.

And for some of you, it might be actually slipping, you know, where you need to be and where you are going down. And you're trying to put this brakes on as the skid has begun. And normally, that doesn't help the skid in ice.

And then for some of you, it's, it's falling, you know, you're kind of in a free fall, and you have no idea how to stop where things are going. And as a believer, you could be in all of these states, in various points in your life, there are circumstances that come and take you from, you know, high flying mode into, you know, destruction, doom mode.

And there are other things where you're, you're really down and under, and then the Lord just graciously picks you up and puts you on the rock, and then you can see the glories of heaven. And, and so no matter where we are in our walk with the Lord, in our own state of understanding, and in our state of following him, the word is sufficient for our needs.

Let him who stands take heed, lest he fall. So if you're doing well, we have the Word of God that sustains you and, and keeps you in place. And for those who are caught up in sin, like in, we saw in Galatians 6, 1 and 2, the Lord does equip, help, provide help that we may find help in our time of need.

So, so the question is, when we think of discipleship and counseling, so for those who are running and walking really well, we normally think of discipleship. So as you are studying the Word and praying, as you are ministering, as others are ministering to you, you're growing in the strength that the Lord has provided.

And that's fantastic. And that ought to be the life of every believer here. But when you go into the red zone, more like that's when the counseling, you know, discipleship turns into counseling, where you're helping those who are needing help.

Sometimes it is you yourself, as you are self-administering the Word through materials and otherwise as the Spirit of God helps you, or as you help others who have need for help. And so I wanted to just remind you, I think it should be clear through this time.

So if anyone here needs help, counseling help, you can, A, approach anybody else in the body who is equipped and able to help. So you don't want to be that person who's, okay, I'm stuck. I don't know what to do, but it's kind of too shameful to talk about these things.

I'm just going to be stuck. That's excellent. If you don't know anybody in the church, just approach the elders. You know, the elders should be equipped, hopefully. And they are not just equipped, they're willing to help.

So people who reach out, you know, will certainly get the help either directly from the elders or someone else that the elder knows. Normally for discipleship, here's what we would recommend. We would say, you know, as you connect with different people, you would normally see that someone is skilled in some area of spiritual work.

And you really admire how the Lord has done that work in them. And so you say, okay, you know, this person is great at studying the Bible, and I'm kind of stumbling and fumbling through it. Would you be willing to disciple me?

You know, can we do a Bible reading together or a study together? So that's normally how discipleships begin. Each of us here, Pastor Mike likes to say, needs to be discipled by someone where we know someone is further along in the walk than we are, and be able to also minister to someone else who is further behind, newer in the faith.

So that's the discipleship pattern that we normally use. As we talk, we can always approach people that we recognize. But the elders would certainly be willing to, and the deacons. Where are the deacons?

Yes. So they are intended to help the body find the right resources. Great. Thank you. All right. I think I'm done with the intro. Let's jump in. So we are on instruction. And the goal here is to promote biblical change through accurate, concrete, practical, and appropriate teaching and counsel from the scriptures to provide God's perspective on what to do to solve the problem.

So before we jump into the section, we did cover section A, but we'll do it again. So A, B, and C almost answer your question in terms of who is equipped to counsel. So even if it's yourself counseling yourself, the A, B, C will go through that.

And then when we look at D through G on the next page, that's the how. How do we want to be able to counsel those who need help? And then the last two there are the what. What are you actually counseling this person for?

So we'll go through each of these quickly, and then we'll talk about it in the context of some practical counsel. So the first one is prerequisite for giving instruction. What do you need to have in order to be able to counsel?

So let's look at those three verses. Once again, volunteers who can read aloud. Romans 15, 14, who would like to read that? Thank you, Anthony. Second Timothy 2, 15. Thank you, Ma. Second Peter 3, 17 through 18.

Thank you. All right. So let's begin with Romans 15, verse 14. We've read this several times, but I think it's important to remind ourselves of it. Filled with goodness, having knowledge, and able to instruct one another.

And this is Paul writing to the Romans whom he has not met. He's just heard about them, and later he will meet them. And every believer in the church in some way, shape, or form should be able to do this.

And as we are ministering to others, we want to examine how do I need to be growing in this, especially in the skill that it involves. Second Timothy 2, 15, one who is approved, one who is working and so not ashamed, but most importantly, able to handle the word of truth.

So it's your skill with both knowing and instructing, handling the word of truth that is key in giving instruction. And the last one, the second Peter 3, 17 to 18. As I was looking for it, I went to first Peter 3.

Oh, I know first Peter 3. No, this is second Peter 3. It's the last couple of verses of second Peter. Amen. And so one part of it is you want to be not swayed by the troubles that you face. So if you are, you know, let's say alcoholism is the area that you have strongly grown out of, and you can help people in alcoholism because God has given you the grace and walk through it.

Great. But if someone is at the bar and you are just coming out of it, and you want to go and spend the rest every evening in the bar with this person, take heed lest you fall. You want to be wise about what you can and cannot counsel.

And, um, and the other one, the last verse was to be growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. So we ought to be, um, as we are looking to help others, we all ourselves must be growing in grace.

So let's pause there a prerequisite for giving instruction, any comments or thoughts? All right. So for the interest of time, I'll keep moving, but feel free to interrupt. The next one is based on God's word.

So, you know, the, we, we've said this before, and I'm going to just reiterate it again. This is the authority that we have. So as much as I might have gone through, made a blaze, the chat blazed a path through real difficult times on my own.

My experience is only as helpful as it is supported by God's word. So we want to be remembering that God's word is the authority. So let's look at the, these verses here, familiar versus again, first Thessalonians two 13.

Can I have a reader? Sorry. Second Timothy. Well, we yeah, we'll read this a couple of times. Second Timothy three, 16, 17. Thank you, Michael, which is at work in you believers. It's God's word that is going to work in the life of the believers that you are going to give counsel to.

And we know this verse normally in the context of preaching. So when we know when pastor Mike or pastor Steve go up there and preach, to the degree that they are faithful to God's word, we don't read, listen to it as pastor Mike or Steve preaching, but it's God himself speaking to us.

And that's the same in counseling as well, to the degree that you apply God's word. It is God's word working in the life of the people, uh, second Timothy three, 16 and 17. So when you rest in God's word, you are equipped for every good work.

Um, and this obviously is written to Timothy, who is a pastor. And, uh, it also applies to any believer who uses the scripture along those lines that was given for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

And so, uh, God has given us this word. And I, as we began with talking about ministering to yourself. And so when you study the word for this purpose, God does that work through his word. And you can also do that, uh, to minister to others.

And it's the same, uh, verse in the next section, the scripture is expounded and explained in context by the counselor. So you have a responsibility to a understand the word and to be able to explain what that means to this specific, uh, situation that you're meeting.

We talked about, um, gathering information. And, uh, so the person sees it through the lens of their experience. And then your responsibility is to look at that word and say, how does that word, uh, deal with this particular problem?

So we, we looked last time at, um, uh, workaholism. And then we said, okay, you know, here are some root, um, possible roots that could be there. We don't know this particular person, but as you talk, you discover, and then you say, okay, here's what the Bible says about a idolatry or greed or fear of man or whatever it is that it is.

And when you understand it and then explain how this word connects to this person's lifestyle being dominated by workaholism, then you are able to take God's word and apply it there. So let's pause here on the word of God.

Any thoughts or comments? An excellent point. Um, in terms of where we, um, draw our wisdom and knowledge from, actually, I was going to do this a little later, but I'll say this now. When we think of the source of our problem, the source, where does this trial, this sin, the suffering come from?

Um, most of the time, if I'm in this end zone, you know, of slipping, falling, um, you know, I, I use the example of a car crash where you need a jaws of life to extricate you out of this place. You really have nothing to contribute to getting out of the place yourself.

Um, uh, the, the, the question that will come at some point is why am I in this place to begin with? Uh, in first John two, um, I think it's 15. It talks about, uh, you know, the three kinds of, uh, temptations and things to avoid.

It talks about the last of the flesh, the last of the eyes, the pride of life. And then, um, uh, in John, we look at three categories. I'm sorry, I'm mixing two things because I don't have my notes here.

Uh, so the sources would be, you know, flesh could be the world could be the devil. You know, those are three common categories from which you can get temptation or suffering from. Uh, when we talk about the flesh, we think of like Romans six, seven, eight, as we try to understand that even for a believer as a believer, not just as a human being I made in God's image, I have experienced the effects of the fall.

And so my heart is depraved. And we saw this from the Jeremiah passage, you know, the, we need to get to the root of it when you're trying to solve the problem, because that's where it originates most of our troubles.

And, um, even as a believer, I'm, I look at, uh, Romans six, seven, and I recognize that in this life, I will have a source of temptation come from within me. And I may be the cause of a lot of my troubles that I'm facing.

And, uh, but then thanks be to God, Romans eight, we have the spirit of God that is also indwelling me and enabling me to get past the limitations of the flesh. So I no longer walk, um, to fulfill the lust thereof.

I can, I have the ability, sin no longer has dominion over me. I'm not a slave, but rather I'm a slave of righteousness. And so there is ways in which God has now equipped me to deal with sin in the flesh.

But the part that Jonathan was talking about is the world and the world is a lot more subtle. The flesh, I think every single one of us has such direct experiential knowledge that we know, Oh, you know, I know in my, that doesn't exist goodness and wonderfulness, you know, it's all has to come from God, but the world can be a lot more subtle because I've grown up in the world ever since I was a little baby.

I've been feeding the things of the world since I was a little baby. My discernment often tends to think, Oh, it's working. So it must be good. It feels good. They know everybody does it. And so this may be good.

And especially in cases where it's helping me out of my problem, you know, I have a problem. This thing seems to fix it. Then my defacto solution would normally be, Oh, let's go to this solution because I'm not thinking this is coming from the world.

And that's where you need discernment because some things that people in the world do can tend to reflect the things in the word. And, uh, and I think that's what you were saying, you know, let's try to make sure that what we are hearing does come from the things of God.

And one of the things in counseling, and I can testify more to myself than I counsel to others is there are so many things in the world that I've imbibed unconsciously over my years of growing up. And I do not realize that underneath some of these, um, value systems or what the world pedals as truth are actually very false and dangerous lies.

And sometimes when my mind has been entrenched in those falsehoods, it takes a major trial sometimes to just break that, that connection that I have with the world. And the Lord uses trials for that very purpose that we may be not conformed to the world, but rather conformed to the image of his son.

And so the world, um, I, that what magazine did you call parents? Okay. Uh, I know if you go to like a doctor's office or something, there's normally a bunch of magazines there. And, um, uh, whether it's the magazines or TV or whatever source of the world that is in counseling, one of the key things we would watch out for is what do I need to stop?

You know, what do I need to stop from feeding my mind? And what do I need to let fill my mind? Um, and I think that's a great point that you mentioned. So we talked about the flesh, we talk about the world, and the last one is, uh, the devil.

And, uh, no, we're not turning charismatic and killing the demon of anger. Uh, but it is supremely important to recognize that we are in a spiritual warfare efficient six. And if I were to just go around with my guns blazing, thinking, Oh, I got this, you know, I'm going to go and shoot all this, this, you know, troubles that I have in my own strength, uh, we will fail because the powers and principalities that are against us are supremely more powerful than any one of us here or all of us put together.

But we have the God of heaven and earth who is in our midst and able to help, which is why our health, the source of health needs to be God himself. And he is the one who will deliver us and has promised to deliver us.

And, uh, in through all of this, we'll see this in the next section. As much as the person in suffering and pain wants help as much as if it's you, who's the counselor want yourself to get out of help, get out of the trouble or help the other person in trouble.

There is someone else who is even more concerned for your safety, wellbeing, and your goodness for you to find the help in your time of need. And so it is ultimately God upon whom we rely. Um, even though we as counselors want to seek the wellbeing of the other person.

Okay. That's a very long winded response to yes. Be very careful that you primarily trust in God's word. Always examine what you have in light of God's word, even if your past experiences helped you in certain areas.

All right, so let's move to the next one. This is all part of, you know, who should be counseling or, you know, what is the source of our health and, um, Christ centered council. So we have a bunch of verses here.

We'll just do half of them and then do the second half. So Matthew 11, 28, thank you. Romans one 15. And, uh, I need Romans one 15 and four 16. We need, uh, not six Romans one 15, 16 Romans six versus three and four.

Thank you. Uh, first Corinthians one 30 and 31, Jonathan. Uh, actually let's stop there. Let's do those verses first. Matthew 11, 28. Amen. Isn't that such a wonderful verse? Uh, Christ is our hope. He is our help.

He is our, he is our rock. He is our fortress. Um, especially at this Christmas time. One of the words that just constantly pounds my head is Emmanuel. Um, it is not just the historical fact of what Jesus said 2000 years ago.

It is true. And I can, I can take that promise to the bank. We already heavy laden. You will find rest in Jesus Christ. And that Jesus is Emmanuel today. He is God with us. And that is a powerful, powerful comfort.

When everything else flees, uh, Romans, all the verses, um, Romans one 15 and 16. Oh, it's actually all of it. Was it, uh, if you don't mind, can you read that to me? 15 and 16. I am not ashamed of the gospel.

It is a part of God at the salvation. And, um, we talked a few weeks back about how the gospel, um, is crucial. You know, when we talk to the unbeliever, but also for the believer, my help comes from my position in Christ.

What has God done for me? It is Christ who is my salvation. Amen. Thanks. Thanks for pointing that out from faith to faith. We are constantly growing in our knowledge of who Christ is in our walk with the thanks brother.

And, uh, six, three to four. And I, I just picked these versus, like I said, six, seven and eight are all kind of crucial as you think about, um, your position and your practice. And, uh, when fears and doubt assail, you want to go back and rest in the knowledge of who you are in Christ.

I have been baptized in the death of Christ. I have been buried with Christ. I've been raised up with Christ and I, I inherit the righteousness that Christ has given me no matter what my sin, what my suffering, what my trouble is going through.

And coupled very closely with that position is our practice that we may walk in the newness of life that he crisis, the one who also enables me to walk in a way that I cannot live on my own. I'm a dead person, a rotting corpse.

How do you walk in a newness of life? It is through Christ. All right. So let's read the rest of the verses and we'll chat more. So for the next one, again, first Corinthians one 30 and 31. So, uh, when all of this is done, when you have come out of your trial, God gets the glory because Christ is the one who is our wisdom or righteousness.

He's the one who helps us through this All right. Let's read the next section. Galatians, uh, through Colossians. So Galatians two 20. Thank you, Michael. Ephesians four 32. Um, Colossians. All right.

I have a note there. Colossians one. I think I need from 21 to 23 or, or mrs. And then, uh, someone else for, um, Colossians three, one to four. Let's get somebody Spencer. Thank you. Thank you. So we'll begin with Galatians two 20.

And, um, once again, I hope you can see the position and practice in that verse, um, crucified with Christ and the life I now live. And, uh, it is for you. If you are counseling yourself or the person you're trying to help, it is, um, Christ gave himself up for me is probably the most powerful motivation to get out of that situation you are in, especially if it is one of sin in wanting to love him and follow him and, and do what would be pleasing to him because he is the one who is helping me through this Ephesians four 32.

Once again, you know, here are some imperatives, you know, be kind and a hearted and all of these forgiving. And why? Because God in Christ has forgiven you. And, uh, the gospel has to be central in all of those instructions that come and Christ is at the heart of the gospel.

So as we are ministering to whoever it is that is struggling through this, our eyes, their eyes needs to be firmly fixed upon Jesus Christ, because that's the goal of, uh, not just the counseling, but even the trials that God has brought in that we may know Christ, uh, fully, uh, through that trial, Colossians one 21 to 23.

And, um, let's also read Colossians three, one to four. Uh, this is one of my favorite verses too, which is, um, set your minds on things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Um, and, um, let me say a few words and then we'll talk about this whole A, B and C sections.

This is, um, so when you are in the midst of a problem, I mentioned this before the problem tends to, especially if you are on this end of the red zone, it impresses upon you so much. The pain is so difficult that you just want the problem to go away.

And the problem is all that you can see. And one of the key things to remember for yourself is to turn your, all your energies, um, focus and problem solving from the situation that you are facing, no matter how desperate and difficult it is to look to Jesus.

And I think that's where the hope begins. If you remember in the love, we saw the inspiration. How do you provide hope? You want to remind this person or yourself that yes, this is way too heavy for you, but uh, come to me, all you who are, um, weary and heavy laden and he will give you a rest.

So bringing your eyes to Christ, looking to him as the, the joy in the midst of your affliction, looking to him as the source of help. And you don't have help on your own is where everything begins. So let's, let's pause here.

We've seen a couple of things about what it takes to begin counsel. Any thoughts or comments before we move on to how we do it? I don't see any other hands. It might be a intro into the next section. Yeah.

And, uh, you know, that's one of the things that I like about BBC is for the most part, we have a pretty contextual understanding of the word. So you don't just, Hey, this looks like it would be a good thing.

Let's throw that arrow and see what it does. It's we, we really want to know what God says in that particular text and make sure we apply that appropriately. Charlie, I'll be a little cautious, but I think that's very important.

What Charlie just said, you know, um, there is various contexts in which we minister to people like, you know, for me personally, when I was in this super red zone, all I needed was like one verse that I could just hold on to.

My brain didn't have capacity for anything else. You try to explain it to me. I would have just collapsed, but I just needed that verse that the Lord gave. And so there are times when that's all that that person can handle.

And the word of God is powerful. Spirit of God takes it and does his thing. But I think as a counselor, everything you said is absolutely true. We want to remember that how this word applies in this particular context and be able to, and actually that's the next section.

We are going to be looking at that. We want to be able to, yeah. Yeah. Some things are more cerebral and you need to help them, you know, correct their thinking. And then that just comes through. Whereas in other places you need to come alongside like that Galatians six, two type of thing.

And it's, I'm very thankful for people who showed me kindness when I needed it. Sometimes they need to live that out rather than just speak that out. Yes. Yeah, that's what Corey was talking about. So now you take damages, the credibility of the Bible, when you're just saying something else, like, you know, anybody can take it and make it mean whatever they want.

When, uh, actually although on the calendar side, I was a believer in high school. And then, uh, during college I had to ride my bicycle a very long way. So every morning I would memorize, we had that calendar thing.

I'd memorize that one verse and that one verse was all I would meditate on all the way in and all the way back every class. I would write that verse at the top on every page. So that way it was just like embedded.

I was memorizing the scripture through that time. I had very bad theology and it was, it was relatively young, but I was zealous for the Lord. And then later when the theology came, all of those scriptures started to fire up.

It's like, Whoa, this is great. But, uh, you're right. We want to be careful that we understand what the text means, uh, as we apply it. All right. So let's look at the how parts. So from D through, uh, G, um, these should go quickly, but I think we'll talk a little bit more about how we work this out.

So let's have a, someone read Proverbs 21 five. And I think this kind of fits with some of the things we talked about handling the word of God rather loosely, which is, you know, okay, I know some word, let's just throw it and see what happens.

Uh, and, uh, you know, that's not a bad way to start collecting your thoughts. Okay. The Bible says something about it, but, uh, like, uh, you know, we want to make sure we understand them in context, but more importantly, just the planning part of it.

Um, I can tell you 99 of the time why I fail in my own biblical counseling to myself is because I'm like, I'm just too busy to plan. I've, I just have something else to do. And why do I need to take the time to do an inventory and then figure out what it is?

Yeah, I can, I think this is what it is and move on and crash and burn. And then you'll learn the lesson later, uh, more often than not, when you're counseling somebody else, hopefully we don't take it that flippantly.

You know, when somebody isn't hurt and pain and suffering, you, there is a part of you that just wakens up and you want to plan, understand what is, what does it take to counsel and minister to this person?

What did they need? And those are the steps that we are coming through. So let's, let's go through these things and then we'll chat about them. Uh, preparing counseling outlines and handouts are valuable.

Again, we've already talked about varying varieties of context where you may be counseling someone. And, uh, so if you take the more cerebral part of things, there are things that this person has to know.

Maybe they're thinking this kind of worldly things and they now need to know this biblical counterparts of how to think through these things. And so, uh, you may have to think of, okay, what is the content that I need to give?

Actually, I'm speaking this in section five, but five, six and seven are all connected. Six and seven builders out a little bit more how you would give them some scripture reading, some activities to follow up.

Uh, but, but this is where we're getting started with all that. So, um, investing some time. And when I counsel people, that's normally I have a bunch of bullets that I write down and say, okay, here's where I see this progressing as a plan with helping this person because I can't give them X because they don't know a just yet and they need to kind of walk through some of this thing, whether it is intellectual or just where they are stuck in the problem that they are in and they need some help before.

And I need to be able to walk them through, not just give them X and say, go, what is the worst? We won't be fair and you know, just it's, it's your problem now. Um, and then F is teaching the scriptures creatively.

And this is really the part of, um, I think what has been said, it's, uh, now this person, and actually I'll just combine that with the next one, uh, teach at the level of the counselee. So you, you, you may know a lot of things, but this person may or may not know, are they mature, immature?

What is the place where they are and what do they need to hear? So let's read those two verses. We'll talk about that. And then we'll talk about how overall Hebrews 10, 24, Simon and James three 17. Thank you.

Let us consider how to stir one another up to love and good works. You know, the next verse talks about so that you don't give up fellowship of the saints. So we normally think about, okay, I want to help this person be a part of the body if they're kind of tending to slip away.

Um, but it takes some consideration in order how I can stir this person up in terms of, okay, they're stuck in something. They now need to be revived again in, in, in the, in their life to good works.

So, uh, and the James three 17, yeah, there's many, many, uh, descriptions of the wisdom that comes from above, peaceable, gentle. Um, and you want to remember this. There are times when your counsel will involve rebuke, you know, I need to try not to rebuke your ears with my hands.