Fostering for Jesus #foster #fosterparent #fostering #fostercare #adoption

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We're ready to go, guys. Welcome to the Truth and Love podcast. We are thankful that you have joined us for this episode.

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This is another special episode for the Truth and Love podcast. If you have never watched or joined us at the

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Truth and Love podcast, we welcome you very much to the network, to the podcast.

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If you may know John and Joanne or Tripp and Misty, James and Bethany, correct?

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It's Bethany, the Erickson's. If you know them and you don't know us and you're joining us to see their episode here on fostering, we welcome you.

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To learn more about us, you can find us on YouTube or Facebook. Go to truthandlovenetwork .com.

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We would also encourage you go to laborersconference .com. We're gonna have a conference at the end of April in Knoxville, Tennessee.

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With that being said, tonight's topic is fostering for Jesus. And I'm gonna turn it over to Mr.

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Jody Yupp. He is going to be our moderator tonight. Thank you, brother. Thank you all for being here tonight.

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I wanna just introduce you guys and make sure that anybody who might come on with us or who might see this at a later time, just kind of make sure we're all for me with one another.

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John Boyd and his wife are here with us tonight, Joanne. John is currently serving with Baptist Children's Homes, North Carolina, right now in a licensing and a foster care manager capacity.

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John was at one of the first churches I spoke at several years ago when I came on board and he was in the process in doing some interviewing.

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We're glad that he's come on board at Baptist Children's Homes, North Carolina. He's retired from the state of North Carolina.

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He's worked with Guardian Ad Litem. He's also been a probation parole officer and has served

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North Carolina, I think, for a total of 34 years. Is that right, John? Yes, sir. And a graduate of UNC Pembroke.

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He's got his BS in sociology, concentration in criminal justice. And Joanne has her master's degree from App State, K -12 education, mathematics specialty,

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BS from UNC Pembroke, and she's a retired school teacher. She's also serving right now as an area manager for Caregivers by Design.

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So we're glad to have you guys with us. Tripp, you and your wife, Missy, I met you two years ago when

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I was doing food roundup down in Sandy Run. The day I came to pick up food, you were there and you had that cute little kid with you, man.

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I never forget it. I got it this day. So glad to meet you down there. You are pastoring

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Livonia Baptist Church and you are president of the Pastors Conference at Sandy Run Baptist Association.

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You also moderate Sandy Run Baptist Association. And so you've got a lot going on down there.

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You have your master's in preaching and pastoral ministries from Midwestern Seminary and a

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BA in behavioral science and sociology. And Missy, I think you just kind of right now, you're trying to figure out how to run the new house that you guys are in and figure out what that looks like for family and care and making sure home is home for everybody involved.

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But you're also very talented on the piano and have recorded a lot of music on your own, several instrumental projects.

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And you currently serve, I think, the church as their piano player. But prior to all of those things, prior to becoming a stay -at -home mom,

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I think you worked at one of the churches down in Shelby as a receptionist for Elizabeth Baptist Church in Shelby.

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And you've got 22 years of service too also in at Iron Mountain. So Missy, we're glad that you guys are here with us.

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And Tripp, glad that you guys are on board. You now are foster parents for us at Baptist Children's Homes at one of our new properties called

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River Hill Refuge down in Shelby. And we're glad that you guys are on board with us as well. So thank you guys for being on.

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Yes. James and Bethany, you guys, I think living down in Louisiana, a little warmer than probably what we've got here in North Carolina right now.

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My wife is currently in Texas and she got off the plane in Brownsville and told me it was 78 degrees and said she missed the cool weather in North Carolina right now.

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So James, I think you're the pastor. You are a pastor. And Bethany, you are a speech pathologist, if I think

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I've got that correct. And you guys began fostering a 17 -year -old daughter three months ago.

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So I'm looking forward to hearing what you have on this perspective. You've got a golden doodle named

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Graham, who I understand is the life of the party and probably the center of your family before you began fostering.

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So we're glad to have all of you guys on. Robert and I have known each other since Gardner -Webb.

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I don't know how many years ago we were trying to figure out when we were on campus together, but I know we were on campus together. I lived off campus.

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I think I was probably the older guy on campus back then, Robert. I came back to school in 2000.

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And that was 10 years after I graduated high school. And I remember walking on campus thinking I must be the oldest guy here. And I felt like I was.

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So anyway, the Lord called me back. I surrendered and went back. And I'm glad that I got to spend some time with you there.

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Robert is a husband and father, has been for over 25 years. Currently serves as an elder at First Baptist Newton.

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I spoke there not long ago and got to meet him and his wife and the congregation there. He's a graduate of Gardner -Webb like me.

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And he's a contributor of the Truth and Love podcast and the Laborer's podcast.

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He's also the founder of Truth and Love Network. Kelly, his wife, is a mother and a graduate of Northern Orion University and has taught herself for over 11 years.

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So glad to have you guys on. And last, I am Jody Up. I pastored two churches in North Carolina for 23 years.

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In the last two years, I've been serving at Baptist Children's Homes of North Carolina. Stacey and I have been married for 23 years.

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I have two kids. Cameron is 21 and Savannah is 18. She's a junior at North Greenville and Cameron works in Wisconsin at the

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Henry Firearms Factory in Rice Lake, making those really nice, fancy Henry rifles.

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And so we're proud of both of our kids. Stacey and I are both graduates of Gardner -Webb.

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I earned a Master's of Religious Studies from Southern California Seminary and then went back to school and continued and received a

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Master's of Ministry and Leadership from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. And Stacey also has a

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Master's of Education and Administration and Supervision from Liberty. She was a

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Christian school principal for seven years and now works at Billy Graham in their donor relations department, but really works more for the tour team.

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And she's actually on tour right now. She left Friday and will be gone for 16 days with Franklin and the others on the

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Frontier Tour. So that's a little bit about all of us. Thank you so much for coming. Glad you guys are here.

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And let me jump into this, if you don't mind. And so I'm gonna start with Robert and your wife, if you would.

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How did you first hear about foster care and how did you get involved with that? I'll let you go.

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We talked about this today and Robert even asked me, how did we even first hear about foster care and come into that?

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And I think the short answer is that we were pursuing possible avenues for adoption.

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We each have a grown child and we have only been married since 2016.

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So we were looking for a way that we could grow as a family. And I think when we initially heard,

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I guess our initial conversations were, I think there was an advertisement in town for foster adopt movement.

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And so that got us looking into, what did we need to do in order to initially adopt?

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But I think we've settled now into foster care.

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Okay. How about the Erickson's? How did you guys get involved? What was your initial pull?

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What brought you to foster care? Well, we've been praying about it for several years now on what to do.

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And we'd attempted it one other time, but we ended up having a serious car accident that prevented us from completing the classes.

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So we put that on a hold, but still had that feeling that we needed to do this, but we just couldn't get settled on the time.

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About three months ago, God woke James up in the middle of the night and told him to get ready because we were gonna have somebody coming in the next three months.

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And so, and sure enough, it happens. And so we were surprised, but not surprised all at the same time.

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And our friend is the one that works for DCFS. And she said that she got some papers at the office and recognized this child's name from church.

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She had been at church before several years ago. And her boss talked to her and asked her if anybody from the church could take her.

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So she goes, well, let me just call my pastor and his wife. By that afternoon, she was with us.

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By that evening, she was with us. Look, I wanna thank y 'all, all of you who are fostering right now. And even the

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Boyds, years ago, they fostered for a short time. All of y 'all have fostered, I have not. And I wanna thank all of y 'all for doing that because at Baptist Children's Homes right now, we're making a big push for foster care.

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And there's lots of good agencies. When I say that, please understand, I'm not pushing us above anybody else. We're all in the same, doing the same work.

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If you bring a child into your home, that's what we're supposed to be doing for the kingdom. And so I just wanna thank all of you who are fostering.

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Now, Tripp, how did you and your wife get brought in? What brought you into foster care? We talked about it a few times and it just never seemed like the right time.

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And after Missy had dealt with breast cancer and surgeries and all of those things, we entertained it again.

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I felt like the Lord was leading us to do it. And we had some, there were some children at the church that were obviously food insecure and did not have good home situations.

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And so that also kind of pushed us in that direction, understanding there were a lot of other children who had these same needs.

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And so we inquired and the ball got rolling and it started rolling pretty quick.

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So that was kind of how we started. Well, I'm so glad that I got to meet y 'all a couple of years ago.

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And I even, I think I even said at the time, hey, we're building some properties down in Shelby and we'd love to have somebody like you.

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And I meant it at the time, but I had no idea the Lord would work it out where you'd be living in one of our properties. But I want you to know,

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I appreciate you. I appreciate what you guys are doing. And I'm looking forward to filling those other two homes down there besides you.

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It's part of what we need to do. Let me transition a little bit. I've got John and Joanne there.

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John, I know your role is you've come on as a licensor and also a foster case care manager.

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So I want you to tell us what you do now. Currently, what I'm doing is I'm working as a licensor and trainer.

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I did foster care case management when I was first hired and training as well. The foster care in Babs Jordan's home has changed so tremendously in recent years, six, eight, 10 months time period that we saw the need that we needed to start having more licensing and also more training.

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And so the transition just kind of worked out for me to be able to work over into that department.

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And it's just been a good thing for me. I've really enjoyed that so far. I'm just getting really my feet wet in it because it started after Thanksgiving.

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But our whole goal is stuff like this to get people to become foster parents and do it through the

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Babs Jordan's home because I know we're not trying to single out the Babs Jordan's home, but it is an opportunity that we have the foster care case manager that's gonna work one -on -one.

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And I think the bigger staffs can attest to that from their perspective from being in Shelby and working with that person that's working there.

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So I've just been very blessed in the position that I find myself in. And I know that the

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Lord has a direction for me. And we talked about that when you came and spoke at the church and I'm just trying to be true to what he has planned.

12:48

Well, everybody can have a role in foster care, whether you're fostering or whether you're on your side, whether you're trying to go and train and license.

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My side, I try to promote. My biggest job is promoting the ministries and promoting that ministry. As you well know,

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John and Tripp, you two guys know that's a lot of what I do. But even in our churches, people could, there's a lot of support that they could help us in the church.

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If they can't foster, they can provide resources and they can adopt the family who's kind of adopting and fostering and be an adoptive grandparent or an adoptive foster grandparent.

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And so, what would be some of the things you could tell that people could help do? Well, that's exactly a good transition,

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Jody, because that goes into our fostering. And honestly, we depended solely on the church for resources.

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What I mean by that is, we have children placed with us and it was a Friday afternoon. And when they were placed into our home, they didn't have anything except for the clothes on their back.

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And so, our person - Did that happen to the rest of you? Has that been a similar experience to some of you guys?

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Yes. Okay. And our call went out to the church and it basically was like, hey, this is what we got, this is what we need.

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And by Saturday morning, our truck was full. How many of y 'all received help from your local church?

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Yeah. All right, I'm glad to hear that because that's what we want the church to do is provide some help. So, Robert, I wanna jump to you guys again.

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We know John, he is in the license process and training process.

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I wanna know what your training was like. How did you receive your training and how did that go? So, we went through our local county.

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That's where Kelly and I saw the advertisement for the Foster and Adopt Movement. So, we contacted them.

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We set up with them the next training session. And it was all day sessions.

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Was it Saturday? Yeah, on Saturdays. How many Saturdays? Do you remember? I have a horrible memory.

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I think it was five Saturdays and they were all day sessions, but we were still in the...

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There was still some COVID things happening. So, they were all day virtual sessions.

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Normally, it would have been 10 sessions and they would have been a little shorter, like three or four hours.

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I don't know exactly the number, but it would have been a few, like 10 sessions for just a few hours in their training room.

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But because there was still some COVID things happening, they had not gone back to live training.

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Yeah, and I personally enjoyed the online Zoom training that they had. I mean, we were in the comfort of our home.

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We could get our coffee or whatever we needed. For me, it was nice.

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I don't know if they actually offered that. I didn't know what they were doing during that time, how they were completing their training.

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But I'm so glad they did find a way to do that because, man, that would have really put a big stumbling block in the path of a lot of people trying to be qualified to foster kids.

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And it would have left a whole lot more kids without a home. I'm glad they did that. Didn't know they were doing it, but I'm glad to hear that,

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Robert. Oh, we had a shift on the fly really quickly, Jody. It was one of those things that, it was being invented as we kind of went through it.

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And as trainings would pop up, we'd have people that say, yeah, we can do that online. And they didn't mind doing it.

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And that even continued after the COVID restrictions were lifted. So, John, tell me how many hours through BCH and through the state of North Carolina, our training here in North Carolina might be different than the

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Erickson's. So explain what our training is like here. Well, in North Carolina, we have 30 hours that we're required to basically train potential foster parents.

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And in that training, we basically go through a whole host of what they're going to experience during fostering.

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We try to, anyway. There's no experience like doing it though. But our biggest focus is we have this product called the

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CARE product. And in that product, we basically train foster parents on how to work with the children that are placed in their home and really how to deal with different things that might occur during their placements.

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But the training itself, we do offer sometimes during the week. It just depends on what the needs are for the trainees.

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We do do it on Saturdays and Sundays if that's a need as well. So it's one of those things, we're kind of flexible to try to meet the needs of the people that are interested in becoming foster parents.

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But the biggest thing is the 30 hours. Yeah. So like in Louisiana.

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To be honest with you, we haven't had training. The first question

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I asked the DCFS caseworker was, don't I need to be trained for this? And they said, well, under the circumstances, because it's an emergency placement, we're what they consider fictive kin.

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So we're not really kin, but we're fictive kin. And so we didn't have any training.

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They just placed them with us. We're going through the certification process right now to be certified foster parents.

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But training has not even been brought up to us yet. And so we're not even sure how many hours.

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I think we were supposed to, when we tried it a few years ago, I think there were five classes. That sounds about right.

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Yeah, so like five courses, maybe two hours long. So 10 hours maybe of those courses.

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But then they'll do the home development stuff and fingerprinting and background checks. They've already done most of that.

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But we just got to do the home development stuff now. I think that can happen sometimes in North Carolina, John, but it's rarer in,

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I think, our area. Am I correct on that? Well, it does occur and they do have emergency placements and the only requirement that's needed there is to have court approval.

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The judge has to sign off on it. Once the judge signs on it, that placement can continue. And each time they have a court hearing, it has to be addressed.

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But they want them to get their training done as quickly as they possibly can. There's a twofold reason for that. One is monetary.

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But secondly is that that way the court doesn't have to keep saying, hey, they're in an unlicensed placement.

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Because eventually it's going to be looked into why they're placed with unlicensed. But with the

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Erickson's, they're expressing and having that heart to work for this child. And a 17 -year -old's tough to place anyway.

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Yeah. Yeah. The older children are tougher to find homes for a short and long -term basis.

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They really are. Right. She's three months from 18. Although she's three months from 18.

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So that might be another reason too. So she's so close to that age. They've actually let her sign and attempt to stay with us until she's 21.

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So we're hoping that, because I'm pretty sure we're not going to get to adopt her before she's 18. But maybe they'll still let us adopt her once we get all the paperwork and stuff done.

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But she will be over 18 when it happens. I'm sure she'll be able to have a large say in that because of her age, that a judge would take her wishes under consideration.

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That if you have a desire to adopt her and she has a desire to be adopted, hopefully that will not be as hard. We're praying so.

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For sure. So Tripp, you've heard a little bit. I know John described North Carolina.

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They described a little bit about what they're going through. Louisiana. I'm going to change the question for you a little bit. What was a surprise to you in your training?

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Did anything surprise you or did anything catch you off guard? I believe in the training that we did, and we were licensed originally with another agency.

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And so I think the training that we went through had a lot, there were a lot of like scenarios in real life kind of explaining situations and these kinds of things.

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And some of them were shocking to us. And we actually, our licensing person, we had conversations like, do these things really happen?

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And her answer was more than you know. And so now we know that that is the case, but that was the thing for us was just all that happens in the life of these children many times before they come out of their homes and are placed in foster care.

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Tripp and Missy, what's been the most frustrating part for you? I would say bio parents still have a ton of rights and it's frustrating sometimes when if bio parents are not holding their end of the load or they're just not following through with the things that's required of them, it's still kind of in their court.

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So that's just been something to learn. It's been a learning curve for us, but there's always opportunity to minister to the bio parents because just like the

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Lord loves those babies, he loves them too. How about Robert and Kelly?

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Any frustrations when you guys came or coming into the system? What has been your biggest frustration? I'll say for me, during the training, the biggest frustration for me was we didn't, and I'm not sure how the training is through you guys through the

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Baptist State Convention about Baptist Children's Home. So we went through our local county.

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So with that being said, you have to take in consideration the possibility of a different faith of an individual or a family coming into your home than your own.

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And so we wrestled with how do you deal with that of a child of a different faith, a different religion coming into your home and what we would do with that.

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And then the only other thing for me that's been frustrating, which is probably mostly my fault is the re -education or the education classes that you have to take to get re -licensed.

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Trying to get all those hours in and fit that in the schedule. Okay. John, what are some of the licensing frustrations you had on your side being a licensor?

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What were you frustrated with? From a licensing perspective, it's a challenge sometimes because there is a large big notebook of papers that have to be done for the application process.

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And it's challenging for the foster parents. And they have a heart to work with children.

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They have a heart to go ahead and the children place with them, but they're having to fill out all this paperwork and get it all done.

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And it's a state requirement, but still it's just the challenge that they have to go through that.

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And it's like Robert was expressing about the training that you have to do after you're licensed.

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In the Baptist Children's Home, we require 20 hours every two years and that's per foster parent.

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So that's 40 hours in the household that they have to do. And that's in addition to their standard requirements of CPR and bloodborne pathogens and all the other different state requirements that are there.

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So the license component is a challenge when you think about the foster parents and everything that they're already providing to the children and to our communities.

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And on top of that, they're having to do all the other extra things that we're asking them to do. We'll just do a check again, make sure everybody's hearing okay.

25:04

Everybody able to hear the sound and are we back on okay? Yes, we're back on. Sorry about that. No, no, no, that's okay.

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I just want to do that every once in a while and make sure we're all together. We can still hear we're all together. Trent, Missy, I want to start with you.

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I want to ask you, what would you tell somebody? What would you tell somebody who's coming into fostering?

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If they're just coming into it, what's something they need to know they might not be aware of? That might be a loaded question,

25:31

Jody. Gosh. You just can't wear your heart on your sleeve.

25:42

I talked about this at his church. So go ahead. And then I'm gonna get back to Robert real quick. There's so much acclimating and transitioning that happens on a daily moment by moment basis for us, for the children that we already care for, for our new placements.

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Daily just working out. We have, just based on the children that we've cared for so far, it takes about six months for there to begin a good foundation of trust.

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So it's a lot, a lot of work, but it's worth it. And I think one of the things -

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Why don't you share with me at your church? Remember when we were talking about kids coming and going sometimes in the home? I'm gonna ask you to share with me how you dealt with that.

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Cause I don't want to take your thunder, but I never forgot that comment you shared with me. Sheriff, I want to go back to you cause

26:44

I think you wanted to say something, but you may have to refresh my memory on that comment.

26:50

I'm sorry if I cut you off, but go ahead. I was just going to say that, one of the things that almost everybody says is

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I couldn't do that because I would get attached. And the thing we say in response to that is you are going to get attached.

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You are going to bond with the child. I mean, there are relationships that are built and I don't believe that you can do it right if you're not attached, if you don't form a bond.

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I mean, the child needs to know that you love him or her, that those connections are there.

27:39

That's an important thing. Robert, do you remember that discussion now?

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I can't recall the quote. Refresh my memory. I remember asking you, how do you do it and not get attached to the children, knowing that they may be pulled or they may go back to their parents.

27:56

And you said something to me. I just wanted to see if you remember that or explain how you deal with that then. Well, I'm not

28:04

Robert, but for me, there was a book that I had read after our first placement that I wish

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I had read prior to our first placement because it so clearly just laid out what

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I felt like, well, what I wish I had known, but it was go all in with your heart, but guard your mind.

28:33

That's what you said to me, Robert. You said, I've heard some people say, you got to guard your heart, got to guard your heart.

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You can't let your heart get into it. You said to me, no. No, you go all in with your heart, but what you have to do is prepare your mind that they could go back home.

28:49

And that's what I never forgot from you too. You guys shared from a different perspective that Sunday and I never forgot that.

28:55

Yeah. And another thing too is on the spiritual side of things, it is a real exercise in trusting the sovereignty of God.

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I mean, you come up with all these scenarios of what's best for that child, but you have really no say so.

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The only control that you have is when they are with you. And then you have no control when they come, when they leave and what happens to them, what happened to them prior and what happens to them or what they're going through when they leave.

29:29

So it is a true exercise in trusting in sovereignty of God that he's got everything in his hands and he's got everything under control and that all things will work out together for good for those that love him and called according to his purpose.

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And so it is, if you want training and trusting in the

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Lord, foster care is where to be. I'm gonna ask

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James and Bethany, how do you prepare your heart and mind? Now, I understand it's a little bit different because you have a desire to adopt this young lady and she has a desire to stay, but how do you guard yourself against, those things that can come in your mind?

30:13

You wanna tackle that one? Wow. We communicate a lot with each other and we let her be involved in that too, because I think sometimes with her being 17, she probably has felt in her life that she hasn't had a say or she's had too much of a say where there wasn't a good balance where she either was having to parent herself or not getting any supervision.

30:35

So we're having to learn to teach her how to look at God's word, how to pray, how to wait for answers, things like that.

30:43

And we're having to do it as a team. And sometimes we've messed up and we've had to say, you know what, we thought about this and after we prayed about it and thought about it, we probably should have said it this way to you and not this way.

30:54

And so she's had to learn to be patient with us and we've had to learn to be patient with her. Well, I appreciate your honesty about even saying sometimes maybe you didn't say the right thing or maybe you, after thinking about it, thought you should have done it a different way.

31:07

I think honesty, especially in teenagers, I'm learning that now. Trust me, I have an 18 year old and a 21 year old and I'm learning that just tell them when you messed up.

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You know, I didn't handle that right or what. Just being honest with them is a big deal. Tripp, I'm gonna drop down to you and Missy.

31:23

I wanna ask you, tell me something rewarding that's happened to you guys since you started fostering. Give me one rewarding experience.

31:33

So our second placement came in July of 2022 and he was with us until the week before Thanksgiving of 2023.

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And during that time, we taught him about the

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Lord. We took him to church. And when he went home, he did a trial home with his mom.

32:04

And during that time, we stayed in contact with her and just supported her.

32:10

I don't know how much support she had outside of her

32:16

BSS top team, but we got to see her reunite with him and she regained full custody just last week.

32:28

And it was amazing because she is stronger and just that the

32:34

Lord gave us the opportunity to be part of her encouragement is such a blessing and they're doing great.

32:42

You know, I think the goal, I hope the goal for most organizations, whether it's the state or an organization is if we can reunite a child with their parents and make it healthy or create a healthy environment, that's what we want to do.

32:57

So I'm glad to hear that you had the opportunity to steward that child while the mom was doing whatever she needed to do to get things in order and to be healthy financially or otherwise, get things right, and then able to receive that child back again.

33:11

We want to hear the rewarding experiences, even though they're tough on you guys, we want to hear the rewarding experiences.

33:17

So Robert, Kelly, what has been a rewarding experience for you guys? I'll go,

33:25

I have something. So we've mainly had younger children. And so what has been the most rewarding for us thus far is being seeing the growth in the children, whether it be the natural growth that would happen, you know, wherever they are, rolling over, crawling, taking their first steps.

33:49

It's, oh, it's so beautiful. And, but then also the other growth that we see in the children, where they were and where they come and seeing that growth in between has been so rewarding, just, you know, to see some of the fruit of our labor working with these children.

34:10

I think for, I think just one moment that sticks out for me is with our first placement, we had a three -year -old girl and it was sometime probably was between late

34:27

December and sometime in January, we had done bath time and all that.

34:33

And we were just kind of winding down for the evening and she'd gotten a book for Christmas. And if I'm not mistaken, the book was like a

34:42

Paw Patrol book or something that some little show that kids are interested in.

34:47

And she's sitting and she's turning the page and page after page that she's turning, she's saying, she's thinking that she's reading it, saying,

34:55

Jesus loves me. Jesus loves me. Jesus loves me over and over.

35:00

And I thought for the longest time, who knew that all the times that we took her to church, if it was making a difference and it absolutely did.

35:09

Amen. How about you, the Erickson's? What's something rewarding that has happened to you along the journey so far?

35:15

What kind of experience can you share with us? Well, with her being 17, it's been quite different because we haven't been able to instill in her the things that we would teach our own children if we had them.

35:28

And so we're having to go back. At first, we thought, we're gonna just go in there gung -ho and we're gonna tell her how it's gonna be and what we expect and all this stuff.

35:35

But when she came, we saw that she was very fragile and that was not gonna resonate with her. So we've had to take little tiny baby steps.

35:42

And so we're having to address little bitty things at a time. And so it's not that we're seeing huge, huge growth all at once, but we're seeing a little bit of growth every day.

35:51

And just her becoming more aware of her own actions and what she says and what she does has grown a whole lot.

35:57

And we've seen her grow spiritually as well. And so for that, we're very grateful.

36:03

She goes to the altar almost every Sunday. She's just got a lot that she's trying to work out and sort through with God and forgiving others and things like that.

36:12

So we've been able to help her along with that process. One of those things is recognizing that her room is dirty.

36:21

Okay, like when she first came here, it was like - She didn't care. Didn't care. And then we would have to point it out to her.

36:28

Now, like she'll walk in and be like, this room is a mess. And we're like, yes. Now we can just get to the action part of it where she'll wanna clean it by herself without us saying, hey, you need to clean your room.

36:40

But one step at a time. One step at a time. And next week, we're having baptism service and she's gonna get baptized.

36:46

Oh, man. Praise the Lord. So that's another rewarding experience. Amen. She's experiencing spiritual breakthroughs and that's been humongous for us.

36:55

Now look, I wanna stay with you guys. My next question for everybody is gonna be this. I want you to share your why.

37:02

Why are you doing this? Why did you get involved? Why change your life? Why do all of this training?

37:08

Why? I wanna go back to the question real quick, Jody. The children that were placed with us was about 14 years ago and they were placed for a respite for a weekend is what we started out and it ended up being six weeks.

37:25

So what do you think a blessing was during that period? Just hopefully that we were able to touch their life and have an influence on them.

37:34

We did take them to church. They were involved in church and just seeing them interact with the other ones there.

37:45

That's right. And John, I mean, John, tell me your, let me stay with you. Tell me your why. Why are you doing what you're doing right now?

37:52

What pulled you? I knew that there was a calling for me to work with children earlier on when

37:57

I was working with adults in probation parole. I didn't know how it was transitional, what I was gonna look like. For me, the

38:03

Lord called me to be a guardian and a lot of program supervisor. Wasn't looking for a change in a career, but here it was,

38:09

I had eight years left with the state and I'm changing everything. I don't know anything about the guardian program, didn't know nothing about what

38:15

I was getting into. Well, then I really wasn't looking at retiring and Baptist Children's Home had this foster care case manager position open up.

38:23

I put in for it. And my why seriously is just because I know the

38:28

Lord has a direction and a path and I'm just trying to be true to what he has in store for us as a family, but me personally too.

38:36

Well, I remember when I met you, it's been almost two years ago. We talked, we met again.

38:42

I think we had lunch someplace together with your pastor and I knew God had a calling in your life and we were talking about that.

38:48

You know, we were talking and calling can be different. It can look different. Every calling is not the calling to vocational pulpit ministry, but the reason why

38:56

I'm asking the why is, well, I'm gonna go back to the Erickson's and I'll finish it up or I'll get to where I wanna go with that eventually, but tell me your why.

39:06

Why are you doing this? Well, I've always had a compassionate heart and I've always,

39:12

I mean, I've read in the Bible, you know, have compassion on the widows and the orphans. So that's always been in the back of my mind, but I will just go ahead and be honest.

39:21

You know, me working in the school system, I feel like I can love the kids, but I can't really like tell them about Jesus, tell them about God.

39:27

So I really didn't feel like I was like leading people to Christ. And I prayed about it.

39:33

I'm like, Lord, you know, I wanna do more to lead people to Christ and disciple people. And I just don't feel like I'm getting that opportunity.

39:39

Well, what better way than to actually open up your house and have someone come into your household and every day you're showing them

39:45

Jesus, every day you get to talk and pray with them. And so I just feel like I have such a huge sense of purpose now that I didn't quite have.

39:53

I knew, I know that God has me where I'm at as a speech therapist as well, but I just felt like I needed more.

40:00

And I feel like just things are just happening. And we're seeing God work in such miraculous ways that we haven't seen before.

40:08

And I've always wanted to be a parent. I just didn't ever realize I was gonna be ready to be a parent.

40:15

And so when this kind of came upon us, it was like, this is our opportunity. And like I told the caseworker,

40:22

I was like, we're seeing nothing but green lights, no red lights, no caution signs.

40:27

Let's go forward because I think this is really what God has been preparing us for for a long time.

40:33

We just, we didn't realize it. And then when he started speaking and showing it was, it was exactly what we needed to do.

40:38

And I was all for it, so. Thank you. Tripp, Missy, why, why's your why?

40:44

Why are you in this? You wanna tell? Our kids in our community who struggled with food insecurity, we were very naive to the needs of children who are placed in DSS custody.

41:09

And I would just wanna bring them home from church every Wednesday night. Well, I couldn't bring them home because they had a home to go to.

41:17

And there were two children specifically who would bury food in our church park, church playground.

41:29

And it was heartbreaking. And once I was free from cancer and chemo and radiation were finished, and we knew that that was behind us,

41:40

I said, we'll just take as many as we can take and we'll feed them until they're full. Robert, Kelly, what is your why?

41:51

You wanna go? I think originally our why was we were not able to have children together.

42:01

So we were looking mainly at adoption to maybe complete our family.

42:08

But I think our why has changed. I think our why has become service to the

42:14

Lord. When we built this house a little over four years ago, one of the things that Robert said is,

42:21

I want to use our home for ministry in some way. We've been blessed to have a good home and that was his desire.

42:32

And I think without him knowing, the

42:37

Lord worked and using our home for ministry has become foster care.

42:47

And we are called to serve the least of these and who is more least of these than children?

42:54

I mean, children who are in foster care, they absolutely need the love and security and that's our why.

43:03

Thank you. John, Joanne, I wanna ask you, come back to you.

43:08

We're all in church, we're all involved in local church, pastors, elders, we're in our local church as servants.

43:17

What do you think, start with you, John and Joanne, what do you think is the role of the church in dealing with foster care?

43:26

I think it's really everything. I think the church is where we go to fulfill or to fill our needs and be fed and we can have our children be fed at the same time.

43:38

And we also provide the feeding too, because like you said, we're all in different roles.

43:44

I mean, I'm in a Sunday school class, but everybody that's in my Sunday school class is really over about the age of 70.

43:50

My oldest one in my class is getting ready to turn 90. So it's a witness, it's a testimony.

43:57

It's really just everything wrapped up into one when you consider what the church means to the fostering system.

44:03

And I think it's really huge. We were trained too by our local DSS as well.

44:09

But when I came over to Baptist Children's Home and went to my very first training, we opened and closed with prayer.

44:16

And for me, that was huge. Robert, what do you think is part of the role of the local church in dealing with foster care and foster crisis?

44:29

I would just reiterate what John said. One of the main functions of the church is to make disciples, to feed the sheep.

44:40

And we're teaching God's word to the adults, to the children, and also equipping them spiritually, but also physically.

44:55

And then as to the best of their ability, you guys know as well as I do, there's so many different ministries and places that we could place our resources.

45:09

And so we just get spread so thin. But if you have foster parents in your church, then they're there and you can minister them and you can provide resources for them.

45:23

So I think those are good ways that the church can continue to help in the foster care.

45:33

And can I add to that as well to that question? I know for our church, since we didn't have kids and we've been here for eight years, they were so used to us being involved in everything and being at everything and just being kind of at their beck and call really, if you will.

45:50

They're very sweet, generous people, but we were always available. And now we're just not. And so they've had to learn to kind of just sacrifice and understand and realize we can't go to every funeral.

46:01

We can't go to every basketball game. We're just not as available. And they've been okay with that.

46:06

They've been supportive and they've been caring and they've actually prayed with us and encouraged us when, if we tell them the situation, they're always just so loving and concerned and supportive.

46:18

And so I just think them having to learn how to give up some time and sacrifice that, we've been grateful for that.

46:25

And I guess the same thing with making the disciples, it's a disciple making process that we're in when we're fostering.

46:34

And the church is a part of that process. We make sure that our daughter wakes up to go to Sunday school, because we want her to get the word.

46:42

We make sure she's, even though she's not regularly gets up, sometimes we make sure she gets into the church because we want her to be encouraged by God's word and by the music or something.

46:53

And she's got a beautiful singing voice. Well, she started singing with the praise team. And there was a little question of, could we actually let her get on Facebook live because of certain circumstances with legal things?

47:05

And we're like, you know what? How can we stymie her growth and spiritual growth if she is willingly wanting to get up and praise

47:12

God for what he's done for her? And so we were just like, you know what? God will take care of that. God will take care of that.

47:18

So just let her sing. And she sings up there and you can hear loud and proud singing to the top of her lungs.

47:26

She's probably singing in her room right now. Giving God praise for what he's done for her. Trent, Missy, what do you think the role of the church is in helping to come outside of you?

47:37

Or what do you think the role of the church is in general for foster care? We are actually in the process of assembling a team that will help minister here at River Hill Refuge.

47:53

And I had a conversation with a dear lady just a few days ago.

48:00

And her question was kind of just what you've asked.

48:06

What can we do? What needs to be done? And I think a lot of times folks look at the circumstances and they think that they need to have a lot of money or the church needs to have a big budget or we need to have a huge team of people.

48:30

And our church has none of those things. And, but the thing that I told her was they need you and the relationship that you can build with them.

48:46

They need to see you consistently and smile at them, say hello, talk to them, acknowledge that they're in the room.

48:58

And that can have, I mean, that can do a lot more for these children who have been most of the time severely neglected than a lot of money can do or something like that.

49:15

I mean, they are starved for love and attention.

49:22

And that is one thing that some of our folks at our church are doing well.

49:30

And I appreciate that. And I'm hoping that that will kind of become the foundation for the churches they minister here to the other families.

49:43

Well, look, I think you hit something, you hit the nail on the head on this one particular issue. I think we don't mean to,

49:51

I think this is something that's really an honest mistake in most churches in America.

49:58

We in America can provide resources, we can provide money, we can help people buy them a crib, we can get them a car seat, we can get food, we can buy diapers, we can do all the things, we can get them the resources, but we forget every

50:09

Sunday, every child needs to be talked to. Every child needs to, you know, just like any other kid that would walk into that church, they need to be spoken to, they need to be acknowledged, they need to be brought into a conversation.

50:23

And that's where I think for whatever reason we struggle in churches to do is just to treat them like a normal person.

50:29

That's right. And I see that now that I'm in the ministry that I'm in now, I see that, because if I asked,

50:35

I could call five churches tonight, I could get resources by tomorrow morning. What I can't do is teach people yet,

50:43

I can't teach people yet to just treat someone like a normal person, no matter what their circumstances are, get to know them, take some time to get to know them and treat them like a normal person.

50:55

Look, my last question is to everybody. I'm gonna pause you there for a second. Yeah. I think in our church, we've had such wonderful support and I think they do, we're a small church and they have done a phenomenal job.

51:14

But I think they do, they're exceptional because it's not just,

51:24

I think it's more than just showing them that they should be seen and taught to, they need to be shown that they're worthy.

51:31

They are worthy children of the Lord and that should be, aside from the home, that should be somewhere that they can receive that and know that.

51:45

And I think our church has done a really good job with any of the children that we have brought in.

51:51

Anybody else wanna chime in on that? I think our church, when we were fostering, it was just a family and there's no other way to express it because when they'd go to church, everybody would be talking to them.

52:04

It was just a continuous thing the entire time we had the children with us. Well, look, let's close this thing out with some biblical perspective a little bit here.

52:15

First of all, thank y 'all for coming on. It's kind of a general, tonight was just general. Let's try this, let's bring some people together, let's have a conversation.

52:22

We're hoping maybe this will minister to people in our communities and draw people who are in foster care.

52:28

Maybe this can be a place where we can talk about things or come together and talk about a topic or just get the word out there.

52:35

We're trying this, you know, maybe the Lord's gonna bless us in a way that we can't see yet. That's what I'm hoping for. I think that's what

52:40

Robert's hoping for in all of this. And I hope so too. But when we bring this all together from a biblical perspective, well,

52:48

I wanna know what is your biblical convictions on why we even need to do this? And I'm not just gonna let anybody start.

52:55

Well, I mean, I know it's a broad question, but what is the biblical perspective? Why should we do this? I think we're commanded to,

53:03

I mean, tells us to take care of the widows and the orphans. I mean, it's pretty clear. And, you know,

53:10

Jesus says, let the little children come to me. Even when the disciples were like, no, they don't need to let the children come to Jesus.

53:16

He's like, no, no, they need the attention. They bring them here. And sometimes in our communities, we don't want to mess with the dirty.

53:26

We don't wanna mess with the messy things that they're going through because that might tarnish the image of the church.

53:32

But that's not what we're supposed to be doing. That's not the biblical conviction I have. It's we need to get down in the dirt with them.

53:38

We've gotta go to where they are to meet where they are. And in our situation right now, we're in a rough situation.

53:45

This past week has been rough to say the least, as far as from legal standpoints and different areas of this.

53:54

And sometimes even fear comes in there, but we're like, no, we're not gonna let that happen because we know who this child is.

54:02

And another part of this is being adopted as sons and daughters of God.

54:08

And I preached on that a few weeks ago. One of the first sermons she heard me preach, and I mentioned the word adoption.

54:15

And I was talking in a spiritual sense, but she just started bawling.

54:22

And to her, that meant something different. And I realized what her perspective was is, are you saying that God wants me to be his daughter?

54:31

And it's like, yeah, he does. He wants you to be his daughter.

54:37

And not just this, he's up here and you're down here thing. It's a relationship and she's learning that.

54:45

And you can see it in a different perspective now for her. So that's fine. And we do know the value of adoption because James's dad was actually adopted.

54:54

And I just feel like - From Sweden. From Sweden. And so I just think being adopted can change the trajectory of everybody, really.

55:05

Because if that didn't happen, then we may not have been married. He may not be a pastor, all kinds of sorts of things.

55:12

And so God has a purpose and a plan. And then here, look at us, we're able to help others now that need to be adopted.

55:20

Mm -hmm. Yeah, I think it's a gospel issue as well. If you look overwhelmingly at professing

55:29

Christians in their lives, to me, there seems to be overwhelmingly two different paths.

55:35

You have the professing Christian that checks off the boxes and then they go to church and they check off the box, but then the rest of their life is kind of their own.

55:46

But then you have the other professing Christian that is showing fruits of the gospel.

55:52

The gospel that says, I realized who I was apart from Christ. I realized who

55:59

I was and what I needed, that I was dead in my trespasses and sin. I was on my way to eternal punishment, rightly so, because of a holy

56:12

God that I've sinned against. And look what Jesus did for me. How can

56:17

I not live my life in gratitude for him and obeying his word and doing things for others?

56:23

So I think it's a, from a biblical standpoint, it's a gospel issue.

56:31

I think for us, we had a youth mission trip we were on. And in that particular trip, we took a test to see what our skills were, to see what our talents were.

56:43

And we both ended up testing a service, was our number one talent.

56:49

And we already kind of knew that just from our past experiences and working in church and working in the community and the different things that we did, but it just kind of solidified it for us as a family, as a couple.

57:04

I think it's just, for us, service in our church, service in our community, service with the youth, service with the children, service now with the foster families.

57:16

It's just a huge component of our lives. And it goes back to the gospel.

57:25

Jody, I think that, when I consider what

57:33

Christ has done in my life, in our lives, since we have been married, the places that the

57:47

Lord has brought us from and the places he's brought us to, there's no way that I can, there's no way that I can not be involved in helping to see someone else's life changed.

58:15

You know, for me personally, the things that we do, that Missy and I do, whether it's with children, and most of the children, not all, but most of the children that we have fostered come from broken homes and there's drug history and all of these things there.

58:38

And those things are part of my past. And those things are part of what

58:45

I have been redeemed from and what God has worked in me and the redemption that I have experienced.

58:55

And so to be able to, I mean, our nine -year -old little boy who we have adopted, we've had conversations that dad wasn't always a preacher.

59:10

And there's a past there and there are things there, but this is what

59:16

God has done in dad's life. And he has brought change and he can, in that same way, he can change.

59:26

I believe and we pray every night for bio parents that God would work his grace in and through their lives and he would transform them in a radical way for his glory so that these children can see their parents whole and healed.

59:44

And I believe that this process and what God has called us to do is part of his redemption plan.

59:54

And not one child that we have had has ever come to us and said, oh yes, we went to church every

01:00:02

Sunday and I was brought up. It was just the total opposite. They've never been in church before.

01:00:10

They've never heard the name of Jesus. And when we're in the car and one of those little babies starts saying

01:00:17

Jesus while we're singing a song or something for the first time, it just melts my heart because to hear a child say the name of Jesus for the first time is such a blessing.

01:00:31

And so that's, you know, it's gospel work every single day.

01:00:40

Yeah, I agree. Look, I wanna kind of wrap us up tonight and I wanna say to you that as a pastor,

01:00:46

I see adoption all through the Bible. I see God using adoption from Genesis in the garden.

01:00:53

You know, God, I think we could agree that God could have created man and woman any way he wanted to.

01:01:00

He could have spoke them into existence. He could have made them differently. I mean, the word of God tells us how he did it. He doesn't have to explain that to us, but I think we can agree he could have created them any way he wanted to.

01:01:09

And I've always thought it was interesting that he did not create Adam and Eve with parents and he didn't create

01:01:15

Adam and Eve with grandparents or with children already. And I see it was God's desire in the garden.

01:01:22

He wanted and longed to be their provider and be their father. I mean, there's no doubt about that. He walked with them.

01:01:28

He gave them dominion and stewardship over the garden. He gave them every opportunity to accept his free gifts that were in the garden.

01:01:37

But yet, even when they messed up, as we continue through the Bible, the gospel, the good news is adoption because made a way through Jesus Christ.

01:01:48

And as Jesus comes into the world, it is through Jesus Christ that we are adopted into God's family.

01:01:54

And because he died on the cross and because he was resurrected three days later and can claim victory over life and death, anyone who calls upon his name, they shall be saved.

01:02:06

And the gospel is adoption and adoption is the gospel. That's right. So this work is important to me.

01:02:13

And I share your passion. I think we're all coming at it from different ways and different perspectives.

01:02:19

Some are fostering and hoping to adopt older. Some are dealing with younger children. John is licensing families to come and do this work that you're talking about.

01:02:28

I'm a proponent. I promote it. I'm out there being a face every Sunday somewhere in North Carolina, talking about the needs that we have in the state for foster care and adoption.

01:02:40

But you know, if anybody might stumble across our little podcast tonight,

01:02:46

I want someone to know what the gospel is and to clearly hear what the gospel is.

01:02:52

And so Tripp, explain how somebody could know who Jesus Christ is and what the gospel is. Well, the gospel is the revelation of God.

01:03:06

It is fulfilled in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ.

01:03:12

He came and was born of a virgin. He lived a perfect sinless life.

01:03:21

And while he lived his life on earth, he performed all sorts of miracles and just wonderful works throughout his life.

01:03:34

However, he was rejected by the very ones that he came to redeem.

01:03:42

And ultimately he died the death of a murderer's death, a thief's death on the cross.

01:03:54

And he took his last breaths on the cross, but in a great victorious proclamation, he declared it is finished.

01:04:07

And what was finished was the work that the father had sent him to do in revealing who he was and in his grace and his mercy, his great love for mankind.

01:04:20

But that wasn't the end of course. The Lord Jesus was buried in a tomb, his body was placed there.

01:04:28

And then three days later, he walked out of the tomb. He arose victorious over death, hell and the grave, and then ascended and today sits at the right hand of majesty, right hand of the father on high.

01:04:43

And there's coming a day, that's not even the end. There's coming a day and the Lord Jesus will return for those that are his, and he will also return to set all things right as God intended them to be at his second coming.

01:05:05

So we rejoice in that truth. And it is all of those things together that is the gospel and victory is available through the

01:05:17

Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. And those who will place their faith in him, I just hope that somebody will stumble across this and that maybe they'll listen to what all that you guys are doing and how you're using your lives and your homes to impact kingdom work and realize that it can be discipleship and stewardship and relationship building and life changing.

01:05:41

And we have the opportunity to introduce kids to the Lord Jesus Christ while we have them. They'll know his name.

01:05:48

Like many of you at Baptist Children's Homes, our statistics say that 80 % of our kids are unchurched when they come to us and care.

01:05:57

So it is a huge mission field. Yes sir. And we need to see it as that. I mean, these kids are a mission field and they are worthy.

01:06:06

They are worthy to hear the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. And so I'm grateful for each and every one of you coming on tonight.

01:06:12

And for Robert kind of spearheading this and asking us to come on, maybe this is something that we can choose to do and we'll do it more topically as we go along or however the

01:06:22

Lord lays out on Robert's heart. And we'll talk about that later, really. John, I'd like for you, if you would, to close us out tonight with a word of prayer, my friend.

01:06:30

Absolutely. Let's go to the Lord in prayer. Father God, we just love you and thank you for who you are.

01:06:36

Father, we just know that in you all things are possible. And Father, we just thank you for that.

01:06:41

We thank you for the families that are looking to be foster families and to work with the children that are in such need in our communities, in our state, in our nation.

01:06:52

Father, we just know that you have all things under control. And again, we are so thankful for that. I just lift up each need that's possible that's out there.

01:07:01

Father, you know what they are and we just ask you to touch them, that you guide and direct us and that you be with us. But more importantly,

01:07:07

Father, forgive us where we fail you. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. Amen. Hey guys, y 'all go into the mission field right after we get off this.

01:07:16

And I know you've got the mission field in your homes and I wanna thank you for it. Okay guys, we'll see you later.

01:07:21

Thanks a couple. Yeah, thank you everybody for watching the Truth and Love podcast again. And thank you,

01:07:27

Jodi, for moderating this. If you have any questions about fostering, if you have any questions about the gospel, if you're looking for a local church in your area, any questions you have about fostering or Christianity about the

01:07:39

Lord Jesus Christ, this episode will be on social media. Leave a comment, send a message, or you can go to Truth and Love Network and send an email through that.