The Power Of Reconciliation

Silicon Valley Reformed Baptist Church

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Please turn in your Bible to Luke 17, Luke 17. At this point, the scripture,

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Jesus still concerned about the importance of following the law of God from which no stroke will pass away, but now turning away from the

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Pharisees and speaking again to the disciples about his particular concern for them.

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When you have Luke 17, please stand for the reading of God's word. I will go ahead and read all the way to verse 10, even though the verses we'll be looking at today are particularly the first four.

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And he said to his disciples, temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come.

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It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin.

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Pay attention to yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him. And if he repents, forgive him.

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And if he sins against you seven times in the day and turns to you seven times saying, I repent, you must forgive him.

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The apostle said to the Lord, increase our faith. And the Lord said, if you had faith like the grain of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, be uprooted and planted in the sea, and it would obey you.

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Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, come at once and recline at table?

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Will he not rather say to him, prepare supper for me and dress properly and serve me while I eat and drink and afterward you will eat and drink?

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Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that was commanded, but were commanded, say, we are unworthy servants.

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We have only done what was our duty. These are the words of the Lord, amen.

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You may be seated. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for your word.

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We come to you knowing that it is only by the power of your spirit that this word will pierce our hearts and transform us, and so we ask today that he would do so.

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We pray that you would give us hearts that desire the good of our brother, love for them, reconciliation.

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In Jesus' name, amen. The situation that we face is one that is fraught with much gravity.

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This is a very serious assembly that we are in. This is a very serious community. A lot of people treat church like a social club, but it is, certainly it is social, but it is much more than a social club.

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This is more like an army. An army, there are great dangers that are around. There is a great need for all of us to be watching over one another, to beware of the attacks of the enemy.

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And the instruction that Jesus gives here in order that we do so properly is a very simple one.

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It is the following, rebuke, forgive, repeat. Rebuke, forgive, repeat.

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And it is really that simple. Now while we will look at what it means to rebuke and to forgive, and then what it means to repeat that, it's important first that we understand the need for this.

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Why would we need to rebuke? Why would we need to forgive? Why would we need to do this over and over and over again?

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Well, the answer begins here. And he said to his disciples, temptations to sin are sure to come.

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Very simply put, sin is a transgression of the law of God. This is something that is very grave.

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The Bible says that the wages of sin is death. One who sins is in grave danger.

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And so a temptation, something that draws someone into that sin, makes them desire that sin, is of course something else that is very grave.

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Now the context of all this is immediately after the narrative of the rich man and Lazarus.

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One of the most harrowing passages in all of Scripture. When you read this passage, this passage we just read today, maybe your mind immediately thinks about the context in Matthew, because maybe that's where you have most read this passage.

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Maybe you've thought about this in context of God's love for his little ones, for his children, and the emphasis there of how

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God cares so much about his children. That passage in Luke does not come until the next chapter.

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The emphasis here is on the great danger that is facing those who are in temptation.

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That great danger is described in the previous passage. These terrifying fires of hell.

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In fact, the word for temptations here, temptations to sin, is not a phrase temptations to sin.

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It's a word that means a stumbling block, skandalon. It's where we get the English word scandal, something that can destroy you.

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This is talking about a stumbling block. If you look throughout Scripture and look for the word stumbling, you'll see that stumbling is not oh whoops, a little mess up.

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A stumbling refers to a full and final destruction. It refers to a great and terrifying, a terrifying danger.

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And so temptations to sin are sure to come. These are not things that we should think are only rare, rare occurrences.

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Rather, we should have a holy paranoia about us knowing that temptations are sure to come.

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We should not go about our lives thinking that temptations won't come. We should be ready. We should spend time in the word of God and prayer preparing ourselves in order to face temptation.

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Moreover, we shouldn't go into situations where there may be temptations, naively thinking oh there probably won't be temptations this time.

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Note, you must know that temptations are sure to come. And why wouldn't they?

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Why wouldn't they? What is the work of temptation other than the work of the devil?

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What does he desire more to do than to trip up God's children and make them stumble? And then beyond that, beyond Satan's purposes, the tempter's purposes, consider

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God's purposes. What are his purposes for his children? Hebrews 12, 14 says that he desires for us the holiness without which no one will see the

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Lord. He uses trials in his children to produce holiness that is necessary for us.

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And so his purposes also are toward us facing such trials. And then also his purposes are for our ultimate vindication that on that day of judgment, when we stand before God, that it is shown to all the world his goodness in his people.

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And that will not be accomplished apart from his people enduring temptation and succeeding in trial.

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And if these are God's purposes, if these are both the enemy and the Father's purposes, then why would we not expect there to be temptation?

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There will be great temptation. And so let us ready ourselves for these things and not naively think there won't be any.

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And let us not be discouraged when they come. You may be early on in your Christian life and not have faced a great trial yet.

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Maybe you're someone who you've left behind a lot of sinful practices.

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What happens often is that early on in your Christian life you do that and then you fall into temptation or you face temptation and you are surprised that this struggle came about.

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You really thought it was all taken care of and you were never going to face such things ever again. And then you get very discouraged.

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Do not be discouraged by such things. Rather, expect them. That doesn't mean give yourself into temptation.

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Obviously there's a great danger there. But expect these things. Do not go about naively thinking that they won't exist.

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And Jesus continues here, not only talking about temptation but about sources of temptation.

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He says, but woe to the one through whom temptation comes.

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It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin.

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And so if it is a great danger that awaits those who are tempted and stumble, it is an even greater danger that awaits those who are tempting others.

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And once again, why wouldn't this be? We see here God's concern for his children.

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He speaks of them as little ones. In Matthew, this is actually illustrated with a literal child. God has a great concern for his children.

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And as such, the one who tempts those children, the one who causes them to stumble, is in great danger.

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And besides, they are behaving in the very same activity of the enemy himself in engaging in tempting.

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Now, a lot of people might look at this and they might think of this as describing a, this is some kind of hyperbole.

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Better a millstone tied around his neck, you know, imagine a giant stone that you would use to crush grain being tied to your neck and cast into the sea.

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Well, this has to be some kind of hyperbole, right? It can't really be that bad. Well, if you just read the previous passage about Lazarus and the rich man and you realize that the rich man is one who, by his behavior, is teaching others that this is the right way of life, tempting others, you realize that no, this really is the case.

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The first death that we face is so much better than the second death that will be faced by one who is guilty of the great sin of tempting others, of causing them to stumble.

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And so, we do not want to be guilty of such things and we don't want to look at this and say that this is merely hyperbole.

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This is not hyperbole. It is indeed the case. Now, many of you will remember some of the harrowing footage from 9 -11 where there were many people who, when they were faced with the choice between facing the fire or taking the plunge, which one did many of them choose?

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A lot of them knew that the plunge was better than facing the fire. And this is the same kind of danger that we are talking about here, the danger that Jesus is warning us against.

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Now, there are several ways that you could tempt someone. One way, very simply, is by telling them that some sinful behavior is good.

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You know, you might encourage someone, you know, just go ahead and divorce your husband. He doesn't deserve you.

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Or you could say, yeah, just go ahead and treat yourself and indulge in whatever kind of indulgent behavior you're thinking of because you deserve it, and you're encouraging people against what

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God would actually call them to. There are all kinds of ways that you could do that. Another way that people tempt one another is by modeling behavior that is evil.

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This is what you see with the rich man. He's modeling a particular behavior, showing that this is what goodness looks like, and it is not.

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1 Corinthians 8 is concerned particularly about this. Those who would go and eat things, making sacrifice to idols, convincing others, other

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Christians who don't know any better, that this would actually be good to do. And this is what those scriptures refer to as causing one to stumble.

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There's another way that you can cause people to stumble as well. Romans 14 speaks of coercing or pressuring someone into not some good behavior, but some neutral behavior that they are not yet convinced is acceptable before God.

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And so because if you do not have faith, then your activity is unpleasing to God.

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If someone does not have faith that the thing they are doing is right before God, they are sitting in that activity. Now, it is right to encourage people very strongly towards activities that are good, and even, in some sense, towards activities that are neutral, but if you do so in such a way where you are coercing them so that they have not resolved the matter in their own conscience, scripture also refers to this as placing a stumbling block in front of brothers.

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Now, all of those are ways that you could tempt one another. None of those are what

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Jesus speaks of here in that passage. What does he speak of here? He speaks of neglect.

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If temptations to sin are sure to come, then what must our activity be?

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Is it don't do this kind of tempting? Don't do this kind of tempting? Don't do this kind of tempting? No, it is watch out for one another.

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Make sure that you are engaged in the practice of rebuking and forgiving. To not do that would be to neglect.

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It would be to allow temptation to come into their life, to be complicit with that temptation, such that this statement he makes applies to the one who is not doing this.

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Woe to the one through whom that temptation comes. Better for a millstone to be hung around your neck.

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Now, this is not usually how people think of their behavior. People don't usually think of the need to rebuke and to forgive as being something that if they didn't, if they chose not to, that neglect would be regarded as the kind of temptation that Jesus is talking about here.

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But what else is he addressing if not this? Because we are not to tempt one another, we are to rebuke and forgive.

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Now, before I continue on to explain this communal duty that we have,

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I want to stop real quick and make sure that I'm clear that this is not saying, even though this concern is for the disciples, this is not suggesting that one could lose his salvation.

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You know, there are many passages that talk about the fact that the works that God finished, he completes, that we cannot lose our salvation, that we are secure in the hands of Jesus.

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But just as one proof for you, I would say that the Bible says we can have eternal life, it would not be eternal life if it were potentially temporary, would it?

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So the concern here is not about losing salvation, but I will tell you, you can lose your assurance of salvation.

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That is something that scripture says you can lose. That's why Peter tells us to make our calling and election sure.

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And if you've lost your assurance of salvation, you may find that you were never saved to begin with.

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And so that is why this is such a common command in scripture, not because you can't have assurance of your salvation, not because you can lose your salvation, but because there is a real danger that everyone faces regardless, because that assurance can be lost, and because many may be self -deceived.

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Though one can truly know that they are safe in the arms of Christ, many are self -deceived, and so we must continually make our calling and election sure.

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It is only by the grace of Christ that we are saved, but this is a duty he has given us to have us be reassured of that grace of Christ.

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And so when he says, pay attention to yourselves, what does that mean?

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Now at first glance, you might think, okay, this means I need to make sure that I am not tempted.

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Pay attention to yourselves. But if you look at the application he gives, that is not the concern. This is not so much about being tempted as it is about tempting, or being complicit in another's temptation.

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It is not so much about you yourself, it is about others, it's about communal interactions.

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This is not a, this is not something that is just for you, yourself, watch over yourself.

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This is you, your brothers, love your brothers, watch over your brothers. And this is so important because they are brothers.

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You know, there's a family that is created in the gospel. When we become sons of God, we become brothers with one another.

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And we are called to love one another. And that love for one another includes desiring that there be no stumbling, not causing one another to stumble, not engaging in any kind of neglect that would allow others to fall into temptation.

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Now one passage that Jesus might be alluding to, or may just simply be a very similar passage, is in Leviticus 19, 17.

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It says, you shall not hate your brother in your heart, right, if you're not gonna hate them, you're gonna love them.

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But you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him.

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You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

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I am the Lord. And so if we're supposed to love our neighbor as ourself, this being that famous command, how are we to do it?

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By reasoning frankly with them. You might think of loving as being some kind of other act that doesn't involve these kinds of difficult confrontations, rebuking and forgiving, but that is precisely what is involved.

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This is the barest aspects of brotherhood and discipleship, is working through those difficult things.

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And this brotherhood is one that Scripture speaks of in the New Testament as well.

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In 1 John 2, 10, it says, whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling.

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Okay, if you love your brother, you're not going to cause him to stumble. And then later on in the next chapter in John 3, 14, it says, we know that we have passed out of death into life because we love the brothers.

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Whoever does not love abides in death. If you do not love your brothers, you are living in a culture of death.

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You are encouraging death rather than life. The one who truly loves his brother will truly engage in avoiding any kind of stumbling block, avoiding the neglect that would lead one to stumble.

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This is how you know that someone is a brother according to that passage. Real brothers don't let other brothers stumble.

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You know, if you go and you do a DNA test, you could find out whether or not you and someone else are siblings just by amount of shared genes.

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Very similarly, you can tell in this way too, is by seeing whether or not there is a real care and concern for one another.

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You look at the narrative before, the rich man and Lazarus. Who is the rich man care? Who did he care about?

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He cared about his brothers. Now, he showed whose brother he was. He was not the brother of Lazarus.

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He was the brother of his earthly brothers. But you will care about your brothers. And consider that this was one of the first sins too.

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You might think to yourself, do I really need to watch out for my brother? Is that really something that I have to do?

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This is exactly what Cain said. Am I my brother's keeper? Is this an activity that I really have to worry about?

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You know, let him answer for himself. His problems are his own problems. They are not my problems. No, Cain was revealing that he was not truly the brother of Abel.

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That's also something that 1 John speaks of, that Cain revealed that he's not truly the brother of Abel. If you are truly your brother's brother within this fellowship, within the community of Christ, you will not neglect, but rather you will care for them.

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And so consider what this means, especially about church involvement. A lot of people think that they can sufficiently live the

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Christian life at a distance. That is not the case. There needs to be a real involvement.

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If you are just watching over yourself and you're not watching over anyone else, are you really following the commands of Christ?

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You are not, you are not. And then moreover, who is it in particular that you are supposed to be rebuking and forgiving and repeating that activity with?

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It can't be every single Christian across the globe. You don't know every single Christian across the globe.

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There are particular societies that God has placed us in in order that we might do that. And what is that other than the institution that he has given us, the local church?

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A lot of people think that they can engage in the Christian life without having a well -defined sense of who the ones they are responsible to are.

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You cannot. And so God has given us the boundaries of church membership in order that we might know who is it especially that I am responsible for, who is, while all

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Christians are my brothers and I'm responsible for all of them in some sense, there are a particular set that I'm especially responsible for and it's you all here.

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And then with frequency, consider also the frequency with which is this needed. Temptations to sin are sure to come.

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This is a constant activity that is needed. Your brothers are constantly facing temptation and so you must constantly not neglect to reach into their life and help them.

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Hebrews 3 .13. Hebrews 3 .13 says, but exhort one another every day as long as it is called the day that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

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This is a daily activity. A lot of people would make this a monthly activity, a weekly activity.

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It's a daily activity. It's a daily activity. And so we come particularly to the first aspect of this formula of rebuke, forgive, repeat.

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He says, if your brother sins, rebuke him. Now, I wanna work through this just asking some basic questions.

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What, when, how, and why? Okay, so what is rebuke? Rebuke, first of all, is not a dirty word.

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Okay, a lot of people treat it like a dirty word. They think that if you talk about rebuking someone that it's gotta be this really harsh, mean -spirited, unkind, superior sort of behavior.

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Okay, rebuke is not a dirty word. It is simply correction. Okay, it is simply correction. And you can rebuke one another in a way that is not harsh, in a way that is kind and loving and gentle.

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Now, on top of what it is, that correction, when should you rebuke?

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The answer is if your brother sins. This is anytime your brother sins. This is something, you know, if you've been in a

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Reformed church long enough, you know how frequent sin is. This is something that should be featuring very frequently a part of the

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Christian life. Now, some people might look ahead and they say, ah, but it says in verse four, if he sins against you.

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So let's just limit that to sins against, only the sins that are directly against you. Well, that wouldn't satisfy the rest of the concerns of this passage, okay?

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This passage is concerned about being complicit in temptation so that one would veer off of the course that God has.

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This is about a neglect of your brother. If you were only concerned when he sins directly against you and not concerned when he has other sins against his life, are you really loving him?

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Are you really caring for him? So don't be distracted by the fact that in typical situations, this will involve a direct sin against you.

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Don't be distracted by that. Know that you have a responsibility to your brother, even in other situations, and that just watching them, you know, veer off the rails is not the behavior that is commended here.

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And so it is something that is to be frequent. Now, once again, if this is just correction, a lot of people think of rebuke as being, okay, you all are sitting down, you're having a heavy conversation, there's a lot of sweat going on, there's just postures like this or something.

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No, this is something that can be very frequent. I was thinking about it this past week.

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I know I've been rebuked at least a half dozen times, if not more than that, if I count the number of times that someone approached me about either something

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I said that was overly anxious or not kind enough, and they cited a verse to me or something like that.

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Now, in none of those situations would someone who is identifying rebuke as being this heavy -handed, harsh activity, would they have called that rebuke?

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And likewise, I've rebuked folks a number of times this past week.

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Once again, they might not even identify that as rebuke if you're thinking of it as being something so harsh.

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You know, if you include parental activities in that, you know, the number skyrockets how many times correction is involved.

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But this is something that is supposed to be a frequent part of the Christian life, even as demonstrated by this passage.

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So do not think of this as something that is just for rare occasions. Something that is supposed to be frequent.

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Now, how should you rebuke one another? First of all, you should rebuke purely.

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I'll give you three Ps to try to remember this. Purely meaning not hypocritically, okay?

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You want to do this without hypocrisy. So some of you might be familiar with how children in church are.

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You tell them to close their eyes while they're praying, and at the end of the prayer, one will say, Johnny was opening his eyes.

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I saw him open his eyes, right? Very hypocritical address of sin there, obviously.

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This kid's opening his eyes if he knows that the other was opening his eyes. But this happens with adults, too.

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You're probably familiar with the stereotypical scene of the 100 -pound overweight preacher who's got his own gluttony issues, who is addressing the indulgence in alcohol, et cetera, right, drunkenness, where, you know, gluttony is a very similar sin that we're talking about here.

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Now, none of this absolves anyone of the duty of rebuke.

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Some people think, well, you know, this is a big problem in my life, too. I can't really speak to this. No, it still falls on you to care for your brother and sister, but the duty is to get the log out of your own eye and to make sure that your standards of righteousness are different for your brother than they are for you, to use the same equal weights and measures for yourself, and to, as much as you can correct it in the time that you have available, and as much as is necessary, acknowledge your own failings to your brother as you address it.

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Now, the next thing, another P, these are poor

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P's, I'm sorry, but purely, as a peer, right, purely and purely, as a peer, not condescendingly, right?

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You don't want to be wagging your finger and shaking your head down at people. You don't want to be saying, you know, you disgust me, you know?

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Something like that would not be a, this would not be the kind of loving rebuke that Christ is commanding here, right?

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Rather, you want to do this as a peer. It says in 1 Timothy 5, 1, that to those who are younger than you even, you should be doing this as brothers, and towards those who are older than you, you should not rebuke strongly, harshly, but rather you should do so as you speak to a father.

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Now, some people might get confused by this. I think this is one of those passages where because of the way it's translated, it leads people to think that rebuke is a dirty word, because if you look at some translations, like even your

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ESV, it will say in 1 Timothy 5, 1, do not rebuke an older man. Now, you might think, well, maybe

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I'm free, I have this duty to others, my peers, to those younger than me, but I do not have this duty to watch over those who are older in the church.

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No, this duty falls on you for them as well. The word that is used there is a different word than the one that is used here.

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It's one where the root of the word is about striking. So it's talking about, you know, some translations say strongly rebuke, or maybe you could say berate.

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You know, you don't wanna berate an older man. That would not be appropriate. So you do so as a peer with the right kind of respect.

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Now, in addition to that, you want to do so gently, gently.

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Galatians 6, 1 talks about those who are spiritual restoring the one who is caught in a transgression with the spirit of gentleness.

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And so we ought to do this, we ought to do this gently.

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Now, there are several ways that you can do this gently. One is with humility, okay?

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Acknowledging that you may not perfectly understand the situation that you're addressing, and so you're open to correction about the particular situation.

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Acknowledging that you are not a perfect man either. There are situations where that acknowledgement will need to be more or less explicit.

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Many times it's not needed directly as long as you have that attitude. In addition to that, you want to do this confidently, confidently.

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Now, that might be surprising that that would be part of gentleness. But if you think about if someone addressed you with some sin and they were not confident, you would feel really uncomfortable.

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You know, if they're uncomfortable, you're going to feel uncomfortable. And you're going to think, well, what's the ulterior motive going on here?

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Why is this person addressing me? Is he not confident about what the scripture says? If so, why is he addressing it?

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Is he trying to pull something on me here? So what you want to do is make sure that you understand what the scripture says and that you are, even though you're approaching the situation with humility, you are also approaching it with confidence.

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And that confidence, counterintuitively, is part of that gentleness so that it can be received in a way that doesn't make people unnecessarily have to put up their guards because they feel like there's some ulterior motive.

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And then, in addition, you want to do this appropriately. Gentleness is going to look different in different contexts.

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Some people only have one category for gentleness, so it always means the most private, the most quiet of rebukes.

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Sometimes gentleness is larger than that. You see the examples given in scripture.

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Greater sins require greater rebukes. Peter addressing

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Simon, the magician, a very great rebuke because it was a great sin. Situations where the sin is more persistent, you see

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Moses with Pharaoh, increasing plagues, increasing rebuke. Why?

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Because the sin is persistent. And then you see that public sins need public rebukes.

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Paul, in addressing Peter, after Peter refused to eat with Gentiles, he gives him a rebuke in the sight of all because his sin was public.

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So just the fact that you are to restore one gently does not mean that that gentleness is going to look the exact same in every circumstance.

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There's appropriate level of gentleness that sometimes will look very strong, look very harsh, right?

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That doesn't mean it's harsh, but to some people, it will, and you have to be ready for that. So the kind of gentleness that you would use to correct an animal, for example, like a horse, is going to be different than the gentleness where you correct a hamster, right?

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A horse, if you touch them like you'd touch a hamster, he's not gonna turn in the right direction, right? He's not gonna do the right thing.

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And so some situations require a lot of strength to do the correction. Now, if you apply the kind of strength that's needed for a horse to a hamster, you know what's gonna happen.

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You know, his eyes are gonna bulge out and he's gonna lose his continence. It's, you need an appropriate level of gentleness for each situation.

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And so now, why is rebuke so necessary?

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Rebuke is necessary because, as Jesus implies in this passage, if you are neglecting your brother, you are complicit in that temptation.

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You are, by way of silence, endorsing it. You ever see a situation where someone makes a joke at someone else's expense and you laugh at it rather than speaking up or saying something?

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What have you done? You've implicitly said that this is okay, right? And the same thing happens when you neglect your brother and you neglect his sin.

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You implicitly say, that's all right. You know, that's okay, there's no problem here. But that's not what you wanna do.

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Ezekiel 3 talks about if God has called you to warn someone about their wicked ways and you do not do it, that if they continue on, you will have blood on your hands.

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And that is the case in the church, too. You do not want blood on your hands. Just, if God told this to his prophet, how much truer is it of us today when we have been given this command by Jesus to rebuke one another?

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A lot of people think that, you know, the nicest thing, the kindest thing, is just to avoid it, just to, you know, let love cover a multitude of sins, which ends up being a phrase that's scriptural but abused so that they don't have to do the hard task of helping their brother out when they're sinning and they're off course.

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No, it is necessary or else there will be blood, there will be blood on your hands. And so, the applications here are very simple.

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The first is to rebuke. Now, it might not, I understand it's difficult, too, and it's difficult in certain situations, too.

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It's so much easier, I know what people do, right? They've got a friend who has sinned against them and they think, well, there goes that friendship, never gonna talk to that person again.

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No, approach them and reconcile, and the first step to reconciliation is addressing that sin.

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There are all kinds of relationships where you might not feel comfortable, husband and wife or wife and husband.

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Maybe you don't feel like this person is going to be receptive, but there is still, there's still a command to do so.

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I know many husbands think that the right way to go about their relationship is to keep their wife as happy as possible without addressing any sins.

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No, that is not appropriate. God has commanded rebuke. And likewise, parents with their children.

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So many parents think that the right way to parent is to just accept all of their children's behavior, all of their shenanigans at bedtime, all of their disobedience and rude behavior.

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Just as long as they're keeping the kids happy, everything's okay. Their goal isn't really character formation. It's just, you know, let's make sure that they're not, you know, acting up right at this moment, and so let's give them whatever they want.

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No, they need correction. Your children need correction as well. So rebuke, rebuke is the first one.

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Secondly, and this one is really important, do not protect someone from rebuke.

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There might be times when you see one brother treating another brother harshly, and you want to step in, and that's good.

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But there are some times where the rebuke will be needed, and out of a failure to understand the importance of this command,

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I've seen some people step in and protect others from a rebuke that was needed.

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Now, this is very confusing, especially to new Christians, right? Because then they think, then they're learning, okay, one, my sin is all right.

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Two, rebuke is bad and wrong, and I need to watch out for people who are going to do that to me. Okay, so while you want to certainly protect brothers and sisters who are being treated harshly, do make sure you are not protecting them from a valid, legitimate rebuke, because that's even worse than neglect at that point.

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Now, the next one, and this is maybe the most important, is to be rebukeable.

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You want to be a rebukeable person, someone that people know, they can come to you, they can bring

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Scripture to you, and you will receive it, okay? There are so many good passages about this.

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I wanted to read my top five to you, because, yeah, they're meaningful to me.

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Proverbs 12, one, whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid, okay?

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If you love discipline, if you love correction, you love knowledge. If you hate that sort of thing, you are a stupid person.

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You are rejecting the good knowledge that God has given. Proverbs 15, 32, whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.

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Proverbs 9, 8, very similar. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you.

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Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. So, that's talking about interacting with it, but you know it's true.

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You come to some people, and you give them pretty gentle advice, and then they hate you for it, but other people, you bring it, and man, they love you.

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Thank you for correcting me. This is the kind of person you want to be, one who loves those who rebuke them, rebukes them rightly.

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Proverbs 17, 10, a rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool, and then the last one, make this one your prayer.

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Proverbs 141, sorry, Proverbs 141, 5. 141, 5, let a righteous man strike me.

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It is a kindness. Let him rebuke me. It is oil for my head. Let my head not refuse it.

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Can that be your prayer? Can you say, let a righteous man strike me? I would just love to know anyway that I need correction, and to hear it.

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You know, there are people who will pay $300 an hour for someone to tell them what's wrong with their golf swing, but you couldn't pay them $300 to hear what's wrong in their

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Christian life. You know, that ought not to be, brothers. You should, if you're willing to be corrected in other areas of life, how much more do you need correction in your

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Christian life, and we all need it. We all need it. You know, there are different kinds of fools, right?

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There's the fool who doesn't have the spirit of God, and they are senseless to their need for correction, so they reject it, and they don't even have the spirit by which they could receive it, right?

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That's a true fool. Now, there is also the unbeliever who doesn't have the spirit, but is a pretty sensible person, so even though they might receive some correction, it doesn't actually transform the heart to make them more like Christ, because they don't have the spirit by which that is possible, right?

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So you might call that the secular fool or the un -Christian fool, and there's also a

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Christian fool. This is someone who has the spirit of God. That means by which the heart could truly be transformed to be more like Christ and receiving reproof, but because of their own corruption of their flesh, they reject it and don't hear it out by which they might receive it.

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Now, don't be any of those kinds of fools. If you're one who doesn't know Christ, come to Christ today, trust on him for his mercy, whereby you might be transformed, be able to receive these things, and spared from the great judgment that awaits those who don't have the mercy of Christ.

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And if you are already in Christ, do not reject those good things by which you might be made further into Christ's image, by which you may grow in that holiness without which no one will see the

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Lord. And this goes hand -in -hand.

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Being rebukable goes hand -in -hand with rebuking. If you do not think that you receiving rebuke is valuable, you're not going to think it's valuable to give others, right, you're not going to give it to others.

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And if you don't think it's valuable for others, you're not going to think it's valuable for yourself. Okay, so these two go hand -in -hand, being rebukable and being able to give rebuke, they go hand -in -hand, so don't neglect one thinking that the other won't be harmed, they will.

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And the one who is rebukable, the one who is rebukable is like clay that can be molded by the potter into whatever form it needs to be.

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The one who's not rebukable is like one that's already been fired, right, it's been fired in the oven so that it's brittle.

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And what happens if you press on it too hard and you try to mold it, it just breaks apart, it's brittle. Okay, you want to be one who is rebukable, one who is correctable.

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Now it continues on here, it continues on here and gives the second part of this formula.

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If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he repents, forgive him.

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What is forgiveness? God has, maybe you've never considered like how surprising this is or how unique or in the wisdom of God this is, but he has established an economy of forgiveness such that when someone sins against you, even though they are ultimately sinning against God, they owe you repentance, okay?

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He has established it so that even though that sin is ultimately against you, there's still something that is owed to you and you have the ability to release them of that need to continue pursuing reconciliation.

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Now you have that ability and that's a pretty marvelous thing that God has given and he's given you that to be used for good for the encouragement of brothers.

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Now those who don't use it that way and rather use it to discourage, they are driving their brothers to further temptation.

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But this is something where it is so important to forgive one another in order that they not be tempted.

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Now how would this cause them to be tempted? Well if you consider what it looks like to come to someone in repentance and then not receive forgiveness, what is that doing?

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That's teaching them that this behavior will not be rewarded, right? It's punishing them for good behavior. It's rewarding evil behavior, right?

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Rewarding the evil of not repenting, okay? And so you are greatly tempting a brother when you do not forgive.

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I, when I was a teenager, you know, a young teenager, probably my oldest age,

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I read a book that was a young adult sci -fi book where these six kids are in this room and they don't understand why they're there and there's this machine that occasionally feeds them, you know, pops out food and they don't know why it does.

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About halfway through the book, there's this, you know, spine -tingling moment, at least it was for me as a kid,

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I don't know if I re -read it, I would still feel the same way, but spine -tingling moment where they realize that the machine was responding anytime they were mean to each other, okay?

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So anytime they were mean to each other, it would give them food and so it was encouraged, it was encouraging evil behavior and so they realize halfway through the book that they've been conditioned to act evil to one another and they have to decide from the rest of the book how they're going to be.

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This is what happens when you do not forgive one another, okay, you are rewarding evil behavior and you're, and you are encouraging, excuse me, you're, yeah, you're rewarding evil behavior and you're discouraging good behavior.

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You're discouraging repentance and rewarding a retreat away from repentance. You are complicit, you know, their sin is on their own head but you are complicit in creating a monster if you discourage a brother that way by withholding forgiveness.

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Now one question that comes up here frequently is what if the brother doesn't repent?

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You know, Jesus says if he repents, forgive him. Now certainly you're supposed to have a posture of repentance, you are supposed to have open arms and be ready to forgive and you're not supposed to hold any grudges and be weighed down by any of that but if I described forgiveness earlier as being a releasing someone from that duty to reconcile, is that really something that you can do apart from someone's repentance?

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If you forgive someone of a financial debt, they no longer have a duty to pay that debt to the bank or whoever the lender was, right?

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If you pay that off, if you forgive them that debt, they no longer have a duty to you to do that but if you forgive them for something that they haven't come to you in repentance for, have they actually been released of their duty that God has placed on them to come to you in repentance?

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They haven't. So there is this question of whether or not you can really forgive someone who hasn't repented.

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I would say that you can't. You can release bitterness, you can refuse to hold a grudge about it but it is not, but the reason why

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Jesus says if they repent is because that really is a condition necessary in order to have true reconciliation.

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So that's an important thing to consider. I know a lot of people who wanna skip that first step, they wanna skip the rebuke and just go right to forgiveness and say, you know,

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I've forgiven him, I've forgiven him. We're all good here. You really haven't, okay?

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You really haven't released him of his duty. In fact, you've left it on him and have not given him the instruction needed so that there can be true reconciliation.

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You might see yourself as very kind and forgiving by doing that without the interaction but that's the coward's way, okay?

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You've not really released him of any duty. It is important not to skip the first step and skip right to the last.

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I've told some of you this story before. My late grandfather, he had a dispute with his siblings over property and I know that's a common thing with inheritances and he once told me, as we were discussing the nature of forgiveness and things like that, he told me that his brother, who he feels like had cheated him, he said,

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I've forgiven him, I've forgiven him but if he were to ever crawl to my doorstep and ask for forgiveness,

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I would spit on him and beg for mercy, I would spit on him and that's not real forgiveness.

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You know, you can say you're forgiving but if you haven't reconciled, if you haven't actually talked to them, if you haven't actually restored that relationship, you haven't done it, you can't skip step one and go right to step two, okay?

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It's just not possible. God has not established the economy of forgiveness that way, he's established it so that it requires the interaction and this is a wonderful thing that you have to wield for the good of your brothers, to encourage them.

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Every time you do this, they are so much more encouraged to repent. I know that every time I'm forgiven by someone else,

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I am so much more encouraged to repent and every time someone withholds that, it becomes hard, it becomes hard to do that again.

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You know, you're a little vulnerable when you go to someone and you repent. Man, it becomes hard to be vulnerable again.

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Now, you still have a duty to do it, that doesn't mean you no longer have to repent but know that you make it harder for your brother if you do not, if you are not a forgiving, if you don't have a forgiving spirit towards them when they're corrected and they come to you in repentance.

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So, simply put for applications here, rebuke is still needed, you can't skip the step two.

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Two, forgive people. When they come to you with repentance, forgive them and even if they don't come to you in repentance, don't harbor bitterness against them.

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And then if you're ever in a situation where you've repented and they aren't forgiving you, know, in looking at the situation, hopefully you can understand your own self and your own sinful temptations a little better and not give in to the temptation to wall up because you found that particular situation difficult and they didn't forgive you because you were vulnerable with them and it wasn't received, okay?

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Don't give in to that temptation. Know that that is being called temptation here and this person may be one like this who it says, woe to the one through whom those temptations come, but don't be stronger than that, don't give in to it.

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And then the last step is repeat. Rebuke, forgive, repeat.

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It says, and if he sins against you seven times in the day and he turns to you seven times saying, I repent, you must forgive him, you must forgive him.

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This is something that is going to happen frequently. It's going to happen all the time. And a lot of times people will see a situation where rebuking is needed and they feel like, ah, something's wrong, this is not how it's supposed to be.

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This is all wrong. No, what Jesus is saying is this is exactly what you're supposed to be expecting. This is exactly what the

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Christian life looks like is this constant cycle of repenting, forgiving, and then on the other end, sorry, rebuking and forgiving, and then on the other end, repenting and receiving that forgiveness.

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This is what the constant cycle is supposed to be. Now, people make all kinds of excuses.

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They say, well, doesn't the scripture say that you're supposed to wash the dust off your feet? That's for unbelievers.

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That's not talking about your brothers and sisters. Or doesn't it say you're not supposed to give what's holy to dogs or pearls before swine?

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Once again, this is not something that would apply to your brothers and sisters. Your brothers and sisters are not swine.

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So don't make those kinds of excuses in your life. Don't say, oh, well, you don't understand, Pastor Conley.

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This person wouldn't hear me out. You don't understand. I've tried, it's not, you know, it didn't go that well last time.

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Don't make those excuses. Rather, pursue reconciliation as a powerful tool. And if you consider this in the light of the gospel, that God, out of his abundant mercy, has forgiven us, has corrected us for serious sins, and he has forgiven us, is it not right for us to not consider ourselves greater than him, above that kind of behavior?

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No, we also are to engage in this, encouraging one another, modeling the gospel in these small instances of rebuke and repentance.

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This is something that points people toward Christ. He is the one that we are supposed to look to in order to endure the

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Christian life, this one who has marvelously forgiven us of our sins. And when we do this for one another, we are pointing them, not to us, but to the north star of Jesus Christ in order that they might have the right way, in order that they might not be tempted off the path by stumbling blocks, but rather, that they would be led towards Jesus Christ.

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First John 4 .12 says, no one has ever seen God. If we love one another, God abides in us, and his love is perfected in us.

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Okay, so no one has ever seen God, you can't see God, but people can see him in you, and you can see him in your brothers and sisters.

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If that love, if that love for one another is abiding in you, then God is abiding in you.

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And so it's able to say later that if anyone says I love God and hates his brother, he is a liar, for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love

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God whom he has not seen. The point there being that, not that God should be harder to love because he's invisible, but that the way that God has visibly manifested himself in our lives, for lack of a better word, while Christ is not here on this earth, is in each other, so that we can, in the love we have for one another, see

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Christ, see God in each other, and that that can be the encouragement so that we are looking to Christ, so that we are looking to his great mercy and forgiveness, knowing that all our sins have been washed away by him.

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How, in our own modeling of it toward one another, and being willing to approach one another who are in need of reconciliation, and then forgiving them abundantly, modeling the behavior of Christ Jesus, so that we are reminded continually of him, of his great sacrifice, of his goodness towards us, of his mercy towards us, of his precious blood, without which no one would have any kind of access to God, no one would have any kind of hope that they would avoid the terrible woe that is spoken of here, the terrible fires of wrath that are spoken of in the previous passage.

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But in him, we have a great mercy and a great hope that we will dwell with him forever, and not just with him, but with one another, all of us reminding one another of him.

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Amen. Let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for your word.

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We thank you for the directions it gives us, even when they are difficult ones, even in this task of rebuking, forgiving, and repeating.

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We pray that you would give us grace that we might do this. We pray that you would give us grace on either end, that we would, though we fear confrontation and conflict, that we would be willing to give each other the good that we need, that confrontation, and that eager, earnest forgiveness.

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And God, on the other end, that we would be people who are receptive to correction, in order that your name might proclaim, in order that the great mercies of Christ may be declared and made manifest among us.