Should You Discipline Your Child if They Cry for No Reason?

The Bible Bashed Podcast

Subscribe

Download

Share

00

00:00

There's plenty of times where you're going to feel these emotions, recognize that they're bad, and that, but then they're pointing, they're probably pointing to a deeper issue that you might have maybe with someone else that you need to try and figure out.

00:33

Doom and despair on the radio. The message of Christianity is that salvation is found in Christ alone, or forfeit any hope of salvation, any hope of heaven.

00:54

The issue is that humanity is in sin and the wrath of almighty

01:00

God is hanging over our heads. They will hear his words, they will not act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment, when the fires of wrath come, they will be consumed and they will perish.

01:15

God wrapped himself in flesh, condescended, and became a man, died on the cross for sin, was resurrected on the third day, has ascended to the right hand of the father where he sits now to make intercession for us.

01:31

Jesus is saying there is a group of people who will hear his words, they will act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment come in that final day, their house will stand.

01:44

Welcome to Bible Bash, where we aim to equip the saints for the works of ministry by answering the questions you're not allowed to ask.

01:51

We're your host, Harrison Kerrigan, Pastor Tim Mullett, and today we'll answer the age -old question, should you discipline your children if they cry for no reason?

02:00

Now Tim, as we kick this episode off, what Bible verse do you have that's relevant to punishing your children for crying for no reason?

02:09

Tim Mullett Yeah, so Genesis 4 -3, in the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel brought the first four of his flock and their fast portions.

02:20

And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry and his face fell, and the

02:28

Lord said to Cain, why are you angry and why is your face full? So there you go. Pete Okay, so how does that relate to the title question itself?

02:38

Tim Yeah, so part of the idea here is just to say that what you're living in a society right now that doesn't think that people basically have any responsibility for the emotions that they have, basically.

02:50

So you're living in a society that basically thinks that all emotions are essentially neutral and they should be treated as neutral.

02:58

And this is just an example of a verse that shows in a fairly modest way that Cain brings the sacrifice to the

03:09

Lord, he didn't bring the right sacrifice to the Lord, the Lord didn't accept his offering. And so Cain responds to that by basically becoming very angry and his face fell.

03:19

So this is just an example of Cain pouting, basically. So in 21st century language, we would describe this as he was hurt,

03:30

Cain was hurt. Pete He was hurt. Tim Cain was very hurt, right? So this is

03:36

Cain - Pete He didn't feel seen, he didn't feel heard. Tim He didn't feel seen, he didn't feel heard, he didn't feel validated, right?

03:41

So now he's filling his sad emotion right there because God didn't validate him. And God obviously responds to that by basically saying, do you do well to be angry?

03:52

So why are you angry? Why is your face falling? If you do well, will you not be accepted? If you do not do well, sin is crouching at its door, it's desirous for you, but you must master it.

04:02

But the idea is that God is telling him he must master, like this is sin, right?

04:08

So this reaction he's having, it's sin that has taken hold of his heart, it's starting to grow in his heart and he needs to master it, he needs to control it.

04:16

So what's going on inside is not neutral, like that's the idea. So his emotions are revealing what he values here.

04:23

But I mean, there's just any number of Bible verses like this. I mean, same thing happens with Jonah.

04:30

Jonah gets very angry because God saves the Ninevites and does exactly what he says he's going to do.

04:37

Is this not what I said you would do when I was still in my country, right? You're going to do that. And God looks at him and basically says, is it good for you to be angry?

04:45

And Jonah's like, yes, it's good, even to death, right? So God basically says the same thing to Cain as he says to Jonah.

04:53

But I mean, these are just examples to show you that these emotions, they're not neutral. And you think about the fear of the spirits, love, joy, peace, long -suffering, gentleness, meekness, kindness, faithfulness, self -control.

05:03

The idea is that love, joy, peace, long -suffering, gentleness, meekness, kindness, faithfulness, patience, self -control, all that, these are emotions.

05:17

A lot of these things are emotions, joy, peace, kindness, self -control, everything else.

05:27

So part of the Christian life involves learning self -control and part of that self -control is going to be directed at your emotions even.

05:34

And so there's times to, there's certainly times for parents to step in and discipline their children when their children are expressing emotions which are inappropriate and occasion, sure.

05:49

So there's just, that's just part of what being a parent is, but it's something that we've lost at this point. Yeah, I remember,

05:56

I can't remember who the person was, but there was someone a few months ago who had a lot of people mad at her because she,

06:07

I think the situation was something like her child went to -

06:14

It was Nancy Wilson, yeah. It was Nancy, oh, Doug Wilson's wife, right? Yeah. Nancy Wilson. Yeah.

06:21

She basically, her child was going to hang out at her friend's house or something and Nancy came to pick her child up and her child had a very bad attitude essentially about having to leave and go home, and so she disciplined her.

06:41

I don't know if she spanked her, I don't know what she did, but - Yeah, she ended up giving her a spanking, yeah. So she did, okay, so she did spank her for having a bad attitude, and then there were a lot of people coming in and were just totally dumbfounded that she could even conceive of spanking her child for having a bad attitude, but then she viewed it as totally normal.

07:04

And she sat down and explained it all, like the thought process behind it, but for a lot of people it's just like the moment that you mentioned spanking them for having a bad attitude, it's just they lose their mind.

07:19

And then you think to yourself, well, these people definitely weren't spanked whenever they had a bad attitude when they were kids, right?

07:27

But I do think that that's interesting that people get so up in arms when you mention disciplining a child for -

07:39

Particularly for their emotions. Their emotions, yeah. I mean, spanking especially in general people get really upset about, but then when you talk about spanking for a child's emotions that they're displaying, that's just like, it's a double whammy for them, because you've got the spanking aspect to it, and then you've got the, well, they can't help the way they feel.

08:04

I mean, that's basically the thing. Yeah, the basic presupposition, all right, there's a couple of things. The basic presupposition that undergirds the process is the idea that people can't help the way they feel.

08:13

So, that's just considered an iron law of pseudo -psychology at this point.

08:20

You can't help the way you feel essentially, right? And that's the way, I mean, this is pop psychology. Everyone thinks this, you can't help the way you feel, you're just some kind of victim, but then all it really takes -

08:31

So, step one, part of it's that, that people don't believe they can help the way you feel. And then we've been told for many years, you have to get in touch with your feminine side and everything else.

08:41

And that's what boys have been raised to do, is to get in touch with their feminine side. Because the idea is if you hold it all in, then you're just going to go postal one day and blow up, and it's going to get really bad, right?

08:52

And I mean, it's funny because I was told that my whole life, that kind of thing, because I didn't just emote for no reason.

09:00

People thought there was something wrong with me. Because they thought there was something wrong with me, like, hey, yeah, you're just going to go postal one day and kill everyone.

09:11

It's like, well, yeah, that's never happened before, and it still hasn't happened. I'm halfway through my life at this point, and that's never happened.

09:19

And I think what is happening is I'm much more in control of my emotions than you are. So I think, yeah,

09:27

I'm sorry that I don't have the self -control of a two -year -old.

09:35

Is that what you want me to do? You want me to have the emotional self -control of a two -year -old in order to be perceived as normal? Is that the goal?

09:42

So you have kids who have been told that it's just harmful to hold your emotions, and you have to express them around.

09:48

So you're just fundamentally doing damage to yourself. So part of it is that kind of thing. But then if you just think about this for a few minutes, it's really not that difficult to come up with situations where you might discipline a child for poor emotional responses to situations.

10:07

Now, when I say that, people, they make a bunch of poor assumptions and don't really understand what

10:14

I'm saying, and I have to make a lot of qualifications in order to even remotely be clear at this point.

10:19

But just starting out, it doesn't take a whole lot of work to try to come up with situations like this.

10:26

So for example, imagine if you have a 16 -year -old child, and someone takes their video game controller, and they have a meltdown, and they fall on the floor, and they start weeping, kicking their feet, and banging their head against the ground, or something like that.

10:49

They've been trained to do that for long periods of time. So you think about something like that.

10:56

This is something that they should know better at this point in their life. They should have been trained out of this kind of behavior.

11:03

This is the kind of behavior that if you subsidize it, if you tolerate it, it can go on and on forever. But I mean, that's obviously a bad thing.

11:10

Now, the problem is you have all these psychological labels at this point where people are just going to come along and say, hey, yeah, they're suffering some kind of psychological illness.

11:17

Really, they just were never disciplined for silly things like that. But excessive crying over if their game controller gets broken by a brother or something like that, and they're weeping, and wailing, and angry, and everything else.

11:32

There's certainly something wrong about that, and there should be some consequences to that. Laughter when another child gets seriously hurt.

11:39

You imagine something along those lines. Your child is laughing hysterically. If their sibling were to fall underneath the lawnmower and get their leg amputated or something like that, and they're just being mercilessly laughed at by their other sibling, you would think that's an inappropriate emotion.

11:58

That's horrible. This is not a laughing moment, okay?

12:03

This is not the way this works. This is not what you're supposed to be doing. I say as I'm laughing about it.

12:10

You're laughing at the absurdity of it. It's funny you bring that up, because I was telling you about this, but I'll say it for everyone.

12:19

One time, my oldest, this was probably a year and a half ago or something, but we were reading a book to her.

12:30

It was called, I wish I could remember the actual name of it, but I think it was called The Crippled Lamb or something like that.

12:39

At one point towards the beginning of the book, the book is like,

12:45

The Crippled Lamb wasn't able to play any games or make any friends, and then my daughter, she just laughed.

12:58

My wife and I were just like, hang on a second. Why did you laugh there? What made you laugh when you heard this?

13:08

You didn't laugh at any other part. Why are you laughing now? There has to be something more here than you just randomly.

13:16

Maybe she just randomly thought of something funny, but it seemed weird that the first instinct was to laugh when you hear the part about how

13:29

The Crippled Lamb couldn't do anything fun or make any friends. That was a little concerning at that moment.

13:36

I think situations like that, where you have a very young child and you don't quite know what's going on, certainly there's a lot of grace to be shown and everything else.

13:45

The issue is that you ought to be able to think of examples of situations like that.

13:52

I think excessive crying over a broken toy at some point in the life of a child, you should gain the emotional control necessary to handle simple trials like that.

14:02

The way that you do that is you learn to get disciplined. If always bound up in the heart of the child, the rod of discipline will drive it far from them.

14:09

You're disciplining them to have the right emotions in the right situations. Like if your child is told to share or whatever, and they just lose their mind, they can't handle it, they have a nuclear meltdown.

14:22

I'm not talking about socialism or something along those lines. I'm just like, yeah, you have guests over, you should share with them.

14:30

It's just being hospitable. You shouldn't just take all your toys and put them in a big pile and lay on top of them and refuse to let anyone play with anything that you have at that point.

14:41

You're not being a good host. But I mean, yeah, where people start losing their mind is if you were to talk about emotions that they think would make them a victim.

14:51

So like paralyzing fear when there's no danger. I mean, look, the thing is you can teach your child just to be filled with paralyzing fear and worry.

15:02

And paralyzing fear, paralyzing worry, and everything else, and that's what you're going to get.

15:10

You're just going to get an emotionally crippled adult who's afraid to do anything in their life because you've cuddled emotions that are inappropriate and out of place and unbalanced in that way.

15:28

Yeah, I think part of the issue is that you have to think that you've created a human being with God's help.

15:39

You're raising this human being and whatever you subsidize, that's what you're going to get. And the more that you let it go, the worse it's going to get.

15:47

You can just look out in our society right now and you can just see the results of children who've never had their emotions disciplined at all whatsoever.

15:56

They don't know what to do with them. It's amazing when you think about the world that we live in right now.

16:04

It's like you're living in a world full of children. I used to think this.

16:10

I mean, I first started thinking this way when I was in my early college and working in a bank or whatever.

16:20

And you would see these adults come in. And this is like a time where you're transitioning into adulthood. And you would see adults coming in and the moment you would say you can't do whatever they're asking you to do, they would just have a meltdown.

16:32

It was like watching a toddler. People will get really upset about their food.

16:39

If you really upset about their money, they get really upset about that.

16:46

But it's like watching a bunch of children. And it's kind of one of those, it's a strange thing.

16:52

And then you look at the news, you see the things that are going on. And it's like a bunch of children who are unable to regulate their emotions because they've told that they can't help the way they feel.

17:00

And they've had no one to ever help them come along and discipline those emotions in the right way. So you're talking a lot about, obviously in a conversation like this, we're going to talk a lot about disciplining certain emotions that are viewed as negative.

17:16

It sounds like if you're saying that a child should be disciplined for certain emotions that they're feeling at certain times, that it sounds like you're saying those emotions are sinful.

17:32

Are you saying those emotions are sinful? Right. So yeah, the title question here is just to say, hey, should you discipline a child for crying for no reason?

17:42

If you're trying to answer that question, well, the issue is that I grew up in a generation where the parents, my dad told us, you're not allowed to cry for no reason.

17:52

And we didn't. I mean, I grew up in that generation too.

17:58

I mean, I grew up in a generation where my dad would look at me and he would say, if you're going to cry for no reason, I'll give you something to cry about.

18:04

And we knew what that meant. So the issue is he did us a favor.

18:13

But the idea though, is just to say that what's happened is you have a lot of men who have taken – so many kids right now are fatherless.

18:22

So the male impulses, when you see a child just crying for no reason, there's something inside of you that's just like, hey, you need to cut that out.

18:30

But this is a man impulse. It's a man impulse to look at a child and say, hey, yeah, we're not going to do that.

18:38

And the reason why is because I don't want you to be a whiny crybaby. I don't want you to be this whiny – so there's a secular kind of intuition just to say,

18:48

I don't want you to be a crybaby. Because we used to make fun of those kind of kids.

18:54

And the reason why we used to make fun of kids like that is just it reflects so poorly on them.

19:00

What are you doing? Toughen up. Why are you sitting there whining and fussing and crying?

19:07

That's the easiest way to lose respect from other men is just to sit there and blubber and cry for nothing.

19:15

And what that means is – everyone who grew up in that kind of generation understands what that expression means.

19:25

What that expression means is just to say – it's not to say that you don't have a reason for crying. It's not a legitimate moral reason to cry right now.

19:33

You have no legitimate moral reason to be weeping right now. This is not that time.

19:39

But then that presupposes that there are emotions that are appropriate to certain occasions, and there are emotions that are inappropriate to certain occasions.

19:48

And then it presupposes that there are levels of intensity of emotions that are appropriate, and there's levels of intensity that are inappropriate.

19:57

That's the whole concept. The idea is all emotions are neutral in general. There's a place for every emotion to be expressed.

20:07

Even emotions like anger, there's times to be righteously angry, and there's times to not be righteously angry.

20:17

The idea is all emotions are neutral in that way, but you want them to trigger at the right time with the right intensity.

20:24

That's what you want. So, I mean, if you can imagine someone who's spent the last three years crying over their dead pet worm or something like that.

20:35

The issue is, you can have some smart -out come along and say, yeah, well, the Bible says weep, but those who weep, right?

20:41

And like, Jesus was a man of sorrows, well, when it were grief, it's like, yeah, but Jesus never spent three years weeping over a worm.

20:50

So, there's a time to mourn, and there's a time to stop mourning. We don't grieve as those who have no hope.

20:57

The idea of weeping over a worm is fundamentally immoral, because there's something wrong with you, right?

21:05

In a past generation, if you're weeping over a worm, someone would look at you and say, hey, you okay?

21:12

Your dad beating you or something like that? You got problems going on at home? This is revealing something else going on.

21:18

There's some problem that's happening that can't be related to this, can it?

21:24

There must be something else going on, because everyone understood that there's inappropriate grief, there's inappropriate sadness, there's inappropriate mourning, and there's even inappropriate laughter.

21:35

I mean, I've given this example to people before, but I mean, just imagine someone laughing hysterically at a funeral and cracking jokes at a funeral.

21:43

It's like, that isn't the time for this, right? So, if you're doing that, you're showing that you have a callous disregard for human life and for the suffering of other people.

21:55

This is a culpable kind of insensitivity. So, the issue is laughter is neutral, sadness is neutral, but it needs to be expressed in the right way, in the right proportion, and that's what parenting is, right?

22:07

That's what you do as a parent. You come along, you say, I'm going to teach you what to do with these feelings, right?

22:16

So, you need to learn that there's a time to mourn and there's a time to stop mourning, right?

22:22

So, you cannot cry for three weeks over the death of your goldfish. I'm sorry, it's just a fish, right?

22:30

Like, at some point, this is not a human being, okay?

22:35

So, you're having human grief over an animal that has a brain the size of a grain, or something like that, right?

22:45

So - CBT A brain the size of a what? JG A grain, a grain of rice. CBT Oh, a grain of rice, okay.

22:50

JG Yeah, I mean, so, if that, you know? So, the issue is that, yeah, emotions are neutral, but part of what you do as a parent is you're looking at this child who has no impulse control, no control of their emotions whatsoever.

23:05

For them, like, the slightest little thing is a massive tragedy, right, to them, and blown way out of proportion.

23:12

And what you're trying to do by the time you hand them off into adulthood is train them to, like, not be that little child who's reduced to tears because their

23:22

Lego castle broke, right? Like, that's what you're trying to do. And so, what's happening is, like, you have a male impulse that is looking at these kind of things and saying, hey, like, a lot of such men are just further seeing in this way, right?

23:40

So, they're not seeing the moment, they're seeing, like, out into the future, and they're saying, hey, like, if this keeps on happening and keeps on happening and keeps on happening, this is going to be a non -productive human being in the world, right?

23:53

And then you have the mom impulse on the other side is just to basically give priority to the feelings, right?

24:00

Like, to the point where it's just like, hey, oh, poor baby, you know, let me kiss it, make it better, and everything else.

24:06

But it's like, there's a place for that, right? There's a place for that, but that place isn't indefinitely forever, right?

24:13

So, if you're, you know, the 16 -year -old kid who scraped your knee on the ground and is weeping uncontrollably and wants your mom to kiss it and it better, you've been failed.

24:25

Your parents failed you at life, right? So, basically, like, the idea is, like, they're all neutral, but you have to learn to teach your children what to do with them.

24:34

And there are, like, moments to say, hey, yeah, we're not just going to give, like, the

24:39

Bible says, a fool gives full vent to their spirit. We're not, that's not Christian. It's just to express everything that's in there, you know?

24:47

Well, that's what I was going to ask, too, is, you know, a lot of people would retort by saying, you know, hey, it's healthy to express your feelings.

24:57

It's healthy to vent. You know, so, but then it seems like you're saying, no, it's actually not.

25:05

Is that, am I right in that? The fool gives full vent to their spirit.

25:10

I mean, just imagine what happens, like, if, so, like, the idea is there is a category for self -control, right?

25:20

Sure. So, a man without self -control is like a city without walls that's broken into.

25:26

You know, so, like, just there's a lot of damage that comes from just people emoting.

25:32

Like, you can say things in anger that you can never take back, you know? You can say horrible, awful things that you can never take back.

25:41

You can do horrible things that you can never take back. I mean,

25:46

I'm aware of a situation like this where, like, a loved one basically picked a fight with a child.

25:57

Like, he was so frustrated because he never learned to rule his spirit that he started dropping this child on the ground and killed the child, and he's in jail now because of that.

26:07

And it's like, that's what happens when you have people who just express their feelings, right? Mm -hmm. So, like, you, and, like, the way he described it is, like, he described it as he just snapped.

26:17

Like, he just snapped or whatever. It's like, well, no, you just, you never learned to master your spirit, right?

26:23

You didn't learn to master your anger. You didn't learn to deal with those emotions. You didn't learn to, like, put to death what is earthly in you, right?

26:32

Fits of anger, and evil desire, right? So, I mean, the

26:39

Bible says, like, let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, standard be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.

26:48

So, like, the idea is just to say, hey, yeah, you know what? Bitterness is a sad feeling, and the

26:53

Bible says get rid of it. It doesn't say express it. It doesn't say let it out. And you know what?

26:59

There's a lot of, like, people who claim to be hurt who go around gossiping about people, slandering people, and destroying people's lives, destroying their reputation, destroying their ministry, you know, everything else because they're hurt, right?

27:11

And so, just because you have a sad emotion doesn't mean that everything you're thinking and feeling, it doesn't mean it's right.

27:18

It doesn't mean it's even based on what's true. It doesn't mean that, like, your perspective on everything that's happened is even remotely, like, factual, right?

27:30

At that point. And so, like, the idea is just to say that, like, this is why when you're living, like, just think about the society we live in right now and think about all the videos you see probably on your

27:43

Twitter feed on a regular basis of individuals who just are walking past people and punch them in the face, right?

27:50

Like, that's what happens when a person just expresses what they feel, you know? So, like, there's problems there, man.

27:58

Like, so, you got to get rid of that anger. You got to get rid of that bitterness. You got to get rid of that frustration. And you just have entire generations of people who, like, they just think, if I'm sad,

28:08

I must express my sadness and cultivate that sadness and become an expert in expressing it.

28:14

And, like, just so much so that I have to take drugs for years and years and put myself on medication because, like,

28:21

I have to let it out. I can't, like, the worst thing in the world would be for me to seek to, with the

28:27

Spirit's help, to put these, like, feelings and proper perspective in place, you know?

28:32

So, basically, like, it just goes bad, like, whether it's, like, positive emotions, you know, or negative emotions.

28:40

If you just, like, let it all out, like, there's no limit to the damage that you can cause with all that, for sure.

28:50

Petey Well, and it seems to, kind of going along in that same vein, it seems like a lot of people, when they hear you say, you know, like, yes, you should discipline certain emotions, there are emotions that you can feel that are wrong, that are sinful.

29:08

And so, you don't need to, you don't need to vent them, you don't need to express them all, you need to put them to death.

29:18

A lot of people hear, would hear us saying that, and what they're hearing is just suppress it all, keep it inside, pretend it's not there, ignore it, those kinds of things.

29:31

But then the reality is that's just not really, like, what we're even saying. I mean, there's a lot of good to trying to resolve your issues in terms of, like, negative emotions, right?

29:46

So, like, you were saying, hey, there's people out there who, they get angry, and they, you know, so they try to do everything they can to destroy, you know, anything related to the person that they're angry with, right?

30:00

And a lot of times, their anger isn't even based on facts. So, what should a person do who's tempted to feel angry in certain ways?

30:11

Well, it seems like number one would be, like, understand that your anger is more likely than not an unrighteous anger, meaning it's a sinful anger.

30:26

But then two, there's all, I mean, isn't there something to say, like, hey, we're not saying completely suppress everything.

30:33

There's plenty of times where you're going to feel these emotions, recognize that they're bad, and that, but then they're pointing, they're probably pointing to a deeper issue that you might have, maybe with someone else that you need to try and figure out.

30:46

Either, you know, and it might be that it's on your own or if it gets, you know, if it gets to a certain, like, you know, um, if it gets bad enough, it might be the kind of situation where you say,

30:59

I just need to go to this person. I just need to, I just need to ask them, you know, the questions that I have and, and I need to confess the things that, you know,

31:10

I'm feeling or the actions that I've committed towards them because they weren't done out of love or what, you know, whatever else.

31:18

So, is that, is that right in what I'm saying where we're not, we're not necessarily saying, hey, suppress it all.

31:23

There's plenty of times, you know, I don't think it's every time you feel a negative emotion, but there are going to be times in your life where you do feel these, these sinful emotions and then there is an aspect, there is an element of,

31:35

I need to go to this person and I need to, I need to, like, seek reconciliation with them, understanding that, like, that that's what, you know, seeking that reconciliation oftentimes is what it seems like what

31:49

God uses, the Holy Spirit uses to help us to get over these, you know, feeling these emotions in general.

31:58

Is that, is that right, Tim? Do you agree with that? Timothy Yeah, I mean, I think you're definitely, the Bible is not advocating, like, suppressing emotions.

32:05

It is advocating, disciplining them and dealing with them in a biblical way. So, you know, if you could, you could think about any number of situations along those lines.

32:14

Like, like, the issue is, like, the, the, the positive emotions, the negative emotions, they're all neutral, then they could be triggering in the wrong way.

32:25

So, like, the, like, the issue, like, so the issue is most people are happy for all the wrong reasons and sad for all the wrong reasons.

32:32

Like, that's the issue. So, you should be more, like, like, the issue is, like, you should probably be angry about, like, you're angry about all the wrong things.

32:42

So, instead of, like, being angry every time someone treats you poorly, you should be, like, like, the

32:50

Bible says you love your enemies, you do good to those who persecute you and despitefully use you. So, instead of, like, being angry every time it's self -focused anger and everything else, like, those are moments where you should be feeling sorrow over the hardness of their heart, right?

33:04

So, the issue is, like, you're, like, you're having the wrong emotion in the wrong time, like, that's what's happening.

33:10

So, we're, like, we get mad about those kind of things, but then we can watch filth on TV all day long, we can watch shows where people take the

33:17

Lord's name in vain, are sexually immoral, spend the whole time with profanity, like, spend the whole time, like, basically celebrating, praising iniquity, and we don't feel angry at all about any of it, right?

33:30

We're laughing, like, the issue is we're laughing during that. So, the laughter is not the good thing, and then the sadness the bad thing.

33:39

The issue is, like, you should be angry in those moments, like, and disgusted in those moments instead of being entertained in those moments, like, that's the thing.

33:49

But then, like, what we're not talking, I'm not talking about, like, suppressing your emotions, I'm talking about repenting of them, like, repenting of them and putting on, like, a biblically responsible action.

34:01

So, like, the issue is, like, if, like, yeah, so let's take a situation where someone is tempted to be bitter, like, you have a conversation with your spouse, they say something that you really dislike, and then instead of just, like, getting hurt and camping out in, like,

34:19

I'm a wounded victim or something like that, you know what you probably should do in those moments is think to yourself, like, okay, like,

34:28

I'm sad, I'm depressed, I'm discouraged, I'm in my mind,

34:33

I'm saying, why me? I don't deserve this, and I don't deserve to be treated this way, and I'm just so sick of this, and I'm just so tired of this, and, you know, everything else.

34:41

It's like, you should be saying what God is saying to Cain and to Jonah in that moment. Is your anger right now righteous?

34:48

Do you know what happened? Do you know what they meant by that? So, the Bible says, like, seems right until another one comes along to examine it.

34:56

I know my perspective. Do you know the other person's perspective? Do you know why they said what they said? Do you know what they mean by that?

35:01

Are you making assumptions about what they mean, right? Do you understand what happened?

35:06

Have you heard the other side, right? So, like, the Bible says, let each one be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to wrath.

35:14

Have you taken the time to listen to what they mean? Have you asked clarifying questions before you just allow yourself to moat and get mad and get frustrated and give the cold shoulder and everything else?

35:25

So, like, the issue is you're not trying to suppress that pity party that you're having.

35:30

What you're trying to say is, like, this pity party I'm having is unrighteous. It's not right. I haven't got enough information yet.

35:37

I haven't thought the best about them. I haven't given them the benefit of the doubt. I haven't asked them the appropriate questions I need to ask them.

35:43

I need to repent of this. Like, who am I? Like, I'm sitting here saying to God, like, I don't deserve this. I deserve hell, right?

35:49

Lord, forgive me for these self -centered thoughts. I deserve hell. I deserve worse than this. I don't deserve to be treated, like, wonderfully.

35:56

I don't deserve to have a wife who always, like, shows me respect. You know, like, I don't deserve to have a husband who always loves me and cherishes me, whatever else.

36:03

Like, this is a moment where I can be Christ to them, and I need, Lord, I need you to help me to be

36:08

Christ -like in this moment, to be, like, to get, like, to be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to wrath. Help me to get, like, forgive me for these, like, this stupid emotional response

36:19

I'm having right now, this unrighteousness about my kingdom come, my will be done, not your kingdom come, your will be done.

36:25

Help me to listen. Help me to love them more than I love myself. Help me to be more concerned about their sanctification than my own personal comfort.

36:33

Like, that's the kind of thing I'm talking about. I'm not talking about, like, just suppressing the emotion. But when you see that emotion, and that emotion is triggering in the wrong way, with the, accompanied by the wrong thoughts, like, those are moments where you should be asking forgiveness and changing and repenting in those moments.

36:51

And the more that you do that, the more that those kind of pity parties become completely and totally unnatural and out of the ordinary for you, if that makes sense.

37:00

Pete Yeah, yeah. No, no, that definitely makes sense. So, okay. I think that's a good place for us to wrap up the conversation on, unless there's anything else you feel like you need to say,

37:11

Tim. Do you have anything else? Tim Yeah, no, that's good. Pete Okay. Yeah. So, I appreciate you answering all my questions there, and this is just one of those things that, you know, as the younger generations continue to grow up, this is an issue that just becomes more and more prevalent.

37:31

You see it more and more, people who just don't know how to regulate their emotions in a way that pleases the

37:40

Lord at all, and they're totally excused for it. And, you know,

37:45

I don't necessarily think I'm perfect in this regard. I'm sure you don't think you're perfect in this regard, but then

37:51

I am very concerned for the people even younger than us with the way that they interact with things because the majority of people my age, they're not teaching their children how to regulate their emotions in a way that honors the

38:07

Lord, how to put to death the things that are evil in them and pursue righteousness.

38:13

They're not trying to, they're not teaching them how to, you know, constantly renew their minds like the

38:18

Bible tells us to do. And so, this is something that we've just got to regain a hold of and quit acting like it's such a terrible thing to love your children enough to teach them how to get rid of anger and bitterness and wrath and selfishness and excessive sadness, all of these things.

38:42

If you love your children, you don't want them to be completely debilitated by their emotions in that way.

38:50

And so, we've just got to regain a good biblical understanding and love the things that God loves, hate the things that God hates, basically.

38:59

So, with all that said, we appreciate your support week in and week out. We appreciate everyone who listens to the podcast, whether it be on YouTube, whether it be on Rumble, whether it be through the podcast form of it.

39:13

If you want to find more of our content, you can do that by following the links to our other social media accounts, our

39:19

Facebook and our Twitter account. And we're posting a lot of other stuff there that you can see and read.

39:25

If you want to support us financially, you can do that through Patreon. There's a link down in the description for that as well.

39:31

And if you are looking for other ways to support us, you can do that by leaving a like and a comment on the

39:37

YouTube video, by subscribing to the podcast, wherever you listen to your podcast, and leaving us a five -star review.

39:46

Those are some really good ways to help us get out there to more people. And they're completely free to you. They just take a few seconds, but they help a lot more than you might realize, actually.

39:57

So, again, we appreciate all your support. And until the next episode, we'll see you.

40:05

This has been another episode of Bible Bashed. We hope you have been encouraged and blessed through our discussion.

40:10

We thank you for all your support and ask you to continue to like and subscribe to Bible Bashed and share our podcast with your friends and on social media.

40:19

Please reach out to us with your questions, pushback, and potential topics for us to discuss in future episodes at BibleBashedPodcast .com

40:28

and consider supporting us through Patreon. Now, go boldly and obey the truth in the midst of a biblically illiterate world that will be perpetually offended by your every move.