Life in the Father's House #1 - "A Culture of Christian Love" (Romans 12:9-10)

So if you have a Bible, and I hope you do, take it and turn with me to Romans chapter 12. Romans chapter 12 as we begin a new sermon series for the month of October. If you're visiting, our regular habit is to work through books of the Bible.

We've been actually working our way through Genesis for quite some time, but for the month of October, I'm taking a break from our regular study in the book of Genesis to devote some time to a series that I've entitled Life in the Father's House.

Life in the Father's House. I'm going to say more about this series in just a moment, but Romans chapter 12, I'll join you there in just a minute. If I can introduce what we're going to be doing in this series for just a moment, I think it might be helpful for giving some context for what I'm hoping the Lord will do through this series and what I'm hoping you'll get out of it as we work through it.

How many of you have heard the term deconstruction before? Okay, okay, quite a few of you in the room. It's quite a popular term of late in Christian circles. For those of you who maybe are unfamiliar, in the last five to ten years, a lot of professing Christians have been, as they put it, leaving or walking out of the church as it were, and for various reasons.

For some, it was theological, it was belief-based. For others, they thought the church overemphasized some things to the neglect of others. For others, it was the fact that, oh, this Christianity thing, they're so exclusive and that can't possibly be true.

The reasons are varied, but the end results have remained pretty much the same. All of these folks, as the name suggests, went on a project of deconstructing their faith, hence the term deconstructing.

They wanted to tear it all down and then get back to the real essence of what they said was Christianity. And as they saw it, they were replacing the Christianity they knew with what they said was a more purer form of it.

Deconstruction and the Drift Into Theological Liberalism

Now, if you know anything about this whole movement of deconstruction, what ended up happening really is it just became classic theological liberalism. Classic theological liberalism said the Bible isn't God's word, it might contain God's word, but there's a lot of man's word in there too, so we don't really view it as God's word.

Jesus isn't the only way to be saved. Yes, he is a way, probably the best way, as some of them put it, but that whole Jesus is the only way to be saved thing, not so much. Well, sin, oh please, that's an outmoded concept.

People are innately good. The church overemphasizes this sin thing too much. Let's get away from all that and let's get back to recognizing the innate goodness of people. Funny, the movement called deconstruction pretty much ends up every time in the same place.

Now, you may think, well, if he's starting with this, he must not think that deconstruction is all that good of a thing. But, and this might surprise you, I actually sympathize with those who've gone down this road.

I don't necessarily like their conclusions, but I don't blame them for asking questions. Because if I'm truly honest, and my conviction about this has only grown in the last month as I've had time away to read and pray and reflect and chat to other brother pastors, I genuinely believe that there is a sanctified deconstruction, a good kind, not the kind that leads you into error, but a good kind of deconstruction that needs to take place in the church.

I've come to the conclusion that lots of people have ideas about church, and usually their ideas are some mixture of what they grew up with, what they, you know, would think or should think happens, stuff that they expect when they come to church.

And as someone who's been teaching the Bible for quite some time, I've come to the conclusion that quite frankly, many of us, myself included, have views about church life, about what happens when the church gathers together, that has more to do with personal preference and tradition than it does what this book has to say.

And I want to argue that if our ideas about church life have more to do with what we expect and what we want out of the church instead of what God has said, then beloved, we're going to find ourselves severely impoverished, we're going to find ourselves severely unhelped when it comes to God's plan for us as his people.

And so for the rest of this month, I want to engage with you in an act of what I've described as sacred deconstruction. What I want to do in this series is essentially, I want to do both something positive and negative.

I want to do two things really in this series that we're calling Life in the Father's House. On the positive side, I want us to develop a vision for body life that is radically centered on and organically formed by the scriptures.

Since we believe, at least here at Redeemer we do, that this book is God's holy and divine word, anybody agree with me on that much? Yeah, we believe that this book is God's word. I happen to think that in whatever conversations we have about the church, what it is, what it should or shouldn't do, what it should or shouldn't be, this is the only conversation partner that really matters.

We may have opinions about things and that's fine, but we have to recognize that our opinions must bow at the foot of King Jesus as he has spoken in his word. And so my hope over the next five weeks as we look at Romans chapter 12 verses 9 through 21, the next three weeks and then the final two weeks we look at Ephesians 4 11 to 16, as we look at this I'm trusting that God's word is going to paint for us a beautiful and a glorious picture of life together as the people of God.

So that's the positive thing I want to do, I want us to come away from this series saying, really let me put it like this, if at the end of this series you come away from this saying, I love the church and not this, not necessarily this local church, but the church, the thing that God has brought together in Jesus Christ that Christ shed his blood for, if you come away from this saying, I love the church more now than when this series has started, I would have achieved my aim.

So that's the positive thing I want to do, but there is a negative and I don't want to spend too much on this, but I don't know, I do want to acknowledge it. Negatively, I want to collide head-on and hopefully, I put destroy in my notes, but I'm going to say bring to an end.

Destroy sounds kind of harsh. Hopefully bring to an end what I think is a problem and just when I was thinking I was alone in this, this past couple of days I was up in Roseburg at an event and I got to hear some pastors speaking about life in the gathered church and it was three speakers and all three speakers said the same thing, that somewhere along the way, the church with a big C started to buy into this idea that the church exists primarily for the, the word that one person used was the self-actualization, big fancy word for saying the churches is basically to make you the best version of yourself and so people come to church expecting that the church is here to meet their needs and to make them be the best version of themselves they can be.

Here's the problem, as we're going to see over the next few weeks, the bible's view of the church is not that you come to church to be served, is that you come to church to serve one another and here's the thing, as you serve one another, people will serve you.

Thankfully God knows us better than we know ourselves, all of us are played with a little bit of what my dad used to call the big I and the small you. We, all of us, myself included, we all have a little bit of a sense of I'm really important and you need to serve me, big I, small you, but my hope in this series is that we will gain a vision of the church where we don't come just to be served but we come to serve one another.

Now I'm not naive enough to think that this series is going to bring about an instant transformation and we're all going to just get this first time, no, this is the beginning of what I hope will be an ongoing conversation in the life of our body as we think about how we can better serve one another and as the series says, engage in life in the Father's house.

So kind of a long introduction, I hope you're in Romans chapter 12 already, Romans chapter 12 and verses 9 through 21, that's what we're going to read, Romans chapter 12 verses 9 through 21, if you grabbed one of the red Bibles that we give away, that's on page 1006, Romans chapter 12, reading from verse 9 through to verse 21.

Romans chapter 12 from verse 9 through 21, it's our custom usually that when we gather for the preaching of God's Word and we're about to read the Word, we stand, so if you're able to do so, can I invite you to stand with me as I read this portion of God's Word.

Romans chapter 12, beginning in verse 9, reading through to verse 21. Brothers and sisters, these are God's words, God says to us, let love be without hypocrisy, detest evil, cling to what is good, love one another deeply as brothers and sisters, outdo one another in showing honour, do not lack diligence in zeal, be fervent in the spirit, serve the Lord, rejoice in hope, be patient in affliction, be persistent in prayer, share with the saints in their needs, pursue hospitality, bless those who curse you, bless and do not curse, rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, live in harmony with one another, do not be proud, instead associate with the humble, do not be wise in your own estimation, do not repay anyone evil for evil, give careful thought to do what is honourable in everyone's eyes, if possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Friends, do not avenge yourselves, instead leave room for God's wrath, because it is written, vengeance belongs to me, I will repay, says the Lord, but if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him something to drink, for in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head, do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.

Pray that God will bless that reading of his word and give us understanding of it, join with me as I pray, ask for God's help, and then we launch into our message for this afternoon. Heavenly Father, we are thankful to you, because first of all, you are good, you give us all that we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of your Son, and every time that we open up your word, we receive just a little bit more of that knowledge we need.

Father, I take a moment to thank you for your goodness in the time that I was away, thank you for those who filled this pulpit while I was gone, pray for Pastor Tommy and Pastor Lucas and Fred and Doug, who opened up your word and proclaimed your good news from this pulpit, I pray that you would bless each and every one of them, that you would strengthen them, that they would continue to be always abounding in the work of the Lord.

Father, thank you for the local churches I got to spend time with during my time away, thank you for Veritas Church in Roseville, Trinity Presbyterian Church here in Medford, Creekside Bible Church up in Rogue River, and Faith Bible Church out in Sharpsburg, Georgia, thank you for those local churches, thank you that in every place you have people who you are bringing together and they are calling upon your name and bringing you glory, and I pray for all of those churches, that you would strengthen them, that their witness would be vibrant, that they would, as we even just read, not lack diligence and zeal, but they would be fervent in the Spirit.

And so Father, I pray for us even now as we come to this time in your word. Father, I pray that as we talk about a subject that at times can be a little bit cliche and one that we think we know, Father, we pray that you would do unfamiliar work through a familiar subject, and I ask all these things in Jesus' name and for his sake, amen.

Well, please be seated. I want to speak to you for a few moments from a subject that I've given the title, a culture of Christian love, a culture of Christian love. As we think about life in the Father's house, I want to look at various cultural markers that should mark life in the Father's house, and the first and I think the most foundational is a culture of Christian love.

As we come to Romans chapter 12, we need to do a little bit of background as to where we are in this letter since we're kind of jumping very much into the middle of it. As we come to Romans chapter 12, Paul has been expounding the glories of the gospel in all of their fullness.

He's dealt with our need for the gospel, he's dealt with God's provision, he's dealt with the fact that God is transforming us through that gospel, he's dealt with the reality that there are some people who will believe and some who will not, and God is sovereign over that.

He's dealt with the faithfulness of God to his promises in the gospel. As it were, Paul has climbed the mountaintop of spiritual truth and he has seen vast and glorious land for 11 straight chapters. As I heard one pastor this weekend put it, as Paul comes to the end of chapter 11, he starts to theologically hyperventilate, which I thought was a great picture for what happens at the end of chapter 11.

That great benediction where he says, oh the depths of the riches, both of the wisdom and the knowledge of God, how unsearchable are his judgments and untraceable his ways, and he ends at verse 36, for from him and through him and to him are all things, to him be the glory forever.

For 11 straight chapters he has, and I think sometimes we miss this, Paul himself is having to think about these truths as he's being inspired to write them, and as he thinks on these truths and he's reminded of these truths, he himself is caught up in worship.

The only way that he can respond is with a heart of worship. But then in chapter 12, after kind of surveying the land and seeing these vast and glorious plains of gospel truth, is as it were, Paul comes down from the mountain in chapter 12, and now he starts to explore how all of this actually works itself out in the life of God's people.

He starts to survey these rich lands of application as he applies the gospel message to every area of life, and when you come to chapter 12, the real focus in chapter 12 is on how the gospel affects the gathering of God's people.

How it is that redeemed people, the people who have experienced all of the great truths in chapters 1 through 11, how all of those people live together like redeemed people. And so in verses 1 and 2 he starts off with this great imperative that we are to give ourselves to the Lord entirely as living sacrifices, and that this happens as a result of the renewing of our mind.

In verses 3 to 8 he then kind of explains the power of the Spirit in this, that he both enables us as God's people and he empowers us as God's people. And then he comes to chapter 12 and verse 9, where he really starts to think about, okay, now that we've dealt with all that is true, all the indicatives, that's a fancy way of saying, all the things that are statements of reality, this is what's true of you, how does this then become imperative?

Another fancy way of saying, how do we actually start to live this out? Really there are three themes we're going to consider in our three weeks in Romans 12, 9 through 21. So look at your own Bible for a moment.

In verses 9 and 10, the theme we're going to consider today is love. So you kind of have a heading statement there in verse 9, let love be without hypocrisy. We'll talk about that in just a moment. But he starts off with love in verses 9 and 10.

Verse 11 is its own unit where he discusses the idea of zeal, the idea of zeal. So again, heading statement in verse 11, do not lack diligence in zeal. We'll talk about that next week. And then in two weeks we're going to see verses 12 to 21, service.

So really that theme begins end of verse 11 where he says, serve the Lord. Well what does that look like? Verses 12 through 21. And so we're going to look at those three themes over the next three weeks, love, zeal, and service.

And each of those is going to build on the other as we think about this idea of life in the Father's house. Well if we're going to truly partake of life in the Father's house at the foundation of that life, at the foundation of our shared life together, brothers and sisters, is the virtue of love.

Love for God first and foremost, which of course means love for Christ. And flowing out of that love for God and love for Christ, love for one another. Now instinctively we know this as Christians, we know that love is central.

The Bible tells us that God is himself love. And over and over and over again in the Bible we are commanded to love one another. But here's where this gets tricky, because though the Bible makes it clear that God is love, and the Bible makes it clear that we are all to love one another, we can all come to those commands and those realities with very different definitions of what it means to love one another.

And so the question we really want to be asking this afternoon is, what kind of love should mark the shared life of the people of God? If we truly say we love one another, what does that actually look like?

Not according to us, but according to God's word. If we truly say we love one another, what does that actually mean day to day? Well that kind of leads to my big idea for this message. Simply put, God's people should be marked by a love that is honest, discerning, familial, and selfless.

Let me say that again. The idea for this message is that God's people should be marked by a love that is honest, discerning, familial, and selfless. A love that is honest, a love that is discerning, a love that is familial, and a love that is selfless.

For the rest of our time, I want to briefly look at five features of Christian love that Paul teaches us, and how these five features can transform our lives as God's people. Five features that I think rise out from this text.

Four are explicit, one is implicit. Four of them are stated by Paul, one is in the background and he's assuming it. So five features of Christian love that I want us to consider. Five points, I want to try and be as quick as I can.

So consider with me first of all, point number one, Christian love is honest. Christian love is honest. So look at the beginning of verse nine with me, Romans 12, verse nine in your Bibles, that first line there, let love be without hypocrisy.

Let love be without hypocrisy. What's interesting is that the phrase that's translated at least in the Christian standard Bible as without hypocrisy, it's a phrase in English but it's actually just one word.

It's one word, without hypocrisy is actually a pretty literal translation because it's just a negative prefix, and then the word we actually get hypocrite from. But there's more to it than just being without hypocrisy.

You see, hypocrisy has kind of morphed in meaning over the years. In the ancient world, to Paul's audience, when Paul said that love should be without hypocrisy, all of his audience would have heard the same thing.

You see, in the ancient world, a hypocrite wasn't always a bad person. Do you know who hypocrites were in the ancient world? Who said actors? Actors. Actors were hypocrites. Why? Because they, in the ancient world, would put on a mask for the purpose of playing a role.

That's what that word means. Hoopoe over Kratos was the word for a actor's mask. It was what play actors wore. So if you went to see a play, I'm from London, we have a little part London that's called the West End, where all the theatres are, so in the, if this were the ancient world, you'd go to the equivalent of the West End and you'd go see a play and all the actors didn't show their faces.

They wore masks to show which character they were. But over time, the meaning of this word began to change. It started with, funny enough, politicians being called hypocrites. Which really doesn't surprise anyone if you know the world of politics.

But politicians were called hypocrites because what they would often do is not tell the truth, but they would pander to their base. They would play a role to get votes. Remember, this is the Greco-Roman world, the beginnings of what we know as democracy.

And over time, this word morphed from just the word for an actor putting on a mask to a politician kind of pandering to pretty much anybody who played a role instead of being honest and sincere. And that's the definition of hypocrisy that you all, and I know, that a hypocrite is somebody who says they're one thing, but they're actually something else.

So when Paul says here that let love be without hypocrisy, he is calling you and me and all of us to be honest in our love for others. Paul essentially is saying that love is meant to be the real deal.

As one writer put it, that love is to be genuine and not counterfeit. But what's fascinating is that our English translations all have the verb be in there. So let love be without hypocrisy or let love be sincere.

The thing is, Paul didn't actually use a verb. It literally just says, it's three words in the Love without hypocrisy. And love is a noun, not a verb. That tells me something. It says here that Paul, at least for Paul, Paul is telling us that this isn't a suggestion.

Neither is this even a command about how things should be. No, no, no. Paul is saying that this is what love actually is. The kind of love that Christians have by its very nature is honest. And there are some massive implications that flow from that very simple fact that Christian love is honest.

You could substitute the word genuine. It gets you to the same point. So massive implications. But I want to focus on just two as we think about life in the Father's house. Two implications that flow from this.

First of all, if love is supposed to be honest or genuine, then first of all, honest love, genuine love will look different from person to person because people are different. Love will look different from person to person because people are different.

In preparing this message, I looked up online what the world population is. Did you know we're at 7 .9 billion people already? We're almost at eight. I remember growing up the number was always six. Now we're almost at eight.

7 .9 billion people live on this planet as of 2022. Think about that for a moment. That's 7 .9 million individual image bearers. People who bear God's very image. That unites humanity. But does that make humanity uniform?

No, it doesn't. No two people. My wife and I were talking about this the other day. We were talking about my brother. My brother and I grew up in the same home with the same parents in the same area. And yet me and my brother couldn't be more different.

Different emphases, different things we prefer, different ways of carrying ourselves. We couldn't be more different. But people could look at us and say, wait a minute, but you grew up in the same home.

How could you be so different? Well, that's just part of how God has made us all. We are all incredibly different. No two people are the same. And that means no two Christians are the same. And if no two Christians are the same, the reality is that even though all Christians are commanded to love one another, for it to be genuine, for it to be honest, means that sometimes Christian love will look different in its manifestation from person to person.

Kofi, why are you laboring this point? No, simply put, I'm laboring it because sometimes people assume that love is uniform. If you love me, you will do this. And I want to pause and say, who told you that?

Now, let's be clear. That doesn't mean you get to do things that are hurtful to people and say you're loving them. No, no, let's be, we'll talk about that in just a moment. There is such a thing as an objective standard for what love is.

But the reality is, if love is going to be honest, if Christian love is going to be genuine, then that love is going to manifest itself in different ways. Why? Because every single one of you in this room are different people.

You have things that are demonstrations of love that maybe don't match with other people. I'll give you an example. How many of you have I had over at my house at some point? Okay, a number of you. If you haven't, you are welcome.

Our house is always open to everyone. If you come to our house, one of the things you'll notice very quickly is I like food. Food is great. In fact, we're having a potluck after the service. Please stay, join us, because food is good.

I like food and I like cooking. I really enjoy it, actually. Well, let me put it this way. I mostly enjoy it. Some days I don't, but most of the time, I genuinely enjoy cooking. Which means if you come to my house, one of the things that I put most priority on is the food that you're going to eat when you come to my house.

Laura will tell you, I'm constantly researching recipes, constantly looking at stuff. I'm not very OCD about a lot of things, but I am when it comes to cooking. Why? Because cooking is one of the primary ways I show people I love them.

Now, somebody could say, no, he's not very loving. All he does is cook for people, but hold on. That's my way of showing that. You may have a very different way. So as I think about my wife, one of Laura's big ways is Laura likes to say kind things.

That's one way that she shows love. She also gives great hugs. I can say that because she's my wife. Her way of showing love looks very different to mine, but that doesn't mean I don't love her because I don't show her love in ways that she prefers.

Okay, Kofi, why are you laboring this point? Because the reality is in the life of God's people, love is going to look very different. For some people, love looks like a thousand conversations. For others, it's acts of service and meeting needs.

For others, it's just the gift of their presence. For others, it's, if it's usually me, some sort of grilled meat, regardless of what love looks like. Love is going to look different from person to person, and if we don't have a category for that, here's what ends up happening in church life.

Some of you have probably seen this. You don't love me. Well, this church isn't loving. Okay, well, why isn't this church loving? Because you don't do this. Okay, but what about this, this, this, this, and this?

No, no, no, this isn't happening, so you don't love me. What's happened in that moment? We've basically, think about this with me for a moment, we've basically said that Christian love doesn't need to be honest, it just needs to be what I want, and we won't call it hypocrisy, but basically what you're asking for is a sort of self-serving hypocrisy.

Be something you're not, so I can be happy. Hear me, Redeemer, before we ever accuse any believer, whether part of our church or outside of it, of being unloving, here's maybe a positive thing to do. Maybe we should start by looking for and thanking God for ways love is being shown genuinely, even if it isn't our preferred way, because maybe people are being honest, sincere, and genuine in their show of love, and we just aren't recognizing it.

And that should make sense, because I'm going to say this a lot over the next few weeks, it really isn't about you, ultimately. Christian love is ultimately about the other person. And so love will look different since people are different, and since people show love differently, that means also, here's my second big implication, honest, genuine love will, I hate to say it, it will make mistakes sometimes.

Some of you maybe have heard the name Owen Strand. Owen Strand's provost and professor of theology at Grace Bible Theological Seminary out in Conway, Arkansas. Count Owen as a personal friend, great guy.

And recently Owen posted on his Facebook page about an idea that he gave the label functional perfectionism. Functional perfectionism. He described it as the belief that says that though in theory we believe in Christians making mistakes and even sinning, in practice we don't expect them to, and when they do we must punish them.

You all know me, if you forgot I'm because I was away for a month, you know me, I tend to be pretty brutally honest. Have we not seen this in the life of the church too often? Where in theory we say we are all sinners being saved by grace, we're all good, but in practice we don't actually treat people that way.

We're not theologically perfectionist, but we're functionally perfectionist. We functionally act as though people should be perfect all the time. My friend Owen explains the dangers of this quite simply when he says in a functionally perfectionistic context everyone's terrified of acknowledging what ironically we all know to be true.

We are all light years away from being perfect. So you shouldn't really surprise anybody when people in church make mistakes. They say the wrong thing, they do the wrong thing, they mean well, but you know what?

Communications gets crossed, we all mean that, we're not hearing things. At my house we always say there's a difference between, you know, what was said and what you heard. All of these things happen and that can be done with actions.

There's so many reasons why believers can get it wrong, it happens. But unfortunately you see this sort of functional perfectionism when folks hold grudges and they harbor internal unhappiness and they hold people to what I frankly think is a devilish lie of unspoken expectations, only voicing them when they've had enough.

And I call it devilish because my bible says that the devil is the accuser of the brethren. I'm not saying the people who do this are devilish, but they're acting in devilish ways when they would rather accuse the brethren than actually hear the brethren out.

That sounds really negative, so let me put it in a more positive way. If Christians make mistakes and if honest, genuine love will at times make mistakes because we are all learning, we are all figuring this thing out, then positively we want to be a people who are marked by letting people get it wrong when they're trying.

So somebody said something to you in a way you maybe didn't like. Okay, I'm gonna, wasn't it 1 Corinthians 13? It says love believes all things. You know what, if people get it wrong, all right, let's be thankful for where they got it right and hey, let's give them another chance.

I mean, isn't that how our God deals with us? Doesn't he show us mercy every time that we mess up? Doesn't he not just cast us away every time we mess up, but he gives us another chance? Oh, faith family, let's not hold people hostage to what we think love should look like.

Instead, let's cultivate an environment together where people can love honestly and they can love genuinely. So much more I'd like to say, but I'm really behind the clock, so I need to get moving. Uh, Christian love is first and foremost honest, but there's a second feature of Christian love in this passage.

Point number two, uh, Christian love is discerning. Christian love is discerning. Christian love is discerning. So look at the end of verse 12. Paul says, let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil, cling to what is good.

Those two phrases are actually one clause in the original language. And this builds right on the reality that Christian love is honest. Because you see, if Christian love is honest, then Christian love will be honest in, catch this, discerning the difference between relational good and relational evil.

I don't want to be here too long, but in a culture where we are essentially told that, I mean, you've all heard these phrases, I'm sure, you know, love is love. You can't put limits on love. This point needs to be made that, yes, while Christian love is honest, Christian love is objective and not subjective.

So the psalmist can say, if you're taking notes, Psalm 97 verse 10, the psalmist can say in Psalm 97 verse 10, you who love the Lord, hate evil. It is quite possible for you to both love something and hate its opposite.

It's not, oh, if I love, then I can't hate anything ever. Well, no, pause. Bible says that if you love the Lord, you're going to hate what is evil. If we love God, we'll hate the things that God hates.

And thankfully, God has not left it to us to determine the things that God hates. We don't have to sit there and kind of wander in the dark and think, I wonder what it is that God doesn't like. Keep something in Romans 12.

Turn with me to Proverbs chapter six. Proverbs chapter six. If you've ever wondered, I wonder what God really doesn't like. Well, praise God. God doesn't leave us in the dark about that. Proverbs chapter six and verses 16 to 19.

Proverbs chapter six verses 16 to 19. Proverbs says, Yahweh the Lord hates six things. Oh, okay. This is nice and easy. He tells us up front how many there are. In fact, seven are detestable to him. All right.