January 30, 2023 Show with Brigadier General Kevin Jarrard on “Marriage & Parenting God’s Way”

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January 31, 2023

January 30, 2023 Brigadier General KEVIN JARRARD, an elder at @ Grace Community Church of Dawsonville, GA who will discuss: “MARRIAGE & PARENTING GOD’s WAY!” & announcing: “The 2023 FAITH & MEDICINE CONFERENCE, Cumming, GA!”

00:03: Live from historic downtown Carlisle, Pennsylvania, home of founding father
00:08: James Wilson, 19th century hymn writer George Duffield, 19th century gospel minister
00:13: George Norcross, and sports legend Jim Thorpe, it's Iron Sharpens Iron.
00:20: This is a radio platform in which pastors, Christian scholars, and theologians address the burning issues facing the church and the world today.
00:31: Proverbs chapter 27 verse 17 tells us, Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
00:38: Matthew Henry said that in this passage, we are cautioned to take heed with whom we converse and directed to have a view in conversation to make one another wiser and better.
00:50: It is our hope that this goal will be accomplished over the next two hours, and we hope to hear from you, the listener, with your own questions.
00:57: And now, here's your host, Chris Arnzen. Good afternoon,
01:10: Cumberland County, Pennsylvania, Lake City, Florida, and the rest of humanity living on the planet
01:15: Earth who are listening via live streaming at ironsharpensironradio .com.
01:21: This is Chris Arnzen, your host of Iron Sharpens Iron Radio, wishing you all a happy Monday on this 30th day of January 2023.
01:31: I am thrilled to have back on this program as a returning guest an old friend who has the same name but a new title and position in the
01:42: United States Marine Corps. I have on the program a formerly
01:48: Colonel Kevin Girard, who is now Brigadier General Kevin Girard, and he's also an elder at Grace Community Church of Dawsonville, Georgia, where Ray Rhodes, the very well -known author, is the senior pastor.
02:07: And today we're going to be addressing marriage and parenting God's way, and we'll also be announcing the 2023
02:13: Faith and Medicine Conference in Cumming, Georgia, and a subsequent speaking engagement where General Girard will be speaking there in Cumming.
02:26: And it is my honor and privilege to welcome you back to Iron Sharpens Iron Radio, Brigadier General Kevin Girard.
02:35: Thank you for having me back, Chris. It's always a real treat for me to be on your program, to remember all of our old friends there in Carlisle, Pennsylvania.
02:46: I'm thankful for your ministry, brother, and I'm looking forward to talking with you about marriage and parenting.
02:54: And for the sake of our listeners who are not very familiar with what the different ranks in the military entail, tell us about what exactly are the responsibilities of a
03:12: Brigadier General. And by the way, congratulations on that promotion. But if you could tell us about that.
03:20: Sure. Thank you, Chris. I'm honored to serve our country. I've been a
03:25: Marine longer than I've been just about anything else, except maybe a son and a brother.
03:31: So I am kind of privileged to serve our country. I've been mostly a reserve officer throughout the last 30 years, but significant periods of active service and being promoted to this rank will mean mostly active service from now to through the end of my career for several more years.
03:54: But usually, to whom much is given, much is required.
03:59: And so I have broad responsibilities for large numbers of Marines and various policies that affect their lives.
04:10: So I'm headed in a few weeks to the 1st Marine Division, a storied
04:15: Marine unit out in Camp Pendleton, California, where I'll spend most of the summer assigned there.
04:22: But thankful for the opportunity to serve, Chris, and thankful for what the
04:30: Lord has done. I think any of us who have spent long years in uniform who are believers know that perhaps more than most that the
04:42: Lord ordains all things. I'm thankful to have learned that lesson. He's preserved my life and kept me and directed my steps.
04:50: So praise be to God. Amen. Now tell us about Grace Community Church of Dawsonville, Georgia.
05:00: Thank you for that opportunity, Chris. I think that's what I'm most excited about is our church.
05:07: This is my hometown. There's six generations of Girards buried close to where we are here in beautiful North Georgia.
05:14: But when we returned here after some years of active service, reformed theology was not something that could be found.
05:24: It was a theological wasteland, you might say, at Northeast Georgia. And so I was connected to Dr.
05:33: Ray Rhodes through a mutual friend that connected us through a Ligonier conference.
05:39: And Ray told me that he, too, was looking for a church, had been unable to find one.
05:46: And so we took a plunge and planted Grace Community Church in Dawsonville, Georgia, 16 years ago,
05:55: I think, maybe if my math is correct, 16 years ago. And we have served alongside one another as the two elders there.
06:04: We're looking to add to our eldership as the church has grown. The Lord has grown the church significantly, especially over the last few years.
06:14: And so we've got a congregation of maybe 150 on Sunday mornings. That's our normal attendance.
06:20: And so we're thrilled to see what the Lord is doing there at Grace Community Church. And I'm honored to serve along Dr.
06:27: Rhodes. He is working on what will be the definitive biography of Charles Spurgeon.
06:33: And so we're excited for that book's publication, we hope, later this year, to go alongside his earlier volumes on Susie and their marriage.
06:47: Yeah, well, I definitely have to have Ray back on the program. He always proves to be a fascinating guest.
06:57: And the most recent book that he wrote on Charles Spurgeon's wife that General Gerard just mentioned is titled
07:08: Susie, the Life and Legacy of Susanna Spurgeon, wife of Charles H.
07:13: Spurgeon. And that is published by Moody Publications. And you can get that from our sponsors at Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service, cvbbs .com.
07:27: That's C -V for Cumberland Valley, B -B -S for BibleBookService .com. And by the way, the website for Grace Community Church of Dawsonville, Georgia is gracechurchdawsonville .org,
07:41: gracechurchdawsonville .org. And Dawson is spelled D -A -W -S -O -N, gracechurchdawsonville .org.
07:52: Well, tell us also now about this speaking engagement that you have.
07:59: I believe it is immediately following the 2023 Faith and Medicine Conference in Cumming, Georgia that is being organized by Dr.
08:13: Rhett Bergeron, who was my guest recently on Iron Trip and Zion Radio. And I look forward to having him back on the show.
08:19: He was an extremely fascinating guest as well, the founder of Real Health Medical.
08:27: And so tell us about this conference where you are speaking on the very theme that we are addressing today.
08:37: Sure, Chris. Dr. Bergeron is a good friend. Cumming is maybe 30 minutes from where we are, a little less in Dawson.
08:46: And so many of our members see Dr. Bergeron as their primary care provider or his clinics.
08:56: And so he's a good friend to us, a good friend to Reformed Theology.
09:03: I spoke at the Faith and Medicine Conference last year just really about that very subject, about faith and medicine and how we are to bring redeeming love to bear in our vocations.
09:20: And so I enjoyed it very much. He invited me to participate this year in a little bit different role.
09:27: So the Faith and Medicine Conference is all day Friday and then finishes up about midday
09:32: Saturday. The biblical counseling module is sort of stapled on to the backside of that.
09:39: And the reason that it has become associated is really because in the world of biblical counseling, we know that spiritual issues affect the body and vice versa.
09:55: The body affects our spirit in many ways. And so one of the most common recommendations that we have as biblical counselors is to recommend that some of our counselees get a full physical at the outset of counseling to see if there are any physiological issues that could be affecting their inner man, so to speak.
10:17: And so Dr. Bergeron's practice is always a good place to refer folks to, to just get a good head -to -toe checkup to see if there are any physiological factors that could be creating some issues.
10:32: So the relationship between the inner man and the outer man is not something that we ignore as biblical counselors.
10:39: The Bible talks frequently about that relationship between the inner man and the outer man.
10:45: And so we're thankful to have Christian medical providers like Dr. Bergeron who are willing to help us with that relationship.
10:56: Well, once again, let me give the website where you can find out more information about this conference, which is coming up very soon,
11:04: February 3rd and February 4th, which is this
11:11: Saturday and Sunday. Friday and Saturday, I think,
11:16: Chris, Friday and Saturday. Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, you're right. It's this Friday and Saturday. Sorry about that, folks.
11:22: This Friday and Saturday, February 3rd and 4th, the website is faithandmedicine .org,
11:28: faithandmedicine .org, and you can find out all about the Faith in Medicine conference as well as the speaking engagement where General Gerard will be speaking.
11:41: And by the way, we already have a listener question.
11:47: My question is for General Gerard. Are you intimidated working beside celebrity pastor and author
11:55: Ray Rhoades? Are you scared of him and awe of him? Is hero worship a temptation for you?
12:01: And that was written by Ray Rhoades. Well, the answer is a quite resounding yes to all of those,
12:12: Chris. I will be sure to put him in his place privately, privately,
12:20: Chris. You know, I have met Ray at many conferences
12:28: I have attended. I've interviewed him several times. I've had long chats with him, and that is definitely the funniest thing he's ever said to me anyway.
12:40: Well, we are longtime fans of the Andy Griffith Show, and so we routinely refer to ourselves as Andy and Barney.
12:49: But there is some debate about which one of us is which. One of us is
12:57: Andy and the other is Barney, Chris. So I'll let others decide who is who. By the way, let me give our e -mail address to all of the other listeners who may have a question for you on marriage and parenting
13:17: God's way. That's ChrisArnzen at gmail .com, C -H -R -I -S -A -R -N -Z -E -N at gmail .com.
13:26: As always, give us your first name at least, your city and state, and your country of residence. Please only remain anonymous if your question involves a personal and private matter, and I could readily understand with a subject like marriage and parenting.
13:40: I keep mispronouncing parenting. Marriage and parenting, I could readily understand people having personal and private questions, and so you may remain anonymous if that is the case, if you are indeed asking a question that involves marriage and parenting that is personal and private.
14:04: But otherwise, if it's just a general question about what the Bible has to say about those very important issues, please give us your first name at least, city and state, and country of residence.
14:16: Now, starting off with marriage, this is obviously, as I already mentioned, a very crucial area in the life of Christians, and it's also very often an area that really, perhaps even more aggressively than any other area of life, tests the authenticity of whether or not the husband and wife are truly regenerate, are truly children of God, because obviously, living with someone day in and day out, and going through some of the most trying times together in life, as well as the most joyful times in life, that can really be a place where one's faith, as it were, is put to the test, as they say, when the rubber meets the road.
15:24: And tell us about that, as far as how marriage is really that testing ground.
15:36: And I'm getting emails as we speak, that's kind of why I'm speaking so clumsily right now. But tell us about that.
15:45: It's interesting, in the course of biblical counseling, when a couple will come to receive marital counseling, that really is the first thing we talk about, is the gospel.
15:59: Because marital challenges may be the first time that their faith has really been tested, and so the first thing that we'll attempt to ascertain is, am
16:12: I dealing with a husband and a wife who are both regenerate, who are both truly believers, or is perhaps one of the two a false convert?
16:22: Maybe they thought they were converted, but in the course of counseling, they're either converted through the course of counseling, or their faith is tested in such a way that they reject the gospel completely and walk away.
16:41: So really, before we get into whatever the problems are, the challenges that they're experiencing,
16:48: I think we begin with the foundation of the gospel. Does each party, the husband and the wife, are they truly believers?
16:57: Do they understand the gospel? And are they truly united with Christ?
17:04: And then we move on from there. And of course, if they are believers, if they are in Christ, then there is great hope that the problems in the marriage can be appropriately addressed, and that there can be reconciliation and joy.
17:23: And even in the case of an unbeliever, what we're working towards is their conversion.
17:29: There is hope there also that Jesus is merciful and come to Christ, and then the problems in the marriage are the symptoms.
17:40: They're not the real problem oftentimes, Chris. We have a listener in Metro Manila in the
17:50: Philippines, Ramon, who has a question. And the question is,
17:58: I was just looking at it, and now I can't find it. While I'm looking for it, our email address is chrisarnson at gmail .com,
18:06: chrisarnson at gmail .com. Okay, I just found it. Can General Gerard explain what
18:13: Ephesians 6 .4 means and give some tips about it?
18:18: Well, let me read that. Ephesians 6 .4, I'm reading from, of course, the
18:25: New American Standard Bible, sponsors of this program. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the
18:37: Lord. A very good question because there may be people who are parents who try to justify their ill treatment of their children by redefining what it means to provoke your children to anger.
18:54: So what do you think it means? Yeah, I would first commend the book.
19:00: I'm going to be sharing the platform this Saturday with Lou Priolo, Chris, and he is one of my heroes in the biblical counseling world.
19:09: And his book, I told him this once before. I'll tell him again Saturday. His book,
19:15: The Heart of Anger, really transformed me as a father.
19:20: And anger is the sin that is most vexing to me in many ways.
19:26: And so Lou's book, The Heart of Anger, really helped me in my journey as a
19:31: Christian father. But I think to answer Ramon's question, all discipline is of two forms, formative and corrective.
19:42: And when we hear the word discipline, that often has negative connotations in our culture.
19:48: It's lamentable because it should not be universally associated with punishment.
19:55: But that's really the way it's used in our culture. If you're going to discipline a child, people will think you're going to punish them.
20:02: But I found there's an inverse relationship between formative discipline, which is training, and corrective discipline, which is what we normally associate with some sort of sanctions or punishment.
20:16: The less training there is, the more punishment there is. The more training that takes place in the home, father to his children, the less need there is for what we normally associate with as punishment, corrective discipline.
20:32: And I'll give a simple example. If I want my son to clean his room, and I make a habit of going in with him each morning and very cheerfully working alongside him.
20:44: Okay, son, let me show you how to make the bed. Let's tuck in this and let's pick this up and pick that up.
20:50: And it's something that we joyfully do together so that I can show him, teach him, train him what the standard is for cleaning the task, cleaning your room.
21:01: It's a happy time for he and I to spend together. Then a few mornings, a few weeks down the road, when all
21:09: I have time to do is say, son, I need you to clean your room. He immediately understands the standard and has some happy memories of he and dad doing that together.
21:20: And so when I come back to inspect his work, I'm pleased with the outcome. I think too often, we just tell our children to do this, do that, we bark orders, and then we're frustrated with the outcome.
21:35: And that leads, frustration often leads to provoking our children to anger.
21:41: I think that's what the scripture means, Ephesians 6, 4, that we have unrealistic or unreasonable expectations of our children, and therefore it provokes them to anger,
21:52: Chris. Excellent question, Ramon, and I think an excellent answer.
21:58: Thank you. Keep listening to Iron Trip and Zion Radio there in the Philippines and keep spreading the word about the program there in your native country and beyond.
22:10: Speaking of which, you are, obviously, you've been announced and identified as a brigadier general in the
22:20: United States Marine Corps. You've been in the Marines, as you put it, longer than anything else you've been doing in your life.
22:30: Obviously, your primary guidance and influence, and not only just being a man and going about all the day -to -day activities all men in general are involved in, your greatest influence is not only the triune
22:52: God and the Holy Spirit dwelling within you and the scriptures, but how has being a
22:59: Marine affected your life and perhaps given you a unique way of living out your life as a husband and a parent?
23:17: Has being a Marine benefited the way you make decisions and the way you conduct yourself as a husband and parent?
23:31: Well, I think that any, for all of us, our vocation and the training that we undergo as part of our vocation as we bring that home, so to speak, it's usually a double -edged sword and I would say it's the same in the case of my training as a
23:50: Marine. There is much that I think that is beneficial, Chris, that I'm able to think methodically.
23:58: I'm really a professional planner in many ways, and so planning and attention to detail and imposing order on chaos are things that I learned in three decades as a
24:12: Marine. I hope that has had a positive impact on my marriage and my children.
24:21: The other edge of that sword, however, is when from time to time, my wife and children have gently reminded me that they are not
24:30: Marines. So my home is not a
24:37: Marine Corps base, and so I'm thankful that I have a godly wife and godly children who help remind me of the appropriate spheres that I live in.
24:52: I may be recognized by our government as a general when I come into our home.
24:58: The rank that I hold is father and husband, and that's a very different proposition.
25:04: It comes with a whole different set of responsibilities, and I need to bring different skills to bear.
25:11: But I hope as a Marine, what I have modeled for my family,
25:17: Chris, is Romans 13, that being in the service of our country, bearing the sword is a occupation that God has ordained.
25:29: He has given us governments as a good gift, and that those who bear the sword are to be a scourge to evildoers and a blessing to those that do good.
25:40: So that's certainly been my charge as a Marine straight from Romans 13 on behalf of my family and on our country that I have fulfilled that God -given calling for all soldiers that they are to bear the sword in the cause of justice.
26:00: When disciplining your children, does the phrase drop and give me 50 ever come up?
26:08: Well, more so with the boys than the girls, perhaps.
26:14: You know, my girls have soft places in my heart for my girls.
26:20: My boys have probably borne the brunt of my Marine -esque discipline,
26:27: Chris. But I think they have forgiven me for my excesses when
26:34: I did not take off my uniform, so to speak, before I came in the door. And that's something that they can chuckle about now.
26:42: Our baby is 19 years old, so all of our children are grown for the most part.
26:48: And so they tend to laugh about those things now that they're a little older. We're going to our first station break, folks.
26:57: If you have a question, once again, our email address is chrisarnsen at gmail .com,
27:03: C -H -R -I -S -A -R -N -Z -E -N at gmail .com. As always, give us your first name at least, your city and state, and your country of residence.
27:12: Please only remain anonymous if your question involves a personal and private matter. Don't go away.
27:18: We'll be right back with Brigadier General Kevin Girard and Marriage and Panthering God's Way, Parenting God's Way, right after these messages.
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41:43: always mention Chris Arnzen of Iron Sherpa and Zion Radio we're now back with our guest
41:49: Brigadier General Kevin Girard and we are talking about marriage and parenting
41:55: God's way if you have a question our email address is chrisarnzen at gmail .com
42:01: chrisarnzen at gmail .com give us your first name at least, your city and state and your country of residence we have an anonymous listener who asks
42:11: Brigadier General Girard how free are you as a general in the
42:17: United States Marine Corps to speak openly without hesitation what the Bible teaches about marriage and parenting
42:28: General Girard thanks for the question Chris in as much as it is part of my duties to do so I feel very free
42:39: Chris it's not something that comes up everyday I'm an infantryman by trade but I certainly am very comfortable openly talking about my own family my own wife and offering any encouragement
42:55: I can to those that ask and just supporting the families that are part of my responsibility and looking after Marines taking care of their families often is part of that duty in my spheres which are somewhat limited to the infantry units that I've been a part of I've never really had my faith challenged in any way openly by any sort of hostility so I'm thankful for that I realize that my experience may be unique and that others may have experienced some challenges in living out their faith before the watching world but I think the closer you are to interpersonal violence in the course of our duties and war fighting the easier it is to bring reality to bear and of course we believe the
43:57: Bible is true because one of the reasons we believe the Bible is true is that it corresponds to reality the correspondence view the truths of the
44:09: Bible correspond to reality which is one of the ways that we can be confident that the
44:16: Bible is true Chris excellent question anonymous and if you are a first time questioner please email me your full name and mailing address obviously that information will not be disclosed to the public because you have won if indeed you are a first time questioner a free
44:37: New American Standard Bible compliments of the publishers of the NASB and also compliments of Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service cvbbs .com
44:46: will be shipping that Bible out to you free of charge so let us know if you are indeed a first time questioner
44:54: I think one of the things that attendees of a conference such as the one where you are speaking or even those that are seeking biblical counseling over marriage or parenting or anything else for that matter is that they want to learn something that they didn't already know obviously it's always valuable to be reminded of things that you already do know, things that you already knew the
45:28: Bible taught you but it's also I think probably something that those who are either attendees at a conference or those that are undergoing counseling they are hoping that they hear and learn something that they didn't even think of before and therefore that means they are likely doing things wrong and they may be even unaware that they are doing things wrong obviously when any of us is overtly committing a sin and a clear violation of the scriptures we typically all know that when we are doing that but there are times when we are just unconscious that we are not thinking and acting biblically.
46:15: Can you give us some ways that you think even many Christians are doing marriage and parenting
46:23: I don't know why I'm having a hard time saying parenting doing marriage and parenting the wrong way can you give us some of those issues that you may have even experienced of those that you have counseled or those that have visited a conference will even approach you and say wow
46:40: I didn't even think of that sure Chris when I was young and foolish
46:48: I had a romantic view of family life I think and as much as I thought that if I could just build a castle and dig a deep moat and raise the drawbridge and my wife and I could create a perfect little environment in which to raise our children we didn't need anything else that our family was sufficient to raise godly children we were a home school family for most of our lives and so I thought if I could wall off the world that the enemy was out there somewhere and that my primary duty was to protect my family from the world out there and then one of the ways the lord helped me is that he taught me that marriage and parenting in particular are really team sports and what we need more as much as anything else is the body of Christ to help us in our marriage and in our parenting duties and for most believers the body of Christ means our membership and commitment to the local church and so if I could give one piece of marital advice one piece of parenting advice to Christians it would be to love the church as Christ loved the church meaning you're willing to sacrifice everything else for the church what
48:20: I normally say I try to exaggerate to make my point but it's really not much of an exaggeration that I'm at church every time the doors are open because my life my marriage my family depends upon and so I think often times young Christians young home schooling
48:43: Christian schooling parents and families sometimes think that they don't esteem the body of Christ and the local church highly enough
48:53: Chris Christians we cannot live without the church we should not live without the church the priesthood of the believers we're priests together in corporate worship with the body of Christ to separate ourselves from the body of Christ places us in mortal danger and so that's the
49:18: I will make that point as part of the conference I make that point frequently in counseling that if you want to be you want to minister to your family then plant them in a local church and be committed
49:32: Chris yes that is certainly true that people really underestimate very often the importance of the local church and even when they join a church to begin with the requirements that they have in their own minds of what is the kind of church that they want to associate with very often involve comparatively superficial things they want to know how entertaining or at least how skilled and professional the music that is offered is they want to know how many programs they have for the children because they're really looking for babysitters unpaid babysitters that will be able to occupy much of their children's time to free up their own time they're looking for all kinds of things they're looking for a building that puts them in awe a magnificent and breathtaking structure perhaps and of course you have the the trend of many even turning who are formerly evangelicals turning to eastern orthodoxy and roman catholicism because of the mystique of the whole atmosphere of the religiosity present in those churches the smells and bells as we've often heard that phrase used do not people have to be extremely serious about what church they join and using the scriptures as a biblical litmus test where the things that should be in priority are coming from the bibles not from their own tastes yes that's exactly right
51:30: Chris find a biblical church one that has the marks of a biblical church and one of those of course is discipline when we're talking about bringing the team to bear on parenting and on marriage one of the issues that may arise in the course of marital counseling or counseling couples about parenting is that they may need the help of the church and that help includes the discipline of the church and so I tell people
52:03: I don't want to be a part of a church that is afraid to kick me out
52:09: I hope that if I ran headlong into sin that my fellow elder and brother
52:17: Ray Rhodes would come banging on my door one day and say no no further and confront me hold me accountable and that would be a great help to my wife and children for the church to be willing to hold me accountable when
52:35: I am committing sin and so I think Chris we just in modern modernity especially with our virtual world in which we have discarded actual real things for their virtual substitutes that we have lost much of the efficacy that is inherent when we're talking about the body of Christ we need to weep together we need to celebrate together
53:03: Ray and I performed a funeral yesterday afternoon for the son of one of our members and he was a young man the boy that died and so we wept with that family and we were able to say things to that family that no one else is able to say to them and I hope to give them the hope of the gospel that all takes place in the context of the body of Christ manifested in the local church we'll have you pick up we'll have you pick up right where you left off we have to go to our midway break it's going to be longer than the average break in the middle of the show as it always is in the middle of the show so please be patient with us and we'll be right back after these messages from our sponsors
54:04: James White of Alpha Omega Ministries here I'm very excited to announce that my long time friend Chris Arnson of Iron Sharpens Iron Radio and I are heading down to Atlanta, Georgia again for the
54:15: G3 National Conference that's Thursday, September 21st through Saturday the 23rd on a theme that I've been preaching, teaching writing about and defending in live public debates for most of my life
54:26: The Sovereignty of God I'll be joined on the speaking roster by Steve Lawson Vody Baucom, Paul Washer Virgil Walker, Scott Anuel and Josh Bice, founder of G3 Ministries And there's more great news,
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54:58: G3 ISIR for the 30 % discount, Chris Arnson I look forward to seeing you all
55:04: Thursday, September 21st through Saturday the 23rd at the G3 National Conference in Atlanta, Georgia on the
55:10: Sovereignty of God, make sure you stop by the Iron Sharpens Iron Radio Exhibitor booth and say hi to Chris Arnson while you're there, go to g3nin .org
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55:41: Iron Sharpens Iron Radio It's such a blessing to hear from Iron Sharpens Iron Radio listeners from all over the world
55:55: Here's Joe Reilly, a listener in Ireland who wants you to know about a guest on the show he really loves hearing interviewed,
56:04: Dr. Joe Moorcraft I'm Joe Reilly a faithful Iron Sharpens Iron Radio listener here in Atai in County Kildare, Northern Ireland, going back to 2005.
56:14: One of my very favorite guests on Iron Sharpens Iron is Dr. Joe Moorcraft. If you've been blessed by Iron Sharpens Iron Radio Dr.
56:22: Moorcraft and Heritage Presbyterian Church of Cumming, Georgia are largely to thank since they are one of the program's largest financial supporters.
56:30: Heritage Presbyterian Church of Cumming is in Forsyth County, a part of the Atlanta metropolitan area.
56:36: Heritage is a thoroughly biblical church, unwaveringly committed to Westminster standards, and Dr.
56:42: Joe Moorcraft is the author of an eight -volume commentary on the larger catechism. Heritage is a member of the
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57:27: That's 678 -954 -7831 If you visit, tell them
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01:09:04: That's Solid -Ground -Books .com Before I return to Brigadier General Kevin Girard and our continued discussion on marriage and parenting
01:09:15: God's way, I just have a couple of very important announcements to make. First of all, if you love this show, folks, and you do not want it to disappear from the airwaves, please go to IronSharpensIronRadio .com,
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01:11:39: Go to www .ironsharpensironradio .com, click Support, then click Click to Donate Now. Also, I hope that as many of you as possible can attend an upcoming conference that is a very exciting event.
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01:12:07: And they are having their first annual conference on the theme,
01:12:13: The New Birth. And this conference is being held March 3rd through the 5th of this year, 2023, in Milton, Florida.
01:12:23: The speakers include my friend, Pastor Joe Jackowitz, founder and president of First Love Ministries, and they have quite a number of other speakers on the panel as well, or on the roster.
01:12:36: So if you want more details, go to www .firstloveministries .org, www .firstloveministries .org, and you can get all the information you need on attending the first annual
01:12:46: First Love Ministries Bible Conference, examining The New Birth, March 3rd through the 5th, in Milton, Florida.
01:12:54: And if you are not a member of a Christ -honoring, biblically faithful, theologically sound, doctrinally solid church, no matter where you live on the planet
01:13:02: Earth, I may be able to help you find a church that is just as Christ -honoring and biblically faithful as Grace Community Church of Dawsonville, Georgia.
01:13:12: I have extensive lists spanning the globe. And if you are without a church that is biblically faithful, no matter where on the planet
01:13:20: Earth you live, send me an email to chrisarnson at gmail .com and put I need a church in the subject line.
01:13:26: I have helped many people in our audience in all parts of the planet Earth find churches, sometimes within just a couple of minutes from where they live, and that may be you too.
01:13:35: Send me that email to chrisarnson at gmail .com and put I need a church in the subject line. That's also the email address where you can send in a question to Brigadier General Kevin Gerard.
01:13:46: That is chrisarnson at gmail .com. chrisarnson at gmail .com. Give us your first name at least, your city and state, and your country of residence.
01:13:57: It seems like we've got a lot of anonymous listeners today sending in questions. We have another one who says, in your experience as a biblical counselor, do you experience more often that husbands are lacking in their leadership of their family and are too passive and let their wives control most, if not all, of the important decision -making in the home, or do you find more often the problem of the tyrannical dictator husband and parent who needs to be the one making all of the decisions and dismisses any input by his wife and perhaps even children when making family decisions?
01:14:46: Interesting. Most of the cases, I think, Chris, are somewhere in the middle.
01:14:52: Rarely do we get one extreme or the other. I think in many of the counselees that we see at our church and all of my counseling experience in the main is in the context of our local church here, which is a relatively small church in northeast
01:15:09: Georgia, so there's some context there. We don't have a wide reach geographically, but normally the truth is somewhere in the middle.
01:15:21: There are some areas where a husband is behaving in a domineering or tyrannical dictatorial fashion and some cases where the wife is usurping her husband's leadership, but I think
01:15:39: I have seen cases certainly of both failures on the part of husbands where they have behaved in a dictatorial manner, lording it over their wives and children, and then in some cases where fathers just sort of check out.
01:15:59: They can't be bothered. They want to get up, go to work, come home, and then they're consumed with the virtual world.
01:16:10: I suppose if I had to draw a trend, and I think that's really what the listener is after there in my experience, what the trends are,
01:16:18: Chris, again, I would go back to the phenomena of exchanging real for virtual, whether that's video games or pornography or any of the virtual attractions that the modern digital world offers.
01:16:39: I see husbands of all ages who are forfeiting real things, real relationships, real companionship for virtual companionships.
01:16:53: I like to say that followers do not equal friends.
01:16:59: You may have friends that are followers of your various social media endeavors, but you shouldn't expect your followers to come to the rescue.
01:17:09: It is your friends. Two are better than one, and a threefold cord is not easily broken, the scriptures say, and so I think for both men and women that challenge is something that is relatively new, this replacement of real companionship with virtual companionship, and it is having a tremendous negative impact on Christian marriages,
01:17:39: Chris. Well, thank you again, anonymous listener, and once again, if you are a first -time questioner, let us know because if you are, you have won a free
01:17:51: New American Standard Bible. We have Robert in Westchester County, New York, who asks, have you seen lasting negative effects upon the church and the body of Christ as a result of what occurred during the so -called
01:18:12: COVID pandemic? When I'm speaking of our local church, let me speak about that first,
01:18:25: Chris, and in our case, where you lived when COVID happened,
01:18:30: I think made a tremendous difference, so here in Northeast Georgia, we heard about COVID, we just didn't really pay it much attention.
01:18:39: Now, I recognize that some of that is the benefit of living in a relatively rural area, that there are challenges that urban communities have that we did not have simply because my closest neighbor is a quarter or a half mile away.
01:18:58: I can barely see the house from where I am, so we never shut down, really.
01:19:04: I think there was one Sunday where we did not meet or we met virtually, but after that, we moved our services outside into the parking lot, and we had our full regular worship service outside for several weeks in that first COVID spring, but by summertime, we were back inside and really without a lot of changes, and what we saw at our church,
01:19:31: Chris, was some growth. We received a number of what we call COVID refugees from churches that had stopped gathering or had moved to a completely virtual environment.
01:19:46: I mean, there are some things that I could do without, Chris. I could do without food. I've done without food for long stretches of time.
01:19:53: I guess I could do without something to drink for a day or two, without anything to eat or drink, but what
01:20:03: I can't do without is worship. Private worship, family worship, and corporate worship.
01:20:10: We're commanded by God to gather with his people. We certainly don't want to ignore health concerns, and we made some accommodations for health concerns, but we can't stop worshiping, and so at our local church,
01:20:31: Grace Community Church, we did not see any negative effects. In fact, the opposite was true.
01:20:37: Our church grew substantially, and so we're thankful for that. As you look outwards,
01:20:44: Chris, the broader body of Christ, I think maybe COVID helped really separate the wheat from the chaff.
01:20:55: Churches that were really churches in name only, I think they're never going to recover from COVID, but in some respects,
01:21:04: I would say good riddance. If they're not faithful biblical churches, then
01:21:09: I'm not sure that they were, well, actually, I am sure that they were not helping the cause of Christ.
01:21:17: They were not advancing the gospel by what they were doing at those places, and so the fact that they're disappearing just accelerated the decline of false churches.
01:21:29: I think churches that are committed to the gospel, committed to the
01:21:34: Bible, I think we're going to come out of COVID stronger than we went in with our convictions really cemented in the hearts of our people, and essential and non -essential activities better clarified in our minds.
01:21:53: As our governor here in Georgia said, I'm pretty sure if you're buying groceries with your paycheck, you're an essential employee, and I wholeheartedly agreed with that sentiment.
01:22:07: We can't live without worship as Christians, and that worship is in the context of the local church, and so I think biblical churches have emerged from COVID stronger than ever before.
01:22:20: Well, you know, you and I have one thing in common. Even in spite of the fact that I have had no military training,
01:22:29: I share with you the ability to refrain from eating and not have food for long periods of time.
01:22:38: I have the willpower to do so, and believe it or not, General Girard, I have gone 45 minutes without having food in my mouth.
01:22:53: I have, interviewing the number of pastors that I have, and knowing a very large number of pastors, coming from diverse theological backgrounds as well, being in the
01:23:06: Christian media going back to the 1980s, I have seen all kinds of things that have been occurred as a result of the mandates and the coronavirus itself, some wonderful and some bad.
01:23:27: The wonderful ones is that relatively small churches have actually grown in size because people were going to these churches that remained open and have joined subsequently and are still members of these churches, and they're being fed a more biblical and more theologically sound diet from the pulpits there and from the elder oversight there and the counseling there.
01:23:59: But I've also spoken with pastors that did the wrong thing, and some of those pastors, when
01:24:08: I say the wrong thing, they were too quick to close for very long periods of time.
01:24:16: They were too quick to allow people to continue with Zoom worship services or live streaming worship services long after the initial alarms were going off, scaring people.
01:24:37: People just became comfortable. Hey, I don't need to get out of bed and get to church.
01:24:43: I could just stay here in bed and watch the worship service on TV. And there have been pastors who have confided in me.
01:24:52: They recognize, you know, we were wrong. We'll never do this again. So there have been valuable lessons learned.
01:25:00: And unfortunately, the less sound churches and the less sound pastors seem to not care that close to half or more than half of their congregations are still watching their worship services via live streaming who are actually members, so -called, of those churches.
01:25:19: So, yeah, I've seen the whole thing occur. Yeah, it is lamentable.
01:25:25: And we had a healthy discussion about whether to live stream at all because of that very phenomenon.
01:25:35: We continue to live stream our services. But really, when our people are traveling, for instance,
01:25:43: I travel quite a bit on behalf of our country. But I always seek out a like -minded church where I can attend in person.
01:25:52: That's always my first desire is to be physically with God's people.
01:25:58: As I said, it's a team sport. I'm thankful for my local church. But I gave a pastor in northern
01:26:05: Virginia a compliment a couple of Sundays ago. I said, I'm going to give you the greatest compliment that I can give you.
01:26:11: I felt like I was right at home. This service, this worship sounded the same.
01:26:17: It looked the same. All the wonderful things that we appreciate about Reformed worship that we read the
01:26:25: Word, we pray the Word, we sing the Word, and we hear the Word faithfully preached.
01:26:31: Those are sort of my four criteria for a biblical worship service, Chris. If those four things are happening, it may look a little different perhaps.
01:26:41: But if there is the reading of the Word, the singing of the Word, praying the
01:26:47: Word, and the preaching of the Word, then I'm going to be at home in that worship service.
01:26:53: So we encourage our own members when they're traveling to find a church. We recommend good churches like you do, and only to use our live stream as a last resort really for people who are ill or bedridden, confined to their homes for some reason.
01:27:11: That's why we offer a live stream, not for our folks who are traveling, or so that they can have worship in their pajamas, so to speak.
01:27:22: We have Christopher in Western Suffolk County, Long Island, New York, who says,
01:27:29: How do you approach the very delicate difficulty of intruding into disagreements in the households of your married children?
01:27:41: I'm not talking about situations that would involve a life -threatening situation, such as an abusive husband who is physically doing things that are not only an offense, an abomination to God, but are illegal.
01:27:57: But I'm talking about more in the fact that you could see that there is more arguments going on and more disagreements.
01:28:05: And when you see the disagreements are over things that you yourself know are biblically incorrect, how often and when and how should we butt into these situations as in -laws?
01:28:21: Well, there's lots of books out there in the Christian world, Chris, on parenting when your children are small.
01:28:31: There are not as many good resources about the parenting of adult children, so I appreciate this question very much.
01:28:39: At the outset, I would say my father was a country lawyer, is what he would have called himself.
01:28:46: And he had a proverb that he was fond of issuing. And he would say, son, remember that even solicited advice is merely tolerated.
01:29:00: I think of that often when I'm dispensing counsel. But in the case of our married children, one of the rules that my wife and I have,
01:29:13: Chris, is that typically as our children get older, we say less and pray more.
01:29:23: This will be a good segue into my assertion that parenting and marriage is a team sport.
01:29:30: The best thing that I can do for my adult children, my children who are married, is to encourage them to join a biblical church and then be committed there.
01:29:44: Because there are things that they can hear in that context, Chris, from their peers or from older women, older men.
01:29:52: It's going to be received better, I think, than from their parents in this respect. And I think all your listeners know that's true.
01:30:02: It's amazing to me how sometimes my children have not responded well to counsel that I've given them.
01:30:09: But if another adult in the church offers the same counsel, they respond very positively.
01:30:17: And so that's part of the help that the body of Christ gives us. So I am very hesitant to wade into the marital affairs of our older married children.
01:30:32: I will certainly give counsel when asked, but I would be very hesitant to give unsolicited counsel.
01:30:40: What we can do is encourage them in every way to be committed to a good local church where we know that they're going to receive that counsel from people who love them and care about them.
01:30:54: And I think it will be better received in that context, Chris. Amen. And let's see here.
01:31:03: We have Ronald in Eastern Suffolk County, Long Island.
01:31:10: Just had one from Western, now one from Eastern. Ronald says, I know that you are being involved in a speaking engagement in Georgia, but I was wondering how often you travel to parts of the
01:31:25: United States like Long Island, New York, where the citizens here may be of benefit to your speaking engagements.
01:31:36: Well, I have a daughter that lives in New York now, Chris. Really? The city, yes.
01:31:42: She married a young army lieutenant, and they are in the frozen wastelands of Fort Drum.
01:31:53: My poor Georgia girl, they've had, what, 10 feet of snow since Thanksgiving.
01:31:59: Wow. My darling daughter, Rachel, is married to a godly young man,
01:32:05: Ethan Stanley. And so I'm just so very pleased at their marriage. He handled all of that so very well.
01:32:14: But there at Fort Drum, and for your listeners there in New York, I would certainly be willing to travel to New York.
01:32:22: I'm always happy to talk about the gospel and bring the Bible to bear on all sorts of the issues of life.
01:32:33: I'm thankful that there are good churches in the midst of New York, where the light can shine into the darkness there.
01:32:42: My daughter and her husband found a good church there close by at Fort Drum, and they have enjoyed being part of the ministries there.
01:32:51: So I'm thankful that there are good churches all over our country. Praise God.
01:32:58: We're going to our final break right now. It's going to be more brief than the other breaks.
01:33:04: So if you have a question, we would ask that you try to get it to us as soon as possible, because we are rapidly running out of time, especially after the ad break is concluded.
01:33:15: So send us your emails to chrisarnson at gmail .com. chrisarnson at gmail .com.
01:33:20: Give us your first name at least, your city and state, and your country of residence if you live outside the
01:33:25: USA. Don't go away. We'll be right back, right after these messages. James White of Alpha Omega Ministries here.
01:33:46: I'm very excited to announce that my longtime friend Chris Arnson of Iron Sharpens Iron Radio and I are heading down to Atlanta, Georgia again for the
01:33:54: G3 National Conference. That's Thursday, September 21st through Saturday the 23rd.
01:34:00: On a theme that I've been preaching, teaching, writing about, and defending in live public debates for most of my life, the sovereignty of God.
01:34:07: I'll be joined on the speaking roster by Steve Lawson, Voti Baucom, Paul Washer, Virgil Walker, Scott Anuel, and Josh Bice, founder of G3 Ministries.
01:34:20: And there's more great news. Chris Arnson of Iron Sharpens Iron Radio can get you a 30 % discount off the registration fee.
01:34:28: Go to g3min .org. That's g3min .org. And enter promo code
01:34:33: G3ISIR. That's G3ISIR for the 30 % discount.
01:34:41: Chris Arnson and I look forward to seeing you all Thursday, September 21st through Saturday the 23rd at the
01:34:47: G3 National Conference in Atlanta, Georgia on the sovereignty of God. Make sure you stop by the
01:34:52: Iron Sharpens Iron Radio Exhibitor booth and say hi to Chris Arnson while you're there.
01:34:58: Go to g3min .org and enter promo code G3ISIR for your 30 % discount off the registration fee.
01:35:21: The Prince of Preachers, Charles Haddon Spurgeon, once said, growing a beard is a habit most natural, scriptural, manly, and beneficial.
01:35:28: Grace and peace to all the Iron Sharpens Iron listeners. This is Tony with thestandardbeardcare .com.
01:35:35: That's right, thestandardbeardcare .com is a Christ -exalting, better -known, and simple name in beard care.
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01:35:48: Check out the vast array of all -natural, hand -crafted products to make that beard scriptural, manly, and beneficial.
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01:36:11: So head over to thestandardbeardcare .com, where the standard is the standard.
01:36:21: Puritan Reformed is a Bible -believing, kingdom -building, devil -fighting church. We are devoted to upholding the apostolic doctrine and practice preserved in Scripture alone.
01:36:32: Puritan Reformed teaches men to rule and lead as image -bearing prophets, priests, and kings.
01:36:39: We teach families to worship together as families. Puritan is committed to teaching the whole counsel of God, so that the earth will be filled with the knowledge of God as the waters cover the sea.
01:36:52: We sing the Psalms, teach the law, proclaim the gospel, make disciples, maintain discipline, and exalt
01:36:58: Christ. This is Pastor David Reis of Puritan Reformed in Phoenix, Arizona.
01:37:04: Join us in the glorious cause of advancing Christ's crown and covenant over the kings of the earth.
01:37:12: Puritan Reformed Church. Believe. Build. Fight. PuritanPHX .com
01:37:27: Dr. Joseph Piper, President Emeritus and Professor of Systematic and Applied Theology at Greenville Presbyterian Theological Seminary.
01:37:37: Every Christian who's serious about the Reformed faith and the Westminster Standards should have and use the eight -volume commentary on the theology and ethics of the
01:37:47: Westminster Larger Catechism, titled Authentic Christianity by Dr. Joseph Morecraft.
01:37:54: It is much more than an exposition of the Larger Catechism. It is a thoroughly researched work that utilizes biblical exegesis as well as historical and systematic theology.
01:38:05: Dr. Morecraft is pastor of Heritage Presbyterian Church of Cumming, Georgia, and I urge everyone looking for a biblically faithful church in that area to visit that fine congregation.
01:38:16: For details on the eight -volume commentary, go to westminstercommentary .com, westminstercommentary .com.
01:38:24: For details on Heritage Presbyterian Church of Cumming, Georgia, visit heritagepresbyterianchurch .com,
01:38:32: heritagepresbyterianchurch .com. Please tell Dr. Morecraft and the saints at Heritage Presbyterian Church of Cumming, Georgia that Dr.
01:38:41: Joseph Piper of Greenville Presbyterian Theological Seminary sends you. If you love
01:38:58: Iron Sharpens Iron Radio, one of the best ways you can help keep the show on the air is by supporting our advertisers.
01:39:06: One such faithful advertiser who really believes in what Chris Arnton is doing is
01:39:12: Daniel P. Patafuco, serious injury lawyer and Christian apologist.
01:39:18: Dan is the president and founder of the Historical Bible Society. Their mission?
01:39:24: To foster belief in the credibility of Scripture as the written Word of God. They go to various churches, schools, and institutions to publicly display a rare collection of biblical texts, along with a fascinating presentation by Mr.
01:39:39: Patafuco demonstrating the reliability of Scripture. To advance the cause of the
01:39:45: Gospel, they created a beautiful, perfect facsimile of the genealogy of Jesus Christ from the original engravings contained in a first edition 1611
01:39:56: King James Bible. This 17th century hand -engraved chart shows the family tree of Jesus Christ going back to Adam and Eve.
01:40:07: This book is complete with gorgeous full -size illustrations of Noah's Ark and the
01:40:12: Tower of Babel, and an explanation of why the genealogy of Jesus is so important for his claims to the throne of the universe.
01:40:21: Originals of this work are in museums and nobody has ever made it accessible to the public in a large book form before.
01:40:29: You can have your own copy of this 44 -page genealogy book for a donation of $35 or more.
01:40:37: Visit historicalbiblesociety .org. That's historicalbiblesociety .org.
01:40:45: Thanks for helping to keep Iron Sharpen's Iron Radio on the air. Getting a driver's license, running a cash register, flipping burgers, passing 6th grade.
01:41:00: Do you know what they all have in common? They all require training, assessments, and certifications.
01:41:06: But do you know what requires no training at all? Becoming a parent. My name is
01:41:12: A .M. Brewster. I'm the president of Truth, Love, Parent and host of its award -winning podcast. I've been a biblical family counselor since the early 2000s, and what
01:41:21: I've discovered is that the majority of Christian parents have never been biblically equipped to do the work of the ministry in their homes.
01:41:27: That's why Truth, Love, Parent exists. We serve God by equipping dads and moms to be the ambassador parents
01:41:34: God called and created them to be. We produce free parenting resources, train church leaders, and offer biblical counseling so that the next generation of dads and moms can use the scriptures to parent their children for life and godliness.
01:41:46: Please visit us at truthloveparent .com. This is
01:42:02: Pastor Bill Sousa, Grace Church at Franklin, here in the beautiful state of Tennessee.
01:42:07: Our congregation is one of a growing number of churches who love and support
01:42:12: Iron Sharpens Iron Radio financially. Grace Church at Franklin is an independent, autonomous body of believers that strives to clearly declare the whole counsel of God as revealed in scripture through the person and work of our
01:42:29: Lord Jesus Christ. And, of course, the end for which we strive is the glory of God.
01:42:36: If you live near Franklin, Tennessee, and Franklin is just south of Nashville, maybe 10 minutes, or you are visiting this area, or you have friends and loved ones nearby, we hope you will join us some
01:42:49: Lord's Day in worshiping our God and Savior. Please feel free to contact me if you have more questions about Grace Church at Franklin.
01:42:58: Our website is gracechurchatfranklin .org. That's gracechurchatfranklin .org.
01:43:06: This is Pastor Bill Sousa wishing you all the richest blessings of our
01:43:12: Sovereign Lord, God, Savior, and King, Jesus Christ, today and always.
01:43:28: James White of Alpha Omega Ministries here. If you've watched my Dividing Line webcast often enough, you know
01:43:33: I have a great love for getting Bibles and other documents vital to my ministry rebound to preserve and ensure their longevity.
01:43:40: And besides that, they feel so good. I'm so delighted I discovered Post -Tenebrous Lux Bible rebinding.
01:43:47: No radio ad will be long enough to sing their praises sufficiently, but I'll give it a shot. Jeffrey Rice of Post -Tenebrous
01:43:54: Lux is a remarkably gifted craftsman and artisan. All his work is done by hand from the cutting to the pleating of corners to the perimeter stitching.
01:44:02: Jeffrey uses the finest and buttery soft imported leathers in a wide variety of gorgeous colors, like the turquoise goatskin tanned in Italy used for my
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01:44:19: French tannery used to rebind a Reformation Study Bible I used as a gift. The silver gilding he added on the page edges has a stunning mirror finish resembling highly polished chrome.
01:44:29: Jeffrey will customize your rebinding to your specifications and even emboss your logo into the leather, making whatever he rebinds a one -of -a -kind work of art.
01:44:40: For more details on Post -Tenebrous Lux Bible rebinding, go to PTLBibleRebinding .com.
01:44:48: That's PTLBibleRebinding .com. Getting a driver's license, running a cash register, flipping burgers, passing 6th grade.
01:45:07: Do you know what they all have in common? They all require training, assessments, and certifications. But do you know what requires no training at all?
01:45:16: Becoming a parent. My name is A .M. Brewster. I'm the president of Truth Love Parent and host of its award -winning podcast.
01:45:24: I've been a biblical family counselor since the early 2000s. And what I've discovered is that the majority of Christian parents have never been biblically equipped to do the work of the ministry in their homes.
01:45:34: That's why Truth Love Parent exists. We serve God by equipping dads and moms to be the ambassador parents
01:45:40: God called and created them to be. We produce free parenting resources, train church leaders, and offer biblical counseling so that the next generation of dads and moms can use the scriptures to parent their children for life and godliness.
01:45:52: Please visit us at TruthLoveParent .com. Hi, this is
01:46:01: John Sampson, pastor of King's Church in Peoria, Arizona. Taking a moment of your day to talk about Chris Arnson and the
01:46:08: Iron Sharpens Iron podcast. I consider Chris a true friend and a man of high integrity. He's a skilled interviewer who's not afraid to ask the big penetrating questions while always defending the key doctrines of the
01:46:20: Christian faith. I've always been happy to point people to this podcast, knowing it's one of the very few safe places on the internet where folk won't be led astray.
01:46:29: I believe this podcast needs to be heard far and wide. This is a day of great spiritual compromise, and yet God has raised
01:46:36: Chris up for just such a time. Knowing this, it's up to us as members of the body of Christ to stand with such a ministry in prayer and in finances.
01:46:46: I'm pleased to do so, and would like to ask you to prayerfully consider joining me in supporting
01:46:51: Iron Sharpens Iron financially. Would you consider sending either a one -time gift or even becoming a regular monthly partner with this ministry?
01:46:59: I know it would be a huge encouragement to Chris if you would. All the details can be found at ironsharpensironradio .com
01:47:06: where you can click support. That's ironsharpensironradio .com I'm Dr.
01:47:21: Tony Costa, professor of apologetics and Islam at Toronto Baptist Seminary. I'm thrilled to introduce to you a church where I've been invited to speak and have grown to love,
01:47:32: Hope Reform Baptist Church in Corham, Long Island, New York, pastored by Rich Jensen and Christopher McDowell.
01:47:39: It's such a joy to witness and experience fellowship with people of God like the dear saints at Hope Reform Baptist Church in Corham, who have an intensely passionate desire to continue digging deeper and deeper into the unfathomable riches of Christ in His Holy Word, and to enthusiastically proclaim
01:47:56: Christ Jesus the King and His doctrines of sovereign grace in Suffolk County, Long Island, and beyond.
01:48:03: I hope you also have the privilege of discovering this precious congregation and receive the blessing of being showered by their love as I have.
01:48:12: For more information on Hope Reform Baptist Church, go to hopereformedli .net.
01:48:19: That's hopereformedli .net or call 631 -696 -5711.
01:48:28: That's 631 -696 -5711. Tell the folks at Hope Reform Baptist Church of Corham, Long Island, New York that you heard about them from Tony Costa on Iron Sharpens Iron.
01:48:46: Welcome back. We have Joseph in South Central Pennsylvania who has a question for you,
01:48:55: Brigadier General Gerard. He asks, I have heard some pastors say that the greatest allegiance for husbands, under God Himself of course, is their spouses even above the children.
01:49:16: They are obviously supposed to sacrificially love their children and give up their very lives for their children if necessary.
01:49:26: But is the greater allegiance still supposed to be for the wife and for the wife the husband?
01:49:35: Certainly, Chris. I think that's the intended prioritization of relationships.
01:49:43: You think a person's relationship with God obviously is primary.
01:49:49: The relationship with their spouse would be the next in order of priority. And then the children in a tertiary sort of model.
01:50:03: Now, I think sometimes we look at that and we think, well, that means that our wives are more important than our children.
01:50:12: While that does have different priorities, I think we need to be careful in our language and try to cling to scripture.
01:50:22: But I have often said to counselees, the best thing that you can do to a husband, the best thing that you can do for your children is to love their mother.
01:50:34: And to wives, the best thing that you can do for your children is to love their father. And I think when we get those prioritization of relationships out of balance or out of structure,
01:50:48: Chris, there is the opportunity for much mischief. In the case of my sons, I think perhaps maybe it's just in the
01:50:55: Gerard house, but maybe that has broader applicability. There's been a come a time in the lives of my sons where I heard them speak to their mother in a particular tone of voice and I just sort of quietly reminded them, son, no man on earth is able or allowed to speak to my wife in that tone of voice.
01:51:19: And what I'm reminding him in that is that I didn't say his mother, I said my wife.
01:51:26: So it helps them understand, our children understand, the prioritization of relationships.
01:51:32: She was my wife before she was your mother. And so I think that's helpful to think of our homes in that respect,
01:51:42: Chris, that our primary, best thing I can do for my wife is to love Christ and to cling to Him and to look to Him.
01:51:50: I often use the triangle -shaped drawing. I'm talking about husbands and wives with God at the top and the apex and husbands and wives.
01:52:00: And I tell them the closer that you are individually to God, the closer you are to one another spatially.
01:52:08: That sort of spatial representation is a helpful model to use. And I think in the case of the children, it applies to them as well.
01:52:17: The best thing that I can do for my children is to love their mother, my wife, and the same for my wife.
01:52:23: So a good question, but one to which there is a clear biblical answer, Chris. Now, on those occasions where you had to rebuke your sons for the poor way they were speaking to your wife, their mother, how did they respond after they regained consciousness?
01:52:48: Yes, sometimes in the Gerard House we engage very passionately with one another.
01:52:59: But they got the message, Chris, thankfully. It did not require any loss of consciousness on their part.
01:53:08: It did require some interesting and creative parenting on my part.
01:53:19: We have B .B. in Cumberland County, Pennsylvania, who wants to know, should anyone ever discipline, and when
01:53:29: I say discipline, I'm speaking of a verbal rebuke, the children of other parents, children that may not even be in your own family.
01:53:40: If they are in your presence and they are misbehaving, let's say they are speaking during a worship service or doing something else that they shouldn't be doing.
01:53:53: Yes is the short answer, Chris. There are appropriate times for us to do that. That's part of my, when
01:54:00: I say that parenting is a team sport, when I'm at church with my children, I expect other godly parents will help me parent my children.
01:54:09: That usually involves, I think in the best sort of scenario, it would involve another parent who saw one of my children acting inappropriately.
01:54:18: They made an on -the -spot correction, and then they came to tell me, to explain it to me. I hear it from that other parent.
01:54:25: And I think if you have the sorts of relationships at church that allow people that freedom, to feel like that they have not just the freedom, but the responsibility to do that.
01:54:40: There are times when that can go poorly, and there has to be some discussion about what's appropriate and inappropriate.
01:54:50: But generally speaking, I look at the body of Christ as my co -parents.
01:54:55: They help me in raising my children. That's happened many times as we were raising our children in the context of church.
01:55:03: And I generally encourage those other parents, please, if you see my children acting inappropriately,
01:55:09: I need your help, and please come tell me. Or if I'm not available, you can take care of it yourself.
01:55:17: And that's really the way it's been handled. A parent would come to me in some cases and say, hey, this is happening, allow me to take care of it.
01:55:24: But when I'm unavailable or if the situation warrants, I welcome the help from other
01:55:30: Christian parents, Chris. Good question. Yeah, and it might even be more vividly obvious if the scenario were, for instance, a
01:55:39: Christian who is either a store or shop owner or even an employee, and he sees one of the kids from church coming in there, stuffing his pants or his jacket with items that he intends to steal.
01:55:55: Obviously, a Christian is not to just sit idly by and remain silent and not say anything to the child.
01:56:04: We have not just the freedom. I think we do have a duty. We have to exercise that duty with great wisdom.
01:56:11: But I think, yes, that's part of what I mean when I say that parenting is a team sport.
01:56:16: We need the body of Christ. I need my children to have many fathers and many mothers and many older sisters and older brothers.
01:56:25: That's the language that Paul uses when writing to Timothy about the relationships in the church.
01:56:31: He uses familial language. And so I hope that my children would say they have many fathers and many mothers and many older siblings in the body of Christ.
01:56:43: Well, Brigadier General Kevin Girard, it has been a pleasure, as I knew it would be.
01:56:48: I look forward to your return to the program for more interviews. And once again,
01:56:54: I congratulate you on your promotion from colonel to brigadier general, and I will be praying for you that the
01:57:02: Lord continues to use you mightily in not only your service in the
01:57:08: United States Marine Corps, but in your family, in your congregation, and in your community.
01:57:13: And I want to remind our listeners that if you want to find out more about Grace Community Church of Dawsonville, Georgia, where Brigadier General Kevin Girard serves on the
01:57:25: Elder Board, you can go to gracechurchdawsonville .org,
01:57:32: gracechurchdawsonville .org. And I also want to remind you about the book by General Girard's fellow elder and pastor,
01:57:49: Ray Rhodes, the book, Suzy, The Life and Legacy of Susanna Spurgeon, wife of Charles H.
01:57:55: Spurgeon. You can get that from Moody Publishers, but I would actually prefer that you order it from our sponsors, cvbbs .com,
01:58:05: Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service, cvbbs .com. Just tell them that you want to purchase the book,
01:58:12: Suzy, The Life and Legacy of Susanna Spurgeon by Ray Rhodes, published by Moody Publishers, and tell them that you heard about it from Chris Arnsen on Iron Sharpens Iron Radio.
01:58:25: And also, keep an eye and ear open for Ray's new biography coming out sometime this year,
01:58:33: God willing, on Charles Spurgeon himself. Last but not least, don't forget about the
01:58:38: Faith and Medicine Conference being held at Grace Fellowship of South Forsyth, Georgia, which is actually in Cumming, Georgia, and that's being run by Dr.
01:58:51: Rhett Bergeron, who was my guest recently. In fact, I urge everybody to go to the archive of ironsharpensironradio .com
01:58:58: and type in the name Bergeron, B -E -R -G -E -R -O -N, or type in Rhett, R -H -E -T -T, and that interview link will come up.
01:59:11: But if you want to attend this conference that is held the 3rd and 4th of February, which is this
01:59:20: Friday and Saturday, and also the events where Brigadier General Gerard will be speaking that's associated with these events, go to faithinmedicine .org,
01:59:31: faithinmedicine .org. I want to thank you again, Brigadier General Gerard, for being a superb guest.
01:59:38: I want to thank everybody who listened. I want you all to always remember for the rest of your lives that Jesus Christ is a far greater