5. What is Nouthetic Counseling Pt. 2

Reformed Rookie

Subscribe

Download

Share

00

2. Into to The Armor of God Eph 6:1-20

00:08

Okay, this is our fifth session in this series on Biblical counseling and we're following up on last week's

00:18

With the topic of what is Euthetic counseling and you can see a little continued below that because that's we're actually picking up.

00:26

This would be part two of that So just to review a little bit What we've studied so far the first session was just an introduction to biblical counseling

00:37

What's the difference between biblical counseling and and secular or humanistic counseling?

00:43

and then we laid the Foundation for why biblical counseling by looking at there's a crisis in counseling.

00:52

We spent pretty much a whole session just Determining or looking at the situation as what has happened in and especially within the church

01:02

Where the church has pretty much given up the idea of counseling So many evangelical churches just refer people out to psychologists and psychiatrists without ever even getting involved with biblical counseling and the third session

01:19

Was the role of the Holy Spirit in counseling? When you look at this, it may seem like isn't that out of out of order?

01:28

Wouldn't you expect that to be a little bit later on? But I put it as number three because without the

01:35

Holy Spirit in counseling Biblical counseling is about as useless as as secular counseling if the

01:43

Holy Spirit is not doing his work So that's why we put that in because it's again. It's part of the foundation for biblical counseling it

01:52

When I have people come in and looking for for biblical counsel I explained to them that the reason that they can have hope is because as believers

02:02

We have the Holy Spirit who ministers the word Effectively in our lives.

02:08

We can't do it in in and of ourselves. So that's why Biblical counseling is so important then last week.

02:15

We started to ask and ask and answer the question what is new static counseling and We'll review just a couple of things remember new new thetaeo or new thesis

02:30

Is the biblical word that's used that's the Greek word and Literally, it means to confront

02:37

But sometimes it's translated in different ways and this is what we went over last week. Sometimes you'll see it admonish

02:45

Or if you see the word teach it can be one of two words either the Dascom which means strictly teaching or to teach in a in a counseling sense and Then three you might see it

02:57

Translated sometimes as to warn to be warned is to be admonished or to to be taught something and then we also saw last week that there's three elements to new static confrontation and First element is that it always implies a problem biblical counseling is what

03:22

I I I Hesitate even using the word counseling. I use it because it's descriptive.

03:29

It's what most people are looking at but Biblical counseling is really crisis discipleship

03:36

That's what it really is and it always implies a problem It's as opposed to just sitting under and teaching somebody and learning the word that would be the desk.

03:46

Oh, you know didactic in nature New static confrontation always implies that there's an issue in a person's life

03:54

That is causing a problem and needs to change So new static confrontation always implies that there is a problem some issue that needs to be addressed

04:06

The second element in new static confrontation is they're solved by verbal means

04:12

Just getting a book and trying to read through it. It's not really the answer a Person needs to be confronted.

04:19

That's exactly what the word means that admonish Or the new thesis means to be confronted with the

04:29

Word of God through the power of the Holy Spirit and The third element is that it's always for the benefit of the sinner

04:37

Okay. Now there are other benefits also obviously if a church member is

04:45

Undergoing certain issues in life that are a hindrance to their sanctification

04:51

That also would affect the church. So in that sense it affects the church as well But the primary benefit goes to the person who is in trouble so Now we'll continue on new static confrontation and scripture.

05:07

We looked at this last week as well How does new static confrontation work and why does it work 2nd

05:16

Timothy 3 16 and 17 is crucial to understand because it really explains in very simple terms how

05:26

Biblical confrontation works all scriptures inspired by God and profitable for teaching for reproof for correction for training and righteousness that the man of God may be adequate or perfectly equipped for every good work and In those two verses you find four steps.

05:48

This is how to help people change. In fact I've told you that this whole series is based upon two books written by Jay Adams First one is competent to counsel second one is a theology of Christian counseling

06:03

But he wrote another book a shorter book and it's called how to help people change That whole book is based upon 2nd

06:10

Timothy 3 16 and 17 These are the basic four steps Doctrine or teaching the

06:19

Word of God is profitable for teaching That is to lay down. What is what is right?

06:24

What is wrong? That's the standard You have to have some sort of standard by which to be measured and that's including your sanctification reproof or conviction if a person is is involved in sin

06:40

You teach them that what they are doing is wrong and then the conviction takes over that's the where the confrontation takes place and And the heart is convicted of sin

06:52

Step number three is what's necessary for any true change to take place. It needs to be corrected.

06:59

All right, I always like to Use An analogy on this of handwriting you ever heard expression practice makes perfect You believe that no, why not?

07:17

Okay Sometimes have you ever seen me write my name?

07:25

I've been writing my name for oh almost 50 something. Well, what am I saying? About 70 some odd years now.

07:38

I Was a slow starter It's worse now than when

07:46

I was in the first grade my signature practice With correction makes perfect if you don't make strides to correct

07:58

What you're doing same thing. I Everybody knows I'm a I'm a Met fan. I love baseball.

08:04

That's that's my sport and You talk to a batter just just constantly taking batting practice

08:10

It's not going to make you a better hitter unless you're making the correction Of the things that you're doing wrong if you have a hitch in your swing or something if you don't correct it

08:20

You can hit that ball all day long. You're not going to get any better so the same thing with with sanctification there needs to be not only an

08:29

Understanding of what you're doing wrong, but the correction. How do you change it? And then the last step is just the ongoing instruction

08:38

Continued training in righteousness. Does that make sense? Does everybody understand those four steps? And again,

08:45

I'm not a big fan of having steps, but these steps come right from Scripture So I that's why

08:51

I would use them Also, third thing is nuthetic confrontation is scriptural confrontation

08:59

It's not you know, don't point your finger and somebody put you. Yeah, you're doing this right? No it's confronting with the scripture and And as we have seen and see we'll see a little bit later even today.

09:11

It's confronting in love Love is always at the heart of it It's confrontation with the principles and practices of Scripture that's one of the biggest differences between secular and Biblical counseling is we have a standard an inspired standard one of absolute right and wrong

09:36

Contrary to secular psychology Psychological therapy the

09:41

Christian counselor is intensely involved with the person being counseled in in psychology

09:50

Psychologist or a counselor is trained not to get involved with the patient, you know, there needs to be a

09:58

Separation a gap that's where the in fact Freud You know having a person laid down on the couch making a big divide between him sitting up at his desk

10:10

You know and then the person laying down Big divide it's not that way a biblical counselor should be involved with the patient to go into counselee because we're brothers and sisters in Christ and there is a there is a personal aspect to it

10:32

Okay, does that make sense and we see that especially in the example of the

10:38

Apostle Paul He admonished the elders that Ephesus he admonished them with tears another point of Difference between this and secular counseling is a biblical counselor cannot be neutral in counseling if you if you've ever

11:01

Rogerian Theory which will actually next week. We're going to not next week next week is a

11:07

Semi -annual meeting but the week after that we're going to be looking at directive versus non -directive counseling

11:14

Rogerian Psychology is very non -directive You you will never have a

11:21

Rogerian psychologist say, you know, that was wrong before you did that They'd say how did you feel when you did that?

11:29

You know? How do you feel now about it, you know, and there's always a Disconnect they try to be as neutral as Bob.

11:37

They don't make judgments Whereas in biblical counseling you make judgments you realize it was wrong when you shot that guy

11:49

We have no trouble doing it and saying those those type of things not in the judgmental way, but by confrontation with Scripture Yes Yes.

12:05

Yeah, you What did what did David do when he heard the stories is who is that man?

12:11

I'm you know when when I get that man, I get my hands on and bring them here to me And what does Nathan say? You're the man

12:17

That's you Perfect example of biblical confrontation Next aspect of biblical counseling is love in counseling

12:30

The goal of biblical counseling is love Love is always for the benefit of the other person true biblical love.

12:42

I just felt like doing that No particular reason other than I thought it was in fact, let me let me back up again

12:51

Yeah, watch watch it My cool

13:02

Okay First Timothy 1 5 but the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart a

13:14

Good conscience and a sincere faith Notice there is change. That's what's going on here

13:21

Biblical counseling is counseling for change and make no mistake about that and it's a change in the person

13:29

True personality change that's we are remember what the scriptures teaches as Believers and when we come to faith in Christ What does the scripture say about us?

13:41

We are new creations in Christ we are being conformed to the image of Christ and so we are looking to change the actual person of Who is a new believer in faith?

13:55

The purpose of preaching and counseling is to foster love toward God and love towards one's neighbor

14:02

Isn't that the goal of all? Isn't that the goal of? Sanctification that we love

14:07

God with all our heart soul mind and strength and what's the second great commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves and You'll notice as we go through this.

14:19

There's a thought it's authoritative and it's also loving and those are not mutually exclusive So, how does the

14:31

Holy Spirit produce love? It's God's authoritative instruction Don't ever shy back from saying, you know when you hold when you're speaking about the scriptures

14:43

That is that you can say thus sayeth the Lord too many Pastors get in the pulpit and they come up with their own ideas and they say and God said no

14:53

The only time we can say God says is when we're quoting scripture not Something that we might think so it's

15:01

God's authoritative instruction Through the ministry of the word. That's how that's where we get our authority from We're going to confront the person who's in sin the person who is struggling

15:12

Confront them with the Word of God Verbally communicated That's why you'll see one of the qualifications of biblical counseling is

15:23

Person must be able to communicate on a verbal or an oral level both publicly and privately

15:32

Publicly would be the preaching of the word. By the way, if Biblical counseling is just the flip side the tail side of the biblical counseling coin

15:45

Preaching from the pulpit is new fetid confrontation publicly Counseling is new fetid

15:52

Confrontation privately and they should match that's why when when

15:57

I have Occasion to counsel somebody who's referred to me from outside the church

16:04

If they're serious about being counseled, I ask them that they need to come to church

16:11

While there can being counseled by me because I want them hearing the same thing from the pulpit that they are from the counseling room that only makes sense and Love toward God is the fulfillment of his commandments and we know that Because the word says so John 14 15 if you love me you will keep my commandments love is a relationship conditioned upon responsibility

16:44

I'm not going to expand on that too much But because we're going to be in first John it's interesting how this is just dovetailed

16:53

In first John for the rest of the fourth chapter of the book of first John, it's all about love and so we're going to be

17:04

Talking about that Sunday and for several Sundays after that even so love is a relationship conditioned upon Responsibility remember biblical love is not primarily a feeling or an emotion

17:16

It does follow All right, Paul says he confronted them with tears so there is that emotional side to it

17:24

But it's based upon responsibility Paul felt responsible to to the elders at Ephesus and Even warning them admonishing them that savage wolves were going to come and cautioning them

17:38

That was that's a perfect example of biblical euthetic confrontation Holy Spirit empowered preaching and counseling that proclaims the principles and commandments of God God's Word Enables people to and there's a few things that it enables people to do

17:58

Become pure in heart. We saw that right from first Timothy 5 1 1 5

18:03

To become pure in heart. That's one of the goals. Where do we see that? How can I say that so?

18:10

blatantly so authoritatively Go ahead Yeah, it's in there

18:17

It's in the Beatitudes and what we know about the Beatitudes is that's not something that we are to strive for That is the characteristics of the true believer

18:26

At least in seed form and you can grow in purity in heart, but blessed are the pure in heart

18:34

Can have peace in their conscience. The only way you can have peace in your conscience is when you

18:39

Follow the steps of forgiveness repentance, etc, which we'll get to later on To trust

18:48

God sincerely That's one of the most important things is teaching people one of the biggest problems that we have in counseling is people come in and they

18:56

Don't really trust God See, oh, yeah, but but why did God do this? Well because he knows better than you

19:02

That's a simple answer one of the main goals of Biblical counseling is to bring man into loving conformity to the law of God now again, you'll hear

19:22

Unfortunately, you hear some very poor preaching out there saying Oh Grace of God law of God two different things, you know, they're in contradiction to one another

19:31

We're in a dispensation of grace, you know, the law is passed No No If you know we are told

19:42

We are by the grace of God. We are enabled to keep the law of God not for salvation

19:48

But to teach us what is the goal of being conformed to the image of Christ?

19:54

That's what the law of God does the law of God brings us to the place to where we realize that We are unable to do that on our own.

20:03

And so we need the grace of God To bring us so that we can love to do and strive to obey the commandments of God.

20:13

Does everybody understand that? You Don't there's there's the two errors.

20:19

There's that libertarianism where? the law of God doesn't apply to us at all or you have the

20:30

Restrictive type who says, you know tries to impose the law of God for salvation both sides are errors authority in counseling

20:47

Biblical counseling uses authoritative instruction. It must be authoritative.

20:52

You don't some tell somebody You know, what does the doctor do when when you're sick and he knows the cure.

20:59

Well, if you take this pill You'll be you'll be healed. You don't have to take it if you don't want to that makes no sense

21:10

If you're if you're counseling with somebody and they are in clear violation of the

21:15

Word of God You have to say look this is what the Word of God says you are violating that that's the problem that you're having

21:21

You have to repent of what you've done You know ask for forgiveness and then start to practice righteousness

21:29

So and that's authoritative authoritative instruction uses directive techniques

21:38

Opposed to a Jerry and non directive techniques and like I say next week not next week two weeks

21:44

We will go go through that I'll show you a chart Shows the difference between whatever

21:49

Jerry and psychologists would say and what a biblical counselor would say under certain circumstances

21:57

Authoritative instruction Presupposes that there is a right and wrong way to deal with the problem it amazes me to think of how much of secular psychology goes in and And we'll tell you well, there is no right or wrong in your problem

22:15

You know, I'm not gonna tell you it's wrong to stick up a bank The consequences might be severe, but you know,

22:23

I'm not gonna tell you that it's wrong to do that Freudian psychology says The way to the way to get rid of the guilt feelings you have is to change your boundaries

22:35

So, oh, it's not wrong to kill somebody if you if they really make you mad Now again, that's an exaggeration, but you get the point and here's an important point

22:48

The source of all mankind's problems began in the Garden of Eden Sin entered into the world through them and hence even our physical ailments are in that sense result of sin

23:01

But I'm not here. I'm not talking about original sin in particular talking about how

23:08

Adam dealt with his first sin and Nothing has changed in how many years?

23:16

What happened ever since the fall of Adam man has emulated his response to sin

23:22

What happened Adam disobeyed God don't eat of the tree Adam ate of the tree Adams conscience was awakened.

23:31

He knew he he knew he was naked. And so what did he do? He became afraid and he tried to cover his sin.

23:41

He fled and he hid God confronted him authoritatively

23:49

And what does Adam do? He resorted to excuses and blame -shifting.

23:56

Does that sound familiar? Is it now what we all do? When we do something wrong

24:03

We sin We know we're sin because we have the conscience. We become afraid we tried to cover it, you know

24:12

Little kids I'm amazed now with how many

24:18

I've got Seven kids 19 grandkids and five great -grand they all follow the same mold and I was amazed at my kids when they were toddlers before before we even taught them that it was right or wrong when they'd steal

24:36

Candy from the candy dish, where would we find them behind the couch eating it? Didn't have to tell him that it was wrong.

24:43

They knew it was wrong Right. I see some smiles Did you do that Cassie?

24:53

Okay So to reverse the natural response the counselor stresses

25:02

Turning to God instead of running in hiding and there's four biblical responses.

25:09

How do you how should we respond to sin? Firstly assume responsibility Devil didn't make me do it.

25:17

I did it read Psalm 51 an example of how to do this

25:24

At mission of guilt Yes, I did it confession of sin and then the seeking of forgiveness and that's just laying the

25:34

Groundwork for what's going to come later on as we go actually go through how to counsel somebody.

25:43

I put this in qualifications for counseling biblically and I put this in specifically because remember what

25:50

I said all Christians should be qualified to counsel but If you're looking to do it a little bit more seriously, maybe even under the auspices of of the church

26:06

I Just figured it would be helpful to see what qualifications are necessary Paul gives two qualities in Romans 15 14 and then he gives another one in Colossians 3 16 and Concerning you my brother and I myself also.

26:26

I'm convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness Filled with all knowledge and also able to admonish one another

26:33

Admonish, there's that word nutheteo okay, but notice goodness and knowledge and Then Colossians 3 16 let the

26:44

Word of Christ richly dwell within you with all wisdom Teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns spiritual songs

26:54

Singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God So we see three specific

27:01

Characteristics knowledge. You have to know the word If you don't know the Word of God, you have no business counseling because that's your authority

27:10

Goodness, and I'll get into what I'll define these in just a minute goodness and wisdom knowledge knowing what the scripture says and What it means?

27:23

So that means there has to be a certain amount of study That's why I say all mature Christians should be competent to counsel because mature

27:31

Christians should be able to interpret the Word of God goodness outside of the normal usage of the word being empathetic to the issues of life that affect people as enthusiastic for the life in Christ looking for The best and the other person and trying to bring that person into into conformity with the

27:55

Word of God Wisdom well, what's the definition of wisdom?

28:07

That's very good And the ability to handle life with skill that's the one that we've used in the past here

28:18

Jay Adams uses different ones, which I kind of like so I put his in The practical application of knowledge

28:26

Behavior consistent with biblical morality and Wisdom is the skillful use of divine truth for God's glory, but all the answers you gave they were all spot -on

28:38

Wisdom is actual the practical using of the Word of God in everyday life

28:48

Therefore the counselor must know and understand the Word of God. These are the qualifications Know and understand the

28:55

Word of God Know how to apply it in everyday life Be applying the word to his own life.

29:04

If you're not applying it to your own life and use counseling others What does that make you a? Hypocrite be able to communicate truth to others and that means you have to be able to be somewhat articulate in your speech

29:25

Can biblical counsel fail? What do you think? Yes, it can several reasons

29:39

Counseling can fail firstly because people are sinners They may just not follow through on what they're supposed to do

29:45

So you can give somebody all the best counsel in the world be right on target with it. Do it eloquently you know do it with a golden tongue and oh by the way

29:57

You've heard of John Chrysostom Does everybody you know that he was one of the early church fathers?

30:04

That's not his name Chrysostom is not his part of his name. That was the name that was given to him.

30:11

It means golden throat He was such an eloquent speaker that they actually called him golden throat

30:18

So that John when you see John Chrysostom Interesting people don't realize that that was just an extra

30:26

I threw in Counseling can fail because people can settle for less than total change

30:37

Somebody's struggling They're depressed you come in you give them a little bit of counsel and you're working through the issues and all of a sudden the

30:45

Situation relieves itself. They say oh, that's it. I'm good So, you know, you're not, you know, you got you're not finished with but people

30:56

Can be stubborn Counseling can fail if the counselor becomes too sympathetic and his judgment is clouded

31:03

You need to be involved with the counseling, but you also have to make sure that You don't become too sympathetic and and not follow through with what you're supposed to do

31:16

Counseling can fail if the counselor ends too quickly. I Don't believe in long drawn -out

31:23

Counseling, but you can there is such a thing as ending it too quickly as well Counseling can fail if the counselor abuses his authority

31:35

Number biblical counseling is is voluntary Unless it comes to the church unless according to Matthew 18 discipline discipline is the end of somebody who is rejecting biblical counseling and And is involved in serious or gross sin, and then

31:59

I figured I just throw this in So that you maybe can understand things from a pastor's point of view just for a few few seconds

32:10

These qualifications describe the biblical elder That's why all pastors must be counselors not that they all must practice it all the time, but they must be competent to counsel a

32:26

Biblical pastor is lovingly Frank with his people lovingly

32:31

Frank You know, it's you got a You have to take the truth of God and wrap it in love

32:39

It's like, you know, if somebody has bad breath, there's you know, you can ask them, you know Would you like a mint?

32:46

Or you can say you still chewing on your old socks, huh? No asking if they want a mint a

33:01

Pastor is willing to confront his people for their good and God's glory He's specific and tries to bring correction in a straightforward manner

33:12

Not beating around the bush, but being direct but wrapped in love and Then the pastor's whole life should be marked by new static orientation

33:26

I just figured I'd throw that in maybe help you understand some of the things that we as Board of Elders are involved with and it's not always easy and With that are there any thoughts or questions?