- 00:00
- Let's talk about feelings tonight. I think it was the late 60s or early 70s. There was that song feelings
- 00:06
- Oh, oh feelings who's saying that for extra credit Morris Albert, and that is not
- 00:12
- Herb Albert That is Morris Albert, and he did not have a trumpet pardon me And I remember that song feelings.
- 00:21
- Oh feelings, and I want to talk about Feelings tonight and figure out if they're good or bad how a
- 00:27
- Christian should relate to this topic of feelings Let me ask you some questions, and I don't have to prod you any longer
- 00:33
- But you can answer out loud because you're already doing that What does the world say about feelings anyone this but I prefer one at a time
- 00:42
- Pardon me trust your feelings good No feelings are wrong
- 00:50
- Feelings are facts Don't hurt other people's feelings.
- 00:55
- Okay, follow your feelings good If it feels good do it that's a good ad campaign by the way
- 01:04
- Anything else about feelings? What does the world tell us about feelings? They're good
- 01:13
- They could be trusted all right next question.
- 01:19
- What does the Bible say about feelings? anyone Whatever the world says just say the opposite, and then you've got it down.
- 01:29
- They're bad. Don't trust them Is This Friday night talent night
- 01:41
- By the way, you know we've been accused at this church by not having any fellowship And I think we've had so much fellowship the last few days.
- 01:47
- It's caused a frenzy of Insanity in you the church. We got to cut all this fellowship out too much snack time
- 01:58
- What else does the Bible say about feelings? well, maybe they could spin it into that but I I'm not exactly sure
- 02:11
- Okay, don't trust feelings Puts a high priority priority, and there's a preeminency to thinking versus feeling okay good
- 02:23
- One at a time boy Anybody else yes
- 02:29
- Self -control there's a lot of emphasis on self -control good
- 02:36
- Bob okay good
- 02:46
- Tom. Did you have something? All right, well what we're gonna.
- 02:51
- Do tonight is I'm going to try to talk a little bit about feelings with a true and false Format and so if you're taking notes true and false number one
- 02:59
- And I'll tell you the true and false and you tell me if it's true or false and why or why not please number one
- 03:05
- True or false all feelings are bad Feelings are bad all of them false
- 03:13
- Would you care to elaborate? Love is a feeling and that's good Okay Guilt is a feeling and that's good.
- 03:22
- We forget sometimes about the feeling of guilt We have a conscience that either says yes, you're doing the right thing or no you're doing the wrong thing good.
- 03:31
- Yes, Jesse feelings of remorse it talks about in the
- 03:36
- Bible and so certainly those remorseful feelings are good because they Are commensurate with what we've done right the desire to have feelings of remorse are not necessarily good
- 03:47
- But that God would grant feelings of remorse after we do bad things sinful things is good excellent
- 03:56
- Okay, though, so there's things about joy and being in the presence of the Lord where those are all positive
- 04:02
- We're not are we to walk around like robots as Christians or anyone who's having fun
- 04:08
- You know we want to make sure they don't in our presence Not at all God has made us as emotional people we have feelings yes
- 04:16
- Wesley Peace okay would that be the Eagles kind of peace or the
- 04:21
- Romans five kind of priests I? Know what you're talking about But there is the peace in Roman in Philippians chapter 4 where we have a peace instead of being anxious
- 04:31
- When we're in a certain kind of trial good. Yes, Brian Mourning over sin similar to remorse, but more involved in the process than at the end good
- 04:41
- Heather so outside our own selves excellent point we can even have
- 04:52
- Emotions and feelings for other people whether they are joyful, and we rejoice with them are they are sorrowful excellent
- 05:01
- Okay, so what I want to talk about number one is not all feelings are bad There are bad feelings like lust but there are good feelings like love and joy, and it would be sad if God made us as spiritual lepers having no feelings at all leprosy in the
- 05:17
- Bible was often indicated by the lack of nerve endings and in a An appendage and so you would accidentally hit your foot
- 05:24
- And you wouldn't know you'd hit your foot and then sooner or later You've got a big problem when you keep hitting your foot over and over and over and so it is a good thing
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- That God has given us feelings that we might have feelings of guilt negatively and feelings of joy and excitement of exciting love
- 05:41
- And so feelings are not all bad. We don't want to be robots. We'll just keep building on this number two true or false
- 05:48
- Feelings can get you into a lot of trouble any comments about that.
- 05:55
- Why or why not? Feelings can get you in a lot of trouble. I don't mean personal testimony time, but I just mean
- 06:05
- Okay, David and Bathsheba He felt lustful he had to have her and did and it can cause a lot of problems not only to David personally
- 06:14
- But to his own son and then to the kingdom as well And then to others Bathsheba being another and her husband
- 06:21
- Uriah good other comments Yes, Jesse Okay, so if we go all the way back to the beginning there could be some feelings there
- 06:49
- Maybe it was the fact that she had a desire for the fruit Maybe that included that she wanted to have no boundaries that God told her there are things to do and not to do
- 06:58
- But she wanted to on her own Initiative good Lloyd -jones said quote Oh the havoc that is wrought and the tragedy the misery and the wretchedness that are to be found in the world
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- Simply because people do not know how to handle their feelings
- 07:18
- Churches split marriages dissolved all kinds of things that are not good have happened because people have trusted their feelings now
- 07:26
- You may be thinking well, what do I do about the feelings? I have we're just setting everything up So I'll hold on there.
- 07:31
- It's a Bible teaching church. We'll get the Bible open in a second number three true or false
- 07:37
- Feelings should be your final authority when making a decision I mean it just sounds so easy to say doesn't it but in our own lives as these decisions manifest themselves
- 07:48
- We want to be very careful Comments about why feelings should not be your final authority
- 07:55
- Luke The Bible should be your final authority. Thank you.
- 08:00
- Good good for for the sake of the tape
- 08:15
- God has Some people say I have to trust my feelings when in fact we can't always go on our feelings
- 08:24
- Right. What else did you say? I forgot Now she's forgotten feelings can make you very
- 08:37
- I'm at peace with it and it has happened often where there'll be a marriage that is dissolved And they'll say
- 08:42
- I prayed about it, and I have peace it also manifests itself by saying You know I'll date an unbeliever And then
- 08:47
- I have peace with it that somehow your feelings trump the Word of God when God clearly states a fact
- 08:52
- But you say my feelings Supersede that and so it becomes very very difficult and God if you're a child of God will chasten us in love for that And if we're not a child of God There are many goads that God puts in our way people unbelievers way
- 09:09
- To make them consider the cost Good Feelings are unstable
- 09:17
- Feelings are unreliable Feelings are often governed by pride CJ Mahaney said lies sometimes feel like the truth
- 09:27
- And that is so true West did you have comment? Feelings are very very selfish aren't they excellent we were jumping ahead, but that's very good
- 09:44
- Martin Luther said feelings come and feelings Go and feelings are deceiving my warrant is the
- 09:51
- Word of God not else is worth believing Isn't that good?
- 09:57
- Feelings come and feelings go and feelings are deceiving my warrant is the Word of God not else is worth believing
- 10:09
- When you talk do you talk this way? How do you feel about this?
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- What do you think about this? What do you believe about this? Which one would typify you the belief and I think or how do you feel that's just how we talk today, isn't it?
- 10:27
- How does that make you feel? very very interesting Our feelings ebb and flow with circumstances.
- 10:34
- We have pressure We are free to feel a certain way. We have a headache. We feel another way
- 10:40
- We cannot live by our feelings and if you allow your circumstances to control your mood our feelings.
- 10:46
- There is going to be trouble I Said this poem I think a month ago feeling faith and fact
- 10:52
- Feeling had an awful fall and faith was taken back faith was so close to feeling that when he stumbled faith stumbled and Fell too, but fact remained and held faith up and that helped feeling to Number four true or false a lack of feelings
- 11:11
- Does not make something untrue that is to say if if you don't feel something does that change if something's wrong
- 11:19
- It's true or not. I guess here's what I'm after. I'm not saying it very well If you're married today, do you feel married right now?
- 11:27
- How many people are married? Do you feel married? Some do have you always felt married every day that you've been married.
- 11:35
- Have you really felt it some are shaking their heads. Yes Well, maybe I'm the odd one out, but some days
- 11:42
- I wake up and I don't feel married But in fact am I married I am married and just because I don't feel something
- 11:49
- Let's let's use something that's uh for those who are single as well. If you're a Christian, are you forgiven?
- 11:55
- Are you forgiven for those? Horrible sins that you commit in secret are that you committed before you were a
- 12:01
- Christian that you would hate to have anybody know of Are you forgiven of those? Sometimes do you feel forgiven of those from those?
- 12:10
- But in fact, are you which one's true? You don't feel forgiven How could anybody forgive something like that yet?
- 12:17
- The Bible says that Jesus has taken care of all my sins past present and future if justification is true And it is he has paid for all my sins.
- 12:24
- I have all his righteousness. I don't feel forgiven, but I am in fact what? Forgiven I love this advice
- 12:34
- George McClellan was commissioned by the major general of the army and he wrote his wife
- 12:39
- He said I don't feel any different than I did yesterday. Indeed. I have not yet put on my uniform I am sure that I am in command of the
- 12:48
- Union Army However, because President Lincoln's orders to that effect now lies before me. I don't feel like I'm the new leader.
- 12:55
- But in fact, am I? Absolutely. So sometimes we can't even say to ourselves I don't feel a certain way so that lets me out of my obligation our duty to do what
- 13:05
- I need to do For example in marriage comments All right, number five
- 13:13
- God has made feelings to follow our actions whether good or bad feelings follow what we do
- 13:23
- That's the way it's supposed to go at least. All right, let's turn our Bibles to Proverbs chapter 29 verse 18 that in God's ordained way
- 13:31
- Feelings are to follow our actions as we submit to truth We feel a certain way when we serve we feel a certain way when we lie.
- 13:39
- We feel a certain way In other words feelings are to act as the caboose and not the engine.
- 13:47
- I Would say whenever I do pastoral counseling, I put a little chart out and I say feel
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- Do Think and I put the arrows going this way how many people have actually heard me do that be counseled in my own office and study
- 14:04
- Some of you aren't admitting to it because I remember doing it feel
- 14:11
- Do think if it feels good Do it and then later if you want think about it, especially if you didn't turn out the way you like it
- 14:20
- Think about it. But what does the Bible do? It spins it all around think do
- 14:27
- Feel and so here is a good little paradigm for that Proverbs 29 18 if you go to the happy part, but happy is he who keeps the law
- 14:40
- You do something that God tells you to do God recompenses you with the proper feelings
- 14:46
- I could put it this way when Some of you lately have gone with Bruce to Go evangelize at the
- 14:54
- Worcester Common when you were driving down to that common. What were you feeling? I Can't wait to do this.
- 15:01
- It's gonna be so exciting. It's gonna be so fantastic I'm just gonna talk to these people. They're gonna respond and it's just gonna
- 15:08
- I just feel so good Maybe that's how you would act but here's how I would act Because I've had to go outside and do things like that Why did
- 15:17
- I say yes, I Mean I have to go what if they have a knife, you know, what is going on?
- 15:23
- I have to go talk to them And what if Bruce is a better evangelist outside than me and all these other kind of things rushing into my brain
- 15:31
- But then when I actually go and do it and I'm driving home, what kind of feelings do you think
- 15:36
- I have? Oh God, you've been so good you could use somebody like me to do that same thing if you want to get up and feed the poor and you have to Get up at three o 'clock to get down to the shelter by four o 'clock and when you get up at three o 'clock and you look at your watch and you think
- 15:50
- I feel great and Three o 'clock down to the shelter. Come on Come on, let's put on some music at the house.
- 15:57
- I'm feeling good. I feel so nice. Oh feelings Well, if you're like anyone else you get up and you think boy
- 16:08
- Tired I don't know if I really want to do this. Why don't let him wrangle me in the power of saying no, then you drive home and you're tired, but you feel good and What I do with this little paradigm happy as he who keeps the law.
- 16:27
- I often try to analyze self -analyze When I feel down and moody and crabby and ways that I ought not to Then I began to think to myself then what have
- 16:42
- I been doing? That God would grant me these feelings in love. He's granted me because of my conscience
- 16:49
- He's granted me this guilty conscious this conscience that doesn't feel good I must have been doing the wrong thing and I must have been thinking the wrong thing
- 16:57
- Understand that so sometimes I even drive out of this church on a weekday And I'm just not feeling like I ought to and I say to myself have
- 17:05
- I've been studying have I've been praying have I've been? Thinking about others and if the answer is no well, then no wonder
- 17:10
- I feel this way God's way of living is thinking acting and then feeling as the caboose number six this was brought out earlier a focus on feelings often betrays selfishness
- 17:27
- Those that are always caught up in their own feelings could be very what? Selfish would you agree or disagree?
- 17:34
- It's okay if you want to disagree We if we have certain feelings
- 17:39
- But we have the commands of God that we are to serve him and to think of him Listen to what
- 17:45
- Lloyd -jones says we are so subjective and we live in this unhealthy Psychological generation that starts with man and ends with man.
- 17:53
- Most of our troubles are due to that We start thinking about ourselves all the time and not who
- 17:59
- God is well there's trouble turn to Genesis chapter 4 if you wouldn't let me show you an illustration of Really these last couple more maybe the feelings of the action
- 18:13
- Feelings due to the action Genesis chapter 4 there was a man named Abel and a man named Cain And here we'll see a man who has a problem in his life
- 18:22
- There's an unbiblical response and then bad feelings He feels then he does then he thinks or I could describe it as God grants him feelings appropriate to what he did
- 18:34
- Genesis 4 4 and Abel on his part also Brought the firstlings of his flock and their fat portions and the
- 18:41
- Lord Yahweh all caps had regard for Abel and his offering But for Cain and for his offering he had no regard so Cain became very
- 18:52
- Angry and his countenance fell then the Lord said to Cain verse 6
- 18:58
- Why are you angry and why has your countenance fallen and then very interestingly look at verse 7 if you do
- 19:05
- Well will not your countenance be lifted up Isn't that what we're just saying if you do well will not your countenance be lifted up And if you do not do well sin is crouching at the door and its desire is for you
- 19:18
- But you must master it when you do the wrong things you feel guilt if you sin you feel guilt
- 19:27
- Jay Adams insightfully said God has so constructed us that when we fail to handle responsibilities properly our consciences trigger bad feelings
- 19:38
- These if not heated early are trouble David looked at His responses as a merciful warning sign for God intended to goad him to repentance
- 19:53
- I've already done this one, but we'll look up a couple verses number eight true or false Many times
- 19:58
- God expects you to do something even though you don't feel like it. Can you name a few?
- 20:06
- What does God expect you to do, but you might not feel like it Preaching sometimes
- 20:11
- I don't feel like preaching And it's usually not because of any reason except I Wish I could have more time to study or there's other things, but I have a duty so I preach
- 20:21
- Steve Forgive others. I don't want to it's almost like you have something over them right you can manipulate them because of that yes
- 20:31
- Confronting someone who likes to do that It's super hard if you think I like to do it. I hate to do it
- 20:37
- I try to put it off confronting others in sin dealing with sin in the church who wants to do that Tom Come to Sunday night service here.
- 20:45
- Let me give you 20 bucks Tom. God bless you But what you don't like to come and it's a it's a drive and you've got to come back and haven't you paid your dues in the morning and and Then when you leave hopefully if there's been preaching and fellowship, and there usually always is then when you drive home
- 21:03
- How do you feel well you feel good? Our Sunday morning too, okay
- 21:10
- If somebody came to you yes, go ahead, buddy Elijah Nineveh I wouldn't want to go to Nineveh either and So sometimes with obedience when
- 21:30
- God calls you to do something you don't want to do it What would you do? How about this?
- 21:35
- What if your daddy got a phone call today, and he God told him He doesn't speak anymore except through his word, but God told your daddy that he was to go to Tehran Iran and he was to go there and preach to the entire city that Jesus Christ is the only
- 21:49
- Savior and Muhammad is a false prophet. Do you think your daddy'd want to go? That's exactly what
- 21:56
- Jonah was faced with those people in Nineveh were horrible They hated believers matter of fact when you walked and you came to the port at the main city in Nineveh They had kind of a funny wallpaper there on the wall by the by the port
- 22:09
- And it was funny because it wasn't wallpaper You know it was it was the people's skin that they skinned alive and put that there saying you know what we are tough
- 22:18
- Mean Ninevites and Jonah didn't want to go he was partly afraid but more than that He didn't want those wicked people believing in God.
- 22:24
- That's what he was really after because he knew God was merciful and compassionate Okay, sorry.
- 22:30
- I'm off on Jonah, but that's such an amazing story Anybody else Luke you have just general obedience if someone were to come to you and said this what would you tell them
- 22:41
- I? Don't love my wife anymore What kind of counsel would you give them?
- 22:48
- I don't love my wife anymore CC Well We're paid to be good, and you're good for nothing so I But we want to try to equip the
- 23:04
- Saints to deal with things Open your Bible and start reading okay
- 23:12
- Okay, so we love is a feeling but love is also commitment and you my friend in the office
- 23:18
- I'm not talking to you Bruce, but you my friend in the office You're confusing what the love of God is this agape kind of love in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 25
- 23:27
- Husbands who feel good about their wives like Christ felt good about the church No You are thinking that you are not to give and if you're trying to come into my office saying
- 23:36
- I don't give it to my wife Self -sacrificially anymore, then I've got news for you repent and start and then as you do the right things
- 23:43
- What do you think God will do with the feelings? They'll line up it might not happen right away, so God you said that happy is he who keeps the law
- 23:51
- I came home one night and tried to love my wife self -sacrificially, and I still don't feel love for her What's up with that God?
- 23:57
- What would you say then? Keep going that's right there are patterns and habits and Five weeks and six weeks and and we either believe the truth of God or we don't and so if God says you love her
- 24:10
- Then I think God will be very pleased to give us feelings commensurate with The actions that we're doing if you don't love your spouses
- 24:19
- Then that's sinful and so it's a good time to repent I'll never forget as long as I live that story that I've told you often
- 24:27
- Where the young couple came in for counseling at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa and the counseling pastor there was named
- 24:32
- Romaine And so the young man came in with his wife And he said I just have a terrible time because I throw a little hissy fits with my wife, and I throw things and slam things down, and I just I Just have a real problem
- 24:46
- And so Romaine said to the husband follow me and so it was during the day It was a large church
- 24:51
- And it's kind of dark in the corridors and everything and they went down to a room shut the door and then
- 24:56
- Pastor Romaine placed something in the man's hand kind of felt funny and almost made some noise when you would feel it thin and weird and so then
- 25:06
- Pastor Romaine turned on the light and they were in the children's nursery, and it was a diaper in his hand
- 25:12
- So pastor Romaine said now next time you want to come home and throw a little hissy fit a little selfish baby fit in front of your wife
- 25:19
- I want you to first before you do that put this on go into the bathroom do what babies do in diapers
- 25:27
- Clean yourself off take a shower, and then go out and be a man to your wife That's what
- 25:32
- I want you to do you thought I was hard in counseling John 13 17 let's turn there
- 25:43
- I want to show you again that Jesus talks about blessing when after we do them
- 25:49
- We cannot run our lives on our emotions if you make decisions based on your emotions
- 25:54
- You are going to be in trouble the heart is desperately wicked deceitful above all else follow it all the time
- 26:01
- Is that what the Bible says no you can't know it, so please be careful That's why when you need to make a big decision you have to go outside of yourself and ask for counsel from God James 1 5
- 26:12
- And ask other people for counsel as well because you can't trust yourself Why is this church not a one elder led church elder rule one guy?
- 26:21
- I'm the guy matter of fact the church down in Newtown interviewed a guy He said I believe in a deacon board and the pastor and the pastor is also called the president of the congregation
- 26:33
- Why don't we want that? Because there's wisdom in a multitude of counselors
- 26:39
- I have strengths and weaknesses and the other men have different strengths and weaknesses and then together you have a solid board
- 26:45
- So we ask God for wisdom we go outside of that because we can't trust ourselves John 13 17
- 26:53
- Jesus said you know the context of foot washing and everything else now that you know these things He's talking to the disciples, but certainly we've seen the principle in the
- 27:01
- Solomonic proverb You will be blessed if you do them It's just that's that's the formula
- 27:09
- I Like this is so good, and it's not even a believer Newspaper columnist
- 27:15
- George crane tells of a wife that came into his office. What's his minister? So maybe he was She hated her husband.
- 27:22
- I don't only want to get rid of him I want to get even but before I divorce him. I want to hurt him as much as he's hurt me
- 27:29
- What would you tell him tell her? Okay, here's the plan Go home and act as if you really love your husband tell him how much he means to you
- 27:38
- Praise him for every decent trait go out of the way to be as kind considered and generous as possible
- 27:44
- Spare no efforts to please him to enjoy him make him believe you love him after you've convinced him of your
- 27:50
- Undying love and that you cannot live without him then drop the bomb Tell him that you're getting a divorce that will really hurt him with revenge in her eyes.
- 27:59
- She smiled and exclaimed Beautiful beautiful will he ever be surprised? She did it with enthusiasm at enthusiasm acting as if for two months.
- 28:09
- She showed love kindness listening giving reinforcing sharing When she didn't return back to the office crane called are you ready now to go through with the divorce?
- 28:19
- Divorce never I discovered. I really do love him Husbands love your wives.
- 28:28
- It's Christ. Love the church Well, I had others, but we want to focus in now on a one particular
- 28:36
- Feeling and that is the feeling of joy This is kind of two sermons in one it's a twofer
- 28:43
- Joy, let me give you several ways to decrease your joy. If you don't want joy, let me give you some reasons
- 28:50
- So, let me give you some things to do rather so you won't have any joy these are ways to decrease your joy, how about that?
- 28:57
- ready number one Suppress the command to obey
- 29:03
- God by being joyful That in other words, let's turn to Philippians chapter 4 verse 4
- 29:09
- Just say how can I be commanded to rejoice just suppress that don't think about it
- 29:15
- Did you know rejoicing is a command? Do you know we are to rejoice
- 29:20
- God commands us to rejoice how often by the way Rejoice in the
- 29:26
- Lord always and again, I will say Rejoice if you're not rejoicing right now, what does that make you?
- 29:35
- Yes, I would say sinning sinner, how can
- 29:41
- God call me to obey How can he call me to serve him with gladness?
- 29:46
- Doesn't he know what's going on in my life right now? Doesn't he know my financial situation doesn't even know about my health doesn't you know about this turmoil
- 29:53
- God? How can you do that? Who are you to tell me that? Let me give you another
- 30:02
- Way to have no joy Don't confess your sin on a regular basis
- 30:12
- Don't confess your sin on a regular basis when I lose my joy. Do you know what I think about? I think what kind of sin is in my life that I need to confess because I should be having joy and if I don't
- 30:22
- Have joy, I must have been walking in the Fruit in the walking in this in the flesh what's happening?
- 30:29
- How about this if you don't confess sin Proverbs 5 that ways are
- 30:35
- Man's ways are in full view of the Lord and he examines all his paths The evil deeds are of a wicked man and snare him the cords of a sin hold them fast
- 30:45
- You're in sin and you're held in there. What should you do? You should confess your sins Would you turn to Proverbs 28 13 and let me show you that when you confess your sin?
- 30:53
- It's like letting the floodgates of God's mercy out. I Always thought it was amazing.
- 31:00
- We would go to Gavin's Point Dam on the Missouri River by Nebraska and South Dakota and we'd actually drive up to the dam on the bottom side of the dam and hook our boat up to that Point when they would shut the dam down and I just kept thinking what would happen one day if they opened up those big dam levers
- 31:16
- Well, I'm standing in that boat right there. Just the crushing force of that water coming out
- 31:24
- Pardon me. Yeah, it would have been I would have been dead at that time straight to perdition Proverbs 28 13
- 31:31
- You want joy in your life? We'll first think if there's sin that you need to confess he who conceals his sin does not prosper
- 31:39
- But whoever confesses and renounces them finds what mercy the floodgate of mercy.
- 31:44
- This is a verse that you should memorize God I'm not gonna say it's a syndrome. I'm not gonna say it's a disease.
- 31:50
- I'm not gonna say it was my husband's fault I'm not gonna say I Had a headache.
- 31:55
- I'm not gonna say this or that I'm gonna say God you expected me to act this way I'm not acting that way
- 32:00
- I don't feel joyful and it's because you have given me the fruit of my actions and I have now sinful attitude
- 32:07
- So, please forgive me and will God give mercy the answer is yes Number three if you don't want any joy
- 32:16
- Forget that you cannot produce joy on your own Can you produce joy on your own? All right at the count of three everybody be joyful one two, three go
- 32:28
- Go You're commanded rejoice How do you do it?
- 32:36
- You can smile. Oh, yeah, I'm happy. How are you? I'm doing good brother But the fruit of the
- 32:45
- Spirit is love and joy if you don't have joy God would you grant me joy? God? I want to grow.
- 32:50
- I want to walk in your ways I want to do what the Bible says and God of the universe You're going to have to give me joy because with all my circumstances
- 32:57
- I can never produce it in myself All right. Let's do another one.
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- This gets better. It's really personal like here's a way to decrease your joy.
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- Don't forgive others Don't forgive other people when they sin against you
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- Who did they think? They were when they sinned against you Did they know who they were sinning against just be bitter and you'll be fine.
- 33:28
- You don't need any joy. What are some Synonyms for bitterness by the way, well, let's say this.
- 33:40
- Let's not use synonyms Let's use code words for bitterness for people that don't like to forgive kind of code words.
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- Can you think of any? Okay, strong -willed good
- 33:56
- What? Ticked off You're kind of getting there.
- 34:03
- Do any of these words describe you but we wouldn't say we're bitter. But how about these? I'm often hurt.
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- I hurt easily I'm often upset I'm easily bothered
- 34:19
- Annoyed irritated resentful Enraged I Get bugged easily
- 34:29
- Distressed hot under the collar Irish temper. Okay, that's not in my notes
- 34:37
- That's not bitterness What does Ephesians 4 say let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away with you put away from you with all malice
- 34:53
- Some of the people that I know who are very very Bitter are just will just will not forgive you like the other story.
- 35:04
- So I'll give you this one Couple was married for 15 years and started to have arguments
- 35:09
- They wanted their marriage to work and so they came up with this idea. It was called the fault box
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- F -a -u -l -t The boxes would provide a place to let the other one know about the things in their life that daily irritated them
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- The wife was diligent in her efforts in her approach and said things like this leaving the jelly top off the jar wet towels on the shower floor
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- Dirty socks not in the hamper. They did this for a month and then another month at the end of dinner
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- They exchanged boxes the husband reflected on what he had done wrong Then the wife opened up her box and began reading they were all the same and the message on each slip was
- 35:50
- I Love you. I love you We're to get rid of all this bitterness.
- 36:00
- We're to get rid of all these things If you don't want any joy, let me give you another thing that you
- 36:10
- Should not do don't do anything positively to replace your sinful behavior turn to Ephesians chapter 4
- 36:16
- One of the best things you could do is when you have bad behavior replace it with positive behavior It's just not
- 36:21
- Christianity and sanctification is not stop doing these things It's stop doing these things and then do these things in addition to stopping and you can just see that there
- 36:29
- I've preached through Ephesians, so I don't have to go through the whole thing, but you can just see the substitution of Good behavior for bad behavior
- 36:39
- What does it say there in Philippians chapter 4 verse Ephesians chapter 4 verse 32?
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- Just got done talking about bitterness and then it says in verse 32 be kind to one another Tender -hearted forgiving one another just as God in Christ has also forgiven you.
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- That's what we're to do. It's it's be it's behavior replacement Verse 1 of chapter 5 therefore be imitators of God as beloved children walk in love just as Christ also loved you and gave himself up for us and a
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- Offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma Okay, one last one.
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- We must stop if you would like to not have any joy Lastly then you need to deny.
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- God is sovereign over everything in your life So what's the positive converse is
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- God sovereign over everything what about that trial you're in right now Could he have stopped it could he have made something?
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- I'm gonna say something that requires a no answer to see if you're thinking You know
- 37:54
- I just never thought about that in my wildest dreams that I would be preaching and my son Would be kind of in the front row goading me on Man how blessed am
- 38:05
- I most days The other day we were talking and I've been getting into biking quite a bit and Haven't I haven't
- 38:22
- I had an MRI last week because I fell on my knee once the doctor's gonna look at it tomorrow I don't know what he'll say, but said
- 38:27
- Luke I'm looking forward to the day when you get older and we could bike together Just go on long -distance rides together, and just that would be a joy to me and He said dad.
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- I don't want to be a biker I'm thinking First Kim now
- 38:42
- Luke Maybe I had to ride with Bob Dunn every day So what do you mean you don't wanna?
- 38:53
- I mean cuz normally Luke is you know like like basketball dad who we rooting for rooting for Connecticut, okay?
- 38:59
- I'm rooting for Connecticut to where they were the same and all that except you like the Yankees, and I like the Red Sox Kim and Luke are the
- 39:09
- Yankee couple in the family It's getting hot in here So why don't you want to ride bikes?
- 39:18
- we just do things as a family and and he like a son has allegiance to his father's teams, and that'll just be great and I Don't want to be a biker dad because I want to be a preacher.
- 39:29
- I was just talking about a hobby He was talking about a call of God. Well that has nothing to do with anything except.
- 39:38
- It does give me joy God is sovereign in your life, and if you don't recognize that you were gonna be kicking the goads for a long long time
- 39:47
- God gave you the wife he gave you or God didn't give you the spouse God is sovereign over all these things and it is a good thing to do to study
- 39:58
- Doctrine or else you will end up like someone. I knew about in the Bible Who said it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the
- 40:07
- Lord has gone out against me Do not call me so -and -so call me
- 40:14
- Mara for all the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me I went out full and the Lord has brought me back home again empty
- 40:20
- Why do you call me so -and -so since the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has afflicted me?
- 40:28
- Certainly we know that is from the book of Ruth God puts you with perfect wisdom in whatever situation you have been in or you will be in do you believe that?
- 40:41
- Sometimes it's not easy to face, but it's true I Said I would end of that one
- 40:46
- But let me just throw one more out like a hand grenade into a room always hang out with people who are joyless If you don't want much joy hang out with people that never have any joy
- 40:55
- They're walking around and they just so look bad It says even in scriptures Proverbs 22 do not associate with the man given to anger or with a hot -tempered man
- 41:05
- Why lest you learn his ways and find a snare for yourself? I like to hang out with people who have the joy of the
- 41:13
- Lord. Don't you? And when I hang out with those who don't I hope I'm there to try to minister to them to say
- 41:19
- What should you be rejoicing in more than anything else? Jesus said to the disciples, you know, you shouldn't be rejoicing that you've got the power to cast out demons
- 41:26
- You should be rejoicing the fact that you get to go to heaven. That's the number one rejoicing We want to have joy
- 41:33
- We want to have a place where we know that God of the universe is our strength and that we are in his sovereign hand
- 41:39
- Do you know everything that God does? To you and for you is the most wise that could ever be wise thing that could ever be done
- 41:48
- Because if it wasn't the most wise and he wouldn't let it happen or he wouldn't ordain that Well, we looked a little bit about feelings one in particular joy and then just the regular place of feelings beloved just let me remind you that you say feelings should be a
- 42:06
- Reflector of what I've done not an initiator and motivator for what I want to do, right?
- 42:12
- That's the bottom line feelings are good. God has made us as feeling creatures. Did Jesus have feelings by the way?
- 42:19
- And if he was the perfect man ought we not to have feelings that are just like Christ Jesus's he had feelings of anger and feelings of joy and Jesus was a man who had the most feelings out of all not tainted by any sin and it's good for us to have feelings
- 42:35
- I do not want a bunch of Stoics around here, you know a bunch of Calvinists walking around God's in charge
- 42:41
- You know kind of Frank and Calvinist, you know God's in charge I Want to live life.
- 42:53
- I want to live it to the full God has given us so much and we are to enjoy him and as we enjoy him we can say
- 42:58
- God It's your good doing that you have given me this joy this food this wife this friend this church this experience
- 43:07
- That's what I want to do. Well, let's close in prayer prayer, please and then sing
- 43:13
- Lord we would just ask that you'd staple these thoughts to our hearts Lord rivet them to our minds and help us as a church not to go by feelings
- 43:23
- Father we have so many feelings and they betray us so we would ask that you would use our church to help one another when one of us is weak and then start sliding down the
- 43:33
- The slope of I'm operating on feelings To have us come alongside and love to tell them no and there's a better way and Lord we would admit
- 43:43
- Although sometimes it's hard for us Your ways are always the best ways and you know exactly what you're doing and you have created us and you know
- 43:51
- And we thank you that you've given us feelings of love and joy and even godly anger
- 43:56
- Thank you for a life. That's full and whole and you're a God who grants