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Done is they are returning to their seats. Let me invite you to join me in Psalm 127 and Psalm 128. Two magnificent songs given to us by the Lord as to how it is that we can effectively build a household of faith.
Psalm 127, a beautiful, beautiful psalm of ascent accompanied by Psalm 128. I mentioned a moment ago as I prepared to look at this, I came across an article that really disturbed me. It was in Time Magazine just a couple weeks ago, Wired for Distraction.
Like it or not, social media is reprogramming our children's brains. What's a good parent to do? And here's what was noted. A Kaiser Family Foundation report released last year found that on average children ages 8 to 18 spend 7 hours and 38 minutes a day using entertainment media.
And if you count each content stream separately, that is a lot of kids, for example, text message while watching TV, they multitask, they are logging almost 11 hours of media usage a day. That's 77 hours a week.
77 hours a week. And you say, where's mom and dad? These are the new babysitters. These are the new babysitters. And that's why you see them walking around with earphones in their ears, listening to their iPod and working their phone at the same time, text messaging or Facebooking.
And I've even seen some that can do both of those and watch TV at the same time. And of course, if you're doing all that, you're tuned out in one sense to the world that surrounds you. But the fact of the matter is, my iPod's always there for me.
And my friends are almost always available when I want to text message with them. And so again, it is a great challenge in the world in which we live to stay connected with our children. And basically what this psalm of ascent tells us, along with Psalm 128, is unless the Lord builds the house, we do labor in vain.
And so look at what Psalm 127, a psalm of ascent, a psalm actually penned by Solomon. Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Mark that word. It occurs three times in the first two verses.
Hebrew parallelism, unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil, for he does give his beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. As I mentioned a moment ago, Psalm 127 is a psalm of ascent. They would sing this song as they were going up to Jerusalem to the temple, and they did not go alone.
They went as a family, and they went being led by their father. And it's interesting that in Jewish tradition, Psalm 127 was recited as part of a Thanksgiving service after the birth of a child. And so the psalm has a pattern to it.
It's very much, as is Psalm 128, patterned after Psalm 1. In fact, Psalm 1 is intended to cast its shadow over the entirety of the 150 psalms, talking about the blessed life, talking about the wise life lived out under the lordship of God.
And so Psalm 127 is the psalm that talks to us about how it is that the wise man builds his house. Well, let me make a couple of observations exegetically as I have previously through 127, make some comments, then we'll move to 128, and we will finish our day on time.
First of all, verses 1 and 2 teach us this, let the Lord build your house. We all have a foundation that we're going to establish, and so what foundation will you lay? The psalmist says, let the Lord build your house.
You'll see that the word unless occurs twice there in verse 1. Unless the Lord builds the house, you build this house in vain. In other words, the security and the work of a home needs to be founded upon that which is provided by the Lord.
In other words, the psalmist almost says, like in Psalm 1, either you'll build your house in a godly way or an ungodly way. You'll either build your house on wisdom or you'll build your house on unwisdom or non-wisdom.
I like what Warren Wiersbe says, whether we are building structures with bricks and mortar and steel, or building lives, families, and churches with truth and love, we cannot succeed without the help of the Lord.
Now he tells us in verse 1 that without the Lord what we actually do is in vain. It's an example of Hebrew parallelism. Unless the Lord builds the house, those who labor, labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest. And so in essence he's saying, leave God out of the equation and you play the fool. Build walls, guard the city, leave God out, and you have played the fool.
In other words, he's telling us quite simply, no home has a firm foundation without God at the center. No city is safe without God as its protector. Build both, leave God out, and then ask the question, was it worth it?
And you'll find the answer is no. John Piper, the wonderful preacher there at the Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, says it this way, and I quote, it seems to me that the point of verse 1 is that no matter how hard you work to achieve anything, its achievement and the fulfilling enjoyment of it depends decisively on God.
If we do not trust in God with all our heart, but instead rely on our own insight, then we might, if he wills, produce a monument. But in the end, it will only be a monument to futility. So he begins by telling us that we need indeed to allow the Lord to be the one to build our house.
He says to do so without it is to labor in vain. But also he says, and I think this is very helpful and insightful to me, in verse 2, without the Lord, you will worry and wear out in vain. It is vain that you rise up early and go to bed late, eating the bread of anxious toil, for he is the one who gives his beloved sleep.
There's almost a turn in the text. In essence, what he's saying is this, verse 1 is guarding us against overconfidence. Verse 2 is warning us against being overworked. In other words, God is not against our building a house.
He's not against us guarding the city. He's not even against hard work either as verse 2 makes plain. But what he is saying is this, to work harder is really no answer. It can actually be nothing more than a new form of enslavement.
In other words, I do watch a lot of parents, especially evangelical parents, who worry, who stress out. And as a result, they live with anxiety, they get ulcers. And basically, brothers and sisters, what that is, is an evidence of unbelief that God's ways are best and that God's ways will work and that you can trust him.
As children grow up, they go through different seasons of life and they behave in different kinds of ways. And sometimes you can become frustrated and think, you know what, I'm doing it as best I can tell God's way and it's not working.
So maybe I ought to try something else. I would disagree. You just stay with it and stay with it and stay with it and stay with it. It is a proverb, not a promise. But train up a child in the way that he should go.
And when he is old, for the most part, he will not depart from it. Yes, I had two of my boys go through a season where they turned on what I had taught them and went in a different direction that I think, by God's grace, did not usher in what could have been traumatic and terrible and horrible and tragic consequences.
But they came back around. And actually, even one of the others even did it again. He doesn't mind me sharing, but my oldest twin, Nathan, played Division I basketball for three years at Murray State.
They went to the NCAA twice. And he is a pleaser, not just with daddy, but with everybody else. Everybody likes Nathan because Nathan conducts himself in a way that he wants to be liked. And all of a sudden, rather than him being a strong witness for Christ in that world of college athletics, he got sucked into it.
And so he returned to alcohol again. And then he got into the girl scene and the premarital sex scene. And then he really got into the alcohol scene. And then he got into, as you would expect, a life of lying and duplicity, because for about four years, he was living this kind of life.
Of course, he was hundreds of miles away. So I guess I can give my wife and me a little pass up on that. Though I still think I should have seen something. But after about four years, it all became too much and it began to crumble and to fall apart.
And we stepped back into his life very intentionally and very specifically and basically said to him, you know, even though you're in your mid -20s, I'm going to treat you like you're 12 years old. Now, you don't have to have me do this, but that does mean that you get nothing else from us and you go your own way.
And we basically would perform a first Corinthians five with our own son, which would have been brutal, but I would have done it. But by God's grace, he said, no, I realize I need your help. And so we put him in intensive discipleship and we watched him like a hawk and reaffirmed again that trust can be restored, but it doesn't exist right now.
And now, five years later, seminary graduate, serving a church staff, fixing to be a part of a church plant, looks like God's brought a beautiful lady into his life. Life has been turned around. My point is we just kept doing what the Bible said was the right thing to do.
Did you work harder? No, I don't think I could have worked any harder. I prayed harder. I don't think there's anything the text says there's anything wrong with praying harder. But no, don't get frustrated when you're doing the right thing before God.
Just keep doing the right thing and living a life of trust. If you do, you won't eat the bread of anxious torment. Rather, he will allow you to go to bed at night, put your head on the pillow and sleep because ultimately you realize your children don't belong to you.
Your children belong to God. By the way, this is for free. There are a lot of Christian parents who don't really believe that. One of the most frustrating experiences I have as a seminary president is to watch young men and women come to our school.
God get a hold of their heart. And the next thing you know, they are calling their mom and dad and they're telling them, I believe God has called me to take the gospel to the nations. God has called me to be a missionary.
And believe it or not, I and my mission staff get phone calls from parents. What have you done to my child? I sent my child to you to be trained for ministry and to come back home. How dare you deceive my kids or manipulate my kids so that they now will take my grandchildren away from me?
You say that doesn't really happen. Happens every semester. Happens all the time. And I'm thinking, did you really raise them in faith to give them to God or did you turn your children, hear me well, did you as many evangelicals unintentionally do, did you turn your kids into little idols?
And you worship those little idols more than you worship the King and the Lord who gave them to you for a brief time as a stewardship for you to give them back to him and turn them loose to do something great for the glory of God.
I'm just like everybody else. I would love to have all my kids, you know, around the corner down the street, but would I really want them to be out of God's will? Would I really want them to be down the street if God wanted them to be across the world sharing the gospel with those who've never heard the name of Jesus?
No, I don't think so. See, heaven and hell really are real, aren't they? And eternity is real and it lasts a long time. And so I might can give them away for a short period now that I will have them forever.
That's not a bad trade off, is it? That's actually a pretty good deal. And so you do the right things because they're right and you trust the Lord in the process. But then secondly, in verses three through five, he says, let the Lord also be the one who blesses your heritage.
Verse three, behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. They are a gift from the Lord. Do you believe that? Do you believe that your kids have been given to you as a gift from God? Now, do you understand, brothers and sisters, that's very countercultural today.
We live in a culture where kids aren't viewed like that. They're not viewed as a gift, they're viewed as a burden. They're not viewed as a blessing, but they're viewed as a hindrance. A couple of years ago, I came across an article that profiled a woman named Tony Vernelli.
The article says, and I quote, Tony Vernelli terminated her pregnancy and she did so in the firm belief that she was helping to save the planet. At the age of 27, this young woman at the height of her reproductive years was sterilized to protect the planet.
Incredibly, instead of mourning the loss of a family that never was, her boyfriend, now husband, presented her with a congratulations card. Tony relishes her decision with an almost religious zeal. Quote, having children is selfish.
It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet, she said. Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases and adds to the problem of overpopulation.
The only person who understood how I felt was my first husband, who didn't want children either. We both passionately wanted to save the planet, not produce a new life, which would only add to the problem.
I went to my doctor, but she wouldn't even consider the idea. I found it insulting that she thought that just because I was a woman, I would reach a point where an urge to breed would overcome all rational thought.
I've never doubted that I made the right decision. Ed, her second husband, I married in September and have a much nicer lifestyle as a result of not having children. Now, most people won't say it that bluntly, but for those of us who have 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 kids, they think we're crazy.
My friend Jimmy Scroggins pastored the First Baptist Church of West Palm Beach, Florida. He was the student minister at Highview Baptist Church in Louisville for a number of years. A dear friend of mine, he has 8 children.
He says in West Palm Beach where they live, he's the freak show. Especially if they drive around in a big church van that doesn't have a church name on the side. They just need a big church van because they've got 8 kids that they're sticking in there.
You say, well, I think he's crazy. Why? Why? You don't believe children are a heritage of the Lord? You don't believe that as verse 4 says, like Arizona Warriors in the hands of a warrior are the children of one duke.
You think it's good to go to war with a couple of arrows rather than more arrows? Now, again, don't you hear me saying, well then there's a quote that you expect, no, no, we had 4. We didn't have 6 or 8 or 9.
We had 4. He said why did you have 4? Because we wanted to have 4. We were dating. I said, hey honey, I think I want to have kids. Oh, I know I want to have kids. Well, that's good. We're moving in the right direction.
I'd like for the wife and the mother of my kids to be a stay-at-home mom. Oh, I am going to be a stay-at-home mom. Well, we're tracking the right direction. I said, you know, I've been thinking and most folks just have two kids or 2 .2 kids.
They're how you do that. I still haven't figured that one out, but they have 2 .2 kids and I don't want to have two. I want to have four. I said, well, I want to have four. Then we'll have four. Now, I have to admit, I did have a brief moment of thinking about that maybe not being the best thing, but I brought it up while she was in the process of delivering number four.
We're bad timing. Bad timing. I mean, I looked at it and I said, you really want this to be? Oh, absolutely, this is going to be the last one. So, you know, that's just sort of what we did. So, we had four.
I'm just saying, you know, they are a blessing. They are a joy. They are a delight. One of the things I'm really thrilled about is all of my kids are promising me at least four or more. So, we're going to end up having just a mother load of grandkids.
And I'm excited about that. Not because I'm trying to extend my gene pool, because I love children and I see them as this gift from the Lord. In fact, he says, as he concludes verse five, blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.
Now, Mike, I've had people all my life ask me how many is a quiver full. I read 15 commentaries and I can't find a precise number. So, that frees us up, doesn't it? Some of us may have a little quiver.
Some of us may have a big quiver. But you want your quiver to be full because it is a blessing. In fact, he says, the man who has his quiver full, he will not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gates.
Of course, the gate was the place where business was conducted. And going to the gate and meeting your enemies meant that you were going with some degree of danger on the horizon. And basically, he says, you want to be able to go to the gate with a quiver full of children that have your back.
One of the things I have learned in life that is a blessing is to have children that, when they become adults, have your back. That so believe in you that they would, you know, take on the world on your behalf and they would guard your back and you would never have to fear that they might make a mistake and shoot you in the back of the head.
And he says here that the man who is blessed has a quiver full, he is one who has trusted God in the process, and he is one who will not be put to shame even when his enemies come against him. That is a blessed, blessed, blessed man.
But that won't happen unless the Lord builds that house. All right? Very quickly, I'm going to have some practical things to draw at the very end. Look at Psalm 128. The Lord, the man blessed. Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways.
Is that not a summary of Psalm 1? I think that it is. He continues, you shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands. You shall be blessed and it shall be well with you. Your wife, he's going to deal both with the wife again and the children.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house. Your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you from Zion.
May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life. May you even see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel. I read an article a couple of years ago entitled Being a Man. It was written by a woman named Christina Summers.
She talks about a monument that is present in Washington. In fact, let me ask you this question. How did you know or knew that there is a monument to the men of the Titanic in Washington? Let me see your hand.
Not one of you. I didn't know either until I read this article. Now listen very carefully. It's fascinating what she says. I quote. One of the least visited. I guess we can even add one of the least known.
One of the least visited memorials in Washington is a waterfront statue commemorating the men who died on the Titanic. Now listen to this. Seventy-four percent of the women passengers survived the April 15, 1912 calamity.
Eighty percent of the men died. Did you know that? I didn't. Seventy-four percent of the women lived. Eighty percent of the men died. Why? Because the men followed the basic principle of what? Women and children first.
They did. The monument is an 18-foot granite male figure with arms outstretched to the side, and it was erected by the women of America in 1931 to show their gratitude. The inscription simply reads this.
To the brave men who perished in the wreck of the Titanic, they gave their lives that women and children might be saved. Today, almost no one remembers those men. Women no longer bring flowers to the statue on April 15 to honor their chivalry.
The idea of male gallantry makes many women nervous, suggesting, as it does, that women require special protection. It implies the sexes are objectively different. It tells us that some things are best left to men.
Gallantry is a virtue that dare not speak its name. Well, Psalm 128 wants to talk about a different kind of man, a man that is a blessing to his wife, a man that is a blessing to his children, and, yes, even a man who is a blessing to his nation.
You see it unfold very clearly in the text. Psalm 128 is a wisdom psalm. As I mentioned earlier, it's a companion to Psalm 127. They really do form a very beautiful duet. And, of course, the reoccurring theme that you see here in Psalm 128 is the idea of blessedness.
The word itself occurs repeatedly four times in verse 1. In verse 2, also in verse 4, and in verse 5. And so the psalm is talking about the kind of man in particular that the Lord blesses and what are some of those blessings, what it is indeed that they look like.
Again, Warren Weersbe, the wonderful Bible teacher for years at Moody Church in Chicago, said it this way, like Psalm 127 and even Jeremiah 29, this psalm deals with protection, verse 1, working, verse 2, the family, verses 3, 4, and 6, and God's blessings on Jerusalem.
While the writer includes all those who fear the Lord, the psalm is addressed especially to the man of the house. And so what does he begin by saying about the man of the house? There are three ideas, very quickly as we move to close this morning, that I want you to see.
Number one, he's going to say in verses 1 and 2, be clear, before your mate, your children, and the world, be clear about who you trust. Secondly, verses 3 and 4, be committed to those you love. And even number 3, be concerned with those where you live.
So be clear about who you trust, be committed to those you love, and be concerned with where you live. So he begins by saying, be clear with respect to who you trust. Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways.
I could say so much about this, but let me just cut to the chase. All the way in life, I have lived most of my life with a very simple principle or dictum, and that is this. All that really matters in life is that you please the Lord.
All that matters in life is that you please the Lord. Now, I'll tell you something, guys, that simplifies life. It makes it very easy to make hard decisions. You don't have to worry about approving trustees.
You don't have to worry about pleasing a faculty. If you're a pastor, you don't have to worry about pleasing your parishioners. Now, I understand you can't ignore them, but when everything is said and done, if I have to vote to please God or you, you lose.
You lose. And therefore, I don't have anxiety attacks. I don't have ulcers. I don't have these things because for me, it's just real simple. Will this decision that I'm about to make, will this decision please the Lord?
And he says those who live that kind of life are blessed. The Word has the idea of being happy, of being fortunate. And so this is the blessed man who fears the Lord, who indeed walks in His ways. In fact, he tells you there in verse 2, you shall eat the fruit of your labor.
God will bless the work that you do. You will be blessed and it shall be well with you. Now, what does it mean to walk in His ways? What does it mean to walk in wisdom? And let me again be very specific.
What does it mean to walk in wisdom in the way that you treat what comes in verse 3 and 4, the way you treat your wife and the way you treat your family? One of my heroes in ministry has been a man named Howard Hendricks.
Howard Hendricks taught at Dallas Theological Seminary for almost 50 years. He taught biblical interpretation, but he also taught a class on the Christian family. Very insightful. Much of what I've shared this weekend is just kind of who I am, having been immersed in the teachings of Howard Hendricks.
Well, he had some ideas about what he called the do's and don'ts in terms of how you deal with your children as a way of what it means to walk in wisdom. And just listen to what he says. They're very simple.
What are some don'ts? Don't compare one child with another. Don't use scorn, ridicule, or humiliation, especially in areas of their weakness. Don't threaten withdrawal of affection and love. Don't you ever say to your kids, if you don't do X, I won't love you.
Or maybe even worse, if you don't do X, God won't love you. How dare you? How dare you threaten them in that kind of a way, in an unbiblical kind of a way? He may discipline them. He may disapprove of them.
So should you, but you should not withhold love or even threaten the withholding of love. Don't promise with bribes and rewards. Don't discipline when angry. Don't expect perfection. And don't be afraid to say no.
The fact that my boys say, you know, you've changed. Have I changed? Well, you have a particular default answer to everything our children, your grandchildren, ask you. And your default answer is yes.
When we were growing up, as best we remember, your default answer was no. I said, I agree with you. And I feel no shame. They're grandchildren. It is my prerogative and right to spoil them, and then you have to deal with that.
And I don't care. And I don't. I do not care. I said, this is my way of paying you back for some of the suffering you sent me through. And so I don't feel guilty about it, and I'll continue to tell them yes.
In fact, pretty much, Maddie, my four-year-old honey, here it is. Which credit card would you like? Which money would you like? You want the keys to the car? I mean, I can't help it. I don't know what has happened, but the ability to say no has just been greatly deterred, and I'm not feeling guilty about it whatsoever.
All right? But what are some positives that Dr. Hendricks says will be evidence of a man who is fearing the Lord and walking in His ways or walking in His wisdom? He says, here's some positive things.
Help them see. I love this one. Help them see that disobedience is primarily against God. That's a great insight. Their disobedience is primarily against God. Secondly, impart to them the expectancy of obedience.
Thirdly, help the child evaluate his disobedience. Why did you do that? What were the outcomes of it? Paul, my middle son, I had a call one day from his mother. Paul had been suspended from school. He's in junior high.
Paul had been suspended from school. I said, what did he do? He stuck a paper clip in a light socket, and it knocked out the lights off and everything. They were able to pick the thing back. So I said, wow.
She said, I was going to go get him, but I think you need to go get him. I said, I'll go get him. I understood the tone of the voice. I understood that. I'll go get him. So I walk into the principal's office, and there he's sitting.
And he's sitting there kind of dangling his feet, looks up, there I go. I thought Mama was coming. And I said, well, you've been wrong twice today. Now, let's get in the car. So we get in the car. And again, I know this is mean, but I figured the silent treatment would work really well.
So I'm going to say a word. Nothing. He's waiting. He's thinking I'm going to attack him, blast him. I didn't say nothing. It's silent for 10 minutes. Then finally I say, Paul? Yes. He's waiting. Yes.
I said, can I ask you a question? Uh-huh. Why did you stick a paper clip in a light socket? And I really think he was telling me the truth. He at first said, well, I don't really know. Then he said, well, I guess I wanted to see what would happen.
Okay. By the way, I thought about this in the morning. One of the ways you love your kids is try to get in their shoes and look at life from their perspective. I could see how a 13-year-old would be curious as to what would happen if you stuck a paper clip.
Now, don't you go home and do it today, but I mean, I could understand that. So I said, okay. I said, did you see what happened? I said, do you think life will ever need to do that again? Uh-huh. No.
So we got that covered. My kid will never stick, I mean, so that part of his discipline is dealt with for life. But then, so I said, all right. I said, you know, we've got to have some kind of discipline to this.
Yeah. And he said, well, I do the mean, super mean. I said, well, all right. If you were the daddy and you had to discipline you for what you did, what would you do? And here's what happens. If you've got pretty good kids, and you may have some that say, well, I do nothing.
Well, that is not an option, son. If you want to go down that road. So I said, what would you do if you were the daddy? And he says, well, I guess I wouldn't let you watch TV for a month. I'm like, good night.
And that's kind of extreme to me. I mean, you know, a month? And so I said, well, you know, I guess I could do that. But what if I say you can't watch TV for a day, and you have to clean the garage, and you have to study in your room for the next four days?
Might be okay. And so we just kind of walked our way through it, evaluating what they've done. And see, here's the thing, folks. Not every act of disobedience needs to have it nuked. Yeah, there's some that, you know, hey, that's like up there that, you know, we're on the verge here of world conflict.
But there are others that are just kind of down here. You know, my wife, being the typical mother, will sometimes be really angry. In fact, not now, but when they were home, she'd say, you know, they don't put up their clothes, they don't wash their clothes.
You know, they just don't. And I said, you know, I know. And I said, you know, the folks down the street, they got it bad, too. Their kids are dealing drugs. She said, what does that mean? I said, well, you know, their kids are dealing drugs, and yours won't put up their clothes.
I said, you know, honey, she'd fire back. I said, let's just try to keep it in perspective, okay? Dealing drugs, getting drunk, having sex, murdering people, that's like super bad. Not putting up your clothes, not good, but not super bad, okay?
Now, I want them to put up their clothes, and I'll work on that for you. I will. I'll work on the cleaning the room, picking up the clothes. We will do these things, but just kind of, you know, keep it in perspective.
Now, do you discipline them for not putting up their clothes? Yes. But do you nuke them? No. Keep it in perspective, all right? He says, allow the child to express his own viewpoint. Restore fellowship after discipline.
Remember the goal of discipline. This is so good. It's not outward conformity, but inward conviction. And then he says, study the Lord as the supreme example of the greatest disciplinarian. And so there is some wisdom to walk in as we are clear that we're trusting the Lord and we're going to conduct our child-rearing with His wisdom.
But then he moves into verse 3 and verse 4 and speaks in terms of our being committed to the ones that we love, and he says there, first of all, in verse 3, your wife, your wife what? Your wife will be, how will your wife will be?
Your wife will be this if you fear the Lord. Your wife will be this if you walk in His wisdom. Your wife will be like this if you are blessed in what you do. So if you are the man of God that you need to be, then those blessings naturally flow out to your mate and to your kids.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house. She will flourish. Guys, let me ask you a question. How many of you have as a commitment of your life to help your wife be successful? You say, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
That paradigm shift, paradigm shift, paradigm shift. She's supposed to help me be successful. Really? Is it just one way? You're not supposed to love her, lead her, guide her in such a way that she becomes successful?
I know what the problem is. You're putting the wrong definition to the word success. You're thinking I mean success by worldly standards. No, I mean success by godly standards. And how many of you have as a commitment of your life to make your wife a successful woman?
You love her and care for her in such a way that she is set free to soar for the glory of God. Do you love her in that kind of way? He says that if you are this wise man, she will be like a fruitful vine within your home.
She will flourish. But then so will your children. Behold, he says, your children will be like olive shoots around your table. In other words, they too will flourish. They too will be fruitful. They too will soar and soar well for the glory of God.
But that again means that you as the man of the home are making an investment in the life of your wife. You're making an investment in the life of your children. You are there. And you are there to love them and lead them and guide them well.
Again, I know I don't need to chase this very far and I don't have time. But this is what is part and parcel of the tragedy of divorce. This is what is part and parcel of the tragedy of a home. Forty percent of them where daddy is not present.
A couple of years ago I read an article. It's a little lengthy but it's worth sharing as we move toward our conclusion this afternoon now. It was put in a book by James Dobson and it was a letter that a young lady wrote later in life to her father.
Listen to what she wrote very quickly. Quote, dear daddy, it's late at night and I'm sitting in the middle of my bed writing to you. I've wanted to talk with you so many times during the past few weeks but there never seems to be any time when we're alone.
Daddy, I realize you're dating someone else now and I know you and mom may never get back together. That's terribly hard to accept especially knowing that you may never come back home or be an everyday dad to me and Brian again.
But I want you to at least understand what's going on in our lives. And don't think that mom asked me to write this. She didn't. She doesn't know I'm writing and neither does Brian. I just want to share with you what I've been thinking.
Daddy, I feel like our family has been riding in a nice car for a long time. You know, the kind you always like to have as a company car. It's the kind that has every extra inside and not a scratch on the outside.
But over the years, the car has developed some problems. It's smoking a lot. The wheels wobble. The seat covers are ripped. The car's been really hard to drive or ride because of all the shaking and squeaking.
But it's still a great automobile or at least it could be. In fact, with a little work, it could still run for years. You see the analogy she's drawing, don't you? Since we got the car, Brian and I have been in the back seat while you and mom have been up front.
We feel really secure with you driving and mom beside you. But last month, mom was at the wheel. It was nighttime and we had just turned the corner near our house. Suddenly, we all looked up and saw another car out of control heading straight for us.
Mom tried to swerve out of the way, but the other car smashed into us. The impact sent us flying off the road and crashing into a lamppost. The thing is, dad, just before we were hit, we could see that you were driving the other car.
And we saw something else. We saw sitting next to you another woman. It was such a terrible accident that we were all rushed to the emergency ward. But when we asked where you were, no one knew. We're still not really sure where you are or if you were hurt or if you need help.
Mom was really hurt. She was thrown into the steering wheel and broke several ribs. One of them punctured her lungs and it almost pierced her heart. When the car wrecked, the back door smashed into Brian.
He is covered with cuts from the broken glass and he shattered his arm, which is now in a cast. But that's not the worst. He's still in so much pain and shock that he doesn't want to talk or play with anyone.
As for me, I was thrown from the car. I was stuck out into the cold for a long time with my right leg broken. As I lay there, I couldn't move and didn't know what was wrong with Mom and Brian. I was hurting so much myself, I couldn't help them.
There have been times since that night when I wondered if any of us would make it. Even though we're getting a little better, we're all still in the hospital. The doctors say I'll need a lot of therapy on my leg.
And I know they can help me get better, but I wish it were you who was helping me instead of them. The pain is so bad, but what's even worse is that we all miss you so much. Every day we wait to see if you're going to come visit us in the hospital, and every day you don't come.
I know it's over, but my heart would explode with joy if somehow I could look up and see you walk into my room. At night when the hospital is really quiet, they push Brian and me into Mom's room and we all talk about you.
We talk about how much we loved driving with you and how we wish you were with us now. Are you alright? Are you hurting? Do you need us like we need you? If you need me, I'm here and I love you. Your daughter, Kimberly.
You see, that is a parable that describes so tragically what so many are experiencing today. And if Daddy is not there, and by the way, I'll say this again in the morning, you can be there physically and still not really be there.
There will be no fruitful vine in the house, your wife, and there will be no olive shoots around the table, your children. But if you are there and you are really there, then all that fruitfulness in the life of your wife and kids is going to be self-evident.
Finally, he does tell us to be concerned where we live. I do believe that ultimately our nation will rise or fall on the back of our families, and that our families will rise or fall on the back of men.
And so he says there in verse 4, Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you from Zion. May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life. He's simply looking to the capital city of his day, of his nation, and saying, I realize that the blessings of the nation lie in terms of God blessing men.
And then he says, May you even see your children's children. Peace be upon Jerusalem. Not only is he saying, I pray that you live long enough to see your grandkids. He's actually saying, I pray that you may see your grandkids flourish like your children for the glory of God.
I want to close with this question and this great answer. What does a family legacy look like? What does it look like if you have indeed been this kind of man who's lived out this kind of life before his wife, his kids, and his grandkids?
Well, I'll give you a closing example. In 1900, a man named A .E. Winship studied what happened to 1 ,400 descendants of a guy named Jonathan and a woman named Sarah Edwards. Jonathan Edwards, as you hopefully know, 1703 to 1758, God used him to launch what we know as the Great Awakening in America.
No debate, even the liberals at Yale and Princeton and Harvard will tell you the greatest theological mind ever produced in America on American soil was Jonathan Edwards. Well, in 1900, having studied his descendants, this is what he learned about the legacy left by Jonathan Edwards.
They had founded his descendants 13 colleges. There were 65 professors, 100 lawyers, a dean of a law school, 30 judges, 66 physicians, and another dean of a medical school. 80 holders of public office, including, these are all his descendants, three U .S. senators, mayors of three large cities, governors of three states, a vice president of the United States, and a controller of the United States Treasury.
His descendants had written more than 135 books. They had edited 18 journals and periodicals, and many had entered the ministry. Over 100 were missionaries and others served on major missions boards. So, Winship said, and I quote, many large banks, banking houses, insurance companies have been directed by them.
They have been owners or superintendents of large coal mines, of large iron plants, vast oil interests, and silver mines. There is scarcely any great American industry that has not had one of this family among its chief promoters.
Indeed, here is an example of a man greatly blessed to the Lord. What an honor it would be to follow in his footsteps. It may indeed be that many of us, as a result of this weekend, would determine before God, like him, by your grace and for your glory.
I will be a godly man who will be a blessing to my wife, who will be a blessing to my children, and if you are so kind as to bring it to pass, I will even be a blessing to my nation years and years and years and years and years after I am dead and gone and with you in heaven.
Father, I thank you so much for the wisdom of Psalm 127 and 128, and I thank you, Lord, for the incredible example of Jonathan Edwards. That he would turn out such a legacy is mind-boggling. And yet, evidently, his children saw something in him that moved them this way.
And his grandkids saw that in their fathers, and his great-grandkids saw that in theirs, and it just continued to go in that kind of direction. Lord, would you do that again? Might you, even in this church, raise up men who will so love you and so stand for you that they will leave that kind of lasting legacy for your glory?
Lord, it's not easy to be a man of God. It requires radical faith in a great God and radical dependence upon him. So, Lord, may we realize that apart from you, we can do nothing, but through Christ, we can do all things.
And so, Lord, I pray for your blessing upon each of the marriages and each of the homes that is represented here this day, that we indeed might show this cynical and skeptical world that Jesus Christ really does make a difference.
We ask and pray this in his name. Amen and amen.