Thou Shall Not Gossip

Apologia Studios

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So, that means if somebody ever comes to me and tells me something, I am not allowed, as a follower of Jesus, to accept that as true, no matter how close my relationship with this person, unless, of course, it is established on two to three witnesses.

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God says, 2 Corinthians chapter 12, it must be on the basis of two to three witnesses.

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So, we are not permitted, according to God, to charge people with anything based upon assumptions or hearsay.

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We're not permitted to do so. So how do we manage it? First point, if somebody comes to share something with me that isn't about me, it's about somebody else, maybe it's an accusation, maybe it's a complaint.

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I remember the standard of God is this, one, I cannot accept an accusation unless it's on the basis of two to three witnesses.

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Paul tells Timothy, receive no accusation against an elder unless it's on the basis of two to three witnesses.

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That's not just for elders, that's for everybody. The next thing I remember when somebody tries to share something with me is

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Proverbs 18, 17. One person's case sounds true until another one comes to examine them.

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So, what do I do as a brother or a sister in the body of Christ when gossip starts to begin?

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Strife, discord, gossip, when it comes up, what ought I to do out of love for God and love for this person?

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Lovingly stop them. Can I, and let's just be real frank for a moment here with each other.

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That's hard. It is. Let's just be honest with each other. Someone we love, that we're close to, starts to share something with us about another person in the body that we don't really have any right to hear.

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Maybe it's a baseless accusation, maybe it's assumptions. And the problem, let's be honest, and ladies, let's be honest, is if you're sitting with women that you truly love and you care about and one of your sisters that you love and you're devoted to starts sharing something with you about somebody else, you love this woman so much you feel an obligation to love her and to be an ear for her.

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But the Bible says that's actually sin, it's injustice, because here's the thing. If this sister has something against another sister, then what does

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Christ command us to do in a situation where there's conflict between one sister and another? What's it say?

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Matthew 18, we were just there. What's it say? Go to them what? Privately. Privately. So if there's a conflict between two brothers or two sisters,

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I shouldn't even hear about it. It should go to that person.

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So maybe you should say this to the person who's sharing, hey I love you so much, I care for you so much. It sounds like you're really bothered by this.

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Have you gone to them yet to talk to them directly? Because I don't really think this is for my ears. You should go talk to them.

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Let's talk about something else because I don't really feel like we're loving them right right now. But I want to encourage you to go talk to them. That's how we can stop that.

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Third point, or second point, are you the victim? If there's something that you're sharing with somebody, here's the question to ask.

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Very important question to ask. If you're sharing something with somebody about somebody else, ask yourself this question, am

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I the victim here? Am I the victim? So I'm talking about this person and something that's going on with them or their interaction with somebody else,

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I have to ask the question as I'm sharing it, am I the victim? And if I'm not the victim,

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I have no earthly right speaking about it. Because that's something that's between those people.

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And I will settle down the strife and the discord by not adding wood to that fire.

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Am I the victim? Now here's the thing, what if I am the victim? Well what does

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Jesus command us with if I'm the victim of another person's sin? What do we say? We go to them what?

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Privately. Ask this question, third point, is this about me?

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I'm sharing something. Is it about me? No? Then stop telling people.

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Number four, what if you need help? What if something has happened and you actually need help?

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Some sin, something serious and you need help, you're just not sure how to go about getting help or resolving this situation.

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There's some aspect to it that makes it kind of confusing. You're not quite sure how to relate it or how to get help.

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If you need help, then I would say wisdom would be to come to your elders so that they can be wise biblical judges and mediators in the midst of it and watch this, they can protect it and you.

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It may be actually so serious that you need your elders to come speak to it right away or it may be something that your elders tell you, you know godly wisdom is that this is between them and you should really stop talking about it.

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And we're not going to receive it ourselves and we're certainly not going to share it with others. So, I would say those points.

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Number one, someone shares it, lovingly stop them. Number two, are you the victim? Have you gone to the person?

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Number three, is this about me? No, stop talking about it. Number four, do

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I need help? Go to your elders so that they may be wise judges. And I'll finish on this point here.

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Open your Bibles to Romans. I want you to have a place to sit in as a church. Here it is,

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Romans chapter 12, verse 9.

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After Paul preaches the gospel, explains and unpacks it, this way he says to us as a church, let love be genuine.

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Do you know some translations? How many of you guys have a translation that says let love be without hypocrisy? That's what it means.

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Hypocrisy is hubakrite, it means play acting, you put on a mask. You come in and you pretend like you love someone and you really don't have any love for them.

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It's fake. You ever have someone like that in your life, where they're like just flattering? They say things that just aren't true?

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You don't trust them? You don't know if their love's real? People around you that you just don't know if their affections are genuine for you?

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Paul says, let your love be without hypocrisy, let it be without play acting, stop pretending. Don't flatter people and say things that aren't true and just pretend to be loving.

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He says let love be without play acting. Let it be without hypocrisy.

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Let it be genuine. Abhor, abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good.

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Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Honor each other.

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Honor each other. Outdo each other in honoring the person next to you. Not honoring yourself and seeking your own gain and popularity within the church or something like that.

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Outdo each other in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal.

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Don't be lazy in zeal. Be fervent in spirit. Serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope.

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Be patient in tribulation. Be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

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Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice.

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Weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty but associate with the lowly.

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Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.

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If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves but leave it to the wrath of God for it is written, vengeance is mine.

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All repays, says the Lord. To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

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For by doing so, you'll heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.

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My heart's desire as a pastor is that God would fill this church with a depth of affection, a depth of love and mercy for one another so that when the world looks into what

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God is doing in us, the world truly sees Jesus. And I don't want to be pithy and Christian t -shirt about that.

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I mean genuinely, I hope to the Lord that by the time you and I go to lay down to be with the

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Lord, that people will have been able to look into the life of this body and they see

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Jesus. They see genuine affections. They see a church that hates the injustice of gossip, that hates slander and backbiting and all those things.

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And they see a church that has genuine affection, which means, primarily, can I just say this, what

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I need to work on and what you all need to work on, all of us together need to work on is this, repentance.

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Repentance, because we are so full of pride. Can we admit that?

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Can we admit that we are full of pride and we try to outdo the person next to us?

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Women versus women, men versus men, what's the conflict there? What is it? Is it a matter of justice?

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No, it's sin. It's pride. The strife and the injustice of gossip, that happens because of pride and sin.

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I'm trying to raise myself above another image bearer of God. I want to be the one that's highlighted. I want to be the one that's seen as strong and mighty and sound, and I want to be the one that's the center of attention.

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And this person, I'm going to bring them down. I want them lower than me. I want to say this, the first thing we have to do is get on our knees before God and say,

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God, break my heart. Break my heart, destroy my pride, allow me to see my brothers and sisters as you do.

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Let me serve this person like Jesus serves the church. What does He do for the church?

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He gives His life for the church. He sacrifices all of His being for the good of another.

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If I want to truly be like Christ, I have to serve His people the way that He does. I pray that God makes us like that.