Ephesians 5 (part 2)

Bethlehem Bible Church

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God has a plan He works out that plan in and through the person of the

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Lord Jesus Christ, and he does it to the praise of his glory

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God has a plan he's sovereign over everything you see words in even the book of Ephesians about choosing

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Predestining And of course you see throughout the entire book the Lord Jesus Christ at the centerpiece how he is the one who makes peace

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And why does he do it chapter 1 verse 6 to the praise of his glory? Why does he do it chapter 1 verse 12 to the praise of his glory?

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Why does he do it in chapter 1 verse 14 any ideas to the praise of his glory? And in this great plan that God has that he works out through Christ to the praise of his glory

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It doesn't just stop with our salvation although That's wonderful that it includes our salvation to be forgiven

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Can you imagine to be forgiven of all your sins and Christian you have been? To think that God in eternity past chose me

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He didn't have to choose me But he chose me and he gave a son to die for me and he gave a spirit to dwell in me

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That would be enough But then when you think of God's plan it also includes through Christ to the praise of his glory

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Bringing Jews and Gentiles together in one body called the church

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It also includes God in Jesus to the praise of his glory it includes

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Paul the Apostle being sent to preach us the mysteries of Christ It also includes how to live your daily life

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You know that's part of God's plan that he works out in Christ to the praise of his glory including

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Marriages husbands and wives it's all been planned by God It's in Christ Jesus, and it's to the praise of his glory today

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If you'll take your Bibles and turn to Ephesians chapter 5 We are in a wonderful section that is the overflow and the outflow of God's great plan in Christ Jesus to the praise of his glory including husbands and wives

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You know as you know we've been going through Ephesians Chapter by chapter two sermons a chapter

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I'm gonna give you kind of a little hint, and I think I have a prerogative to do this

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There are probably 17 verses in our section today and nine for next week, and so if my

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If my introduction next week is a little longer to include some of the stuff in chapter 5 that doesn't count against my two sermons

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A chapter okay, just to let you know Paul starts off with this book, and it is praise it is it is three two one ignition

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I remember in 69 at school watching the Apollo Apollo What's it called not space shuttle

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Apollo what rocket? Whatever up it goes, and you just the countdown three two one ignition

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You can see the flames underneath that spaceship. Just you could feel it I'm sure if you were there you could you could sense it feel it

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Paul starts off that way and everything is a God word praise So many sermons so many times we read the

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Bible. We're trying to find out where we are where's Waldo in this chapter It's not to be found really except secondarily it's all about the triune

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God and Paul Does what Lloyd -jones says? he holds us face to face with God and what

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God is and what God has done and Paul emphasizes throughout the glory and greatness of God the

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God the Eternal One God the Everlasting God over all and the indescribable glory of God.

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That's the book of Ephesians And so we've just been going through chapter by chapter by chapter. We see

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Paul's pattern. He'll praise. He'll pray he'll exhort He'll praise he'll pray and exhort

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Today we come to chapter 5 verses 18 through 33

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I've made a simple outline. It is alliterated and so here's the outline Spirit -filled

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Christians, that's point one submitting wives that's point two and Sacrificial husbands, that's point three spirit -filled

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Christians submitting wives and Sacrificial husbands and so far. I think

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I have all your attention It's like last week right you just see oh, this is the revealed

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Word of God What's going to happen because we're Christians? How should we live because this is part of God's plan?

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This is because of Christ Jesus to praise in his glory. How should we live and here's how we should live?

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We should live in light of God's grace with gratitude responding as spirit -filled

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Christians submitting their wives and Sacrificial husbands and today's going to be the exact opposite of everything you hear

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Preached in the world if you're here, and you're visiting if you've never been to a church. You're gonna hear things that seem antiquated cave man ish

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Troglodyte ish is that a word it is now But it is God's Word and is because he made us and he created us

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And he knows what's best and he wants as the fruit of the gospel in your life Because of the

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Spirit of God dwelling in you Ephesians 3 for you to be spirit -filled submitting wives and sacrificial husbands

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Well, let's pick it up in chapter 5 verse 18 and let's talk about this first section.

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Maybe we can pick it up in verse 17 might be best Paul has been talking a lot about walking chapter 5 verse 2 walk in love as Christ loved us

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He's talking about walking in verse 15 look carefully how you Walk, and now he wants us to understand things in light of that walking in Christ Jesus.

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He says in chapter 5 verse 17 therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the

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Lord is Now when people read that they automatically think to themselves What's God's will for my life, and should

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I marry Jane or Jim or should I work for? Hanover or what's God's will if you go back to chapter 1 verse 9 we understand what

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God's will is What is this will that we're supposed to understand Paul says don't be foolish But understand what the will of the

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Lord is is this the will of God for my life personally where I'm to live what car? I'm to drive

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No, it's chapter 1 verse 9 and 10 We understand God's will where it says in verse 9 making known to us the mystery of his will

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According to his purpose Which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time to unite all things in him things in heaven and things on earth instead of this

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Self -centered what's God's will for my life although God does have a will for your life. This is much grander.

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This is a cop I Feel like I have a little pause you think that's my battery Did you know

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I used to sell Duracell batteries I? did So when we saw energizer displays sometimes we disposed of them

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But I wasn't a Christian then so what does that have to do with anything nothing?

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When you think to yourself, I don't want to be stupid or foolish or moronic when it comes to God's will

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What is God's will when if you step back you think oh, it's everything in Christ Jesus.

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This is this cosmic This is this global thing that's going on and in light of who God is and what he's doing putting everything together again

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Not just the cosmos, but Jews and Gentiles. I think I should live in light of that And then he says in verse 18, and this is where we run into our spirit -filled

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Christian section Do not get drunk with wine for that is debauchery

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But be filled with the spirit There's our command. We actually have two commands there.

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Don't get drunk with wine for that is debauchery, but be filled the spirit Maybe I should have a you want me to have the secondary mic up That one okay run

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I Remember when I was able to run look at that All right, let's go

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I give you that This does not count against my time for the sermon today

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I Have an impossible task. How can you teach this entire chapter?

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Section but we are going to do our best and again if you you say oh that makes me want to study this more

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That's one of the purposes of this morning Paul says in verse 18 do not get drunk with wine for that's debauchery.

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That's Wastefulness that's that's like a Luke 15 language with the prodigal son just loose living you just squander it all

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Don't do that, but instead be filled with the spirit every Christian here is to be filled with the spirit now when

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I think of filled I think sometimes of cups and water and fill up my cup

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Lord Here's a liter of water, and it's filled up But there's another way to think of filling you can hear people who are up here about people who are filled with jealousy

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Filled with rage they're influenced by things and so as alcohol influences us you see it right there

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Do not get drunk with wine that's debauchery as alcohol influences that you can even actually drive under the influence as Alcohol influences you ought to be influenced by the

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Spirit of God He's not talking about a one -time fill up a charismatic experience an

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Ongoing dear Christian you ought to be filled with the Spirit And if I said to you it's a command and it is if I said to you on your mark get set go begin your filling

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What would you do? What is spirit filled living? Well, I can tell you the results of spirit filled living.

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Do you see them in verses 19 and following? Spirit -filled Christians because of the work of the triune

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God they address one another in Psalms They sing and make melody in their heart

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They give thanks always for everything and you see it in verse 21

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They submit to one another When a person is spirit -filled you can recognize it because the way they talk to each other

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The way they sing the way they give thanks and the way they submit That's the result of the spirit filling all of a sudden you see people and by the way

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Wouldn't you like to be around people like that? Always talking about the Lord singing thankful Submitting those are the kind of people

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I'd like to be around Matter of fact remember what he's doing in chapter 4 5 & 6

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How do you have church unity one faith one hope one baptism one Lord one

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God what contributes to church unity? I'll tell you what contributes to church unity a spirit -filled person because the way they talk to each other the way they sing under the

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Lord the way they thank the Lord and submit to one another those are the kind of people Paul's after a spirit -filled person has those fruits

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Well, there's a sister epistle and if you turn to Colossians chapter 3 you will see with me

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Something that will unlock this for you We have so many people telling us to be spirit -filled and come up to the front and get slain or get

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Baptized in the spirit we are to be spirit -filled Christians. What does that mean? How do we get spirit -filled? Well Colossians chapter 3

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Really really helps us this twin this Siamese twin epistle of the book of Ephesians Colossians 3 16 let the

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Word of Christ dwell in you richly When you see someone who's got the Word of Christ dwelling in them richly, what does their life look like?

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answer teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God and Whatever you do in word or deed do everything in the name of the

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Lord Jesus Giving thanks to God the Father through him and then he talks about wives submitting

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Isn't that fascinating a word filled person talks to one another in Psalms they

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Sing unto the Lord they give thanks and they submit. Wait a second The results of a word filled person are the same results as a spirit filled person

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Conclusion a spirit filled person is one in whom the Spirit of God Word dwells in them richly.

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Do you want to be spirit filled? You'll have the Word of God dwell in you richly

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So let's go back to Ephesians chapter 5. This is not something that we can muster up on our own

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This is the Word of God hidden in our heart. This is men and women Reading God's Word hearing it preached on Sunday.

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I heard a story about a Bible that wrote its own diary of its owners Use of it

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Here's the Bible's diary January 15th been resting for a week a few nights after the first of the year my owner opened me and no more another

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New Year's resolution gone awry February 3rd owner picked me up and rushed off to Sunday school

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February 23rd cleaning day was dusted and put back in my place April 2nd busy day owner had to present the lesson at Church Society meeting quickly looked up a lot of references

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May 5th In grandma's lap again a comfortable place May 9th.

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She let a tear fall on John 14 verses 1 through 3 May 10th grandma's gone back in my place

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May 20th baby born they wrote his name on one of my pages July 1st packed in a suitcase off for a vacation

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July 20th Still in the suitcase July 25th home again quite a journey though.

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I don't see why I went August 16th cleaned again and put in a prominent place the pastor is to be here for dinner

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August 20th owner wrote grandma's death in my family record. He left his extra pair of glasses between my pages

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December 31st owner just found his glasses wonder if he will make any resolutions about me for the new year

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Here's the good news Bethlehem Bible Church This is not talking about you because you are Bible readers you want the

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Spirit of God to dwell in you richly through the Word of God I Love preaching to a church that loves the

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Word of God And so when the Bible commands you to be spirit filled it is Commanding you to be filled with the

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Word of God to let the Word of Christ specifically dwell in you richly And then how will you respond look at the results?

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I mentioned them, but let's talk about them for a few minutes Addressing one another verse 19 in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs

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This is just how we talk to each other and by the way in the Psalms who's the theme of the

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Psalms hymns spiritual songs This the Lord Jesus of course when you read the

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Psalms even our Lord Jesus told us that the

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Psalms spoke of him These are people that love Psalms. They love hymns.

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What was a hymn back in the days of pagans? They would sing and eulogize a God and here

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We've stolen that from them, and we have songs of course sung unto the Lord Jesus directly praising

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And then you have spiritual songs the Greek is owed. It's it's an ode It's a spiritual song where you're talking in a very personal way about who

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God is and what he has done When the Word of God dwells in you richly how do you talk to other Christians? You talk to other

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Christians about Scripture and who Jesus is and songs of your heart and what he's done What else do you do?

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The second result of being Spirit -filled and having the Word of God dwell in you richly a word of Christ is you sing

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Look at that verse 19 singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord And this is corporate worship by the way.

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This is corporate worship where Christians sing Christianity is a singing religion, and you make melody in your heart.

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It doesn't mean you're just silently in your heart singing It could be that but it's to the Lord Come to church, and you love to sing it has nothing in here about I don't like the style of the songs

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That's too slow too fast too much drums. Not enough drums too much plexiglass not enough plexiglass

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When the Word is in you and you realize I am a forgiven person. I have the hope of heaven I didn't merit heaven.

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I didn't deserve heaven. I know what I deserved I get to go to heaven, and it's just this overflow what you put in preaching to the

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Lord's day of course you receive God's Word Supplementary you read the Word of God, and you just talk to other

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Christians about that I mean you can see what it replaces it replaces gossip and slander and complaining and grumbling

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No, no that would not be the fruit of the Spirit at all the love of the fruit of the Spirit's love and joy and peace

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What else do Christians do when they have the word just overflowing? verse 20

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Giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ Christians are thankful people they realize

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I am forgiven. I have redemption I can stand before the God of the universe on that judgment day, and he will not say guilty

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I am guilty, but he'll say not guilty because Jesus took my guilt Jesus took my shame

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I'm reconciled Chris Osterman said Christians should even give.

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Thanks for hell as a warning to keep him in the right way and What does this do for church unity well to ask the question is to answer it

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Giving thanks in the Greek is Eucharist. Oh You know some people they go to communion.

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They have the Eucharist. It just means to give. Thanks. I love to go out and have dinner here in New England and then pray and If you're in the south and you pray of course people you know the the waiter or waitress will stand and let you finish

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In New England, they're like do you lose your contact? No Harry Ironside he was in a really crowded restaurant and a man approached him and said could

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I could I eat with you? He said sure then Ironside bowed his head The other man

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Said to him. Do you have a headache? Ironside said no, I don't is there something wrong with your food.

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No. I was simply thanking God as I always do before I eat Oh, you're one of those aren't you well?

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I want you to know I never give Thanks, I earn my money by the sweat of my brow and don't have to give thanks to anybody when

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I eat I just start right in Ironside said huh? You're just like my dog.

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That's what he does too. I mean you read the

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Psalms I thank God with my whole heart. I will give thanks to thee forever With my mouth,

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I will give thanks abundantly and Then also when people are filled by the

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Spirit and when they have the Word of Christ dwelling in them richly You speak you sing you think and here you submit

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Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ This just means to line up under it's a military term there are generals and there are

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Colonels and there are light colonels and there are sergeants and there are corporals and I just voluntarily put myself underneath The leadership the government the church leaders people who are in authority my boss.

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I just arranged myself I I realize that nobody's better than I am But since I'm a child of God and he has bought me and sought me and redeemed me with his blood

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Well, God wants me to line up under because he doesn't like anarchy. Okay, it's easy for me. I submit

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Spirit -filled Christians are Christians who have the Word of Christ dwell in them richly Well, let's move to the second s today for our

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Outline and that is submitting wives submitting wives and Sacrificial husbands you will notice in your text verses 22 through 33

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Talk about this Before I address the wives in particular marriage, of course is under assault in the church and in the government

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We want a healthy church And how do you have healthy churches? I think it starts with healthy marriages there was a seven -year -old she saw

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Cinderella and And The neighbor was asking this little girl about Cinderella and she said well what happened and she said

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I know what happens at the end What asked the girl Cinderella and the prince lived happily ever after?

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To which the little girl answered. Oh, no, they didn't they got married And I thought the cynical girl sometimes

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Know the truth Paul writes this book Ephesians chapter 6 verse 22 says to encourage the church

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How do you encourage the church? Well, the church has married people in it. How do you encourage them?

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He's gonna talk about submitting wives and sacrificial husbands. I just typed in marriage advice online

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Here's some of the things that they say online Assume the best of one another Communicate respectfully always be flexible.

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I typed in another Google search on how to have a great marriage Celebrate the process learn to speak at one learn at least to speak one new language

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Guard your marriage maximize your spouse's potential. I typed in another okay

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What does this website say show affection date frequently spend time with your children and then

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I did one other fourth Search and it says be courteous to your wife. Don't despise her provide for her

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Regarding husbands be hospitable to his relatives. Don't betray his faith I thought those were kind of good.

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I mean, they're not too bad The thing is the first one is a secular list The second one is an evangelical list

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The third one is a Mormon list and the fourth one is a Buddhist list And what's similar to every one of them is just law.

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It's just to do it's just practical What will Paul do in this section in verses 22 through 33?

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Everything's bathed in cloaked in comes out of this context of Jesus in the church

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Did you know there's hardly any commands in the New Testament for husbands? I can get I can think of two off the top of my top of my head.

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Love your wives Don't be embittered toward them What else can I find?

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Well for women I can find this submit to your husband's respect your husband What is going on here?

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Don't you think there'd be so much more information? What Paul will do is give law give commands give guidance, of course

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But it's all couched in Christ and the church because Christ is loving the church the church is submitting to Christ and everything has to do with that so most every verse here between 22 and 33 has to do with Jesus and The church and you're not going to see all this marriage advice

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Like laugh it up and pay attention to little things and give one another space and spend time

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Intimately and all these other things. No, that's not what Paul is going to do Those laws apart from grace apart from chapters one, two, three, four and five are just Metallic in my ears.

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They don't mean anything And I can prove it here very soon That you don't even have to tell an unbeliever

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Husband you should love your wife They know it it's built in their system, but Paul won't let it be here

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Husbands love your wives is what? Christ loved the church. It's completely different I mean,

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I read some advice this week for marriages If you want your marriage to sizzle with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it and whenever you're right shut up I mean, let's just close in prayer.

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I guess that's marriage advice And isn't it fascinating when you go to a marriage conference most of all the conferences?

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Husbands, here's what you should do. Why is what you should do? I'm saying some of that's probably good as many of us don't have parents that were

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Christians to teach us But here it's all cloaked in bathed in immersed in baptized in the language of Christ in the church

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So let's talk to the ladies first and then the husband This is not going to be exhaustive, but it will be a start submitting wives

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And before I even read this verse verse 22, this is not a verse for husbands

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Jammed down the throats of wives This is like a sermon Paul has this letter.

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It's going to be read to the congregation. And so now it's like me Paul Addressing the wives wives.

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Let me tell you what would be a Christ honoring Marriage, let me talk to you then we'll talk to the husband

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So the first thing I notice is this is God speaking to the wives and he gives you number one this command submit to your own husbands as To the

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Lord, I Know what some of you might be saying. There's not really a Greek imperative here

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It's carried over from the previous verse if you want a Greek imperative I'll give you one Colossians 318 wives submit to your own husbands as is fitting into the

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Lord under the Lord. I Know this isn't popular. I know people don't like this me

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Tarzan you Jane Dominating Sometimes my wife and I will listen to that old soundtrack

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Annie get your gun Remember Annie said to her husband to be I promise to love and honor but not obey

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I'm not gonna sing it, but that's what she said You can remember when Andrew married

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Fergie years and years ago She was supposed to say to the groom. I promise to love honor and obey

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She said it but her face said the opposite if you remember you want to know why marriages are in the state

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They're in if they're bad because wives don't submit and husbands don't love. It's just that simple

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So what is Paul saying? He is saying like when we submit to one another Wives are to voluntarily subordinate themselves to line themselves up and under I'm gonna submit my control and my authority and myself and I will place myself under my husband

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Paul does not say here Wives are lesser, of course

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Galatians chapter 3 verse 28 says you're equal in Christ Many of you like me have wives that are more godly more humble more.

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Holy has nothing to do with that at all But you're gonna see in this passage that Paul's going to rescue and he has to actually he's going to liberate women

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The Jewish culture I own sheep and I own goats and I own my wife. That was

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Jewish culture Sadly too often the Greek culture. I don't want my wife to be seen or heard stay indoors and obey me

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That was the Greek culture and the Roman culture no rights for a woman subject to her husband treated like a child essentially

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Paul's going to liberate he doesn't say you're subservient. He doesn't say you're lesser He actually doesn't even say obey.

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He keeps the obey for children There's a ranking and ranking of submit myself is a lot different than obey obey is for children submission is for wives

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And wives we know her to be helpers You say well, I don't know. Is that demeaning? Do you know God is called helper in the

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Old Testament easier is a helper. God is my helper here I raised my

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Ebenezer God was a helper to Israel Submission is a command, but it has nothing to do with person

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He was created to be Adams helper Matthew Henry said in the well -known statement. The woman was made out of rib

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Made of a rib out of the side of Adam not made out of his head to rule over him Nor out of his feet to be trampled upon him

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But out of his side to be equal with him under his arm to be protected and near his heart to be loved

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That's the idea. I guess I could ask you wives. Do you submit to your husband? Do you willingly just say because of who

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I am in Christ and what Jesus has done for me I will gladly do that. I mean if somebody said to you

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I'm gonna pay for your college Here's a hundred grand to pay for your college. And if they ever ask you a favor after that, what would you do?

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Well, you'd probably say I'd be glad to do it. I mean times a billion God hasn't paid for your college.

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He's rescued you He's redeemed you and now he says for your good and for my glory tuck yourself underneath the leadership of your husband

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Wives are taught this in Titus 3 What do you teach young women to do to be sensible pure workers at home kind being subject to their own husbands?

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That the Word of God may not be dishonored You say yes, but it's been abused.

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Therefore. I don't want to do it just because something has been abused As our Kent he said just because your husband sometimes walks around the house like Jabba the

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Hutt ordering you It's still in the Bible Women and men are both divine image bearers, but there's an order in the family

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Women can pray to the Lord women can walk faithfully unto the Lord women can teach the

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Bible to children and other Ladies women have the same responsibilities to love God and love their neighbor

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Obviously, but women's tendency remember back at the fall

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Chapter 3 of Genesis was to dominate the husband to rule the husband And Paul wants to make sure that doesn't happen

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You say well, my husband has no qualifications for me to submit to him if he's called your husband he does

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Peter says in the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are Disobedient to the

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Word they may be one without a word by the behavior of their wives

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You are not ladies second -class citizens You have dignity and honor you are not a doormat you can counsel you can talk you can pray you can discuss you can debate

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But you're called to tuck yourself under and submit here even in Peter.

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It says submit even if they're not Christians That's fascinating Yes, but I'm having a hard time submitting look back at chapter 5 verse 22 so be subject your own husbands as to the

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Lord oh That's one of the ways I can demonstrate if I'm a lady my submission to the

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Lord Jesus is to submit I'm gonna kind of look past my husband and see the Lord because I'm ultimately doing this for the

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Lord not my husband I don't want to ignore my husband.

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That's like ignoring my Savior. I don't want to underpin my husband's authority That's like undermining Christ. I don't want to nag my husband to do something because that's like nagging

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Christ. That's the idea And everybody has leaders and here we are one flesh with our wives, and there has to be a leader and a follower

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Verse 23 look at the basis of submission For the husband is head of the wife even as Christ is head of the church see that's the tie -in here

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This is why it's not moralism This is not why it's a TED talk even as Christ is head of the church his body and is himself its

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Savior Of course the church when she's responding rightly she submits to the

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Lord willingly Gladly tucks herself under the Lord's provision and protection and care

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Chapel says God calls the church to arrange all her energies and abilities under the grand purpose of glorifying the

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Savior And that's the philosophy that women should have it's not suppression It's submission

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It's voluntary. It's free. It should be joyful And of course men need women it's not good for man to be alone, but I will make a helper suitable for him

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Verse 24 he repeats and reinforces now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands

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Finances child raising Everything hmm sure is quiet in here

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But husbands you're next if you think this is hard way to the next section Martha peace has a little section on Submission and she said do give your opinion wives.

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You are a helpmate Do appeal would you consider? But at the end of the day say to your husband whatever you decide.

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I'll do it wives you submit your husband's

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Joyfully in everything to the Lord you want a unified church. I'm gonna be a spirit -filled person

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It's not just oh I talk to others about Jesus. I sing unto the Lord I give thanks, and I submit to everybody else, but when it comes to my husband

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I know best of course we understand that's not true well now.

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Let's move to the husband's There's more to be said, but let's move to the husband's spirit -filled

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Christians submitting wives and Sacrificial husbands I Like Churchill for lots of reasons he was asked the question if he could be anyone else in the world who would it be and?

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Winston Churchill said mrs. Churchill second husband That's the idea here.

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I'm not saying submitting to a sinful leader wives is easy but this might be the harder task and By the way as we go through this husband's if you'd like to have a wife submit to you more

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It's all on you the loving husband Helps the wife submit

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This is the blueprint we will see because of this this is not women are lesser. This is not women are subjugated

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This is not women are are below us How are we to treat our wives who who gladly and joyfully submit and the model and the measure for this is

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Husbands, how does Jesus love the church verse 25?

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husbands rule your wives husbands

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Dominate your wives Husbands on the other hand it truly says love your wives

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How as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her? Agape love what's best for you at my cost?

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That's why I've called the section sacrificial and even that gave himself up for her If love doesn't seek its own first Corinthians 13, then it gives

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Jesus was wounded for our transgressions He was bit ruse for our iniquities the chastisement for our peace was upon her

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And so Jesus laid down his life Willingly joyfully for the betterment of the church and it's fascinating because the word church in the original language

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The word church is feminine. So here's Jesus laying down his life for the church, and it's a perfect mirror for the husband loving

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The wife so I don't really feel like this of course remember this has nothing to with feelings

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And if you look at Lord Jesus, it was not a feeling oriented obedience to the father. It was what

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I Love my father and I want to obey him and I want to please him All too often both men and women can say you know what?

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I just don't feel like it these commands submit and feel excuse me submit and love have nothing to do with feel

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Sacrificial love of a husband's care for his wife

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He gave in this is love not that we love God But that he loved us and sent his son to be the propitiation for our sins

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Chrysostom was known as the Golden Preacher, and he was lived in the 350s 360s 370s and he said

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Would thou have a wife that should obey thee as Christ does the church?

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Have care thyself for her as Christ for the church And if it be needful that thou should give thy life for her or to be cut to pieces a thousand times or endure

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Anything whatever refuse it not He brought the church to his feet by his great care not by threats nor fear of any such thing and so Husbands thou conduct thyself toward thy wife

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Jesus hands himself over to the authorities and that's what it means to be delivered That's what it means in chapter 5 verse 25 to give himself up for her it's an act of the will

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Walter Chantry said there are no such books on how to do this You must bear a cross husbands take aim on self

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Set your sights on putting self to death Deny self rise early

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Cry with a fresh uniting of all your energies for the one purpose of knowing the Lord and tomorrow

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The cross will be there for you again It didn't mean your wife was the cross

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He means the cross of self -denial for the sake of the other person It's an act of the will and one man said and I think it's true marital love is like death it claims everything

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All you have all that you are You think how could

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I ever do that? Well remember earlier in chapter 3? He's talked about God granting us in the inner man to have power so that we can do this

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Husbands love your wives. Yeah, but you don't know how she treats me.

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How did Sinners treat the Lord Jesus he loved them when they hated him

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That's the model Your love husbands is not to be performance based if she does this

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I will do that your love husbands and not to be reciprocal As long as you do your end of the deal.

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I'll do mine One writer said spirit -filled husbands loves his wife's not for what she can loves his wife not for what she can do for him

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But what he can do for her it's undeserving

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I don't need Benjamin Franklin's advice if I have these verses Benjamin Franklin said keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterwards

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John Calvin now when a husband has well considered and examined his own faults thoroughly

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He will hold his peace and bear patiently with his wife's faults until God gives her the grace to correct them and Meanwhile whatever happens let him not cease to act like a husband in applying himself to his wife's interests to win her to God For he is not set in a position of superiority

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Except for the benefit and welfare of his yoke fellow Why is the husband the leader so he can play leader

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Maybe we want good marriages Socrates said by all means Mary if you get a good wife, you'll be happy and if you get a bad one

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You'll become a philosopher. I don't want that. I know you don't want that.

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Well Christ has some purposes for loving this bride What are those purposes verse 26 and 27

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That and that verse 26 starts with that verse 27 starts with so that that he might sanctify her

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Having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word and that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot a wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish and Before you know it

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Paul just moved straight in it's just normal and natural for him to talk about Not just husbands and wives, but what it's mirroring what it's reflecting what it's echoing Christ loving the church

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And what did the Lord do the church you could say lots of things, but here's two things Sanctification set apart special under the

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Lord for him. You might call this positional sanctification This is what the Lord did

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How did he set apart the bride of Christ having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word?

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and what was the ultimate purpose of Jesus loving the bride loving us that he might present the church to himself in all splendor without any spot wrinkle any such

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Thing that she might be holy and without blemish You say what does sacrificial love look like this is what it looks like How am

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I the husband supposed to love my wife with this kind of intentional love? Jewish wedding customs in the old days when the ring was given the bridegroom said to the bride behold you are

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Sanctified to me you're set apart for me and the me alone Of course this is going to lend itself since we can't set apart our wives under sanctification in some positional way

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But we want our wives holiness and her godliness, and it is our responsibility to help her with that The text says do you see it in verse 26 cleansed her with the washing of the water of the word

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And you can go back and find in the Old Testament Bridal baths and what happened in Ezekiel chapter 16

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But I think it's good enough for today and fair enough to say Husbands in loving their wives want their wives to be sanctified and holy

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You lead in that area with the ultimate purpose that she might be presented to her to himself the church in all her glory

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We want our wives to mature and to learn and to grow The wives aren't supposed to be the spiritual leader the men are verse 28

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In the same way husband should love their wives I mean, he just keeps repeating it over and over as their own bodies.

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Oh, that makes sense We're one flesh so he who loves his wife loves himself

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Talk about an intimate relationship talking about what God has has put together. Let no man tear asunder

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Asunder fused into one Husbands when you love your wife you love yourself

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Yeah, but she just kind of like I just treat her like I own her. I treat her like a piece of property I just give her the to -do list and tell her when it's get to get

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I mean who By the way, if you act that way to your wife, would you talk to me afterwards? Maybe talk to Pastor Steve.

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He's he's nicer Calvin the argument is now drawn from nature itself

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To prove that men ought to love their wives every man by nature loves himself, but no man can love himself without loving his wife

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Therefore the man who does not love his wife is a monster We don't want that And all of us can look back and say as wives

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I Wish I could do a better job of submitting Lord. Forgive me Husbands should feel the weight of this saying this is the bar.

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I I don't do this. I want to do it I long to do it. I'm thankful Lord. You forgive me when I don't do it If this is what spirit -filled is and if this helps the unity of the church

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And if this shows my gratitude for what you've done, I want to love my spouse better. I want to love my wife better Verse 29 no one ever hated his own flesh

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When your wife is weak, it's your weakness. She is not your foe.

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She is not your enemy. She is not your adversary Chantry how soon marriage counseling sessions would end if husbands and wives

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Were commuting it competing in thoughtful self -denial if the woman was anxious to yield to her

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God -given head in the home and the man was Ambitious to serve her comfort and welfare as being his own flesh

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There would be no room for contention and strife you treat your wife poorly you hurt yourself verse 29

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For no one ever hated his own flesh, but what? Nourishes this is what a husband is to help with it's ultimately the

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Lord of course But as the Lord did this for the church weird to do for our wives, but nourishes and cherishes

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Just as Christ also does the church How do I treat my wife? Well the way

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I want to treat my wife the way I'm commanded to treat my wife is this way a nourishing a cherishing

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Nourishing means to provide security to feed to give sustenance to give protection

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I Guess I could ask the question is your wife more godly because she's married to you Do you encourage her in her studies?

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Do you encourage her to go to? Women's breakfast do you encourage her to go on retreats you encourage her when she's memorizing scripture

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John 17 17 sanctify them in truth your word is true Just as Christ also does the church besides nourishing and feeding.

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What's he do he cherishes? There's one thing I wish I probably do betters.

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I wish I could just cherish my bride more To show regard for that's what he's after here

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Walter Trubisch said cherishes something like this Let me try to tell you what it should mean when a fellow says to a girl

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I love you it means you you you you alone you shall reign in my heart

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You are the one whom I have longed for without you. I am incomplete. I will give everything for you

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I will give up everything for you myself as well as all I possess. I will love you alone

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I will work for you alone. I want to remain always at your side By the way in your honor today,

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I wrote I wrote I brought my socks and they say happy wife happy life there it is

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When I preached this years ago, I was petrified to preach this passage husbands Love your wives because I realized how short

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I fall so I thought okay. It's coming up in three weeks What should I do? So I thought what would

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Kim want to do that? I don't want to do there would be a self -sacrificial gift that I'll do it for her because I don't want any part of it

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So I'll do it for her. And so I bought her this was I don't know ten years ago. I bought her Six ballroom dance lessons because I knew

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I would hate it and I knew she would love it and now it's switched around I love it. She hates it. No just kidding But I don't have to have that pressure anymore

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I can preach this to you because it's God's Word and I can preach it to you Because I'm not the gold standard.

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I want to be a leader I want to be an example that's certainly true, but the gold standard isn't me You've probably seen me not love my wife like I should

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I hate it. I repent But the issue is Christ in the church

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That's the issue To cherish meant do you cherish your wives it means in the

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Greek to keep warm It means to have tender love to guard in a tender manner

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The Bible says husbands don't be embittered don't be harsh. This is the exact opposite of that to be sympathetic

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Bounteous in your love verse 30 it gets bigger because we're members of his body

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You and your wife are both members. So, how do you treat other Christians? Some of us find it so much easier to treat other

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Christians nicer than our own spouse And here we have another case of the union of Christ with his people

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One body many members only one head Verse 31 for those who?

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Husbands who? Are mama's boys? There's somebody else in your life besides your wife.

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Maybe it's somebody at work. Maybe it's a Facebook friend. Maybe it's anybody else Here look at the priority of husbands to love their wives before all others even in even over their children

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Husbands it says Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh

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Marriage has precedent over every other relationship including your children

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One day they'll be gone. He wants unity in the body and unity at home

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This mystery is profound verse 32 and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church in other words

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Your marriage is a preacher And the wives when they preach what are they saying the church ought not to submit to their to the

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Lord Jesus or the church gladly Yields himself to the

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Lord Jesus and to the husband's That's not self sacrificial love. That's a love that takes

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That's a love that was alluded to earlier in chapter 5 The marriage that was made in heaven is the one here with Jesus loving the church

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Verse 33 he gives a summary statement to women and to men First the men

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However, let each one of you love his wife as himself That's what he's been trying to say this whole time and let the wife see that she respects her husband

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One of the reasons why when I do wedding ceremonies, I don't have the couples write their own vows because they're always symmetrical

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I promise to love I promise to love but since we're different people and in God's arrangement

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Men and women are different. They're equal in Christ. They're both image bearers. They both have access to God They both have all their sins forgiven in Christ Jesus They both have the hope of eternal life, but husbands are to love because we're portraying what

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Christ does And when somebody's under you in terms of submitting to you and they don't do what you want them to do

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You could become embittered to them. So the Bible says love your wife Don't be embittered and on the flip side here

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We see the wives there to submit and to place themselves under because of the Lord God and then you know what?

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What if you have somebody over you that's not perfect and they make dumb decisions. What should I do answer? There's the answer you still have to respect them

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When the leader says my ought not to be embittered the one under says I ought not to Say I don't respect him.

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I think it's been said that Husbands if your wife respects you you don't care if anybody else doesn't respect you

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But the flip side is also true that if your wife doesn't respect you it doesn't matter who else does

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This is good for us, isn't it? It's quiet. You know what it is to me, honestly

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It's convicting if you're a woman you ought to be very very convicted because I know you fall short because We're Roman seven people

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So what do we do? Say to our spouse afterwards. I'm sorry. I love you.

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Would you forgive me? We say well we want to work on that we want to honor the Lord and it's not even for my husband

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Although it's true, but I'd like to honor the Lord in this and then for husbands We ought to feel so convicted the way we talk to our wives the way we discuss things to our wives

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We have to be nourishing and cherishing. We realize we just fall short Sometimes I talk about the

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Lord Jesus and his grace so much that people have said Mike you're an antinomian. You're against law

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Just a question between us girls. Did I sound like I was against law today? I hope not because husbands love your wives like Christ loved the church

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And wives submit to your husband's a son to the Lord and everything And you want to see a church flourish you want to see homes flourish you want to see the joy of the

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Lord and beginning To talk to one another with hymns and spiritual songs and odes and Psalm They just think this is all here.

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It all starts at home Let's pray for God's help as we endeavor to do this father.

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Thank you for your word. It is very very convicting and I on behalf of the church can easily recognize

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That I don't love my wife like Christ loved the church, but because you love the church

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We have forgiveness. We have hope we have hope that we have joined the future and I pray for the marriages here today

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That are rocky that are on troubled soil I just pray that you would work and intervene through the preaching of the word through a failed preacher

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Through a preacher that can't even live up to the Word of God But the Word of God is powerful and it works and I pray that those marriages

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That Christ may so dwell in the hearts of that man and woman They'd be so rooted and grounded in love that they would have strength to understand your love

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And then they might love their spouses For those that want to get married we look forward to that great time where they

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Celebrate I pray that you give them wisdom and strength and the husbands might deny themselves and the wives might submit And father for those that have good marriages, they can always be better And I pray that I pray that for all of us that we might think

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God you've done so much for us Chosen us your sons died for us

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Your spirit indwells us we have the hope of heaven We're forgiven reconciled the wrath of God is not going to be ours

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Satan is defeated We have an advocate Jesus is praying for us We're united with Christ all of our sins are forgiven from East and from the

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West when the list could go on and on because of that we want to respond with gratitude and May I with the husbands love their wives this week and may the wives