December 12, 2017 Show with Michele Rickett on “A Victim’s Victory Over Child Abuse Through the Power of Jesus Christ”

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Proverbs 27 verse 17 tells us iron sharpens iron so one

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Now here's our host Chris.

Good afternoon, Cumberland County, Pennsylvania Lake City, Florida and the rest of humanity living on the planet earth

who are listening via live streaming at iron sharpens iron radio .com.

This is Chris Arnton your host of iron sharpens iron radio wishing you all a happy Tuesday on this twelfth

day of December 2017 and today we have a returning guest on

our program to tell us quite a Moving story a disturbing

story about her own Life her own childhood.

We are going to be discussing a Victim's victory over child abuse through the power of

Jesus Christ our guest to do that today is a returning guest Michelle Rickett and

Michelle Rickett is president and founder of she is safe.

She's also co -author with K Marshall Strahm of forgotten girls stories of

hope and courage.

And it's my honor and privilege to welcome you back for the second time on iron sharpens iron radio, Michelle Rickett.

Thank you so much Chris for having me and if anybody would like to join us on the air with a question.

Our email address is Chris Arntz and at gmail .com chris Arntz and at

gmail .com.

Please give us at least your first name your city and state and your country of residence if you live outside the USA.

But if this is a about a personal and private matter over which you are asking and of course a

subject matter like this Would automatically lend itself to the possibility a very strong possibility

of people wanting to ask Personal and private very private questions.

Well, we will we will grant your request to remain anonymous.

But other than that if it's not a personal and private question Please give us your first name city and state and country of residence.

When you email us a question at Chris Arntz and at gmail .com Chris Arntz and at gmail .com well

before we go into The subject at hand.

I would like you to once again, let our listeners know about she is safe the

organization that you founded and Also something about the book that we discussed the last

time since there are new people joining the iron sharpens iron radio audience every day so Tell us

something about the Forgotten Girls as well Forgotten Girls stories of hope and

courage, which is the book I mentioned, but let's start with how and why

and when you founded she is safe and What what led to

that and more details about what exactly you do with she is safe.

Well, great.

It really is all

connected 15 years ago that we founded she

my husband and I were Missionaries before that living in East Africa

family.

We have two beautiful daughters.

I had a great sense of purpose and joy in partnering with God's people there to share the

gospel.

And then I became aware as so many people have of late.

On the issue of modern never heard of it before.

This was really in the mid 80s

when we're to work.

Remember looking into

the remote

tribal big city of

Nairobi between 9 and 11 years old

the light bulb finally went on over my head this child and

Wow, my own to say,

you know, you needed a rescue and I gave you one.

You needed a new identity and a new and

so

that became our female.

Those realities.

We now have 21

people on staff.

We prevent rescue restore women and girls from abuse and slavery in seven countries

right now.

We look for the busiest human trafficking corridors the places where girls are likely to be

sold so last year we intervened for 17

,000 918 women and girls.

Wow country.

Yeah.

Wow.

It's seed coming in and our

greatest work has been so we we partner with the indigenous

church on the ground with women who?

Grew up under these abuses and have transcended through Christ and Have to see

these girls free from abuse and free to become the women God created them to

be.

So it's it's an exciting and redemptive work for me and for a whole lot of people.

We have thousands of people nationwide who partner with us and to people who become

advocates and volunteers and staff and and that's how we'll grow and That's how we'll shine the light

for every girl in every dark corner.

Deep desire

of abuse and play.

Hey strong and I K was a founding board member of she is safe and a very dear friend and

I would tell her Some of the stories of me, you

know, we need to write a book together and to enter.

Varsity press immediately responded to our proposal and the first

book that we wrote together was called retain the bestseller

list for IVP for four years and Then they came back to us and said wait that first book

was wonderful.

It was the stories of women helping to understand how it

happened in their lives.

We'd like a similar book and so the book forgotten

girls and really well as an

ambassador.

I Consider it and

this is a hidden industry that silences its victims.

So they did a great job.

K and I traveled the world to interview hundreds of girl.

What are the root causes of abuse and slavery so that we can attack fell

this seems to

be well.

Anybody who wants more details on she is safe org.

That is the website.

She is safe org and you can also listen to the previous

interview that I conducted with Michelle Rickett and K strong

at iron sharpens iron radio calm.

Iron sharpens iron radio calm and in the top right hand corner.

When you go to that website, you will see a selection for past shows

and in parentheses.

Podcast that is our archive you could click on that and you will have a search engine there that you could

type in.

Anything you want and if you type in.

Rickett r -i -c -k -e -t -t.

I know for certain that's the only person that I've ever interviewed name Rickett.

So that's why that's an easy way to find our interview.

Michelle Rickett and K Marshall Strahm discussed in further detail

the book Forgotten Girls stories of hope and courage and also They discussed she

is safe in further detail.

So you could listen to that interview at your leisure when this program is over.

But today in fact, I only found this out really I believe it was when we were off

the air when the program was over.

Something that is quite remarkable about Michelle Ricketts testimony and Michelle

if you could tell us specifically why you had such a burden on your heart to found she

is safe because it's really Obviously as you've told us was motivated by your

testimony.

Right, well, I Did not grow up in a Christian home.

My parents I'm sure did the best that they could but they had some very dark problems and

we children we

For most of our very early years my

dad was

also I spent so

much time in hiding.

I was hiding in closets and Boxes and we had woods behind

our house any any way that I could and I loved

being and I

was a child.

So you can imagine I had problems besides the hiding.

I Was failing to thrive so I was very it

was because every waking moment

my mother Really see my

mother again

for

15 years.

She left you with your pedophile father.

Yes.

Yeah.

That is remarkably disturbing.

It's pretty disturbing I will say I Love

saving this part for for the last but we had a wonderful reunion 15 years later.

My husband and I were preparing to go overseas as missionary.

So it's just before the Africa experience and this woman called me and said

I'm your mother I have found you and I would love to come and visit you for the weekend and and

There at my kitchen table, you know, I was able to offer her the deepest forgiveness.

You know that I I could with the Lord's help and Ask her the hard question,

you know what what were you thinking when I told you what daddy was doing and you left and

She gave me the incredible gift of understanding.

That's one of the most important things.

She had her own story to tell of her childhood when I heard that I

knew he was capable of anything.

My mind took

my older half

sister, so There at my kitchen

table, you know, we had this landing each other for

after that My mom accepted Christ at my kitchen

table.

She came for the weekend and stayed seven months.

Yeah, so it was oh that that's The full circle

but that in the gap years old

and really getting bad.

My dad was a young executive I mean, he looked great.

Hey, he looked and I was terrified that

When I told someone there was no

point he was thinking into depression but

clothing Alcoholic,

so he

I thought

that you

know, he

can't do that

to you.

That is illegal and We've got to

get you.

He had so Intimidated me that I didn't believe I'd ever be free of

him, but she meant what she said

counselor.

Within a day I was

rescued and how long after your mother

left was that.

About about four years.

So it said it was a very dark four or five year period.

That suddenly changed because of one child Speaking up for

another child and then all the adults that you might

think you're free

should be all right.

But I was play

thankfully they allowed me to live there at

high school.

But I was nowhere near.

You know, I needed so much renewing of the mind from so much

brokenness and so there were what I call everyday heroes

a book chapter by chapter of though,

you know and the mentors that I

really done the heavy lifting of Helping me to be renewed.

So I know you may have said this already.

It may have just slipped by my mind, but how young were you when your father started

sexually abusing?

It was actually from my earliest memory.

I Remember being a priest riser, but I would stay in bed

until I heard because I knew daddy would do uncomfortable things to

me.

So this man had you know a

fixation

questionable incident with other kids.

Nothing I could and my mother said yeah.

Oh, yes when he and I were dating.

He and his friends would go see prostitutes and he would always ask for a child.

So.

Wow, wait, your mother was dating him.

Yes.

So she knew about this.

Yes, and I'm sure they just assumed it was a quirk or something.

Who knows.

And people's minds where we know now pedophilia

almost incurable and.

Something goes off even if they

know they're hurting to

being with an adult.

Now.

Why on earth did your mother marry him?

I mean did she tell you.

Because that is an obvious question.

I don't know if you've asked it, but why on earth did she follow through and marry him knowing this?

Well, I do think you know, this was many many years ago, I don't think there

was the revulsion about

What indiscretion of men and boys concerning women and girls?

It's just like boys will be boys and she thought

that they were but they were you know.

They both had their issues when they came together.

They were very young.

My mom was 16 with her first marriage and I think 19 when she married my

dad and They both at that point were already

drug and alcohol.

I do think that the Introduction into the family life

early on that that allowed Liberty's, you know it takes away the

inhibitions and people do things they wouldn't they and sort

of peer pressure around them that they I Would have hoped they would have you know as a young couple with

children.

Families who could have introduced them to Christ and help them deal with their issues in different ways.

But of course.

Yeah, so If I'm get if I'm figuring out the timeline correctly for the first

16 years of your life.

Which may have even gone back to infancy for all, you know, because it's as far back as your

early memory.

Can recall?

You were molested by your father.

Was this like a weekly thing and everyday thing?

What was.

So it's extremely common.

And as I got older it was

much

more so a

one and

terrifying.

Lose his mind.

And be drunk.

And was quite out

of here

and so

he showed me

a gun and he

said, you know I don't want to live

anything.

I do is blow your head off and then and I believe them.

Wow.

So What was the Relationship like

outside of those horrifying experiences.

Did you have any fondness for him or attachment to him as a father?

Well, no, certainly not in the normal sense, but I It's a very weird relationship when you

love your abuser.

Because I wanted my daddy's approval and I wanted a normal dad and I kept hoping

That he would straighten up, you know, he could be a really charming person.

He was very neat and meticulous.

I mean had some great qualities.

He could be funny sometimes and I think back on those moments and how I would hold on to those and

think oh That's the dad.

I want, you know, that's the dad.

I want him to become you know, if I describe it as

You know, he had more than one tiger by the tail and those tigers just devoured.

Everything he ever would have hoped for this was not the man.

He wanted to become.

So I you know, I'm heartbroken over The dad I didn't have but

also for this man he he died when he was 42 years old.

He died of I'm much older than 42

now and I think oh what a shame that life was just Tossed away

because the enemy of his so early and and kept it going

and when he died.

Did you feel?

A.

Exuberant joy.

Did you feel remorse?

Was it a mixed feeling?

Can't even imagine since I can't even imagine being in a situation like that.

My own experience is so far into that.

I can't imagine what it would be like.

Then subsequently how I would react after that person were to die.

Right.

Well, I did live in fear that my dad was going to come and get me as long as he was alive.

I was terrified.

After I graduated from high school my paternal grandmother came from

Michigan to Georgia the Atlanta area and came for my graduation and then

took me with her to live in Michigan and I remember being

relieved that there.

And my dad then when he passed away.

He was buried in Michigan believer.

It just didn't have the

Resources.

That recurring nightmare even after he

died was that everyone had told me he died so that I wouldn't worry.

Anymore, but I would you know, I'd round a corner

enslave me again.

And I could never become free of so it took a while to really believe that he was gone.

You know get me.

Well, we're gonna take our first station break right now.

And.

If you'd like to join us on the air Our email address is Chris Arnzen at gmail .com.

Chris Arnzen at gmail .com.

See HR is a RN.

Z n at gmail .com.

I think it would be very wise of you if you could call anyone that you know

during the station break who may have gone through similar experiences to this

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Extremely convinced would benefit greatly from hearing this show.

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We it will also air twice tomorrow on Grace life radio in a pre

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That's 90 .1 FM in Lake City, Florida and surrounding areas 8 to 10

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But the email address for people to call in I'm sorry for people to email in questions is Chris Arnzen at

gmail .com.

Chris Arnzen at gmail .com.

Don't go away.

God willing.

We are going to be right back after these messages with more of Michelle Rickett and

her victory over child abuse.

Through the power of Jesus Christ.

We'll be right back up.

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We are back now with our guest really moving story

Michelle Rickett who is president and founder of she is safe and she is also Co -author

with Kay Marshall Strahm of Forgotten Girls Story of hope and courage.

We are discussing today her own personal testimony a Victim's victory over child

abuse through the power of Jesus Christ.

If you'd like to join us on the air, our email address is Chris Arnzen at gmail .com.

Chris Arnzen at gmail .com before we go to any of Our

listener questions, I do have to ask you Michelle this year your

explanation of not only The lack

of venom and vengeance and

Hate burning hate Toward your father is impressive enough

but even That you would rejoice to see your mother who abandoned you

with your pedophile father for 15 years and that not only would you agree

to meet with her that you would rejoice over doing so and Receive her with open arms and

extend forgiveness to you to her.

It is absolutely breathtakingly remarkable to me.

How did you draw upon?

The ability to do that.

From what did you or from who did you draw upon to have your ability to do that or did it seemingly

come?

Naturally, did you not even have to put thought into it?

Well, my real thanks goes to a wonderful mentor that I had

each Christ and Shortly after that

was married to a wonderful Christian

together we began attending a church

and there was a woman there who just knew and alone and she

befriended me and Began to speak into my life the

amazing truth from the Word of God, I Knew just enough, you

know to be born again, but I didn't know anything about my heavenly father really or The

Bible was a big book of mystery to me.

I thought it was 66 books of Commandments, you know and she introduced me to

the and I think on the one hand because

my father was such a frightening Monster to him

God could not be anything like that.

He had to be a total opposite.

And so in a way it was easy for me to Receive that God was good and that he

would be the father to me that I needed.

That was my friend, you know, my mentor.

Her name was Anna.

Anna was also I wanted to

just have a new mom.

I may not be with you for a short time.

We're not promised more than today.

So whenever we get together and and we did that for Every single week I would

go to sit at her kitchen table and she'd take out the Bible and as I would reveal a little more about my

Life she'd say, you know, you have some very hard questions that I didn't have.

She said I had wonderful parents and have never been through much trauma.

But she said I know this that God preserved your life and your sanity to this day.

That he was with you all of the time and you didn't see him but he was with you

and so she kind of opened up my Imagination to go back to those dark days and

remember when I thought I was when I

would just please help me my parents are going

insane and I don't know what to do and it was an ignorant prayer, but it was

real and Then she would say these remarkable things like did you

realize that you can minister to people that I could never reach?

Because you have insight you really have been there under the direct and specialized training of

God to be at work in his venue, I Didn't know what any of those words meant.

But in them you can hear this person this mature Christian woman Speaking

came true many many years later.

She would take my hard questions and teach me how to search the scripture

Concordance to begin to understand how to handle the Bible properly.

So I was holding it in context and to really trying to understand what the

original meaning was before I leaped to applying it to myself and We got to a certain

juncture and I just feel like you're

probably not gonna grow Much more in your faith until you can come to the

point where you can forgive your parents and believe me.

That was a struggle.

I thought Apologize first and she said oh, no, this

isn't for them.

This is really for you so you can be released from

the things you or

me heard in

my voice.

I can I am gonna write Forgiven

you forgiven me.

I'm her up and then you know as a Christian You

hope you did what you meant to do forgave, but it was not until that day.

There she is standing and

thinking and that's why it

was easy.

Nothing's easy.

It was what I wanted to do.

I wanted.

I Didn't really tell you that the way that I came to faith the boyfriend that I

was dating now my husband of 45 years Introduced me to his mother

was a godly lovely Christian woman and she accepted me like a

long -lost daughter full.

That's what I wanted from my mom is to be able to for her to have a place Where the door

would be open and she could see and experience acceptance and forgiveness and

And that's what I have permanently now, you know, praise

God.

We have CJ in Lindenhurst, Long Island, New York.

Who asks.

Sorry for joining the conversation late?

But I was wondering if your father had molested other children

in your family if you there were any.

And I was wondering if your mother knew about the molestation that was

occurring with you.

I.

Don't know that my dad molested my Half

sister.

I don't think so.

She's a very strong

Personality

and and I

do not believe that my mother knew until

Because he was a very smart man.

Even though she knew before they were married.

He was a pedophile.

That's right.

Yes.

Yeah, was it that she just couldn't dream he would do it to their own biological children.

Well, and we did it was never.

Obvious, he would never do anything when anyone else was around you know, and

then of course when she left it was

and.

We all thank you CJ and Lindenhurst, Long Island.

Keep spreading the word about iron sharpens iron radio there on Long Island and beyond.

We have Mel in Shelby, North Carolina.

And.

Mel says I Work a lot with inner -city.

Children in.

Ministry, I suspect that the home life of many of them is similar to what you experienced.

What kind of questions are appropriate to ask in order to know how to pray for them and even to find out if

urgent?

Help is needed in some cases.

Thank you for being willing to talk about these experiences in your life.

Praise God for his grace and salvation.

That's an excellent question because as You probably know

Michelle unfortunately, there have been innocent people who have

Been arrested and have gone to trial.

For.

Child molestation and it turned out later in some of these cases that it was

proven that the accused was innocent and that the child or children were manipulated

by psychologists or others who were planting thoughts in these children's minds and

putting words in their mouth that they never would have had there to begin with if it were not for the

manipulation of the interviewer of the children and I'm sure you've heard of that.

I'm assuming right.

So.

Mel's.

Question I think is very valuable about what kind of questions are appropriate to ask in order to

know how to pray for children these children that he works with in ministry and

In order to find out if they need urgent help.

Obviously, you don't want to be Putting a thought in a child's mind that they never even thought of before.

Right.

Well, I I do like for that reason to work with groups of children because you know.

And in the mix of a group of say 20 children you can talk about

The fact that their body is a sacred gift that no one has the right to hurt them.

That if anyone is hurting them, here are the steps that you can take To get the help that you

need.

So it's when it's in a blanket like that.

The kids it really applies to you know, they At least they

have the offer that this is an issue that's on the table and if I'm in trouble I know now

that I could go and talk to my teacher or my counselor in this case the ministry worker.

You know who works with inner -city kids.

So I like the group presentations on Stranger danger

broaching the subject that there are people who do her children

and we have to look out for each other things that we do and she

is safe in public schools in developing and

Offer the children 10 tips to safety and a hotline for help so.

And I think any child who asks for help where it has to be.

I'll assume that talking about is

guilty, but.

Well, thank you very much Mel in Shelby, North Carolina.

Keep listening the orange ribbons on radio and spreading the word about the program in North Carolina and beyond.

This kind of issue One has to wonder and I know it's going to be affecting

people in all sorts of negative ways because people are people people are individuals

and we are not cookie cutters of one another.

And Having been molested yourself Is

are there reoccurring?

Nightmares and difficulties living a normal life even dare I ask

sexually in a marriage and so on what kind of Horrible repercussions has this

kind of thing had.

Because I know that with other people it would it would be a different story.

And maybe you know of other specific cases that you can tell us about anonymously if need be.

Not bringing up the name of the individual you're talking about but tell us about that in your own experience and what you know

of others.

What in my experience?

Because I had such a radical faith experience and I really

did have the opportunity with a Discipler

a mentor in my life I think that it worked wonders for me

the introduction of the word to renew what I thought about

myself as a young woman in the world and Relating with my husband I for

me.

I think the recurring issue has been that penchant for hiding It

so when things do withdraw

spiritual battle for me to Be courageous and bold that's why it's a constant

prayer of mine Lord Don't let me flip back into what I've learned as a child and then

you know It's not hard to do that and dress it up and make it look very cool to hide

behind my husband Very kind and comfortable take all the

risks until that moment when God tapped me on the shoulder and said hey.

You know what are you going to do about this?

So I say I would say for myself, it's that hiding issue and it it took me many years

with my very patient husband For to believe him.

I kept waiting for the other shooter drop hit me or

Have an affair or terrible things that I could think

he was so so

he was an easy man to trust Person who's been abused as a child

has you know,

I do believe is the one

who comforts us Affliction so that we'll be able

with the very comfort that he's given us so if we see if we look back on our abuses and

Try and understand Lord out of the ashes of this abuse.

Will you redeem it?

Then we have a different project than just holding on by us

rather We have leaked

up my life and honor yourself, and I'm not going to hide.

I'm not going to hold back.

That's when for me the real transformation began when I Began

to

once I began to minister to others out of the comfort.

I had received.

I.

Began to understand myself better.

I always thought I would my

goodness.

I Love people.

I love to laugh.

I have leadership skills.

I have a lot of passion here to work with.

All of that was tucked away as long as I curled up as a survivor.

Now, I'm more than a conqueror say to anyone who

Wonders, you know, can I ever have a full and abundant life in Christ given all that I've

gone are resounding.

Yeah, he loves to

not just.

Amen, and we have to go to our midway break.

It's a longer break than normal because of grace life Radio 90 .1 FM in Lake City, Florida who has

a requirement of a 12 -minute break between our two hours.

If you'd like to join us on the air with a question of your own our email address is Chris Arnson at gmail .com.

Chris Arnson at gmail .com.

Don't go away.

God willing.

We'll be right back with Michelle Rickett and more of her testimony on how a victim of

child abuse had victory through Jesus Christ.

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Before I return to our conversation with Michelle Rickett

on our theme a Victim's victory over child abuse through the power of Jesus Christ.

I have some important announcements to make including the upcoming G3

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Now.

We are back to our guest Michelle Rickett President and founder of she is

safe and co -author with Kay Marshall Strom of Forgotten Girls stories of courage Stories of

hope and courage and she is discussing a victim's victory over child abuse through the power of Jesus

Christ.

If you'd like to join us on the air, our email address is Chris Arnzen at gmail .com.

Chris Arnzen at gmail .com and as always, please give us your first name.

Your city and state and your country of residence if you live outside of the USA and only remain anonymous.

If it's about a personal and private matter, and we do have an anonymous listener once again, Michelle

Who says I don't know how much of an expert you've become on the subject of pedophilia

Just because you are a victim.

I know that it is not Absolutely certain that you would do the necessary study and research

to become an expert on the field in general.

But I was wondering if you knew what the percentage was of victims of child abuse.

Who actually become pedophiles themselves.

Is this more common with male victims who become Predators

themselves later in life and did you ever have that fear in your own life of that happening?

Well, you're right.

I'm not an expert on pedophilia and I I don't know the Statistics.

I can tell you I'm fairly certain that something happened to my dad when he was a boy.

That awakened

some kind of perversion when he was quite young and It's always difficult to

walk a perversion back, you know, then what's normal doesn't seem so exciting.

So I I really can't speak to the stats.

I can tell you that there is a very strong connection between being

sexually victimized and becoming a victim as an adult of human trafficking

or sex slavery.

Most of the Prostitutes there was a survey that was done of prostitutes

and something like 98 of them Said, you know, yeah, I guess I chose

this path.

You know if they're an adult they may not see themselves as I did

this but a thing happened coming

a teenager and an

adult.

Where they feel like well, I'm already ruined.

So, I guess I'll just so

that's the tragedy to me is that not only do you suffer as a child,

but We know the most vulnerable victims of trafficking in the United States are

runaway teens and foreign nationals.

Others can be victimized as well, but the vast majority

demographic and they say the runaway teen is Generally not always but generally

fleeing and

48 hours of their being on the street.

Wow.

Well, thank you anonymous and we have Susan Margaret in Dauphin County, Pennsylvania and

Susan Margaret wants to know Let's see here.

Oh, she says.

Isn't it important to distinguish? between pedophilia and

Pederasty when we are Talking about other people who may have

been guilty of pederasty especially because there may have been

more easily a mistaken identity situation where you have

a Male thinking that a teenage girl is actually an adult later to find

out that she is under legal age, which is Absolutely foreign to the pedophilia

situation, which is an unnatural craving for prepubescent children aren't there

differences.

And this also goes into the factor of teenagers themselves that

may be involved in sinful activity including sexting on their cell phones and then

may have to pay an enormously high price as being forever labeled a pedophile even though

that the One of the participants if not both were

teenagers themselves.

Yeah, like for instance an 18 year an 18 year old boy who has a 16 year old girlfriend and he's sexting

her and he Gets fat discovered.

It's discovered that he's doing that and he gets arrested or something and he has this Sign hanging around his neck for the

rest of his life that he's a pedophile when he was just.

Within.

You know, not many difference difference of years in age and.

It seems like a horrible consequence.

Now, obviously, I don't think our listener and nor am I trying to condone Teenagers or

anybody else doing that but it seems like an overreaction in that kind of a circumstance.

Yes.

Yes, definitely.

And you know, there are.

There are degrees of when we're not talking about degrees of sin here, but just there are

degrees of Offense let's say.

Someone doesn't use good judgment and they're 18 or 19 years old and they start

going to get busted on a

technicality.

Actual pederasty though is the sexual activity involving a man.

Oh, that's never.

With a man and a teenage girl.

It's always a boy.

Well as far as the you know, textbook.

Okay, so.

As I was saying there is a and which is pedophilia, right?

If it's involving a boy anybody under the age of 18 cannot content and

sent.

So if a 18 year old is dating a 15 year old It's still is in that range

of.

Well, you know, it's inappropriate.

And if she's trafficked.

Even if she consents to being used by other people so that he can have some money

It's human trafficking.

So they're you know, we just have to be.

I Guess you hate for

somebody's a terrible choice as a teen on the

other hand.

You know as a society we want to come out against.

Well.

Thank You Susan Margaret.

Keep listening to iron sharpens iron radio and keep spreading the word.

In Dauphin County, Pennsylvania and beyond we have.

Let's see here.

We have Ronald in Eastern Suffolk County, Long Island, New York.

Who says what are major signs?

That we should look out for.

Not only in our congregations.

But in our families and normal everyday life when we encounter children that they may

indeed be victims of child abuse, especially sexual abuse and.

How do we go about responding to this not wanting to?

Falsely accuse and and bear false witness against our neighbor which could have really

horrendous consequences.

Legally and otherwise to the person who is accused.

Yes, well as I mentioned in my own story I had some behaviors that if people were

paying attention and obviously some were paying attention.

That were indicators that something was because I was hiding because I

was not eating I was failing to thrive.

Difficult, I mean we all want to have our eyes wide open.

That's really important.

If you see something unusual, I mean we have to ask the clock,

you know, what's going

earlier?

I I think we should make it our mission to make sure that every kid in the United States

Understands.

No one has the right their will and that they can cry

out for help.

Child abuse, which is It's a very hidden

or if we tell someone

they will be shot

child is.

Showing these signs, you know, somebody has to have the courage just to ask the questions without being accusing.

But just saying, you know, I'm I'm just worried here.

Something does not look into it

barging in and saying yeah.

And I'm assuming that you're talking about if you're in a church going to an elder pastor deacon.

And not I'm assuming that it would be a very wrong thing.

To say well like for instance, I believe that there would be a huge difference between saying I think

that You should talk to John or

Susie's parents.

Because I there's something troubling that child and I think that we have to really do

some more digging.

Is there there may be something? Wrong with this child and then immediately saying

without any knowledge, you know I think the little Johnny or Susie is being molested by

somebody in their family or something that that would be an inappropriate thing.

The latter wouldn't it.

Because you're automatically You're really bearing false witness and if you go to that extreme, aren't you?

That's right, because we really don't know what we can say is I'm seeing bruising this child has

radically changed their behavior.

They're not eating well.

Something's going on.

Let's get at the root causes.

So you kind of get the conversation rolling without making any because it may not be somebody in the

household.

It could be a neighbor it can be an uncle or a grandfather, you know, or a family friend.

So you don't want to lay blame at anyone's doorstep, but you do want to get this kid some help.

And I'm assuming that you when it comes to a neighbor.

If you're witnessing something, I mean it depends on what you're witnessing, but if you're hearing screaming and that's beyond what

you would normally hear.

Because you know, you could typically hear in the best of homes screaming and going on with children in the house.

But.

If you were to call the police, how would you.

What would you suggest?

I mean, obviously these Circumstances are different.

They're not all the same.

But how would you begin speaking to the police when you call them if you are really worried about the

safety of somebody in your.

And you're in the house next door or down the block or whatever without unnecessarily

accusing someone falsely.

Right.

Well for one, you know, you're looking for serious signs.

So all kids get bruises from time to time.

And they're usually happy -go -lucky and they, you know, move on.

A child is being routinely abused and Yes, if you are going to

call the authorities, I mean You better be fairly certain that this is really a

weird situation and and somebody needs to look into it.

I was very... mother, you know, I had told a child

Basically a teen what had happened to me.

Her mom Contacted the counselor at school.

Thinking that was the first line, which I thought was really wise because then the counselor could talk to me and

see if that's what I did say and if it was true and And

then she warned me.

She said, you know we can confirm whether what you're saying is true or not and

we'll have to have and You know.

So it but if it is true I'm telling you you're going home over both

kind of put the fear into me if I was lying if I was making this up They would find out.

If I wasn't she was on my side all the way and then She contacted the Department

of Family and Children Services and they have professional social workers Who were able to

confirm and then I

did.

So I think there's a you can see an appropriate

You're really trying to Discover what's going on?

We have to go to our final break right now.

If you'd like to join us on the air now is the time to do it before we run out of time.

Our email address is chrisarnsen at gmail .com chris

Arnzen at gmail .com.

Please give us your first name city and state and country of residence if you live outside the USA.

Please only remain anonymous if the question involves a personal and private matter.

Don't go away.

We will be right back.

God willing after these messages with more of Michelle Rickett President and founder of she is safe

and co -author with Kay Marshall Strahm of Forgotten Girls stories of hope and courage and

Our discussion on a victim's victory over child abuse through the power of Jesus Christ.

Don't go away. God willing. We'll be right back.

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now we are returning to our final 25 minutes of today's program with Michelle

Rickett president and founder of she is safe and Co -author with Kate Marshall Strahm of

Forgotten Girls stories of hope and courage.

We are discussing Michelle's testimony today a victim's victory over child abuse through the

power of Jesus Christ and Michelle.

I would like you Before we move on to any listener Phone

calls.

I'm sorry.

No listener emails.

I should say we used to take phone calls on Iron Trip and Zion radio.

But now we take listener emails.

If you could give us a summary of what

you believe every Person listening can do

To help I mean nobody's gonna be infallible in this nobody's going to work miracles with this.

But what you think they should be most on?

The lookout for and what they can Do the most to help reverse

the tide of sexual molestation of children.

Of course, we would love to see it completely eliminated.

But that of course is probably not going to happen until Jesus Christ returns.

Of course, it will definitely happen after that.

But if you could give us some of your thoughts before we move on to any more listener questions.

First of all become more aware.

You know if you have a normal Background and there's no abuse in your

background and all of your friends, you know treat their children.

Well, it's easy for us to get lulled into sleep and forget that there are many

children who so raising awareness is extremely important and

If you see some we don't

want to be alarmist.

We don't want to assume but we do want to be certain that we're not

ignored.

I do think we also

These are very Difficult times that we live in I think

Children are being exposed to more sexuality than ever before once you

give a kid a cell phone a Smartphone the entire world can accost them.

And so we Because of the times we need to be much more vigilant to

protect our own children from being assaulted.

I was rather surprised I spoke to a group I'm at a speaking ministry and retreats and

churches and missions conferences and I was speaking to a group of teen

girls, they're 13 I in a middle school

group and I was talking to them about

growing abused

one of the girls said in front of all the others, you know I wish that the boys

were because they tell us

that these are kids from Christian families

in a homeschool group who are saying they feel

and When kind of dig into that and ask well, how how did you get

involved?

They were doing homework looking up things on their phone and They

were a cough drawn in and then they felt like

so they a physical abuse.

But once you accost the brain of

a physical brain almost like a drug addiction and kids

just much as we like to.

You know think that our kids are not involved in things like that and we want to protect them.

From even talking about it.

We have to talk about it.

We have to let our kids know things like this do kind of pop up

on your computer or your phone and The best thing you can do is come and talk to me about it.

You're not in trouble.

If that happened to you, it's just I want to talk to you about how to handle this.

So Helping to get it on the table, you know, I've had Several churches that have

said, you know We don't know if we want you to come and talk about human trafficking or abuse because

we don't want our children.

You know to have to think about such sorry to tell you and

they're already being that's

the most important begin to get the subject on

the table and age appropriate and not a frightening way with children, but to let them know these

are realities and We want to help for them to deal with it.

Presentations in schools and Sunday school classes and to go ahead and talk to

kids about you know how sacred their body is and everyone else's and That there

there are people who would like to hurt that and we can give them

to prevention and what you can do the steps.

John and Bangor, Maine wants to know.

Do you have an opinion on what stage or age? in a child's life

their computers Should become off -limits to the parents.

I'm not meaning by that that there would be never in an emergency Situation a reason

to start viewing the content that your child has been Viewing

and what kind of social media your child has been interacting on.

But what I mean is that the regular standard Practice in the

home would be that you wouldn't be snooping into your child's computer activity and give them

more Privacy and respect that more in their lives than you would if they were younger.

Is there a certain age or would you think that this is a child to child

situation?

Well, my feeling is until you know, this person is an adult.

They're living in your home they are you're probably paying for the internet service.

It really is your they don't have a right to use it.

However, they will and I wouldn't slip in and they can look at anything I would let

them know right up front everything you're looking at.

I can see and Off the top of my head, but

there are services that you can pay that basically give you a ping And tell you

what's going on.

I'm I'm a little more hard -nosed about it.

I don't think that kids should be left to their own devices and

There are very few 18 year old, you know 17 year old 16 year old.

Certainly not who have full discretion and Who don't need

protection?

That's that's why you know in law enforcement if you

Draw a child into a sexual experience anyone who's under the age of 18

That's considered human trafficking.

That's how serious it is.

And I think that.

There is very little reason Unless somebody can come up with a situation that

would violate the rule, but I don't even think that there's a legitimate reason why

Spouses should not have access to Each other's email and so on and perhaps

they should even share the same email address or whatever, but but there's so many marriages that

are in conflict and in divorce because of The private lives that people have on the

internet and they develop crushes and flirt with and fall in love with quote -quote

total strangers that they Encounter on the internet and they don't even really know who this person is.

I think they could even be Getting duped by someone who is of the same

gender as them and you know, look look nothing like the photograph they're seeing or whatever it was going on,

but this is isn't the The lackadaisical attitude towards privacy on the

internet a dangerous thing.

It really is.

I mean we were created to live in community and Part of the

reason for that from God's eye view is that we all need accountability.

The more transparent we are with each other as spouses, but even you know with our

family members and friends.

The better we behave because we have this positive expectation.

From people who love us that they want us to do what's right and what we have lost in our society

among other things is You know that kind of that small -town accountability where I'm looking out for

your kids.

You're looking out for mine.

We know what is Acceptable behavior and

what's not.

Well in trouble we demand a right to

pride let alone from our

you don't have they.

We have an anonymous listener who says not long ago our church

notified the congregation that a man who had been convicted

of pedophilia Who was released from prison on parole? Was

attending the church they were required.

I believe to do this by law.

My question is knowing that the blood of Christ Cleanses all sin

no matter how gruesome or grotesque.

That.

People can be rescued and redeemed from any wicked behavior.

The problem is We are not omniscient and we cannot read the hearts and minds of men.

How do you suggest we?

Approach a situation when it is known that there is a pedophile or former pedophile.

Visiting our church for worship services.

Do we extend warmth and kindness to them?

Do we have certain rules in our household where our children are to go nowhere near these individuals?

What are your suggestions in regard to this very touchy and.

Puzzling area.

Well, I think back of my dad and Imagine, you know

that he came to Christ.

I wish he had and Begins going to a church

Knowing what I know about the tentacles of pedophilia that it

really is in his case and and others that I've heard

an Irresistible urge not unlike a drug addiction

that they may fight it for a while.

And then if that means is It comes forward on

someone.

So some Person is going to be hurt.

So even Christians, you know who become addicted to drugs and They can find

victory through Christ and laps and when they lap You know, they fall

back into using drugs or alcohol With a pedophile and they

likely will from all studies Even though they're Christian That

a child will be hurt.

So I think job number one and in the case of my dad I can forgive him

wholeheartedly, but I would never have him alone with my children.

There are consequences of sins and the greater the sins the greater the consequences, right?

There's consequences, but also there is.

You know, the Predictor of future behavior is from the past.

It doesn't mean a person is not forgiven.

It just means they're like they're liable to Stumble in those ways.

It's just it got a hold of them and and that's going to be their struggle.

Probably for the rest of their days.

I don't want their struggle to end up hurting one of my children.

No, it shouldn't.

So are you saying that only adults in the church should have?

Close contact with these individuals and not even not even private

Session.

I don't know what the word I'm looking for.

Any any private time with someone like this in a child?

But even public time where something could be done discreetly in the midst of a crowd.

I mean, how do you.

I'm assuming that you would think that the close contact would be reserved only for adults in the church.

Right, and I'm sure the church let everyone know because they are liable that the

church needs to demonstrate That they are protecting children.

I I recently went to visit a Compassion child along with a friend and in

order for me to go with her.

I'd have a background check.

They would not have allowed me to go and visit that compassion child, even though it wasn't my compassion child.

If I did not if I had anything in my past any kind of conviction, so.

And if if the church did allow close contact with a child and this person and a child was

hurt.

The church would be in big big trouble with the authorities.

So it's it makes all the sense and gives

People and hope and pray the best for them.

But also take temptation out of their way make sure that children are nowhere near, you know, this person

right and it would.

The person can never say go on, you know, youth camp trips and right like that.

That's just not allowed.

Right, that would be just insane to do something like that.

Yeah, you know.

And it would be insane for even other types of sins where you're putting somebody or allowing a

person to wander in a specific area where their temptation

is likely to be stronger and More unbearable to resist, right?

Yeah, those are always touchy situations when you know that it is your duty as a Christian to forgive

someone that is demonstrating Believable

repentance.

And at the same time as The as the listener said we are

not omniscient.

We can't read people's hearts and minds and we don't know that this person is truly a Christian.

We don't know that they're truly repentant.

We don't know that they're regenerate.

So, you know you have to Err on the side of caution.

Well.

Before we run a time Please give a summary of what you most want etched in the hearts

and minds of our listeners today.

You can have about five minutes of uninterrupted time where you could really lay out To our listeners what you

want the most to remember when they leave this program today.

Well, I Most uppermost on my heart are those who?

Maybe have been abused and never told anyone in their whole life.

I've spoken at women's retreats and women 70 years old weapon to me and

they tear up and and they say, you

know, I've always and so my message first of all would be to them and

the message is that God is with you that he held on to you

all of these days and These seem like ashes to you, but we know

From the scriptures that Jesus himself said I have come To

preach a good news to you to bind up the broken -hearted.

I want to proclaim liberty to you and out of these ashes I will bring the

oil of gladness and instead of mourning you're going

to wear a God that he stands ready.

For anyone, you know life throws Injustices at us.

Of all a terrible thing that may have happened to me may not

have happened to you.

But something similar or something worse.

They're all Really wants to

destroy us By the and God calls us to

faith faith that to believe that he is Tutoring us

whatever it was that brought us to where we are today.

He wants to take us by the hand and build something brand new and beautiful.

I say to some of the girls who have been through horrific

situations sold by their parents and Forced to have sex with 20 men a day.

I Look at them and say you know what?

You have gained Not only freedom through the hand of Christ.

But you have in the ministry if she is saved goes on in the

years.

We're going to need people just like you who have the insights and the compassion on

others to make a difference for them.

Now, why don't you become an everyday hero?

Think of what you can do with what you have learned rather than Letting the

things that have happened to you.

That's what the enemy wants.

God wants to turn beautiful and empowering to bind up the broke

and then I would say for all

the children in our Circles

and Be willing to speak to them and let them know that you care about them.

You'd never want anything bad to happen to them if they ever need somebody to talk to they have someone they

can talk to.

We just want to open that door and then certainly we can

to forewarn them About the dangers and I

believe that we are breeding.

Because with young children

Television and

need to be vigilant for that their number one

vulnerable.

Yeah, I.

Always have felt very uncomfortable and disturbed by

things that are a part of some of the regions of America and other parts of the world.

But I know it's a part of I believe the southern and Midwestern culture in America

to have beauty pageants Involving young prepubescent girls and they are

dressed up and put had makeup on them and make themselves look like Women

and even dressed in such a way that it might be even in a inappropriate for an adult woman at church to be dressed

like that, I mean, I don't really think that this is kind of a kind of a behavior that

that especially Christians should be participating in but I know that it's a huge part of the culture in some areas of our

country and Ironically, I think it's most prevalent in the Bible Belt, isn't it?

Well, I'm not sure where it's most prevalent, but I will tell you that something very wrong

when we Put so much time money and effort into telling a child His or

her only worth is and there's no denying that.

No, no.

No, that's not what I mean but the fact is if you reinforce it with time and money and dress up and

competition and reward That's the message and it's going deeply

into the soul.

Yeah, I mean.

These beauty pageants.

Sometimes they involved girls even singing.

Popular music that is definitely intended to be seductive music that an

adult woman is singing.

And you have these little kids prancing around a stage Singing these songs.

It's just mind -boggling to me that any.

That any sane and moral adults would ever in a million years want people to view their child

in that way.

Well, it's a pretty messed -up world I'll tell you and it's easy for Christians to

justify things and often things that they shouldn't.

You know, we can justify anything the more we let ourselves do that.

In a community of believers that will really help us see ourselves.

You have time for one more quick Answer.

I don't know if you can quickly answer this but an anonymous listener wants to know.

I Know that we are commanded to honor the father and mother, but how do you honor a

father that has molested you?

Well, I you know it's important to

if in the case I Would not tell her part of this

story.

That's how I honored her and I honored the role of my father You know and

the good things that he did try to do.

But I'm not gonna lie for him.

I'm not gonna pretend that they or even make

it easier in any way for him to continue that sin.

Which could also be harming others, right?

Right?

Yeah, so I I do agree with you.

It's very important to us.

We step with great care, you know around somebody else's reputation.

Not to overstep I you know, just hurt somebody's image

because You feel hurt by them.

Thank You Michelle for your willingness to share something so personal and painful so that others may benefit

in some way from your experience.

To find out more about Michelle Ricketts organization.

She is safe.

Go to she is safe org.

That's she is safe org.

I hope you all always remember for the rest of your lives that Jesus Christ is a far greater Savior than

you are a sinner.