Manning Up (part 2)

Bethlehem Bible Church

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What do you think? We need a few more man laws? All right number eight according to the

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International Council of man laws limited if a man's fly is down That's his problem.

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You didn't see anything Number nine women who claim they love to watch sports

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Must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game Number ten if you compliment a guy on his six -pack you'd better be talking about his choice of beer and number eleven

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Thou shalt not buy a car and the colors of brown pink lime green orange or sky blue Should we finish the list now or save a couple for later?

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You feeling it? We're gonna save it for later. All right, remind me if I forget for next one time Abbreviated title for this session is manning up in marriage again.

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I realize some of you aren't married But you can pray for the rest of us and in light of its fact.

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It's gonna be biblical It's applicable to all of us in light of 2nd Timothy 3 16 and 17

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But it's an important matter for us to be talking about the abbreviated or that's the abbreviated title manning up in marriage

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Here's the full title how not to lead in your marriage use some sarcasm and Thereby lead a miserable

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Christ diminishing life that hurts your family culture and church Did you get that written down?

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What we're gonna do for this session is look at a dozen or so ways you can lead a miserable

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Life that dishonors Christ when it comes to marriage Jesus you sarcasm at times.

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I figured I could as well. And so we're gonna talk about how to fail as Husbands hoping to have that sink in a little bit better because we're putting it in the negative

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So get ready for this dozen or so the ten we're doing ten for sure we might cut it a little short and I'll just list the last ones, but the first way to lead a

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Miserable life as a husband that dishonors Christ and makes a mess of culture so on and so forth number one stay unconverted

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Stay unconverted and that relates to how we closed out the last session So I don't need to say much about it.

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But once again to briefly reiterate you will not you cannot lead in your marriage relationship the way you were designed to be able to lead if You're not converted.

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You have no power. You are trying to do Ephesians 5 as if Ephesians 5 were the only

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Part of Ephesians you're trying to do Ephesians 5 husbands. Love your wives as if that's that's the whole book

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Not understanding chapter 1 2 and 3 and even the other stuff that's around in chapter 5 that has to do with Christ the power is in the gospel the power is in the

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Holy Spirit who comes when you Are regenerated and so it's no wonder again men

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We know that it's healthy based upon the Apostle Paul in 2nd Corinthians 13

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To examine ourselves to see whether we are in the faith It is healthy for you and for me he's writing to professing

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Christians in Command mode he says examine yourself to see whether you are in the faith stop and Consider whether or not you're actually a

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Christian Because again, it is really hard using some circus sarcasm here

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To live the Christian life when you're not a Christian. There's no power in that number two

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Another surefire way to ensure that you fail in leading as a husband and thereby lead a miserable

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Christ diminishing life That hurts your family culture and church number two. Don't read

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If you want to fail as a leader you want to fail as a man you want to fail as a husband don't read

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And you say you mean reading comes by means of of sanctification Yes Let's look at some passages

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John 17 2nd Timothy 3 16 psalm 19 Matthew chapter 4 verse 4 and the list could go on but for the record

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God has designed your spiritual growth if you are a Christian your sanctification to be

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Linked to a book to be linked to reading and if you don't read again not to be cute

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But maybe for effectiveness if you don't read you can't lead

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Because you're not growing. You're not the man. You need to be John chapter 17 verse 17

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We probably know it well when Jesus prays for believers sanctify them in the truth your word is what?

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Your word is truth So, how do we grow? How are we set apart unto godliness whether it be in our marriage or anyone anywhere else?

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We somehow have to be in the book. We have to somehow be readers because our sanctification is tied to it 2nd

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Timothy 3 16 again We know it. Well, if you've been a Christian longer than like five minutes, and you don't know it

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You should repent with sackcloth and ashes All scriptures is is

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God breathe it comes from God origin is God and it is profitable for teaching for reproof for correction for training and righteousness so that the man of God may be adequate equipped for Every good work.

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It's a statement of sufficiency our Religion the Christian religion is a reading religion

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Psalm 19 verse 7 the law of the Lord is perfect. He's using laws a synonym for scripture there It is perfect reviving the soul the testimony of the

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Lord is sure making wise the simple it revives the soul It's that multidimensional

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Hebrew weird word talking about about Transformation it changes everything

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It's tied to the book Attended by the power of the Spirit obviously Matthew 4 for Jesus said man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God You've got to be nourished

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You've got to be be feeding if you're gonna be strong. You've got to have protein intake, right?

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Teaching my 13 13 year old son that you can't just can't only carbs Can't only eat fat

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You've got to make sure that you're eating Protein the right kind of food the right kind of diet because you want to grow up and you want to be strong physically well if you're gonna be strong spiritually you need that meat of the word and you've got to take it in and meditate on the scripture and Watch your life change

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Now let me ask you Does reading? Guarantee sanctification

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Well, I don't think it guarantee sanctification because there are a lot of people that read a lot of books that seem to live pretty ungodly lives but you can't expect to be growing leading being sanctified apart from being men of the book and Not only that then we supplement supplements can be helpful.

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We don't live off of supplements It's like in the exercise world, but supplements can be helpful and we're thankful that God gave

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Gifted men to the church to equip us for spiritual service

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Allah Ephesians chapter anybody know Ephesians chapter 4 and so we we do want good teachers good theologians to come alongside of us and say and we want to say

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Help us understand the book better So if you're gonna lead men, I want to know what's on your reading list

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And if nothing's on your reading list, I know a lot about you I know a lot about you

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Marriage is a wreck Can't lead in the home. What you reading? I don't really have time for that pastor

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Hmm interesting It's the wrong answer If you're gonna lead you've got to be leading because you've got to be convicted about things and you've got to have

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Convictions that about what is true and what is therefore wrong or false?

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How can you have any kind of backbone if you don't have any kind of conviction in? The Bible and God's Word does a lot of different things

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But one thing it certainly does is it feeds and develops and helps us in our conviction a third way surefire way to fail and leading as a husband

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Would be to join a church for their children's programs Join a church for their children's programs, and you will be a big fat failure

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Well, you're a leader. All right. You've already led and doing the wrong thing And you say that just sounds like you're taking a cheap shot or something like that Maybe pastor you a lead

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Omaha Bible Church, and you don't have a very good children's program And you're just trying to somehow you know make some kind of statement

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Well, I'm thankful by the grace of God. I think we have a decent children's program I'm thankful for good children's programs if you if you serve in that area of ministry

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God bless you Thank you for ministering to my family But think about it.

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You're gonna go to a church and choose a church for a strong pulpit ministry Because what happens if there's a strong pulpit ministry?

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Well think about 2nd Timothy 3 you can look at it if you'd like to In fact turn to 2nd

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Timothy 3 no turn to 2nd Timothy chapter 4 Here's how I'm gonna pick a church. Here's how

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I'm gonna pick a church now. I want him to have other things I don't want it to only be you know the talking head up front, but it's gonna set the tone for everything else

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And how about this guys? I need a strong pulpit ministry because that is gonna be vital in my spiritual growth

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And if I'm not growing spiritually then how can I lead my family with strong conviction or any kind of backbone?

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I love 2nd Timothy chapter 4 for this reason and other past passages as well

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But in 2nd Timothy chapter 4 you have there in verse 2 where he says preach the word he talks about reprove

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Rebuke exhort with great patience and instruction That's that's what the preacher is supposed to do

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He's supposed to stand up front for everyone to see and for everyone to hear and he proclaims

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He's the herald he preaches the word unvarnished We might say he just lets it rip

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Let the chips fall where they may and as he's doing that if he's a biblical preacher it has a negative tone reprove

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Rebuke nobody likes that exhort more positive

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With great patience and instruction and teaching see I need that you need that too

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Because we haven't arrived yet if we had arrived we would be dead called to glory and so we need a regular ministry in our lives of reproving and rebuking and exhorting with great patience and instruction and Apparently God has seen fit to have that be part of a necessary ingredient in our sanctification

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So I'm gonna choose a church first and foremost and this has happened in my life The piano playing was horrific the piano was missing some of the keys and The piano player missed other keys because they were incompetent in playing

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They had no children's programs at all my wife had to start the children's program if you will and Everything about the church in one sense was a disaster on Tuesday nights in the same building.

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They had taxidermy classes I Kid you not and the door to enter was behind the pastor

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And so if you were like a minute late you walked in behind the guy up front It was it broke every church growth model rule there could ever be

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It was so bad it wouldn't even fit for a merchant it was a disaster but it was the one game in town we could find where the guy stood up and Let it rip and that's what we needed

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Well by the grace of God today that happens to be the church I pastor and I'm very thankful for the children's programs

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And I'm very thankful for all the different things that go on in ministry And it looks a lot different than it did when there were 40 people

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But by the grace of God not because of me or me being there it started with the main thing

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And you got to choose a church based upon the main thing or you are for sure

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Not going to be able to lead because you're not being led And you're not being fed.

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I love Ephesians 4 that he gave Pastors and teachers to equip the Saints for the work of ministry for the building up of the body of Christ Number four a fourth way to fail as a husband and therefore make a disaster of everything and dishonor

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Christ number four one word fornicate

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You will be a failure as a man if you are a fornicator turn to 1st

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Corinthians chapter 6 if you would news flash

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Wives don't follow fornicators you have

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Effectively emasculated your ability to lead in your family with your wife if you are a fornicator

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Greek word pornea Where we get pornography? It's a big broad word for sexual immorality that includes any kind of sexual activity outside of sexual activity with your wife

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So if you want to emasculate your ability to lead then fornicate with another person man or woman through virtual means or With yourself in your bathroom.

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You are a disaster of a leader if that's true about you Because you are a fornicator and Wives don't follow perverts.

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Oh Sure, they might externally follow you But you have

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Castrated yourself to be any kind of real leader and I know that it's an issue

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If it's an issue where I pastor it's an issue here Can't be more serious men

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Do you know what the Bible says in 1st Corinthians 6 9 it's no wonder your wife won't follow you if this is true of you 1st

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Corinthians 6 9 says do you not know? That the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God do not be deceived

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Neither sexually immoral. There's our word for fornicator Nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who practice homosexuality nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor revilers nor swindlers

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Will inherit the kingdom of God Fornicators don't go to heaven

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But pastor, I know that I'm a Christian Fornicators do not inherit the kingdom of God and guess what it means in Greek.

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It means the same thing. It means in English serious business guys

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First Thessalonians 4 3 says this is the will of God your sanctification that you abstain from sexual immorality.

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I know God's will for your life and You know God's will for your life

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Now the great thing about 1st Corinthians 6 as he goes on to say and such were some of you

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The church is filled with former fornicators We all get saved out of some kind of background

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But we do get saved out of some kind of background and such were some of you so you were washed you were cleansed you

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Were sanctified you were justified he talks about that there's absolute forgiveness and there's there's absolute restoration and that's past and So we don't have that that noose around our neck anymore if we're believers

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And this is great news. This is gospel news You don't get saved by being moral.

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You don't get saved. You don't enter into a right relationship with God by stopping your pornea ing but if you are saved by God's grace through faith in Christ and his finished work of life death and resurrection

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Then the pornea in does go as Big of us a struggle as it might be your wife knows that you don't have her best interest in mind

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Your wife knows that you're not in the will of God You're not doing the will of God.

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So why would she want to follow you because you're not following God I'm not the greatest husband my wife were here.

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She'd play Baptist and say amen, but by the grace of God.

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I'm not a pervert And I'm using that word literally to pervert something means to turn it inside out to misuse it and So to that degree

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My wife respects me and follows leadership and it can happen in your life too if it's not already happening

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Just a testimony of grace not a braggart. I have to be honest with you and say this is one of those

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I I don't even want to know about sometimes If I could know Would I dare?

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Find out She makes me want to pray for the men.

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I pastor and the men I do ministry with and for myself Because it's easy to be a fornicator

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But Christ literally is the answer to this sin issue first Corinthians 6 makes it clear

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Let's move on number five We'll come back to sexual issues in a little while but moving on to number five you want to fail as a man you want to fail as a husband

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Believe Robert Fulghum Fulghum Believe Robert Fulghum You get a free no -compromise

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CD if you can tell me who that is Steve Cooley, you're you're like a plant in the audience

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That's right Now is that a public testimony? I For the record

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Steve pastor Steve Cooley says everything he knows he learned in kindergarten, so the diploma needs to come off the wall

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Robert Fulghum wrote that best -selling book everything I Know I learned in kindergarten or something like that, and if you have that mindset

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There's no way you can lead in your home. There's no way you can lead with your wife And it sounds kind of silly at first, but this is going to take us down a profound road

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Especially when it comes to the gospel if you have a kindergarten level of the gospel

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I Know that I know that I know that I know you will not be

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Leading your wife in the way that you can and should Turn with me to Ephesians chapter 5 and let's long for something more than a kindergarten level

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I want to know the gospel not in Some extra biblical way but I want to know it in a biblical way in a deep end of the pool sort of way because knowing the gospel guys and Knowing it well knowing it in a biblical sense is ultimately the key to My leading my wife and in my leading in that relationship, and it is the key in yours to Ephesians chapter 5 is about this issue look at verse 25

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And don't let familiarity with the wording sort of Cause you to check out verse 25 husbands

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Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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That he might sanctify her Having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in Splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and blameless

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That's not kindergarten level stuff That you love your wife as Christ loved the church

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That's not kindergarten stuff at all That that's the object of my greatest pleasure and study to look at Christ and to see what he's done

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And too many times we read that kind of verse and we read it and we say oh, yeah That's a great wedding passage, and I know that that's true pastor

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But just think about the significance of what's going on there How did

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Christ love the church While we were yet sinners Christ died for us last time

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I checked How about Ephesians chapter 2 you were dead in trespasses and sins?

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Right Ephesians 2 1 spiritually dead, but then it's like some bad horror movie

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It's the return of the living dead Could you keep reading in Ephesians Ephesians chapter 2 verse 3 and then it talks about how we walked according to the pretty

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According to how does it go? Course of this world. I want to say Prince of the air, but I was in yeah there we go

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So we actually were alive, but spiritually dead and we were led by Satan like a ring in our nose and Then it says but cross -referencing with Romans Romans chapter 5 enemies of God Christ died for us

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She's too many times We who say oh, we're you know we're committed to the sovereignty of God we believe in total depravity

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We're Augustinian in our soteriology However you want to say it we act in marriage like we are flaming rabid

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Pelagians Armenians you know my wife you know if she just starts doing the right thing

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I'm gonna do the right thing Pelagian You know my wife man

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She's not been very kind to me and she's not been leading in the home with the children the way that she should and she's not submissive to my leadership and You stinking

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Armenian you Is what I want to say You say you have good theology the way you treat your wife proves what kind of theology you have

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While we were yet sinners Spiritual insurrectionists He shows his love and he dies for us.

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It doesn't matter if your wife is the female version of Jabba the Hutt right

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It doesn't matter it doesn't matter if she swears like a sailor and drinks a 12 -pack a day and doesn't do anything

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Because she still is a million times better than you I can guarantee when

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Christ died for you and the text says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church

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So what we don't need probably is another book on marriage and husbands What you probably need is know what you do need

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As a good Christology class a good soteriology class

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What you probably need is John Stott's book the cross of Christ or John Murray redemption accomplished and applied

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Or something like that and someone to say look guys, this is salvation in Christ, isn't it amazing?

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you spiritually were giving God the finger and the stiff arm at the same time and He died for you to save you

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You can love your wife You absolutely can if you understand the gospel the gospel isn't all

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I saw Pat down there and he was so cute I Think since he was reaching out to me.

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I'm gonna reach out to him Yeah, if you think about salvation in those terms your marriage is gonna stink

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While we were yet sinners Christ died for us man. I could love my wife no matter what that means

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And grace upon grace is she's not as bad as I was spiritually when

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Christ died for me Guys go deep when it comes to the gospel go deep when it comes to Christ Don't read

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Ephesians 5 Without reading Ephesians 2 and Then everything changes

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I loved Ephesians I love Ephesians 6 5 or excuse me Ephesians 5 26 so that he might sanctify her spiritual cleansing

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Bringing her from rags to riches He brought purity to her at his own expense a great expense indeed

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You ever stop to think about the fact that there's only one thing that ever cost God anything as far as I know

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He's God nothing ever cost him anything He just speaks it into being

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But it cost him to give up his son And you're called to love your wife as Christ loved the church

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He gave his life Leading your wife loving your wife is gonna be costly

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If not the most costly thing ever Verse 26 also says having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word

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We're not gonna take the time to go there but you could just jot down Ezekiel 16 verses 8 and 9

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Bible scholars tell us that this is probably the imagery he's using from the Old Testament. What's interesting about the imagery is it's this

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Bridal imagery probably borrowed from Ezekiel He bathes his bride with water and washes off the blood and anoints her with oil

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Spiritually unclean Making her spiritually clean number six sixth way

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To fail as husbands would be remember that marriage is 50 -50 So if you've said that before to your wife or to someone else you we have a special prayer room afterward and you can repent

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And confess your sins Remember that marriage is 50 -50. That's what the world will tell you.

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That's what dr. Phil will tell you That's what some Christian books might tell you but if you think marriage is 50 -50.

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You've misread the Bible You've misread the Bible Ephesians 5 25 husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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It's not conditional in any way shape or form you can you can try to find it. Maybe it's in the footnotes in your Bible Maybe a good day to buy a new

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Bible Think there's some back there Because verse 22 if we were doing a women's seminar here wives submit to your own husbands as to the

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Lord that's not conditional either It's only 50 -50 in the sense that there there are two parts

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But it's not 50 -50 as in I'll do my part and then she'll do her part or vice versa

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It's how about this guys do your part? No condition the number one issue in marriage counseling that I've ever experienced is this issue as soon as she

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As soon as he They don't get it It's the number one issue

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Again, you could be married to the female version of Jabba the Hutt and it doesn't matter. God says husbands love your wife

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It's not conditioned upon anything other than being a Christian And if we're a Christian that we get it

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Christ died for his bride while she was anything, but godly and how about this?

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Christ died for his bride when she was anything but submissive To be direct about it.

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That is so helpful It is so freeing It eliminates so much confusion

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And it's once again a gospel issue in our minds Let's move on number seven are we on number seven

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You want to fail man as a as a man as a husband buy plants instead of flowers?

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Buy plants instead of flowers You say what in the world are you talking about turn with me?

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If you would to first Peter you'll see it Or not first Peter chapter 3 if you want to fail by your wife plants instead of flowers

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You say what does this have to do with anything we're gonna talk about Well, that's just a hopefully creative way to set you up for first Peter chapter 3 verse 7

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I remember when my mom used to say if it plugs in it doesn't count as a gift

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So I have taken my mom's advice on that that has nothing well It's kind of related but just keep just store that away guys

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Like a squirrel hiding a little nut away for winter time just keep that in mind when Christmas rolls around First Peter chapter 3 verse 7 says likewise husbands live with your wives in an understanding way

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There it is. Do you see it in Greek? It means by don't buy plants buy flowers

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It doesn't let's keep reading it I'll explain showing honor to the woman as a weaker vessel since they are heirs

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With you of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered What I want you to look at is the beginning

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Husbands live with your wives in an understanding way. That's really point number seven, but I disguised it your wife

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Is different than you are? Praise be to Jesus She's different and God commands you to live with her in an understanding way

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Which apart from the grace of God is impossible? because Who in their right mind?

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would want Flowers that die after a day or two or three or four or five when you could have a plant that lasts, honey

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It's the gift that keeps on giving so I bought you a plant and You are a failure

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Unless you happen to be married to a plant woman If you're married to a plant woman praise

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God you got a good one She's at least semi -rational Point being you need to understand your wife

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You need to understand your wife now praise be to God that this text doesn't say men understand women

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I've only got one right and you've only got one if you're married, but she is

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To be understood by you, and so we say things like study your wife.

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What does she like? What is she like because too many times men what happens is?

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Even though we would never admit it, and we don't really want it We act as if toward our wives

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We would like to be married to a man or a grosser yet married to ourselves

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Women are different than men your wife is different than you. That's what first attracted us

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Humanly speaking it's one of the things And so I say my wife

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Molly is different than I am and I need to appreciate that she's my helper my

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Compliment we work together, so I want her to be different than I am and we are co -heirs before God fellow believers

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And so I'm not gonna look down on her because she's different I'm actually gonna. Thank God that she is different, and we are equal in God's eyes before him.

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This is a good thing Appreciate it and figure her out and live with her as the text says in an understanding way

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One woman said question what makes a man think about a candlelight dinner answer power failure

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You know man my wife would just love it if I led in that way and just Treated her as if she's different than I am

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Your wife probably would too. It's a unique and special thing for us number eight when it comes to failing

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Number eight if you want to fail as a man fail as a husband fail in leading your wife Ready for this one

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Listen to John MacArthur preach dot dot dot

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Lest I get myself in trouble without Watching him live now.

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You can fill in the blank if you are not a MacArthurite or Or a fan you can

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Put someone else in there that you look up to who's? Got a backbone

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When it comes to preaching this relates to living with your wife in an understanding way,

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I think Let's have it be a separate point I Say this from personal experience

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For me I wasn't raised in a Christian home my dad was a leader in a lot of different ways

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But he wasn't a godly leader I get converted much like my brother Mike and the most godly visible man

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I know pretty quickly is John MacArthur and so the tapes come and the tapes you guys know what tapes are some younger guys

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Tapes come and the tapes come and the tapes come and the tapes come and it's great

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You're learning the Bible and you're learning to have strong convictions And you're learning to stand up and be bold and act like a man

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But that was like 1 ,700 miles away Original source from where I was living

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And my wife would testify to the fact that I was in John MacArthur mode 24 -7 you know talking to her

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You know Honey I have a question for you. Ah you know preaching mode

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I Wasn't living with her in an understanding way. I wasn't living a balanced wise life either for that matter

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So you know what you want to do? If the only picture you have let's just use

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Mike for an example. You just see him up here preaching

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I Know he's pretty passive and pretty femi in his preaching style, but let's pretend like he's masculine and bold Let's pretend like you'll call a spade a spade

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How does it go always controversial always And in that order You need to watch

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Mike when he's with his kids He's not in preaching mode And you need to watch

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Mike when he's at home or on a date with his wife It's different because we're not always called to be preaching every moment of every day

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And this is very helpful for me You know to go and and see John MacArthur play with his grandkids

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Watching Finding Nemo of all things where'd he go? Where's the fish you're going? This is shattering every vision of John MacArthur I ever had you know

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This is crazy It's okay to watch

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Finding Nemo, and I'm kidding You'll learn from someone's entire life

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You look at their life, too Or we're out of balance, and we're not living with our wives in an understanding way

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Number nine. I love this one you will too you want to fail at leading your wife and in your home

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Dishonoring Christ Wait till your wife is in the mood you want to not lead then wait till your wife is in the mood

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Specifically if she's seldom in the mood first Corinthians chapter 7

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This is when you want to take notes on guys and take home and share man Let me tell you when

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I did this at Omaha Bible Church I heard about it the next Sunday and all kinds of wives looking to me Thankfully they were grinning

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First Corinthians chapter 7 if your wife is seldom in the mood let me put it this way guys

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I'll just say it now you need to get her in the mood I'm not saying you need to be a jerk in Command mode

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Rambo But you need to get her in the mood live with her in an understanding way fruit of the

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Spirit love joy peace patience kindness gentleness self -control

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Right remember first Peter remember of Galatians 5 But don't pretend like first Corinthians 7 is the only chapter in the

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Bible. I know guys like that and they're jerks You don't do that but don't act like First Peter is the only chapter in them.

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Don't forget about first Corinthians 7. What does it say there? Says in verse 3 the husband should give his give to his wife her conjugal rights

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Why did the ESV translate it that way who here has ever used the word conjugal if you're not an attorney?

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It's just silly I Love the translation, but yeah, we conjugate verbs.

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We don't we don't we don't conjugate our wives Silly But we get the idea

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I guess man the husband should give to his wife her rights Right sexually is what he's talking about and likewise the wife to her husband

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We all are Baptist when it comes to that passage And we say amen verse 4 for the wife does not have authority over her own body

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But the husband does Amen, come on guys

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We need way more seminars if that's what you're gonna give me Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does the

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Bible does teach mutual submission In the bedroom is where it teaches mutual submission, and I'm serious verse 5 do not deprive one another in other words stop doing that Except perhaps by agreement for a limited time don't shut that off And you may that you may devote yourselves to prayer

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But then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self -control physical

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Relationship is to be a regular part of your marriage Might look different different seasons in life different ages.

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I understand that But intimacy with your wife is to be a regular part of your life

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Apparently to the point where you say oh, you know we just need to stop doing this and we just need to pray for a while Would it be okay if we just prayed tonight?

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I? Just must not be very godly, but it's never come to that for me But you get the idea this is this is a regular issue

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This is a regular thing let Satan tempt you and I trust that's not the only reason

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We song of Solomon would talk about pleasure and other issues But guys if you're always waiting to your wife is in the mood, and she's seldom in the mood there's a problem, and this is where we want to tie some things together that don't fornicate and and and don't be

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Constantly abstaining they relate to each other you know If you're godly when it comes to purity your wife is going to be obviously more attracted to you because you're committed

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And you're saving yourself for her there might be some repairing to do along the way after repentance, but One fuels the other or maybe we might say they complement each other again.

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I know that when a wife Knows her husband is by the grace of God seeking to be honoring to Christ and her when it comes to Sexuality She's gonna be much more

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Interested she's gonna be much more open to first Corinthians chapter 7 so keep that in mind

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But again, I'll say it again because I have already seen it, and I've seen the disaster guys Please please please don't treat first Corinthians 7 as if it's the only chapter in the

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Bible. It's not wife

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Me Tarzan you Jane don't be doing that when you go home and say the pastor said

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Love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and gentleness and Self -control the fruit of the

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Spirit evidences that you are a Christian, and it shows up in a lot of places But it should show up in your relationship to your wife is okay

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Just quickly to close out, and then we'll take a break number 10 a surefire way to fail would be play more video games

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That would be a good way to fail That's on my list because of marriage counseling at Omaha Bible Church How about this?

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I'll tell you a funny story a husband and wife They don't have video games in their house and the husband's not into video games and the kids the daughters really aren't into video games either and They're doing marriage counseling for a couple and and the wife of the person getting the counseling

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Is going on and on about her husband in the video games She's just about had it, but he didn't she didn't call it video games

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She'd call it Xbox and my husband has got this Xbox problem And it's Xbox this and it's

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Xbox that and he doesn't come to bed at night, and he stays up late Xboxing and the elder and his wife are listening and the elders understanding what

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Xbox is but the wife is thinking Xbox This is horrible

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I can't believe this man is that into Xbox and and they're talking well.

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She had no idea was a video game But point being this is coming up more and more in marriage counseling because Men are not

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Communicating and living with their wives in an understanding way and all they want to do is do virtual living guys turn it off already

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Everything can be used for the glory of God whether you eat drink or whatever you do including Xbox right for the glory of God first Corinthians chapter 10 but things can be out of balance and your wife is more important than that and so be wise number 11 keep watching

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King of Queens If Doug is your role model your marriage is gonna be pretty bad

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Number 12 not because it's not important, but we'll just keep it brief in light of the upcoming session ignore the kids

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Ignore the kids your wife is smart enough to know that God has given you the responsibility of Leading the children and if you're not doing that then she doesn't have a lot of respect for you and therefore

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It's really hard for her to follow you because you're not even doing what you're supposed to be doing in leading the family

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Let's end on that note take another 10 -minute break 10 -minute break and then we'll be back together.

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Is that it? I'll pray first So it's 1030. We'll be back together in 10 minutes get something to drink check out the books.

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Let's pray again God Thank you for the opportunity. We have to laugh together about certain things, but some of these things are

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Not laughable Just thinking about the men who are here and having no idea what goes on behind the scenes and secretively

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Lord made this be a time where we even talk about spiritual things together This would not be a time when during breaks we only talk about games and we only talk about weather but that we would be willing to talk about Christ and the need for Christ and we would be willing to Confess our sins to one another and this would be a great great date on the calendar here in 2010 where Where Christ was once not honored

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Christ would be honored He would be glorified and he would be magnified in the way we relate to our wives and that we would think clearly and profoundly about Christ and his grace and his gospel and That it would show up in our marriages