The Family that Honors God

The Family Under the Lordship of Christ

If you're so able, please turn to Ephesians chapter 5, and I'm actually going to read, starting in verse 20, and please do stand for the reading of God's Word. Again, Ephesians chapter 5, starting in verse 20, Hear ye this morning the word of the Lord, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as a church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he may present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

Therefore, man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself.

Let the wife see that she respects her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise, that they may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This is the reading of God's word. May he bless it. You may be seated. Father, I do ask your blessing over the preaching of your word, that it would go forth in power and authority, not null and void.

But we pray, God, that you would give us ears to hear and hearts to receive, that which you have laid before us this morning. We pray, Lord, for the children that are here, that they too would learn to listen, to hear, and to put into practice that most precious word and commands.

We pray, God, that you would edify your church by means of this word. We pray these things in Christ's name. Amen. So, friends, we want to share with you another message about family. And you may be wondering to yourself, if you're a single person, or if you don't have kids yet, you may be asking, well, what does this have to do with me?

Well, there's a lot of things in scripture that doesn't necessarily have to pertain to you personally. And yet, it is the word of the Lord. But I would go so far as to venture to say that this word, even yes, applies to you, who have no children, or who are not married yet.

This word is also for you. But also, kind of importantly, this message is for the children. This message is for the little ones in our midst. We're a young church, and we have a lot of young people, a lot of young children in our church.

And so this word is for them as well. As you can imagine, I've been prepping my kids all week to sit and behave well in the arrangement here, and also to listen carefully to the word that I'm about to preach.

It's not something that they haven't heard before. But indeed, in this context of the preaching of God's word on Sunday, I pray that this would fall on good soil in the hearts of our little ones. As we just read through Ephesians 5, verse 20, all the way to chapter 6, verse 4, I want you to recognize the theme.

Christ’s Lordship Over the Family

Really the theme of this entire series on Ephesians so far. And it lays its foundation on the supremacy and lordship of Jesus Christ. I want you to know, if you don't know already, Jesus Christ is Lord.

He is Lord over everything. He is Lord over everybody. He is Lord over every circumstance. And He is Lord, yes, even over our families. God is the one who has created and instituted this blessing that we call family.

He instituted it all the way back in creation. In Genesis 2 and 3, we see that God made man in His image. He then goes on to create woman out of the side of the man. And from those two comes this procreation of the family of children.

In Genesis 5, it says that God made Adam and Eve in His image. And then it goes on to say that Adam and Eve went on to procreate after their own image. There's a beautiful metaphor at play there. In Genesis 1 and 2 and then in chapter 5.

Using this imagery of images. That your children are an image of you. Just like we are an image of our parents. But most importantly, we all share this common image in humanity in terms of the image of God.

We all bear God's image. It's not until you become a parent that you begin to understand the gravity of sin. When it comes in relation to image bearers of the Most High God. It's one thing for a creature that you created to rebel against you.

It's another thing when that creature bears your image. When that creature bears your face. In the same way, when you see other kids doing wrong, you might laugh at it. You might think that's funny, that's comical.

Or, you know, those parents have a tough time. But then when it's your own children. The children that have your face. And they do wrong against you and they sin against you. Boy, it's another level of hurt.

That's another level of depth to that pain. And so, we also get to see an image of God's heart. When He sees His image bearers, His children, sin, rebel, curse Him. Because we bear the image of Almighty God.

But even so, Satan, our enemy, is at work. I don't even think I have to convince you on that front anymore. All you have to do is turn on the news. All you have to do is go on social media. See the silliness and the depravity in our social discord.

Satan is at work in this wicked age. And he is working to dismantle the family unit. He's done so by undermining the order of headship. A couple of weeks ago, we spoke upon God's word in Ephesians 5, verse 22 and onward.

Which talks about the structure for the home. And one of the enemies of the biblical model of headship is the error of egalitarianism. That affirms, to some degree, that men and women are both equally worthy of dignity, honor and respect.

But no one would disagree with that. But, egalitarianism takes it another step further, along with modern feminism. By saying that not only are we equal, but actually in reality, whatever a man can do, a woman can do too.

And maybe even better. Also, and I'm not denying that that may be true in certain respects. My wife can certainly cook better than me. That's not in question. But in terms of the order of headship, of removing the man, the father, the head of the household, as the right and biblical head under the lordship of Jesus Christ.

We have all of these modern issues that have arisen in terms of the culture wars, in terms of societal breakdown. Where most families now are having to have two incomes to work. And a mother is not rearing her children at home, instead has to do daycare.

And those are things that are not necessarily sinful in their own right or wrong in their own right. Every family has different circumstances. But I'm talking about greater degree as to the system that has been produced out of this egalitarian model of society.

And Satan is at work in undermining headship. He's undermining men and women in our culture. One of the ways that he's doing so is by emasculating men. Making it difficult for men to be men. Demonizing men for being men.

And calling things that were at one time noble, toxic masculinity. You know, it wasn't that long ago where if you opened a door for a woman at the restaurant or something, that was chivalrous. And that was something that was to be good and to be upheld.

And yet now if you open a door, a modern woman might tell you something not so nice. She might say, who do you think you are? You think I can't open a door? And yet, of course, that's not what we're talking about.

That's not what we're trying to do. Instead, we see this culture is being enslaved by the attacks of the enemy. By emasculating men, feminizing men in the culture. I'm not so much into pop culture or news.

But there's an article that I read recently that was praising this one musician for wearing a dress. He was a man, and he was wearing a dress. And they were saying how brave he was and how wonderful it is that he's breaking those societal norms.

Those societal norms are what built this nation, and it's what built Western civilization. And undoing those things would be the very undoing of our own civilization here in the West. As we see it happening already in many places across the world and in Europe.

We would do well to remember who created the family. Who created the order. Who created and who is Lord over even the family unit. Satan has done a great job of enslaving a generation to pornography and entertainment.

And as a result, producing docile men who cannot lead spiritually. Men, you need to recognize this. In terms of spiritual warfare. Family warfare is spiritual warfare. Leading your family is spiritual warfare.

Contending for your children is spiritual warfare. Building yourself up as a man looking to be married, that is spiritual warfare. Ladies, leading, loving your children is spiritual warfare. If you're a single woman, preparing yourself for holy matrimony, for honoring the Lord, whatever your lot may be in life.

That is also spiritual warfare. Recognize that we are in a war. Ephesians chapter 6, later on we're going to see how Paul ties all these things together. And brings it under the umbrella of spiritual warfare.

But do not be deceived. We are in a time of war. We're in a time of spiritual war. And recognize that Jesus Christ is Lord. And he has already won the battle. Amen? So write that in there if you haven't already in the first part of our teaching this morning.

Jesus Christ is Lord over the family unit. There will be a day in history when the Lord shall descend from heaven. Break forth through the sky. Every eye shall see him. And every tongue shall confess him as Lord.

Those on earth, in heaven, underneath the earth, in the sea. All that is created shall bow the knee and confess with their tongue. The Lordship of King Jesus. As members of the Christian Church, we make this profession now.

And we make it clear that Jesus Christ is Lord even now. That he's Lord over my family. He's Lord over my life. He's Lord over my finances. Over my ability to work or not work. Over every single aspect of life.

Jesus Christ is Lord. And with that acknowledgement, we can begin to win the war. The war for our families. We see in Ephesians 6, verse 1, a new command. Not so much a new command in that it is totally new.

But a command as now Paul has addressed the family unit in the father and the wife. Now he is addressing the children in this aspect in chapter 6, verses 1 -4. Starting with verse 1. Children. So listen up, kids.

Listen. Children. Obey your parents. Children, obey your parents. In the Lord. In the Lord. It is so important that we recognize that Christ has instituted for us this beautiful gift of family. And in that family, he has made for there to be a father and a mother.

And children are a result of that beautiful union. And out of that beautiful union, these children are to be raised in a certain way. They are to be raised in the Lord. In the Lord. Now, I've got four kids.

It's not easy to keep a child's attention. It's not easy to always teach a child the things of the Lord. Because especially in this day and age, there are so many other things that are vying for your child's attention.

Computers, tablets, phones, video games. All forms of entertainment are vying for your children's attention. And there's often time if you're doing maybe family worship as we teach in this church and as we encourage you to do.

Maybe there's times where your children don't even want to pay attention because they want to do something else. It takes patience. It takes time. It takes discipline to rear our children in the way of the Lord.

But notice the emphasis ought to be in the Lord. To teach our children about Christ. To lead them to Jesus. That they may see the riches of His glory, of His wisdom, of His might, of His Lordship over not just our lives but theirs.

And give them a desire and help them to develop this desire to know Jesus even more fully. I'm reminded of a circumstance that happened to my oldest son this summer when he had his surgery. And he had some recovery time.

And as he was in the hospital, as soon as he started to gain consciousness, he was asking the nurse how things went. And the nurse was encouraging him and saying, he's like, well, I'm just so glad. Can I tell you something, nurse?

And he says, I just want to tell you about Jesus. I just want to tell you about Jesus. And as a father hearing that, that makes my heart very glad. Because we're not responsible over our child's salvation.

The Lord is. We're responsible to a point. But the Lord is the one who brings salvation. And it's a beautiful thing when our children can make a profession of faith. And also have that innate desire to just share Jesus and tell other kids about Jesus.

I was kind of like that myself. I grew up as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. And though I didn't know the Lord in my early years, I sure had a desire to know the Lord. And I wanted to know a lot about Jehovah.

And so from a young age, I remember being even in first grade, kindergarten. And we would have this time to, we can draw a picture of any story. And we can basically like make our own little story. And so what I decided to do is just going to tell the story of Noah's Ark.

So I drew a picture of the ark and the flood. And then I wrote the story underneath. And I talked about Noah's Ark. And I got to share it with the whole class. And I was always constantly sharing messages of faith to young people and to my peers.

And then when I became a Christian at the age of 16, this week actually, in about four days, it will be 14 years since I decided to walk with Jesus and the Lord decided to sovereignly save me. And it has been a privilege unlike any other.

Let me tell you this, young people. There is no greater life than knowing Jesus Christ. There is no greater path that you can take in life than to know Jesus and to make him known. This is the greatest gift and the greatest life that we can choose.

And that the Lord can bestow upon us through his sovereign grace. Yet here there's some strong implications in Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1 for children to obey, to honor their parents. And this stems from what we find in Deuteronomy 6, 5 verse 16, Exodus chapter 20 verse 12 in regard to the fifth commandment.

The fifth commandment being the one of promise. To honor your father and your mother. I want you to write this word in honor. The fifth commandment is for children to honor their parents. Now we want our children to know Jesus.

And in turn by knowing Jesus they will become more like Jesus. Because the same spirit that saved you from your depravity. Who laid in you that good deposit, that good word. That is now changing you, molding you, transforming you, sanctifying you.

By means of the power of the indwelling of his spirit. Is the same spirit that can be alive and active and well in the lives of our children. And it's in the lives of our children that we want to see Jesus work the most.

But we want to see our children have an innate natural desire for the things of God. And yet this comes only if the commandment is being followed. And if the Lord Jesus be at work in our family, in the lives of our children.

You see I want you to know this one that Jesus set the perfect standard for humanity. You know Jesus Christ who was God in eternity past. Who stepped into his own creation, became flesh and dwelt among us.

That even this one was at one time a little child, even a babe. And he too had to learn to walk, to stand, to read, to write, to speak. And yes even to listen and obey his parents. He learned obedience the scripture says.

He learned obedience as the perfect man, as the perfect Adam. In the same way Jesus isn't just a model for us to follow. In terms of being adults we tend to think of the gospel narratives. And we look at Jesus and we say okay well I want to model Jesus, I want to be like Jesus.

Well notice too that model extends even into children. Because he too was a child. And when we look at the story of Jesus, the only one mentioned in scripture. When Christ was a child he goes into the temple.

Complex. And what does he do? He begins to teach. He begins to preach. He begins to demonstrate the qualities of one who is filled with the spirit. Jesus also when asked by his parents, he said he was about his father's business.

What a blessing that is. To know the father's business, to be part of the father's business. And this begins by children honoring, obeying their parents. See Jesus walked in the spirit. He lived a spirit filled life and he kept the commandment with a promise.

And he was submissive to his earthly parents. Christ again is not just a model for adults but for children also. So to the children I say to you this morning. Children, little ones, walk as Jesus walked.

Learn from the great teacher, from the great rabbi, even Jesus Christ. And learn to listen, learn to behave, and learn to walk even as Jesus walked. What does a spirit filled life look like for your children?

What does a spirit filled life look like for you? It looks like Jesus. It looks like Jesus. Every member of the family has a role in living out this spirit filled and spirit called life of being a Christian.

But it begins for the children in the fifth commandment to honor your father and your mother. Now this extends not only for the little ones but us for adults as well. If we are privileged enough to have living parents, we are to remember.

We're to honor them, respect them. At all stage of life. And remember them in times of difficulty. You know I wish my mother was nearby because I'd love to take care of her. My older sister has the privilege of doing so.

But it really would be just that, a privilege to take care of the one who took care of you. While you were in infancy, while you were a child. Do not forsake your parents. Do not forsake those whom the Lord has entrusted now in your care.

What a blessing it is to be able to be a blessing to those who blessed us and gave us the gift of life. I want you to follow along now in verse 1 and 2 again in Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1 through 2. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.

Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise. If you're following along the commandment comes with a, I want you to write in promise. Now what is the promise? That is being promised in the fifth commandment.

Well let's look for a moment at Deuteronomy chapter 6. Let's examine the commandment of our Lord. Chapter 5 of Deuteronomy. Deuteronomy chapter 5 verse 16. The fifth commandment, honor your father and your mother as the Lord your God commanded you.

That your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. Now this commandment comes with a promise. And that promise is clearly laid out for us. Here in verse 16.

That your days may be what? Long. The blessing of obedience brings forth a good and long life. It's like we tell our children to when they're crossing the street that they should do what? Look both ways.

Because if you don't look both ways and you're not being attentive. There's a huge chance that a car or a truck can come and do harm to you. If you listen, there is blessing. If you do not listen, if you do not obey, there is the curse of death that awaits you.

Therefore God says that your days may be long. And that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. The commandment comes with a promise. And this promise is one of blessing.

I want you to write that in there. It's one of blessing. And it's one also of inheritance. I want you to write that in there as well. Notice what was at stake for this commandment. That if they obeyed, if they followed, if they honored their father and their mother as the Lord God commanded them.

That it may go well with you in the land. In the land. That's the inheritance of the land that God promised the Israelites. Now as Christians, we've inherited a better land. A better nation. A heavenly one according to Hebrews chapter 11 verse 16.

And we wait and long for that better country. Ours is an inheritance onto eternal life. Yet the principle still stands even for us in the new covenant. That for us to obey not only the word of the Lord but also to honor our family.

Honor our father and our mother. That we have this inheritance that awaits for us. It's inheritance of blessing. It's inheritance of that heavenly gift. Not by any work that we can do or muster but only through grace.

By faith in Jesus Christ. But yet we see this promise. Accompanied with this commandment of blessing and inheritance. We're commanded to honor our parents. Again, at all stages of life. In verse 3 of Ephesians.

I want you to keep a finger in Deuteronomy though. And back in Ephesians chapter 6 verse 3 it says. Again quoting from the fifth commandment. That it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

This is what it means by the promise. That it may go well with you. Blessing and inheritance in the land. Honoring our parents at all stages of life can bring forth longevity. I want you to write this in there in the next bullet point.

Honoring our parents at all stages of life can bring forth longevity. Why is that? Well brethren, our parents have lived a longer life than we have. They've experienced more things than we have. They may know a few more things than you do.

They may be able to speak into your life in a way that only they can. Because of their experience. But also because of the love and the relationship that they have and have built with you over so many years.

It is truly a treasure to have parents. Parents who love the Lord and serve the Lord. I myself don't have that privilege. As both my mother and my father are not Christians. Instead they follow the false religion of Jehovah's Witnesses.

And yet, even then, my mother is such a wellspring of knowledge. She knows the Bible better than most Christians do. And so even when we talk now, we can still have interesting discussions and dialogue.

And when it comes to things of family, she always says, I'm going to pray for you. And I say, I'm always going to pray for you mom. I'm going to pray for you. And yet we can have a discussion that is civil and still to some degree based on God's word.

But to some degree I want that so bad for my parents to know Jesus. And I know that election is not up to human will or my will. But here's what I can do. You know what I can do? I can be a Christian for my children and for their children and for their children's children.

So that now, by the grace of God, me being the first Christian in a generation in my family. That now, generations from now, children with my last name will be worshiping Jesus Christ. That's my aim. That's my goal.

I may not have believing parents, but I want to be a believing parent for them. And I want to be a believing parent for their children and their children's children. And leave forth a godly legacy that they can build on.

Because the days are evil, brethren. The days are wicked. And it's only going to increase. We have to, as the church, as the people of God, lay forth a strong, solid, biblical foundation. You know what I love about this church is that I think we get that.

Unfortunately, a lot of churches in America don't necessarily see it that way. This is a church that I just recently came from in Wisconsin. Had a brother there who I was talking about generational work.

And he said, I'm not worried about that. I said, what do you mean you're not worried about that? I said, we're going to be out of here. We're going to be raptured. And I said, brother, that is exactly why the church has lost so much ground in the last 70 years in America.

It's because of that mentality like that. That mentality that, hey, we're not going to be around. We're going to be gone. We're going to be out of here. The Antichrist, you know, there's a red heifer that was born in Jerusalem.

There's going to be a temple there and all this nonsense. Bad eschatology produces bad ecclesiology. It does not produce good fruit. Therefore, brethren, recognize the times and seasons that we are in.

That we may be in the time of the end, but we may also be in the long haul, the long stretch of history. And the Lord may not be here as soon as maybe we may think. Whatever the case may be, whether he should come soon or whether he should tarry, we ought to be ready to lay a foundation, a generational foundation of people with our face, people with our image, people with our last names, that they would come to know and serve Jesus Christ generations from now.

Amen? That's the generational blessing of knowing Jesus and bringing forward that blessing to our children. It is a promise of blessing and inheritance. And God has indeed given us this word so that we may have longevity.

He, our Lord, is indeed our longevity in the length of our days. It says in Proverbs chapter 1, if you can turn there very quickly. Many of you may know this text well. In Proverbs, the first chapter.

I'm going to actually start with verse 7. Very well-known text. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear, my son, your father's instruction. Forsake not your mother's teaching.

For they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. If we follow the commandments, if we follow what the Lord has spoken to us by means of his inspired word to Solomon in the book of Proverbs.

Hear, my son, your father's instruction. Forsake not your mother's teaching. We have much to learn, brothers and sisters. Children, we have much to learn. Much to grow into. Much to look forward to. But we must honor, listen, respect our parents.

And there is a blessing of longevity, promise of blessing and inheritance that awaits you. In verse 4 of Ephesians 6, there's another important word here that should not be overlooked. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and in the instruction of the Lord.

Parents as Models of Christlike Discipline

Here's where it gets interesting. Children are to obey, but fathers and mothers are to set an example worth obeying. It's very important. We, as parents, have to be the model for our children. Because for the first five, six years of their lives, we are essentially the only model that they have.

Unless maybe there's grandparents or lots of social settings. But for the most part, predominantly, we are the model that they will look to. And they will either see Christ, or they'll see the world. Or something else.

Or dysfunction. Or hurt. Or bad habits. And those things do not produce good fruit. So fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. That is to say this. Remember, your children, they bear your face.

There's nothing like it when your child who bears your face, who bears your image, when they curse you or when they love you. When a child gives you that beautiful, pure love, there's just nothing like it in the world.

But when a child rebels against you, also, nothing like it in the world. It is very easy to be provoked to anger as a father. When that child who bears your face, who you feed, who you care for, they're living under your roof.

You're paying all the bills. You've got all the responsibility. And they dare lift a finger against me, their father? Who do they think they are? I feel like I was just having this conversation the other day.

Who do you think you are to speak to me that way? And yet, be reminded of the loving kindness of God. That you, dear brother and sister, are an image bearer of the Most High God. You bear His face. You curse Him.

You abandon Him. You walk away from His law, from His precepts. You do what is right in your own eyes all the time. And yet, He loves you. He's patient with you. He's long-suffering with you. In the same way, we ought to, fathers, emulate our Heavenly Father in His patience, His kindness, His mercy, His gentleness towards us.

That we ought to also extend that towards our children. That is not to mean that we spare the rod. You spare the rod, you spare the child. But in the same time, you ought to have and you ought to rear your children with God's love and mercy and view.

This is our command as fathers, as mothers, not to provoke your children to anger. For anger and wrath are emotions that cause and bring forth resentment. And the last thing we want to do is cause our children to resent us and to resent the Lord.

We have to do all that we can to set a good model for them. And it's not easy. This is not easy. This is not easy work. You know, it's easier, really, when kids are babies. When they're just, they just have, you know, three needs.

But as they get older, more complex, more emotions, more needs, more desires. This work only increases in its difficulty. Therefore, fathers and mothers, persevere. Be a good image of Jesus Christ to them.

And if you are not a father or mother yet, prepare yourself in such a way that you be sanctified in such a way that when those children come into your life, you're able to lead them to the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ.

But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This is our aim. Not to bring our children to a place of resentment against the church, against you, against Christ. But instead, that we instruct them gently, just as we would of an unbeliever.

Just as we would to anyone out there in the world. That we would gently lead them to unsaving knowledge and faith in Jesus Christ. Disciplining them and instructing them in the ways of the Lord. I want you to write this in.

The second to last bullet point, I don't think I finished that part. Honoring our parents at all stages of life can bring forth longevity and wisdom. Now for the next part, parents are responsible for instructing.

Parents, you have a responsibility. It's to instruct. And we must instruct and help, by God's help, produce good listeners and good children. Bunyan's signal reflection was that we depend on God first and foremost by hearing.

Bunyan's example of hearing is very important because it's what we see laid out in scripture often. You've heard of the Shema, the greatest commandment. The Lord our God said, listen, O Israel. Shema, O Israel.

Yahweh, our God, is one Yahweh. It's to Shema, it's to listen, to hear. You know, Jesus often would use something similar. When you read the Gospels and you see where Jesus says, truly, truly, I say to you, or verily, verily, I say to you.

It's in the Greek, it's amen, amen. It's an emphasis, like listen, listen. Amen, listen. God wants you to be a good listener. And he wants you to produce good listeners as well. So parents are responsible for instructing our children.

One of the ways we do so is by producing good listeners. Children who are attentive to listening to the word of the Lord, listening to the things that are of God. Producing in them a desire to not only hear the word of God, but then eventually being able to put it into practice.

Because our children will not always be under our care. There will come a day in which they'll be on their own. And they'll have to make those decisions on their own. And you won't be there to protect them.

And it's only by good instruction and discipline that they will choose to walk in the right way. In the newness of life that we have been called to through Jesus Christ. Therefore, brethren, we want to have a generational view of rearing our children.

I want to end with one text of scripture in Deuteronomy chapter 6. Do turn there, we won't be turning back to Ephesians. Notice after the Lord God gave forth the Ten Commandments to his people Israel.