Honor and Nurture in the Lord

Please stand for the reading of God's word. The Old Testament reading will be from Deuteronomy 21, 18 through 21.

If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives.

And they shall say to the elders of his city, this is our son, is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice.

He is a glutton and a drunkard. Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones.

So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear and fear.

Please remain standing. New Testament reading is

Colossians 3, 18 through 25. Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting to the

Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the

Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they get discouraged. Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye service as people pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the

Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men.

Knowing that from the Lord, you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the

Lord Christ, for the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.

You may be seated. Well, thank you for your singing.

Open your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 6, please. Ephesians chapter 6. After being a few weeks away, it feels great to be back and worship with you all, and I'm looking forward to continuing now in chapter 6 of Ephesians.

So we're in Ephesians 6, and I'll read

Ephesians 5, 21 through Ephesians 6, 1 through 4, just to get the whole flavor of the family.

So Ephesians 5, verse 21. Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the

Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his body, his wife, loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it, cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Chapter six, verse one. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Honor your father and your mother, this is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but rather bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the

Lord. Let us pray. Oh, Father in heaven, you are so good to your people, your covenant people that you have chosen before time began, and have brought out from darkness into light.

And you've brought us into this place in which through Jesus Christ, we can live differently than what we have been tempted and sinned to follow

Satan and the kingdom of darkness. You have brought us out of that condition.

God in heaven, what a great delight it is to live this life following Jesus, who truly cares for us, and turning away from Satan, who wants nothing but bad for us.

So I pray, God, that you would remind us today of your grace and mercies. I pray, God, that you remind us of the teachings and commands of Jesus Christ.

And you would show us again, Lord, how our strength is found in him, and how there is nothing but death found in our sin, but nothing but life found in our dear savior, our husband, the one who loves us and has redeemed us from the penalties of the law, and has given us a new heart of new obedience.

So may we see that here in this aspect of the family. May we be encouraged by it.

May we then be strengthened to walk boldly, moving forward, not of our own strength, but the strength that Christ has provided.

We thank you and we praise you for him today. In Jesus' name, amen. Well, again, we are nearing the end of this book, this beautiful book, the book of Ephesians, in which we have seen the, if you remember, the indicatives of what

Jesus has done for his people, how he has died for them and rose again for them, how he has enabled them to live a different life.

And this different life is defined in the land of the imperatives or of the commands of the scriptures of Ephesians, the last three chapters of this book.

If you remember this land of the imperatives or lands of the commands of Jesus that we can do by his power, we are in this major section of the family.

Yes, the family is commanded to live a certain way. The family is a vital function or vital organ in society and the church.

And so we've been looking at, in light of Jesus Christ and his work of grace, he has commanded us to look or act differently in our family units.

We saw that in this family section of the imperatives, we saw that the marriage relationship can be a flourishing one in the land of the imperatives in light of Jesus Christ.

It can be a flourishing one only if the roles are being followed by each person in that marriage.

We saw how wives need to submit to their husbands as to Christ, and we saw that husbands need to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

And we see that when those roles are working together, you have a flourishing marriage, you have a flourishing family in the

Christian home. And now we go to Ephesians 6, in which we're still in that family mindset, but now instead of the relationship between husband and wives, now flowing forth from that is a relationship with parents and children.

And we see that just like there is an ability in the imperative land of the gospel, just like there's ability for the marriage to be flourishing so, believe it or not, there is an ability for the parent -child relationship to flourish as well.

And isn't that a statement? Because if one thing we hear so much is that just wait till the teenage years and that will just, the relationship will be gone, right?

But the Bible doesn't know that at all. That is a worldly construct that in the scriptures, in the land of imperatives, does not exist as hard as that may be for our brains to comprehend in our own time.

In fact, we see that there could be a flourishing parent -children relationship which then causes the child to grow up and flourish as well.

Look at that fruit that we see in verse three. Look at that in chapter six, verse three.

That it may go well with you, children, you child, and that you may live long in the land.

And there he's quoting the Old Testament law, but he's kind of making it Christianized, if I may use that word, by saying it's not a you may live long in Canaan or the promised land, but in the land in general.

You can have this promise that it could go well with you and you may live long in the land, but it is determined by how the child does in his role in the parent -child relationship.

I mean, and look at that again. Who doesn't want that? Any parent that you know, who doesn't want it to go well with their child and they live long in the land?

Who doesn't want that? What kind of parent wouldn't want that for their child, whether you're a believer or non -believer? Essentially, what

Paul and the promise is saying there is that you'd be happy. It would go well with you.

You'd be happy and you would live long. That's what's being said there. What parent doesn't look at their baby and their child and think,

I want this child to be happy, to grow up happy and live long? And what child doesn't want that themselves?

But yet, if there's anything that we see in society is that children more and more are not happy and they're not growing up happy either.

We see more and more that our children are even dying younger and younger from suicide, from drugs, from crime, from all the things that are a result of not being happy.

And so we see that in the land of the imperatives, there's this, this is what must be done and we get this blessed fruit of happiness and long life and we see that is completely vacant in our world today because just as marriage needs to have both parties playing their roles to flourish, right?

Submission and loving. So parent -child relationship needs to have both roles playing their part in which we'll see a growth of this verse three that would go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

So that's what we're gonna look at this morning. We're gonna look at that blessed fruit and we see that it's done whenever both people are playing their roles.

Both children are playing their roles and parents are playing their roles, right? And we'll see the spiritual fulfillment of being happy in Christ and eternal life in him.

So what is the child's role for his happiness and long life? What is his role?

We'll look at what Paul says in verse one. He says, children, obey your parents.

We see when that is the cornerstone of the role, we see why there's a problem, don't we?

When we're talking about children being happy, long life, why is that happening?

Why are children so unhappy? And we see that the role, the major role is that they would obey their parents.

We see why there's kind of like a problem there because our society barely accepts obedience or downright rejects obedience instead of what needs to be done here is it needs to be celebrated by children.

Yes, obeying your parents is not just something that you barely accept or certainly not disavow altogether, but you must actually celebrate it in order to have this beautiful fruit of being happy and long life.

See, we live in a highly individualized and hyper freedom society, and that doesn't spell well for obedience, does it?

Whenever you are so concerned as a society of being individualized and free, typically obedience to authority is not celebrated at all.

You see, in our society, in our psyche, everything begins and ends with personal happiness.

Everything begins and ends with personal happiness. So if obedience means not immediate happiness, it's not gonna happen.

That's why, let's give an example, one reason why you see so many tablets in restaurants. Okay, I know that kind of went a weird direction there, but that's why you see so many tablets in restaurants because whenever you're sitting in the restaurant with kids, you don't, there's no language in our society that says sit and be obedient for obedience sake.

It is comply and I'll give you something immediately for that to happen, that is entertainment.

And so there is no language for the idea of a child just being able to sit there without immediate gratification so that they'll comply.

There is no obedience in our DNA anymore. That's one reason why you see so many tablets in restaurants and that's just one example.

How much do we rely upon immediate gratification for our children to comply? Instead of just obeying for obedience sake, instead of prizing obedience, like it will give something in a future date, perhaps not in the immediate moment, but there's a prize to be had overall.

See, children are being taught to comply only if it offers immediate gratification instead of for obedience sake.

And so we gotta understand here that a child's journey to a long and happy life does not begin with a selfish pursuit of it.

Immediate gratification, happiness now, but instead with a selfless obedience to parents.

You see, it's hard for us to kind of get that in our minds because it is good for us to have the fruit of happiness and long life.

Happiness is good. But we cannot say, if you comply,

I'll give you that gratification in the moment right away. Because again, a child's journey to a long and happy life does not begin with selfish pursuit of it, but with a selfless obedience to parents, wanting to obey for obedience sake, not because it gives instant gratification.

In fact, oftentimes your child has to give up instant gratification. Children, a lot of times you have to give up your instant gratification to prize obedience to your parents.

And so that's, we see here, why aren't our children living long? Why aren't they happy?

Because we have lost this cornerstone role for them of obeying their parents and prizing that above everything.

Instead, we give in to this mentality that there needs to be instant gratification, freedom from obedience, and highly individualized nature of our society, which it does not warrant that obedience that Paul is detailing here.

Notice, it's interesting, he says, he says again, looking at verse one, he says, children, obey your parents.

Notice that in the Lord. Now in the Lord, we're gonna kind of take a little detour as we're looking at that. I don't wanna lose that main thrust of instant gratification and obedience for obedience sake.

But we'll just take a little detour. In verse one, he says, obey your parents in the Lord. Now what does he mean by in the

Lord there? Well, it's not obey, you know, some people read that and they think, well, he's saying that only those commands that parents give that is from the

Lord that they can obey. Now that's true. So if a parent tells a child to do something that is completely sinning against Jesus, that child doesn't need to obey that.

So that's true. That's not really what Paul's saying here. Because he doesn't say that about wives and their role of submission.

And he doesn't say that about slaves and their role of submission to the master. He doesn't mention that only if your master tells you something that is lawful or husbands only if they, you know, he doesn't get into that.

He's not concerned about that caveat. But what he does say, he does say in all three instances, and I think that will help us understand what he's saying here, is look again at chapter five, verse 22.

He says, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. So you notice that in the

Lord, as to the Lord, it's similar. He's saying that wives, as you submit to Christ, submit to your husbands.

He says in chapter six, verse five, he says, Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would

Christ. Not by way of eye services, people pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.

So we go back to then chapter six, verse one, when he says, Children, obey your parents in the

Lord. I think what he's referring to is this reveals your being in the

Lord, your obedience to your parents. You should obey your parents as an indicator of your obedience to Jesus, because you're in the

Lord. And what's so important about that is it is not funny to have children who are consistently disobeying their parents, because that reveals that they do not know the

Lord. It reveals that they're not in the Lord. So again, it's like the acceptable thing because our society is in such shambles that our children just kind of grow up and start becoming disobedient.

That's just kind of their thing. We kind of wink at it. You must understand that a child's main role as a child in the home is obedience to their parents.

If they are failing to do that, child, if you're failing to do that, that is an indicator that you do not know the

Lord. That needs to hurt you more than anything. Parents, that needs to hurt you more than anything as well.

That not so much that your honor would be dismissed, but that this reveals a heart that is not in the

Lord. Now, again, we are saved by grace through faith alone.

Children are saved by grace through faith alone. But what has Jesus said? If you love me, you'll keep my commandments.

And Jesus puts an emphasis on obey your parents' children. So if there's one thing, right?

And when we come to Christ, we say, what would Christ have of me? Oh, I love this man so much for all he's done for me.

I just wanna follow him. Jesus says, obey your parents' children. And if children make a habit of not doing that, that is a serious indicator that they do not know or they're not in the

Lord. So it's not something that we kind of giggle at.

It's not something, oh, teenage years are terrible too, so just kind of let it be. Love it, no, we don't do that. We don't do that.

Because it's a major indicator of if they know the Lord or not. Notice, and we'll talk a little bit more about that in a second.

But notice he says, he goes on to say, children, obey your parents, right? In the Lord. And then he grounds, look how he grounds it.

Look how he roots this imperative. He says, for this is right.

He grounds this imperative with, it is objectively outside of self right.

This is correct. Notice he doesn't ground it in this will make you happy. He doesn't ground in children, obey your parents, because this is gonna make you happy.

Because you know what? It probably a lot of times won't right away. Now again, our eyes are on that verse three, right?

You'll go well if you'll live long. But notice that can't be the ground, the root of obeying for obedience sake.

Obeying for obedience sake for you children needs to be grounded because God has said it is right.

That's why I do it. Not because I want so bad for selfish things, for my own happiness, whatever

I can. It can't be rooted in that. It must be rooted in God has said this is what's right.

I shall do it. And then the fruit that comes forth from that root is happiness, long life.

The way of happiness is not found within, but without.

And this is the way life works. When it comes to seeking without and not within for something to go right.

If you want a working car, you don't just go at it with whatever feels right to you.

I want my car to work. I'm just gonna start just going at the different, I don't know anything about cars, but I'll just start going at it and just whatever feels right in the moment,

I'm gonna do it. You're not gonna have a working car. You're not going to, especially if you have no training. You want working plumbing.

You don't just go willy nilly at the plumbing and say, well, just whatever feels right in the moment, I'm just gonna start doing it. You don't work that way.

You don't operate that way. It's ridiculous to even think that way. Or with electricity, you don't just go at it.

I want my electricity to work in my home, so I'll just go at it. I have been almost electrocuted several times this year.

I'm good, like so far. It's getting close, though. I gotta be extra careful.

But you don't just go at it, right? Talk about danger. If you want a long and happy life, you don't start within, but you start without.

You start with God, who formed and knitted you together in your mother's womb, who is goodness itself, and who has declared what is right.

Happiness and long life is a soul that cries, oh, how I love your law.

It is my meditation all the day. So children, obey your parents, root it in, because it is right.

So we don't give them the tablet in the restaurants to say, please comply. We say, obey, act like a human at the table, because it is right, and let them prize that.

Now, earlier it was said, a child's journey to a long and happy life does not begin with a selfish pursuit of it, but with a selfless obedience to parents.

And so parents, if that's true, again, if life, a child's journey to happiness begins with a selfless obedience to parents, not a selfish pursuit of their own desires, if that's true, parents, if that's true, then why wouldn't you train your children to obey you as soon as possible,

ASAP? If obedience is a hallmark of being in the

Lord and a long life thereafter, why wouldn't you, at the very beginning, train your children to obey?

Not thinking that, well, this is gonna save my child, but this is certainly a beautiful fruit that I want them to get going on as soon as possible.

Well, why would we wait, why would you wait? And this early discipline, and this early as soon as possible can only be done by inflicting reasonable pain on your child.

I know, I know, gas, everyone can gas, get it out of your system right now, right? How dare you say, inflict reasonable pain on your child?

I guarantee you, if you don't do that, they will not learn obedience from before they can remember. They won't know obedience from before they can remember.

It can only be done when you inflict reasonable pain. Now, again, I say reasonable, not pain because you're angry and just out of rage, because I want my child to know the

Lord. I want my child to be happy and to live long in the land. And so I'm gonna be faithful to him out of love to inflict reasonable pain so they learn how to obey me from the get -go.

And what do I mean by that? Each, you know, it's very fascinating. I've had a few babies now, well, my wife has, but you know, comes with the territory.

And it's interesting, they have like these spurts of like milestones and freedoms. And then it, now you can have two decisions as a parent.

Am I gonna train them how to use that freedom well to obey me, or am I gonna just let them go?

And it just kind of goes on and on and on. If you don't start, it'll just compound on itself and you'll have a mess, terrible twos.

And so what do I mean by that is, you know, the child learns to roll over, right? And that's an exciting time, isn't it?

It's fun to see a baby roll over for the first time. It's amazing how excited you get about those things. I roll over every day, but my baby doesn't.

It is the greatest thing in the world. But then what happens? They're on the diaper, they're on the changing table, and the child rolls over.

Oh, that's cute, that's funny. All right, got it, you know. They do it again, they do it again, they do it again, they do it again, they do it again.

What do you have to do? Say, this is what you have to do. This is what you should do in order for them to appreciate obedience early on, is you give them a command.

Don't do that, don't do it. And then you put them back. They do it again, and when they do it again, what are they showing you?

Their butt, they're welcoming a spanking. They're saying, here we go. And you give them a nice, reasonable smack.

Not a massage, a smack. And then you say, no. And then it's just, it's a crazy thing.

They get it after, I don't know, not very long. They realize, there's just something in their brain they know, okay, I'm not supposed to do this rollover thing whenever he says not to.

I'm not gonna do it, not gonna do it. Right, we get what we're saying. And then let's go on to the crawling stage.

Beautiful again. Am I hearing like a plane or something? Anyone else hear that? Just me, okay.

So a crawling, we get to the crawling milestone, right? Again, freedom, right, new freedom.

But then, what do they want to use it for? Their own thing, whatever I wanna do. If I wanna go to the bathroom and touch the toilet water, that's what

I wanna do, I'm gonna do it. If I wanna, you know, whenever I wanna go in the house, you know, that's what I'm gonna do.

So what are we gonna do as parents? Train them, no, you're not gonna go in the bathroom, no.

And whenever they just say, oh, I'm gonna go anyways, what do you do, you spank them. And then they learn, after just a few swats, well, maybe some kids have more, from what

I heard, more hard -headedness. But usually for me, in my experience, after a few swats, they get it.

Now, whenever my mom or dad says, no, don't go in there, I'm not gonna do it, so I don't want that swat.

But then that translates over time to, I'm gonna obey the command of my parents. There's just something in me, since before I can remember, where my parents say something,

I have a great desire to listen and obey. It was before I even remember, it's there, right?

And this is how we, as soon as possible, get our children to obey us.

And it just goes on and on. But the thing is, what you're doing is, at the very beginning, you're forming a desire within them,

I want to obey my parents. And it began at such a young stage. But if you don't start it then, they are not gonna be in a position of success later on when you're trying to get them to obey.

You're not gonna get that. I make a big deal about this, because there's this thing called gentle parenting.

There's this thing called gentle parenting. A lot of you maybe have heard of it, and some of you might be in that camp.

And so I wanna be careful, I got all that emotion, I just wanna just say, it's terrible, it's awful, it's not biblical, don't do it, run away from it.

And I guess that's just how I said it. And I don't mean to be rude or mean in saying that, but it is not biblical.

Gentle parenting is, A, you don't need to use spankings in order to get your child to obey.

That's not biblical, that's not rooted in the scriptures. That is rooted in a worldly system that Christians are trying to say, well, how can we make the

Bible fit to that? And so they throw spankings out the door for the first time in church history, as if that is biblical.

Do not follow the lie of gentle parenting. It is not biblical, not loving, and not an option for Christians who want to raise their child to live long, be happy, and know the

Lord. Now, again, I've met more

Christians that I even realize that follow that. So if you're in that camp, you're like, how dare he say that, he sounds, if you're like, you have a lot of heartburn now, please talk to me,

I say that with as much love as I can in my heart, talk with me, don't just walk away thinking he's the worst.

Please, talk with me. So, children, your role in the parent -child relationship is not just outward obedience.

And we're emphasizing obedience, that's what Paul does here, children, obey your parents, right? If you want these positive fruit things, you need to root it in the fact that you're gonna obey your parents because it is simply right, this is what

God has commanded. Parents, we want to teach that to our children very young, before they even remember anything, they just remember obeying their parents.

But I want you to now see in verse two, children, your role as obedience is not just simply,

God doesn't expect just outward obedience. In fact, look at verse two. It says, honor your father and your mother.

So he's saying pretty much the same thing, but I do think there's a difference here. He says, honor your father and your mother.

Emphasize that word honor. Honor is like the inward disposition, or feeling, or mood, okay?

Honor is like that inward feeling that you have for, in this context, your parents.

And then obedience flows forth from that inward mood or disposition for your parents.

So not only are you called, children, to obey your parents, but you're called in your heart to honor your parents, to have a positive mood or desire for your parents within your heart.

God cares about the heart. God is not just interested in outward conformity.

That is a legalism that will not end very well. God always, always, always, don't ever forget this, even whenever you're in the book of the law, he always desires inward heart change.

He looks and cares about the heart. Jeremiah 17, nine and 10.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick. Who can understand it? I, the

Lord, search the heart and test the mind to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.

You see how he cares about the fruit of the deeds, the obedience, but he cares about the heart in which the obedience comes forth from.

We see in 1 Corinthians 4, 5, we could go on about this. 1 Corinthians 4, 5,

Paul says, therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness, and will disclose the purposes of the heart.

Then each one will receive his commendation from God. God cares about the heart.

We're not just interested in formal, dry, joyless obedience.

But Paul goes on to say, honor your father and mother, honor them from the heart.

That's why rolling of eyes, stomping away, slamming doors, anger fits after spankings cannot be tolerated.

Parents, you're not training your child to honor you when they do those things. That is not something to wink at or to say, well, at least he's obeying, at least he's doing what

I'm saying, right? You need to clean your room. You need to clean your room. Stomping away, slamming the door, and cleaning the room.

Well, at least he's cleaning the room. Absolutely not. The stomping away, the slamming the door is more offensive than a dirty room because it shows a heart that is not honoring you and so that is more offensive.

Parents, your parenting should start with outward obedience when your child cannot talk and is very young, as I was referring to earlier.

It should start with getting them to obey your commands at a very young age but then it needs to rely on words as they get older and you can teach them how to honor from the heart.

So you can't just stay in you're gonna obey me mode but you need to then wanna get to their heart to say and you need to honor me from the heart as well and that's usually not gonna come with a multitude of spankings.

It usually comes with teaching, usually comes with your words. As the child gets older, spanking should become less frequent, loving communication and influence more frequent to have obedience sink into their hearts.

If you have done things right at the beginning, obedience just becomes their DNA to where you don't need all these spankings to where you can teach them and your words mean something.

So when you tell them stop rolling over during the diaper change, it means a lot that they would listen to that even as a baby because then you're on the way for them to listen to your words as you're trying to teach them what it means to honor you from the heart and we'll get to honor the

Lord from the heart. When you're teaching them the gospel, they'll listen because they're just used to listening to you and so that turnaround spanking the butt is everything at such a young age because you're putting them on the path to listen to your words more closely as they get older and if they're listening to your words more closely as they get older, you don't need spankings.

You have the respect, you have the influence over them to simply talk with them and they will have ears to hear.

Now, both children and parents, you should be saying at this point, but the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick, who can understand it?

You're saying that I need to have a heart that honors? You know, children who are catechized and taught well, they know their hearts are sick and wicked.

So how can I just be commanded to have an honor for my parents when my heart is desperately sick and wicked?

And that's where we get to verse four and we say amen and that's why you need teaching. You need to be brought to the foot of Jesus so that your heart can be changed and that's why he goes on to say fathers and he says, do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the

Lord. He says that yes, the child's heart is wicked and you can get them to obey and conform to a degree but their heart is still wicked and so that's why with their obedience to you, parents, fathers, you need to then say and I'm going to instruct them in the way of the

Lord of grace who can change hearts. The Lord, our

Lord, is a Lord who changes hearts. That is a miracle, beloved. He changes hearts.

Jesus says, come to me, those who are weary and heaven -laden with a sick heart and I'll give you rest.

The new covenant promises a new heart that desires God and his commandments with a look to Jesus.

Let your child's difficulty to honor you be an encouragement to flee to Christ. As they get older and they're struggling with obeying you and hopefully you can see it in them, that struggle going on, don't just retaliate with spankings and just you will obey.

Instead, bring them to the waters of Christ. You know why you're struggling to honor me right now with your heart?

You know why you hate this command of mine to clean your room? Because you don't love the

Lord, you're not loving the Lord, you're not and he can give you a new heart. Oh, would you repent and believe upon him?

You know, he'll change your heart, son, daughter. That's why

I don't understand why a child says they heard the gospel for the first time in a Christian home at some kind of retreat.

I don't get that. Your parenting should be all the time as you can influence them, talk about Jesus constantly and their need to repent constantly, to look to Jesus constantly, look at a disobedient moment as an opportunity to look to the gospel.

I don't understand that. Don't let the first time they hear the gospel be some random person at a retreat when they need the gospel each moment of every day, especially when they find it hard to honor you from the heart.

See that word there? I think I'm gonna just focus on verse four next week.

I'm just kind of using four in light of three and two and one especially, I really think I might just focus on four.

But you see that word in chapter six, verse four, bring them up. That is a nurture them.

That's not just a one and done, I said the gospel once to my child, it's nurture them.

It's highly love them in the gospel and the teaching of the Lord. You look at every moment, how can

I teach Jesus to my child now? How can I show them Jesus in this instance?

How can I speak about the glories and mercies and love of Christ here? Nurture them.

You see someone nurturing a young baby or a young chick or whatever, you gotta be very gentle and careful.

And it's a parent's duty to nurture their child in Christ, in his teachings, in his grace, in his mercy, in his power to save.

But parents, you will. And again, look at verse four, do not provoke your children to anger. Parents, you will provoke your child to anger if you discipline them, if you fail to discipline them young.

You will provoke them to anger if you fail to discipline them young. If you fail to give them some kind of mechanism to say no to their selfish passions.

If they're just used to giving into it, they don't care about what's right. They don't care about what God has said. They just give into it.

I guarantee you, you will provoke them to some sort of form of anger as they get older. You need to discipline young.

And you will provoke your child to anger if you fail to teach them Christ for a new heart. If you're disciplining, if your teaching is just rooted in your arbitrariness, whatever, one day they can kind of play around in the living room after dinner because you're in a good mood, but the next day you're not.

And so now you're getting on them. They can see hypocrisy. They can smell it. They don't know the word hypocrisy, but they can certainly sense it.

And that will provoke them to anger. This arbitrary, I'm going to train you up in my way, not

Christ's way. So it's just kind of dependent on my emotions and feelings, dependent on me. They're going to sense that and it's going to provoke them to bitterness, to anger.

As soon as they can put their finger on it, they're not going to be too happy with it. So you provoke your child to anger if you fail to discipline them.

And you will provoke your child to anger if you fail to lead them to Christ with your words. Instead, your discipline is rooted in self.

You don't want them to be rooted in self. Your parenting can't be rooted in self either. Your insistence for your children to obey your words should find its completion that they would obey

Jesus and his gospel as it comes out of your mouth. That's a completed end. You discipline them young.

They listen to your words so that when you teach them Jesus, they have ears that especially listen to your teaching.

So then as they hear the words of Jesus, they receive the miracle of a changed heart and they leave the house honoring their father, their mother.

They leave the house obeying, have a desire for obedience to the authorities over them, which equates to God above.

Everyone wants their children to be happy and live long. Everyone wants that. No matter who you are, only a complete wicked, extremely wicked person doesn't want that.

In fact, anyone who hears that in the news, they're overcome with how can that be? Everyone wants their children to be happy and live long.

It does not happen at random though. But instead, children, they need to be rooted in seeking and doing what is right, honoring from the heart, obeying in action their parents, mixed with parents nurturing the children in the classroom of Christ.

And it will enable things to go well and for them to live long, both physically and spiritually.

The child's first steps out of the house as an adult will not be saturated with self then.

It won't be saturated with whatever I want, whatever I need, but instead outside of self.

What does God want? With a deep love to honor the authority over them, namely the

Lord Jesus Christ. But someone who is not taught that, they leave the house saturated with self and saturated with unhappiness and addicted to all sorts of things, trying to find that happiness, which many times leads to death.

May the child fulfill their role, may the parent fulfill their role so that this part of the land of the imperatives can be enjoyed to the fullest.

Let us pray. Oh, Father in heaven, we thank you for Christ our Lord. We thank you for the teaching that we can get from you,

Lord, because we're told many things from the world. And right now, the things that we're being told is not an emphasis of discipline, not an emphasis of obedience for children.

We're just happy when society tolerates it, but Lord, you call us to prize it, our children.

Lord, I pray the children here would prize obedience to their parents. I pray, Lord, that they would have a desire deep within them to obey and honor their parents.

I pray that with that desire, with that ears to hear their parents' words, that the parents would then utilize that to nurture them in Christ, Lord, so that our children in the church would be different from the world, that our children would look differently.

We have such an opportunity. I think of this often, Lord. We have such an opportunity to show, to reveal light in such a dark world where children constantly go astray.

They go far away. There is no deep rooted relationship between parents and child. Lord, we have such an opportunity to show and reveal what it looks like biblically to obey the imperatives of Jesus.

God in heaven, I pray that we would rely upon Christ, that we would look to see that he is a

God of mercy and grace, that he forgives us, that he gives us new hearts.

So I pray that children would learn to hear that and to hear especially, Lord, being taught from an early age to obey their parents and to especially obey the gospel that comes forth from their lips.

So Lord, I pray that all this would happen, that Christ would be glorified and there would be life in our homes, life in our children and glory to you.