TLP 581: How Your Children Respond to Sin, Part 7 | Fear

Fear as a Natural Response to Sin

That term refers not only to someone who parents as the Bible describes, but who also parents using the Bible as their primary tool. Parenting isn't about us. In fact, parenting isn't even about our kids.

Parenting is just one way Christian dads and moms are to worship God. So welcome to the Truth Love Parent Podcast, where we train dads and moms to give God the preeminence in their parenting. I'm your host, A .M. Brewster, and today we're going to unpack our fifth response to fear.

So far, we've discussed knowledge and delusion, conviction and callousness. And if you haven't yet listened to those episodes, please go back and work through this series from the beginning. Now, just so you know, my daughter and I recently returned from the Thrive Homeschool Convention in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and it was really amazing.

It's been my favorite homeschool convention so far. I spoke for two workshops, met a ton of amazing people, both attendees and vendors alike. I laughed, I cried, I sold books, I signed up a bunch of people in the Evermind app and thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience.

And now that I think about it, I also met a distant relative. That was pretty cool. Lord willing, I look forward to returning to that conference in May of 2026. I'm glad to be back and I look forward to opening God's Word with you.

As always, today's episode comes with free notes, a transcript and related resources linked in the description. Now let's consider why a natural and appropriate response to sin is fear. This concept should not be earth-shaking.

We all know sin is bad. Even when we run into it because we believe it's good, because we're being foolish and delusional, it's still dangerous and fear is a natural and appropriate response to things that are destructive.

So our goal today is to understand specifically from where the fear comes and then talk about how to parent our kids through this response to their sin. But before we do that, I would like to remind you that Truth Love Family desperately needs your assistance to continue producing these marriage and family resources.

If everyone who benefits from this ministry were to donate only $25 a month, we would be in a much more financially stable place. Of course, there are those of you who could afford to give even more than that, but any gifts of any kind are appreciated and put to good use.

You can utilize PayPal or Zelle to donate your monthly gifts. Simply visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to learn more. Now, let us start by considering why we tend to respond in fear to our sin.

Why Sin Produces Fear

Why is this even a thing? So number one, why does sin produce fear? In Genesis 3, 7, we read, And the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked, and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.

Then in verses 9 through 10, we see Yahweh called to the man and said to him, Where are.

You?

And he said, I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid. Adam and Eve's sin produced knowledge. They knew they were naked. For the first time, they understood the difference between good and evil.

And what was their response to this knowledge? They were afraid. They were so afraid that they let their fear rush them into a delusion. Instead of going to their Creator, they tried to cover their nakedness with leaves, and then they tried a plan that was even more ridiculous.

They tried to hide from God. Now, though the text doesn't specifically say, I think we can conjecture that they may have been afraid of potentially displeasing God or of the consequences they assumed would come.

And I believe there are three things that produce the fear response to sin. A. Knowledge produces fear. There are a couple of different facets to this. First, the knowledge of consequences is a fear-inducing thing.

Our sinful selves don't want discomfort. We don't want to feel the sting of discipline. Foreseeing the impending consequences of sin has tempted many a young person to lie and cheat and hide. Isaiah 33, 14 relates this, Sinners in Zion are in dread.

Trembling has seized the godless. Who among us can sojourn with the consuming fire? Who among us can sojourn with continual burning? Their fear and dread were directly related to the reality of God's fiery wrath.

But knowledge is not the only element of sin that produces fear. Letter B. Delusion produces fear in some situations. There are situations where the delusion response convinces us that we're going to be fine despite the reality of the situation.

We're convinced we did nothing wrong or that we're not going to get caught. But quite often our delusion is an exaggeration of reality. So if the knowledge scared us, the inflated version of that knowledge certainly will.

For example, though God would give Adam and Eve consequences for their sin, I would not be surprised to hear that Adam and Eve feared that God would give them far more and far weightier consequences. Numbers 14, 1 -4 relates how the children of Israel's delusion resulted in their fear.

Then all of the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that.

Night.

And the sons of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to them, Would that we had died in the land of Egypt, or would that we had died in this wilderness? And why is Yahweh bringing us into this land to fall by the sword?

Our wives and our little ones will become plunder. Would it not be better for us to return to Egypt? So they said to one another, Let us appoint a leader and return to Egypt. Despite seeing the miracles of God, they allowed their sinful mistrust and the hardship of traveling through the wilderness to produce an irrational fear.

Something very similar happened in Elijah's life. In 1 Kings 18, we learned about how God showed himself sovereign when Elijah prayed and he rained down fire from heaven. The account of Elijah and the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel is awe-inspiring for anybody to read, but Elijah was actually there to experience it.

Still, in the very next chapter, we read that after Jezebel made a vow to kill Elijah, he was afraid and arose and ran for his life. His God had done an unprecedented miracle that resulted in Elijah himself cutting off the heads of hundreds of false prophets, but at the impotent threat of a wicked woman, Elijah allowed himself to take his eyes off of God and fall into fear and despair.

Peter did the same thing while walking on the water. The delusion that the winds and waves would allow him to drown overpowered the truth that Jesus, the God-man who created and calmed the seas, had given him the power to walk on the water.

His fear was a result of his delusion. But there's one more element of sin that produces fear. Letter C, conviction produces fear. Now we don't know completely how the Holy Spirit was working at this point in history, but I assume it's not inappropriate to assume that Adam and Eve let their consciences and potentially the convicting work of the Holy Spirit stoke their fear.

Conviction can tempt us to fear because of the reality of consequences, but it also brings us face-to-face with God. Nothing can be bad if good does not exist in the world. Nothing can be sinful if holiness doesn't exist.

And quite often, the fear we experience isn't even actually a sinful fear. It's an appropriate response to the majestic holiness of God. In Isaiah 6, 1 -5, we read,. In the year of King Uzziah's death I saw the Lord sitting on a throne high and lifted up, with the train of His robe filling the temple.

Seraphim stood above Him, each having six wings. With two He covered His face, with two He covered His feet, and with two He flew. And one called out to another and said, Holy, holy, holy is Yahweh of hosts!

The whole earth is full of His glory. And the foundations of the threshold shook at the voice of Him who called out, while the house of God was filling with smoke. Then I said, Woe is me, for I am ruined, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips.

For my eyes have seen the King, Yahweh of hosts. Isaiah hadn't even really sinned in that moment in this particular case. Yeah, he had sinned before, but he rightly recognized that sinful man cannot stand in the presence of the all-holy God of the universe.

I've been sharing the gospel a lot lately with a young man I'm counseling. During one of our sessions, I asked him why he was so hesitant to put his faith in the God he claimed to believe in. As he unfolded his thinking, he shared, God is scary.

I told him that his observation was not an incorrect one. It's completely appropriate for an enemy of God to be afraid of Him because He is omnipotent and omnipresent and omniscient and holy and righteous.

But the correct response isn't to run from that all-powerful enemy, but to embrace Him as the loving Father He wants to be. Christians are supposed to have an appropriate awe and respect for God. We may even fear displeasing Him the same way we fear displeasing our spouses.

That is an appropriate fear of God. But Christians should never be afraid of God. We only experience that kind of fear when we respond incorrectly to the sin in our lives. In the case of Adam and Eve, because they misunderstood the problem and the fix for the problem, they feared the only one who could actually fix the problem.

But my friends, sinful fear is not an appropriate response to sin. Romans 8 .15 tells us, For you have not received a spirit of slavery, leading to fear again, but you have received the spirit of adoption, as sons, by whom we cry out, Abba, Father.

2 Timothy 1 .7 reads, For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of self-discipline. Using these passages as a starting point, let's discuss, number two, how should we parent our kids when they respond in fear to their sin?

How to Parent Fearful Children

Before I start in on the sub points, let me share with you a series we did called Parenting Fearful Children. Though that series deals with fear that grows from things other than a response to sin, I believe it'll be very helpful for you since all of us are tempted to fear for any number of reasons.

Like the rest of the resources I mentioned today, the link can be found in the description. Letter A. Our children can't help but be afraid if they're not born again. The only way we can truly help our children overcome the ultimate fear of separation from God is to introduce them to Him.

For the first time in their lives, they can experience genuine peace when they submit to God in salvation. We have a number of resources about evangelism parenting. Again, you can access that information in the description.

However, a relationship with God doesn't inherently result in never experiencing fear. As we've already identified, in our sin, we too often respond in fear. So, what do we do then? Letter B. If our children are afraid, they're enslaved.

Practically, a born-again believer is no longer a slave to sin, but instead a bondservant of God. But that doesn't mean we always functionally live that way. We have an episode entitled, Is Your Child Addicted?, and the title itself even answers the question for you by proclaiming, yes.

We also discuss this phenomenon in my new book, Quit! How to Stop Family Strife for Good. All sinners are addicted. We have secondary addictions, yes, and we have one overlording primary addiction. It's this addiction to which we allow ourselves to be enslaved.

Romans 8 .15 reads, For you have not received a spirit of slavery, leading to fear again. Fear is the result of spiritual slavery to sin. This is why unbelievers are afraid, and this is why believers often experience fear as a response to sin.

Therefore, we parents need to identify the sinful enslavement in our children's hearts. It may simply be a lack of trust in God. I say simply, but that is an enormous temptation with which we all battle.

But the sin may be more specific to them. It may be lying, stealing, discontentment, anger, or any number of the strongholds we have in our lives. In the same way, we must open God's Word to introduce our children to the God of the relationship He longs to have with us, and with them in particular.

So, too, we must turn to the Holy Scriptures to help our children understand and destroy those sinful strongholds that keep them enslaved to their sinful habits. 2 Corinthians 10 .3 -5 reads,. For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh.

For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the tearing down of strongholds. As we tear down speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

These strongholds can only be torn down by the knowledge of God and the obedience to Christ. The knowledge of God is harvested from the Bible itself, and the obedience to which we are called is clearly described as well.

Therefore, we need to be biblical parents. That term refers not only to someone who parents as the Bible describes, but who also parents using the Bible as their primary tool, which is exactly how the Bible prescribes our parenting.

We're ambassador parents. We have a resource called Parenting a Zombie. This series would be a huge help if your children are unsaved or living like a double-minded man, unstable in all his or her ways.

Fear Reveals Immaturity and a Need for Spiritual Growth

But fear does not only show that our kids are enslaved to their sin. Letter C, if our children are afraid, they don't love as they should. 2 Timothy 1 .7 says,. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-discipline.

We'll get to the power and self-discipline in a second. Loving God is wanting and working toward his best interest. Loving others is wanting and working toward God's best interest in their lives. Love hopes all things and believes all things.

It's not self-focused. It's not delusional. When we're afraid, we're not loving God and others as we should. We're doing what's right in our own eyes. We're blind. We're foolish sheep. We're deceived.

Like the Ephesian church in Revelation 2, sometimes our regenerated children have left their first love. We need to take the time with them to reintroduce them to the glories of their God and admonish them to love him for his honor and glory, not their own.

This too will require diving into the scriptures to understand what it is to love your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. By the way, we have a great series called The Four Family Loves that would be a real blessing if your whole family listened to it together.

And finally, letter D. If our children are afraid, they are spiritually immature. Now, I know there's a lot of overlap in these categories. A child who is not born again is clearly enslaved, incapable of truly loving God and others, and not merely spiritually immature, but actually spiritually dead.

Though justified children aren't spiritually dead. If they have sinned and are responding in fear, they too are acting like they're still enslaved to their own self-worship, not pursuing love and acting very immaturely.

The reason I've subdivided these points is so that we parents can be specific and precise in our parenting. It's not just that they're slavishly fulfilling the lust of the flesh. It's not just that they're being unloving, and it's not just that they're spiritually immature.

They're all of the above, and when we recognize all of the weaknesses, we can diversify our biblical parenting to answer all of the needs. This multidirectional and multifaceted approach can help greatly as it addresses the systemic issues instead of just compartmentalizing and potentially missing key ingredients in their struggle.

Allow me to read again 2 Timothy 1 .7. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-discipline. I believe the power and the self-discipline speak to traits of a spiritually mature individual.

Yes, it's true all Christians have access to the omnipotent power of the Holy Spirit, but it's an act of spiritual maturity to actually take advantage of it, thus resulting in self-discipline through spirit control.

I did a series for the celebration of God called The Evidence of Spiritual Life, but that series doesn't just help reveal whether spiritual life exists. It also unpacks the Bible's plan for how we are to mature in that spiritual life.

Fearful children are immature children, and once again, we need to use God's word to teach, reprove, correct, and train our kids out of immaturity into maturity. Fear is a very natural response to sin for so many reasons, but none of those reasons are good, and the scriptures show us how we can break the chains of our fear.

I pray that you will use God's word to help your children grow in love, power, and self-discipline. Of course, if you would like assistance in doing that, please email us at counselor at truthloveparent .com or leave a voicemail at 828 -423 -0894, and please be sure to share this series with your friends so that they can also identify their children's responses to sin and parent them to God's glory.

On our next episode, we're going to consider another all-too-common response to sin, and that would be anger. You can visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to learn more.