The Denominations Teach Civics (Happy 4th of July!)

I want to welcome you all back to another interdenominational meeting. There's a big movement right now to begin teaching the

Bible in the school systems. So, in honor of Independence Day, I want to propose that we all begin teaching civics classes in our churches.

Well, we can't already do that through all of our homeschool moms. Home what now? No, no, no, wait.

You don't have homeschoolers? No, no, no. Our kids go to our in -house private school. The B -E -M -M -C -A.

The Big Eva Multiplex Mega Church and Mini Mall Academy. See, our church teaches a very specific tithing minimum, so most of our families have to have at least two incomes.

Because if you love Jesus, you're going to tithe on two incomes. Wow. That's like the opposite of superior theology.

Well, see, I think converting our Sunday school classes into civics classes is actually a really good idea.

It reminds the kids that to be a good citizen of heaven, you first need to be a good citizen of America.

Hashtag, make Sunday school great again. You know, I really don't know what more we could be doing. We already say the

Pledge of Allegiance to the American flag, to the Christian flag, and to the Bible in all of our services.

Oh yeah, we do that too. But I want us to do more to educate our people on how our system works and how they can be a part of it.

So you're proposing that instead of teaching the Bible in our Bible classes, we teach the

Constitution and the Bill of Rights? I just want you to know that I'm extremely okay with teaching the blessings and benefits of the

Second Amendment. We know you are. Well, I'm happy to teach our students how

America declared independence from the British. See, that's the spirit. That's what I'm talking about right there.

And how it was a terrible idea. Oh, swing and a miss. Well, since we're going to be talking about the foundations of America, I'd like to explain to the kids how the colonization of America was actually a bad thing and that the laws of the

Constitution are actually rooted in xenophobic stereotypes which are intended to promote the success of the white oppressor against all other oppressed minority people groups.

Didn't we stop inviting you? Yes, but you left the door unlocked, so that's on you. Well, I think it's important that we teach our kids about America's responsibility to partner with and support

Israel at all costs because the Jews are God's chosen people. Did you say

God's chosen people? Because I got some news for you. Hey, I love the chosen.

You still can't come in. Guys, let's make sure we keep the door locked from now on, okay? It's not going to stop me.

Hey, I'm all for teaching civics in church because I believe that one day the governments of the world are all going to be united together under the law of God.

We're just waiting for the one man who can bring it all together. Yeah.

Oh, I'm all for Christian nationalism. As long as we all submit to the same Christian prince,

Pope Francis. Oh, I love Prince. He makes me want to party like it's 1999.

You know, I'd rather party like it's 1517. Happy 4th of July from the

Foskey family and all of our imitation denominations. As we prepare for the celebration of the 248th birthday of our country, there's a lot of things that we need to be praying for.

And not the least of which is that we should pray that our country would turn from its sin and turn to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Also, don't forget to pray a special prayer for the many people around our country who tonight are going to bed unknowingly for the last time with all 10 fingers.