The Denominations Teach Civics (Happy 4th of July!)

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I want to welcome you all back to another interdenominational meeting. There's a big movement right now to begin teaching the

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Bible in the school systems. So, in honor of Independence Day, I want to propose that we all begin teaching civics classes in our churches.

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Well, we can't already do that through all of our homeschool moms. Home what now? No, no, no, wait.

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You don't have homeschoolers? No, no, no. Our kids go to our in -house private school. The B -E -M -M -C -A.

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The Big Eva Multiplex Mega Church and Mini Mall Academy. See, our church teaches a very specific tithing minimum, so most of our families have to have at least two incomes.

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Because if you love Jesus, you're going to tithe on two incomes. Wow. That's like the opposite of superior theology.

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Well, see, I think converting our Sunday school classes into civics classes is actually a really good idea.

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It reminds the kids that to be a good citizen of heaven, you first need to be a good citizen of America.

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Hashtag, make Sunday school great again. You know, I really don't know what more we could be doing. We already say the

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Pledge of Allegiance to the American flag, to the Christian flag, and to the Bible in all of our services.

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Oh yeah, we do that too. But I want us to do more to educate our people on how our system works and how they can be a part of it.

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So you're proposing that instead of teaching the Bible in our Bible classes, we teach the

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Constitution and the Bill of Rights? I just want you to know that I'm extremely okay with teaching the blessings and benefits of the

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Second Amendment. We know you are. Well, I'm happy to teach our students how

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America declared independence from the British. See, that's the spirit. That's what I'm talking about right there.

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And how it was a terrible idea. Oh, swing and a miss. Well, since we're going to be talking about the foundations of America, I'd like to explain to the kids how the colonization of America was actually a bad thing and that the laws of the

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Constitution are actually rooted in xenophobic stereotypes which are intended to promote the success of the white oppressor against all other oppressed minority people groups.

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Didn't we stop inviting you? Yes, but you left the door unlocked, so that's on you. Well, I think it's important that we teach our kids about America's responsibility to partner with and support

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Israel at all costs because the Jews are God's chosen people. Did you say

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God's chosen people? Because I got some news for you. Hey, I love the chosen.

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You still can't come in. Guys, let's make sure we keep the door locked from now on, okay? It's not going to stop me.

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Hey, I'm all for teaching civics in church because I believe that one day the governments of the world are all going to be united together under the law of God.

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We're just waiting for the one man who can bring it all together. Yeah.

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Oh, I'm all for Christian nationalism. As long as we all submit to the same Christian prince,

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Pope Francis. Oh, I love Prince. He makes me want to party like it's 1999.

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You know, I'd rather party like it's 1517. Happy 4th of July from the

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Foskey family and all of our imitation denominations. As we prepare for the celebration of the 248th birthday of our country, there's a lot of things that we need to be praying for.

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And not the least of which is that we should pray that our country would turn from its sin and turn to the Lord Jesus Christ.

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Also, don't forget to pray a special prayer for the many people around our country who tonight are going to bed unknowingly for the last time with all 10 fingers.