A Word in Season: Soft Answers (Proverbs 15:1-2)

Media Gratiae

Subscribe

Download

Share

00

00:00

I imagine that most of us have been involved in an escalating argument where someone says something to you and then you say something to them and then so on and so forth and each round of engagement becomes more and more aggressive and vitriolic.

00:17

That may be a particular challenge to many of us if we're still in a season of isolation but it's normal even in any real environment or relationship in which you're often close to one another, whether that's husband or wife or parent and child, whether that's parent to child or child to parent, brothers and sisters, it's typical for us to stir up this kind of antagonism and that's where Proverbs 15 verses 1 and 2 is so important.

00:50

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

00:56

The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

01:04

How do we respond when somebody pokes us or probes us?

01:10

How do we answer? Well, if we give a soft answer, it turns away wrath.

01:17

There's a way of responding. There's a gentleness, there's a tenderness, there's a thoughtfulness, there's a kindness.

01:23

We can diffuse the antagonism. We can diffuse the pressure rather than intensify it and it's the soft word.

01:33

It's the gentle and kind entreaty. It's the patient explanation.

01:39

It's the thoughtful response. It's the even stepping back and taking a moment before we say something and we can only do that by God's grace at work in us.

01:52

This isn't manipulation. This is to be a gracious disposition. The opposite then is this harsh word that stirs up anger, that provokes and stirs and engages and pushes so that that intensification takes place.

02:11

It's the insulting and assaulting spirit, the one that looks for weaknesses, that picks up on faults, that is constantly niggling and nagging and nipping away at particular things.

02:24

It's the critical spirit that always sees something wrong. It's the aggressive disposition that is always ready to launch in.

02:33

It's the angry response to the innocent comment that begins, then this this flame of discord in a family, in a relationship, among friends.

02:48

A soft answer will prevent that escalation. This kind and gentle spirit will look for ways to soften things, even if there is a matter to be engaged in.

03:02

The old commentator Matthew Henry said that hard arguments do best with soft words.

03:09

So let us use soft words. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

03:20

And while that might not be immediately connected with the first verse of Proverbs 15, nevertheless, there's at least some kind of a parallel here, perhaps between the soft answer, which is the knowledge used rightly by the wise and the harsh word, which is the foolish mouth pouring forth foolishness.

03:41

As Christians, if we are living as we do in relationships, one with another, perhaps especially when we're brought into situations where we're often up against other people, we will have a choice to make between holiness on the one hand and unholiness, the righteous word of the wise and the unrighteous word of the foolish.

04:07

Let's choose soft words that turn away wrath. Today, you'll have an opportunity either to provoke anger or to placate someone who may be angry or on the way to becoming so.

04:21

You'll have a chance to light the spark and fuel the fire of some kind of altercation, or you'll have an opportunity to pour water rather than oil onto the flames in order to extinguish the blaze.

04:36

And if you're a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, you will choose whenever proper and possible the soft word, the soft answer that turns away wrath.

04:48

That's not cowardice, that's not backing down, that's showing graciousness and righteousness for the sake of peace.