FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE ***Q&A with Mr. & Mrs. Calvinist***

Live from the Theo shed in beautiful Callahan, Florida. It's Friday night. Your Calvinist podcast is filmed before a live studio audience and welcome back to your Calvinist podcast. My name is Keith Foskey.

This is Jennifer Foskey and We are your Calvinist, mr. And mrs. Your Calvinist. It's good to see everyone tonight. And as people are getting logged on We just want to again welcome you to our weekly live show.

We've seen that there have been some folks who've been commenting even before the show began. And I wanted to make mention of one specific comment. I think it was very thoughtful up earlier.

Mb.

Said please don't burn yourselves out. Lots of youtubers have done this, you know. We've talked a lot about that because we do a lot I do a lot throughout the week with the media ministry and and then of course we've started doing this weekly live show and We do want to let you guys know there are going to be some weeks that we won't be able to do a live show.

Sometimes we have the blessing of having a Friday night. Date night. What's the date? Yeah.

And.

On date night. We are not going to try to run back home by 10 o 'clock. So That is something that we're gonna say. Hey, there's gonna be certain weeks that we don't do it. We have some holiday stuff coming up.

So there may be some weeks that we don't do a Friday night live, but we enjoy this. Yeah, and we enjoy getting to interact with you guys. Especially with the fetus Parker Brown who's out there already running his mouth on the comment section.

I see you out there, buddy. Don't just just know I'm gonna handle you. I'm gonna handle business. I got your phone number. I'll just I'll just I'll give you a call later. We'll post it in the comments.

That's right. We'll post your Who wants okay. I'm currently I'm taking bid for Parker Brown's phone number if anybody I'll start the bidding at $1. But anyway, it's good to see everybody. Love you guys.

Thankful that you're here. Want to mention our shirts. Today we are matching. I'm not wearing a red dress, but I do have a red shirt. I just love it when couples dress alike girl. No, this is our tomorrow we will be walking in the Callahan parade the Callahan Christmas parade our church has a Float and it is the theme of our float is make Bible study great again.

We have a huge banner that talks about what the Bible is that it's an amazing book written over 1 ,500 years written by 40 different authors written in three different languages. But it all has one message and that is redemption through Jesus Christ and we have big banners that go with it.

We have a major scene that we're going to have set up. No, baby Jesus no, no second commandment violations for us, but we do have the manger scene all Built. I spent the afternoon with some of the guys from the church building that and I will be posting a video of that tomorrow.

And.

So to show everybody what we're doing, but this is the theme and this is why we're wearing these shirts. Even though we are in a little while. We're gonna talk a little bit about why I think it's necessary that you do wear red when I tell you to I Am look yeah, I told you I told you to wear that and you had no choice.

Because I am the king of this house. I am I Am the I am the sovereign of these four. I am the sovereign of the double-wide. Hey, but before we do that I actually want to Want to talk about a Christmas gift.

I have a Christmas gift that I'm gonna give to my wife early. Isn't that cool? I have something here. It is a Christmas gift. Close your eyes. Okay. Close your eyes. Okay. All right. All right. This is my Christmas gift to my wife.

Open your eyes. Merry Christmas. What is it. Oh coffee grinder? Okay. Okay. The reason why I'm giving my wife a coffee grinder is because we are now partnered with Squirrely Joe's coffee and squirrely Joe's coffee is Offering a free bag of coffee to anyone who watches our show.

You can go into the description of this video and you can find squirrely joe's comm slash your Calvinist. You can go get a free bag of coffee. But you do need a coffee grinder to go with it. So I bought my wife a coffee grinder to go with our free bag of coffee.

Also, if you buy anything in their store and use my name Keith you get 20 off as a coupon code. So that's pretty cool. That's pretty pretty fun. And it's nice to have people who are interested in what we're doing and are willing to partner with us.

As I said, all of our partners help feed hungry children. Mine, I know that's a terrible that's dumb joke, but I'm gonna keep making it because I think it's funny. We have other partners. We're gonna mention throughout today's show.

Obviously, we want to continue to remind you about tinybibles .com tiny bibles is our longest running partner. And they also offer for the coupon code. Keith you can go right now. They've got the Tyndale New Testament 1534 edition available.

This would make a great Christmas present along with the smallest Bible in print and the tiny gospel of John. These are available encourage you to go check those out. We're gonna talk about some of our other partners later in the show, but I want to get into some serious conversations right now.

I want to talk about this whole red-dress Fiasco before we get to the questions for today. We're going to talk about the.

The.

Current kerfuffle that's happening on.

The.

In the Twitterverse, there's been a lot of kerfuffles lately and Several several of you have asked me to weigh in with my opinion on Various of these kerfuffles. I just like the word kerfuffle. Kerfuffle.

You've asked me to weigh in and in general I try to avoid a lot of these these deep ditches of negativity, especially when there are Just things that I think are bad on all sides. I just kind of look at it.

You know some of it I I'm not interested in engaging in. I want to recommend a video a friend of mine put out this week Corey wing who is civically minded podcast put out a video with some good thoughts about all of the Kerfuffle that's been going on.

So if you want to hear a good pastoral thought regarding all of that You can go check out his video. He is a solid man of God a good friend and a man who? Will live up to his word when he said he's when he says he's gonna pray for you.

So if you don't know that when he prays like he'll he prays like when you ask him to pray for you. Like he prays like right then which is which is really great and he writes out his prayers. So I get nice prayers from him sometimes which are really super encouraging.

So.

With that in mind. I do want to talk about the issue with the red dress. Now now, what do you know about it Jennifer?

We talked a little bit about it. Is it where the husband. Should tell tell his be able to tell his wife like what she should what she shouldn't wear.

Can hear you. In fact I may turn you up just a hair like if the husband wants his wife to wear.

To greet him when she comes home and wear a red dress. She should do that because he's asked her to do that.

Yeah, it's Well it no, it's it's it's not that you're being too simplistic. It's that I I think that they're there. The way people have interpreted this has been different and the way people have explained it has been different.

But the ultimate question is should a wife Submit to her husband if her husband puts a demand upon her that she wear a certain thing. So I think I'm I'm really honestly trying to be fair. I'm not trying to over exaggerate the question and I'm also not trying to Soften it too much like like like, okay You and I both do premarital counseling.

Mm-hmm. You do premarital counseling with me. Hey redeem zoomer. It's good to see you, buddy. Glad you're with us tonight, and he's recently married. So this might be an interesting conversation for him to be.

Congratulations. Yeah. Yeah for him to be Listening in on but the question we're talking about this whole red dress thing it's the question of should a husband have authority over what his wife wears and The as as someone who has sat in with me I've been in ministry for 18 years we've done Countless weddings.

I don't know how many weddings we've done. I can't think of how many there's been. Most of them have been in the last 10 years like five years because we've had a lot of younger people five. You did five in a year.

That was a lot and we did all the premarital counseling. We we do for Four weeks minimum of premarital counseling a lot of times more but a minimum of four weeks of premarital counseling that we require.

Where we talk about everything from faith to finances to family to all kinds of other issues when we're doing premarital counseling and so the the the issue. When we're talking about has this ever come up?

No. That's the thing as I was thinking about this question and thinking about the issue I thought to myself I can't think of a time when this has ever been an issue and we've also done marriage counseling.

We've sat in on Marriages that were broken marriages that were crumbling marriages that were going through really difficult times and there's I've never Seen it be over whether or not the wife was willing to or whether or not the husband was commanding what the wife wore.

And and the husband would Or the wife would submit to that but but here's here's here's there's an underlying part of that though, right we've seen yeah.

Go ahead you. I was just thinking where the husband or the wife has demands that are unreasonable. Are you thinking that?

Well.

I just I got a little caught off guard because redeem zoomer is looking for 500 ,000 subs before the end of 2024 and now and now I hate him more than anyone in the world. I Struggled to get 30 ,000 something.

He just said he's going for 500 ,000 stuff. You should send me one of your play Things if you get 500 ,000 subs, I mean you've got five play buttons. I really don't hate you. I love you, but that's okay that totally distracted me though.

I just happened to look over and saw 500 ,000. Okay, all right, let's get back to the series. Um, so on the issue of this whole wearing. No problem brother. Though the whole issue of what what? What we're wearing or what the what the wife is wearing the underlying issue is what now you said the mission.

That's right. What is something that I say? I don't see if you remember this what. Don't be sorry redeemed zoomer. I love you. I was just playing it's not a problem. Don't be sorry. You're you're awesome.

Okay.

Except for your hot takes about Baptists. Those are not awesome. But okay had to be real for a moment. All right. So what is one of the things that I always ask the bride? When we're doing premarital counseling Can you submit to this man?

That's right. I do well and normally I worded a little bit differently I mean, maybe I say are you ready to submit to this man in any in everything because the Bible says to submit to him in everything right now obviously.

Obviously when we talk about submission and everything everything always has a limitation because there's No one calls anyone to submit to a husband or to the government or to anything else Beyond their submission to God, right?

So if the husband commands a person that commands the wife to sin or call ask the wife to sin then she has no reasonable Responsibility to submit to him but like right now my daughter is is preparing for marriage and She's going to be married.

Hopefully in February all is going to go well and she'll be married and I'll be performing the wedding and I've already asked her Asked her on several occasions. Are you ready to follow this man's lead?

Are you ready to submit to this man? And if you're not then you're not ready to be married if you don't trust him because that's what this is this is an issue of trust and if you're not ready to trust him and to submit to him and follow him, then you're not ready to be married, right and.

So.

There is an issue of submission here. There is an issue where the the subject of submission is is what's at hand however, I Want to take it from the husband's side now because we talked about submission that is the wife's responsibility.

But I want to take a step back and say The husband has certain responsibilities one. He is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. He is to live with his wife in an understanding way and he is to treat her as the weaker vessel meaning he is to cherish her and love her and care for her and I've often described it this way.

I've described the the wife as being like a very very precious and priceless vase versus a steel mug. The precious and priceless vase is valuable the steel mug is valuable, but there's a different value because the steel mug has the value of Having the strength and and the and the ability to withstand certain things that the that the that the vase couldn't.

But the vase also has value in and I would say even in some cases more value the issue there is the issue of the the the the one who's who has the responsibility of leadership also has to have the strength to love his wife well, and so the whole question of Now was is the husband is the wife expected to to wear what her husband commands her to wear.

It that that's never even come into our vernacular the idea that I'm gonna I'm gonna command her what to wear. The only time I would ever even care what she was wearing is If it had to do with some issue of modesty and thank thank the Lord.

My wife has no issue with modesty. It's not a problem with her.

And.

You know, but we have talked about like hey, is this you know, how does this look? You know, is this you know, is this to this or to that we have that conversation. But outside of that I don't go around telling her What to wear because I just it's not it's not that I don't have the right to it's just I don't care.

I know that she wants to please me in the same way that I want to please her and I made this joke online I said I want to I I don't. I don't necessarily like wearing ties, but she likes it when I wear ties.

So I wear a lot of ties and some of you guys have even sent me ties and I've worn some of the ties that you've Sent me and that's really cool. So the whole issue here of what's that song ladies like a sharp-dressed man?

Yeah, every girl's crazy bout a sharp-dressed man. Oh, yeah so I'm thankful that she likes what I wear and And I want to wear what what she likes. I want to look nice for her in the way that looks nice for her and I think you're the same way, right?

Yeah, and I'll go a step further like Keith works hard. He provides for our family if he wants me to wear a red dress blue dress Orange dress pink dress, whatever. I mean I get to be home with my our babies Homeschooling and I'm keeping the home.

That might be a very Controversial thing maybe not with our audience but in the world. Yeah, I couldn't say that but no.

No, please say it say it sister. Go on girl. Go on.

Testify, I was like, whatever. He would like me to wear. I mean, I don't know I.

This is I would wear whatever and actually this does it make you feel good and I'm looking I won't look at you. Does it make you feel good when I say hey, baby, that look good. Yeah. Yeah, I like the way that I will tell you this.

I Notice that when I tell you hey that look good. You wear it more often. Yeah, right, right? And when I tell you hey that that's attractive to me or that looks nice to me or that's your color right because red is your color just so happens to be that you're you're you're a What they call it an autumn?

Yeah, it's like reds and oranges and pinks pinks really very much your color. And so like I'm sorry guys. I'm like you. I I ball on my wife's happy. No, I I'm the biggest like romantic nut. I I do. I I'm I'm blessed to have the wife that I do.

But I think this this I think it's a much ado about nothing when we argue about this. Whatever people online are arguing about this. It's just to me.

If I.

Don't know what Riz means. We don't speak Gen Z language, I don't I don't I don't speak your your Gen Z language.

I want it. I like that comment up there. I'll all I ever want to wear is medieval battle.

Hey, if she wore medieval battle armor, you best believe I would be all about that. So but somebody just said this. SM said the question in part becomes is this the problem or is the pendulum swinging backwards from Servant leadership.

Now, there is a thing going around a conversation about servant leadership. Does that mean that the husband doesn't really lead and There's some issues that that have come out about that and there's a lot of there's a lot of conversation online right now.

About what it means to have authority what it means to lead. How is a man supposed to lead and I do think that. This is going to look different in different homes because certain men have different leadership styles.

But I want to say this tyrant is not a leadership style. It's not tyrant is not a leadership style. Tyrant is a jerk. Tyrant is somebody. I've seen it. I've seen men who are tyrants. I've seen women who are tyrants and neither one of them is precious.

They're both Tough to look at. I've seen women who boss their husbands around and I've seen husbands who boss their wives around. Neither one of them demonstrated love. Neither one of them demonstrated a desire for the good of the other person and.

So.

That's just right there is. I like that civically minded the spiritual gift of despotism. Yeah. Yeah.

So.

I'm sure that. Maybe there's some nuances to this conversation that people would want to get into and I know that I know the players in this Conversation who are arguing for one thing or another but I will say this from 25 years of marriage.

Until this conversation came up on X.

Me.

Exercising any authority and what my wife wore was never the battle that we have fought and Quite honestly, I don't think it is really a battle. I think most wives want to be attractive to their husbands.

Most husbands want to be want their wives to think that they're handsome and therefore I think most people who are sensible want to Present themselves in a way that is attractive to the other person and if that's what's happening, that's good but if somebody's demanding something for Because of because they want to exercise some type of authority and see that their authority is being met Rather than the good of the other person being exalted or encouraged.

I think that's a problem. So that's our thoughts. At least that's my thoughts. I don't know. Yeah. Additional thoughts. No again. I made her wear that shirt tonight though. I will say that. Yeah, all right, so, um.

Let's let's move on to some questions because that one was just a topic of discussion. That wasn't a question that anybody sent in it was just something I thought was interesting. All right, so well, let's deal with this question Parker.

I don't think I don't think this is a one of his difficult questions. I think this is an actual question for clarity. What is the delineation between submit and everything and tyrant?

Um.

All right.

Let's see. This is difficult it in the sense that Someone being a tyrant is someone who is.

Is.

Not concerned With the person under his authority. That's for me what the definition of a tyrant is. A tyrant is not someone who exercises authority. It is someone who exercises authority without concern for the person over which he has that authority.

Right. So when I see elders Exercising a heavy-handed leadership with the church body. They are tyrants. That's not the way the elders are supposed to function. When I see a husband who is exercising his authority with his wife With no concern for her but only the concern to see himself uh put an Exalted to see himself respected But not concerned about her and her heart and the fact that she is the weaker vessel not considering the fact that she is in fact Supposed to be the one who he he lives with in an understanding manner.

So that his prayers may not be hindered right like like that's his command to do that. If he's not doing that, he's a tyrant and uh. And and so I I would ask this. Um, jennifer When are you going to start calling me lord Lord did you say something lord?

Yes. Absolutely. My lord. Yeah. Okay right then absolutely. Honestly though in our marriage and I know we got a lot of questions to get to tonight.

Um.

Have we let's be honest with it with the audience, you know, there's a few people watching. Have we had issues where we have struggled in this area, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

And.

Where where are the two areas? Because I I have two in my mind, but I want to see if you if you think the same thing. Where are the two areas that you think we've struggled the most?

Some.

My submission to you like a as working like when I was working. Is that what you're thinking?

No, not necessarily i'm not looking necessarily for a specific example, even though since you mentioned it there have been times where um, I mean jennifer grew up in a situation where her dad, um really ingrained in her a desire for Her to have a job and so her coming home and not working outside of the home was a big deal.

Yes.

But.

So she had to. That level of trust for her. To trust me to provide for her to where she didn't feel like she needed to go out and do that. That was like a big deal.

That was a big deal.

But um, but more so what I was saying with the two things I think there has been an issue with um, Times where you didn't want to do the things that I wanted to do. That's an issue of submission, but also times when I didn't consider you when I was exercising my authority.

So that's where the two sides come in if I don't consider you when i'm exercising my authority. Now that doesn't mean i'm going to always do what you want me to do. Because sometimes I have to say no this is what I believe is best for our home.

This is what I believe is best for our children. This is what I believe is best for our life. And at some point you have to trust me because that's what it is guys. It's an issue of trust. It's if if If you don't trust your elders in your church.

You're not going to be able to function under them if you don't trust your husband. You're not going to submit to him. Well, right this isn't so submission is an issue of trust and um. And again, I just feel like the times we've struggled the most are times when either you have Felt like the the direction I was going.

You had a hard time trusting. It was the right direction right and the times when in those times perhaps I didn't express to you why. This was the right way and help you to understand why. To trust me and again, this is this is.

This is 25 years of marriage. I mean real talk real talk. Absolutely. We're being honest about this um, so, uh, you know, this is this is quite this is quite Open for us for us to just talk about the fact that we've we've dealt with issues of submission and obedience.

As well as leadership and there have been times where I have been a jerk. There have been times where I have had to repent of the way I have behaved. And that's another thing I will say from a husband and wife have been together for 25 years.

If you've never repented to your spouse over a behavior. Then if you've been married for any length of time and you've not found yourself in a position where you've needed to repent. Then um, there may be an issue there in your heart if you're if you're not willing to admit that you've that you've erred.

That you've gone you've gone in a wrong direction just because you're the authority men. Doesn't mean you can't make a mistake and doesn't mean when you make that mistake that you don't have a responsibility to say.

Listen, I I I made a I made a wrong turn. I was wrong. I've sinned. Or or i've maybe not sinned, but I've I went the wrong direction and I need you to forgive me. I need I need to move forward in a different direction now.

And.

Um again.

It's just same with on as the wife too.

The same thing.

And that might be the crux of a lot of the issues that we've dealt. Not being willing to say, you know, i'm i'm sorry.

Yeah.

Yeah, or just sorry. Yeah. Of course repentance and asking the other person for repentance. To call the other person to repentance. Hey, you sinned against me. You hurt me. You've you you did something wrong to me.

Um, you you mistreated me.

I mean.

I'm thankful When you are honest with me. And you tell me hey You were wrong or you were wrong and you need to repent and and I mean, I hope that you're thankful. Yeah, because I know that has gone both ways so again.

This this also comes back to the fact that there's nobody in the world that I want to be with more than her. There's nobody in this world that I want to spend time with more than her. I love my kids. I love my parents.

But if I had a choice to spend time with anybody in the world It's going to be her and that's number one. And so, um I think she knows that yeah, I think that i'm, you know, at least second or third on her list.

So.

All right, a lot a lot to be said there. Um, I just thought it was important. You're my number one. Well, and you know years ago. I thought about writing a book.

Because.

I I I think that part of part of a good relationship is knowing. Knowing that you are The number one person to your partner. And that was that was that was going to be the thesis of the book is um. That that the key to a um.

A good marriage and and and you know, obviously Christ is first and and and worshiping god together. Following christ together ministering together. All of those things are absolutely essential. But if you if you don't think that you are your partner's number one priority.

If you don't think that you are your partners the person they want to be with most in the world the person that they have have. As we say in the marriage vows have forsaken all others and given themselves only under her.

If your partner doesn't think that of you.

Then.

That that causes them to wonder where you are in the relationship. Do you put your work first? Do you put your friends first? Do you put other people first? You're you know I hear people talk about their work wives and stuff like that.

That's no guys. Come on. And I know that's kind of a joke ha ha ha no, but still. There's one person in your life That's more important than anybody else other than jesus christ. And that's your spouse.

And.

Let me tell you something if that's if she knows that. If she knows that nobody else is more important than her. Nobody else is going to have a first place. Nobody else i'm going to rather spend time with nobody else.

Is that in my life? Then I ain't gonna have to command her to wear a red dress. Because it's not even a that's that that's so far into the field of of mediocrity. Because if I say baby, I love that red dress man.

She's gonna put it on because she knows I love her. It's not about Commands. It's about does she know she's number one? And so that that's. That's important that's important. All right.

So.

Let's move on to some other questions because we got a lot. And we're 30 30 minutes in. But I said I said I wanted to talk about this tonight if we don't get to all the questions. We don't get all the questions.

This is this is important. All right, read me. First question number one and by the way, we got questions from our buy me a coffee audience. These are folks who who donate directly to the show and we're thankful for them.

We have two questions from the buy me a coffee crowd. So Hit me with the first one.

Okay, should I be concerned that our pastor and a reformed congregation has adopted a preterist idealist framework for revelation? And how can we extend grace to those who may strongly disagree while focusing on honoring christ and living expectantly?

All right. So this is funny that the person would ask this question of me should I be concerned that my pastor has adopted a preterist idealist framework for revelation because um. That's kind of the position I take.

So if you're concerned about your pastor. You would also be concerned if I were your pastor because this is the same position that I would take.

Um, wait a second. Did they go to our church? Yeah.

Hey.

Somebody.

Would that be funny that we've got. Hey. This is you know, this is actually it is interesting because someone. Uh, one of our elders brother. Mike is teaching through revelation right now. And he's teaching it from a partial preterist idealist framework.

And so um. My answer to this person. Should you be concerned? Well, the only reason why you should be concerned is if there is no.

Um.

If the person who's teaching is not Allowing for any dissent allowing for any disagreement. One thing I do appreciate about brother. Mike is brother. Mike will say listen, this is the position I believe is correct, but I also understand there are other positions and as he's teaching he's talking about these other positions.

And he's saying hey, I understand these other positions exist. This is why I hold to this position but So long as we understand there's room here for disagreement. Then we're okay. If the person who's teaching revelation is saying there's no room for disagreement.

This is the only way you can understand it. You have to follow this doom doom doom I don't care whether they're partial preterist or dispensationalist or whatever if anybody's telling you i've got revelation all figured out.

Then that's the problem as long as your pastor whoever this is who wrote this um as long as your pastor is being Gracious and saying here's how I came to my conclusions. If you disagree We can still get along because I do think eschatology particularly how we understand revelation fits into that category where we can Disagree with one another and still as long as we hold to certain Unavoidable orthodoxies such as jesus will return he will return in the future and he will return in glory.

Those things and to judge living in the dead, which are the things that are mentioned in the confessions, right? Those are the things like full preterism would deny that therefore full preterism would be a problem.

But partial preterism doesn't deny that so it's not the same. Um, those are only those are the only times where I think you should have a grave concern. Um is if your pastor does not allow for any discussion or dissension or disagreement or two if he's teaching something that would violate Christian orthodoxy christian orthodoxy demands christ will return future return bodily return.

He would judge living in the dead. How that's going to play out? Different frameworks see a different way. I'm obviously an amillennialist. Maybe i'm the king of the amillennialists but but uh outside of that, um My view on revelation again partial preterist.

I've been influenced by certain men. Uh, ken gentry being one of them. Um, But I i'm willing to say and I know my brother mike is willing to say we are.

Um.

You know, we're we are certainly willing to change our eschatology in the air if jesus were to rapture us tomorrow. So, uh, You know, we yeah, we're all uh, you know. You know that that that's it. All right, so, uh.

That's that's my answer to that question. Now before we move on to the next question I want to mention another one of our partners and that is private family banking. Private family banking is a um.