Is It Wrong for A Husband to Give His Wife Commands?

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But in every single area of life you have a leader who's naturally leading and natural leading means speaking the language of command

00:07

And like in in by doing that you're not bossing anyone around. You're not ordering anyone around You're just you know, you have a boss say hey, make sure you get those papers done today

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01:47

Welcome to bible bash where we aim to equip the saints for the works of ministry by answering the questions

01:53

You're not allowed to ask. We're your host harrison kerrigan pastor tim mullett and today we'll answer the age -old question

01:59

Is it wrong for a husband to give his wife? a command and so tim as we're kicking this episode off and you know discussing husbands and wives and Essentially the authority structure that god's put in place inside of the marriage

02:15

Uh, what bible verse do you have for us that relates to that topic? I want to read a few verses in first peter three.

02:22

So first peter three one through two says Likewise wives be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word

02:30

They may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct and then um

02:38

Verse five it says for this is how the holy woman who hoped in god used to adorn themself by submitting to their own husbands

02:45

As sarah obeyed abraham calling him lord and you are her children if you do good do not fear anything that's frightening.

02:51

So there you go All right, so that seems pretty straightforward uh

02:56

Wives, you know submit to your husband so that you might win them over that and so correct me if i'm wrong tim, but that verse is and Peter has in mind the type of husband who is not going to be a good biblical

03:14

Christian husband who is leading his family. Is that right? Yeah, I mean this this is one of those verses that would correct a lot of Husband and wife situations, but yeah, a lot of people a lot of people have the idea that A wife should only submit to her husband provided that he's loving her like christ loves the church or something along those lines

03:34

And that's simply not what it's saying and saying, you know wives be subject to your husbands Even if some do not obey the word, so it it is a pretty strong kind of concept there for sure

03:43

Right. Yeah, and it obviously doesn't excuse the husband But then I think we kind of live in a society right now where yeah, like you're saying the the wife

03:53

Essentially, they only have to obey if the husband is perfect in every way whatsoever

03:59

And the moment that they find a flaw in the husband the moment that they find You know a bad motivation behind something all of a sudden just throw everything out the window, right?

04:10

Yeah, I mean in the minds of a lot of people that's The way it goes so like whatever submission is it's kind of a hypothetical tie -breaking authority that should really never be exercised and you know if it is then you know, it's uh it should be exercised in a way that um

04:31

The wife agrees with me, you know So submission is basically doing whatever your wife says you know giving finding out submission for most people is kind of finding out what your wife wants and then giving it to her and Doing whatever she says at that point for sure

04:44

Right. Yeah, and and that kind of brings me to you know, I was I was looking at the poll you ran

04:50

Well, I guess you ran several polls on this but polls, uh essentially asking about this type of you know the the authority structure within a marriage and whether or not the the husband can command give commands to the wife and You know,

05:07

I was just reading some of the some of the responses I just I was just kind of blown away by it.

05:13

Honestly, um because You know a lot of a lot of the people that are interacting with the stuff that we put online are people that You know generally agree with us for the most part.

05:22

I mean, I mean you'll definitely get you'll definitely get posts where Uh, it just it just gets picked up by the algorithm or whatever, you know, whatever it is, you know, ultimately

05:33

I guess it's god's sovereignty, but um you know and so just all the crazies will come out and light their hair on fire over whatever it is that you said that's biblical, but um

05:45

Yeah, it was heavily suppressed a lot of times. So I think yeah Sometimes it just magically gets out, you know

05:53

So and then probably probably so yeah, um, but then you know to see people's responses to Like you put you made one post that was essentially

06:04

Is it wrong for a husband to say these things and then you gave very say, you know

06:10

Get the kids ready. We're gonna go to the park The laundry's out of control.

06:15

Make sure you take care of the laundry today And and these are like the the context was here's things that a husband would say to his wife that are completely normal, you know and it is phrases it was phrases like that and people were people were just like Raking themselves over the coals over it.

06:33

Basically. I mean You had you had some people who were saying yes, that's okay, but no he shouldn't

06:39

Say how he shouldn't have to say that You had people who were saying, you know, um

06:45

He has the right to do that. But then uh, he shouldn't if he wants to be loving you had people saying did he try?

06:54

Sitting down and talking about it first, you know all these different all these different and then you know Obviously you had the people that were that were essentially.

07:01

Oh you you had people who were saying I forgot about this. Um, Who were saying that's fine

07:07

As long as the wife is also telling the husband things to do

07:13

Uh, and so you just had all these very strange responses to completely normal Scenarios, and I think

07:21

I think um Maybe maybe it was patriarchy hannah. Uh, she she took it a step further and made a post about you know, what?

07:31

Like the house is on fire The husband tells the tells the wife to get the kids they need to get they need to get out of the house as fast as possible

07:41

And you know, and then and then the wife's response the wife's response is something like this is tyranny

07:47

Or whatever stop commanding me and then they all die Stop commanding me and then they all they all burn up in the fire and obviously that's a bit that's a bit of an extreme example, but but it's just very strange to me to see all of these different responses coming from people who are somewhere between A patriarchal view and a complementarian view of marriage

08:13

Uh, and so, you know, so I I guess with all of that being said what is your take?

08:19

I mean when it comes to Uh what the bible says when it comes to what god has told us about marriage is the husband allowed to?

08:28

Say things like do the laundry today. It's getting out of control get the kids ready. We're gonna go to the park, you know

08:35

And so on yeah, so just a little context on this I I started out by Um, I started out by basically asking and this was a question that um, you know blame, uh patriarch

08:48

Deanna for this but she was asking us to ask but I guess a husband allowed to make um, our husband

08:54

Does the husband have authority to come to um, um set limits on his wife's social media basically so So like it started out there and then uh, michelle leslie,

09:05

I don't know if you know who that is, but she's yeah, I do popular Woman speaker

09:12

Kind of in the complementarian world. She really really took issue with that like with the idea of like Phrasing it in that way.

09:20

I mean it really was a it was about as innocuously Worded as you can possibly imagine

09:25

So the poll says is it okay for a husband to set limits on his wife's social media intake and I mean she just went

09:33

She went kind of crazy on that. So I mean at that point, I mean she I mean she really uh you know

09:40

She was like talking she was saying that like the language of set limits is totally inappropriate for an like a husband to Describe a wife with right like this concept of setting limits

09:53

Like that's treating her like a child that's treating her like a pagan enemy and not like a beloved friend or something

09:59

And it's like I just I don't know. Have you never heard of a budget before you know? Yeah, you know and I I asked her that I mean like hey like, uh, you know

10:06

Is that husband allowed to set spending limits for his wife? And she she doubled down on that man Like she she did not like that language of setting limits as if it just like fundamentally dehumanizes the wife

10:18

And so then you know, like I and it's just bizarre man Because I guess I treat I guess

10:23

I treat myself like a child too because I set limits for myself I mean you can imagine.

10:29

Yeah, I mean you can imagine any number of scenarios where like you may not agree with a husband But like let's say a husband were to say hey social media is addictive.

10:36

It's not helpful too much of it's not helpful uh as a family we're gonna You know i've decided that as a family

10:43

We're gonna spend like we're only gonna spend uh, two hours a day, you know, and that would be like If someone chafes at that,

10:50

I mean I don't know what to tell you But we're we're gonna spend two hours a day or less on social media like that would be a lot, you know

10:57

Yeah And so let's say that he were to say that make that decision for his family uh, and then ask everyone to put like, uh apps on their phone like time management apps

11:08

I don't have anything to say to that if he wants to lead his family that way I may you know That may or may not be a good idea

11:13

But I I certainly he's not asking anyone to say and he's trying to redeem the time for the days are evil he's trying to protect the

11:19

His family like if he's not allowed to make that kind of decisions, I don't really know what he's allowed to do, you know uh, so um, but yeah,

11:27

I mean she really went nuclear on on that like she and She seemed to double down on it.

11:34

But then from that point on, you know, I Like it was very clear she like detested the idea of a husband setting any kind of limits on his wife whatsoever

11:45

So he can only ask like and that's what she came on saying he can ask her to do things And it's like I I don't know how you could claim to be a teacher of women

11:54

And you really don't think a husband has the authority Like the husband only has the authority to ask his wife to do things.

12:03

That's what you're saying, you know And so I mean at this point like you've like so Undermined the concept of authority to the point where it's just unrecognizable at that point

12:12

And so at that point I I was uh asking online um Like true or false like a husband is only allowed to make requests of his wife

12:22

It would be wrong for him to give his wife's commands and you know the internet's doing

12:28

That's Uh, but I mean they notice how it like innocuously worded these kind of posts

12:34

They're not really all that controversial here and so I mean I you know every you know you have your your standard group of people who are going off about that or whatever and treating that as if it's uh,

12:46

Like just monstrous like the idea of a husband giving a command to his wife How dare he like treat her like a child, you know and all that um, so I mean

12:53

I I I I responded to the the poll or whatever and I and I said like is a husband who speaks this way a tyrant, right?

13:00

So I was trying this is what you're referring to. I was trying to basically give some examples of natural like a husband

13:09

Exercising natural leadership within the home, right? Like just normal natural leadership where he speaks the language of command

13:17

That I don't think any reasonable person would conclude is bossing anyone around or you know

13:22

Being a dictator or a tyrant or anything like that. This is just the natural language of leadership in any area of life, right?

13:29

So but I was trying to give some situations. So I the first example was let's go to the park, right? Yeah, yeah the tyrant

13:40

Get the kids clothes ready i'm gonna go put i'm gonna i'm going to uh, put the car seats in the van, you know

13:47

Like so every you know, you have so many people saying that like commands are totally inappropriate It's like this is just the natural way people talk man.

13:53

I mean, this is natural way any kind of leader will talk, right? They'll say let's go to the park get the kids clothes ready.

13:58

I'm gonna put the car seats in the van All right, everyone go to the living room. We're gonna have family worship Can you imagine man?

14:05

Can you imagine the audacity? Um, you know and um, So uh put on a nice dress because we're going on a date tonight.

14:11

I lined up a babysitter so Uh, there's that uh, make sure you get the oil filter when you go to the grocery store today

14:20

Tyra I'm just thinking of the The what what is that lady's name?

14:26

Um, greta greta thunberg or whatever last name is. How dare you the the how dare you meme?

14:33

And then yeah, then uh, you know, the laundry is getting out of control. Make sure you take care of that today It's like my goodness.

14:39

This is just normal This is normal like husband just you know being a leader in his home, you know

14:46

There's nothing offensive about this And I mean people man, and they just lost lost it on on all that, you know, like let's go to the park

14:54

I mean you'd have like the You'd have really the dumbest kind of reactions to this if possible like, you know, what if she's having period cramps, you know

15:03

What if she's what if she has the flu does she have to obey him then you know and like, you know

15:09

What if she's cooking dinner, you know It's like I don't think he would ask to go to the park if she's in the middle of cooking dinner um

15:16

You know, so but I mean, it's just like what if she doesn't want to go to the park, you know What if she doesn't want to go to go on a date?

15:23

What if she doesn't want to wear a dress, you know that kind of stuff It's you know, but I think in the minds of many people like and this is really a problem with the complementarian world in general is that they um, they've really so like uh neutered this idea of authority to the point where Like basically a husband

15:44

Like and they you know, they actually say this I mean like Like they so speak against like a husband barking orders and giving commands and being a dictator or whatever

15:56

That they almost like they really do come across As if it would be absolutely inappropriate for him to ever speak this language

16:03

And part of the problem there is just this is just language that's all over the bible in every single authority relationship imaginable.

16:10

So It's just it's unavoidable. It's just the way world works And so but I really think that a large percentage of the complementarian movement

16:19

Is genuinely hostile to the idea of a husband giving commands and they look upon that with suspicion and like basically what this results like in is that At every decision point there's an expectation that the husband will go up to his wife and ask his wife

16:37

Her opinion and permission like and what she would like to do And him leading is really like in the minds of like many people within the complementarian world

16:46

I would say most like a husband leading is basically him Going up to his wife and asking her

16:52

What she thinks she should do they should do and then him deciding to do that, you know right

17:00

So I I think that that's what they think this is but then I mean those examples I gave I mean that's just Like that's those are examples of a husband just exercising natural leadership within the home that If a wife is losing her mind about that, she doesn't want to lead her, right?

17:17

Hey, hey, let's all go to the living room. Let's do family worship if she's losing her mind about that She doesn't want to lead her.

17:22

Hey, let's go to the park, you know If there's no ability that a husband has

17:28

To make a simple decision like that for the family Without her losing her mind

17:35

He's not the leader well, and and and between you and me tim, I think

17:41

That's the point all these all these people who Constantly get upset at those kinds of things.

17:49

I think that's the point They just don't want they don't want a leader or if it's the men they don't want to be the leader um because if we're being honest,

18:00

I mean, it's not like You know, obviously the world views leadership as like the end -all be -all the more authority you have the more uh, you know, the

18:09

I mean essentially the more Important you are and the more valued you are in a lot of people's minds but then there's a lot of there's a lot of Responsibility that comes with leadership and there's a lot of weight that comes with um

18:23

Leadership that I think a lot of guys don't want to take on And so they they like the idea of being able to shift it off of themselves as much as possible

18:33

Which is why you probably see a lot of men Who are coming along and saying

18:39

I don't you know? I don't do anything unless I consult my wife first and ask her what she wants to do and blah blah blah

18:45

It's just like I mean, come on you you work a job You you're either a leader there or you have or you have someone who is leading you

18:54

I mean how I mean come on you have to have times at your job Where your boss comes along?

19:01

And he doesn't he doesn't ask you what you're doing. He doesn't he doesn't ask you what you've got slated up for the day

19:07

He says hey, I need this to get done today And he expects you to do it uh, he does and he's just and And that's just how it works,

19:16

I mean that's just how it works now is that how it works every single time No, there's plenty of times where a good boss anyway would would um, you know want to know what everyone's working on But then there's just times where he's going to come along and say

19:30

I need this to get done Drop whatever you're doing do this instead and it's and no one no one has to get angry at that Because now i'm just doing what i'm just doing what the person who's in authority over me has told me to do

19:44

And that's it You see, but when you use see the issue is like and I use the analogies like that But whenever you use that you do have a certain kind of person who's just predisposed to misunderstand the way analogies work so, you know,

19:57

I I there's a There's a guy who came along and basically said, uh you know based on I had uh,

20:05

I had basically they were uh they were commenting on um Like the the last one like the laundry is getting out of control make sure you take care of that today

20:15

I I and I was basically saying is is that the statement of a tyrant husband basically, right?

20:21

And you know their response was, you know based on jesus's interactions with people I suspect he'd say the laundry is getting a little out of control.

20:27

I'll help you with it today, right? He tended to serve and not demand service. I mean, but like the problem

20:35

Is The problem is how is he going to help his wife with it today as he's going to work Kind of thing so like she has a job to do like this is like this is what a husband would say as he's leaving

20:46

The house or something like that. How is he going to help her with it? today, you know, so like the the idea though the idea there is to say that because jesus didn't come to Be served but to serve and give his life for ransom for many

21:00

Many people they understand that language to basically be The overturning of all authority structures, right?

21:08

So like the the under overturning of all hierarchies So, I mean if you imagine so like the natural response to that is the response you're giving

21:15

So I get a person who's saying well, jesus would only serve right? He would never tell anyone what to do I mean despite the fact that over and over in the bible.

21:23

He says you're my friends if you do what I say, right? Hey, just ignore the fact that jesus gave a lot of commands

21:32

And then you'll realize that he really didn't give any commands Love me, you will keep my commandments and my commandments are not burdensome, right?

21:38

The one who says he loves me does not keep my commandments is a liar and his truth is not in him Forget all that forget the ten commandments forget the old testament forget all the commands in the bible forget that those are all mean

21:49

You know that command donated the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the garden That was you know tyrant, you know all that but I mean apparently jesus like he he wouldn't ask anyone to do anything.

21:59

He would just He would just serve right? So but so but then like the comparison is the kind of comparison you make when someone responds that way

22:07

It's just to say well, I guess that means That like a boss would never ask their employee

22:14

To take care of any responsibilities they would just do it for them, right? Apparently they be a tyrant unless they'd be retired.

22:21

Yeah, like a a uh soldier, you know, like the uh The captain would never ask his you know soldiers or whatever to do anything

22:28

Like he would just do the missions for them, right? so it's like the parent would never ask the child, you know to Do it to to do anything.

22:38

He would just like don't he would never ask the child to clean the room up He would clean it for him because jesus came to serve, you know so when you say that people say oh, so what you're saying is

22:48

Like a wife is a employee. You're saying that a wife is a child. You're saying a wife is a soldier

22:54

Like these are entirely different relationships you idiot, you know And it's like yeah, but like do you understand how analogies work like there's one thing that's the same in all these relationships

23:06

Is that you have an authority figure? Who is speaking to his subordinate right in every single one of these relationships.

23:13

There are different types of relationships They're not the same in every single way But are you saying that because jesus came to serve not not he didn't come to be served but serve

23:23

Are you saying that means? That authority figures can never ask

23:29

Their subordinates to do anything like right like No, I mean, so if you're gonna say that as it relates to a husband and wife

23:37

Wouldn't you say that in other areas too? So like we don't have any concept of authority anymore, right?

23:44

And so what's unique what's interesting though? Is it's like strangely? Jesus like the fact that jesus didn't come to be served but served

23:53

It's only being applied to a husband wife relationship And no other kind of authority relationship

24:00

In such a way that the expectation is that a husband like a wife has no job and a husband has no ability to Oversee what she's doing at all and encourage her towards like being productive in it, right?

24:15

so basically like a like A husband wife relationship is the only authority relationship in the like the in existence to where like that has a completely different set of rules than any other authority relationship out there because you know, like Because for some strange reason like it just operates way differently than any anything else

24:37

But I mean it really is amazing when you think about that kind of idea for sure right and you know

24:45

The answer to this question is probably obvious at this point, but I want to ask it anyway just so that we Answer it directly, but it you know, obviously we're joking earlier

24:55

You know if you ignore all the commands that jesus gave and he really didn't give any commands Obviously jesus gave commands.

25:02

He gave commands to the apostles. Um Uh, he gave commands to all christians through the scriptures god's given.

25:10

I mean there's countless commands there But Part of what god does when he's establishing uh, the israelite nation is he gives them

25:22

I mean command after command after command he gives them the ten commandments You know, he gives them uh, all of these laws to follow and he expects them to follow them

25:32

Uh, and there's severe penalties if they disobey a lot of these laws

25:39

So it's clear that god gives god gives man commandments But what does that mean for husbands?

25:47

Uh, if if god is giving man commandments Does that mean that husbands can or cannot?

25:54

Uh get and in the same way god gives man commandments Can a husband give a give wife commandments?

26:02

I mean, so this is just such a stupid question It's I have to ask it to him

26:10

You know how they say that I mean I like to say there's no such thing as a stupid question only a stupid person But I mean this is legitimately like it's it's it's just like a mind lovingly idiotic

26:21

Kind of thought process that I don't understand So, I mean if you think about the what the bible says the bible says likewise wives be subject to your own husbands

26:32

Uh so that even if some do not obey the word they may be one without a word by the conduct of your wife like you think about that and and think about like For this is how the holy woman who hoped in god used to adorn themself by submitting to their own husbands as sarah obeyed abraham

26:46

Calling him lord like the issue is I don't know What a wife is supposed to submit to or obey

26:56

If she's if a husband is not allowed to give her anything that she's supposed to submit to or obey

27:04

Like there's there's no Like submission is meaningless at that point, right? Like there's nothing that you're submitting to like if he's not allowed to declare his will as a husband for you, right?

27:16

Then you don't there's nothing to submit to and so I mean in this this is the idea You know, so when the complementarian movement rails against the language of command

27:25

They're railing against the concept of submission like there's nothing to submit to if you can't if you can't tell your wife

27:31

Hey, let's go to the park with any expectation that she's supposed to submit to that Then you're basically never putting her in a position where she ever has to submit to anything, right?

27:43

Uh, so now I mean you could submit to with a good attitude you could submit to the with a bad attitude but like the issue is jesus did all things according to the will of the father like um like like the

27:55

Jesus gives us commands that we're supposed to be subject to he's lord. We follow him, right?

28:00

So like there's like what you have is you have a concept of submission that is totally meaningless

28:06

Like in in this kind of framework, so like if all you're allowed to do as a husband is make request of your wife

28:12

There's nothing She's submitting to at that point, right? They're just like in If if what like in the minds of most complementarians what a husband needs to do is he needs to go up to his wife in Every single situation and say hey, what do you think we should do in this situation?

28:28

and then she and then functionally like if he um If he's going to live with her in an understanding way, he should probably take that into consideration.

28:37

I mean like uh, I I uh I mean,

28:42

I know very prominent complementarian biblical counselor teachers and everything else who basically said that they've

28:49

Almost never made a decision their whole marriage that their wife wasn't on board with right?

28:54

so I think like the like the idea like the idea here is just to say that like I think when you think about What leadership is?

29:01

A lot of what's happening in the complementarian world is leadership is being basically defined redefined

29:08

So that all these examples I gave of like natural leadership within a home just like taking initiative

29:14

Having a plan carrying out that plan Executing that plan all of that's off limits because you really like you're forced to like basically

29:24

Come up to your wife and have a strategy session at every single point. There's a time to move, right?

29:30

it's I mean and what's happening on the ground is most men are just Looking to their wife and saying hey, what do you want to do?

29:37

Because I don't want you to scream at me and I would never dare tell you a plan that you haven't authorized, you know

29:43

But I mean like you think about this, you know, and i've given this example before but you think about this in any other realm I mean you just imagine like you're the coach and the assistant coach of a basketball team

29:53

You're at practice and I mean imagine if at every single point The the coach is looking over at the assistant coach is like hey

30:00

What do you think we should do first assistant coach and they're having a little meeting, right? Right, do you think we should do you think we should um

30:09

Practice our plays. Do you think we should scrimmage? Do you think we should run sprints, you know? Like what do you think we should do?

30:15

um, you know and the assistant coach is like well, I don't know like You know and they're going back and forth and then like the servant leader coach, right?

30:24

Assistant coach and whatever the assistant coach says is like yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, let's do that You know and then he communicates that to the players, you know

30:32

And I mean imagine that like in the course of the game, you know, it's like hey, you know Do you think we should call a timeout here, you know?

30:39

Or do you think we should waste our time this way, you know if if that were happening everyone would look at that coach and they would say man like I think the assistant coach is the real coach

30:53

Right, I think so. I mean but what what actually happens in real life in every single area of life, you know

30:59

Like in every single area of life and people people are not able to make this comparison in any other area

31:05

But in every single area of life You have a leader who's naturally leading and natural leading means speaking the language of command

31:13

And like in in by doing that you're not bossing anyone around you're not ordering anyone around you're just You know, you have a boss say hey, make sure you get those papers done today, right?

31:23

Like get the make sure you get the reports done today. Uh, we have a big meeting coming up Um, you know make sure you're not late for the meeting, you know, like that's what happens and no one thinks oh man

31:32

You're you're tyrant man. Oh, how dare you talk to me that way, right? Yeah, that's just the way way it goes.

31:38

All right guys. Let's let's huddle up, you know That's just the natural normal all right guys, let's let's um, it's time for devotion let's let's um

31:47

All right, turn off the turn off the games. Let's go, you know, uh, like uh, all right, it's bedtime

31:53

You know like that's that's what you do in every area of life and and if a husband has no ability whatsoever

31:59

To just be like just take initiative make simple decisions, right? You're not talking about like Selling your home and moving across the country without a word like hey surprise guys.

32:10

All right, start packing up. We're gone, you know Like what you're talking about is just like hey, let's go to the park, you know

32:17

It's Like that sounds fun. Let's get the kids the house is on fire

32:22

Yeah, I mean like if you can't just like the issue is if you if you can't make simple decisions like that Without having to have a committee meeting at every single point

32:35

Like if you can't just naturally decide things You're not a leader, you know, and so and that's the problem

32:41

And so like if you're not able to give commands like just simple natural normal day -to -day commands

32:48

If your wife is going to bristle at that, you know, like I mean with that, you know stupid like hey Let's go to the park.

32:54

I mean, I mean there's like literally You know person after person that would we're basically saying if my husband talked to me that way

33:02

I would not respect him and he's a petty tyrant and a small little man, you know and everything else and filled with insecurity

33:08

And it's just like we hate authority that Just make natural statements, hey

33:14

Let's go have family worship. How dare you? Did you not consult me that? You know, don't you care about my feelings?

33:22

What if I don't want to have it right now? What if I thought it was better? What if I had something going on, you know, what if there was something

33:27

I was doing that was important? How dare you interrupt me? It's just like all right. Come on, you know be real What if i'm pmsing?

33:35

I mean That's I mean that was literally asked like what if you know The husband is asking his wife to go to the park and it's like well, what if she has the flu?

33:45

You know, what if she has severe menstrual cramps? Does she have to obey him then? It's like I don't know of any guy

33:52

I don't know of any guy who's going to be looking at his wife curled over at a ball with severe period period cramps and say

33:58

Hey, you know toughen up. Let's go to the park. You know, we're going for a walk or something like that, you know Like Come on, like get real

34:06

I know you're curled up in the bed, you know, um can't move, you know barely look like you're alive, but um

34:12

I command you woman Get thee to the park. I command thee rise

34:19

Take up your bed and walk, you know It's ridiculous I mean

34:24

You know, I mean, I know I mean there's the flu and there's the flu I mean I can I you know people I could have mentioned like a scenario where you

34:30

I mean i've been to the Go to go sit outside nice breeze At the park, you know on a park bench not feeling wonderful and that does something for you just to get up and move a little bit and everything else but man like We just we hate we hate the idea of authority

34:47

Like in the minds of most people man, like the husband really like he has no authority He basically has this rare like white unicorn mythical tie -breaking authority that you basically never use

34:57

But he better not tell his wife to do anything he better ask her permission At every point and so it really is a sad sad state of affairs for sure

35:05

Okay. Well, I think that's a good place for us to wrap up the conversation on so thank you tim for answering all my questions and And sitting down and just trying to talk through some of this and this is certainly a topic we've covered before but man, it's just it feels like one of those topics that We're just gonna have to keep talking about for quite a while Unfortunately, and and It would be better if more more especially christian women were predisposed to wanting to actually

35:37

Take serious these commands Uh that have been given to wives from god as it relates to submitting to their husband and and obviously there's responsibility on the husband's side as well, but I do think this is a major.

35:52

I think it's like a major Area of confusion that really does define the nature of What like a husband wife relationship is like meaning like if if like we've so neutered the idea of submission at this point to where Like if you don't understand that like if a husband is really not allowed to give commands to his wife

36:19

There's nothing she's submitting to you know, she's she has nothing to submit to and so I mean I just think this is a major point of confusion that people really do need to understand

36:28

And they're so predisposed to think about like think about that language as if it's offensive and tyrannical and dictator

36:36

And all that kind of stuff and you just have to take a step back and read the bible and say Where is this outrage coming from?

36:43

Is it coming from the bible or is it just or did I get lost somewhere right in? Right my expectations and so I mean,

36:50

I I think it's just very important for people to understand That like jesus didn't like totally redefine the nature of leadership in all realms or something like that So yeah, it's important Okay.

37:02

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38:09

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38:16

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38:22

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38:38

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