Exemplary Husband (Session 2)

Our Father in heaven, Lord, we come before you this morning reminded by scripture, by your Holy Spirit, of our frailty, of our need for you, our seeming inadequacy for the task in front of us as we think about marriage, leaving our home, leaving our wives.

Father, I would pray that you would encourage us this morning. Point us in the right direction. Show us how we can, by your enablement, by your word and by your spirit, be better husbands, be better fathers, and even for those who aren't married, prepare to be the kind of man who can lead his wife well, who would indeed be exemplary.

And Father, who would seek to please you in all things. Lord, I pray for each man here this morning, that you would strengthen them, Lord, that we would encourage one another as scripture says, that we would sharpen one another.

Father, we pray for these things in Jesus' name. Amen. Well, good morning. We do have a few things over here, some apple juice and some muffins and some other odds and ends. So help yourselves. We have some plates and napkins and cups and, well, I guess the principal's office just let out.

So, I don't know what to say. Oh, yeah. I don't want to be too funny. All right, sorry. Sorry. Well, when we met a month ago, let me just ask this question first. Let me just ask the question. Oh, and nicely, we have a pencil for me to drop.

What does it tell you that we have so many movies, songs, books written, performed or whatever, about love, about marriage? What does that tell you? Just secular wise. It's important. What else should it tell you?

It's misunderstood. People desire it. People desire it. Two or three times, sure, or six or seven or eight. I mean, I knew a woman who was, I used to work with her. She was like in her mid -30s at the time, and she'd been married four times and lived with four other guys.

And I just thought, date much? Here's what it should tell you, too. How about this? That it's difficult, right? If it was easy, I mean, you know, you don't see many movies, not too many, about walking.

Why? Because it's something we take for granted, we can all do. Marriage is difficult. Relationships are hard. They take work. They take effort. I mentioned last time, you know, the line, and I really like it, I've been thinking about it a lot.

It's not in scripture, but I still like it. It says, falling feels like flying until you hit the ground, right? You think your relationship's fine, and then one day, boom, it's not. I've been surprised at the number of men that I've talked to over the last many years who had no idea that their relationship was falling apart until their wife either left them or moved out.

It's because we often get this attitude that our relationship is on cruise control. We have no idea that there's anything wrong until it cracks up. And last time, we were talking about, well, we started talking about the first three chapters of the book, and he gives some examples here.

I'm not going to go through those, but a couple highlights to just kind of get our minds right. Men and women, as I said last time, are different. This is good. This is very good. I mean, I cannot even imagine, I can't fathom the idea of, for example, homosexuality, you know, homosexual couples.

Because I'm like, who would want two of me in the same, I just can't even get that. The idea, and we're going to talk more about this this morning, the idea is that we bring different strengths and weaknesses to a relationship, right?

Because men and women are different. We also talked about major pitfalls in relationships, not pursuing Christ first and foremost. I think this is the number one issue in marriage. People say, well, it's communication, it's this, it's that, you know, what are some of the issues that people struggle with?

Well, it's money, it's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But ultimately, if you think about it this way, if you put the gospel, if you put the Lord Jesus Christ first in your relationship, other things kind of fade in into the background a little bit.

I was thinking about this this morning. What should you be looking for in a wife? And the first things that came to my mind, and I'm sure the first things that would come to your mind, does she love the Lord Jesus Christ?

That's number one. And the second one that came to my mind was, this might be a little bit different, what do you think the second thing that came to my mind was? You shouldn't be looking for a wife because you're already married, Steve.

I wasn't thinking that. Thank you, Jonathan. Well, I don't know, scripture says you find a good wife, and so, you know, I don't know, I suppose you could find one by accident, you know, with the idea of not looking for one.

I don't think it's a bad thing, though, because it's better to marry than to burn with passion. But I would suggest that the second thing that's very helpful when considering a wife is, is she a good forgiver?

Why would that be? Because you're going to need it, pal. You're going to need it. You are going to need it big time. Okay, so not pursuing Christ first and foremost. Second, pride. Pride is a major problem in a number of ways.

We are to put in on humility instead. Sinful communication. And I think this is one of the, you know, it says major pitfalls. This might be the number one, I think you could say, corrosive agent in relationships.

Because, I mean, scripture talks about it. Ephesians 4 .29 says, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear.

And I think I even said this, that our homes, if we put signs all over the place with Ephesians 4 .29 and then we notice them, like for me it would have to be in different colors all over the place so that it would actually, you know, it wouldn't fade into the woodwork or whatever.

But if we paid attention to that, our marriages would be much better. Because here's what happens. We don't even listen to ourselves sometimes to think, how's this going to sound or how is this sounding now?

And the way they are, our words are received are often not the way we think they ought to be received. So sinful communication is a major problem. We should be thinking about language that builds up, not that tears down.

A lack of appreciation and thankfulness, failing to thank our wives, you know, I mean, even small things. My wife makes me breakfast most every morning and I like to thank her for it. Well, why is that?

You know, she'll joke sometimes, well, it's the same old thing every morning. Well, because that's what I want every morning. Because there is a perfect breakfast. But yeah, no, it it's just, well, let's put it this way.

When my wife is gone, do I notice the fact that she's gone? You know, one of the ways that I notice is it amazes me how many dishes I use because I think, oh, I'll just, you know, put off the breakfast ones to lunch and, you know, how many can there be?

I'm just one guy. And then by the end of the day, I'm like, dude, who made all these dishes? And it gets, it gets bad. Another area that we mentioned was self-focused expectations, being me focused instead of focused on the relationship or even more importantly, on our wives.

Okay, so that brings us to today. And we're going to be, we're going to start talking about God's purpose, God's purposes for marriage. Dr. Scott says, by the way, I got to meet Dr. Scott at the, I mean, I know him.

I know Dr. Stuart Scott. I saw him at the conference and it was, it was just fun to see him and to talk to him for a few minutes. Marriage is good and has perfect purposes, he says, God's overall purpose for marriage.

What is it? Overall purpose for marriage? To glorify God. Thank you. And that is his purpose in all things. So God's overall purpose for marriage is to bring himself glory. This is clearly accomplished through some specific areas.

Number one, companionship. But let's look at Genesis 2 .18, Genesis 2 .18. We're talking about companionship. And would somebody read Genesis 2 .18, please? Okay. It's not good for us to be alone. Adam's in the garden.

He's alone. God says it's not good for him to be alone. I will make a helper fit for him. The word fit means comparable or corresponding to. Notice what it doesn't mean. It doesn't mean the same as. Fit means comparable or corresponding to, not the same as.

None of the animals were fit for Adam, meaning they weren't good companions for him. So then God created Eve from Adam to be a companion to him. Dr. Scott doesn't write he created Eve to be a servant for him or anything of that sort, a companion.

Now, how a husband should treat his companion. Number one, he should be with her and involved with her. Spend time with her. Be involved with her. In fact, I put here, plan to spend time with her alone.

Now this is frightening for some of us. We don't know what to talk about. Why would it be frightening for any of us, by the way? Plan to spend time with her alone. Feelings and opening up about yourself.

Yeah, I don't want to do that. Let's go back to March Madness. By the way, March Madness is thinking that marriage is easy. Okay, so plan to spend time with her alone. What does that mean? When's the last time you went on a date with your wife?

What are some of the reasons we have for not dating our wives? What's that? Too busy. Children. Children's a big one. Not planning, which we would call, yeah, sloth. It's expensive. True, people say that.

I just, sorry, I'm going to like reject all these answers. Children now is not a bad answer, right? Because then you have to get a babysitter and whatnot. But the truth is, you can find a babysitter if you really work at it.

I think this is the number one reason here. And I remember it's just hard sometimes to think of examples that don't involve me. Sorry. When I was in seminary, taking probably somewhere between 11 and 13 units and working 48 to 56 hours a week because somebody had to pay for a seminary, and that person was me.

So what I would do is work overtime so that I could, so that we could have the money to pay for a seminary because there were no scholarships for me. So with that, I remember one of the elders at Grace Community Church, I was meeting with him, and he said, Steve, you know, are you dating your wife?

And I said, well, I'm really busy. But because my wife knows that, you know, we're going out once a week. We just pick a time, and it was usually, you know, a real romantic time, like Wednesday afternoon or something like that because that was my window of opportunity.

And we would go someplace wonderful, like Burger King. So that gets to the expense part. You know, I mean, she knew where we were, you know, time-wise and money-wise and everything else. And we were just going to cut corners and just go out and spend some time alone.

But the point is we can do something. You know, we weren't going to be able to go out on a Friday night because I was going to be working. We weren't going to be able to go to the movies because I didn't have time for that.

In fact, it's funny to me, the kids will say now, don't you remember when we watched such and such a movie? And I'm like, no, I think I was asleep because, I mean, literally in bed asleep because they were doing things, you know, while I was doing whatever I had to do.

We can make time. It does take planning, and it takes energy, but we can do it. In fact, what I would really like to encourage you guys to do, and you can view this as homework if you like. What I would like you to do is in the next month, take your wives out.

And here's even better. You plan it. Everything, plan it. And then have her evaluate it. And I remember in seminary, one of the classes we had was called Pastor's Home. And Dr. Mayhew, who was teaching the class, said, this is what I want you to do.

Take your wives out. And our wives were sitting in the class, right? This was the only class they got to go to in seminary. He said, take your wives out. You plan it. He says, but here's the trick. Your wives are going to grade you because here's the goal.

The goal is for your wives, for it to be the perfect date for your wife, right? Not for you, for your wife. What does something like that do? If you're going to plan the perfect date for your wife, what does that do for you?

You have to know what she considers a perfect date. You know what we did that night? No. It was a step up from that. Not a big step up. Watch this. Watch this, fellas. This is the romantic devil that I am.

Yes! Foster freeze for corn dogs and malts. Listen, if this is what she wants, this is what she gets. She wants a chocolate chip malt. I know this. Okay, this is number one. There is no second best. This is it.

And then we went to the quilt store. The quilt store. Why would I go to the quilt store? Because she loves quilts. And guess what I never do? Go to the quilt store. I never step foot in that place. So we go out and, you know, she's like A plus, man.

Woo-hoo! And she could honestly say that. Why? Because I knew what she wanted and we did what she wanted. Plan to spend some time with her alone. Secondly, develop common interests with her. This is one, again, I mean, I don't know what to say, except I remember a time where I said, I don't have anything in common with my wife.

Well, is that true? It's not true. But, you know, she doesn't like sports. I mean, she could care less about sports. I'm really not that into quilting. And I don't want to sit around, you know, doing a quilting bee with her, whatever that is.

So what do you do? It's the noogie patrol coming for Dan Norman. Okay. What do you do? It says right there. Develop common interests. Find things that you can both do together. Maybe it's something that neither one of you have ever done, but find things to do together.

Next, let her know how she can help you with work alongside you. Let her know how she can help you. Now, that's kind of a tricky thing to do there. Why would I say that's kind of a tricky thing? Okay.

We're men. We don't need help. It'll sound like you're bossing her around. You have to be a little bit careful about that, right? There are good ways to do this, and there are bad ways to do it. A bad way to do it is something like, you know, leaving a note, do this, you know.

Mow the lawn. Probably not the best way to go. And I think it's just important that we she's not the boss, right? But I think it's important that we show respect, even in the way we ask for things. You know, honey, can you help me with whatever it is?

Or the next time you go to the store, could you do this too or something? But why would this be first of all, how you communicate is important. But why is this important anyway? Why is this important to let her know how she can help you work alongside you?

Why? That's her role. Right? We just read it in Genesis. This is why she's here. And inherently, you know, within her, she knows that. This is what she signed up for. Now here's one. Call her from work.

That can be tricky. And I have to be honest, I rarely did that, you know. I think it kind of depends on your job somewhat. What's that? Yeah. Well, I mean, in the old days, I could do it. I, you know, I just didn't call her from when I was working for the sheriff's department very often.

I did sometimes, but not very often. So I think that can be a good thing. I think in certain particular instances, when would be a good time to call her from work? An important time, maybe. Call her. What's that?

Okay. That would be an opportune time. But when do you think it would be, like, really important? Okay, when you're going to be late. When there's something unexpected that comes up. What about if there's some sort of rift between you?

If there's some kind of issue at home? If there's some kind of disagreement, or maybe she's just not real happy with you. Sometimes a call, an unexpected call, can be a good thing. Maybe she's struggling in some way, and you just want to call and encourage her.

Good. So, I mean, sometimes I think that can be very helpful. And I think the most important thing, and what I want to stress here this morning, is it says, you know, how a husband should treat his companion.

And I think the important thing is to make sure that she knows that she is not just a priority, you know. There's work. There's the kids. There's the car. There's my hobbies. There's all these things.

And there's my wife. But that she is my main priority in terms of earthly priorities. Okay. The fifth one listed here is tell her about what you do. So, tell her about what you do. What does that mean?

Share your day with her. How many of you guys have young kids or have had young kids? Brad can raise his hand. I used to come home from work, and there are a few things that would happen when I came home from work when we had little munchkins running around.

One was she actually wanted to hear about my day. This was peculiar to me. I didn't really understand. But there's a reason why she wanted to know about my day, and that's because she'd been talking to little, you know, crumb droppers all day long.

And so listening to an adult was kind of refreshing, even if I thought this is really dull and I don't understand it. For her, it was important, not only because she needed a connection to the real world, but she also cares about me, right?

So this is a good thing to do. So that was number one, by being with her and involved with her. Number two, by seeking to understand her and help her. And the flip side of telling her about your day is ask what she did today and then listen.

Here's another thing that would happen when I came home a lot. There were times where I didn't even understand who it was I was talking to, because I would say something and, you know, they weren't always the nicest things coming back to me.

Now this is before she got saved. Now she's perfect. But I would listen and I'd go, did I do something? And the answer was, generally speaking, no. I hadn't really done anything, you know, that merited what was coming my way.

But sometimes there were irregular times of the month that would, you know, change her behavior towards me. And sometimes she'd just be frustrated with the kids. And here's something that you younger men may not have learned, but I think us older guys have figured out by now.

There are times when our wives just want us to listen. My first thing, when somebody starts telling me something, because I think by nature we are problem solvers, by training I am a problem solver, because that's what police officers do.

They solve problems. So when somebody starts telling me something, my first response is, I'm going to tell you how to fix that. Sometimes your wife will tell you things that she doesn't want you to fix.

She just wants you to listen. And if there's anything more miserable in this life, it's just sitting there and listening and going, I can't do anything about this. I'm just supposed to listen. But that's what you're supposed to do.

And it's hard. It takes, you know, just love is what it takes. You have to just listen and just kind of go, okay. Sometimes she can even say something like this, did you want any input on that? Because the answer is probably going to be no.

No, I just want you to listen. Guys don't do that. I just want you to listen. No, because we want to solve problems. I don't know why I framed it this way. Yes, you have a question. I have an answer. That's a good question.

If she seems disinterested. I don't know, what do you think? What's that? Let it be. Or drone on. I vote for, you know, taking a pass. Yeah. I mean, I think. Well, I was stocking the shelves today at the grocery store.

Not that you would know. Exactly. There you go. So I think there are times when, you know, if it's just the same old, same old, but maybe she wants to hear that same old, same old. You know, I mean, it was really, in a job like I had when our kids were young, when I was working in a radio car, it's kind of hard to come along or come home and sort of encapsulate a full day, you know, because a lot of things could have happened, you know.

So, but maybe give her the highlights, the most interesting parts of the day. Yeah. Well, interesting. Yeah. Okay. Plan a regular time to talk to her about her concerns and then pray steady, help her find solutions.

Now again, this can be, I like what he says there, but I think this can come along or this can sound, if it's not done right, I mean, it can sound kind of condescending. So it should be something more like, you know, honey, is there any way I can help you?

Are you struggling with anything? Are there things that we need to talk about? Or, you know, instead of, well, hey, tell me about your concerns and then we'll pray and try to help you find solutions. So ask her how you can pray for her.

We want her to pray for us. Well, we should be praying for her. And then also here's one, pray with her. Pray with her. Spend some time. I tell people, I mean, my concern before people get married, and you young guys can get this, before people get married, I'm concerned about their physical chastity, right?

Want them to stay pure before they get married. But there's one thing that is almost, I mean, there's a certain intimacy that goes with prayer. I'm kind of like, I don't even know, you know, how much time a couple before they get married should spend in prayer because it is so connecting.

So I think it's, but for us, for married people, because again, there's an intimacy, there's a connection there. I think it's important for us to pray with our wives, to spend time with them doing that.

Thoughts or questions about that? Assist her when she needs it. Or when she doesn't need it. Is there anything wrong with helping your wife? Yes. Well, that's true. If you're going to get in the way, that's true.

What's that? Yeah, there you go. But I mean, is there, you know, I've met guys, I've heard of guys who think that, you know, doing housework is beneath them. Yeah. Yeah, I've seen that actually. So it's not a bad thing to actually do some once in a while, you know, wash some dishes, scrub a toilet, it won't kill you, probably.

I mean, who knows? It could. Okay, by appreciating her. By appreciating her, and I think this is vital. If you think this way, I thank God for my wife. And if you think in the morning, as you're praying in the morning, I thank you, Lord, for my wife.

How will that affect your attitude towards her? I think it will help your attitude towards her. Because it will cause you to reflect on the good that she does for you and to you, and that she is in your life.

You know, I just think, here's how I think about it, I mean, I don't want to get too emotional here, it's too early in the morning. But when I think about, you know, kind of the things I would say in summarizing my wife, you know, like if I were giving her eulogy, I would say a few things.

I would say, number one, she is quite simply the best person I've ever known. Right? And if you think about her in those terms, it's a little bit harder to get upset with her and yell at her and dismiss her or insult her, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, because you're thinking, okay, this is the best person I've ever known, and I'm going to talk to her that way?

No, I'm not. Thank and verbalize specific qualities or deeds that you are thankful for. I think my wife makes muffins, you know, so that I can bring them to the men's ministry on Saturday morning. I did make them last night.

And you should be thankful. You should be thankful for that. Because I never stir them enough and the baking powder or soda or whatever it is, you know, does mix in it. Okay. So there you go. And here's an important one.

Speak well of her to others. I think I might have mentioned this last week. It's so, or last time we were together, last week if you were here. Speak well of her to others. I'm telling you, you want to stand out in a crowd, just say nice things about your wife in the workplace.

It is amazing. They'll look at you like you just landed on a, you know, from a spaceship and you just stepped out because you are one special dude if you can say nice things about your wife. That's not what guys do.

Here's one. This should grab you by the throat and choke you out. Leave her a note of appreciation. Leave her a note of appreciation. You know, a note is a piece of paper where you take a pen and you write something nice.

Well, I have to say that because, you know, guys are like, well, I texted her thanks, you know. Or I put an emoji on her Facebook post. Write her a note, right? Let her know that you really appreciate her.

Take a few minutes out of your day to do that. Okay, by appreciating her. Fourthly, by treating her special as if she's special compared to others. Open doors for her. Open doors for her. I open my wife's car door because I like to just show her that I am putting her first.

In fact, when I first started doing that, she's like, you don't have to open my door. And I'm like, I know. But I want to consciously have a reminder that you're there, right? That you matter to me. And I want to show you that.

Listing, planning dates. We've already talked about that. Dates are a good thing. It's good to spend time with her because she needs to know that she is important to you. Number three says, put her needs and desires above others.

There's something wrong when other people and their needs and priorities come before your wife. And guess who notices it more than anybody else? Your wife does. And this is not a good thing. It's like the proverbial fingernails on the chalkboard when she thinks that you are more concerned about the needs and desires of other people than her.

Number four, he says, show her non-sexual affection. What does that mean? That means you can give her a hug outside of the bedroom. You can kiss her outside of the bedroom. And it's important. You know, I use this word.

I thought it was funny. I won't embarrass the person who would never hear this. But, you know, I use this word. And the person looked at me and said, what is that? Well, this is like, I think, what some guys wind up treating their wives like.

She's not your concubine. She's not somebody that is only, you know, your lover when you're in the bedroom. And this is, I mean, that's an ancient term. But basically, you know, it's just like additional wives with all, you know, without all the accoutrement.

I just want to clarify, that's not part of our homework. That is not part of your homework. That guy's in trouble.

I've got my eye on him. So, do not. Yeah, were you in the principal's office? Sent a few emails out about that one. All right, okay. Fifthly, says be sexually intimate with her, focusing most on her enjoyment.

I'm not going to say much about that. Only this. That if all you're concerned about in bed is yourself, then you are really cheating, ultimately, yourself. But you're not being right with your wife. Okay, by treating her special compared to others.

And fifthly, by revealing yourself to her. Communicate your thoughts, perspectives, and goals. Communicate your thoughts, perspectives, and goals. Not every thought, by the way. You know, if you want to have a dangerous relationship with your wife, tell her everything you're thinking.

Likewise, you don't want to know everything she's thinking. Gee, Steve, you're putting on some weight there. I don't want to hear it. It might be true, but I don't want to hear it. Why would it be important to talk to your wife about, you know, your goals?

Okay, so they can be aligned. Makes her feel involved, right? Again, getting back to that helper thing, right? This is why she's here. If she doesn't feel like, you know, she's part of your life, then there's going to be some estrangement, and you don't want that.

Another reason I think maybe it's important for goals. Any other thoughts on that, to share goals? Yeah, Mark. Yeah, I think that's good, because they, you know, she wants to kind of know where we're going.

Where is this whole, you know, train heading? Is it going over the cliff, or is there a plan here, you know? So yeah, that's good. She can hold you accountable. I think there's truth to that, too. But I think it also just kind of gives her a sense of, we really do have a plan.

We really do have a direction. And I think it can give security as well, you know, in that sense. And we mentioned let her know how she can pray for you. You want her to pray for you. You want to pray for her.

And by the same token, you know, you can't say, well, you can say, just pray for me. But if you say, pray for me because, you know, I'm studying for a promotional exam. Because, you know, I've got a difficult thing going on at work.

I've got, you know, whatever. My carpool partner's driving me crazy. Whatever it is. Or, you know, I think I have an opportunity to evangelize so-and-so. These kind of things, again, get back to the helper mode, and also make her feel involved in your life.

Bring you guys closer. Now, how could she help you? How could she help you in the Genesis 2 .18 way? Well, every marriage is different. I can't pretend to say that every marriage should be exactly the same, or that every husband and wife, you know, are going to divide the household chores, you know, the same.

Steve and Janet might do things this way. But, you know, Pradeep and Sunita might do things differently. And is that okay? Yes. You know, as long as, you know, Janet's not the one who's the spiritual leader, and, you know.

I mean, there are things that are to go to the husband, and things that are to be for the wife. And we ought not to confuse those things. But, for example, you know, is there a biblical mandate on who should run the checkbook?

No. Is there a biblical mandate on who should wash the dishes? No. Is there a biblical mandate on who should be the breadwinner? Yes. Is there a biblical mandate on who should be a helper at home? Yes.

So, I mean, there are different divisions of labor that can take place, but overall the biblical picture needs to be maintained. You know, each of us have different strengths and weaknesses. And here's what I would say.

Here's the thing, you know, I was thinking this morning about John Gershner. How many of you have ever heard of John Gershner? A few of us have. John Gershner was R .C. Sproul's mentor. And in a lot of ways he sounded like him, probably because they were Presbyterian and they smoked.

But, I digress. John Gershner had a sermon. I don't remember all of it, but I remember parts of it. And it was called, How to Possibly Escape Hell. And I was thinking this morning, well, how to possibly, you know, know women, generally.

And understand, well, I guess, understand women, you know. If somebody writes a book called, How to Understand Women, here's what I would say. Burn it. Why? Everyone's different. Everyone is different.

I mean, seriously. I mean, yeah, just erase that book. It's a terrible book. If they make a movie called, What a Woman Wants, burn it. It's terrible. Because they are... I know, I know. I never saw it.

But... I think... Alright. Everyone is different. Some other things he says here. Children are not her job. You know, I just think, probably when I was young and even more stupid than I am now. I probably had that idea.

Children are her job, right? So, what does that say? Children, you know, the children are your job. Going to work is my job. What about that? Okay? It abdicates responsibility. And really, it comes back to, are the children her job?

No. Who's ultimately responsible for the kids? You are. Right? So, this idea that you're going to, you know, just shove them off on her would be wrong. How about this idea? My wife is my employer, or my employee, I guess.

I wouldn't want to say, excuse me. My wife is my employee. She's here to help me, right? Therefore, I should boss her around like she's here to help me. Which one? The employer. My wife is my employer.

I need to work heartily as unto my wife. No. That's not right. That's not right either. But I think it's important to keep in mind who she is, how God has brought her into my life, and she is a fit companion for me, not an employee, not somebody that I can just put to work.

She is my companion. Now, how should marriage look? How should marriage look? Dr. Scott writes, the marriage relationship is to be a characterization of Christ's relationship to his people. Included in this picture is a snapshot of the gospel in that the husband's love is to imitate Christ's sacrificial love on the cross.

Let's look at Ephesians 5, verses 25 to 30. I'm turning there as if I need to because I have it all printed out here. Ephesians 5, verses 25 to 30, and if somebody would read that, please, when they get there.

Ephesians 5, verses 25 to 30.

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up that he might sacrifice her, washing of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and blameless.