Parenting &Grandparenting (Part 2)

Steve's gonna try to preempt me, so I'm gonna do it to him.

There's your cue welcome to no compromise review.

We that's about a 12 second intro which I like and by the way You can tell if we have reruns because it's back to the old English beat songs, right? So that's the rerun. That's Friday shows. Can you say English beat on the air?

They used to be called the beat in England, but there was an American band called the beat. So when the beat from England came over they had to change their name to the English.

I thought they should just change the spelling to be et, you know, what's a.

Big vegetable. Once in a while, I'll see on my Social media scrolling through things some Beal stuff behind the scenes Beatles like let it let it be stuff. Hey Jude stuff. I Didn't know they could all play so many different instruments.

Oh, well, I just think McCartney bass, but that's not true. Yeah.

No, it's not true. Yeah, you know what's funny. I talking about things that you see. I just saw Ed Sheeran play Leila you know, he goes that was the song that got him into music and. So he just goes here, you know, and he just starts planning goes, you know I don't I'm no Eric Clapton and he just starts playing it and I thought okay.

Interesting. Maybe he is. Well, he's not but you know when you're talking about instrument being able to play Multiple instruments. I think most most people who write songs Can do both a guitar and at least a little piano or you know piano and a little guitar you know that because once you understand musical theory, then you just kind of adapt and I.

Once started a sermon by saying today. I'm going to teach you how to sing a song.

And then and then the whole congregation reach for his earplugs. I.

Know the last point that the internet says about how to sing. Well is stay hydrated. Mmm, I guess you have to keep. Keep the vocal cords lined with moisture. All right, no comment. I Have a deviated septum and so I went in to talk to the surgeon about trying to fix it all and they said well It's probably 50 -50 that it'll work and then you'll survive.

Uh-huh 50 that you'll have you know, you're basically your right nostril breathable for most the day and night because I have to do those strips. At night to keep my nose open since I got hit with the baseball of all things.

I hate baseball. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I hate baseball. I was pitching. I broke my thumb playing baseball. Yeah, I mean what a sport you think I'd get hurt playing basketball or football, but no, there's baseball.

Anyway, they said I said what's the downside? What's the bad side of the 50 -50? Well, you could have like a Perforated septum and it was sound like when you talk what you'd whistle all the time and I said well since I make my living speaking.

Probably the best that I don't have to whistle every time so I said no to this. If they were to say 90 chance of fixing yeah, because I've had rhinoplasty in the past. So I guess there's only so much you could do before trouble comes.

Parenting Regrets and the Need for Humility

Today we're talking about parenting and maybe some things we did well by the grace of God and we did poorly by our own stupidity or we weren't Christians. Or whatever and then grandparenting as well. Steve last time we didn't elaborate very much on exasperating children.

I think that was a big one for me. Maybe not being patient enough with the children are understanding their frame or how old they were. Kind of assuming, you know, they thought like I did and so well, that's I think I I regret maybe being a little too Hard and having my face maybe not smiling when I would give correct commands.

But just kind of from uh, you know, who are you to mess with me kind of thing? Hmm.

Yeah, I mean, I I mean it's hard for me to remember, you know exactly what I was like as a dad. You know because I think our tendency. Maybe not for everybody, but I think our tendency is to remember the good things and.

Yeah, and you know some of the bad things maybe not some so much of the bad things. But I think you know, if anything I probably was Not anywhere near as patient as I would have liked to have been you know.

Yeah, I Mean things. I either I did not have a lot of self-restraint back then. I I mean the one the one thing that's amazing to me you know now is to watch the way people parent and the way, you know, I mean cursing is just like Second nature and I'm like boy a boy.

I just never you know. If I ever would have cursed in front of my kids, I would have apologized even as an unbeliever, right? I just would have thought I shouldn't be doing that, right? Because I would have recognized the the wrong the wrongness in it.

You know that and not the sinfulness because I had no concept of of that but the wrongness of it and and now I'm just like people this is how they talk to their kids and I'm like Are you kidding? I mean just if they're upset or if they're happy, they just kind of let go with these profane tourists.

They all have Tourette's. Oh See, I remember when I said something bad and I don't even remember what word I said. I would never say the f-word when I was a kid, but I remember I swore and then I remember tasting ivory soap.

And my mom had to wash my mouth out with soap and I just that only needed to happen about one time.

I you know, I think you know, it's funny because There was a little issue in my family growing up and that was that my brother actually liked soap. So. Well, I flavored so no just like I mean I I think they they got him one time like eating shaving cream and you know.

It's just like he's a little goofy and you could tell. Obviously. Well, I mean if you look at him now you go. Yeah, well, you could see where that all went so. Love you Raj anyway. Yeah, so so mom, you know, she got really inventive after that and those were.

Her inventions were most unfortunate.

Talking to Children Early About Sex and Pornography

Let's talk about another thing regarding parenting. The Error that some dads make with moms, of course. Not talking about the proverbial birds and bees early enough. That is to say in the old days probably kids lived in a bubble and you know.

You could wait till they were you know. Just before puberty and talk to them. And now you're probably gonna have to talk to them much sooner because everywhere you look. It's just sexploitation. What are your takes on that?

Well, I Mean, it's it really has gotten to the point where if you don't tell your kids they're going they're going to find out You know and earlier than you think because of the Internet and everything else.

I mean there are You know situations I'm aware of where where kids have learned unbelievable things at very young ages and That you know, they're not ready to handle it, but they have no grid whatsoever Because their parents haven't prepared them for him.

And but I would say first of all, I would say as long as you can keep your kids off the Internet or Segregated away from anything remotely sexual and you're going to be disappointed when you find out how many different ways your kids will work to get around all the You know safeguards that you put up and Whatever you think you can do.

Somebody's already found some way around it and the neighborhood kids will tell them and the kids at church will tell them. And you know, so long and short of it is It's almost got to the point where I'm not gonna set an age.

But if you're if you're waiting till 11, you're waiting too long.

And if you're a dad and you're just waiting for your wife to do it, it's something you should do. Of course you I mean for us I I talked to the children both boys and girls and that would be separate.

But Kim would be there and then I would say to the girls by the way. You can always ask me questions if you want. But you probably talk to your mom more about this subject and that's fine and just the parents leading and I think sometimes Maybe it was with my parents.

It's uncomfortable to talk about sex with your children. It's it's a little awkward and embarrassing and Therefore some some men just don't want to do it. They're just I I'm not gonna do that I'll let my wife do it.

And so I just think parents don't make that mistake where you don't talk to your children about it. And as pastor Steve just said Remind me of a Luke story Luke said when somebody on the playground said look take a look at this with the cell phone.

It was gonna be porn and You know, I want to be Steve the one to teach my children about God's ordained view of sex what it's for His good pleasure in marriage. Loving one another not taking or something because then it leads in To me to talk to Luke about all the dangers of pornography.

And Luke don't we want to try to protect our sisters? Yes. Don't we try to protect our mother? Yes. Matter of fact, you can you can hit people if they're gonna not do something in nice to your mom, right?

If they're gonna sorry if they're gonna try to hurt your mom, you can hit them. That's why you have fists and bigger shoulders, etc. But when we see people in need we help them especially women and these girls on The internet sites.

They're not doing this for free. They don't do those things because they want to it's harrowing. And other things and so when we see a woman in distress We should say I want to rescue them versus I want to use them.

I want to have those conversations with Luke.

Chivalry, Public School, and the Sexualization of Children

Yeah, well, I mean Chivalry is a dead and buried in many parts of the United States as evidenced by that former Marine who got You know charged for for basically rescuing a woman who'd been socked in the face by some dude.

You know and you just think this is the world we live in, you know where it's okay for boys to hit girls and you know, I mean crazy stuff that that you know in. When it when I was a kid. Everybody would have condemned instantly and now you know, not so much but you know getting back to the parenting thing I think it's I think it's good for parents to just resolve.

This is the world we live in. We we have to stay ahead of the curve. We don't want our kids. We don't want to play catch-up. You know, and if your kids I'm not saying anything about The sinfulness or the lack of sinfulness about how you educate your kids.

But if you're if your children are in public school, well, then that just pushes it even further you know when you have public school teachers who think it's their job to teach about all manner of abominable Sexual behavior starting it even in kindergarten.

You know Timmy has two daddies, you know all these kind of you know Books and everything that they're getting given to kids now. You've got to start earlier and earlier explaining in an age-appropriate way I hate that phrase.

But you have to start talking to them earlier and earlier and earlier to combat What the what the world is essentially trying to do which is to get your kids ready for sex younger and younger and younger.

Steve we have homeschooled. We have private Christian schools. We have public school and when our children were in public school I know Kim would meet with the English teacher and get all the books that they were going to read and she'd read them all right just to try to work through or say, you know, you can't read this section and a lot of rape and Suicide and cutting and all these things.

I'm like, what is going on? What in the world and I.

Just it's unconscionable. I get so angry, you know when I see people Saying that there's book banning going on these days and I'm like really What books are being banned because I've missed those acts of Congress that have banned books and they're like, well No, they're being removed from school.

And I'm like, have you read them? You know, I mean if you see even some of the graphic depictions in some of these books, well, congratulations you've just seen pornography because that's what they're giving kids in school and you know, if those books get banned and You know, I'd say I'm okay with that.

Totally. Well, I think and this is probably diving into another subject I don't know if we want to go into but I think a lot of the trans stuff, you know. What children can decide? If they want to be a boy or a girl and therefore at three or five or eight they can decide and they can give their consent because what they're after is they're after with child sex and.

What's stopping them will consent? And so if children can consent to have a double mastectomy they can consent to have.

Sex with adults. Yeah, don't be don't be naive. I mean, this is this is Essentially preparing kids to be sexual objects, that's the end game. Yeah.

Family Bible Time and Teaching Doctrine at Home

My cave and Roth was Steve Cooley today a no-compromise radio. We're talking at a high level here about. Well they can judge if it's high level or not, but.

At a high altitude level. It's rather rudimentary myself of things.

We either did wrong Lee as parents or we did rightly or things we see in other people. What about Bible times? Having Bible times and try to encourage parents. Maybe you don't do it every night. But four or five nights a week three nights a week.

Just so that the children look back in life and say yes. We we sat around and learned the Bible and dad open up the Bible. What are your thoughts about? Mistakes or good things that happen around family Bible time.

Don't use Dake's mistakes. Dake if you don't know it as a study Bible by I he's probably Antitrinitarian and charismatic or something. It's like a oneness Pentecostal type. I just remember you talking about it.

Take study Bible. Somebody gave it to me. They're like, well, why don't you teach from this? They said let me count the ways. I already have an authoritative study Bible. Mm-hmm. Wow.

The Avon draws that no-compromise study Bible.

I've been in rooms. They were people have said they'll never be my name on a study Bible and then there has been so there there never will be A study Bible with my name on it. Unless my name I just write my name.

The half and wharf. Uh-huh.

Family Bible times. Yeah, I you know, I I think again it gets back to and I know I've talked about this before but what I would do is if we're reading the Bible or if we were reading like if I just like grab concise theology or now that's a good question or Something else and then went to the dinner table.

You know just kind of dependent on dependent on how much time I had how much time we had. You know because various things going on sometimes somebody had to leave sometimes it was me. And so what would I do?

I'd sit down and we would talk about Usually if it was the Bible I'd still try to get to some doctrinal point where I could teach about that and talk about some important doctrine and I would ask questions and The way I would make sure and I've I think this is just basic common sense if you know.

You've got a span of ages. You want to aim at the youngest one to make sure that that one is understanding? I mean within reason if you got a two-year-old at the table, obviously. You don't have to figure out if they if they understand what's going on.

My two-year-olds they they knew Hebrew. I taught him Hebrew by two. Well, well, they never they understand. They didn't know what Masoretic texts was, but they knew Hebrew. That's very impressive. Very impressive.

Yeah, I mean because if I I knew our youngest child is Megan and I knew if Megan understood what we were doing that or what I was saying then Kristen and Steve jr. Would understand too. And so, you know, it was like, you know, I I mean I could I grill Steve jr sure, you know, but.

And there were times I'm sure I did ask him a question just to make sure he was paying attention. Because he was prone, you know, you know how boys are and they just think oh this is so easy or whatever.

So I just kind of zing him once in a while and he'd go. Oh Sorry dad. I wasn't listening.

Simple, Consistent Family Discipleship

Steve I think you bring some good points up as we're sitting there teaching our children. I think my my biggest problem early on was I thought I had to prepare a sermon to teach the children, right? And I thought you know what?

This is has to be another I have to look at commentaries and everything else. I mean if you're a dad and you say I'm just gonna go to Exodus and I'm gonna read the study notes in my ESV Study Bible Reformation Study Bible or whatever study Bible use and then I'm gonna read Exodus 1 and I'm gonna talk to the children afterwards about what can we learn about God and sin?

And why do we need a Savior? Then the next day you say what do we learn yesterday? Now, let's read Exodus 2. It's not that hard and hopefully then your wife will say oh, I'm thankful that my husband's leading.

He's got the Bible open. He's teaching. Steve is there something else to be said to besides regular family Bible time? Deuteronomy 6 right after the Shema there the here. Oh Israel the Lord our God the Lord is one.

It says you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house. And when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise in other words Is there something more than just a formal Bible time or should there be something more than that?

Well, I mean, wouldn't you would you want in your household for there to be, you know a fairly consistent? I want to say constant, but that's not realistic fairly consistent kind of gospel tone to the to the Conversations, wouldn't you like, you know, Jesus?

To be mentioned positively right. Frequently during the course of the day in your home. I mean, isn't that kind of I mean if people, you know. If you were on some reality show or whatever, wouldn't you want those people to say who are watching just go man?

They sure talk about Jesus a lot. You know, man, they sure pray a lot man. They sure do this a lot. You know, I mean, isn't that isn't that good and is it just so that people observe us or just so. No it's because.

That's to be the focus of our life, right?

So so true and how many times are there something that come up in life and then we can use the biblical theological truths to help Understand that particular subject. So I just I've just randomly look at a proverb proverb.

I'll let Proverbs 11 Verse 22. Like a gold ring and a pig snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. And so let's say you see somebody at the beach or whatever and they're they're dressed inappropriately and and you're thinking you know What this is just not right.

Here's how we think about it. And so I'm all for formal Bible times when the dad opens up the Bible for us. It was during dinner after dinner and then other times where you're just teaching the children about Ants and laziness and work and industry through the lens of the Bible.

Hmm.

I mean just you know basics about life. I mean just just things like, you know Why should you be prepared for to go to work or for job interviews or for whatever, you know? I mean, these are just things you're passing along.

Wisdom that the lessons that you've learned in life and the biblical applications, you know. Just kind of flow out of that too. You want to stand out at work. Work hard, you know. You want your boss to be impressed always tell the truth?

I mean, you know just basic things and you're you're going to stand out especially these days. That's so true.

Schooling Choices and the Limits of Public Education

All right. We're talking today on no compromise radio about parenting and what to do when it comes to parenting. What about the whole homeschool public school private school? Don't you think. Steve eventually public school is gonna be a non option.

It's not gonna be an option for Christians.

Well, we send our kids to school on the moon. So I Mean it's it's it's hard, you know, I mean homeschooling has its own challenges. Some kids are just Shall we say homeschool resistant, right? Public schools have their problems just because as we as we were talking about earlier the I Mean when it when I was in school, I mean, I'll admit it was a long time ago, but We would we would learn actually I remember we had a sixth grade teacher who taught us Negro spirituals, you know and so we were singing like Christian songs without understanding that they were Christian songs, you know and just just different things like that and I'm like boy, I bet they wouldn't do that these days.

I mean if this meme, I don't know if you've seen this, you know, imagine. You know, there's a teacher at school who's baptizing kids and keeping it a secret from the parents the the outrage there would be right.

But now it's like it's fine did. Tell your kids that they can be a different gender and keep that secret from the parents.

When our children were at the local high school here they Learned in one of their history lessons about Calvinism and its influence in New England. And I thought that's more and they had to learn the the tulip acronym about cow really that's what I would learn.

And it compared to the King James fundamentalist school that we sent him to for a while. While they learned, you know some great things there that they would have never learned that right and I think about my brother Pat if memory serves.

Molly was trained as a teacher was a teacher then they had their children and I think she's back into teaching now. Hmm, and so if someone said well, would you like to have Molly Abendroth? And I don't know what she teaches her age as the fifth grade teacher.

Or would you rather have somebody at home who's basically not teaching their kids and it's basically self school. You can just learn on your own at home. What would you rather have and I'm thinking I'd love to have Molly Abendroth as my children's teacher so I don't want to just say dogmatically public school is always wrong and private school is Sometimes okay and homeschool is the most righteous.

Mm-hmm. I say whatever you want to do as a parent. That's on you.

Well, what about Moses? He was homeschooled.

Was it. Was Jesus homeschooled? What would Jesus do?

All right. I'm pretty sure he didn't go to the local public school.

But seriously, I I don't know if my grandchildren or great-grandchildren can make it through public school without you know. Just this is just too crazy. It's it's teachers unions and rough. Uh-huh.

Well, maybe maybe in Montana or something, but here in Massachusetts. Probably not. I don't know. All right, how about Training children and they get a little bit older. What do you do Steve with you know?

You give them a little more rope and some more responsibilities and kind of test them a little bit and maybe driving and How do we work from they're young and we just tell them what to do to now? We kind of have to coach them a little bit from being the drill instructor slash.

Parent who tells them the truth to I want to just have you own some of these truths. Any any advice there.

Giving Children Responsibility and Clothing Allowances

Well, I'm gonna take it a slightly different direction than I normally would. I we were. My wife and I were just talking about when we came upon this idea of giving the girls a clothing allowance. And it was because you know Clothes became this sort of wrestling match between us and the kids, you know, and things that were appropriate.

Things that cost a ton of money, you know, whatever. So when we said well here you can have this money. This is what you get to spend per month, you know. And you could spend it all on a pair of shoes.

You could do this you could do that. You could do whatever you want, but whatever you buy that's what you're going to be wearing and it better be appropriate, right? So what what winds up happening is now the kids have they have agency in this and.

So one of them was like well, I'm going to buy the clothes that I want to wear and if I only have You know two sets of clothes. Those are just the ones I want and the other one was like well I just want to have Every you know a ton of stuff.

So I'll just go buy cheap clothes. Okay, you know, whatever whatever floats your boat, right?

Okay, I like that. Well Steve today. We talked a little bit about parenting. If you've got parenting questions, dear listener. You can always write us. I thought Stream of consciousness work pretty well Steve.

I can ask you any question. You just know how to answer it.

No, but I but I have an answer whether it's whether it's right or not, you know.

My cave and Ross Steve Cooley. No compromise radio. Thanks for listening.