What if WWUTT Did Play-by-Play for Major League Baseball?

Baseball Trivia and a Play-by-Play Parody

And that's just a ridiculous price to pay for a haircut, so that's why I look a little shaggy today. It's a beautiful Friday evening at Citizens Bank Park, a great night to be out with the family. Attendance for this game, 33 ,490.

Here's the 2 -2 pitch. Stott fouls a 94-mile-per-hour fastball off his ankle. That's gotta hurt. Count stays 2 -2. Now, Stott's RBP, or reach-base probability, as you'll see there in the lower right-hand corner, is 24%.

That is a completely arbitrary number. There is no way to calculate whether he will get on base with that foul off his ankle. You'd think that probability would go down a little bit, wouldn't you? Stott is back in the batter's box.

Here's the 2 -2. Round ball to the left side. Chapman turns and throws out at first. And just like that, Stott's probability of reaching base is 0%. One out in the bottom of the sixth. Score is 4 -2, Phillies.

Here is the answer to our baseball trivia question. Where is baseball first mentioned in the Bible? And the answer, Genesis 1 -1 in the big inning. Congrats to Paul Abrams for being the first to text in the correct answer tonight.

A Young Fan, a Catechism Giveaway, and a Comment on Gender Ideology

Center fielder Yoan Roas up to bat. First pitch is a foul ball up the first-base line. Strike one. Our junior fielder on the first-base side tonight is Grace McGillicuddy. She's 13 years old, says here she likes Pomeranians and Trapper Keepers, and she hopes to someday play Division I softball on a team where men are not allowed to pretend they're women.

Amen to that, Grace. Here's the 0 -1 to Roas. Low fastball. Ump calls it a strike. It's 0 -2. Roas doesn't like it. A reminder that tomorrow is Reftoons Night at the ballpark. All fans will receive an illustrated copy of Paul Cox's Baptist Catechism for Kids.

My wife and I have used this with our children, and it is a joy to have. A great way, dads, to raise your kids in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Here is the 0 -2 pitch. Just a bit outside.

Ball one.

Prayer for Gospel Advance and a Closing Quip

Be in prayer that the gospel of Jesus Christ would spread throughout the cities of Philadelphia and San Francisco. Look at those fans. Total depravity right there, like the good book says. Sinners in need of a savior.

Here's the 1 -2 pitch. Roas with the chopper to the second baseman. The throw to first. And he's outie like a belly button.