WWUTT 081 Husbands and Wives (Colossians 3:19)

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God created the institution of marriage to be enjoyed between one man and one woman for life.
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And that's what we're going to be talking about today. But even if you are not married, this lesson is still very important since marriage is supposed to be the picture of the way that Christ loves
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His church when we understand the text. Many of the
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Bible stories and verses we think we know, we don't. When we understand the text, as an online ministry committed to teaching sound doctrine and exposing the faulty, visit our website at www .utt
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.com. Now here's our host, Pastor Gabe Hughes. Thank you, Becky, my darling wife, who opens and closes these devotional programs.
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I mention her again today because we're going to be talking about husbands and wives as we continue our study in Colossians 3.
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I am a happily married man. I love my wife and I have a wonderful marriage. Not because I'm a rocking husband or she's a rocking wife, even though I think she is, but it's because our marriage is founded on the rock of Christ Jesus.
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And we established that very early on. We set guidelines and boundaries while we were dating.
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Then when we were engaged, we went through premarital counseling. We went to the Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference.
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We did that before we got married and then we went again after we got married. And I highly recommend that, by the way.
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The Family Life Today Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference. If it ever pops up in a city near you, go.
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There's my endorsement for the Weekend to Remember. Anyway, our marriage is founded on Christ.
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Started out that way. We have continued that way. And it is Christ that is going to keep us rock solid.
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And so what we're going to be looking at in the scriptures today is the picture that marriage paints of the way that Christ loves his church.
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And how in the way Christ loves his church, that is how we are supposed to love one another. The way that wives love their husbands.
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The way that husbands love their wives. Very short lesson today. We're still doing the full 20 minute devotional.
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But one verse. Colossians 3, verse 18. Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting to the
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Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. There you go.
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That's it. So devotional over. No, I'm just kidding. Like I said, we're going the full 20 minutes. But we're going to go to a different section of scripture to kind of understand this a little bit better.
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Before we do that, let's come to the Lord in prayer. Our wonderful God, we thank you so much for the gift of marriage.
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This relationship between husbands and wives that become a picture of the way that Christ loves his church.
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Even if we have listeners today that are not married, this is still a very important lesson.
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Because we still are to look at marriage, which you created, as that picture of how
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Christ loves his church. So continue to illuminate that to us as we come to this text today.
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And with your spirit, guide us in these things we pray. In Jesus name. Amen. Let's look at that verse one more time before we jump to another section of scripture.
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Colossians 3 .18. Wives, submit to your husbands. Now there is a lot of tension in our culture today over that word.
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You have Christians that will contend over this word. Not to mention that there are non -Christians who criticize the
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Bible and criticize Christians because of verses exactly like this. But here is what many of those who contest with these passages tend to overlook or tend to miss.
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Paul is using the word submit instead of the word obey.
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Whether you're talking about a Greco -Roman culture or a Jewish culture, the men expected their wives to obey them.
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And wives were told to obey their husbands. Paul uses a different word. He says, wives, submit to your husbands.
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Now that's significantly different than obey. How is that different? Because the command to obey, the way that it came from the pagan secular culture, was oppression.
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Wife, obey. Slave, you must obey. Okay? But the scriptures say submit.
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You have been set free in Christ to willfully submit. Whereas previously in your sin, you could not submit.
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You were a slave to the passions of your flesh. In Christ, you've been set free.
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So we delight to submit to His authority. Ultimately, when we're talking about a wife submitting to her husband, we're talking about a picture of the way we're all supposed to submit to Christ.
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Now there are things that a man has been designed to do that a woman cannot do.
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Likewise, there are things a woman is called to do, has been designed for, that a man can't do.
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And men and women complement one another in their strengths and weaknesses to form a functioning body.
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Now, I'm not just talking about marriage here. I'm also talking about the way the entire church functions.
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We see that complementarian aspect most realized in marriage.
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The way that wives fulfill their calling that God has for them, and husbands fulfill their calling.
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And the way that husbands and wives work together form a complete unit. So we see that actualized in marriage.
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But the entire church is supposed to function this way. Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
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If your name's Stan, and you've got a friend named Bill in the church. Bill has been called to do something that you,
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Stan, cannot do. So you've got to submit to the gift that the Spirit has given
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Bill. No matter how great that gift is, or even if it's one of the lesser gifts.
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You still submit to the Spirit's calling for him. And likewise, Bill's going to submit to your calling, your giftings in the
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Spirit. We submit to one another in the church. There are also things that women are called to do in the church that a man cannot do.
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And there are things that a man has been called to do in the church that a woman can't do. Very easy example is 1
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Timothy 2 .12 I do not permit a woman to teach, rather she is to remain quiet.
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Now that doesn't mean women can't talk in church. What that is talking about in context when you look at it, is that the role of a pastor is specifically designed for a man to do.
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A man has been called to fulfill that role of being an elder or an overseer in the church.
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Now there are things that a woman can do in the church that a man cannot do. We see this in the mentorship aspect that's painted in Titus chapter 2.
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Older women mentoring the younger women. There are ways that a woman mentors another woman that a man cannot mentor a woman in.
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Do I really need to spell that out as to why? It would probably even be inappropriate for a man to give certain pieces of advice to a woman dealing with certain issues.
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Maybe certain things about her body. A man is not supposed to delve into that territory. That is for an older woman to mentor a younger woman in those things.
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So the church is supposed to be a mix of older and younger men and women functioning together in our strengths and weaknesses.
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And we submit to one another in this way. Now again, the clearer picture of submission is primarily in marriage between husbands and wives.
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But this is a picture of the way that the whole church is supposed to be. When a wife submits to her husband, she is the example of how we all are called to submission to one another.
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So this is a way that a wife has been called to a thing that a man can't do as well.
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A husband is also supposed to submit, but he can't show the example of submission better than a wife can.
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That's for a wife to do. To show that act of submission to her husband in the way that she knows that God has designed her husband to fill a certain role.
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He's supposed to be the head of the household. So she submits to that calling for him because she is submitting to Christ.
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Not just because she is submitting to her husband. It's all to the glory of God. Now, even though men are also called to submission, they don't show that perfect example of submission the way that a woman can.
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For a man is also supposed to step up and fulfill the role as head of the household. So this calling upon women to submit to their husbands,
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Colossians 3 .18. Notice that this does not say all women are supposed to submit to all men.
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The Bible doesn't say that. In fact, guys, if a woman cop stops you, you get pulled over on the side of the road and she comes over to give you a ticket.
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You've got to submit to her authority. If your governor of your state is a woman, you have to submit to her authority.
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We read that in 1 Peter 2, in Romans 13, that we need to submit to the governing authorities.
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If your boss is a woman, you have to submit to her authority. You can't grab your Bible, take it to work and say, the scriptures say here that you've got to submit to me.
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Bible doesn't say that. So there are women in powerful positions that men will have to submit to.
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The Bible does not say that all women have to submit to all men. But in the role of marriage, a wife is to submit joyfully to her husband as a picture of submission to Christ, as is fitting to the
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Lord. As we go on there in Colossians 3 .18 to read, husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
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And on this portion, as we expound on this theology a little bit more, let's go to Ephesians 5.
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So turn with me over to Ephesians 5. We're going to start in verse 15, read all the way to the end of the chapter, and then we'll kind of go back through it and do our exposition.
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So Ephesians 5, starting in verse 15. Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil.
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Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the
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Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the
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Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the
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Father in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. All of this sounds pretty familiar, right? We've seen this also in Colossians 3.
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Okay, let's continue. Verse 21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
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Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its
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Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
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Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that he might be holy and without blemish.
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In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
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He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
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Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
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This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
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However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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So why did I start this in verse 15? Because what we're going to see here are three contrasts followed by three commands, and at the end of that third command, it branches out into three contexts.
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So let's look first at the first contrast, Ephesians 5 .15. Look carefully, then, how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
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There's the first contrast. Don't be unwise. Instead, be wise and make the best use of your time.
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Verse 17, we see the second contrast. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the
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Lord is. I recently wrote a blog. If you go to pastorgabehughes .blogspot
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.com, you'll see the blog that I wrote about T .D. Jakes and Stephen Furtick, and I explain in that blog that we're talking about in this passage the revealed will of God, not the hidden will of God.
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So what we know that God has revealed in the Scriptures, we submit to that and obey it.
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Don't be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. In other words, understand what the Scriptures say. That's the second contrast.
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Here's the third one. Verse 18, and do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the
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Spirit. So this is saying don't fill yourself up or find pleasure in the temporary things of this world, because those pleasures are fleeting.
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And not only is it fleeting, but it will also lead to sin. So instead of being filled up with temporary pleasures in this world, instead be filled with the eternal things of the
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Spirit, which is eternally fulfilling. So then following those contrasts are three commands.
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Verse 19, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in the
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Lord with your heart. That's a command. It's a delightful command, but it's a command. Verse 20, giving thanks always and for everything to God the
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Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Again a command, and we delight to obey that command because we know that in Christ we have been set free.
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And then verse 21, another command, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
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Now after that third command, then it branches out into three contexts, and these contexts fall off of that last command.
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In verse 21, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Because when you read this in the Greek, verse 22 in English says, wives submit to your own husbands.
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But when you read that in the Greek, there is no word for submit in verse 22. It's actually borrowing the word from verse 21.
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So submit only appears once. In English it translates different, still saying the same thing.
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It's just the way that it's worded differently in Greek and in English. So we're borrowing the verb from verse 21.
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When we get to verse 22, wives submit to your own husbands. So as we are called, all of us, to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, the wife's submission to her husband is the picture.
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In what God created marriage to be, it is the picture, the way that everyone submits to one another out of reverence for Christ.
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Complimenting one another in our strengths and in our weaknesses. The way that a husband and wife compliment one another in their strengths and weaknesses and in the roles that God has called for them to fill.
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Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior.
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Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
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There you have it. That beautiful picture of the way that we are all to submit to Christ and we all submit to one another in our respective callings and our respective spiritual gifts within the body of Christ.
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Now we get to verse 25. Command for husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
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That he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
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Now the way that our culture thinks, they will think that a greater imposition has been placed on the wife than on the husband.
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No, not true. It's just because our culture gets upset about that word submit. Submit to your husbands.
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A woman can do everything just as good as a man can do. No, really she cannot.
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God has created women a certain way and he's created men a certain way and men are supposed to do certain things and women are supposed to do certain things and men can't do what women have been designed for and women can't do what men are designed for.
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I don't think I have to give you a biology lesson for you to understand that men and women are different.
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They are designed differently. They are designed for different purposes.
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There are things a woman can do a man can't. It's a ridiculous argument that our culture even tries to have and it distracts from the point.
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The wife does not have the greater imposition by being called to submit to her husband. Rather, the husband has an even greater responsibility when he is being called to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
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Men, give your whole lives. Give yourself up for your wife.
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You are the example of that kind of humility that we are to display as Christians.
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Give yourself up. Jesus said in Luke chapter 9, if anyone calls himself my disciple, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow after me.
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Husband, the way you love your wife is the earthly picture of that that Christ has called for every one of his disciples to do.
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Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
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Husbands, you are your family's spiritual provider.
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In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
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Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
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This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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So our first context is husbands and wives, wives and husbands. The second context comes up in Ephesians chapter 6, verse 1.
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Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. It's between parents and children. And that's the subject that we're going to be talking about tomorrow as we resume our study of Colossians chapter 3.
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Thank you for listening to When We Understand the Text. Pastor Gabe is the author of the book 40 of the
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Most Popular Bible Verses and What They Really Mean. Available in paperback or for your Kindle. Found at our website at www .tt
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.com Join us again tomorrow as we grow together in the study of God's word when we understand the text.