What are some practical & meaningful ways to show appreciation to our pastors? - Podcast Episode 126

Welcome to the GodQuestions Podcast. Many of you may know that October is

Pastor or Clergy Appreciation Month. It's a month that our nation sets aside to give us opportunities to show appreciation to our pastors.

And I believe October 9th is actually Pastor Appreciation Day. So I thought a good episode would be for us to discuss with two pastors how we can show appreciation, what are some maybe standard ways or maybe some out -of -the -box ways that we can show appreciation to our pastors.

I've never been in pastoral ministry, but I've been close friends with enough pastors that I know it can be a very difficult job.

It can be a very draining ministry. There's a lot of discouragement that can be involved. So our pastors need appreciation, and there's many pastors in the

Bible that talk about encouraging one another. And of course, that goes for us and our pastors as well.

So joining me today is Kevin, the Managing Editor of GodQuestions Ministries, who has been serving in various pastoral roles for the past 28 years.

And also Nelson, the Director of Video Content at GodQuestions Ministries, who has 10 years of pastor experience.

So pastors, welcome today. And Kevin, why don't you go ahead and start us off. What are some ways that you would feel especially appreciated as a pastor?

Well, I'll start off with being like the main thing for,

I think, any pastor would be what John talks about in 3

John 1, verse 4, I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

And so you really want to please your pastor, give him that great joy, walk in the truth, be committed to Scripture, and be following what the

Lord says. And Paul also mentions in Philippians 2, in verse 2, make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and one purpose.

So this is good news to any pastor's heart that he would be able to see his congregation loving each other, agreeing with each other.

So lack of dissension, being of one purpose and of one mind.

I'd like to start there and just say, if you really want to do what's best for your pastor, make your pastor happy.

And a happy pastor is an energized pastor, love each other, and walk in the truth.

That would be the starting point, I think, for any pastor's appreciation month. And then just make that continue through the whole year.

Nelson, how about you? I completely agree. They're just like John expressed in Scripture and Kevin just now, there is no greater joy than to see those whom you pastor and look over, those who you've spent a lot of time and invested in, much of that time they don't see.

It's done in your study. It's done counseling many people among them that they have no idea of the time you invest in families and in counseling, in emergency situations.

A lot of people don't see any of those things that are happening. They may only see what happens on Sunday morning.

And so it's such an encouraging thing for a pastor to see that people are listening, that they're responding, that lives are changing, that marriages are improving, that family dynamics are also improving as well.

And so when you see that, when you see people that you've worked with, that you've prayed for, that you've spoken to, maybe even some that there's been some discipline issues, but they've turned around and that their lives are improving, that they're walking with the

Lord in obedience, there's nothing better than that. There's a sense of fulfillment as a pastor.

You get to see and you understand in yourself that your role, that your work, that you're doing something, that the

Lord is using you in a powerful way. And that is such an encouragement. And that energizes you to do more. You know, a happy pastor really does make a difference.

And so that's really important for me too. So yeah, I would say the same thing. I completely agree.

The greatest gift you can give your pastor is that your ears and your heart, so listening to him, following along what he's saying as he's pointing to Jesus, pointing to scripture and you're following God's word.

And your pastor is able to see that reflected in your life and in your family. Yeah, absolutely.

And even with me, I've never served in pastoral ministry. And in my role at GotQuestions, occasionally deal with some difficult people or difficult situations.

And sometimes just hearing a testimonial from someone who will tell me how big an impact

GotQuestions has had on them. Or even like a question of the week we send out, someone will write back and say, oh, this is exactly what

I needed to hear. It's little pieces like that that can really recharge my spiritual batteries to reinvigorate me for knowing, okay, despite the occasional difficult people or situations

I have to deal with, God is moving. God is working and seeing the impact. So this is true for you too.

That's equally true for me. And I'm sure most people in ministry, that the most encouraging thing in ministry is to know that your ministry is being fruitful, that God is using it, that God is impacting lives.

So often in Pastor Appreciation Month, people are looking for more,

I don't know, not more, tangible ways. And so what are some things that someone could say to a pastor or even a small gift that you think would be particularly encouraging?

Obviously, not all pastors are the same. Just as there's five different love languages, different pastors are going to be encouraged differently by different things.

But just generalities, what do you think are ways that people in congregations and churches could encourage and lift the spirits of their pastors?

Yeah, words of encouragement. I mentioned that first for me, I guess, because that's my love language, words of encouragement.

And it's just so uplifting to have a kind word, even if it's just, you know, pastor,

I'm praying for you and your family. So I know that they're praying, but then they let me know that they're praying.

You know, they encourage me in that way. And then they, you know, drop in a note, a written note, something, an email that they send, something like that is very encouraging.

Just affirmation, just, hey, I hear you. I understand what that message was about.

It was for me. And just keep up the good work, that kind of thing. You know, the attaboys, those are very encouraging to pastors.

There are so many, there's just a ton of ways that you can encourage your pastor, though, during Pastor Appreciation Month or anytime.

You can fix something for him, show up at his house with a toolbox and say, hey, what around here needs to be fixed?

You know, this handrail that's coming off, or maybe, you know, his car needs some work, you know, take some steps to get it worked on.

You know, he may not have the time, or he may not have the finances to be getting that done. And that would be a big encouragement.

Or in my case, the skills, yes. Yeah. Yeah, you use those skills that God has gifted you with to bless your pastor.

Take some responsibility from him. You notice that in your church, your pastor is doing a lot of different things.

He wears a lot of different hats. And maybe there are some little things that he wouldn't really have to be doing.

Somebody else could step up and take that responsibility from him. So maybe that someone is you.

Maybe you could go to your pastor and say, hey, I would like to handle this aspect of the ministry.

I would like to take this particular busy work or this job, and I will own it.

I will take responsibility for this, not just in October, but I want you to be relieved of this responsibility permanently.

You know, you don't have to worry about this anymore. We've got a couple in my church came to me a couple of years ago and said,

I noticed you're out there changing the sign every week, the church sign out front, putting all the new lettering out there.

We put a Bible verse out there every month. And they said, we'd like to do that for you. And I said, that would be great.

And they have been faithfully doing that ever since they volunteered to do it. They've just taken that on as their own responsibility.

What a blessing that is, because it saves me a bunch of time every month to sort out the letters and get them installed and all that kind of stuff.

And I praise the Lord for that blessing. A lot of little things like that that can be done around the church.

So just a practical idea. Yeah, I have to agree. There are so many different things you can do, and it really requires you to know your pastor, be involved in his life.

Does he have any hobbies that he enjoys? And maybe there's something there that you could gift him with.

You know, maybe he's a big sports fan and, you know, maybe tickets to a game or something like that would be something big or, you know, something that he needs.

You know, if he's a sports player again, if he needs a new baseball bat or whatever, things like that are always fun because it shows that you know them.

You know, it's not just about receiving some sort of gift or something like that. It reveals that, you know, their interests and you know that you value, that you want them to go out and do some recreational things.

That means a lot sometimes to a pastor to know that you are investing in them to take time off.

I think most pastors spend an incredible amount of time tending to their flock and the work that they're doing, and most people don't see that.

And when they get a note of encouragement or a gift that allows them to take time off, maybe to go take a weekend trip or, you know, even more than that, pay for vacation or something.

I mean, these are all kind of big things, but the small things too. Even for me, I have small children, and I've had someone come up to me and said, we'd like to babysit your children so you and your wife can spend some time together.

And that was a really great gift just to have them, you know, someone that we knew and that we trusted, and they decided to watch our kids for an evening for the sole purpose of, again, allowing me to spend time with my wife.

And that was a really nice gift to give. It was a gift of time to be together. And so there are a lot of things,

I think, like that, not just handing them cash, which is always nice, or a gift card, which is always nice, but giving them something that they can do in their time,

I think, has always been a valuable thing to me when I've received gifts like that. Yeah, if I could just add to that what

Nelson was saying there about the blessing of babysitting and also maybe sending your pastor and his wife out on a weekend away, a vacation maybe, maybe even a longer one.

The—when you do that for your pastor, if I could suggest that when you set up a weekend away or a vacation of some kind that you do think about the babysitting and you have that covered, you have the person who's going to be filling in for your pastor all lined up so he doesn't have to be worried about that, that you cover the travel expenses, the meal expenses, and make sure the entertainment is underwritten so that this gift, this wonderful gift of a vacation for your pastor and his wife does not turn into an extra expense for him.

I'm talking about all expenses covered when you do that kind of thing. That'll be a really big blessing for your pastor and his wife, that getaway and that time together.

For sure. When I talked to my pastor here in Colorado Springs, and one of the things he mentioned was that he would love more feedback on his sermons.

And he says the vast majority of time people just walk by and they'll say, oh, this is a great message, but like nothing concrete.

It's like nothing. I really liked this point. So he would really like feedback in the sense of,

I really like how you said this or this particular point was especially relevant to me rather than just that a boy, good job type of encouragement.

Well, I'm sure that's even, you'd rather receive that than nothing at all. But the more detailed you can be in your encouragement to your pastor, when you're talking about the sermon, even if it's just an email, it's like, hey,

I was really thinking about this and you covered in the sermon. And that was super meaningful for me. It's things like that, that when pastors spend a good chunk of their week preparing the sermon, practicing it and then delivering it, and then to never hear any feedback from it, that can be discouraging in itself.

Even if it was a great sermon and lots of people learn from it and begin applying it to their lives. But to just hear, like Kevin was saying, a word of encouragement of these specific things about the sermon were really meaningful for me.

That can be huge. And Kevin Nelson, is that something you would appreciate as well?

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, having detailed encouragement is always really important because it is sometimes,

I mean, I have to admit, like, you know, at the end of the sermon, some people just will just say, great sermon, because they feel like they have to say something, right?

Maybe you're the kind of pastor who waits at the door and people leave, or as people come up to you, they just kind of feel a sense of obligation.

To say, you know, and they could be completely genuine in saying it, but, you know, hey, the great sermon, you know, that's nice to know, and I appreciate that, and I want to hear that, and I'm sure most of the time it's very genuine.

But if they actually have a specific point that they mentioned during it, or if they mentioned even something like, I've been really struggling with this topic or that topic, and you've helped me in this way, or your sermon really encouraged me to want to talk to you.

Can we schedule something? And all of those types of things reaffirm the work that you're doing and show appreciation to the pastor of what he's doing, the time he's invested in all the people, because I assure you, as your pastor is writing his sermon, he's thinking about you.

He's thinking about the congregation. He's thinking about their needs. He's thinking about the general needs of the entire congregation, but then sometimes he's thinking about a specific person and how he feels the

Lord directing him to speak to that particular person. I mean, that happens once in a while, and so sometimes it's really encouraging to hear back and say, hey, the

Spirit really spoke to me today, and I really appreciate the words that you brought. Yeah, any kind of specifics with the words of encouragement is really meaningful.

I really liked this point that you made. I had never seen this before in Scripture. Be honest, but the detail really helps.

Some other ideas for honoring your pastor during Pastor's Appreciation Month might be to schedule a special service and plan on different people giving testimonies during that time.

Have the kids during Children's Church write up some notes of encouragement to present to your pastor during that special service.

Collect some photos and videos ahead of time for the past year or maybe for your pastor's whole tenure at your church, and then make a video presentation of that and show that during the special service.

Make a big deal about it. The more organized that you are as a church for Pastor's Appreciation Month, the more meaningful you can make it.

I mean, it's a great thing to say, hey, everybody, it's Pastor's Appreciation Month. Do something for your pastor this month.

That's wonderful, and that's a blessing, but just a little tip. If you really get organized, have somebody spearheading this event, then you can make it a very meaningful time, make it a very special time for your pastor and his family.

How about taking out a newspaper article, an ad in your local newspaper with your pastor's picture and just a bunch of messages there about how you love your pastor, and that serves two purposes.

It encourages your pastor when he opens up the newspaper and also advertises your church a little bit.

And maybe the newspaper route is not the way to go, but flood social media with messages of cheer for your pastor and promote your pastor, lift him up that way, whether it's through Facebook or Twitter or whatever social media you're using.

And then I can almost guarantee that your pastor has some books that he would like to read. He'd like to have them on his library shelf, but he hasn't been able to afford them.

Maybe a commentary set that your pastor really would like, can't afford it.

Those commentaries can be very expensive. Maybe something like that. Church could go together and purchase a gift like that for him, or maybe just a monetary gift was mentioned.

That's always encouraging. But maybe, I mean, if you do a little digging, you could find out possibly a debt that your pastor is trying to pay off.

A church could just say, hey, we're going to wipe out that debt. You don't have to worry about that anymore. You can focus on other things.

And what a blessing that would be. Just all kinds of different ideas for honoring your pastor and be creative and know your pastor and go from there.

So be a good thing. Excellent. Some things that I've even received, once I received a jar and it had at least 50 or more little notes of encouragement or Bible verses and just intended like once a week to take out one and just be encouraged to buy it throughout the year.

So that was pretty cool that someone spent a lot of time and wrote all those little notes on there throughout the year. Yeah, it was really nice to have that.

I found secret notes around. And what I mean by that is like kind of like a hidden note somewhere.

Like once I keep my sermons on my tablet and it's like a book tablet.

And one day I just opened my book tablet and there was a note laying inside from someone from the Congregation of Word and Recurrent. Hey, praying for you this morning.

I hope you do a great job or praying that the Lord will speak to you. A note of encouragement, whatever it was, but it was just there.

I must have stepped away from my tablet and they just snuck it right in. And that was an encouraging thing to do.

In the office, sometimes people might stop by during the week and I've received a card and a coffee and a muffin or something like that.

Like, hey, just want to get your breakfast this morning and share a card with you. And for me, as the congregation gets different cards,

I display them in my office. It's a nice reminder to have and to see these personal notes and cards that people have written sometimes from the

Sunday school classes or small groups or just individuals. They've done that.

And I've always really appreciate those notes that people just took some time to think about you and to specifically write an encouragement for you.

Because it can be a discouraging time. It can be very hard. Being a pastor is a difficult job.

I mean, I've had people who say, you know, what's the big deal about appreciating your pastor? We all have tough jobs and I don't get notes of encouragement.

And you know, what do you say to that to a person and say, well, here's a person who's watching over your soul. I mean, we're reminded in Hebrews chapter 13, verse 17, obey your leaders and submit to them for they are keeping watch over your souls as those who have to give an account.

Let them do this with joy and not with groaning for that would be of no advantage to you.

There's a tremendous responsibility to know that I will give an account for each and every individual.

I pastor each and every individual in the congregation and the work that I've done. That is a huge responsibility and it's a tremendous amount of pressure to do that.

And it's such a joyful work to do, but it is a very real responsibility to take watch over an entire congregation.

I'm sure many of you know what it's like to watch over your families and feel responsible just for your own family.

A pastor oftentimes feels the responsibility and is called out by scripture that he'll give an account to the Lord for his entire congregation, multiple families that he's watching over.

And that's a lot of work. And so showing appreciation, knowing that he's under that stress, has that workload on his shoulders that he's constantly thinking and praying for the entire congregation, all the families, not to mention trying to maintain his own family during all that.

These are some of the reasons why we appreciate our pastors. Excellent.

I love both the practicality of some of the things that you guys have brought up and also the why, helping people to understand.

That's powerful. But maybe let's close with this, because I know pastors' wives have a very important role in the ministry of the church, both in terms of their ministry with you and to you, but also to the congregation.

So maybe both of you just share something briefly about how, in addition to showing appreciation to pastors, what do you think most pastors' wives would appreciate, would be encouraged by, maybe something they don't hear enough of?

And Nelson, why don't you start us off, and then Kevin, you can go after that.

Sometimes the notes only go to the pastors of appreciation. And when a wife receives a note, it means something as well to her, and it's very special.

The congregation and people don't see the work behind the scenes, and a lot of that work is your pastor's wife encouraging him to go on.

It's a very difficult position to be in. It's a very hard position. There's a lot of responsibility.

We just talked about being accountable to God for the work that you're doing. And your pastor goes home oftentimes very discouraged, most likely, to his wife, and maybe he's had a tough day or a tough counseling session, and whatever it might be, and she knows that.

She senses that, and he brings that home with him sometimes. And so she supports him and encourages him, helps him get through the evening, reminds him why he's doing what he's doing in his call from the

Lord. And so she, like my wife, would do this all the time to encourage me and to remind me why

I'm doing this and why I'm going through these hard times. And she would remind me of the different instances of when the

Lord has responded during a difficult situation when I can't see through the storm at the moment.

And so your pastor's wife does a lot of work. She's your pastor's counselor oftentimes and confidant, and he leans on her, and she helps lift him up, and it's a wonderful relationship.

And so acknowledging her contribution to the ministry that your pastor does is a good thing and I think a necessary thing to say, hey, we know that you may be behind the scenes, but we know that your work is extremely important, and we thank you for helping our pastor and being the good wife that you are.

I mean, she would be very encouraged by a note of encouragement or a date night out with her husband, who's always so busy.

Things like that are tremendous gifts to her. Yes, I think it's very important to include the pastor's wives in the pastor's appreciation

Sunday or month, because like Nelson, you were saying, she is part of the ministry and the struggles that a pastor goes through, she routinely shares.

She helps to bear the burden, and she needs to be honored and encouraged as well as part of that ministry team.

I would say to really honor a pastor's wife and to encourage her during pastor's appreciation month.

Just provide those words of encouragement, but also just all year long, give her the freedom to be herself and find ways to relieve pressure from her.

A lot of times the pastor's wife in a church feels like she by default has to be the president of the ladies club or the ladies ministry group, and she has to be overseeing the children's ministry, or she has to be doing these various things.

I think that a church can go a long way to encouraging her by just saying, you don't have to do all of these things.

We are here, and we will help with whatever, but you don't have to be in charge of everything.

We're here to help to bear your burden as well. Just providing that relief from pressure and freedom to serve

God as she sees led to do and not be thrown into positions that she may not want or need to be doing.

Excellent. Both Kevin and Nelson, thank you for your insight both into how to encourage, how to show appreciation to a pastor, but also to your wives.

Vitally important, something we don't want to neglect, especially this month of Pastor Appreciation Month.

Every October, I encourage you to find meaningful, tangible ways to show encouragement to, as Nelson said, get to know your pastor so you can know what would be particularly encouraging to him, because not all pastors are the same.

Not all pastors will feel as appreciated by the same types of things. This has been the

Got Questions podcast on Pastor Appreciation Month. Got questions?