The Duty and Beauty of Wives: Part 1

The Duty and Beauty of Wives

What I'd like to do is cover the duty and the beauty of wives. I've named this section that because it deals with that. The duty and beauty of wives. I like what Brother Keith told me. Beauty and the beast.

That is so true. Our Scripture text is found in our wonderful study in 1 Peter chapter 3. And this is great. We made it to chapter 3. This is really coming to the heart of the book. There's only 5 chapters and we're over halfway.

And by God's help and grace. So 1 Peter chapter 3. Go with me there, please. And we're going to look at verse 1 to 7. I first put 1 to 6. But actually if you look at the text, it does go to 1 to 7 as a whole.

I was speaking submission in the home. And I want to include verse 7 as well because the husbands are included in this. As well as the wives. This is a very sensitive area, like I said. And I need your prayers for me as I preach this word this morning.

By the help and the power of the Spirit of God. I'm reading from the NASB. And hear the word of the living God. In the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands. So that even if any of them are disobedient to the word.

They may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. As they observe your chase and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external. Braiding of the hair and the wearing of gold jewelry.

Or putting on dresses. But let it be the hidden person of the heart. With the imperishable quality. That means beauty. Imperishable or incorruptible beauty. Of a gentle and a quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God.

For in this way in former times the holy women also. Who hoped in God used to adorn themselves. Being submissive to their own husbands. Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. And you have become her children if you do what is right.

Without being frightened by any fear. And he goes on to say. You husbands of the same way. Live with your wives in an understanding way. As with someone weaker. Since she is a woman. And show her honor.

As a fellow heir of grace of life. So that your prayers will not be hindered. May God richly bless the reading of his holy word to our hearts this morning. This is quite a text isn't it? This is quite wonderful.

This is great instructions to wives and husbands. In the faith of the Lord Jesus Christ. So now let's take this time just for a few minutes. Let's go to our Lord in prayer. As we seek his face. And as we study and worship him.

And ask his blessing upon us. Our Father and our God. Lord help us to reverence you. To respect you. Help us to submit to you oh God. In our hearts. Just not with our heads. Just not with our tongues.

Lord it's our hearts. We call upon you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. And we ask your help in this. Father most of all we thank you for your eternal holy word. That is forever settled in heaven.

Lord we cannot thank you enough for that word. Which you've given unto us. That wonderful revelation. Lord we don't need anything else. This word is sufficient for us. To live godly. In this evil world in which we live.

And Lord I pray that you would help us to hear your voice. The voice of the good shepherd. The voice of the great shepherd.

We thank you.

For Jesus.

Sanctifies oh Lord in thy word. Thy word is truth.

It cleanses us.

It washes us. It purifies us. Lord you're going to come back for a holy and a pure bride. May we be ready. May we be watching. May thy church be pure. Lord we ask you to give us ears to hear. Eyes to see.

A heart to be submissive. To your authority. And receive it. As the good word of the Lord. And that we may obey your word. And we ask this all for the glory. Of the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost. We ask this in Jesus name.

Amen.

Amen.

A wonderful.

As wonderful as marriage can be. It requires a lot of work doesn't it? It definitely requires. I've known this. As being married. For over 33 years. And I'm so thankful to have. Found favor in the Lord's eyes.

To having a godly wife. I'm thankful for that. But it takes.

A lot of love.

God's love.

To one another. In a way that honors God. And our spouse.

As well.

The end of 1 Peter. Chapter 2 challenged us. As we looked at last Lord's day. To respond. In a God honoring way. When we are treated.

Unfairly.

As believers. But the key word that the apostle Peter. Seems to be driving at. In this entire. Complete section. Is the word cement. We must underscore that. That's a very important word. If we don't understand this word.

Biblically.

Truthfully.

And if God does not drive this. One word home. And branded it within our hearts. We will not understand. What he is saying to us. As husbands. As Christians. As wives. Here within this text.

The word cement.

Obey. In the Greek term. Has military roots. And we looked at this. But I want to repeat it. It means to fall in rank. Under the authority of another. To fall in rank. It's a military word. To fall in rank.

Under the authority of another. To subject oneself. To the purpose of obeying. Or pleasing another. Is another definition. And the apostle Peter tells us. That such submission honors God. And advances his purposes.

In this world. In which we live. Now biblical submission. Properly understood. We must understand this. Because the world sees opposite. Biblical submission is not. A sign of weakness. Actually it's reverse.

It's a sign of great strength.

The world sees it.

Completely different.

As I was studying this. Personally in my time. I like to share this with you. In 1st Peter chapter 3. As I asked myself this question. Why does the apostle Peter. Seem to spend so much time. And that's interesting.

Let me say this.

Before I say what is advancing. I'm getting ahead of myself. He was an apostle. That was married. We find that he had a mother-in-law. In the gospel. So we know he was married. And Jesus healed her from a fever.

So he knows a lot about this. And the apostle Paul speaks of it. But he was not married. He was an unmarried apostle. But he speaks from the commandments of the Lord. But through the inspiration. Of the Holy Spirit.

As I was thinking on this. Why would the apostle Peter devote. Six entire verses. To instruct wives. And only one verse. That is given in verse 7. To instruct husbands.

That's a good question isn't it?

And I thought about that for a little bit.

And I said what's the purpose of this?

God's got to have a reason. And as I was meditating. And thinking about this. He says so much more. To the wives. And instructions here. Than to the husbands. And the conclusion that I came up with. Is a biblical one.

Now before I give you the answer. I believe is a biblical. Peter is not being a male. Chauvinistic pig. As some people would say. And I looked that word up. And it was interesting that it's a term that emerged.

Really in the late 1960's. In the late 1960's. During the sexual revolution. Among the feminists. That term male chauvinistic pig. Came. Into being. Things started really turning wrong.

For this nation. For this now.

We see the results of it among us. It's everywhere isn't it? And this message would not go over. Too well in this post modern culture would it? And hey. Would it go over very well in even most churches?

No it wouldn't.

But the reason I believe. Personally. And biblically. That so much attention. Is given to the instruction of wives. Is because the wife. Is a type of the believer.

Of Jesus Christ.

As the church. And I really believe. We're going to see that more. As the apostle Paul brings this out. In Ephesians chapter 5. The woman. The wife is to submit. Or subject herself under her head. Being her own husband.

As Jesus Christ is the head of the bride. Of the church. It's that plain and simple. So she submits to his authority. Now that doesn't go. Over too well. To even wives.

Only a true believer.

In Jesus Christ.

Can really take this from the heart. And submit to the heart. From the heart. Therefore it is of supreme importance. For the believers to follow this. God ordained order. And submit to Christ's authority.

You hear me say that quite often. Because that is really the root. That is the foundation. Of everything that Peter is saying here. That Paul says. It's all about submitting to the authority of Christ.

And I tell you. That is critical. That is absolutely foundational. To everything.

That we believe.

As believers.

Within the church.

So no matter how. Often we read this text. That you go through it. We come out the same.

Don't we?

We find this text is always focusing. On one phrase. Be submissive to your own husbands. Be submissive to your own husbands. The old King James version. Says be in subjection. To your own husbands. The Phillips version renders it.

Adapt yourself to your husbands.

The new English bible.

Says accept the authority. Of your husbands. And the ESV. Which is more of a recent translation.

Says.

The English standard version. Be subject to your own husbands. And all of them are interpreting. One word in the Greek. Which literally means. To stand under. To fall in rank under the authority of another.

And to take the position. Under the leadership of your husbands. That's what he's saying. Let me make this clear. Early in this message. In my introduction here. That this does not mean. A tyrant slave relationship.

I want to make that crystal clear. There is no tyrant slave relationship here. Holy scripture clearly. Indicates otherwise. Especially in the word to the husbands. As we will see more.

Lord willing next week.

But it does mean that the wife. Is willingly not reluctantly. To abide by the husbands final decisions. When it comes. To home manners. And in the family. In the home. Making those decisions. The late preacher Ray Stedman said this.

In an illustration. I really love his illustrations. He says this quote. The necessity of the wife to submit. Herself to the husbands authority. Has been blown up. To undue proportions. Dwelling on the aspect of it.

Is like disliking roses. Because they have thorns. That is a good illustration. And he goes on to say. They also are very beautiful. And have a delightful fragrance. Or perhaps more to the point. It is like that.

First dive into a cool water. On a hot summer day.

There is a moment of discomfort.

While the body is adjusting. To the temperature of the water. But then there is a glorious relaxation. And a refreshment.

Of the swim.

That is well said.

Amen.

Good illustration to give us. As we dive into this text. Especially to wives. So the first thing. Is that. The submissiveness here. Is absolutely necessary. Because. This is God's divine order. In scripture.

We see this in Genesis. That is God's word. This is the way God ordered it. It is His creative order. Sin has messed things up. That three letter word. Sin. Has really caused chaos. It is God's creative order.

That the man might be the man. We need this so often. So much in our day. It is the husband's responsibility. In marriage to exercise. And I want to say this. And this is a term I always use. Servant leadership.

Not the other way around. It is always servant first. Servant leadership.

This is exactly.

The way our Lord Jesus Christ. Walked among us. And showed and demonstrated. His servanthood. Even washing the disciples feet. But He was the master. Even the master. Would wash their feet. Even the master would set the example.

And He set us the ultimate example. For humility didn't He? Servant leadership. And someone has very precisely. And wisely pointed out. In a very simple way. Almost like brother Keith's illustration. About the young boy.

Showing up the professional fisherman. He knew what he was doing. And he really didn't know it. He wasn't bragging about it. He just did what he did. But one wise person said it like this. Speaking of.

Marriage. Between a husband and wife.

Quote.

When two people are on a horse. One has to get. To be behind. Let me say that again. When two people are on a horse. One has got to be behind. In other words. You can't have two leaders. You can't have two leaders.

And you can't have two followers. One has to be the leader. One has to be the follower.

Now.

In marriage.

One must follow. One must lead. That's what we're going to look at. My points of this. I'm going to bring out four points. Under a heading.

The heading is.

Submission in the home. Submission in the home. I would like for us to follow this. And I'm going to just break it up in two parts. Two of them will be today. Lord willing. And Lord willing. The other two will be next week.

The first is found in. Verse one and two. And my first point.

I'd like for us to look at.

Is the heart of a godly wife. The heart of a godly wife. Secondly.

We will look at.

Verse three and four. The true beauty of a godly woman. The true beauty of a godly woman. And last. And after we look at those. Two headings. We will look at some practical applications. In a very simplistic way.

But.

And to the meaning of the verses. In which we will look at. Next Lord's Day we will look at.

The third.

Third point will be some examples. Found in Holy Scripture. From the Old Testament of godly women. Holy women of old. Who trusted in God. And then. The fourth point will be verse seven. Will be the heart of a godly man.

We need to see the heart of a godly man. Don't we? A godly husband. And then we will look at application. As the Lord tarries for that. So let us begin today. And look at the text. Before us as we look into this study.

Submission in the home. Submission in the home. The beauty and the beauty of wives. We have it in the home. And this is exactly where Satan attacks. I think the hardest. His cross hairs are. Set right in the home.

Beloved.

And he always wants to get to the. The head of the home. To break up the home. And he does it a lot of times. Through the wives. So that is another reason. I believe the woman is the weaker vessel. And it is not to say.

You hear me say this. Wives. That you are not inferior.

Okay.

You are an heir of grace. To your husband. You have a very important part to play. In God's redemptive plan. So submission in the home. The heart of a godly wife. The heart of a godly wife. How does this look like?

Well let us hear what Peter says. Look at verse 1 and 2. In the same way or likewise. You wives be submissive to your own husbands. So that even if any of them. Are disobedient to the word.

Speaking of.

Unsaved husbands. They may be one. One without a word. By what? By preaching to them? By lecturing to them?

No.

By the behavior of their wives. And then he says in verse 2. As they observe your chaste. And respectful behavior. It is a loaded gun.

Isn't it?

That is a powerful verse. The godly wife will be submissive to her own husband. The submission isn't a reward for the husband. Because he has been good. She doesn't submit. Because one day he is good.

And then you are going to be bad. I am not going to submit. Rather it is the proper order of the home. That God commands it. That is the reason why. God commands submission. Now God has the ultimate authority here.

He is the creator. And the wives are to submit. To their own husbands. Rather it is the proper order.

Isn't it?

Now question. The very simple obvious question is. Why has God commanded it? Well first of all. The obvious answer is.

Because God is God.

God is the creator.

He is God.

And the second is. In his infinite wisdom.

He knows.

That this is the very best arrangement. For the home. I don't think anyone else would know better. Since he is the creator. He is the one that created. Male and female. And his own image.

And let me throw this.

I heard this years ago. Before the LGBTQ movement came out. God created Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Steve. That still stands.

But I am not going to go there.

I am going to focus on.

What people are saying. Now.

More about that later. That just shows you. That Satan has caused chaos. And has disrupted. The order. In which God has designed. And we can't blame it all on Satan. Even though he is the deceiver. And he has lured people in with the temptation.

It is our sin. Sin is the problem. That is the problem. And people are blinded to it. Well aren't you glad for the great revelation in scripture.

That God gives us.

That we can see this.

It is the word of God.

Now.

Submission or subjection does not mean. That the wife is inferior to the husband.

I just said that.

I am going to say that time and time again. Because the wives are not to be inferior. Actually 1 Peter 3 .7 says this. And I read it. But you husbands. Likewise. Or in the same way. Live with your wives in an understanding way.

As with someone weaker. Since she is a woman. Show her honor. As a fellow heir of the grace. Of life. So that your prayers. Will not be hindered.

Now.

Like I said ladies first. Men we are going to get it next week. But I am going to say a few things. In context.

Here.

Even though it is addressing the wives.

First.

And he says so much in six verses. But there is a great. Important part. That the husband plays. As well. In the role of marriage. Don't we all need this? I need to hear this. Submission has to do with order.

Not evaluation. For example. Let me give you an example here. Slaves in the average Roman household. In the New Testament time. Were superior in many ways. To their masters. But they still had. To be under the authority.

Of their masters. In other words. That is the way it was. Another more modern. Illustration. A little buck private. In the army may be a better person. Than the five star general that is leading. He may be.

But.

He is still a buck private. He is still under the authority. Of that five star general.

That is the way it is.

Now it makes me think about Jesus here. Jesus actually. Was God in the flesh. God in the flesh. Became a bond servant. He chose to do this. In his humility. He submitted to the will of God. Actually the verse I am thinking of.

Is Philippians chapter two. Verse five through eight. You can go with me there if you like. It is a great text isn't it? Philippians chapter two. Verse five through eight. The apostle Paul says. Have this attitude in yourselves.

There is the attitude. What is the attitude? The humility of Christ. Then he says. Which was also in Christ Jesus. Who although he existed in the form of God. He did not regard equality with God. A thing to be grasped.

But emptied himself. Oh my. That is the great kenosis. He emptied himself. Taking the form. Of a bond slave. A bond slave. And being made in the likeness of men. Being found in the appearance as a man.

He humbled himself. By becoming obedient. That word obedient can be submissive. Submissive to the point of death. Even the death on the cross. The kenosis. The great doctrine of Christ. Is self emptying in his incarnation.

Taking the form of a bond servant. A bond servant.

But what did Jesus do?

He submitted himself to the father's will. He submitted to go into the cross. This was a command that the father gave. He lovingly. Willingly sacrificed himself. And submitted himself. To the point. As being like a bond slave.

God in the flesh. God in the flesh. What an example. At submitting himself to the father's will. There is nothing degrading.

There is nothing degrading.

About submitting to authority.

Is there?

Jesus set that example.

Or even accepting God's order. For that way of thinking. If anything it is. It's the first step toward fulfillment. Why is this foreign to us?

Because.

Submissive. Is a dirty word. In our culture. It's because of the sin in people's hearts. Do not want to hear this. Just as holiness is foreign. To sinners. This is just as foreign.

But we need to hear it.

Well it's the first step toward fulfillment. Notice the first words. In the same way. Likewise. That means proper submission in the home. Follows the same principles. Submission is towards the government.

Toward our employers. There is a pattern in which Peter gives. And that's submission under authority. That's what he's talking about. It is the submission not only of actions. But of the heart. That demonstrates.

To us. What Peter is really talking about. And it is demonstrated by the Lord Jesus Christ. We looked at that last Lord's Day. In 1 Peter 2. Verse 21 -25. So Jesus set us the example. Now we have a call for submission.

And that call for submission. Is not merely a call. For just love. And considerate action. It's a call. To take the place of submission.

Now.

In order to take the place of submission. That is a humbling act.

Isn't it?

And that's what hits our pride. And I really believe this. That pride is. The one sin.

That keeps us.

And draws us back from submission.

It is.

That's why. It speaks in Philippians. That's why I read that. It's the humility of Jesus. And He submitted to the Father's will.

People say yeah.

But He was God in the flesh. Well yes He was. But He was also the God man. And all that He did. He did as a man. Full of the Holy Spirit. And He set that example. Now the word literally again. It means falling in the rank to authority.

Literally meaning to order under. Yet submission to authority can be totally consistent. With equality. And importance. This is hard for us to understand. But it can be consistent with equality. And importance.

And dignity and honor. And this is where Peter goes. Peter goes in this direction. Again Jesus. When He was a child. Growing up. He was in subjection or submission under His parents authority. Wasn't He?

And most important He was in subjection. And under submission to God the Father. But He also demonstrated this. As a child. Being under the submission of His parents. Commentator Wayne Grudem.

Said this.

Thus the command to wives. To be subject to their own husbands. Should never be taken. To imply inferior personhood. Or spirituality. Or lesser importance.

End quote.

Now of course submission in marriage. Follows the same principles as submission in other spheres. As I mentioned. God's appointed authority. Is that our obligation before God. It's a command of God. Unless that authority directs us to sin.

We looked at that didn't we? If that authority. In government. Under government authorities directs us to sin. And go against the word of God. We are to say no. In that case it is right and better to obey God.

Rather than men. We looked at examples of that through scripture. Acts chapter 4. We went to Daniel. We went to other examples. We know where we stand there.

So.

In the same way Peter says. Likewise wives be submissive to your own husbands. Again. Women are not inferior to men in any way. So in marriage. The holy matrimony. Two people becoming one.

Mingled together.

Isn't that a great miracle. That God does in marriage. They become one. Under the covenant of God. That God established. That God is the one that created marriage. Go with me to Ephesians chapter 5. And this is a very important.

Passage of scripture. I believe for us. Ephesians 5. Now Paul the apostle here. Isn't it wonderful. He is a single apostle. And you got Peter the apostle. Almost saying. Somewhat the same thing in a different way.

But still the Holy Spirit.

The same Holy Spirit that directs them. To say these words. Notice what the apostle Paul says. In verse 21. He sets the foundation. Of the. Our submission as believers. Under the authority of Jesus Christ.

In verse 21. He says this. And be subject. To one another. In the fear of Christ. That's the foundation. Verse 22. Wives. There is a reason for this. This is God the Holy Spirit. That directed the apostle Peter.

The same way. Paul says wives. Be subject to your own.

Husbands.

The word own is important. Peter says the same thing. It means not to other men. This is your own husband. Him alone. As to the Lord. As to the Lord.

For the husband.

Is the head of the wife. As Christ also is the head of the church. He himself being the savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ. So also the wives ought to be. To their husbands. Husbands in everything.

It's powerful words.

Husbands.

Are not left out.

Look at verse 25.

Husbands.

Love your wives. Just as Christ also loved the church. And gave himself up for her. That's a strong love. That's convicting to me as a husband. Because that's the kind of love. I should show to my wife.

The kind of love that Jesus showed. His people. His bride. So that he might sanctify her. There's the purpose. He sanctifies her. Having cleansed her. He cleansed her. By the washing of the water.

With the word.

That he might present to himself. The church in all her glory. Having no spot or wrinkle. Or any such thing.

But that she would be holy.

And blameless.

That's the purpose.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives. Their own wives. As their own bodies. And he who loves his own wife. Loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh. But nourishes it. And cherishes it.

Just as Christ also does the church. Because we are members of his body. And then he gives us a scripture. From Genesis. For this reason. A man shall leave his father and mother. And shall be joined to his wife.

And the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great. But I'm speaking with reference to church. To Christ and the church. Nevertheless. Each individual among you. Also is to love his own wife. Even as himself.

And the wife must see to it. That she respects her husband. Strong words isn't it? Powerful. High.

Words.

Jesus desires a pure bride. And that's the way it is. As us husbands. Is to love our wives. We are not to lead her into anything sinful.

We are to.

Lead her to purity. To lead her to purity. To lead her to holiness. And that is loving purity.

Love does that.

Why? To cleanse her. To have her cleansed. That's what Jesus is coming after. Is a cleansed. A holy bride. And here is that mystery. See within the covenant. Holy matrimony. Between a husband and a wife.

The joining of the two. Become one. That's the way it is with Jesus Christ. And the believer. Isn't that glorious?

It's glorious.

It's glorious.

But he speaks about. The purpose there. Now let me head on. I wish I could stay there and preach right there on that text. That's another time. But let's go back to Peter. Now Peter is speaking very much about.

What Paul is saying there. So Peter carefully observed. That wives are called to submit to their own husbands. Right? And not to all men. To their own husbands.

I love that.

To their own husbands. Your own wives. Husbands is to love their own wives. One woman. One man. One woman. Get it right. Peter goes on to say. So that even if any of them are disobedient. Speaking about the unsaved husband.

This is a tough one. Because there are some women. That marry unsaved men. Back in this time period.

It was very.

Rampant. And it was very. Well known in that time period. Then he says. They may be one without a word. Without a word. By the behavior of their wives. How can this happen? Well look at this. The opportunity is great.

Isn't it?

Here is an opportunity for a godly wife. It's a benefit of submission. That is shown in the way. That it affects the husbands for God. Now I want to pause here to say. Sometimes. In some cases. It doesn't always go this way.