SUNDAY SCHOOL: Forgive Us Our Debts

The Lord’s Prayer and the Structure of Petition

Thank you for subscribing to the Shepherds Church podcast, this is our Lord's Day Sermon. We pray that as we declare the Word of God that you would be encouraged Strengthened in your faith and that you would catch a greater vision of who Christ is.

May you be blessed in the hearing of God's Word and may the Lord be with you. On someone with what we think is most important without acknowledging them or asking them about themselves. We will find that we don't talk with them very much because they will become burdened by our selfishness.

So the Lord structures the prayer in that way. We've also Seen that just like the Ten Commandments begins with with the first four in the first table of the law Which is all about God and then the next six which are the second table of all are all about our relationship with others.

We've seen that the prayer itself models that kind of structure. Now today we're going to be talking about our debts our transgressions our iniquities. Confessing our sins to God. So we've now moved into the petition section of the prayer and I think as we begin maybe an analogy would be that we need to recognize that there's a kind of poverty That is deeper than our bank accounts.

There is a kind of soul deep Insolvency that every human inherits in our flesh. We are born spiritually bankrupt. We accrued debt with every breath. We're utterly Incapable of repayment. That's why Jesus taught his disciples to pray.

Forgive us of our debts. Not if we sin. But when we sin. Not make us better. But pardon us. This prayer is not sentimental it's surgical. Jesus puts divine grace on our lips and then demands that we reflect it forgive us as we forgive which is such a powerful phrase.

This is the miracle of mercy. Where the forgiven become the forgivers and grace flows from the cross into our lives and then out to the world. We don't study this prayer as detached scholars. But as desperate sinners who are in need of forgiveness and who are also in great need of being forgiving people.

What are debts? Well the Greek word aphelimata refers to moral and spiritual debts the kind that we owe to a holy God. These debts are accumulated failures where we have fallen short of perfect obedience and love to the law of God.

Every sin is a line item in the book of divine justice Romans 3 23. Romans 6 23 and the wages are death. Calvin says that we owe a righteousness That we cannot pay. Not only a debt That has been given like the servant Matthew 18 who owed 10 ,000 talents.

We are buried in our guilt. We're not people who occasionally stumble. We are bankrupt beggars. Who are pleading at the throne of grace that God would overlook our? insurmountable offenses. Now that's our debt.

Forgiveness as Release, Sacrifice, and the Finished Work of Christ

What does it mean for us to be forgiven? Well, the word used here is a fee a my meaning to release to cancel to send away. So what we are doing is we are asking God to release this insurmountable debt that we have accumulated.

It would be like America asking the countries who have our debt to just forgive us to just release it. Why. Because we asked. This is not asking God to act as though he has some sort of divine amnesia.

It has to be inherently sacrificial. Because God isn't just gonna wipe the books clean. He's not like a Like a bookie who moves money around fallaciously. Our sins can't be shrugged off if God is just.

They have to be sacrificed paid for they have to be nailed to the cross Colossians 2 13 through 14. Forgiveness cost us nothing but it costs Christ everything. When Jesus said it is finished to tell us die He is saying that the debt is paid from this point and forevermore.

The verb if you If you've ever heard this before is a very fascinating verb to tell us die it is finished. It actually in English would better be better translated. It has been finished what what it is is it's a perfect verb and what a perfect verb is is that it means that it has a Definite point in the past Where it was done, but it also has an iterative and ongoing future Fulfillment where it is being fulfilled constantly.

So it's not just a point in time like A past tense verb. It's a point in time and then it's over a perfect tense verb is a point in time that moves on forever. So when Jesus says it is finished he meant It is forever.

Finished.

Now we see in our forgiveness that the Lord is compassionate grace gracious slow to anger. Exodus 34 6. He's rich in mercy Ephesians 2 4 and yet his mercy never violates his justice. Because at the cross justice and mercy kiss God remained just while justifying the sinner.

Romans 3 26, he didn't ignore our sin. He paid for our sin as Psalm 130 declares. There is forgiveness with you that you may be feared. Love that. Forgiveness doesn't fuel flippancy. Forgiveness fuels reverence.

Forgiveness doesn't breed leniency it breeds a View towards the bloody love of God where he gave everything for his people. Now with that forgiveness is central to this prayer verse. John 1 9 says if we confess our sins He's faithful and just to forgive us of our sins his pardon flows from his very nature and it is and it is for us.

God has commanded us to ask for us to request for us to petition that our We would be forgiven. But our unforgiveness is also connected to this because Jesus warns whenever you stand praying and You don't forgive.

Then how can you expect that God would forgive you? Mark 11 25. In this way bitterness blocks our communion with God. In This sense we cannot pray to a merciful God while being merciless ourselves. That is why reformed worship includes regular Confession of sin and assurance of pardon because we approach God not with presumption but with repentance.

Not in self-confidence, but in the confidence we have in Christ to come boldly to the throne of grace. We come stained and we leave joyfully clean on the basis of Jesus. Not anything that we have done not because we're so righteous in our liturgy.

Forgiving Others as Evidence of Receiving Mercy

Now the logic of Jesus's words here doesn't just teach us about how to seek forgiveness. He commands us to extend it to others. That's so important in this passage forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.

So as we are asking the Lord to forgive us of our sin It must be the next breath on our lips to ask that we would forgive those who sinned against us. We don't earn forgiveness by forgiving but we prove that we've received it by forgiving.

Our forgiveness is not the root of God's mercy. But it is the fruit of God's mercy. As Calvin said no one can presume to ask Forgiveness while he himself is harboring resentment. And then in this way Jesus will not allow us to hoard our graces.

To receive mercy but to deny it to deny it to others is hypocrisy that leads unto damnation. This is why he follows By saying if you do not forgive others, then your father will not forgive you. Matthew 6 15.

That's not a contradiction of grace. It's confirmation of it because forgiven people forgive and evidence of the fact that you've been forgiven. Is that you forgive. If we don't forgive we show that we were never forgive then.

Does that make sense, I love the parable of the unforgiving servant because it's so clear on this point. It says in the passage those servants. Matthew 18 21 through 35. It's very interesting. It's right before Jesus comes to the city Who showed no mercy so that's in the background as well.

In that passage a servant is forgiven 10 ,000 talents which in modern-day value is somewhere in the billions. And then he chokes his fellow servant over a couple of hundred hundred denarii. Which is pocket change.

When the king finds out he's furious and he says you wicked slave should you not also have had mercy this would be like forgiving someone the debt of Elon Musk's entire net worth and then Refusing to forgive someone who owed you a cup of coffee by being forgiven so much.

How could that slave be so forgiveness? Jesus says this is how his father will treat those who don't forgive others. That he will throw them into the place where there's weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Because it's spiritual treason. It's the spit in the face of God. It's to look at him and to say yeah. I know you've forgiven me so much but That person really annoys me. Forgiveness is hard but refusing to forgive is hellish.

How Christians Should Forgive, Repent, and Keep Short Accounts

Now the question is how should we forgive. Forgiveness is not emotional amnesia. It's not just forgetting that someone's hurt you. It's it's not just ignoring the pain or being ignorant to it. It's but it is willful.

It is covenantal. Jesus does say that we must forgive from the heart. Matthew 1835. We must forgive sincerely without pretense. It's not pretending that the pain didn't happen, but it is declaring that we will release the debt.

Forgiveness is saying this I am NOT going to be the judge jury or execute executioner in this matter. I'm gonna give it over to God. Now in that sense forgiveness doesn't require reconciliation that is something that that we often get confused about to forgive someone doesn't Necessarily mean that reconciliation is going to happen.

Forgiveness is I release the right. To be the judge in this matter and I give it over to God that's forgiveness as you forgive someone. They may not. Either forgive you or they may not reconcile with you and this is hard because We tend to be quid pro quo kind of people.

When we forgive someone who's hurt us when we forgive someone who's done something awful to us. We expect that it's gonna lead to a positive result. It is very difficult When you forgive someone and they still spit in your face.

It's one of the hardest things that you can do. Because we want in our heart to believe. That if we are selfless, they will be too and it doesn't always happen. Your job is not their job. Your job is to release the debt that they owe you and to trust God with the results.

That's your job. You can't control the outcome. You can't control them. You can't control whether or not they're gonna be repentant or not. You just can't. You can pray for them you can be kind to them, but you can't make them repent.

Douglas Wilson notes that forgiveness is a transaction. If the person repents then you seal it in Reconciliation. If not, you still let go of the bitterness. Because the bitterness is what will actually kill you.

It's funny about forgiveness when you release the debt that someone owes you it heals you. Oftentimes people actually They take up space in our head more than they actually care about the situation. So when we release the debt, we actually release the power that they have over us.

Because they're not thinking about it probably. Why should we forgive because God forgave us? Ephesians 4 2 says just as Christ in Christ. You are also forgiven. You should forgive can't cling to the cross and a grudge.

Number two, the reason we should forgive because we imitate our father when we forgive be merciful just as your father is merciful. Luke 636. When we forgive others we declare I belong to God. Number three, why do we forgive.

Because bitterness destroys us. Hebrews 12 15 says see to it. No root of bitterness springs up in you. If you don't forgive you are guaranteeing that a root of bitterness will grow up in you and choke you out.

Number four, why do we forgive because prayer our prayer is hindered? Mark 11 25 says whenever you stand praying forgive Jesus even talks about it like your prayers bounce off the ceiling. Or like ricochet off the clouds.

They don't make it when you're harboring bitterness.

Biblical Examples of Forgiveness, Boundaries, and Releasing Bitterness

An.

Example of this in Scripture would be Joseph. At the end of his life. He said what you meant for evil God meant for good. He forgave he didn't forget. You know, he didn't forget because of the way the whole thing went down.

Where he made them keep Benjamin back with him and they made them go back to get Jacob and all he didn't forget. But he did release the debt. You can see that this is true of Stephen as the stones are flying and hitting him in the face.

He said father forgive them. They're not what they do act 760 you think about. Modern-day examples like Corrie ten boom forgave the Nazi guard. She said forgiveness is not an emotion. The will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.

That was a quote from her. Forgiveness Glorifies God and brings life to us. It releases the root of bitterness. It releases the power that someone has over us and it frees us in So many ways. I think this is why Jesus tells us not only to ask for our forgiveness.

But he couples it with as you are forgiving others it's so important the word as means as. So as you were asking for forgiveness. Be extending forgiveness. Don't ever separate those two they go together.

They're a couplet now with that. What questions do you have About this about this passage. I think it's pretty straightforward. But I want us to keep in mind here that there's categories. We approach God for who he is his father.

Then we approach God for what he's doing in the world his mission unto the ends of the earth then. We ask God for our needs that we have our needs. For what? To bring his kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.

Then we confess our sin and also extend forgiveness that there's a pattern here that as we pray we should be implementing it. So what questions do you have? Yes, sir. Yeah, so my general rule is the the level of Public versus private should should be consistent when it comes to the forgiveness.

So if someone slanders me publicly. Or let's let's say okay, I'll put it in the in my court, let's say I slander someone publicly. I should have public. I should apologize publicly if I send against someone in private.

I think I should apologize to them in private.

Hmm.

So if there's an offense that happens to the person I think yes, so for instance, let's say a man lust while he's out in public and The woman who he is lusting after has no idea. I think it would be very strange if he walked up to her and Apologized for what he did because there was no offense on her part it was it was literally a vertical sin between him and God and She was just what he she was the medium by which he sent against God.

So I think it would be strange in that moment if.

However.

The the man lusting is There is an offense that happens where she is made aware of it or then then there could be some apology. It depends on if the person being sent against is actually harmed or Aggrieved.

If not confess the sin of the Lord if so, then also In addition to confessing to the Lord confess to the person and in a way that's consistent with how they were grieved. Yeah.

Then do I go up to him and say I forgive you for sitting against me or do I just forgive you in my heart.

So if.

Yeah, I Can. I'll answer for me and then I'll open it up for others as well. If there's if there's harm done to me and that person's not a believer I'll still go up and have a conversation with them and say hey.

Because I like to keep short accounts. Hey what you did this is how it frustrated me this is how I felt like that it was inconsiderate or whatever else and I'm not gonna hold it over you. I am I'm forgiving you.

But I wanted to bring it to you because me just letting it fester in my heart wasn't good. So I can I can do it like that or I can say I can even add the gospel on top of that. They might be offended.

But I do think it's important as. Especially as men who love the Lord to keep short accounts with those people who offended us so that we don't carry Grievances because our heart is so easy to carry those things.

I do think releasing them is important. Yeah, I think so I think I think it's helpful. Yes, sir.

The Yeah.

Right. That's the posture prayer it. We don't come to our equal and. And we don't we certainly don't come to our inferior. We we come in a very specific relationship where we where we are infinitely inferior to this superior and glorious God.

So humility reverence, but also joy. All those things are appropriate. Nikki do you have a question?

Yeah I.

Think so and I think this could be an area where the world blindly has like broken clock is right. You know twice a day sort of thing. I do think that this comes straight out of the New Testament. So they're they're they're not quoting their own wisdom here.

So I do think that like for instance you said someone who's died like say a parent who's died and You can't actually reconcile with them if forgiveness was contingent upon the reconciliation. You couldn't actually have You can't actually forgive them right, so.

Or the person who's unwilling to to reconcile with you. You couldn't actually Experience forgiveness, but I I I do think that the Bible differentiates forgiveness and reconciliation for that reason I think the goal of all forgiveness should lead to reconciliation, but should autos.

All those sometimes because the situations don't always happen. Yeah. Yes, ma 'am. This is a believer and unbeliever.

Okay, I do think I do think as uncomfortable as it is. We we this this is me. I think we do have a duty to to forgive and to and to even have those conversations like when Jesus says if a If a brother or sister sins against you go and tell it to them.

I think that I don't think that's a Suggestion and I don't think that there's loopholes out of it, even though I know there are situations where it's uncomfortable for instance like Zacchaeus Zacchaeus chief tax collector and has defrauded many people in his career.

His initial instinct was I'm gonna go pay back everybody. I've defrauded and this could be over years. Four times what what. I've defrauded them and Jesus says salvation has come to this house today. So I think there's a positive example in that of even if it's awkward That that I think the Lord would would would say that that's you know Right.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, right, yeah.

It's that weird sort of moment I was talking about with Adam. If you can be between you and the Lord. Laura if your conscience is clean and you have forgiven them Then you know, maybe it's not necessary to you know, ruffle the feathers as it were.

But I'm often skeptical of myself at how well I actually can release Burdens and not carry them even like in my subconscious. So I'm I'm very skeptical of myself in that way and I I just kind of as a rule just yeah I'm gonna make it awkward.

I don't care. Just I know how bad I am. Yes, sir.

Or.

Yeah.

Yeah Peter when he was trying to be Like impressive to Jesus. He was trying to really show Jesus how pious he was. He said how many times should we forgive 70 times 7? Like he's coming up with like a ridiculous number or not.

How many times should we forgive and Jesus says 70 times 7? So Jesus is actually the one using the hyperbole there to say continually. I do also think though that there's wisdom in Protecting yourself from people who habitually sin against you without remorse.

So for instance. There Was a season of mine and Shannon's marriage. Where the most honoring thing that I could do for my mom and dad was to protect? Shannon and I from my mom and dad I wasn't disrespectful about it.

But they were sinning in a particular way. That was it was especially painful. There was no forgiveness. No remorse nothing and it was causing damage in our family and I don't believe that the Lord With with the concept of being for a forgiving person I don't think the Lord wants us necessarily to lay ourself out as a living sacrifice in a doormat.

For someone to continually stomp on us. I think sometimes that there is wisdom where you can remove yourself from a person or from a relationship that that's toxic. Not because you if you stay in it, you can't forgive them.

You can continue to forgive them over and over and over again. But I do think that I don't think it's wrong also to put boundaries and protections up so that. So that you're not getting continually sinned against also.

Yes.

Right.

I.

Think what Derek's highlighting is such a good point. Ethical situations are sometimes pretty complex. Because there's the there's the law. There's the command. There's the there's the explicit verse.

And then there's the really messy situation that that sometimes Like Proverbs says there's wisdom in many counselors. Sometimes in a particular situation where you're in the middle of it. It's a really good idea to go talk with others and to get godly counsel not just from people who are gonna tell you what you want to hear and not just from people who have a an underdeveloped or non developed Christian worldview.

But from mature men or mature women get counsel because sometimes these situations are difficult. The situation with my parents was really difficult because I'm trying to hold intention the love my wife like Christ loves the church and also honor my parents and.

And it was that was probably one of the hardest things I walked through and it was about three years of of separation in that relationship.

What's about if someone continues to sit against you more about like holding on to the bitterness of one sin. That that happened to you you forgave them. And then in your heart you sort of dwell on that on that bitterness.

Oh, you bring it back up not that they continue to sin against you. But like it's really greedy and you forgive them to their face and you say you say in your heart I'm going to forgive this person. But then you know when we you're thinking back and you draw the bitterness back up.

It's like is it then wise to say I'm going to re-forgive them in my own heart. And like make a make a point to do that. Or do you just sort of settle on. Oh, I've forgiven them once. And that was good enough.

I think that was more of the question. I might be wrong.

If not, it's a good question.

Yeah, that's how I read it. I don't know what.

Yeah, that seems to me. I mean both were helpful. Yeah, it is that. Like after some time has been by. You know, it is You know, forgiving for 7 times 7 is 57. Does that literally mean like Is it just Forgiving after Like fully again.

Making sure you think about that. I'm once again angry.

I want to give.

To whoever.

Of this.

I don't want to blow on this anymore I think. It's more than both. I'm sure that I've forgiven them.

I mean.

I'm sure there's.

One or two. So.

As somebody who goes through this.

Yeah.

You have to forgive me. Because this will come up. Whatever that will mean is going to go away.

And so.

It needs to be a conscious thing When you are dealing with Whatever it is You have to remember that you forgave them And it's not that You're forgiving them again But you're confessing To them.

And I think it's.

Just a continuous thing. Not like Every day. But it will come up.

Right.

I think it's also important That if it's new offenses Then it requires A new Moment of conversation. And forgiveness. If it's an especially a grievance offense That just continues to plague you I think That in our forgiveness We share the story of the gospel.

We share the story of Christ Forgiving us Even when we weren't worthy. So if I'm giving a hypothetical here But if someone does something So grievous to me That I've forgiven them personally But I'm not yet fully Recovered from the pain of it And it keeps coming back up.

I don't go back to that person And re-forgive them again. I don't go back to that person And re-engage them on that sin again. Because the problem at that point Is that I need repentance. In my repentance I need help with my forgiveness.

And that's between me and the Lord. But I don't want to go back And re-address the same sin. Over and over and over again. Because Christ doesn't do that with me.

Right.

So you have. If you've spoken. That I have forgiven.

Your feelings.

You want to move on. You want to move on from the offense. Then those thoughts can be committed To what you are. If God has said that about you And you. You move on. It's a It's an oversight of our own.

Emotions.

To be able to move on from one To the other Something that's already been decided. When you spoke to me I think that You know, the emotions That come with being wrong. We should learn from That if something was particularly harmful Even though we forgave the person for it.

If it's particularly harmful to the point where it caused me To struggle with my emotions Towards that person Then I think that's where Living is better. Maybe don't put yourself in a position To go back to that person.

So maybe it's avoiding Depending on what was done. It's avoiding Avoiding the possibility.

That happens.

Forgiveness in itself Is not feeling that we feel for someone. I don't feel like I've forgiven someone. It's a declaration.

That we've made.

About a certain situation At that point It takes a close.

Yeah, and we continue. As you said, we mortify our feelings. So that they're consistent with the declaration.

It's the best of our ability. At the same time Sometimes the feelings are such that It just wouldn't make sense.

To.

You know, sometimes you can't move on from the emotional pain Of it, right? So that's, you know, the hardest thing. Before seeing the example of that. That we can do. So I think it's knowing In those situations What we can do.

Yeah, and I think I think we all have incredible memory recalls.

In some sense.

Yeah, we do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Isn't it funny? I said, isn't it funny?

We remember other people's sins more passionately than ours.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But we have to determine That we're going to keep fighting this Until I don't want to do this every day For some purpose But I think eventually we can be better than that As we keep working at it Dying to self Rejecting the lies we've been told And doing certain things.

I think I do. But sometimes it's harder than others.

It's harder than that.

Because it makes it Like I'm really hurt by this. You know, I forgive myself. But am I really going to be faithful. Maybe not. You know. More holistically than.

It's not.

It's not always. Yeah.

Yeah.

The word in 1 Peter Where it says to cast your anxieties on him Because he cares for you Is a present active indicative Greek verb which means Cast and cast and cast and cast and cast And cast and cast and cast And cast your anxieties on him.

So it's like whack-a-mole. When they show up, you whack them. You know, and if you fight it For the rest of your life and you die fighting it. Well praise God I think that glorifies him.

Yeah.

I do think that the responsibility To forgive Goes up With the more light a person has. I think Paul even says I'm not talking about the pagans When it comes to this. They're going to be who they are and do what they do.

But yeah, with a believer I think they're absolutely. That's why there's so much language in the Bible Of how we treat our brother. We'll deal with one of those today In Proverbs. But yeah, the responsibility goes up As you're in communion with someone Who's in the covenant As opposed to someone who's outside of it.

And it gets complicated When someone who says they're A Christian And they're not That's a weird situation. But wisdom, right? What were you going to say?

Would you say there's also an example That the Lord has set for us That he doesn't just forgive us of our sins But he also gives us the glorious inheritance.

In that.

Even when we find it difficult To pray for somebody To be able to forgive somebody. That you actually then start to actively pray For the Lord to bless them. And that can really help us work through The bitterness That we hold on to.

Because that's been very helpful for me. If you only pray about, oh Lord I forgive them Letting go of the wrongs that they've done to you That's all you're thinking about. But then if you turn to As the Lord does I want this person to be blessed.

I want to pray for their flourish. And when you turn to that Your heart can change towards that person.

Who wronged you.

I think that's been super helpful.

The triage Of the Bible is Love the Lord your God With all your heart, soul, mind, and strength So your first affection is unto God Your second affection is unto others And if you have time left then you can think about yourself And what you just said You're doing just that You're loving your neighbor in the same way you would love yourself.

Lord bless them. It really does heal your heart. Yes ma 'am. And I also think Niki that God His Like God is Obviously infinite in His emotions And His being So He can express His wrath And His joy Simultaneously in a way that we can't understand But I do think That the Father who looks at a child.

Who.

Is struggling with a particular Sin, repenting of it Fighting it, falling down, getting up. I think the Father looks at that And is pleased by.

The.

Activity of actually trying To continually submit it and mortify it As opposed to someone who Doesn't struggle With that sin but is just sort of apathetic About it and not trusting in the Lord I think the Lord is pleased by our effort.

So if it's Hard for you to forgive someone Who's hurt you As you continue to Crucify that thought Confess that thought, give it to the Lord. I think the Lord's pleased even in the process. Even if you're not successful at it Or perfectly successful at it I think He's pleased that you're trusting Him with it And coming.

The Father’s Pleasure in Ongoing Repentance

Yeah.

Therefore.

After talking about how much Paul The Apostle was in And he knows better It's the struggle between what he wants to do The whole thing. And then he finishes by saying Therefore, there is no condemnation Therefore, because of your struggle You can know And the Apostle Paul himself, even despite his struggle.

Knows.

Now there is no condemnation The Father is pleased Not because of your own righteousness But obviously because of mine.

Amen.

Yeah.

Amen. Amen. Yeah, we did good. The discussion's great, I love it. I'd rather have the discussion than Me just blather on. Can we close together With the Lord's prayer. Our Father, who art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy kingdom come, thy will be done On earth as it is in heaven.