SUNDAY SCHOOL: Forgive Us Our Debts

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What does it mean to forgive? How does forgiving others relate to being forgiven? And, what is the extent that we are to forgive? All of this and more we will be talking about in today's Sunday School Episode.

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Thank you for subscribing to the Shepherds Church podcast, this is our Lord's Day Sermon We pray that as we declare the
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Word of God that you would be encouraged Strengthened in your faith and that you would catch a greater vision of who
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Christ is May you be blessed in the hearing of God's Word and may the Lord be with you
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On someone with what we think is most important without acknowledging them or asking them about themselves
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We will find that we don't talk with them very much because they will become burdened by our selfishness
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So the Lord structures the prayer in that way. We've also Seen that just like the
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Ten Commandments begins with with the first four in the first table of the law Which is all about God and then the next six which are the second table of all are all about our relationship with others
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We've seen that the prayer itself models that kind of structure Now today we're going to be talking about our debts our transgressions our iniquities
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Confessing our sins to God. So we've now moved into the petition section of the prayer and I think as we begin maybe an analogy would be that we need to recognize that there's a kind of poverty
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That is deeper than our bank accounts. There is a kind of soul deep
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Insolvency That every human inherits in our flesh.
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We are born spiritually bankrupt We accrue debt with every breath. We're utterly incapable of repayment.
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That's why Jesus taught his disciples to pray Forgive us of our debts Not if we sin
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But when we sin Not make us better But pardon us
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This prayer is not sentimental it's surgical Jesus puts divine grace on our lips and then demands that we reflect it forgive us as we forgive which is such a powerful phrase
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This is the miracle of mercy Where the forgiven become the forgivers and grace flows from the cross into our lives and then out to the world
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We don't study this prayer as detached scholars But as desperate sinners who are in need of forgiveness and who are also in great need of being forgiving people
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What are debts? Well the Greek word after a Mata refers to moral and spiritual
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Debts the kind that we owe to a holy God These debts are accumulated failures where we have fallen short of perfect obedience and love to the law of God Every sin is a line item in the book of divine justice
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Romans 3 23 Romans 6 23 and the wages are death. Calvin says that we owe a righteousness that we cannot pay
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Not only a debt that has been given Like the servant Matthew 18 who owed 10 ,000 talents.
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We are buried in our guilt We're not people who occasionally stumble we are bankrupt beggars
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Who are pleading at the throne of grace that God would overlook our insurmountable offenses
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Now that's our debt. What does it mean for us to be forgiven? Well, the word used here is a fee a my meaning to release to cancel to send away
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So what we are doing is we are asking God to release this insurmountable debt that we have accumulated
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It would be like America asking the countries who have our debt to just forgive us to just release it.
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Why because we asked This is not asking
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God to act as though he has some sort of divine amnesia It has to be inherently sacrificial
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Because God isn't just gonna wipe the books clean. He's not like a Like a bookie who moves money around Fallaciously Our sins can't be shrugged off if God is just They have to be sacrificed paid for they have to be nailed to the cross
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Colossians 2 13 through 14 Forgiveness cost us nothing but it costs
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Christ everything When Jesus said it is finished to tell us die
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He is saying that the debt is paid from this point and forevermore the verb
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If you if you've ever heard this before is a very fascinating verb to tell us die It is finished it actually in English would better be better translated.
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It has been finished what what it is is it's a perfect verb and what a perfect verb is is that it means that it has a definite point in the past Where it was done, but it also has an iterative an ongoing future
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Fulfillment where it is being fulfilled constantly. So it's not just a point in time like A past tense verb is a point in time and then it's over a perfect tense verb is a point in time
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That moves on forever So when Jesus says it is finished he meant
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It is forever finished Now we see in our forgiveness that the
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Lord is compassionate grace it gracious slow to anger Exodus 34 6 He's rich in mercy
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Ephesians 2 4 and yet his mercy never violates his justice Because at the cross justice and mercy kiss
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God remained just while justifying the sinner Romans 3 26 he didn't ignore our sin
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He paid for our sin as Psalm 130 declares. There is forgiveness with you that you may be feared
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Love that Forgiveness doesn't fuel flippancy
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Forgiveness fuels reverence Forgiveness doesn't breed leniency it breeds a
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View towards the bloody love of God where he gave everything for his people Now with that forgiveness is central to this prayer verse
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John 1 9 says if we confess our sins He's faithful and just to forgive us of our sins his pardon flows from his very nature and it is and it is for us
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God has commanded us to ask for us to request for us to petition that our That we would be forgiven but our unforgiveness is also connected to this because Jesus warns whenever you stand praying and You don't forgive
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Then how can you expect that God would forgive you? Mark 11 25 in this way bitterness blocks our communion with God in This sense we cannot pray to a merciful
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God while being merciless ourselves That is why reformed worship includes regular
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Confession of sin and assurance of pardon because we approach God not with presumption but with repentance
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Not in self -confidence, but in the confidence we have in Christ to come boldly to the throne of grace
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We come stained and we leave joyfully clean on the basis of Jesus Not anything that we have done not because we're so righteous in our liturgy
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Now the logic of Jesus's words here doesn't just teach us about how to seek forgiveness
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He commands us to extend it to others That's so important in this passage forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors
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So as we are asking the Lord to forgive us of our sin It must be the next breath on our lips to ask that we would forgive those who sinned against us
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We don't earn forgiveness by forgiving but we prove that we've received it by forgiving
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Our forgiveness is not the root of God's mercy But it is the fruit of God's mercy as Calvin said no one can presume to ask forgiveness while he himself is harboring resentment and Then in this way
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Jesus will not allow us to hoard our graces To receive mercy but to deny it to deny it to others is hypocrisy that leads unto damnation
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This is why he follows By saying if you do not forgive others, then your father will not forgive you
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Matthew 6 15 That's not a contradiction of grace It's confirmation of it because forgiven people forgive and evidence of the fact that you've been forgiven is that you forgive if we don't
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Forgive we show that we were never forgive then Does that make sense? I love the parable of the unforgiving servant because it's so clear on this point
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It says in the passage those servants Matthew 18 21 through 35 It's very interesting.
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It's right before Jesus comes to the city Who showed no mercy so that's in the background as well
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In that passage a servant is forgiven 10 ,000 talents which in modern -day value is somewhere in the billions
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And then he chokes his fellow servant over a couple of hundred hundred denarii
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Which is pocket change When the king finds out he's furious and he says you wicked slave should you not also have had mercy
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This would be like forgiving someone the debt of Elon Musk's entire net worth and then
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Refusing to forgive someone who owed you a cup of coffee by being forgiven so much.
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How could that slave be so forgiveness? Jesus says this is how his father will treat those who don't forgive others
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That he will throw them into the place where there's weeping and gnashing of teeth Because it's spiritual treason.
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It's the spit in the face of God. It's to look at him and to say yeah I know you've forgiven me so much but That person really annoys me forgiveness is hard but refusing to forgive is hellish
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Now the question is how should we forgive Forgiveness is not emotional amnesia.
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It's not just forgetting that someone's hurt you It's it's not just ignoring the pain or being ignorant to it.
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It's but it is willful. It is covenantal Jesus does say that we must forgive from the heart
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Matthew 1835. We must forgive sincerely without pretense It's not pretending that the pain didn't happen, but it is declaring that we will release the debt
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Forgiveness is saying this I am NOT going to be the judge jury or execute executioner in this matter
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I'm gonna give it over to God now in that sense forgiveness doesn't require reconciliation
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That is something that that we often get confused about to forgive someone doesn't
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Necessarily mean that reconciliation is going to happen forgiveness is I release the right
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To be the judge in this matter and I give it over to God that's forgiveness as you forgive someone
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They may not either forgive you or they may not reconcile with you and This is hard because We tend to be quid pro quo kind of people
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When we forgive someone who's hurt us when we forgive someone who's done something awful to us
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We expect that it's gonna lead to a positive result. It is very difficult When you forgive someone and they still spit in your face
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It's one of the hardest things that you can do Because we want and our heart to believe that if we are selfless, they will be too
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And it doesn't always happen Your job is not their job
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Your job is to release the debt that they owe you and to trust
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God with the results That's your job. You can't control the outcome. You can't control them You can't control whether or not they're gonna be repentant or not.
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You just can't You can pray for them You can be kind to them
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But you can't make them Repent Douglas Wilson notes that forgiveness is a transaction if the person repents then you seal it in Reconciliation if not, you still let go of the bitterness
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Because the bitterness is what will actually kill you It's funny about forgiveness when you release the debt that someone owes you it heals you
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Oftentimes people actually They take up space in our head more than they actually care about the situation
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So when we release the debt, we actually release the power that they have over us Because they're not thinking about it probably
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Why should we forgive because God forgave us? Ephesians 4 2 says just as Christ in Christ.
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You are also forgiven. You should forgive can't cling to the cross and a grudge Number two, the reason we should forgive because we imitate our father when we forgive be merciful just as your father is merciful
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Luke 636 When we forgive others we declare I belong to God Number three, why do we forgive because bitterness destroys us?
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Hebrews 12 15 says see to it that no root of bitterness springs up in you if you don't forgive you are
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Guaranteeing that a root of bitterness will grow up in you and choke you out
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Number four, why do we forgive because prayer our prayer is hindered Mark 11 25 says whenever you stand praying forgive
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Jesus even talks about it like your prayers bounce off the ceiling Or like ricochet off the clouds.
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They don't make it when you're harboring bitterness an example of this in Scripture would be
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Joseph At the end of his life. He said what you meant for evil God meant for good. He forgave he didn't forget
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You know, he didn't forget because of the way the whole thing went down Where he made them keep
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Benjamin back with him and they made them go back to get Jacob and all he didn't forget
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But he did release the debt You can see that this is true of Stephen as the stones are flying and hitting him in the face
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He said father forgive them. They're not what they do act 760 you think about Modern -day examples like Corrie ten boom forgave the
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Nazi guard. She said forgiveness is not an emotion The will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.
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That was a quote from her Forgiveness Glorifies God and brings life to us.
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It releases the root of bitterness It releases the power that someone has over us and it frees us in So many ways
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I think this is why Jesus tells us not only to ask for our forgiveness But he couples it with as you are forgiving others
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It's so important the word as means as so as you were asking for forgiveness be
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Extending forgiveness don't ever separate those two they go together. They're a couplet now with that What Questions do you have?
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About this about this passage. I think it's pretty straightforward But I want us to keep in mind here that there's categories
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We approach God for who he is his father Then we approach God for what he's doing in the world his mission unto the ends of the earth then
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We ask God for our needs that we have our needs for what? To bring his kingdom on earth as it is in heaven
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Then we confess our sin and also extend forgiveness that there's a pattern here that as we pray we should be implementing it
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So what questions do you have? Yes, sir Yeah, so my general rule is the the level of Public versus private should should be consistent when it comes to the forgiveness.
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So if someone slanders me publicly Or let's let's say, okay,
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I'll put it in the in my court. Let's say I slander someone publicly I should apologize. I should apologize publicly if I send against someone in private.
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I think I should apologize to them in private So if there's an offense that happens to the person
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I think yes, so for instance, let's say a man lust while he's out in public and The woman who he is
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Lusting after has no idea I think it would be very strange if he walked up to her and apologized for what he did because there was no offense on her part it was it was literally a vertical sin between him and God and She was just what he she was the medium by which he sent against God So I think it would be strange in that moment if however the man lusting is
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Is There there is an offense that happens where she is made aware of it or then there could be some apology
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It depends on if the person being sent against is actually harmed or aggrieved if not confess the sin of the
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Lord if so, then also In addition to confessing to the
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Lord confess to the person and in a way that's consistent with how they were grieved. Yeah Say say you wronged me and you don't realize that you wronged me
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Then I I feel harmed I've been genuinely offended you have genuinely genuinely sinned against me is it then
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Then do I go up to him and say I forgive you for sitting against me or do
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I just forgive you in my heart So if sometimes people would probably Yeah, I Mean I'll answer for me and then
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I'll open it up for others as well If there's if there's harm done to me and that person's not a believer
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I'll still go up and have a conversation with them and say hey Because I like to keep short accounts. Hey what you did?
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This is how it frustrated me this is how I felt like that it was inconsiderate or whatever else and I'm not gonna hold it over you
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I am I'm forgiving you, but I wanted to bring it to you because me just letting it fester in my heart wasn't good
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So I can I can do it like that or I can say I can even add the gospel on top of that They might be offended
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But I do think it's important as especially as men who love the
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Lord So keep short accounts with those people who offended us so that we don't carry grievances because our heart is so easy
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To carry those things. I do think releasing them is important Yeah, I think so I think it
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I think it's helpful Yeah Right That's the posture of prayer it we don't come to our equal
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And and we don't we certainly don't come to our inferior We we come in a very specific relationship where we where we are infinitely inferior to this superior and glorious God so humility reverence, but also joy
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All those things are appropriate Nikki do you have a question? Yeah Yeah I Think so and I think this could be an area where the world blindly has like broken clock is right
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You know twice a day sort of thing. I do think that this comes straight out of the New Testament So they're they're they're not quoting their own wisdom here
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So I do think that like for instance you said someone who's died like say a parent who's died and You can't actually reconcile with them if forgiveness was contingent upon the reconciliation.
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You couldn't actually have You can't actually forgive them right, so Or the person who's unwilling to to reconcile with you.
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You couldn't actually Experience forgiveness, but I I I do think that the
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Bible differentiates forgiveness and reconciliation for that reason I think the goal of all forgiveness should lead to reconciliation, but should autos
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All those sometimes because the situations don't always happen. Yeah. Yes, ma 'am
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This is a believer and unbeliever Okay, I do think
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I do think as uncomfortable as it is. We we this this is me I think we do have a duty to to forgive and to and to even have those conversations like when
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Jesus says if a If a brother or sister sins against you go and tell it to them I think that I don't think that's a
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Suggestion and I don't think that there's loopholes out of it, even though I know there are situations where it's uncomfortable for instance like Zacchaeus Zacchaeus chief tax collector and has defrauded many people in his career
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His initial instinct was I'm gonna go pay back everybody. I've defrauded and this could be over years
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Four times what what I've defrauded them and Jesus says salvation has come to this house today
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So I think there's a positive example in that of even if it's awkward That that I think the
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Lord would would would say that that's you know Yeah, right
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It's that weird sort of moment I was talking about with Adam if you can be between you and the Lord Laura if your conscience is clean and you have forgiven them
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Then you know, maybe it's not necessary to you know, ruffle the feathers as it were But I'm often skeptical of myself at how well
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I actually can release Burdens and not carry them even like in my subconscious So I'm very skeptical of myself in that way and I I just kind of as a rule just Yeah, I'm gonna make it awkward.
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I don't care Just I know how bad
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I am Yes, sir
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Yeah, Peter when he was trying to be Like impressive to Jesus.
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He was trying to really show Jesus how pious he was He said how many times should we forgive 70 times 7 like he's coming up with like a ridiculous number
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Or know how many times should we forgive and Jesus says 70 times 7? So Jesus is actually the one using the hyperbole there to say continually
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I do also think though that there's wisdom in Protecting yourself from people who habitually sin against you without remorse so for instance
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There was a season of mine and Shannon's marriage Where the most honoring thing that I could do for my mom and dad was to protect
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Shannon and I from my mom and dad I wasn't disrespectful about it But they were sending in a particular way that was that was especially painful
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There was no forgiveness. No remorse nothing and it was causing damage in our family and I don't believe that the
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Lord With with the concept of being for a forgiving person.
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I don't think the Lord Wants us necessarily to lay ourself out as a living sacrifice in a doormat for someone to continually stomp on us
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I think sometimes that there is wisdom where you can remove yourself from a person or from a relationship that that's toxic
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Not because you if you stay in it You can't forgive them. You can continue to forgive them over and over and over again but I do think that I don't think it's wrong also to put boundaries and protections up so that So that you're not getting continually send against also
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Yes, right.
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I think what Derek's highlighting is such a good point ethical situations are sometimes pretty complex
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Because there's the there's the law. There's the command There's the there's the explicit verse and then there's the really messy situation that that sometimes
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Like Proverbs says there's wisdom in many counselors sometimes in a particular
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Situation where you're in the middle of it. It's a really good idea to go talk with others and to get godly counsel not just from people who are going to tell you what you want to hear and not just from people who have a an underdeveloped or non developed
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Christian worldview But from mature men or mature women get counsel because sometimes these situations are difficult
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The situation with my parents was really difficult because I'm trying to hold intention the love my wife like Christ loves the church and also honor my parents and and it was that was probably one of the hardest things
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I walked through and it was about three years of separation in that relationship And then in your heart you sort of dwell on that on that bitterness
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Oh, you bring it back up not that they continually sin against you But like it's really grievous sin and you forgive them to their face and you say you say in your heart
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I'm going to forgive this person But then you know when a week you're thinking back and you draw the bitterness back up It's like is it then wise to say
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I'm going to read forgive them in my own heart and like make Make a point to do that or do you just sort of settle on oh,
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I've forgiven them once If not, it's a good question
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Again I Think it's also important that if it's new offenses, then it requires a new
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Moment of conversation and forgiveness if it's an especially a grievance offense that just continues to plague you
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I think that in our forgiveness we share the story of the gospel We share the story of Christ forgiving us even when we weren't worthy
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So if I'm just I'm giving a hypothetical here belushi But if someone does something so grievous to me that that I've forgiven them personally
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But I'm not yet fully recovered from the pain of it and it keeps coming back up I don't go back to that person and re forgive them again
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I don't go back to that person and reengage them on that sin again because the problem at that point is that I need
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Repentance in my repentance. I need I need help with my forgiveness and that's between me and the Lord But I don't want to go back and readdress the same sin over and over and over again because Christ doesn't do that with me
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My Yeah, and we continue
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I think as you said we mortify our feelings so that they're consistent with the declaration yeah
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I Said isn't it funny we remember other people's sins more passionately than ours
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Yeah Yeah The word in first Peter where it says to cast your anxieties on him because he cares for you is a present active indicative
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Greek verb which means Casting casting casting casting casting casting casting casting your anxieties on him
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So it's it's like whack -a -mole when they show up you whack them And then you cast your anxieties on them
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You know, and if you fight it for the rest of your life and you die fighting it, well, praise God. I think that glorifies
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Him. Yeah, I do think that the responsibility to forgive goes up with the more light a person has, for sure.
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I think Paul even says, I'm not talking about the pagans when it comes to this. Like, they're gonna be who they are and do what they do.
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But yeah, with a believer, I think they're absolutely, that's why there's so much language in the Bible of how we treat our brother.
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We'll deal with one of those today in Proverbs. But yeah, the responsibility goes up as you're in communion with someone who's in the covenant as opposed to someone who's outside of it, for sure.
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And it gets complicated when someone who says they're a Christian and they're not.
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That gets, that's a weird situation, but wisdom, right? What were you gonna say?
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Would you say that it's also an example that the Lord has set for us in that He doesn't just forgive us of our sins, but He also gives us the glorious inheritance in that even when we find it difficult to pray for, or to pray for somebody and to forgive somebody, that you actually then start to actively pray for the
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Lord to bless them, and that that can really help us work through the bitterness that we hold on to.
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That's been very helpful for me. Yeah. If you only pray about, oh
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Lord, I forgive them, letting go of the wrongs that they've done to you, that's all you're thinking about.
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But then if you turn to, as the Lord does, where I want this person to be blessed,
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I wanna pray for their flourishing, and when you turn to that, your heart can change towards that person who wronged you.
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Right. I think that's been super helpful. Yeah. The triage of the
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Bible is love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. So your first affection is unto
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God. Your second affection is unto others, and if you have time left, then you can think about yourself. And what you just said, you're doing just that.
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You're loving your neighbor in the same way you would love yourself. Lord bless them. It really does heal your heart.
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Yes, ma 'am. I do still struggle with my multiplication.
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I've chosen to forgive them, but I have to constantly battle through those emotions. Yeah. But thank
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God God doesn't look at me with that irritable hurt that I often express to these people who are wronged me.
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Yeah. So it's another example of how to teach the gospel in that situation. Thank God he's not looking at me in two senses.
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Right. Right, you know? Right. And I also think,
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Niki, that God, God is obviously infinite in his emotions and his being, so he can express his wrath and his joy simultaneously in a way that we can't understand.
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But I do think that the father who looks at a child who is struggling with a particular sin, repenting of it, fighting it, falling down, getting up, falling down,
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I think the father looks at that and is pleased by the activity of actually trying to continually submit it and mortify it, as opposed to someone who doesn't struggle with that sin, but is just sort of apathetic about it and not trusting in the
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Lord. I think the Lord is pleased by our effort. So if it's hard for you to forgive someone who's hurt you, as you continue to crucify that thought, confess that thought, give it to the
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Lord, I think the Lord's pleased even in the process. Even if you're not successful at it, or perfectly successful at it,
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I think he's pleased that you're trusting him with it and coming, yeah, yeah.
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Therefore, after talking about how much Paul, the Apostle Paul struggles with his flesh and with sin, and he knows better, it's the struggle between what he wants to do, the whole thing, and then he finishes by saying, therefore, there is no condemnation.
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Therefore, because of your struggle, you can know. And the Apostle Paul himself, even despite his struggle, knows.
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Now there is no condemnation. The Father is pleased, not because of your own righteousness, but obviously because of the
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Lord's need for his blood. Yeah. Amen. I'd like to make you say, we're learning to battle through our emotions, our feelings, and all those things.
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Help us develop our spiritual muscles. Yeah. So we become effective in changing the world. Amen. Amen. We pushed it.
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Yeah, we did good. The discussion's great, I love it. I'd rather have the discussion than to me just blather on.
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Can we close together with the Lord's Prayer? Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
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Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
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Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever.