Q & A "Christ’s Voice to the Sexually and Relationally Broken" Sunday, September 30 2018 PM

Biblical Foundations for Identity as Male and Female

Tonight now next week. There's a Stephen has told me it's gonna be very hope-filled as we Get to hear more about how we are. How we are get to minister to folks who identify themselves in these ways.

And I know that I have in my hand several questions That ask that very thing and that really is ultimately I think Why most of us are here is is that we want to know how to do that better more biblically more folks and to have a Understanding of how to do that.

So I may I may hold off on a couple of those questions and and tonight we've been talking about the biblical foundations for how we identify ourselves as created in God's image male and female and. And so I want to try to work on some of those questions first and foremost.

Why Christian Resources Separate Conversion and Transformation

One question here says and I think this is referring to the four column Spreadsheet about the different and says why have Christian and this is in quotation marks Separated into two columns and not one Where believers are in different stages of victory?

Over homosexuality, so I think I think the question is Why are we not looking them as in that progressive sanctification model? Why we haven't split into two different camps up there. Could you help us understand that?

Yeah.

So what's going on in the church as is what we see in denomination, right? We see that they're in the church at large. There are varying views and beliefs and what this does this this chart back here is it helps?

When people are seeing predominant people and resources and what they're believing and why and It is to the chart itself is to answer those questions for people. So we didn't really get into the detail of that.

But what's happening on the Christian side is basically the message of psychology that says that Orientation is rarely something that changes in someone's life. And there is a white paper Specifically that's being used by dr. Mark your house and others that are Christian APA people that are saying to these theologians and leaders in the church that rarely Orientation changes and so that column that is called conversion is there.

Singling out that they're actually kind of truncating the power of the gospel. They don't believe in the power of the Holy Spirit. They don't believe that or I wouldn't say they don't believe some don't believe that.

That the Holy Spirit can do an inner working of actually changing the way a person views and feels and thinks. About their their attractions. We got to remember folks the scripture Specifically says that homosexuality.

Homosexual lust is an unnatural Desire it's unnatural heterosexual Desire is God-given. It is natural and Unfortunately, there are people that are communicating that it really isn't that big of a deal that we help people to overcome SSA same-sex attraction which in fact if somebody is left in that they they will be continuing in sin and lust and So there should be a trajectory.

That is the fourth column, which is the idea of.

Transformation. Did he leave anything left? For y 'all to pick up there.

But we're not advocating for trading homosexual lust for heterosexual lust, right. You know, it's like that that isn't God's Holy life. Instead, you know, you're you're you're putting off the thing That compels you towards sin and you're putting on Christ which causes us to grow and mature in.

Righteousness, and we're also not saying that for some people Depending on when they started their walk that they will actually Experience total freedom. Some people actually will struggle till the day they die, but that's where we're sin abounds.

Grace does much more. Well.

Parenting Children in a Culture of Sexual Confusion

Anybody here have kids? Grandchildren, I want to help them. Here's a question. How would you encourage? Christians starting families to do their best to lead their children to believe biblically about this topic of homosexuality.

So as this topic is thrust more and more at younger and younger Demographics parents want to get ahead of the curve there and want to try to help biblically disciple their children. And I suppose there's the discipleship the that the teaching and the instruction side of it.

And what else would there be where Christian parents can help their kids with this?

Well one of that is actually a question we get a lot. One of the most important things even with children are struggling or not we as parents. I learned this many years ago in a homeschool training thing.

My wife and I homeschooled our children, which is as parents. We need to be admitting our own failure making sure that we Demonstrate a path of repentance. By the way that we live our own lives that we live a godly life.

That our children. See that we are being consistent. And if we're being consistent then that gives them hope for something for more change themselves and so that's really I think very important in regard to a child or somebody who's struggling with Homosexuality is that we continue to live an uncompromised godly life.

So and you know Robin and I've gotten older. I mean we're looking at the 6 -0 and and we've seen a lot of death in our family. And you never know when you're gonna die, and if we live a godly life for our children and grandchildren.

You know. Hopefully we're leaving them a legacy that they will remember the way that we lived our lives. And that's so important for all of us who have gay identified loved ones. And I I have gay identified loved ones too outside of my immediate family in my bigger family so painful.

Laura did you want to add something?

So I think that we all need to be all of us everybody in this room too needs to Be inoculated against the view that is coming at us that People don't change and particularly this thing can't change and when when we want to give hope in our own families.

Steven gave a good point about Becoming rooted and grounded in in identity in Christ, which is not just Biblical fact, but identity that comes from a growing relationship with him. One that says I can go to him when I'm dirty and He can wash me clean.

One that can go to him with a candid confession and Say I'm received and I'm and he empowers me for change. And I think you know that when we're discipling our our kids or for that matter Everybody else's kids that I get to minister to when we're discipling them, you know, there's there's a value to the candor like you just said to being able to be candid enough to say people do fail and and and we we can insulate The ones that we love from being full of shame.

Because of failure because shame empowers the homosexual sin.

That's my contribution. The only thing that I would say.

To add to this the both offerings are excellent is what you approve of your children are going to prove of and As parents we are charged with Keeping an eye at the gate that comes into the gate. So if we allow the immoral into the city, it will it will influence the city at some point.

And we live in an environment that celebrates immorality on a ever-expanding basis daily. And and and it's in its infiltrating everything that's why social media is is is fraught with it. That's why your emails have ads TV is lowering its standards on on what is Morally acceptable.

So, you know, there's that aspect of it as well. I want to mention Jim Farrington is our intern, but he's been around our ministry for about 10 years and so he's come on staff, but he has come out of homosexuality himself and He has a gay-identified child and he helps minister in our parent family and friends group.

Right, and this is a this is a topic the the parents that we we minister to they have their you know, they it's it's not uncommon anymore for there to be a Family member that is gay identified and the questions.

What do we do? We have little ones. How do we handle this? How do we you know, and the parents have to be really proactive in in what they How they allow that family member to influence those children and that's wisdom.

It's not it's not, you know. It's not meant to make the gay identified loved one out to be Anything other than a loved one, but it is being able to teach your children to recognize right from wrong good from evil.

Right where you're charged with that whether it's a gay identified loved one or not. We still have that responsibility and you you know, and and and it's also being led by the Holy Spirit. You know, if the word says if we ask for wisdom, he'll give it.

I asked for one further comment and that is. You know the majority of the parents that we had we minister to. Raised their children. Well very well. Put put the Word of God clearly in front of them put authentic lives in front of them.

Lived exemplary truly upright not duplicitous Christian lives and and yet some this has entered into their homes as well. And many of you I'm sure know what it is to have a kid that went into rebellion, too.

And when you did your dead level best, so it's not really. You know, can we guarantee? But I you know when we're talking about creating an atmosphere that says, okay. This is this is the sacrificial side of love.

You know, we we we are open-hearted in our ministry. We we don't look at contempt with at people who struggle. You know is the rule of love abounding in your hearts. That's a test that I have to pass, you know at my own house, but.

But ultimately, you know, it's like, you know, are we are we. God word and everything that we do not not religious. But our hearts on fire with him. That's good.

Speaking to a Gay-Identified Family Member Without Losing Truth

Well, I think there's a question here that you've been hitting around and maybe you could speak directly to it. The question is this how would you advise? Speaking to a family member who identifies as gay but does not find identity in the love of God so I imagine that that means somebody who is identifying themselves as gay but not At all religious or spiritual not in relationship with God at all, how do we speak with that person?

And of course, I think the idea is that we that we not lose the relationship At simultaneously also not losing the truth. How do we do that? That's good.

I'll begin I got everybody has good answers. I'm sure but One thing that we underscore over and over in our ministry and and would be true for Just preaching the gospel. We don't have to go after somebody's particular sin first and and when somebody is already in that position where they're gay identified and they may even be hostile towards the idea of You know Homosexuality I'm a sinner they probably know that and so one of the most important things that we can do is to live it and to To to the best of our ability to continue in relationships so that we can be Influential and we never stop praying for somebody.

I you know, I found out historically later that I had all these people praying for my salvation and And so but living a godly witness I love the the quote that's attributed to Augustine or st. Francis whoever you see in church history and that is you know Preach the gospel all day long and if necessary use words.

Now I'm quick to come beside my other brothers and sisters that would say that's impossible. That's not total correct gospel truth, and I would say that's right. We are to preach the gospel they're not going to hear unless we hear but it's so important to be that example and And in being that example to give away a safe way to be able to speak to truth Not just the homosexuality But that Jesus Christ died for all of sin for every motive every intention of the heart That's actually evil and wicked and that we need a Savior.

I guess I answered nobody else I.

Will probably close out on this on this question. Are you aware of the audit has been published by living out? Yes, and then how would you respond to that set of questions? And do you think that those are accurate indicators of what they call biblical inclusivity?

And if they people don't know what that is, if you could kind of fill them in well part of the problem.

Okay, so the audit has come from a ministry out of England that has Tim Keller and his wife embracing it bringing it over to the United States. Within the PCA and the gospel coalition churches and the PCA that's actually the more biblical traditional branch of the Presbyterians and the audit is this idea of LGBTQ people are and in their words sexual minorities.

So the reason for the audit to begin with is on a shaky foundation. Based upon mark your house's work and the idea that we do as a church need to understand that people's Orientation do not change. So that's part of the problem with the audit now.

There are actually some good things in the audit in itself about how we're handling souls and people. But there are some some things within the audit the terminology like. The one thing that bothers me the most I think was like question number nine, which is that we're gonna allow Practicing homosexuals to come in.

Yeah, it says here church family members inclusive share meals homes holidays festivals money children children. With others from differing backgrounds and life situations to them. So it's asking true false or not sure about an audit of how your church is going to handle this.

I'm sorry folks. This is ridiculous and and I've come out of this. There is no way on God's green God's green planet that I'm going to allow practicing homosexuals to have time with my children and to advocate that in the Church of Jesus Christ and As pastors we have to say, you know.

The first is to protect the children from any kind of LGBTQ chaos or thinking let them grow up in a place of You know where their innocence isn't distorted or destroyed and and so there's just some there's some real Problematic ways in which some of the wording is on this and so we do have problems with this.

And at the same time there's some things about the way that we think and bully people. That is wrong and we should have an audit and understanding in our church. That's not the way that we treat people so this this is.

This is a little disturbing honestly with some of what's going on here because the way that I see it It's really dumbing down holiness and they'll even say it this way, you know, not, you know freedom from Homosexuality is is not heterosexuality but holiness but a lot of times when people are saying that they're not talking about a Holiness that means freedom from an internal world of struggle.

They're just kind of leaving people in their struggle. That's not holiness or that we're going to invite the world into the church. The church is the Ecclesia. This is the fellowship. So, yes, this may be a good way to handle some ways of community groups or designated adults that reach out to gay people to bring them in to share the gospel and that's why every church leadership really does need to do a Really good job at thinking through this stuff and have policies in place.

Because then once you bring the gay people into the church and you've actually set up the audit to do so what happens when the the The two women come up and say we demand to have our gay wedding in this church folks.

It's gonna happen. So we have to have policies in place that are not so inclusive. That we cause problems for us in the church. And so there's some things in this have not been well thought of I mean we could do honestly Michael we could we could spend an hour Going through or more going through every one of those questions and why this is not good or why this is a good one.

But the idea behind it I'm sure is out of a motive of love in that they want to try to reach people which is not a bad thing. But there's there's some things in this that are coming from a foundation of the idea that orientation doesn't change.

And that's a problem. Well, that's what I was concerned about. I know that I know that you all have been laboring right along with Steven for many years. But the question number ten that says no one should be pressurized into expecting Expecting or seeking any healing and that's in quotation marks.

No one should be pressurized into expecting or seeking any healing or change. That God has not promised any of us until the renewal of all things. Which feels like to me? A body blow against First Stone Ministries and others who are doing the very same thing that you all are doing.

And This and other things are one of the reasons why I'm glad that you're here. So you want to hear from from you you all or we would say you're in the trenches your everyday laboring in this. But do you expect healing?

Do you expect those that you counsel that do you want them to expect healing and to seek change and repentance in their life.

Hope, Lordship, and the Possibility of Change

Yeah, of course we do but why. Yeah, so in in my office the hope. So I would not teach in my office the hope being you need to. Your hope is fixed on not ever struggling again. In this regard, it's it's not Christian truth That we will never be tempted or that we will not suffer.

But Where are we fixing our hope ultimately? And I was taught and Really in the first and second year of my discipleship to hitch my wagon to the Jeep to Jesus and So he he got to say and I didn't get to say.

And we used a phrase back then Jesus is Lord and I Took that to mean that I bow the knee and he he gets to say. But we have a culture right now that doesn't really speak of his lordship and Does not speak of his kingly authority or his right to call for for change in us.

So yeah, I mean that's the first thing you teach which is the basis of hope, right? I just think of the the.

Well, I mean for me When I when I came out of homosexuality the the crux of it was My my fully yielding and surrendering to the lordship of Jesus Christ and that was if it kills me I'm gonna follow you.

And I had tried in my own strength to Get free, but it wasn't until that I was willing to die to have him that I That I found freedom and I recognize and I even had a conversation with someone just a couple of days ago that that There's a There's a there's a direct correlation between attraction For instance with what I perceive I lack and what someone else has.

You know, like if you if you if you don't have enough money. But you see someone who's making a ton of it. You want to be like that man, right. Or like that woman? Doesn't mean I'll ever be that man. But I've given Jesus complete authority over over my sexuality over my identity over my heart over my mind my life my soul everything.

And so if it if it wars against His authority in my life and against scripture then it's something that I yield to him. Which the core of the gospel the word repentance is all about change is all about turning from and turning to and if we if we start negating that and Minimizing that we are minimizing one of the phone foundational pieces and for that to even Suggest that we should leave people stuck is.

Harassing. Yeah, I don't have anything Very profound other than the Lord's reminding me. So when I was young I would you know, we talked about vows early childhood vows. I was Wanting to make a vow that I would never ever get married and the Holy Spirit knew that I was wanting to say it and said Don't say that and I was like, okay, I'm not gonna say that I'm vowing to not say that and And the Lord's reminded me of that today it's like Just stay open stay open for what I have for you and You know, like I say, I think part of like in my world because of the genetic disorder and the low testosterone.

I don't have a lot of drive. I don't have a lot of energy. I mean this guy Knows me. Stephen knows me. I'm tired a lot. I don't have a lot of motivation. And I've never really wanted to get married and yet the Lord has asked me to not ever say I won't.

And so that leaves it open for me that the Lord may have that for me and I need to actually be open to it. I want to thank everyone. We are Definitely 30 minutes past the time that we promised that we would be done.

But I don't. I hope that nobody regrets the opportunity. We've had to spend some time with the staff at First Tone Ministries. I hope I'm speaking accurately for those who are here that we are very blessed to have you and we've been very very encouraged.

Take the opportunity before you leave to take a look at the books and the resources. Back here at the back and I know that Stephen and all the rest of his staff will make themselves available. For you guys, let me go ahead and say a brief word of prayer and then we will be dismissed.

Father I thank you for blessing our time together tonight and gathering us here. I thank you for the insistence in the fidelity of These folks at First Tone Ministries to stick with the Word of God And to stick with your truth and to affirm your lordship in all of our lives, and I pray that you would bless them.

I pray that you would keep them. I pray that you would Cause your face to shine upon them and be gracious to them that you would lift up your countenance upon them and grant them peace. I pray these things for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Amen. Amen.