The Proverbs 31 Woman (05/14/2023)

Good morning, everyone, and happy Mother's Day. We have some special roses for our moms today, and Abby and Parker are going to help us pass those out. So let's do that at this time. I would just hand them a couple at a time, because they're beautiful but fragile.

So just give them a couple at a time, and they can come back and get more. All right, Parker, hand those to a mother. Let's have all our moms stand so Parker can see who we are. I wouldn't swing it too much, Parker.

It's very fragile. That's okay. She can have one. Good job, Abby. Looks like we had a wedding in here. There's petals all up and down the aisle. Abby. Abby. Give all the ladies one, why don't we? So moms, you may be seated, and give Ms. Pam one.

There we go. There you go. Now we're fixed up. Now, if we just had some white ones, we could give the gentlemen little boutonnieres today and we'd be all fixed up. Did you get one, Ms. Mitchell? All right.

Very nicely done. Nicely done. That's awesome. Good job. Good job, young people. Okay. We wish we had some for you guys out there, but our hearts are with you and we have so many thoughts of appreciation for all the mothers today and everything you do.

It's the most important job in the world, and if there's going to be any hope for this nation at all, you're raising up the hope in your homes. The Lord did not dish out any greater jobs than the job of a mom.

Mothers, Poetry, and the Value of Motherhood

Well, let me read you a poem here. I don't do that real often in my preaching, but we hadn't started preaching yet. So I'm going to read one from an old Quaker poet named Greenleaf Whittier. Lived in 1807.

He said, A picture memory brings to me. I look across the years and see myself beside my mother's knee. I feel her gentle hand restrain my selfish moods and know again a child's blind sense of wrong and pain.

But wiser now, a man gray grown. My childhood's needs are better known. My mother's chastening love I own. So he's thankful for every whooping he ever got. Isn't that a nice way to say that? All right, and here's one from Carl Sandburg, I think.

Everybody had to read him in college, if you went to college, probably even in high school. Lived in 1878. And he was in a carriage going through the city, looking at things in the city streets and wrote three poems that night.

And the third one had to do with home. And it says, Here is a thing my heart wishes the world had more of. I heard it in the air of one night when I listened to a mother singing softly to a child restless and angry in the darkness.

Think about that. Isn't that great? He was just going through town in a horse-drawn carriage and heard a baby crying and the mom singing to her. He wrote a poem about it. Pretty cool. But there is no greater thing that a human being can do.

And only about half of us can do it. And that's the moms. And so thank you. Thank you. We should say to every mom like we do our military people, thank you for your service. You bring all of the light and joy and tenderness and half the love, maybe a little more than half the love into every home.

Prayer Before the Sermon and the Witness of Women in Scripture

All right. Well, let us go to the scripture now. Let's have a word of prayer first. Lord, we thank you so much for your word. We ask you to once again, bless it as you always do. It never returns void.

It will do a work in our hearts today. And we thank you for that. May your Holy Spirit be in complete control of our service today. We thank you for the music we've already heard. And we ask you to bless the preaching now in Jesus' name.

Amen. Well, we've been talking about some of the most important things in the whole Bible are things that women did. And I remember last time, I think it was really interesting as we talked about the fact that when the Marys went to the tomb and the angel met them there, it must have been quite a frightening experience, this glorious, strong angel who meets them there and says, he's not here, he's risen.

But they were chosen to be the two messengers that took that message of the risen Savior to all of the apostles. And you have to keep in mind in that day and time, there was probably no society and no world religion that existed that would even allow women to testify in court.

So the status of women at that time was very, very low in the world, except Jesus Christ lifted to the level it should be in his lifetime, his short lifetime on the earth. And so the Lord had his messenger to send to women with the witness that Jesus was still alive.

Now, isn't that interesting when you think about it in that day and time? So we talked about a lot of things that women were called to do in the scripture. And of course, this part in Roman chapter 16, verse 1 and following, where a lot of people, about 35, actually more than that, people are commended by the apostle Paul for helping him in his work.

And many of them were women. And that's kind of the context we're in. We've sort of diverged out into a topical study off of these verses that has to do with the proper role of women in the church. And we took three Sundays and talked about the improper role.

Some people took issue with that, not in this room, but some did. And that's okay, because all I did was read scripture. But I made it clear when I started that, that we were going to end up talking about the commendation of Phoebe and the other women and the wonderful things that the Bible teaches about the role of women in the church.

So we've done that now for, what, one Sunday or two? A couple? And now today I wanted to end on Mother's Day because we're going to go into Proverbs chapter 31 and talk about the Proverbs 31 woman. So you can be turning in your Bible to Proverbs 31.

The Proverbs 31 Woman as an Ideal for Home, Work, and Wealth

And this is really a remarkable passage of scripture. It is even different, I think, than a lot of Christian pastors as they take a look at the role of women in the church. I think you've got two different kinds.

You've got the false preachers who preach that it's okay for women to preach to men in the congregation and teach them the Bible and have authority over the men. Those are false prophets, false teachers who teach that, false churches, false groups who believe that.

But then you have the other side of people that understand the Bible forbids that, but they take it way over on the other side of the pendulum swing and they just practically act like women can't do anything, like they shouldn't be involved with anything.

And we made it clear that the passages that talk about women not teaching men or usurping authority over the men or being silent in the church are specifically talking about the ordained church service on the Lord's day.

Not talking about at home, in the home or anywhere, in the workplace, at the restaurant, where we're witnessing to people. Women have just as much a right to witness and to disciple as men do. I do think it's wise when a woman is with her husband, if you're teaching doctrine, or at least you're teaching the good doctrine that you've heard and learned at church and from your husbands.

If you're witnessing and discipling, if he doesn't have to be there and the Lord leads you, then you should do it. And so that's a little different than what a lot of the hardliners believe. But that is what the Bible teaches.

In fact, it was such a wonderful example this week in our home. If you were in Sunday school, you heard a little bit about this already, but Ben wanted to go over part of his lesson with me before he taught it this morning because he had a couple of thoughts on positions that a certain passage in Malachi, I think it was chapter three, starting with about verse four, it seemed like it changed to a parenthetical where he changed who the prophet was talking about and the timeframe.

And Ashton was sitting over on the couch, probably holding a baby. And Ben and I were going back and forth with this theological discussion. And she's over there just reading the Bible. And so I told Ben, no, I don't think, I think actually he just started talking to the people in front of him instead of going out to the first coming of Jesus and the second coming and all that.

I think now he's just talking to the crowd right there. Because I could tell he was talking about Jews, not the whole world, but Jewish people in particular. And Ben agreed, yeah, it does look like that.

And Ashton said, well, I've got another thought. And she ended up getting it right. She ended up with a third idea. She said, couldn't it be talking about in the millennial kingdom when Jesus rules with the rod of iron?

And that ended up being, I think, exactly what the Bible was teaching. So that's a great illustration of how women can, and we talked about it in scripture about Mary and Martha, how Mary would sit at Jesus' feet, study doctrine and get deep into the word, so to speak.

Not all women will do that, but not all men do it either. But it's perfectly wonderful when women do that. It's fine when they do it. There's nothing wrong with that. It's great. And so there's so much positive, far more positive to the role of women than negative.

And the only negatives have to do with the church service, where for all of history of the Jews and the church, since God started the world with Adam and Eve and brought Eve from Adam, and Eve was the first who was deceived, the only one of the two that was deceived, and for those reasons, and because the man came first and the woman from him, for those reasons, she is not allowed to teach men doctrine in the church, ordain church services, and what we do up here while we're having church on the Lord's day.

Now, that's like two things that are disallowed. If we have a church business meeting, they're not allowed to speak in the meeting. They can whisper to their husbands and get their husbands to speak. I've seen again and again churches that don't go by that, where the women will bring up stuff that creates an out-and-out fight in the business meeting.

And so God is right. It shouldn't be done. And what we do in our church is we'll have men's meetings and discuss the issues, especially if there are going to be differences, and I'll let them argue with each other.

And before it's over, we will come to a consensus, and then we will say, okay, let's go home and tell our wives what we discussed and get their thoughts, too, and let's meet back again next week, and we'd do it again until we come to a consensus, and then we make a decision in the church.

And I think that's very biblical. That's how we do it here. So those are three things listed. But all of the things in Christian service that I can think of as I stand here before you are open to women other than those three issues.

It's very specific. And so it's very positive, and I think some churches make it a negative thing. We don't do that here. But today I want to talk to you about perhaps the most powerful passage in the whole Bible about the role of women.

And I do want to preface it with this. Some of what the Scripture says, you may sit there and think, well, it doesn't look like our household exactly, or you say that part looks like ours and this part doesn't.

So this is an ideal. And I'll have to say this. It's also in the context, and we talk about this a lot at Tradeway, about how the Lord promises wealth to his children. But it's a conditional promise. It's not unconditional.

It's conditional. It's an if-then proposition. God says, if you do this, this, this, this, and this, then I will bring wealth to your family. Now, there are quite a few conditions listed. We teach them in Tradeway quite often.

And probably once or twice I've taught through some of them up here. But conditions such as diligence, you have to be diligent. You have to learn skill sets in the business that you're attempting to do.

You have to be closer to the Lord this year than you were last year. And there are several conditions. And we teach through those sometimes in Tradeway. Powerful things. And so this proverb, it's a family that has achieved that probably over several generations.

And sometimes it takes a couple or three generations to create family wealth if you're starting from poverty. You know what the interesting thing about that is? Also in Scripture, it teaches that every wealthy family that ever existed started in poverty.

Everyone did. And so someone in that family at some point says, you know what? I'm going to pray and ask God to let me be the person that takes our family out of poverty toward wealth. And a lot of times that person doesn't reach it completely in his lifetime because we only have so many years.

But then if he passes those skill sets to the children and the grandchildren, they keep building on that by the third generation, they're going to be totally wealthy. And that's when the world looks at them and says, oh, they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

They never had to work for a living. See, the world's got that wrong because the family started in poverty. With my family, it started with my great-grandfather, who had a sixth-grade education, was a junk dealer.

Totally dirt poor. And by the time he died, he owned an oil company in an oil field. The largest oil field in the world at the time was the Mahea oil field, and he owned it. But when he started out, he had nothing.

And he died probably five years after some wealth was created in his lifetime. He didn't get to enjoy it, but maybe five years. He died of lung cancer pretty quickly. But the rest of our family has benefited from it.

So this has happened in this family that we're going to read about. It has already happened maybe for a couple of regenerations. You need to understand that. But still, in your family, I don't know where each of you are.

You may be the person that's starting that. Or you may already be in the second or third generation. But there are things in here that apply to every family. But you need to kind of know that to make this make a lot of sense.

The Proverbs 31 Woman’s Character, Marriage, and Household Leadership

So let's start here with Proverbs 31. Start with about verse 10. And please follow along with me. Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. So, if a man in particular can find a virtuous woman to marry, it's more valuable than any amount of money he could ever make.

But even to the world itself, it says, if the world can find a virtuous woman, the value of it is beyond rubies and gold. Verse 11 says, the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. So now, we start to see a little bit about her character.

And we see there in verse 10, that it talks about she is virtuous. She has many virtues in her life that I think come from this book right here. And from the Lord, from the Holy Spirit. And from this book.

So she is studying the Word. She's in the Word. She also has her own private devotion times during the week. And she's in the Word. So first of all, she's virtuous. That is her character. Now, when we get into verse 11 and 12, it starts to talk about her relationship with her husband, if she's married.

And it says that the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. So the husband is not worried about her going out into the world and meeting some other guy and hanging out with that other guy inappropriately.

The husband's not even worried about it with his wife. Because he knows she's virtuous. And secondly, he just knows that he can safely trust her to be faithful. So that he shall have no need of spoil.

Now that's interesting. Because the book of Proverbs says that if a person commits adultery with a man's wife, that man may well go kill that person. It doesn't say it's okay to, it just says he may do it.

God just puts down human nature. And that is a fact of life. That could happen. It's a very grave situation when adultery is committed in a family. It can create, wreak all kinds of havoc. But here, when this man is married to the Proverbs 31 woman, this virtuous woman, he has no fear of that happening.

And therefore, there's no need for him to ever take spoil from anything. He's not going to have to go out and wreak havoc in the world because of something that his wife did. Secondly, she will do him good.

So it says, first, she won't do him any harm. And then it says, she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Now, gentlemen, that's the kind of wife that the men in this room have. And young men, that's the kind of wife you want to look for if you're not married yet.

And so now, it starts to talk about her qualities as a businesswoman, both within and without the home. Now, what's interesting about this is, most churches, if they take the side where they look at the role of the woman where she's not supposed to preach, she's not supposed to do these things, sometimes they take it so far that they think she's supposed to be a little woman who just stays at home and all she does is just serve the husband, serve the children, serve the meals, clean the house, and that's it.

Now, if you're a woman who does that, which we looked at last time in Titus, it said the older women are supposed to teach the young women to be keepers at home. The thing about it is, it doesn't say that's all that they're supposed to know how to do.

And Proverbs 31 clears that up. That is the primary job. And Mother's Day is a great time to talk about that. The primary job is to keep the home, to keep it nice and clean and things in place so that everyone can be more productive, to keep the meals going, and so forth.

That's the number one job, but it's not the only job. And most preachers, I don't think, ever talk about women being entrepreneurial. They may even act like, well, they shouldn't leave the home and go do anything, but let's see what the Bible says about it.

It says here that, speaking of the qualities of a businesswoman within and outside the home, verse 13 says, she seeks wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. So here she is working at home making the clothing for the family because back then they didn't have malls and department stores.

And they did have places of business where you could buy clothing, but it would be very expensive. So sometimes the woman of the house would serve by actually creating the clothing for the family. Now, in the context of this, I hadn't gotten to it yet, but as we read through, you'll start to see it.

This is a wealthy family. So this woman has other people working for her as she rules the household. She runs the household and she has people working for her. She can even have people helping her make the clothing, but she oversees it and makes sure it gets done.

And in this case, she's doing some of it herself. So look at verse 14. She's like the merchant's ships. She bringeth her food from afar. So she goes out in the market and she knows how to cut a good deal.

Now, over in the Middle East, even to this day, you never pay the price that's asked for anything. You bargain. Now, we've sort of lost that in America, unfortunately. Now, my dad's generation did it on everything.

My dad's dad made it through the Depression by being a horse trader. So that's where my dad learned how to bargain. He would sell horses and cattle and he always had food. My dad always had food in their family going through the Depression because of his dad who was a good trader.

And so here this woman goes out in the markets and gets a good deal and buys the food that the family needs and brings it home. And it says she's like the merchant's ships, which tells me she may be involved in other merchandising as well.

We'll see. Let's keep reading. She rises also while it is yet night and giveth food to her household and a portion to her maidens. So now we start to see that she has people working for her. And we don't know how many.

It could be a lot. And she's like the CEO of the household. I've always called my wife the CEO of our ranch. And she does do that. That's exactly what she does. She makes sure everything is in its place and everybody gets fed and everybody has clothing and takes care of all those things.

And she has people that work for her. And that's how that goes. If you're not to the place yet where you can afford that, then work towards that and maybe the next generation in your family will be at that place.

But the scripture says this is the ideal. This is where we get in our families eventually if we do the conditional things we have to do to create wealth in the family. That's all part of God's desire and will for his children.

If you happen to be the first person in your family line that saw that in scripture you're starting from scratch though. It may take your whole lifetime just to set up the things so that you can teach those to your kids and grandkids and see that start to formulate over time.

So here she gets up early in the morning and makes sure everybody has breakfast including the people that work for her and she takes care of all that. She considers the field and she buys it considers a field I should say.

So now she's leaving the house going out into the world finding a piece of land maybe near where her family lives because she probably wants to plant some things to create more food for the family and she looks at it, she goes out and she buys it.

Not her husband, she does it. So she has a lot of entrepreneurial skill sets. She knows how to bargain she knows what land is worth and she has the money along with her husband to purchase this land and she does so.

With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. So now she's going to plant a vineyard and she's turned that field into a factory that creates wine and she sells it to the whole community. Now she's got a business that's creating wealth.

But she had to buy the field first then she had to plant the vineyard and in the meantime she's running her household taking care of the children, making sure they're fed they have clothing and all this.

Do you start to get the picture? This is a completely different picture of a woman's role than the world in the time of Jesus ever would have talked about but this was written six, seven, eight hundred years maybe a thousand or so years before Christ came into the world.

I should know the exact date but I just didn't look it up but at the time of Solomon they already knew this role of women so this goes back beyond the role of women in the church, it's the role of women in the world from God's viewpoint so here let's see hold on give me a second.

I've got the date 2 ,700 years ago so for 2 ,700 years this is when God revealed this to humanity this is the time of Solomon when he wrote Proverbs so this was about at least 700 years before Jesus maybe more somewhere in that ballpark.

Alright so thanks though Ben for looking it up for me but I found it I just happen to have my Scofield reference Bible which has the date when approximately every book was written which is nice to know.

Alright so she gives meat to her household she considers the fields she buys and she plants a vineyard. Verse 17 says she girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. Now I want you to stop and think about that ladies in particular what is that saying.

She's got strong arms. She's got a strong body she takes care of herself physically. She does things that keeps herself strong and fit and able to do more and more things because she's healthy and strong.

Isn't that interesting that it puts that in there. So that is from the Lord and that is something to be pondered. And then it goes on and says in verse 18 she perceiveth that her merchandise is good and her candle goeth not out by night.

So she's gotten up early that morning taking care of everything she's supposed to getting everybody fed and she goes out. She buys a field and then over time she plants a vineyard and she's taking time to make sure she stays healthy and strong and keeps her body fit.

That takes time maybe not every day but every other day or so to work on the strength of your body. And now she's staying up late at night. So she's her candle goes out late at night and she's still doing things for the family.

And verse 19 says she layeth her hands to the spindle and her hands hold the distiff. And so that has to do with actually creating cloth that she's weaving cloth that she can later sew together and make clothing for the family.

She's doing that late at night before she goes to bed. Now it starts in verse 20 to talk about her religious activities and I say religion in the right sense the good sense. Verse 20 she stretches out her hand to the poor.

Yea she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. And you know in the book of James it says true religion is if you take care of widows and orphans. And this is what she's doing. And she is doing this for the Lord's sake.

And she takes time to take some of the wealth that God has blessed her family with and help others with it. Verse 21. She is not afraid of the snow for her household. For all her household are clothed with scarlet so she doesn't worry about when bad weather cold weather comes.

She's made sure that plenty of clothing is available to her family where they can dress up warm and be warm even when it's snowing. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple.

So she makes herself some clothes to dress up in so that when she goes into the city and does things where it's appropriate she can dress up nice and maybe take care of some of these business matters and appropriate apparel and so forth.

Wisdom, Kindness, and the Praise of a Godly Woman

Now it starts to talk about her personal inner strengths. Look at verse 23. Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land. So she has chosen a man to be her husband who is a leader in the community or a leader in the synagogue or a leader in the church and sits with the elders of the land and contemplates doctrinal issues problems in the world and how to solve them problems in the community and how to solve them.

And that's her husband. So she has a strong leader at home. And part of that is because of her good character she chose the right man not the wrong man. And so young ladies here in the room think about that one because you may make that choice at a very young age.

Some of the most important choices we make are when we're very young seemingly less equipped to make those kind of choices. And yet God has willed that that's when we make them. So guess what? That's why God gave you parents and pastors too and teachers to help you.

So never be afraid to ask for advice from your parents, your pastors your leaders in the church that are older than you that have already seen some of the problems you may face and decisions you may have to make.

Get some help. The Bible says there's safety in the counsel of many. Isn't that interesting? So as you seek a young man young ladies it's really good to let some of the ladies especially your mom take a look at the young men and see what she thinks.

And then let the dad because he knows guys really well see what he thinks. That'll be the tough one to get past. Sometimes is the dad, right? But still you gotta make a good choice. And this woman made an excellent choice.

Verse 24. She makes fine linen and sells it. So now we're back to entrepreneurial abilities again here she's in the market. So some of the clothing that she makes above and beyond what her family needs.

She goes out in the marketplace marks it up at a retail price and sells it for a profit. And now more money is coming into the family through this business that she's got selling clothing. It doesn't have to be selling clothing.

It can be whatever entrepreneurial ideas you have. It is not bad for women to have entrepreneurial ideas and do things they have to put the home first. But with spare time especially as the kids get older you have more spare time and there are many things very many times that you can have great ideas that benefit the family financially.

So when you do talk with your husband about it and pray about it and see if the Lord wants you to do some of these things all right. So she makes fine linen and sells it and delivereth girdles unto the market.

So she's manufacturing underwear. It doesn't always mean that in their vernacular but it can mean that. So the part of the clothing that goes around are loins. So who knows what all she's making there.

But she's manufacturing and selling at retail in the marketplace. Very very fascinating. I think in today's understanding of the role of women a lot of people don't see these things all right. Now let's see verse 25.

Strength and honor are her real clothing. So here back to the inner strengths and character. She has virtue. We know that she is faithful to her husband. We know that. But now it says she has strength and honor.

And it's talking about inner strength and honor means if she says she's going to do something she does it. She's honorable. She tells the truth. She follows through with things that she plans to do and she gets them done.

And she's strong enough in character where she doesn't quit she's not a quitter. She pursues it until she gets it done. And so strength and honor are her clothing. And she shall rejoice in times to come because of it because of her character it will bring good things to her life and her family.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness. So when she does open her mouth and speak she thinks before she speaks. She thinks before she speaks. And she says things that are wise that will help the family and other people with the words she says her words bring grace to the hearer.

And it says in her tongue is the law of kindness. When she does speak she cares about how it makes the other person feel. You know that a lot of people don't know that there are a lot of people in the world.

This is specifically talking to women. But so many people are unkind in how they say something. What they're saying may be totally right but they don't know how to say it. Because you're not going to open your mind.

When a person is not kind to you you'll close your mind. You won't even do. They'll never get you to do what they want you to do. This woman is wise enough to know that if I need to persuade someone to change their actions I need to say it in a kind way.

Isn't that great now. This applies in the home but also in the world in the church, in business, everywhere. This is such a wonderful characteristic that she has verse 27. She looks well to the ways of her household.

Isn't it interesting that it sandwiches all of this outside of the home stuff this entrepreneurial stuff in between take care of the home and then it ends it with she's still taking care of the home. So both sides of the parentheses if you want to turn it this way take care of the home with your other time do this stuff.

It's very fascinating where the emphasis is. So she looks well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up and call her blessed. Isn't that beautiful. Her husband also and he praises her.

Many daughters have done virtuously but thou excelest them all. Now think about that ladies you've got a lot of women in the world who are doing things. But if you can do things with this inner character that this woman has that so many women don't have.

Faithful to the husband. Faithful in everything that you say you will do that you will do those things. Strength and honor. Wisdom when you open your mouth wise things come out. Kindness when you speak to people.

Most women don't have that many women don't. But you can. And when you do these things that are listed here by the Holy Spirit as he writes the Bible then you will excel the other women. You will excel the women of the world by far now they may think they're better than you but in God's eyes they certainly aren't.

But even in your family's eyes there's no comparison. And you will rise up and be noted for your character and the things that you do in your life. And you'll be praised for it by your children by your husband, by your family and in some cases the world although they don't particularly like Christians.