Valuable Lessons Learned From 15 Years Of Ministry

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All right, well, tonight we're going to look at some lessons that I've learned in the last 15 years of expository ministry, dealing with people, dealing with the
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Lord, and so I've entitled tonight, Valuable Lessons I've Learned in 15 Years of Ministry. Now I've even looked around and there have been some of you in ministry for much longer than I have been in ministry.
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I don't claim to be an expert or somehow I know everything, but I've just learned some lessons, some the hard way, some a little easier, and I want to impart some of those because I think it will encourage you and convict you as well, and we'll just cover several tonight and then several next week as well.
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Just some important lessons that I've learned. Number one, no matter what happens, God is worthy to be praised.
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I've learned that over the years, no matter what happens in life, God still deserves our praise.
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Why don't you turn your Bibles to Job chapter one? We live in a fallen world. Bad things happen.
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Did you know Christians die? Christians suffer. There are accidents, there are diseases, there is cancer, and no matter what the faith healers on TV might tell you, we're faith people.
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They're just con artists after your money or power, and I want to make sure as a
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Christian that no matter what happens, even though I might be sad, full of sorrow,
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I might be crying, I want to kiss the rod that God delivers to my soul or to my family members, and it is very, very important.
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One of the main goals of my life is I want to be seen by others as a man who, whether he is getting blessed in beneficial ways or chastened or going through rough times, that I would still speak well of the
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Lord. Job chapter one, you know the passage. I've met a man the last 10 years, and his name is
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Greg Hattaberg, and he's at Dallas Seminary, and listen to this letter he writes before we get into Job.
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My teenage son Luke and I were sitting in the doctor's office when she told Luke, your vision is not good enough to drive.
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The statement hit us like a ton of bricks. Luke had lost visual clarity two years earlier when he began having migraine headaches.
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Two years of doctor's visits had failed to pinpoint a cause or find an effective treatment. The medical explanations were as cloudy as his vision.
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As we sat in the car outside the doctor's office, I held him and we both cried. We did not find explanations we desired from the doctors, but the
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Lord faithfully brought into our lives friends who were involved with a ministry called Twice Blessed. Through this ministry,
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Luke has had an opportunity to express his struggles, God's comfort of joy and peace, and his faith in God's purpose during difficult times.
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Years earlier, I had another doctor's traumatizing word. My wife's double vision was being caused by an aneurysm, a tumor, or multiple sclerosis.
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As a seminary student, I was used to multiple choice questions, but in this case, I wanted a fourth option, none of the above.
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Unfortunately, tests confirmed that Lisa has multiple sclerosis. The MS started out slowly, but eventually became all -consuming.
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It resulted in the loss of Lisa's ability to use her arms and legs. Then it took the toughest one of all, her ability to see.
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Her day is completely at the mercy of others who help. Her bed has replaced the dinner table as the focus of conversation and interaction.
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It has also become the pulpit where, in an unspoken way, she preaches the message of grace, joy, and encouragement.
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The verse that she has held to during this time is Psalm 119 .71, It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn your statutes.
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I am often asked, How do you keep going? The person who wants to know how I cope with having a son who is legally blind, or how
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I am able to care for my wife, who has been bedridden for a number of years. There have been times when the burdens caused me to look down and not up.
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I focused on the weight pressing down on my shoulders and not on the strength that he promised to supply. Yet even in those times, the
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Lord faithfully provided for me through his word, his people, and presence. At the right time, I always seem to receive in the mail a little brown padded envelope from our
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Walmart angel. In the envelope is a short note of encouragement and a gift card to Walmart. While this may not seem like much, it to me represents a kiss of God's love and a reminder that someone cares, and especially that God cares.
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As I've watched Greg over the years, and watched his wife Lisa, she can't see me, but she's always there at the conference.
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I thought, you know, one thing I've never heard from Greg is somehow he's saying something negative about the
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Lord, and he's always wanted to praise Him and speak well of Him. And if you look at Job chapter 1, you'll see the very same thing.
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I could read the whole chapter, but let's just start in verse 13. You're very familiar with it, but I trust that this could be an encouragement to you when you go through hard times, and they'll certainly come soon, that you will praise
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God's name and His attributes. Job 1 .13, now in the day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their older brother's house, a messenger came to Job.
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The oxen were plowing and the donkeys feeding beside them, and the Sabaeans attacked and took them. They also slew the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.
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While he was still speaking, another also came and said, the fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep and the servants and consumed them, and I alone have escaped to tell you.
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While he was still speaking, another also came and said, the Chaldeans formed three bands and made a raid on the camels and took them and slew the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.
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In the third while, while he was still speaking, also another came and said, your sons and your daughters were eating and drinking wine in their older brother's house, and behold, the great wind came from across the wilderness and struck the four corners of the house and it fell on the young people and they died, and I alone have escaped to tell you.
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How would you respond? Then Job arose, tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and what?
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Worshiped. He said, naked I came from my mother's womb and naked
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I shall return now. The Lord Yahweh, the covenant -keeping God, gave and the
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Lord Yahweh, the covenant -keeping God, has taken away. Blessed be the name of the
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Lord. Blessed be all his attributes, his wisdom, his justice, his sovereignty. He is to be blessed, and with a great model for us, verse 22, through all this
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Job did not sin, nor did he blame God. Then you know what happens in chapter two, the wife gives pressure, verse nine, cursed
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God and die. Then in verse 11, the three friends give the pressure. One of the things
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I've learned as I've watched people, and I haven't always done it well, but it's been my desire, is that I want to suffer well and speak well of God at all times.
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When my mother got sick here two and a half years ago, I'll never forget what Scott Ferris said.
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He sits right back there, and he said, Mike, everybody's watching, and you want to make sure you suffer well.
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Suffer well as an act of worship to God. We're underneath the rod of God. We know he's sovereign, and we're in this cursed world, and how do we speak of God?
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I wanted to teach this lesson to my kids, and I thought, how do I teach the lesson to the kids when I'm hurting so bad?
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My mother dies, and I'm there in the room, and I just thought I would just wait for a long time, and the nurses closed the door, and brought in some flowers, and they said, you can stay here for as long as you'd like, and I just thought,
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Lord, I've lost my mother. I just began to weep, and then I thought, you know, Lord, in the midst of all this,
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I don't know all the answers. I don't know all the details, but I want to have my life of sacrifice to you and not speak poorly.
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God, how could you? I mean, what good is that going to do me anyway, right? If you're in a trial, well,
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I'm going to blame God, and how could you? And I just thought, all that I have deserved, and all that I have been given,
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I need to make sure I praise the Lord. And so we went to the mortuary, and the man said, do you want to have an open casket?
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My mom didn't want an open casket, but I wanted an open casket. So I honored what she said, but I told the people to dress my mother up, and then when no one was looking except the family,
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I would bring the family over to the casket. And so my brother said, I don't want to see. My sister said,
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I don't want to see. They said, we don't want our kids to see. But by the time we went to the corner and lifted up the casket, well, one kid saw, and the next kid saw, and then all of a sudden, before you know it, all my kids, all my brother's kids and all my sister's kids are all there around the casket.
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And you already know how strange I am and how weird I am, so this probably will not surprise you. But I wanted my kids to see and say, and I said to them, you know, that's not where grandma is anymore, and she has been saved by God, and she's in the presence of God.
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This is just a shell. And I said, it's okay to touch her. And you know, the kids would touch her, and it would be hard, cold, not responsive.
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You know, you watch someone, and you can kind of see their chest cavity go up and down. And I thought, I am hurting so bad.
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I'm trying to teach the kids at the same time, but I'm trying to let them know that even though we hurt, we still should speak well of God.
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And so, without getting too charismatic on you or anything, I just thought, you know what?
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We just need to sing. That's what we need to do. So I got all the kids around, and of course, you know, the mortuary guy's looking at me like I'm some freak that I am.
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And we got all around, and you know, I'm trying to help the girls now because little Gracie, she was only four at the time, and I said, well, you can feel grandma's hair.
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It was all done up really nicely, and she'd run her fingers through the hair, and then all of a sudden, every other kid, well,
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Gracie did it, then the next three -year -old wanted to do it. And all of a sudden, there's like five kids just touching this dead body, and I thought, some policeman's going to take me away for sure.
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I'm confident of it. But you know, back in the old days, though, grandma would die, and you would just wait a few days, and you'd say your goodbyes, and everybody would be together, and I thought,
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Lord, I want to speak well of you. I praise you that the nurses at the hospital said, you know, we've seen a lot of families lose loved ones, but we've never really seen one like you, and I thought, that's exactly what
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I want. Lord, I want to speak well of you and praise your name even though I'm hurting. So we all got together, and I said, we're going to sing
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Jesus Loves Me, but instead of singing me, we're going to sing Jesus Loves Grandma Carla. And we just began to sing, and we began to cry, and I thought, you know,
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Grandma Evie's always running around saying, you need to make it your choice to rejoice, and I thought, what kind of person suffers and then says, you know, but I'll trust
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God even if you'll kill me, even though he might slay me, Job says. Matter of fact, if you turn to Philippians chapter 4, we can still rejoice even though we suffer.
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We can still have joy in this great God, and others will certainly notice. How can rejoicing be a command?
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Yet it is. And so one of the things that I want to just encourage you to do is when you're hurting, to always speak well of the
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Lord, even though you might not feel like it, even though you don't have any way out. You remember Philippians chapter 4, verse 4,
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Paul in jail, as you know, a prison epistle. And look at verse 4, rejoice in the
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Lord always, again I say, what, Philippians 4. Both commands. Did you know that?
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What kind of command do you think it might be? Do you think it might be once in a while, a point in time, ongoing?
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Any guesses? For you Greek students, what might it be? It's a present imperative, always and forever be glad.
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That's amazing to me that he would command that. Knowing who God is, we can be in a state of well -being, resting with our soul.
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Others are watching you, believers and unbelievers, I have no other option except to say no matter what happens,
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I will praise the Lord and I will trust in Him, even though it might be with a tear in my eye.
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I don't need to understand everything, but I am determined that I will not do what everybody else would do, and that is blame
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God for some kind of sin in the world. Any questions on that?
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As I look around and as I see all of you, you'll have plenty of opportunities in your life to say, you know,
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I'm going to speak well of God, even though it hurts. Number two, the second lesson
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I've learned in ministry, some of these are theological, some of these are practical, I don't really have an order, probably some easier ones for next week, but the second lesson
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I've learned, not just that I want to praise God even when I'm hurting, but number two, God grants comfort, commensurate with our suffering.
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God Himself is our comfort. Why don't you turn to Isaiah chapter 40, situations don't change, diseases don't go away, death is real, yet God is the one who grants us comfort.
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Too often I want my circumstances to change and I want to have an escape hatch, and I want the escape hatch to be in the form of God takes me out of that, versus I'm in that experience and now
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God is having my attention and then my all can be in God Himself. And Isaiah's words of comfort in Isaiah 40 are just great.
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Israel needed a lot of comfort and here we can see the same God of Israel would be our
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God. In Isaiah chapter 40 verse 10, you see the picture of God both of strength and of a tender shepherd.
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Behold, the Lord God will come with might. You can just imagine this picture of the omnipotent
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God with His arm ruling for Him. Behold, His reward is with Him and His recompense before Him.
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But here this mighty, powerful, omnipotent God has other attributes and He comes across here like a shepherd
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He will tend His flock. In His arms He will gather the lambs and carry them in His bosom to bring them close.
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One of the things that I would do with my kids, they'd have a nightmare in the middle of the night and I don't know why it works this way but when the kids have a nightmare and they get up, guess what side of the bed they run to?
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They never run to my side of the bed. Why is that? Scott, same in your life?
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But if they don't come running and they just lay there bawling, then it's my job to get up to go to their room.
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And I figure that's good payback for all those times of nursing and everything else where what am I going to do if a kid is crying and needs milk?
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I really can't do anything. And so off you go into the room and I thought, what do
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I do? How do I hold a kid? What do I say to them? And when kids are little and they can't understand, you can't say, well, you know, that's actually your
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REM sleep. And you have lots of dreams in REM sleep but if you take all your dreams combined in a night, you'll probably only dream for about 30 seconds and it seems like it lasts for a long time but it's just a dream and it's just, you know, some kind of electrons firing based on the input of your last 24 hours.
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This doesn't do it. I mean, they don't understand. So I picked them up and I would hold them really tightly, so tightly that they couldn't get out.
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I mean, they could still breathe but I wanted them to feel strength.
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By the way, why do dads wrestle with their kids? Lots of reasons. But one reason is because I want my kids to know, in their mind,
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I'm the strongest man in the world and they should feel safe. And so I would just bring them really close and I thought, you know what, it still would be good to do something and so I'll sing.
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You might think that's frightening, me singing, but to them it was very comforting and I would hold them really tightly thinking, you know, they're going to feel comfort from that and then
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I would sing the song, Everything's All Right in My Father's House. I'm not going to sing.
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You already know me by now but I still won't do it and I would hold them so close and you notice the text?
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I mean, I remember God is this great, big, powerful, awesome, slay the
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Assyrians with his angels and here in his arm he will gather the lambs and carry them in his bosom.
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He will gently lead the nursing ewes. He's got enough power to get us out of the circumstance and if he leaves us in there, here's how he comforts us.
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And then it says, if Isaiah gives kind of a quiz, how would you answer these questions if you had a quiz?
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Who has measured the waters, verse 12, in the hollow of his hand? Anybody? Well, there's only one answer.
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Who has marked off heavens by the span? Who has calculated the dust of the earth by measure?
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Who has weighed the mountains in a balance? Here's Everest and here's
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K2 and here's Mount Rainier and here's Mount Washington over here and how does that kind of balance up?
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I mean, there's just grandeur of this great God. And who has measured the hills in a pair of scales?
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Answer we know is the Lord. This is the God who is reigning over our situation and our circumstance and whether it was the
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Babylonians who were attacking Israelites or our situation, here's this great God. There's more questions, verse 13.
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Who has directed the spirit of the Lord or has his counselor informed him? With whom did he consult and who gave him understanding?
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Who taught him in the path of justice and taught him knowledge and informed him of the way of understanding? God, in other words, is more wise than all your problems.
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He understands it all. He's bigger than your problems. And here's a problem for Israel and how does
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God describe the problem? Behold, the nations are like a drop in the bucket.
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Okay, so you got...they're like a drop in the bucket. Let's just imagine we've got a 55 -gallon drum bucket and it's one drop.
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How big is one drop out of a 55 -gallon drum? Well, it's pretty little.
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So the problem of these raiders, these marauders who are attacking
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Israel, it's like a drop in a bucket. But then he makes it even smaller. They're regarded as a speck of dust on the scale.
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So now we go from a drop to a speck of dust on a scales. When you go and buy food at the produce, what do you do?
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When...not food at the produce, but food at the supermarket and they bring across the papayas and they set the papayas down, what do you do?
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You kind of...you get your brush out a little bit and go, excuse me, before you weigh that, I see a little bit of dust on there and I've got to get that off because you might, you know, miscalculate and I don't want to have to pay for the dust.
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So you got a drop and then it goes down to a speck of dust. Behold, he lifts up islands like fine dust.
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And then even smaller, verse 17, all the nations are as nothing before him. The drop, the dust, the fine dust, nothing.
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They are nothing before him. And then it even gets a little smaller. You go from a drop to dust, to fine dust, to nothing, they are regarded by God as less than what?
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Nothing. So you've got the drop, you've got the dust, you've got the fine dust, you've got nothing, they're less than nothing.
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And when it comes to problems, when it comes to situations, when it comes to issues, here's this great God over the major problems, and to him, they're like nothing.
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So verse 18, it says, to whom then will you liken God? This great God. By the way, why is all this written?
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I forgot to tell you. I forgot to tell you on purpose. Go back to the very first verse of Isaiah 40.
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And what's the first verse of Isaiah 40? What is it intended to do? This whole chapter has one theme.
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It has a purpose. It is driving the people of Jerusalem, specifically
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Judah, to something. And what are the first three words? Comfort, oh, comfort.
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I'm going to show you this great God who is bigger than your problems. Your problems don't go away. You still might not have a job, you still might have that health thing, but I'm going to comfort you as I speak of God.
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And then he says in verse 21, I love all the questions. Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been declared to you from the beginning?
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Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth? It is he who sits above the circle of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers who stretches out the heavens like a curtain and spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.
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Their problem was these rulers. He is he, it is who reduces rulers to nothing, who makes the judges of the earth meaningless.
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Verse 25, to whom then will you liken me that I would be his equal, says the Holy One. God is full of power.
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Listen to this. Verse 26, lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars.
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The one who leads forth their host by number, he calls them all by name. Because of the greatness of his might and the strength of his power, not one of them is missing.
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Is that tonight or is it last night, the comet deal? Tonight. Here's my encouragement for you or here's my exhortation.
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If you've got so many problems in life that you can't sleep, well, at least get out of your house and go lay out there tonight.
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Put the ski repellent, the mosquito repellent, I couldn't think this morning,
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I can't think tonight. Put the mosquito repellent, all of you, and lay there with the blanket and look up and see these great stars and the comets and say, you know, this is the powerful
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God that created all these things with the word. He's omniscient, he knows my problems, he didn't learn by accident and he knows all about it and by his perfect wisdom he has me right where I am right now and I was just going to say,
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God, I'll praise you anyway and you will have to be my comfort. Verse 28, he doesn't become weary or tired, his understanding is inscrutable and he gives strength to the weary.
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What a great passage. All right, number three, this one's a little bit easier maybe, but cuts to the heart.
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The third thing I've learned in ministry that I want to impart to you, feelings can get you into a lot of trouble.
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Feelings can get you into a lot of trouble. I'm in California and I'm renting a van, true story, two weeks ago, and a bee came, no, just kidding, and I'm there in Scotts Valley at the
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Hertz rental car and I get in the van for a week. He said, well, would you like any insurance with that rental van?
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I said, you know, I think I'll take the insurance that's $11 a day that's walk away. So if I get an accident because a bee drives in the car or something,
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I can just hand over the keys and walk away, it's not on my insurance or anything, I'll take the walk away stuff for $10 a day.
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He said, okay, he wrote me up. And then they said this, sure you don't want the liability?
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No thanks. How do you feel about having your family not covered with liability?
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It's exactly what they said. I said, well, how do I feel? I don't feel like that would be very good, but I think
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I'm covered by my original auto insurance back in Massachusetts. So although I feel like I want to get the insurance because of what corporate
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America has told you to tell me as a sales rep, I think it would be wisest for me not to spend $18 a day for your liability.
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That's how I feel about it. And she looked at me like the people at the mortuary did.
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Here is this crazy man. I mean, this is a world governed by feelings.
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And I would say up front, feelings are good. Feelings are God given, but there's a right order.
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And if you'll turn to Proverbs 29, 18, this verse has held me in good stead over the years. And we have to remember that we can't trust ourselves.
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We have to remember that our hearts are what? A great compass, as the world would say.
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Not. They are desperately wicked. We can't know them. And that we need to be careful because some days, if you go in your feelings, you'll say,
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I don't feel married. I feel like God wants me to be happy and I can get a divorce. All these kind of things.
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The world is selling you big time. Trust your feelings. Go with your heart. How many
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Disney movies have you watched where it's like, you know, with some kind of, you know, singing chorus, trust in your heart and go by your feelings.
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Our feelings are fleeting. They're tainted. They change with circumstances and we have to be very careful.
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As a matter of fact, when I talk to people, they're always saying, well, I feel this and I feel that. And when I say to somebody,
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I feel, I always say, I'm going to use this word on purpose. Here's what I feel. The Proverbs 29, 18, it shows us where feelings and blessing comes and feelings should be the caboose.
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As you've heard me preach for 10 years here, happy is he who keeps the law. I think feelings are great.
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I think feelings of guilt are excellent, but they follow our actions. So negatively, we sin, we feel bad.
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Negatively, we don't handle a circumstance right. We feel depressed. Negatively, we're not trusting
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God with our health and with our wife and kids. We feel anxious. And so God, as a good
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God, and as you take your finger and touch your finger to a hot burning stove, what do you immediately do?
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Yow! It hurts. And if it doesn't, if you don't do that, something's either wrong with the stove or you're a leper, one of the two, and you have no nerve endings in the bottom of your finger.
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That's the goodness of God. Do you ever say to yourself, you know, I'm so mad at God that he gave me nerve endings.
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I almost had a bee come in, but I'm going to hold off. They're good, but they are followers.
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They're not drivers. They're not the engine. And so too with good things.
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There have been, I would say a hundred times I've driven out of this parking lot in 10 years, and I have felt kind of bad, crabby, down, depressed, not thinking properly.
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And I say to myself, hmm, I don't feel too good. And I'm not talking about, well, you know,
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I haven't gotten enough sleep or I've got some headache. I'm saying not walking in the spirit.
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And I have to go back and say, you know, the world says if it feels good, then what?
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Do it. And after you do it, then maybe think about it a little bit. So the world says feel, do, think.
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And like most things in life, what the world says, you just pick the opposite and it's biblical. And God says,
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I want you to think, then I want you to do, and then I will reward you with the right feelings.
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And so I drive out of here thinking, I'm not feeling the best and I, you know, how can
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I be out here in the middle of Timbuk3 and how, you know, a bunch of New Englanders and, you know,
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Alfred Omega and Duncan Donutsville and all these people, I'm just kidding. I was gone for two weeks and didn't suffer withdrawals from Dunkin' Donuts one single time, enjoying
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Pete's coffee the whole time thinking, all right. But anyway, I've just had a bad attitude. And so I say to myself, self, you are a big idiot.
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Is that okay to say to yourself? I do. Self, you are stupid.
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Is that okay to say, young people? Don't you call me stupid. Don't call your dad stupid. But if you call yourself stupid, how about,
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Mike, you're so foolish. You feel bad because back up a little bit.
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You've been doing the wrong things and you've been thinking the wrong things. You think you're in ministry for yourself, you're here for others.
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You think you're in ministry for yourself, you're here for the glory of God. Think properly, do the right thing.
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And like a caboose of feelings, a proper feelings will follow. The next time you feel down, depressed, crabby, whatever your code word is for that,
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I challenge you to back up in your life and say, you know, I haven't been spending time in the Word. I haven't been serving others.
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I haven't been in prayer. No wonder I feel bad. That's why it's such a tricky thing to then somehow drink a quart of Jack Daniels so you don't feel bad.
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Friends, God sometimes wants you to feel bad. Now, I don't think that many people around here drink a quart of Jack Daniels, but whether it's drugs or anything else, we're supposed to feel bad sometimes.
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You're supposed to feel your finger on that hot burning stove. Ow, I feel bad. Huh? What should
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I do? Well, I know what I'll do. I'll get together with a group who feels bad too and we'll all sit around and say, hi, my name's
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Mike and I feel bad and I have a disease and I have a disease of feeling bad.
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Then I would say to that person, read the Proverbs and the Proverbs writer, Solomon, say that's foolish.
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When you feel good, you can back up and say, you know, God has blessed me. By the way, where's
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John Makarovsky? John, how'd you feel today after you brought Joyce here? Just good?
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Great. Okay. Because after you serve, you feel good. You say, you know, God, I've had an opportunity to serve.
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By the way, somebody came up to me today and said, I was the cause of your sermon illustration. What do you mean?
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They said, I was the one who was supposed to pick up Joyce this morning and gave the opportunity for John to go and serve.
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Okay. Fine. I hope he felt really bad. When I do counseling in my study, when
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I do marriage counseling, you think, how do I feel? And you look at that and say, that is the result.
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That is what has happened based on what I've done. And you can still have joy, even though everything's going upside down and it's all wrong.
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You just back up and say, the world says, feel, do, think, and I need to think, do, and feel.
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And if I feel good, God has blessed me and rewarded me with feelings because I have, by the grace of God, obeyed
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Him. And if I feel bad, I should just back up and say, Lord, I haven't thought about this properly. I'm going to repent.
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I want to think differently. Please forgive me. I'm all about feelings and I don't want to be that way. And like Cain was told by God, if you do well, will not your countenance be what?
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Lifted up. I like the little poem, three men went up on top of the wall feeling faith and fact.
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Feeling had an awful fall and faith was taken back. Faith was so close to feeling that when he stumbled, faith stumbled and fell too.
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But fact remained and held faith up and that helped feeling too. Luther said it better, feelings come and feelings go and feelings are deceiving.
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My warrant is the word of God. Not else is worth believing. Friends, I'll go so far to say that if it wasn't for the fact that Jesus, Paul, Peter, and John, and Daniel taught hell,
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I wouldn't believe it. Can you imagine eternal hell? How can someone be punished forever?
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I understand theology. I've taught it all. I've read Blanchard's book. I get it. But I have to submit my feelings to the word of God because I can't trust myself and that's why
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God has given me revelation, scripture. I was reading this afternoon on the internet, the
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Lutherans were debating homosexual clergy. Note to self, when the debate begins, it's already over.
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When somebody says, you know, we need to debate whether women should be pastors or not. We should debate whether there should be homosexual Christian pastors.
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When the debate starts, it's over. Where's the debate? I have homosexual friends and how can
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I feel like, you know, they're going to go to hell? Well, I have to submit myself to the word of God. By the way,
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I think this whole feeling thing is especially important to think about when we're married or when we have responsibilities at the church or at work.
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You don't feel like you're married or you don't feel like you want to serve. Newspaper columnist and minister
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George Crane talked about a wife who hated her husband.
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What was his advice? If you met somebody who was a Christian and she said, I hate my husband, what advice would you give her?
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She said, I feel hatred for my husband. I don't like him and I don't care for him and I feel like, you know,
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I just want him out. What would you say? Well, that's good.
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This particular person said to minister Crane, before I divorce him,
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I'm going to hurt him bad. So Dr. Crane said, you know what?
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Here's what I want you to do. You've all heard this before, but it goes perfectly with this feeling. Go home and act as if you really love your husband.
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Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be kind, considerate, and generous as possible.
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Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him, make him believe you love him. And after you've convinced him of your undying love and you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb.
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Tell him you're getting a divorce. That will really hurt him. And the account says, with revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, beautiful, will he ever be surprised?
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So for two months, she acted as if, showing kindness, love, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing.
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She didn't come back. Dr. Crane called, are you ready now to go through with the divorce?
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Divorce, she exclaimed, never. I discovered I really do love him. Actions, thinking properly, changing the feelings.
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And so when people say, well, I'm not in love with my wife anymore, well, then begin to think biblically about that love, begin to think about your promises on the wedding day that you gave before God and others and that woman, and then begin to act on those with love, and then
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God will reward you with what? The commensurate feelings. Now you say, well, you know, I did it for an hour and God never gave me the feelings.
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Well, it's taken a long time for you to lose those, and habits take six weeks, seven weeks, eight weeks.
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And so begin daily to show love to your spouse, and God will give you those warm fuzzies that you are yearning for.
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Questions about feeling. You know, some of the things, if you ever say, good luck, pastor, you know how
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I hate that and I always pretend like I'm deaf when you say that? I go, what? Good luck.
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Pardon me? Good luck, I said. And I always play that. You can also know that whenever you say to me,
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I feel such and such that I'll probably give you the look, not because I'm trying to be mean, not because I want to correct every one of your theological points, although I'm tempted, but I want to do it because I want you to think.
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I don't want you to feel. I think this. Any questions about that?
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Proverbs 29, 18. Genesis 4 talks about Cain's countenance falling after he would do that.
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Wrong thing. All right. Let's see, what else do I have? I have a bunch, and I might just go straight to the end and save these for next week.
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Let's do a couple fast ones, maybe, allegedly. All right.
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With the suffering theme, you know, I want to expand that next week.
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See, in the morning, like this morning when I couldn't figure out how to close my sermon, I just kept talking. But at night, and I don't know how to go to the next point,
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I could just kind of wait a second and think, all right, let's do one last one.
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I feel like I want to do two, but I think I should do one. Pardon me?
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Let's go to... Let's see. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Something I've learned in ministry, number...
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What am I? What number am I? Four. Number four. I am my worst enemy.
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Let's go to James, please. I am my worst enemy. Friends, it's not the world that's your worst enemy.
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It's not Satan who's your worst enemy. It is not somebody in church. It is not, you know, your wife or anybody else.
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It is you. And James chapter one talks about that some.
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Years ago, it seemed like Satan was being blamed for everything. How many people grew up in the era of Flip Wilson?
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I remember sitting watching that black and white television, watching Flip Wilson, and watching
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Bill Cosby, and watching Lawrence Welk, and watching Disney on Sunday night, and Joey's looking at me like I have no idea who these people are.
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I remember watching All Star Wrestling where they would sell Geritol, which is nothing but a few vitamins and a bunch of caffeine.
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I mean, that's how far I go back. Pardon me? And a little alcohol.
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That's right. I feel like this sermon's getting away from me.
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And people would blame Satan for drunkenness. I have a demon of drunkenness.
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People would blame Satan for post -nasal drip, I heard. I kid you not,
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I have the demon of post -nasal drip. I have the demon of B attacks.
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I mean, the list goes on and on and on. Friends, if you diagnose a problem incorrectly, then you don't have the right solution.
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I mean, just think about it. We know the end of the story, but if we go back to Job chapter 1,
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Job, true or false, heard the conversation between God and Satan, and understood that God was allowing
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Satan to inflict him with all kinds of trouble. He didn't know.
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Can you imagine Job being on TBN today and down at the Worcester Auditorium Convention Center, somehow knowing that this is
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Satan, and Job rebuking Satan? Can you imagine?
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What if God is using Satan for our good? Matter of fact, that's how he uses
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Satan. I never say to myself, you know what, I think Satan's after me. I'm so powerful in the evangelical world, he's probably got to be after me.
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Because when I talk to somebody else and they go, you know, Satan's after me, I think, man, I want your autograph.
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Because Satan is finite, and you live in Clinton, and Satan's after you!
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I mean, I'm just shocked, I've never met anybody, you know, Billy Graham or John MacArthur or Al Mohler, you know, maybe, but I thought he was over there controlling, you know,
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Mormonism or Jehovah's Witnesses or somehow Seventh -day Adventism or something, but Satan is after you,
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I want your autograph. Even if God is using
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Satan, or even if God is using demons, we have to remember that at the end of the day, if we have sinned, thought incorrectly about God, done something less than obedience, then when we go to God in confession, we can come to God in confession and say, you know,
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God, you have saved me and redeemed me and Christ has paid for these sins, but now I would ask for cleansing,
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I want to confess my sin and forsake my sin, I'd like to have you grant me mercy, as Proverbs 28 says, and I will take full ownership for what
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I have done. We can't blame Satan.
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We can't blame God. Oh God, you're providentially making me do it, it's like the, you know, the
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Arminian and the Calvinist both fall down the steps, and one man falls down the steps and, you know, the
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Arminian thinks it's more of an accident and the Calvinist who falls down the steps says, you know, I'm glad I got that over, you know, it's kind of like, what do you do?
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No, indirectly somehow blaming God, and if we're not careful, we can be tricked.
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You notice in chapter one, verses 13, 14, 15, it talks about how we are enticed and how we sin, and what does it say in verse 16, before I develop the passage a little bit, what does it say in verse 16?
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Why would he write that? Why would he say, don't be deceived, my brethren, when he's talking about this very point?
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Because it is what? Easy to be deceived.
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It's my environment, it's my circumstances, it's that wife you gave me, it's that Satan, it's the demon of lust.
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It's easy to be deceived. Do not be deceived, so that means to tell me that my propensity and my bent because of the fall is to blame others, yes?
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Do you blame other people? I do. And so that shows me that I'm fallen.
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Go back to the garden, what did Adam do right away? The woman you gave me, when he was not being a leader, and Adam wasn't deceived,
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Eve was deceived, and Adam said, you know what, I know full well what is going to happen, and I will do it anyway.
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And so we have to be very careful, whether it's blaming God or blaming Satan, we need to take ownership.
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And if you look at James 1 .13, let no one say when he's tempted, I am being tempted by God. God cannot be tempted by evil, and he himself emphatically does not tempt anyone.
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Instead, verse 14, here's the right diagnosis so we can have the right solution.
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But each one is tempted when he's carried away and enticed, kind of fishing language for a bait, you can't see the hook but you can see the bait, enticed by his own what?
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Lust. Nip it in the bud early because verse 15, then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.
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Do not be deceived. So one thing I've noticed, as much as I want to blame other people,
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I just need to take ownership in my own life when it comes to sin, and if you'll go to Proverbs 28, last verse we're going to look up today, you'll see the wonderful refreshment and the wonderful forgiveness found in Christ Jesus when we just own up to it.
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You probably even have kids, and if a kid comes and tries to lie his way out of something, you're going to treat him differently if he just owns up and confesses.
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And Proverbs 28 .13 is one of those counseling verses of all time, and I've had many people even try to memorize this verse to try to help them.
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And when we take ownership, here's what happens. Proverbs 28 .13, he who conceals his transgressions,
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I've got a sickness, I've got a disease, I've got some kind of disorder. I mean, I'll never forget it when a guy down in Worcester called me and he said, you know, you're that preacher.
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I mean, come to your church and you tell me that drunkenness is a sin. Yeah, I said that.
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And he said, you know, I want you to come meet with my AA group because we teach that drunkenness is a disease, and technically it's an allergy.
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An allergy? I know, you want to laugh, I mean, drunkenness is an allergy.
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And I said, well, here's the problem. There's no mercy for you then.
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There's no compassion for you until you take ownership, because look at what happens here in the text.
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He who conceals his transgression, that's exactly what drunkenness is, is a transgression. Here's the line, don't cross it, and you go, in your face,
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God, I will anyway, will not prosper. But he who confesses, tell me what the
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Greek word to confess means, anyone? Agree with?
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God, here's what you say about this sin, I say the same thing, I own up to it, I take full responsibility,
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I'm not blaming anybody, I don't have my fingers tied behind my back, it's not Satan or anybody else. He who confesses and forsakes,
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God, I'm turning from it, I hate it, I despise it, will find compassion.
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How many people have a translation that say mercy? So you say, I'm struggling,
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I've got some problem, I am the problem, and what I'm going to do is I'm not going to blame anyone,
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I am going to take ownership. Let me make it really personal, and I can make it more personal because I'm a husband.
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Husbands, if you ever sinned against your wife, I, when I sin against Kim, I want to say, honey,
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I sinned against you, and now let me tell you why.
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That's how I do it, unless I can override my mind. I feel like I want to say, honey,
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I've sinned against you, and let me tell you all the reasons. You don't know how difficult it's been at work, and how Pastor Steve is so difficult to work with.
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I'm just kidding. It's easy to talk about people when they're not around, right?
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Pastor Dave is such a taskmaster. I have all these things, and now let's just make it really personal.
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I didn't get much sleep last night. I don't feel good.
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I'm sick. Friends, if we are told to love our spouses, and we do less than that, and we sin against them, no matter what the extenuating circumstances are,
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James 1 says it's our own lust that made us do that. So instead of saying, I apologize, here's my reason, instead of saying,
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I'm sorry, you don't say you're sorry to your wife unless you step on her foot or something, but if you've sinned against her, forget
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I apologize, that's stating reason. Forget I'm sorry. Why don't you just look your wife in the eye, and remember
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Proverbs 28, and say, honey, I know I'm supposed to love you and think of you first.
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I'm selfish. I'm prideful, and I hate it when I am. I don't like myself when
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I'm like this. I know I've sinned against you, and I'm asking for your forgiveness. Will you forgive my sin?
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And those kind of people get what? Compassion and mercy.
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And even if your wife doesn't give you that forgiveness, our compassion, our mercy, who does?
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The Lord. So we don't need to be running around, having all these kind of little games we play.
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You say to your spouse, do you think you have it in your heart to forgive me? I've sinned against you, and I've sinned against God.
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I've already asked God to forgive me, and now I'm asking you, will you forgive me? So much better then, let me tell you all the reasons why
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I was a numbskull today. And then if your wife says, you know, you've been doing that so much,
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I can't forgive you until you change your behavior. You know you've already got mercy granted from God.
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And then maybe at another time, you could help her understand forgiveness, and is it conditional or is it not?
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James 1 teaches me that I am my worst enemy, and that when people have their lives falling apart and walk into my office and say,
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I own my problems, I want to say the floodgate of mercy is for you. When people walk in and they've got 50 ,000 reasons why they get the short end of the stick because of other people, what they've done,
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I need to address this issue right away. Questions about that?
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All right, well, we've got a bunch for next week. Just some things that I wanted to get off my chest and felt like I wanted to talk to you about tonight, and hopefully they would encourage you.
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Well, I am glad that we have a forgiving
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Savior. Do you know in the pastoral epistles, God is often called God our Savior?
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Why do you think pastors need to know that God is a saving God by nature? Any ideas?
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Why would it be important to write to Timothy and to Titus and say, God our Savior? Why would pastors need to know that?
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Why would a congregation need to know that? Because you deal with sinners. You're a sinner, meaning you, the pastor, me, and the people you deal with.
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And I am so thankful that God's word is powerful enough to work in the hearts of sinners because God is by nature a
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Savior. Let me just give you a little homework that has nothing to do with this. Why don't you pray this week for about three or four of your close friends and family members that God would do something great, and then anticipate that He might do that because I think
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He actually has enough power to save your friends, don't you, and neighbors? If you're like me,
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I prayed for 10 years that my grandparents would be saved, and you know what? I don't think they were ever saved.
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It goes to show you God can't be trusted. I mean, no. God can save anybody at any time.
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This morning we prayed in the prayer room at 830 that through the preaching of the word that God would somehow take someone out of darkness and place them into light, that the preaching of the word of a fallible man preaching the word of God, God is a great saving
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God. And I am glad I get to serve Him here with you. Let's just bow in prayer.
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Father, thank You for our time. Thank You that You give us comfort. You give us Scripture so we might know what to do.
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And Lord, we would just ask that You'd help us to be good stewards of what we've learned and that we might put into practice what we've been taught.
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And Lord, there are many people here who have been serving You for five times as long as I have, and yet they're not up here preaching.
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We just all want to learn, and we would all say, Lord, that we have not arrived, but we stand before You as having arrived, as it were, because we are in Christ Jesus, who is our ransom and our