Open Borders October Episode 02: Dad Jokes!

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00:05

Welcome back to Open Borders October in our 2023 First Annual Dad Joke Championship.

00:11

Today we have two formidable competitors.

00:15

Uncle Rich has been a dad for 16 years and has four children.

00:19

Today he's rocking his best dad outfit, including his Sketchers Work hiking boots, his printed dad t-shirt, and Terminator sunglasses.

00:28

After today's competition, the question is, will he be back? Our second competitor is Keith Foskey, also known as the Harbor Freight Doug Wilson.

00:37

He's been a dad for 18 years and has six children.

00:41

He's doing his best dad youth pastor impression with his Crocs with black socks, oversized flannel, ironic printed t-shirt, and What's the Problem Officer sunglasses.

00:51

Will his jokes arrest the competition? We will find out today on Open Borders October.

01:01

What is Batman's favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

01:13

Grapefruit! That wasn't funny.

01:16

I don't know why I'm laughing.

01:17

That wasn't funny.

01:19

Okay, alright, alright, alright, alright.

01:21

My camouflaged jacket was stolen by a guy with no legs.

01:26

He can hide, but he can't run.

01:31

That was my best joke and I ruined it.

01:34

I'll try it again.

01:36

He can hide, but he can't run.

01:39

I just think it's so funny.

01:42

I can't believe I ruined it.

01:43

I'm not denying it's funny, but I'm trying to win a competition here.

01:45

Okay, alright, I just, I don't know why your face is killing me.

01:49

Okay.

01:50

What do you call a French man wearing sandals? Philippe Fallop.

01:58

I'm thinking of starting a dating service in Prague.

02:01

It's called Checkmate.

02:04

Why are there Pop-Tarts, but not Mom-Tarts? Is this a pastryarchy? Now, that one I like.

02:11

I actually like that, the pastryarchy.

02:13

I got that.

02:15

What was Martin Luther's catchphrase? Nailed it.

02:20

That's appropriate for October.

02:22

What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ton.

02:27

You're so pleased with that one.

02:29

You are, you're like really happy.

02:30

That one pleased you.

02:32

I like that it pleases you.

02:35

What do you call a marathon for pastors? I don't know.

02:40

A rev run.

02:44

Where does a sheep get his hair cut? At the bye-bye shop.

02:50

You're so excited to say that.

02:53

A little bit.

02:55

If a cow doesn't produce, do you call it a milk dud or an utter failure? Speaking of cows, why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lack toes.

03:09

Yeah, I know that joke was utterly useless.

03:12

Nice.

03:13

You didn't find it amusing.

03:15

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

03:22

Knock, knock.

03:23

Who's there? Not Susie.

03:27

All right, guys, you get to be the judge.

03:30

Who had the best dad jokes, me or Uncle Rich? Leave your answer in the comments below.

03:35

Also, if you want, leave us your favorite dad joke.

03:38

And don't forget to be on the lookout for more Open Borders October videos, which are coming soon.

03:48

Do you have any jokes that you love, like real jokes? Oh, man, there was a time when I did, but I can't even remember what they are now.

03:57

Because I'm doing a stand-up act.

03:58

Oh, I forgot about that.

04:00

November 4th.

04:02

And a lot of, like, little humorous observations.

04:07

This is going to be in the show.

04:09

My daughter and I were talking the other day about the fact that somebody won the lottery, and it was $1.5 billion.

04:15

And she looked at me and she said, Daddy, if I won $1.5 billion, I'd pay off your house.

04:23

And I said, Baby, I live in a double-wide.

04:28

I said, If you win over $1 billion, I better not live in a house that once had wheels.