Children Choosing

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In light of how you have been forgiven, how should you forgive? Pastor Mike and Tuesday Guy respond to an email today asking: "how much input should children have in choosing a church?" What is the role of the husband and wife in choosing a church? Listen in to find out!

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Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.
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No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the apostle
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Paul said, "'But we did not yield in subjection to them "'for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel "'would remain with you.'"
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In short, if you like smooth, watered -down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn't for you.
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By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes as we're called by the divine trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her king.
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Here's our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth. Welcome to No Compromise Radio. I almost said the
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Bethlehem Bible Church, Steve. Did you? Yes. But you didn't. No, and you got some cool new glasses on.
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I like those. Do those make you more theologically insightful? Well, they told me that if I wore these glasses,
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I would have the mind of Mike. Well, then we're all hopeful for glory.
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We have a little tagline at this show, and it's always biblical, always provocative, always in that order.
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Steve, most people seem to like the show, but some don't. How do you explain that? How does that work?
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Well, you know, it's the old four out of five doctors. Or four out of five dentists recommend
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Trident to their dentists who chew gum. Four out of five dentists recommend No Compromise Radio to their listeners who listen to our podcast.
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I think it was about 1970, and there was a huge ad blitz, and it was 10 ,000 doctors have stopped smoking.
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You can, too. And so I would make about 100 of those little pieces of paper and put them in my dad's ashtray, and the other ashtrays in the house, one after another after another, because I wanted him to quit smoking.
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How did that work? He did. First he got bugged, told me not to do it anymore, but eventually he quit smoking.
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See, I wish I'd thought of that. You know, my dad quit smoking, but it wasn't until he was like in his,
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I think his early 50s or something like that. And he's just so funny, because he's just like, I just decided I wasn't gonna smoke anymore, and I stopped, just like that.
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I mean, it was just like one day. I mean, from, you know, two, three packs a day to zero.
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Steve, tell us a little bit about life, ministry, pastoring.
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What's new with you? Well, I'm looking something up. This is all to say I gotta look something up. Well, let's see.
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What's new with me? I'm going to California next week, doing a discernment conference, which will be long over by the time you get to it.
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Yeah, it was a great conference. I heard attendance was up over when I was there, and so was giving.
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Millions of people. Yeah, so let's see what else is new. My brother's in town, a couple of my nieces, and one nephew, and my sister -in -law, so that's neat.
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Okay, I think this will be - I have a new daughter -in -law, too. Nice, nice. I think the people would like this.
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Some who want more Tuesday Guy. Tell us about your series in Sunday school.
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We have the adult Sunday school classes here. I know Sunday school's unbiblical, right? It's not in the Bible. But you've been teaching a series, so tell me about the series.
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Well, I called it Enemies Within the Walls, and the overarching idea was that there are behaviors and attitudes that afflict the church, but they don't just afflict the church.
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They afflict us in our homes and even in our workplaces, and so we're talking about things like gossip and slander and a lack of love and a lack of bridling our tongues and a lot of lackings, failures, bad behaviors, and I started the series by just describing them as Trojan horses.
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There are things that are within the church, and we just tend to ignore them, and then all of a sudden, the hatch is opened and the enemy soldiers come out and we've got major problems at the church, and so I think it's had a good impact on those who have been there, and I know
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I've been encouraged by the response to it. Well, if you wanna listen to those, you can go to bbcchurch .org,
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bbcchurch .org, and find those messages. Sounds like it could be a sequel to Things That Go Bump in the
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Church. Well, I don't know, but yeah, I've been thinking about writing a book about it because it's just so, several people have told me how it's just impacted them.
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I just remember, the number one thing that really got me going about this, a lack of forgiveness, gossip, slander, all these kind of things, and it's because people just think they have a right to do certain things.
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Like one person said to me, well, it's not gossip if it's true, and I just looked at him and I go, and I gave him the example.
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Well, let's say I found out that someone in your family had become pregnant or had caused someone to get pregnant.
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Then I went around the church and told everybody, well, it would be true. Would it be gossip? And they said, well, of course. And I go, okay, it's true, but it's still gossip.
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Why is that? So we talked about edifying language and all these kind of things, and it's just, they should be basic things for a
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Christian, the way we ought to behave, but we don't think about that, and it's especially true in light of the cross.
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Forgiveness, in light of you being forgiven, how should you forgive? Well, people don't want to forgive that way.
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They want to hold a grudge. And I'm just going, okay, well, we just need to think more biblically,
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Christianly, godly, dare I say. Gospel -centeredly. Yes. But Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the
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Lord, went to a high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found anyone belonging to the way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.
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Now, as he went on his way, he approached Damascus and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him and falling to the ground, he heard a voice saying to him,
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Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? And he said, who are you, Lord? And he said,
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I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. And Steve, what's so sad, in my opinion, is when people try to attack the church, they attack people within the church, they attack the church leadership, they're persecuting
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Jesus himself. And you know, that's what really got me going. You know,
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I said, I had a different verse to kind of get to the same place, but it was Matthew 16, 18,
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Jesus says, upon this rock, I will build my church. And I said, we got people who are busy trying to unbuild the church.
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They call themselves Christians, and yet, you know, let's just, for the sake of visual imagery, the
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Lord's placing a brick here and then they're taking a brick off somewhere else, you know, and you just go, stop that.
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As Christians, we shouldn't be working against Christ, right? People love to watch the
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TV demonstrations, or they even attend in person, the demolition of buildings, you know, and they have these special engineers who strategically place dynamite and other explosive devices just at the right spot so the whole thing caves inwardly instead of outwardly, or you watch some of those high -rises in a city and they just knock them down and nobody gets hurt, except this kind of destruction, people do get hurt.
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Oh, it causes a lot of problems, you know? I mean, what kind of church body,
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I mean, this happens all over the place, I'm sure, but what kind of church body is it when you can show up on Sunday and there are people you don't want to see in your church, or there are people you can't talk with in your church?
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What kind of nonsense is that? And it's because of a lack of forgiveness, it's because of gossip, it's because of all these things that really, not only should we have given up, humanly speaking, in high school, but as Christians, how much more?
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In light of the cross, in light of all the sins that were nailed to the cross on our behalf, how should we treat one another?
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And we just, somehow we just lose track of that. See, that's why I only go to the first service, not the second service.
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Ha ha ha, because there are people you don't want to see in the second service? Okay. Ha ha ha, that thing that you thought you saw up on the platform behind the pulpit is really a holograph.
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Oh, nice. Help me, Obi -Wan, you're my only hope. Steve, here's what I was looking for when you were talking about cigarettes.
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Weren't you talking about cigarettes just a second ago and smoke? Yeah, I think you started it, but it's okay. Okay, I found this interesting fact out since we are celebrating
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Easter, Resurrection Sunday, this coming Sunday, even though this is a tape delay, of course, in Papua New Guinea.
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In Papua New Guinea, they have special traditions. So in America, we have all kinds of Easter, Resurrection.
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The kids get to smoke a cigarette. So, yeah, watch this. Ha ha ha. So, you know, we have here in America, Peeps and Reese's peanut butter eggs and all kinds of things, dying eggs.
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Do you die eggs? Uh, I don't think we've done that for a number of years. Is that like sinful to get a paused egg die with some vinegar or something?
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No. So, anyway, we have our traditions. And of course, we like traditions that makes the world go round and to each his own, as my father would say.
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And so what happens instead of eating like a chocolate bunny or something like that? Hollow ones are always bad.
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Plus milk chocolate never did anything for me. No. It's a waste of calories. I need some kind of darker chocolate.
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So you have trees outside in Papua New Guinea and they're decorated.
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And so how do you decorate a tree in honor of the resurrection? Well, in Papua New Guinea, they decorate them with sticks of tobacco and cigarettes.
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Mm. And this is according to one website. It says in bizarre Easter traditions, following the
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Easter Sunday services, cigarettes are handed out and everyone lights up. Oy, the
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American Cancer Society does not approve of that service. You know, I will say that I do like unsmoked tobacco.
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It smells grand. It does. Actually, my wife and I were at the store the other day at TJ Maxx and they have the home goods section and we got a candle and it was a tobacco and oak smell.
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And so it's not burnt tobacco. It's just real tobacco smell. I quite like it. Can you imagine a candle that gives off burnt cigarette smell?
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I'd just be like, what kind of? So what we do is when - Our worst seller ever. Yeah, when the legalists come over and the fundamentalists come over, we light up the tobacco oak candle.
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Is that tobacco I smell? Pastor. Steve, the other one that I found interesting, in New Zealand, what kind of tradition do they have?
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I mean, in America, the girls get the, you know, the little girls get the nice pretty dresses. I happen to know this one.
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Shiny shoes. What's the New Zealand tradition? They get some pause dye and they dip kiwi fruit in them and -
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And then the outside is the same color as the inside. Yes, it's wonderful. So New Zealanders, they say here's a prize and they pay in New Zealand money, of course, not
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American dollars. Whoever kills the most bunnies wins the 3 ,500
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New Zealand dollar prize on Sunday morning, Easter Sunday. That's not funny.
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That's sick. That's really, that's sad. Yeah, to each their own. Yeah. All right,
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I have an email here and it says, you need to do a show about why it's a bad idea to attend a church just because your kids like to go there.
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So let's talk a little bit about that. It doesn't have to be a whole show, but the kids wanna go to a certain church and so let's go to a church.
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Now, there are probably, Steve, times where children, let's say they're 12, 13, they have enough sense to know that they wanna hear the
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Bible taught. They find it very interesting and good for them to hear verse -by -verse exposition,
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Christ -centered, God -centered preaching. I think there's some 12 and 13 -year -old kids that like that here, don't you?
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Yeah, probably, yeah. Yeah, well, because they're not really kids. 13 in the
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Bible times, of course, you'd be an adult. So I mean, there's, we've dumbed this all down, but they're starting to come into their own at that age and starting to recognize that there's a bigger, broader world.
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But I just think of my three -year -old granddaughter and if she could pick a church, it would probably be one that had
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Dora and bubble guppies all the time. That's right, and then they would have little stencil graphs that you could color pictures of Stephen Furtick.
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That'd be lovely. So what we try to do on Sunday is we say to ourself, what would kids like?
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And then we construct a service around that very thing because that way, everyone wins. Everyone's happy because if your kids aren't happy, there's no one who's happy.
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We call that LCD church, lowest common denominator. So Steve, on a regular basis, our family gets together and we might sing some hymns.
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We might eat an omelet. We might just do all kinds of fun things together. And occasionally I'll ask them where to invest the 401k money.
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Oh yeah, that's good. You know, ask them how to, what bills should get paid and which ones shouldn't get paid.
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And I'll ask them what color they want mom and dad's room to be painted and I'll ask them. Yeah, how they would like to have a healthy meal balance.
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So we have all kinds of Willy Wonka. That's the appetizer, some candy.
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Twinkies for the main course. You know, sour warheads are real big in our house. As my kids used to say, warheads.
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Those are big. That's like the main course. What else do we have? Nice, nice. Chocolate, ice cream sandwiches.
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Lots of ice cream. For the main course. Yeah, mint ones. They actually make mint sandwiches now. Don't get them freezer burned or you're in big trouble.
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That'd be nasty. Steve, let's talk about the man's responsibility to lead and the wife's responsibility to help her husband do that very thing when it comes to kids and being excited about the worship service and taking kids there because you know it's good for them, not because they'll like it.
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Well, I mean, let's just think about this. On judgment day, can you imagine the
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Lord, you know, calls up, now it's not gonna be like this, but just for the sake of argument, Lord calls up a family and he says, now
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I'm going to, you know, talk to you and embarrass you a little bit about your choices.
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Now, kids, why did you take your parents to this church? I mean, we would think that that would be absurd and we'd go,
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Lord, what are you talking about? The parents are responsible. And yet we're gonna pick a church based on what the kids want?
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Well, that's crazy. The husband is ultimately the head. What does Ephesians 5 say?
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He's the head of the wife, you know? And so what does that mean? That means he has responsibility.
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Does that mean he's to lord it over? No, he's to love his wife like Christ loved the church and he gave himself up for her.
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Now, does that mean that she gets to choose the church? No, that means that he's responsible and that, you know, if he's smart, he'll find a place where the
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Bible's taught and everything, you know, and he'll kind of work his way through it. He'll coach his wife through it and the kids will follow.
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I don't think there's anything wrong with asking your children on the way home from a worship service.
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Kids, what do you think of the service? Because I'd like to know what they're thinking. I want them to say things like, well,
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Dad, I liked it because he did go verse by verse. He directed our attention to the text.
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And, you know, if they're really little, maybe they'll say something like, well, you know, I really liked the Sunday school because I had a real groovy, you know.
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Groovy, is that coming back in the book? Yeah, oh, it is. A real groovy, cool teacher who gave me.
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It was hit, man, it was hit. See, because at our house, sometimes you get the plain label goldfish, but at this particular church, you got the real,
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I don't know, what are they, Keebler or something? What are those little, what are the real goldfish? I don't know.
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I mean, it'll come to mind because my grandkids like it, but I never eat them. Well, let me ask you this, though. Suppose you're on the way home and you ask your kids, well, what did you think about church?
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And they say something like, well, I don't know, Dad. We were playing hangman the whole, during the whole service.
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Well, if that was with Haman and Esther, that might work. Or if it was with Judas, that might work as well.
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I actually saw this not too long ago, and so that's why I'm bringing it up. Oh, kids were playing hangman here at Bethlehem Bible Church? Yeah. Were they using biblical words, propitiation?
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I don't know. Hey, can I see what you kids are playing up there?
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What we need to do is we need to tell our children, this is why we want to eat in a healthy way.
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This is why we pick a church. This is where we're going to go. And I don't think the attitude of the dad needs to be like it or lump it.
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Early on, he should be enthusiastic. These are the reasons. This is what we do, and you settle into this, oh,
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Mom and Dad know this is right, and we trust Mom and Dad, and we just go there, and you can have some incentives for younger kids, and if you do take notes, you get credit towards X, Y, and Z.
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There's a variety of ways to do it. But just to say to the kids, if you're happy, and I just need a babysitter on Sunday morning, then let's revert back to 30 years ago when the bus just drove down the streets and picked up all the kids in the neighborhood for the services for the
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Children's Sunday School classes, because the parents didn't care. I mean, leaders lead, and if you're not leading,
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I mean, just imagine, just imagine turning the keys of the house, just letting the kids do everything, letting the kids drive you around.
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I mean, they're just foolish things, and yet the single most important issue for the kids is hearing the
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Bible taught. You want them to hear the Bible. You want them to hear the gospel. You want them to hear about Jesus Christ and Him crucified.
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What you don't want to hear is a bunch of stories, funny stories, or how to be a better citizen of the
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United States, or whatever kind of nonsense the local church is teaching. You want them to hear the
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Bible. And why would you not take that as your number one responsibility? Well, Steve, I think that if you teach your children regularly the
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Bible at home, then I think they'll come to love it. Maybe if they're a rebellious teenager, they might just put up with it and hate it because they're wanting to spread the wings of sin in their life.
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But if you do that regularly at home, then the children are going to go to the church service, the worship service, and hear more of the same.
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And they're used to sitting there for a while. They're used to hearing about the Bible and hears who God is and how He redeems people.
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And they'll actually hear from someone who's probably a better teacher than their father because it's the gifted ones who are up there preaching.
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They're not the better ones, but just more gifted in teaching and they've had more time to study throughout the week. And so I think if you teach children to pay attention, it's very important and I think they'll get something out of it.
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Steve, would you address short -term memory now with kids and just zipping all around with thoughts and images and digital age?
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And how do you teach a kid to pay attention for a 45 -minute sermon? Well, here's what we know.
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Kids will say, or parents will say, well, you know what? My kid just, little Johnny just can't sit still for a 45 -minute sermon.
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So we have to let him run around the hallways or can't you have some kind of senior junior church for the 14 -year -olds who really would rather do something.
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That's a regular request, by the way. So here's the answer, parents.
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Here's my Steve challenge to you. Take your kids on a Saturday, take your kids into the living room, turn on the
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Xbox, let them play for six hours. See how often they say, you know what? I'm bored.
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I'm bored, dad. I wanna do something else. I don't think I can play this for 45 minutes at a time.
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And actually what you'll find out is they won't eat. They'll put off bathroom breaks and everything else. Why? Because they're fascinated by that Xbox.
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They're enthralled with it. And you're gonna tell me that he can't sit there and listen to the
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Bible being taught, word about his sin, his most pressing need in life, his need for forgiveness of sin and a
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Redeemer who came down from heaven, lived a perfect life in his place, died on a cross and was raised on the third day.
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He can't listen to that, but he can play Xbox all day long. And even when kids are too little to understand,
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I remember when Haley got her first sliver in her hand and I could not communicate to her that what
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I was going to do with this needle was not to hurt her, just to hurt her, but I had to hurt her to help her.
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And so she just didn't understand. So I can imagine four -year -old kids, eight -year -old kids, the mom just gets saved and they go to church and they hear all these things.
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And it does seem boring initially because there's a person talking. It's a talking head up there. What are they understanding?
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What do they get? I understand all that, but over time they will begin to understand.
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They will begin to put the pieces together. And I think it's the parent's responsibility to lead their children.
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Steve, what would you do with a woman who's, let's say Christian, her husband's not saved and she doesn't really want to fight with the kids.
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So she's glad that the kids like this certain mega church, feel good church, psychologically driven church, seeker sensitive church.
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They like that. That's better than having them not want to go. It might be.
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On the other hand, it might be what I see so often. And in fact, I've been dealing in the last couple of weeks with a young man in this situation.
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He grew up in a church where basically he was taught to believe he was saved, even though he doesn't act like it at all.
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And so he's still living kind of in that bubble. And what he's, all he received by going to a church like that was an inoculation for the gospel.
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Now he's, obviously he's not gospel proof. I mean, the Holy Spirit can still convict him and save him.
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But as far as he's concerned, he's okay with God and he's not. So, you may be doing a greater disservice by going to that kind of church than you might think.
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Just appeasing the children probably is not the right thing to do.
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Steve, we are as pastors here under a commission, a divine authoritative commission.
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And that is to be faithful, to proclaim the word and to do what the Bible says about local worship and the worship of the mediator and advocate
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Jesus. And so I don't really have a choice. I don't think to myself, what will the people like today?
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I think, well, what hymns would be appropriate? Here's a passage. I have to preach the word in season and out of season.
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There's gonna be some reproof. There's gonna be some rebuke, some exhortation. And so I just have to be faithful.
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Isn't that what we're after? Find a church that preaches the Bible faithfully and whether they have a kids program, whether they have a nursery, whether they have a soccer field, whether they have hymns or contemporary songs, you're gonna be fine.
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Well, and I have to be candid here. There was a time in my life where I worked with a guy who was wanting to get in a standup comedy and I actually wrote some jokes for him.
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And I'm like, I think, gee, what if I really just focused on what people wanted? Well, I would just be as funny as I could possibly be.
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I mean, people would leave, some days they'd go, you know what? That was probably your funniest message ever.
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And then some days they'd go, well, you know what? I got a couple of good chuckles. That's what I would do if I was that worried about it.
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But then if I did that, what would happen? I'd go home that night now, knowing what I know now, I'd go home that night and go,
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I'm gonna have to give an account to God for this. Is that what I want? Steve, I think there's a new translation of the
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Bible floating around out there. I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead and by his appearance and his kingdom, preach comedy the word.
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Yeah, no, no. And I mean, that's what I mean. When you think about that kind of language, that kind of courtroom language, and then
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I'm not going to do it, no thanks. I only have one word for that. It's a no compromise word.
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Yikes. You can go to Israel with us if you want, February 17th, 2015.
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You can write us at info at nocompromiseradio .com or Pastor Steve is that Tuesday guy at nocompromiseradio .com.
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No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.
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Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life transforming power of God's word through verse by verse exposition of the sacred text.
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Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 1015 and in the evening at six. We're right on route 110 in West Boylston.
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You can check us out online at bbchurch .org or by phone at 508 -835 -3400.
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The thoughts and opinions expressed on No Compromise Radio do not necessarily reflect those of WVNE its staff or management.