Book Review: You're Not Enough by Allie Stuckey

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Welcome back to Coffee with a Calvinist.
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This program is dedicated to helping you better understand the Word of God and the doctrines of grace.
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The Bible tells us, do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.
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Get your Bible and coffee ready and prepare to study along.
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Here's your host with today's lesson, Pastor Keith Foskey.
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And welcome back to Coffee with a Calvinist.
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My name is Keith Foskey and I am a Calvinist.
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Today is September 4th, 2020.
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And if you're following along in our daily Bible reading, you should be reading 1 Timothy chapter 4.
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We are doing one chapter a day through the New Testament in 2020.
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If you'd like to get a copy of our daily Bible reading list, you can go to the church website sgfcjacks.org.
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That is Sovereign Grace Family Church of Jacksonville.
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And if you are in or around the Jacksonville area and you would like to come and visit us, we would love to have you this coming Lord's Day.
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We have Sunday school at 930 and worship at 1030.
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Well today is a special day because today I have again my lovely wife who is going to be doing a book review with me.
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Say hello, Jennifer.
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Hi.
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Hello, everyone.
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Hi, Jennifer.
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It's great to have you.
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And I'm excited to have you because today we're going to be reviewing a book that would be very hard for me to review on my own.
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This book is entitled You're Not Enough and That's Okay by Allie Beth Stuckey.
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And I want to talk a little bit about why I chose to review this book.
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First and foremost, I'm trying to make this a normal Friday routine that I take our Friday and I review a book.
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And last week, Jennifer reviewed Al Mohler's book with me.
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And a lot of you said you were encouraged by that.
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And I got a lot of good feedback off of that podcast.
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So I'm going to make Friday sort of a book review Friday.
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And each Friday we're going to be talking about books that have encouraged us or influenced us in some way.
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And for those of you who've never heard of Allie Beth Stuckey, Allie Beth Stuckey is a political commentator.
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She's a podcaster.
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She's a Christian.
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She holds to reform theology.
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And she's a person who is not unwilling to speak her mind.
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I just happened to pull her up on the computer.
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And if you type in her name and Google her, the very first thing that comes up is her Twitter page.
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And the very first thing, it's a couple of her tweets.
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And the first one just sort of gives you an idea of her personality.
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She says, when you glorify criminals and abusers because they fit your social justice narrative, you demean their victims.
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Please stop.
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I think that's great.
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I think that's and that's that's a voice that is in in our culture today, an important voice.
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She is an intelligent, strong lady, and she speaks a lot of truth.
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And so we are happy to review the book.
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I will say this.
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I have not completed the book yet.
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It didn't appeal to me as much because she speaks specifically to primarily a female audience.
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Would you agree with that, Jennifer, that it's primarily a female audience? So but I appreciated the things that I did get to in the book.
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And like I said, so really, today's review is not really from me, but from my wife.
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And that's why I wanted to have her on the program.
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Jennifer, I'm going to for a moment, if you would tell us your just your initial thoughts on the book and your initial I know you've written some thoughts down.
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So tell us kind of give us some thoughts.
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I love this book.
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I have actually listened twice.
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I've listened to the book twice now, and I highly recommend it for I mean, I think it's great for all ages of women, I think would get something out of this book.
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But primarily I'm thinking of those with young adults, teenagers, I think in this age, I mean, that the gist of the book is this.
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I mean, the title of it says you're not enough and that's OK.
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But the message around us, I mean, in social media, and schools, television, I mean, just even in the church, just says you are OK, you're perfect, you're amazing.
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You know, the self esteem and self help movement, self care, you know, all of these words, you know, if you Google self care, I mean, it's just mind boggling all of the things that come up.
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I think like you deserve to be happy and fulfilled.
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And the message, that message is not a biblical message at all.
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Like you're not enough on your own, but Christ is.
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And that that is the book.
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She goes into much more depth and we'll talk more about it.
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But that that is the main idea of the book.
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No, you're not enough and that's OK.
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You're not created to be enough.
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Christ is enough.
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Amen.
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And and I will say this, you mentioned something, you made a note of something that I just want to follow up on.
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You mentioned you listen to the book twice and that's no, I'm glad you mentioned that because, as some of our listeners may already know, our family does a lot on audio books.
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I do a lot of driving, whether it be going to visit folks in the ministry or going to and from the church or going to and from set free when I'm preaching.
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You know, that's almost a, you know, a forty five minute round trip every every week that I have to take.
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And so I spend a lot of time listening to books and I'm very excited when there are new books that come out on audio that that weren't previously available.
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And so this is a short audio book, right? How many hours is four hours, only four.
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So, you know, like for me, a lot of the audio books I've been through are twelve, thirteen, fifteen, sometimes twenty hours.
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And I listen to them on double speed and it's it's hard to keep up sometimes.
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It sounds like I'm listening to, you know, one of the chipmunks read the book to me.
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But you can listen to this book at a relatively at a normal pace and finish it in four hours.
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So if you're if you're listening to this and you're a homeschool mom and you want to incorporate this into your your your life, but you say, well, I don't know if I have enough time to read during the day or whatever, or, you know, reading my reading time, I want to spend in the Bible.
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So this might be something that you could put on an iPod or a cell phone.
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And, you know, when you're doing the the work around the house or when you're going to and from somewhere, you can put it in your car and listen to it.
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And and I just find that very helpful.
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And I know that's not really what we're doing.
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We're not reviewing audio books today, but when it comes to this one, it's it's so short, you know, you can get it in a couple of days if you strategically place your time.
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Now, Jennifer, when we were talking about this book and when I was listening and I was going through the first couple of chapters, one of the things that I just sort of dawned on me is as a man, life is so different for me.
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I don't have the same.
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I mean, there are things that happen in the life of a man where the world does tell you that you're not enough or the world tells you whatever.
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You know, there's a lot of things in the world that are that that we have to deal with, but it's definitely not the same.
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The social atmosphere, especially for, you know, in our circles, it would be things like moms, you know, and and because that's the age we're at.
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You're at the age where you have children.
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And so moms sort of tend to compare one another even when they shouldn't.
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And there's there's this worldly attempt to try to say you are perfect just the way you are and you should celebrate who you are.
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And Ali is saying no.
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But and that sounds like it's wrong.
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That sounds like, well, why shouldn't we celebrate who we are? What am I right about that? Yeah, you're exactly right about that.
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Well, she breaks that that up into five myths.
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Her chapters are laid out by myths.
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And the first myth is you are enough.
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She begins by, you know, she talks about her testimony and about why, you know, why she wrote the book, kind of about the sin, sin she was struggling with at the time that was tearing her apart.
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And she was doing everything within herself to make herself happy because she's enough.
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But her it made her happy temporarily, but it left her in a worse state.
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Attempts, you know, realizing the truth that you are not enough, any attempts to make you happy or satisfied will fail.
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I mean, doing what feels good at the moment, just, you know, drinking the alcohol or doing the drugs or whatever it is that, you know, you struggle with.
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I mean, it just numbs the pain temporarily.
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She says self-love is unreliable, conditional and limited.
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That's great.
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That's great.
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Now, let me ask you this.
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You mentioned the myths.
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Is that each chapter? Yeah, each chapter.
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OK, so take us through.
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Do you have them on your list? I do.
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And again, I think this is a good thing to do when we're doing book reviews is to talk about each chapter.
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And is it a five chapter book? Five chapters.
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OK, so give us the headings of each chapter.
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OK, the first one I said, you are you are enough.
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That's a myth, you are enough.
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Jesus is enough.
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He is living water.
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OK, myth two, you determine your truth.
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OK, so we aren't enough to come up with our own truths.
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I mean, our thoughts confuse us.
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Our intuition is often wrong.
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Our feelings deceive us.
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Now, what does the Bible say? Our heart is desperately wicked.
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I mean, who can know it? It almost sounds like she's dealing with the subject of relativism and that when she says, you know, you're not you don't get to develop your own truth.
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You don't get to create truth.
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That's right.
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And what was the third? She said we would make terrible gods.
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I'm sorry.
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I may interrupt you.
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Which I just want to share this real quick.
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She discusses something she calls me ology.
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And she says this is a big problem.
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And she says it's when a pastor preaches, she says people don't know their Bibles.
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And this is part of the problem.
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They kind of mix in what they think about things or how they feel with a little bit of scripture that they know and combine it.
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But it's not really biblical at all.
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She said the pastor preaches like a motivational type speech.
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So they don't have any truth to hold on to.
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And that's a big problem that she sees.
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So how do you know what the truth is? If you're not in the word, you're just hearing devotionals or self-help pep talks or, you know, she brings that.
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And I thought that was an excellent point.
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Okay.
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And so that's the second one.
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That's what's myth number three.
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Myth three.
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You are perfect the way you are.
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So that's not true.
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I'm not perfect.
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I'm not.
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I'm not everything my mother said I am.
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I think you're pretty close.
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Well, that's very sweet and very not true.
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Okay.
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So what's myth number four? Well, can I share a little bit longer? Okay.
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Hearing and believing we are perfect because we do hear that from our moms and hear that from other people.
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We tell that to ourselves.
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But realizing there is something else we need to do.
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That she calls it a paradox, that it's paradoxical because you try to figure out, okay, my mom says I'm perfect.
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Yeah, the other books, the magazine articles say you're perfect just the way you are.
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So here's three things you can do to be better.
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That's exactly right.
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If I'm perfect, why do I need to do three things better? She goes on to say exactly that.
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Well, she calls it trendy narcissism.
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Who you really are on the inside is perfect.
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You know, so what you need to do is, you know, by reading a book, you know, reading a book, cleaning up your diet, repeating positive mantras.
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Girl, wash your face.
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You're perfect in this book by this thing.
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You know, it'll help you realize your perfection.
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That's all.
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That's all empty promises.
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Okay, myth number four, you're entitled to your dreams.
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If I am entitled to my dreams, who are you to tell Allie Beth Stuckey is I tell you what, I'm glad I didn't get to chapter four.
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I had to put the book down.
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I am very much entitled to my dream.
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No, I'm just kidding.
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But OK, if you do and say the right things, you'll get what you want.
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You just assume it will happen.
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She says our existence entitles us to the things we desire.
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Our existence entitles us, I think, from a theological perspective, I would say our existence entitles us to the wrath of God.
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That's the only thing we're owed.
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And so I didn't mean to take that in the right turn there.
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But OK, so that's myth number four.
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What's the final myth? The last myth says you can't love yourselves until you can't love others until you love yourself.
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How often have you heard that? Yes, of course.
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Famous the Osteens have said, she quotes in here, God's love empowers us to love ourselves.
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I think the problem in scripture is that we love ourselves too much.
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Is that it? We love ourselves too much.
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Yeah, I think so.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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We naturally, she says here, you know, it comes from this self-esteem and self-acceptance movement that we naturally look out for ourselves first.
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So I think that's the problem.
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I mean, yeah, we.
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Hey, earlier when we were talking, you mentioned that we had a you had a conclusion from the book that you really wanted to share.
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You said that she shares a really good gospel message in this book.
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So do you have something for that that you wanted to share about the end? She does.
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I just wanted to share kind of in conclusion what she said.
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And just for everybody to think about is that.
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Times in her life, but we can share that, you know, in our life, if you think about it, that the most miserable times thinking back or times when you're focused on yourself or on your desires, you put you in the center, center stage.
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But she describes motherhood and becoming a wife and her career and different things.
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But removing herself from the center and putting God at the center where he belongs is what times of most contentment.
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So I think that's what we can learn from this book.
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You know, may we decrease and Christ increase in our life.
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And that's, you know, finding contentment.
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That's what all these other articles and books are trying to do.
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You're trying to find contentment within yourself.
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I tell you what, one of the things that John Piper said, and it still just rings true every time I think about it, it just keeps getting more and more true that God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.
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And that's such a simple statement.
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But I think such a true statement.
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God is God is glorified in us when we when he becomes our portion.
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I posted something earlier about prosperity theology.
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I said the problem with prosperity theology is that prosperity theology tries to get you to be satisfied in what God can give you.
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But Christianity is about being satisfied in God alone, not in what God can give you, but in God alone.
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The Bible says God is our portion.
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He is that which satisfies.
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That's right.
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And if you look towards any self-help books, mantras, chants, yogas, anything that the world offers you, it's fleeting and temporary.
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And so I would have to I know the answer, but I'm going to say it anyway.
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Jennifer Foskey, having gone through this book twice, would you recommend this book to our listeners? I give it I give it I don't know.
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Ten thumbs up, ten thumbs up, about two thumbs, two thumbs up.
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OK, so you you you emphatically I am would encourage people to to seek out this book and either read it or listen to it.
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But that's what we that's what we're doing today.
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We're trying to encourage everybody to to know that this book exists, to know that it it's something that we would encourage you to read every Friday.
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We're going to try to do this.
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Jennifer might not be able to be with me every time I do this, but I am thankful for last week and for this week.
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So again, Jennifer, thank you.
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And again, you said there's a good gospel message.
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Like I said, I haven't finished the book yet.
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Yeah, there's a good gospel message.
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So this would also be a good book to give an unbeliever.
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Yes.
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Yes, it would.
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Don't forget, guys, your unbelieving friends, one of the ways that you can reach out to them is to give them good literature to read, give them gospel tracts to read.
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You want to say something, Jennifer, before we close? Just real quick, back, you know, on myth one, when she's talking about myth one, she she gives the gospel several times throughout the book.
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But just keep this in mind.
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We need Jesus.
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Only he can satisfy.
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He is the bread of life, the living, you know, our living water, our identity, purpose and truth is found, you know, found through him.
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He created us.
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And without him, we are hopeless, purposeless and dead in our sin.
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So you aren't meant to be enough.
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And that's OK.
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Amen.
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Well, again, thank you, Jennifer, for being on Coffee with a Calvinist.
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And again, thank you, listener, for being with us today.
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This has been Coffee with a Calvinist.
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I'm Keith Foskey and I have been your Calvinist.
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May God bless you.
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Thank you for joining in for today's episode of Coffee with a Calvinist.
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Keep in mind, we have a new lesson available every weekday morning at 630 a.m.
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On behalf of Pastor Foskey, thank you for listening.
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May God bless you.