Sex Is Not Optional

All right, good morning. Do you have a Bible turn to Genesis 2. We're going to be reading Genesis 2 24 through 35 and Thinking through Genesis chapter 3 as well, but for now, we'll read Genesis 2 24 through 25 and we're continuing our Study in Genesis basic truths and the truth today that we're going to be considering is the truth That sex is not optional.

So if you do have Genesis 2 24 open go ahead and stand for the reading of God's Word. Genesis 2 24 therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh and The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

This is the Word of the Lord. Maybe see it. Let's pray. Lord we do pray that you bless our time here today and help us to learn great things from your word. We know that you are good that your plans are right and your purposes will stand.

You know that we're living in a world that really is In contention with you at every level. You pray that you help us to learn great things today and help us know how best to honor you your sins. I pray.

Amen.

Growing up. I grew up in a time where pastors used to preach on the topic of sex. It's not really something that happens anymore. Very rarely if ever do you hear a pastor address this topic from the pulpit almost at all?

But I grew up in a generation where pastors still talked about this topic. And the way they talked about this topic was largely in the language of warning. So I grew up with strong warnings being given about the subject of sex.

Most of those warnings took the form of Presenting to young people the consequences of engaging in this activity and those Consequent those consequences were enumerated to great length growing up for me.

So I remember pastors would warn about the nature of this topic That in a way that almost led an individual to the conclusion that sex itself was bad. There was something to be feared. It was something that was deeply shameful.

It was something that should not be engaged in. What they were trying to do was warn young people about the dangers of fornication which are real certainly when Individuals get engaged in fornication there is going to be shame that comes from that there is going to be Objective guilt that comes from that there are many consequences to engaging in fornication including STDs.

Damaged relationships out of Wedlock pregnancies all these things are certainly true and these were the kind of things that pastors warned my generation about growing up. One of the things that's happened is you're living in a generation that failed to heed those warnings, so we're several generations in now to a point where Fornication has become somewhat ubiquitous at this point.

So it's expected that young people will fornicate at this point. This shows up in almost every conceivable way. When you think about the TV shows that we watch now It's very normal and natural for us to watch TV shows where unmarried couples are living together.

Where there are scenes of them Laying in bed together. And I'm not trying to talk about even the scandalous stuff that we Shouldn't be watching today. I'm just talking about normal normal scenes of unmarried people living together and having Conversations that would be appropriate to have if you were a married couple.

But today pastors, they really don't talk about this Topic at all really in our impulses surrounding this topic are to basically play Play the role of the therapist after the fact who are trying to assure everyone that they haven't ruined their life and God still has Plans and purposes for them.

So growing up the focus was on trying to keep them from doing these things by warning them Essentially that if they engage in these activities, they're probably going to ruin their life forever. Today the job of most pastors is basically to say to them that you know, you haven't we know that you've done this.

We know that you've engaged in these things and you haven't ruined your life. God still has a purpose and a plan for you, but the problem with both of these ways of approaching this topic. Is that it tempts us to view sex as something that's fundamentally bad something that's shameful something that's dirty and When you go into marriage and you think about sex itself as being something that's shameful bad dirty defiled.

When you go into marriage thinking that way what you end up doing is you have a very difficult time adjusting to married life. Because you've been trained in a certain perspective of this topic Through the nature of all the warnings that you receive to where you view it as somewhat of a negative thing.

And you have a difficult time adjusting and thinking about it rightly. Today you live in a society that really is governed by feminine sensibilities. And I don't know how to acknowledge this without becoming guilty of the great sin of misogyny.

I Don't see myself particularly as a misogynist. But I do know that many pastors have temptations to downplay the natures of sin that women uniquely commit. When you think about a topic like this the topic of sex being optional there is a certain Perspective of sex that has happened within the world that as I'm saying is largely governed by the way that Females think about this topic, so we are no longer living in a patriarchal society.

We currently live in a society that's more matriarchal and orientation and because you live in a society That's more matriarchal and orientation, and it's more governed by feminine sensibilities. What happens is that when you think about this topic you may think about this topic in a way that? more naturally fits the way that women think about this topic and Then if I if I were to come along and basically try to tell you About reasons why that's happening you may be tempted and predisposed to think that somehow that's Throwing women under the bus in a way that's somewhat inappropriate.

I would ask you as we go along today to be aware of that temptation that you might have because I don't know how to Talk about a topic like this and talk about dangers that are actually there and where these dangers are arising Without being honest about the nature of the situation itself.

But I do think yet, we are living in a society right now where sexless marriages are on the rise. So the definition of sexless marriage that many you know the experts are operating under is the definition of a couple who has sex less than Ten times a year that would be typically considered a sexless marriage, so these these numbers are on the rise it's very difficult to find good numbers on this topic because this is a topic that most people are somewhat embarrassed to talk about and Probably don't want to admit To in the form of statistics, but you know with the statistics I've seen It can be upwards to about 20 of marriages that are this way and these are not just older marriages where you might naturally expect These things to happen.

I read a stat that was basically saying that among millennial women After four years of marriage Only 48 of women have any interest in sex anymore. I Found that to be somewhat shocking and remarkable.

But this is certainly the kind of thing that has shown up in counseling in a way that's somewhat one-sided, okay. So in the course of my counseling I've had one couple I Have one couple that I was involved in counseling with Where the guy was tempted to treat sex as optional depriving his wife of her conjugal rights.

I? Don't know how to enumerate The number of individuals who have reached out to me for help About that topic on the other side. Now that's not to say that there's no good reasons Why these things are the case and I'm not suggesting and you should not hear me to be suggesting right now.

And you may be here tempted to hear me suggest.

That.

The fact that those Realities are one-sided is all at the blame of one gender. That's not what I'm saying. I am trying to say that this is a temptation that One gender does uniquely face as a result of biological realities.

Which we should all be aware of. Which I think sometimes we forget and need to have pointed out to us. Now did counsel a couple at a church. I was that and I'm not going to tell you what church I was that and I did ask them permission Whether or not I could share this example just so that you don't take offense on their behalf.

I did ask them if I was allowed to take if they would mind if I share this example without sharing their names. They said that was fine. But I did counsel a married couple Who had basically not had sex for the first 15 months of their marriage.

This is like a Christian couple. There's a Christian couple grew up in church their whole life. They didn't have sex for the first 15 months of their marriage. When I asked them why? Basically, they told me that there was some medical condition that was leading to making this difficult.

When I asked them more questions, it comes to find out that the medical condition was the wife was afraid.

And that was it.

But the thing is the husband just kind of let this happen which was baffling to me. I couldn't understand why he would let that go on and on for 15 months. So there's something happening on that end. When I discerned that we're talking about a medical condition of fear I did you know light my beard on fire and run around the office and shove things around the desk and Basically tell them that they were committing tax fraud and violating God's standards and Did not promise that I wouldn't report them, you know.

But no hi. They have three kids now. But there's something I hear you have to understand you're living in a society right now where that kind of thing can happen. Okay, you know you say hey, that's a that's a extreme situation.

That's not a common situation. I'll tell you that This is a big problem in the church, this is a big problem in the church. It may not take that extreme of a form. But there are so many guys that reach out to me.

I'm somewhat of a public personality because I have a podcast. I have so many guys they've reached out to me on this topic that I really don't even know what to do with and You know in a lot of cases I understand why their wives wouldn't want to touch them with the 10-foot pole.

But like the issue is is it really is this is a this is not an uncommon thing. And I don't think I'm not persuaded that Christians are thinking about this topic as they should and I'm not persuaded that Christians are thinking about sex as being so foundational to what makes a marriage a marriage as It actually is and so we would do well to think about some of these things today.

Now as I said, we've been doing a study on basic truths and the basic truth that we're going to talk about today is the truth that sex is not optional and part of the reason why we're talking about this is because there's three purposes for marriage in The Bible and I've talked about them in order and all of these purposes for marriage in the Bible are found.

Being taught in one way or another in Genesis. So God in his Word has answered some basic questions about who we are where we come from where we are going. He's answered those questions in the opening chapters of the Bible lest we have any kind of confusion.

Because they are so foundational to the way we understand what the world actually is. But as I said, there's three purposes for marriage and our confession outlines those purposes and we've talked about each one of them so far.

We're on the last. So our confession says marriage was ordained for the mutual help of a husband and wife. We talked about that for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue. We talked about that as well when our procreation is not optional sermon and finally for the preventing of uncleanness.

So marriage, what is it ordained for? Well, it's a means of helping individuals to avoid Temptation and it is this basic truth. We're going to talk about today and it's this basic truth that I don't know that we're really allowed to say as If it's a real thing.

I Don't know that we're allowed to treat this third purpose for marriage. As if it's a real purpose for marriage. What I mean by that is if I try to treat this as a real purpose for marriage. That sex was given in marriage for the purpose of preventing immorality.

Then what we are instantaneously predisposed to think is that if there is ever any immorality to happen. You should treat that as as if it bears no correlation to the purpose of marriage itself. That make sense.

I'm trying to say that's the way you're predisposed to think. Now what I'm not suggesting and you should not hear me to be suggesting is that if a person is unfaithful to their marriage vows. They are able to blame it on the unfaithfulness of the other person.

That's not what I'm trying to say, but I am trying to say that these things are connected and marriage is meant to be a Relationship that helps prevent immorality and one of the ways it does prevent immorality is by treating sex not as optional but as a Necessary part of marriage and so we're going to talk about some of these things today.

Now when you look at Genesis 2 24 the passages that we talked about today. We're going to spend some time here in Genesis 2 24. I want to talk about God's purposes in creation related to sex and then we're also going to talk about how the fall has affected these purposes as well.

But Genesis 2 24 starts out this way. It gives us our definition of marriage that we've talked about to some length. So Genesis 2 24 says therefore a man shall leave his father and mother hold fast to his wife.

They will become one flesh. That's our definition for marriage brothers and sisters. That's what it is. If you want to know what marriage is. Everything that you need to understand what marriage is is found right there a man leaving father and mother.

Holding fast to wife. They shall become one flesh. And if you you know have paid attention to what is actually being said there that is a statement about sex, isn't it? And leaves father mother holds fast to his wife.

They shall become one flesh. There are biological realities that are present there that I'm not going to detail I'm just going to suggest though that that intrinsic to the nature of what marriage is. This topic is Closely tied to that a verse 25 the man his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

What do we see here in Genesis 2 24 about the nature of what marriage is? Well, what we see is that sex is they the sine qua non of marriage. That's a fancy Latin phrase which means the without which nothing if you want to understand if you want to understand what makes marriage different from any other relationship.

You need to think about it in relation to the topic that we're talking about here today. As I said, yeah, you're living in a society right now that views the world primarily through the lens of female sensibilities.

And because you view the world primarily through the lens of female sensibilities. What you might think when you think about what marriage is in the first instance. You may be tempted to think that marriage is meant to be Fundamentally in the first instance a friendship.

So when you get married, what are you looking for? What are you trained to look for when you when you look for a marriage? You're trained to look for your opposite-sex bestie, right? You're BFF forever.

That's what you're looking for. I Talk to young people who are pursuing marriage. That's in the forefront of their mind as the nature of the tasks that they're trying to find. They're trying to find there.

They may not Add the redundant forever on to the BFF thing like I just did but that's what they're looking for. They're looking for their best friend forever, and I'm not suggesting that marriage is not meant to be a strong friendship I am suggesting that that's not fundamental to what makes marriage marriage and we used to know this we used to know this.

Okay.

Men and women.

Don't know how to say this without this. In a way that doesn't communicate to other people that I'm disparaging the nature of male-female friendships. But I am trying to say that male and females don't make natural friends.

We're very different. We don't make natural friends. You know throughout the course of my life When I think about the nature of male to male friendships, I've had plenty of male friendships. And you know what those male friendships are typically not In danger of much conflict, okay?

Like so you think about my male friendships my whole life, right? There's very little conflict that I've ever had and the vast majority of those male friendships. Those males friendships are kind of centered around some kind of common quest some kind of objective that we have we're Engaging in similar interest or coming alongside each other right.

So male friendship is like this. If you think male-female friendship, it's like this where male friendship is side-by-side engaging in a task together. The vast majority of my veil friendships were pretty easy.

Problem free no stress very little potential for misunderstanding. If one of the first times I ever had Conflict in one of my male friendships was in seminary. And one of my friends in seminary came up to me and basically he was deeply disappointed the fact that I hadn't called him enough lately.

And I just kind of looked at him. I said hey, I don't do this with men. Is that the way this works? These are the kind of things that are characteristic of my relationships with women. I'm not doing that with you like we're busy.

We're in seminary man. We read books all day long. I'm not good. We're not doing that. We're not going there. But I mean that's that's a rare situation that this happened almost every Relationship whatever you want to describe.

I've ever had with a woman has been very very different. We're very different. We think very differently get very different expectations about the world. It's it's much more difficult to put a man and a woman together in close proximity and tell them to get along.

Then it is necessarily to put two men together In close proximity and tell them to get along. Many women don't necessarily make natural friends. But that isn't fundamentally the things that are mentioned in Genesis 22 24 about what makes marriage marriage.

It's not just this friendship. Okay, this opposite-sex friendship now certainly in a good biblical marriage. There's a great capacity for a very fulfilling Kind of friendship. I'm not trying to deny that.

I'm just trying to ask a basic question. What makes marriage marriage? Well, what makes marriage marriage is and they shall become one flesh. That's what makes marriage marriage and Jesus says as much okay, so in Matthew 19 11.

In Matthew 19 11 When Jesus is discussing the nature of the permanence of marriage with his disciples. They conclude they conclude that it would be better not to marry. If from the beginning God made them fail male and female and what God has joined together.

Let not man separate. They conclude well, it's better not marry. What does Jesus say about that? He said to them verse Matthew 19 11. Not everyone can receive the saying but only to those to whom it's been given for their eunuchs have been so from birth.

There are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men and there are eunuchs have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it. What is he saying there?

He's saying if you're a biological eunuch, you're not made for marriage. You know what when I've said that before I've had Many people get upset with me to suggest that there is someone who is not made for marriage.

And the biological eunuch Jesus is saying is not made for marriage. Why? Look at what marriage is in Genesis 2 24 and they shall become one flesh. Is that possible for the biological eunuch? No. Well, but can't they still be friends opposite sex friends?

Yeah, sure. They could be opposite sex friends, but that isn't what? That isn't the sine qua non of marriage. That's not what makes marriage marriage. Marriage is designed for three purposes the confession says what are those three purposes?

One of those is the mutual help between a husband and wife. So that's one purpose that could be fulfilled with a eunuch marriage. What are the other two for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue?

That's procreation. That can't happen. In a eunuch marriage and the prevention of uncleanness. That can't happen. Within a eunuch marriage you see two of those purposes are not able to be lawfully fulfilled.

It's denying the nature of what makes marriage marriage. So the nature of what makes marriage marriage is marriage as distinct from other kinds of relationships is in the first instance a sexual relations.

Relationship. Well now what else do we see about creation God's creative purposes for sex here? So one we see that sex is the sine qua non of marriage that without which nothing. Second we see that sex is a gift to be enjoyed without shame in the context of a marriage.

So as Genesis 2 24 says. Therefore a man shall leave his father mother hold fast to his wife and they shall become among flesh. And notice the picture of unity and harmony in verse 25 and the man and his wife were both naked and not ashamed.

What is sex was the gift to be ignored? It's a gift to be enjoyed without shame in the context of marriage now step into that world for a minute. I know that we anyone here today who was married. Who's thinking about marriage you're living not in the world that Adam and Eve lived in.

When you think about this topic when you think about nakedness you think of you associate it with shame and condemnation guilt.

Embarrassment I.

Mean it's frequent that Individuals will have dreams where they don't have any clothes on and you know This is a profound source of embarrassment for them. The psycho the psychologists tell you that if you have those kind of dreams And that's a sign of insecurity.

I don't really know what to make of that. I've had some of those strange dreams before mostly mostly. I have dreams or like I have a teeth missing or That which I would associate with some kind of insecurity in the moment but I mean certainly step into that world for a second and It's really startling to think about the nature of The experience of marriage that Adam and Eve had prior to the fall that they threw away in the trash.

If you've been married to any length of time You know that there is great capacity for Disharmony on this topic, but I mean imagine what the world was like for Adam and Eve where there was none of that completely free.

Open.

No embarrassment. No shame. Here for you right. Like I'm here for you. We know what marriage is. There's no sin that's tempting us to Withhold our affection from each other. There's no distrust there.

That's going to distort this act of intimacy. A lot was lost in those moments for sure. I mean perhaps the only context we have right now for these words The man and his wife are both naked and not ashamed is when you consider the way that children are Related to Their relationship between clothes and the rest of the world.

Okay.

They seem to be blissfully unaware of the realities that rest of us are painfully aware of. Thinking that clothing are optional. And basking in their Edenic glory, yeah. But you do have to train them out of those things and at a certain point you do notice there is a transition from Them being in a state of innocence to all sudden Them experiencing the world the way the rest of us, so what does the fall done?

Well fall distorts sex by associating nakedness with shame. That's what it does so Genesis 3 6. We see that when the woman saw that the tree was good for food. That it was a delight to the eyes in the tree was desired to make one wise.

She took it of its fruit and ate and she also gave some to her husband who was there with her and ate. Then the eyes of both were opened and they Knew that they were naked and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.

And I heard the sound of the Lord walking in the garden In the cool of the day and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him.

Where are you? He said I heard the sound of you walking in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself. He said who told you that you were naked have you eaten of the tree which I commanded you not to eat.

So you think about this passage and what you see is as a result of the fall. There's a fundamental disharmony that's introduced between man and woman. It's fundamental disharmony that's reduced introduced between man and his fellow man.

You see that there's a fundamental disharmony that's introduced between man primarily and his maker. You know after eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil innocence is lost. The man and his wife they both feel exposed.

Instead of seeing nakedness as a good gift to be enjoyed in the context of marriage. Man and his wife they feel Not only exposed before God, but they feel exposed in front of other people now. Nakedness now is something that is associated with shame.

When you think about that topic related to yourself. There is great capacity for shame that you are going to experience. It's very difficult to enjoy the marriage union. With this great capacity that individuals have for shame in the first instance because shame is associated with nakedness.

But in the second instance because we are moral beings who are made in the image of God when you violate God's standards. What happens you violate God's standards you experience shame? Objectively you're guilty.

Guilt is the experience of shame. You feel that guilt. You feel that shame you feel that condemnation. The reality of your nakedness is is basically the reality that you as a creature are looking up to your maker and realizing.

That you are flawed.

You're flawed.

You're imperfect. Now instead of nakedness being a gift to be enjoyed in the context of marriage you realize there are threats from the outside.

Like.

You are not a perfect person right. You are not a perfect person. You are a fallen person. You you are sinful. You are guilty and at the same time. There's threats on the outside. There's distrust between the man and the wife.

At this point. Notice how the man and his wife. They hide themselves from each other. They're hiding themselves from other people. They're hiding themselves from.

God.

And as we're going to learn later these these are not just Acts that they perform of their own doing which God doesn't verify. So God institutes clothing from this point on as As a normal reality of life in a fallen world.

And.

Really, I mean there's some discussion about How that carries over into the next life as well because it seems like we will be clothed in the next life as well. So that's an interesting topic for a theological reflection.

But here's the point the Paul the fall distorts sex by associating nakedness. With shame creation seems to reinforce reinforce this by cold weather. God's made the world in such a way that clothing is needed for a variety of purposes.

Now Jesus was naked on the cross as an act where others were trying to shame him. But we know that there is great glory in the cross there. You're living in a society where? Individuals are shameless related to this topic when a woman unclothes herself in public.

You're living in a world that views that as a triumphant act of bravery. When really it is Individuals who are glorying in their shame. So as the fall do the fall distorts sex by associating nakedness with shame.

That's what it does. We understand fundamentally that we are moral beings who are created in the image of God we violated his standards. He sees all we can hide nothing From him. Adam and Eve are trying to hide from him.

And that's the joke of the passage is that they're trying to hide from the person who made them who is standing there. Knowing exactly where they are. We tried to hide herself from God and we try to hide herself from other people.

We're weighed down with moral guilt. And then we're also rate weighed down with the guilt of knowing that we aren't what we're Made to be in certain ways and this obviously shows up in the context of marriage.

So song Solomon 8 8 Says that we have a little sister and she has no breast. What should we do for a sister on the day when she has spoken for? If she is a wall, we will build on her a battlement of silver.

But if she's a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar. I was I was a wall and my breasts were like towers then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace. The reality is that There is a natural normal shame that comes with the reality of being exposed of being sinful of being Fallen of being imperfect and these are all obstacles and barriers that To actual intimacy in the context of marriage that anyone who has been married knows that there's a great capacity for shame.

Finding its way into something which is meant to be Good now and you do have to return to the basic promise the God's purposes for sex and marriage that we've already elaborate on that speak to these kind of things and the husband's job is to help his wife deal with her shame that she might bring into the context of Marriage so that she can be in his eyes as one who finds peace for sure.

So the fall it distorts sex by associating nakedness with shame.

It.

Introduces the need for boundaries for nakedness, so Genesis 3 7. The eyes of both were opened and they knew that they were naked and they sewed Fig leaves together and they made themselves.

Loincloths.

Now the first couple they make themselves clothing. This was something that they did in response to the fall. But this is something that God comes along and reinforces and establishes. So we're gonna talk about that in a little bit.

God comes along and reinforces this need for boundaries for nakedness. Now you're living in a world right now that doesn't seem to understand that men and women are different at this point. We try to downplay these differences.

We pretend that we're functioning the same. But then there are some biological realities to men women that we would do well to pay attention to. I'm not going to go into great detail at this point. But when you think about this topic in general you're living in a in a society right now that basically treats lust as.

Not a real problem, okay. So if you think about individuals who are in various states of undressed today I'm not asking you to think about that too specifically. I'm just trying to talk about the topic in general.

If you think about if a for instance let's get very practical and very specific if a woman were to come to church wearing less clothes than what she should wear and There was a man who lusted after her.

Well whose fault is it. Well the answer is yes, you know. Like is it her fault. Yes, is it the man's fault. Yes, is it their fault in the same way.

No.

Can the man blame his lust on the woman? No, I can't be. I mean he can't say you know if you wore more clothes. I wouldn't lust at you like I'm gonna lust at you. I'm just hopeless. I'm I have to lust at you because you're wearing not enough clothes.

He can't really blame his lust on her at the same time. She is tempting him right. She is a real temptation real source of temptation. There's God in any sense look at that encounter and say You know you were the catalyst for that yes, okay?

So you think about the nature of Clothing. Clothing is a need in a fallen world and the reason why clothing is need in the fallen world is because men women are Different. That's the way it works. Let's talk about some of those differences, and I want us to reflect on some of those differences.

So testosterone and estrogen are present in both men and women. But the levels and effects differ significantly by gender so testosterone men have about 10 to 20 times more testosterone than women. That's crazy, I mean if you're a guy you know this I'm just trying to say it's crazy.

Isn't it it drives sexual desire competitiveness aggression and supports muscle mass and bone density? In men higher testosterone is closely tied to higher baseline levels of sexual interest and assertiveness.

Estrogen. Women have higher levels of estrogen which fluctuates during their menstrual cycle and plays a central role in reproductive health. Emotional regulation and nurturing behaviors well estrogen influences sexual interest.

It tends to do so indirectly often. Linked to specific phases of the cycle, okay? What does that mean in real life? That means that men think about this topic. The young men particularly think about this topic all day long every day.

Women typically think about this topic. At regular intervals in the month, right? That's the way God made it okay.

So.

Think about this the fall it distorts sex by associating nakedness with shame, but it introduces the need for boundaries for nakedness. That God has made us to be biological creatures. We're biological creatures.

Testosterone brings certain temptations to men. Estrogen brings certain temptations to women. I Think sometimes we're 10. We're tempted to downplay these temptations that are result from our biological makeup.

You know that when I do counseling, and I've done counseling with women I Always put a tissue box Next to the woman. Because I'm pretty confident that at some point during this counseling encounter that the woman will cry.

I Almost never. I mean I never put a tissue box next to the men because that almost doesn't happen. It's not really a fault. I don't have that basic kind of consideration. Do we expect women to control?

Their hormone like the influence of their hormones in their life. Sure I think so just because You're going through your menstrual cycle that doesn't give you a blank pass just to emote however you want to emote.

Do you have biological temptations that they're gonna make it up and down sure. Do you have biological temptations after? You have a baby due to hormonal changes and even during having a baby to be up and down emotionally sure.

So should we should we expect women to be able to Manage those hormonal changes, I think so yeah, do we as do we as a church not really? We don't often okay. We don't but I mean should we have some expectation that you act like a sanctified person despite the fact that your hormones? Are doing weird things.