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I put this bullet point in the wrong spot here.
It's a little bit of what I actually meant to quote here. But, oh yeah, very nice verse. Bless those who curse you, bless those who do not curse you, rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
So we're encouraged by scripture to not only mourn our own losses, but also to mourn with other people.
Their losses.
So mourning is good. The shortest verse in the Bible, it says, Jesus himself died, okay?
Jesus himself was born, and he mourned,.
Even knowing that he was about to bring Lazarus back. Okay, so mourning is good. God has given us what he desires that we mourn,.
The things that should be mourned.
But, this all needs to be guided by hope and self-control. First Thessalonians 4 .13 says, we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep. We do not grieve as others do who have no hope.
Okay, so the world grieves as people who have no hope. They have no hope of resurrection. There's nothing off in the future that's going to correct this. There's no chance for it, either the person that they have lost to come back from the dead,.
Or themselves to come back from the dead.
Okay, there's only gloomy despair. But the Christian, even if you've lost someone who didn't have that hope, you know that you will be together with Christ, together with all your brothers and sisters in him for all eternity.
And that limits the power that in this life, it's just not becoming for a Christian to go on mourning forever and ever and ever. All right, consider, imagine if you met one of the CEOs of one of these big tech companies around here, and you saw him, and he was dressed like a homeless man, had, you know, beans in his hair,.
And was just going around angry all the time, just,.
You know, you would say, well, this is not very becoming of one of the world's wealthiest people, right? This is not becoming of a wealthy man. This is what it looks like when a Christian goes on mourning in that way, this is not becoming of a Christian, this is not becoming of someone who has the greatest hope in the world, just like a wealthy person has more money than almost anybody, shouldn't live in a state of squalor like a poor man, it's not reasonable for someone who has the greatest hope in the world to live as someone who has no hope.
And so, what the Bible says about our duty toward contentment the reason why a lot of people end up mourning for excessive periods of time, and we'll talk about what the excessive period looks like in a minute, but one of the reasons why people mourn for excessive periods of time is because they believe that something else would be better.
Now, God is sovereign, he has determined all things, from the day he existed, he worked all things together for good and those above, but a lot of people think often that they know better, and this trial is not actually good, but that, the Bible says in the trial, James 1, 17, in the context of trials, it says that every good and perfect gift is from above, coming from the father and wife, there is no shadow of change, right?
So God is one who isn't changing, he is one who is always good, and that includes even when we experience these differences, right? They're not differences to God, he's constantly unchanging. When we are experiencing a changing world, it's not kind of his goodness in the gifts he's giving us.
If he gives us something that everyone can recognize as a blessing one minute, and he gives us trial next, that doesn't mean that he's any less good.
Or that what he's giving is any less good,.
But the reason why people mourn, definitely, is often because they struggle to realize that all his gifts are good, including trials. Job, when he loses his children, when he loses his wife, when he loses his possessions, what does he end up saying?
Lord gives, the Lord takes away, thus speaketh the name of the Lord. No, he understands that everything from God's hand is good, you know, as you look through Job, you can get his doubting back, God corrects him, you know, really, I do know what I'm doing, Job.
What does he say about God, he says, okay, I quiet myself down, you know what you're doing. God knows what he's doing, if we trust in him and his sovereignty, that keeps the power of grace from us, being able to oppress us.
And then, Laura, you know, I talked about self-control, God has given us a spirit, by the spirit, by what talks about the fruit of the spirit being a love, joy, and peace, faithfulness,.
Faithfulness, faithfulness, yes.
So God has given us self-control,.
And there's no reason to be uncontrolled in the way to be, in the way to be free from war. So what does a healthy period of grieving look like? The Bible doesn't give us a strict command that says we can grieve for exactly this many days, but it does give us a few examples in scripture, and I think it's worth looking at those examples.
Now, a lot of people would say,.
Are those supposed to be prescriptive for us, or are they just descriptive of what happens? A little of both, okay? The Bible excludes a lot of narratives that aren't necessarily telling us what's right and wrong,.
You know, you see Solomon have 1 ,000 wives,.
Does that mean that we should have 1 ,000 wives?
Okay, that's not necessarily.
How you should be reading scripture. At the same time, 1 Corinthians 10 tells us.
That it was given as an example for us, right?
That all the stories of the Old Testament.
Were given as examples for us.
So we are supposed to be reading these in ways.
That are guiding and instructing us.
So if you see, sex is periods of time, the Bible is describing as a formative, and putting in formative situations, and maybe it should direct us to think, well, maybe this can inform the way we think.
And ask yourself, as we look at these,.
Does this match up with what you think it does?
The first one I'm gonna look at is with Jacob. So this is the longest period of mourning we've seen. When Jacob died, it says, this is Genesis 50, then Joseph fell on his father's face, his father being Jacob, and wept over him and kissed him.
And Joseph commanded his servants,.
The physicians, to embalm his father.
So the physicians embalmed Israel,.
Israel being another name for Jacob. 40 days were required for it,.
For that is how many are required for embalming.
And the Egyptians wept over him 70 days.
So this is extreme mourning. This is, you know, this is not just a king in Israel,.
This is Israel himself. And this is the longest period of mourning. So you have the Egyptians who all were very blessed by Joseph and his work there in Egypt, mourning over Jacob for 70 days. Now the next length of time we have in scripture is in Numbers 20 at the very end.
This is Aaron's death. And when all the congregation saw that Aaron had perished, all the house of Israel wept for Aaron 30 days.
Okay, so 30 days long.
And then at the end of Deuteronomy, Moses dies. It says,. And the people of Israel wept for Moses and the plains of Moab 30 days. And the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended. And then the last one that I'm gonna hear,.
That I would like to read here,.
Is about Saul and his sons. It says, and they took their bones and buried them under the Tammarus tree in Jabesh and fasted seven days. So you have 70 days for Jacob, you have 30 days for Moses and Aaron, and then you have seven days for Saul.
So what should this tell us about the length of time of mourning? Is 10 years a reasonable time of mourning? I think those would all tell us no. Is a year a reasonable time to be mourning such that it's crippled you and you're not able to go about your normal tasks?
Now, I'm not saying that sadness won't continue.
Or you won't have fond memories that you wish, or whatever the case may be, but should these things keep you from being able to go about the task for a year? I'd say no. Then we could ask about three months.
Without three months, that's something where a lot of people would say, well, three months is totally graceful.
You look at these periods in scripture.
And this isn't keeping them from doing things with August. I would encourage you to not think just culturally about how you see people mourned in a world where we kind of have the luxury to be introductive for large periods of time, where we have a lot of people who are not necessarily, we live in a world that's very soft right now, right?
Everybody wants to affirm,.
There's a lot of affirmation that's going around. Very little desire to say harder things to people that might need to be said. So consider that as you consider what scripture says about periods of time to mourn as you think.
While I may be sad for a long period of time, is it right for this to cripple me for so long?
And it doesn't have to have that power in you.
If you have the spirit of self-control.
If you're in Christ, you do.
And if you're in Christ, you have a perfect hope that shatters the hopelessness that would oppress someone in this way. What is the cure for all this? What is the cure for all this? Well, one of the cures, the Bible says, believe it or not, is marriage.
One of the losses that we have in Genesis is the loss of Sarah, Abraham's wife. And at the end of this, Isaac is very upset about this. At the end of all this, it says in Genesis 24, 67, that Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah, his mother.
This is talking about Rebekah, his wife, that he's marrying her. Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah, his mother, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
Now, a lot of people are trying to comfort themselves by avoiding the pursuit of marriage, right? For long, long periods of time, that's how they're trying to comfort themselves. What's the comfort we see in Scripture?
It's actually the pursuit of marriage.
It's the exact opposite.
People have turned it on its head. So what should you do if you want to do one? Actually, before I start going through that, let me just say that there is a time and season.
For everything.
Ecclesiastes 3 .1 says, for everything, there is a season, and a time for every matter and spirit. In verse four of Ecclesiastes 3, it says,.
A time to weep and a time to laugh,.
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
And how do you know what time it is?
You need to be sensible to the Word of God and His Spirit,.
So you know what time it is.
When is it a time of laughter?
And should we be stuck in the past.
In a way that keeps us from moving into the future? Ecclesiastes, later on in chapter seven, verse 10 says, say not to either the former days that are to be, for it is not the wisdom that you ask of me.
Okay, so a lot of people want to linger in the past, but that's not wise to do so. So how do you move on? How do you move on from some kind of loss that is crippling you, that's keeping you from doing the tasks that you need to do?
The first one is that you need to develop that sense of hope and alert in your eyes based upon what is good, what is what you have in store for you in Jesus Christ, rather than what you have lost. So if you spend time in prayer and the Word of God, these things are helpful, not as magic houseman or anything like that, but because God has determined that the way we encourage is by continually reminding ourselves of the truth that is His hope, that turns us away from hopelessness.
Now also, He's given us various ways to, various things to do in our lives, various tasks in order to join the world around us.
Ecclesiastes talks about this too,.
About how it's good for man to work and enjoy the fruit of his labor. So the tasks that God has given you, once again, if you want to avoid those.
In order to comfort yourselves,.
Or if you actually want to, Ephesians says, leave no longer steel, but love him. Leave no longer steel, but rather love him, and let him go on his work with his own hands if you want something to share with anyone in need.
Now the reason I read that verse.
Is because it gives us this dynamic.
Between stopping to do something.
And then starting to do something else. And this is something you see throughout scripture. It talks about putting off the old man, putting on the new man, right? So putting off the old man is to stop excessive mourning.
What do you mean to put on him? What do you do instead of excessive mourning? Well, the thief is supposed to not steal, and is supposed to replace that activity with something else, right? Not just not steal.
He's supposed to work hard.
So that he can share with others.
What should the excessive mourner do? Perhaps they should be thinking of ways to make him bring joy into people's lives.
Maybe they should be thinking about.
How they can increase the joy of others as well as their own joy. And so, you know, if you find yourself stuck in a pit like that, do consider how you can not just dwell in your own sorrow, but think about how you can make sure that others are joyful.
A lot of times this is what counsel players will prescribe for people dealing with any problem. A lot of people's problems are because.
They're so focused on themselves, right?
They're just overwhelmed by anxiety, they're overwhelmed by sorrow, they're overwhelmed by whatever it is. Once they stop thinking about themselves so much, a lot of that stuff clears up very nicely. And this is the way that God has ordered it.
As we look outside of ourselves,.
As we seek first the kingdom of God, all these other things that are happening to us. And then, this is something worth pursuing. You know, whoever finds a light, finds a good thing. It is worth it to pursue it, to pursue marriage.
And consider also that joy comes from Jesus Christ.
In John 15, 11, it says, these things I have spoken to you that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full. Jesus has spoken to us, he has given us his word,.
He has given us a way to abide.
In the world that we might have complete joy. He is here, he came in order for our joy, deep, just the whole shape of his ministry. What's the first miracle he does? He turns water into wine at a wedding, right?
Because he is the joyful briber, the one who brings joy. The master of the feast ends up talking to the groom, because this is the groom's responsibility.
He says, you've saved enough for last.
So, Jesus is positioning himself as the briber who is bringing joy. And then, how does he provide joy to the church? In the end of the New Testament, it is by that marriage, it is by that peace that he's prepared.
It is by uniting them together, and that's what we long for, what we wait for. It's that joy, that comfort that comes.
From the ultimate marriage.
And, if that's the shape of the New Testament, Ephesians 5 tells us that we should understand marriage in light of the marriage between Christ and the church. How much more does that apply to our pursuits of marriage in this world?
That for joy, it's thinking rightly about marriage,.
Thinking rightly about hope,.
And in pursuing the good things that God has given us.
So, may the Lord return quickly. Amen, let me pray for us. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this people, thank you for the great joy that you've given us in Jesus Christ, and we do long for that day.
We pray that you would hasten the day that Christ returns,.
And we ask that you would help us think rightly in this world about grief, about sorrow, about mourning, and about marriage. Jesus, amen. So, we've got some discussion questions, as per usual. So, go ahead and spend a little time talking about those.
Let's do a Q and A, and then we'll go back.