The Mystery of Christ in Marriage

Silicon Valley Reformed Baptist Church

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Good morning, beloved. Please turn to your

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Bibles and Ephesians chapter 5. We're going to be wrapping up this topic that Paul brilliantly lays out for us in chapter 5 of marriage.

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Today's message is going to be called The Mystery of Christ in Marriage. We're going to be examining and reading this morning, preaching from chapter 5, verse 20 to 33.

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But please read alongside with me, starting in verse 22. Please do stand for the reading of God's Word. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22.

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Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its

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Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

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Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the

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Word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

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In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

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Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

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This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

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However, let each of you, each one of you, love his wife as himself.

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Let the wife see that she respects her husband. This is the Word of the Lord. Please be seated.

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Let us pray. Father, in Jesus' name, we come before you, knowing, Lord, that you're the only true and proper sovereign, that to you every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that you are

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Lord to the glory of the Father. Now, glorious Savior, bestow on us the good gift of thy

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Holy Spirit to lead us in all truth, to illuminate in our hearts and our minds the truth of your

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Word. Help us, Lord, to lay aside every sin, every high and lofty thought that would so easily entangle us and also distract us from your

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Word and message this morning to the church. It is in Jesus' name that we approach you and ask these things.

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Amen. Well, beloved, last week I had the privilege to present to you a word about marriage, and this week

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I have the same task again to bring you a word about marriage. And I have to preface this again by saying

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I am not the perfect messenger in this regard. Just yesterday, by God's grace, my wife and I celebrate 11 years of marriage, and I would be lying to you if I came to you this morning and saying that it has been maritable bliss, that it's been perfect, that there hasn't been any problems in our marriage or in our relationship or in our parenting, in our walk with Jesus.

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The reality is that I, too, am a weak and feeble man, married to another weak and feeble person made in God's image.

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And the reality is that we're all weak because of the curse of Adam, because of the fall. We all have our issues.

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We all have our hang -ups. We all have our sins that we contend with. Yet what's laid out for us in Holy Scripture is not only ideal, but it is, in fact, the will that God is working out throughout all of his people.

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And so I want to encourage you today that if you find yourself married, you've been married either for a short time or a long time, there's grace for you wherever you may be in that marriage.

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There's power to be experienced in our regeneration, our sanctification, as we become more like Jesus so that in our marriages, in our relationships, and this isn't just for married people, this is for those who are single or at any stage of life, these principles are for all of us.

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And God, through his regenerative work, through the Holy Spirit, will empower us to be this and more for his kingdom.

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We're examined again in chapter 5, and starting in verse 25, notice what Paul says to the husbands, to the men.

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Last week, we focused a lot on the women. This week, we're going to focus a lot on the husbands and the responsibility that we as husbands, as men have in a godly marriage and in the culture.

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Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

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So last week, I said, husbands, when you hear the message, wives, submit to your husbands, don't go elbowing saying, hey, did you hear what pastor said?

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Now, you've got to listen. You've got to do what pastor says. It's in the Bible, because the same is true for you.

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The part that your wife can actually nudge you a little bit is in part that says, husbands, love your wives.

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Now, why does Paul have to say this? Doesn't it sound pretty obvious? That, yeah, you get married, therefore, you love that person.

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So, obviously, you love that person, and you are to continue to love that person. But I'm going to give a word here to the women.

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Ladies, it is not always easy for men to love. I'm just going to put that out there.

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It's not always easy for us to love, because men and women have very different love languages. We don't always, you know, our levels of intimacy are a little bit different.

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Men and women, despite what the culture says, we are different, and we're different in a lot of ways. And one of the ways in which we're different is that we examine and experience and do love a little bit differently than women, which is why

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Paul has to remind the brothers in the church to love your wife.

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Because sometimes, as men, we can get so caught up in the minutiae of life and saying, well, what do you mean love?

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I mean, I'm paying the bills, aren't I? Taking out the trash, aren't I? I'm doing all these things.

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Well, you know, if you can't tell that I love you, like, what do you mean? Right? Because we are, as men, we like to demonstrate more than talk or feel.

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We are doers. We do. We'll take out the trash. We'll take you out.

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We'll do what is required. But sometimes that's at the cost of the emotional support that women need.

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And so, brothers, this is why the Lord is instructing us to love your wife. And love your wife not in any way that you find fit, but in a very particular way.

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Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. If you're following along in today's teaching, husbands are to love their wife in the same way as Christ loves his church.

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Now, how does Christ love the church? How has he demonstrated his love for us? Does not the scripture say in Romans 5 that while we were yet sinners,

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Christ died for us? And in this, the love of God has been revealed, that God came in the person and work of Jesus to live the life that you could not live, to die the death that you deserve, was raised again to glory in the third day.

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And in this way, he's demonstrating his love for us. And notice what

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Christ did in John chapter 14 through chapter 16. Jesus instructing his disciples, saying that there will be a promised one, that he will soon be lifted up out of the earth, that he will soon not be in the midst of disciples.

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But he says, I will not leave you bereaved. That is to say, I will not leave you without emotional, spiritual support, but I will send to you another, a comforter, the helper, the

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Holy Spirit, who I send and who was sent from the Father. In the same way, husbands, we are to love our wives.

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We are to be a support. We are to be a blessing. We are to lead them in the way of scripture, in the way of God's love.

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And in verse 28, we find this important verse again to the husbands.

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Verse 28 says, in the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

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So Paul is saying, okay, gentlemen, if you're not getting it, if you can't really relate to what

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I've said previously, that you have to love your wife as Christ loved the church, maybe you'll understand it this way.

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Love your wife as if she's your own flesh. Okay, that gives me something to work with.

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I can, I know how I care for myself. One man, a man ought to know how he cares for himself, the attention that he gives to himself, the care that he gives to himself.

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Therefore, in that same manner, you are to love your spouse, love your wife as if she is your own body.

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Body. So when you're hungry, you bring her something. When you are struggling, when you are tired, how you treat yourself should be in a similar fashion, or not necessarily a complete similar fashion, because again, men and women are different.

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But what that means, we are to consider where our spouse is in that situation or in that time of life.

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Again, verse 28 gives us a very good insight into this picture of loving our wives as a man is to love his own body.

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He who loves his wife loves himself, Paul says. He who loves his wife loves himself.

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Now again, men and women are different. Men, you know, men can be a little conceited, and when you look at the average morning, maybe even in our families,

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I might be a little bit guilty of this where, you know, I'm getting dressed, I'm getting ready, I'm ready to go, and I'm wondering like, what's taking my wife so long while she's in the back getting together four children, getting them dressed, getting them cared for, getting their breakfast?

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And I'm wondering like, what is she taking so long? And I'm just looking at myself in the mirror, you know, going like, okay, looking good, okay, ready to go.

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And brothers, we have to be aware of that. We have to be aware of the fact that we are not to leave our women, our wives bereaved with all the duties and chores, but that we too are to be loving them in the way that we support them, in the way that we care for them.

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And when your wife is struggling, we ought to be a support. You need to be the support for your wife.

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You need to be the anchor that leads her to the anchor, Jesus Christ.

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Which is why again, verse 29 then says, for no one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it as just as Christ does the church.

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For no one has ever hated his own flesh. You know, some people would say to me, pastor, I know a lot of people who hated their own flesh.

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People who have killed themselves, committed suicide, or mutilated themselves. Now, these are not new concepts. These are things that existed in the ancient world as well.

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Obviously, Paul is speaking in general terms. Generally, people do not hate their own flesh.

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And that is borne out in the witness of the fact that we all do all that we can to preserve our fleshly experience.

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We eat, we clothe ourselves, we bathe ourselves. We do all these things that show that our body is indeed of importance.

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In the same manner, we are to consider our spouse in all things. Just as we consider our own needs, our own hunger, our own desires, we are to consider the desires and needs of our spouse.

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In verse 29 again, it says, it shows us a picture that this is just as Christ does the church.

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So just as Christ loves the church, nourishes the church, protects the church, husbands, you have a duty to love, nourish, and protect your spouse.

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That is your duty. That is your responsibility. As a husband, one of the things

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I hate is seeing my wife disappointed. Back when we were maybe married for just a couple of months, when we first got married, we didn't have a vehicle.

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We didn't make enough money to afford a vehicle. And so, we were saving up, saving up. And I had a relative who was selling a car.

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And I said, okay, great. I said, I'll come, I'll buy that car. I'll come pick it up on the weekend.

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And so, you know, I had a friend drop me off at my cousin's house. And I go there with my wife, and we're going to pick up the car. And my cousin, like a not nice person that he was, sold the car before I even got there.

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And I just remember seeing the disappointment in my wife's face. I was like, I do not ever want to see that face again.

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And so, I want to do all that I can to protect her, to nourish her, to see her not in pain or in need.

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And that's our responsibility as men, is to protect, it's to provide. And though the culture may say to you that, oh, that's an antiquated system, that's an antiquated family model.

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This is a family model of antiquity, yeah. And it works. And it's what's right.

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And it's what's biblical. This is our duty before God and before man, is to be a provider for our spouse and to be her protector.

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The love of husbands for their wives is to be modeled on the love of Christ and the love that he has for his church.

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The love of Christ and his desire for his church are pictured in the preparation of a bride for her husband.

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Now, Paul, he goes on and he gives us this picture of husbands, how they should love their wives.

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And though there is a uniqueness in the application of what we see in verses 26 and 27 to the work of Christ and for his church, yet there seems to be an inevitability, the hint, that even if at an incomparably lower level, the husband is to love his wife, not just because of the beauty that he finds in her, but to make her more beautiful in presenting her to Christ.

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Now, this is a very key point, brothers and sisters. We don't marry our spouse. Maybe we initially marry our spouse because she's beautiful and she's lovely and she's all these things.

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But we don't, in marriage, we don't just marry and have a relationship because of one's beauty or standard of beauty, but instead to continue to beautify them in Christ.

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That is to help them become more like Jesus and that the more like Jesus they become, the more beautiful they truly become alongside us.

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The more like Jesus you, O man of God, become, the more beautiful you will be in all aspects of life.

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And the same is true for our spouse. The more that we love our spouse like Christ loves the church, we recognize that we are preparing them to meet

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Jesus. And that same goes is true for our children and how we rear them.

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How we raise our children matters because what we're doing is preparing them to meet Jesus.

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And the truth is this, every single one of us will meet Jesus. Every atheist, every

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Jehovah's Witness, every Muslim, every person who has ever lived shall stand before this

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Jesus that I preached to you. And they will stand either in the righteousness of their own saying, look

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Lord, I did this, I did that. And He will say to them, I never knew you. Depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.

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Or they will stand in the righteousness of Christ. And our work as husbands, our work as wives, our work as Christians, single or not, is to present ourselves and those around us to Jesus in a way that is approved.

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The Bible says this in Luke 21, that we ought to do all that we can to stand before the

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Son of Man approved. Are you approved? Does God approve of the way that you care for your spouse?

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Does God approve of the way that you're raising your children? Does God approve the way that you're walking in this crooked generation?

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May it be so. May He find us approved. And we can find ourselves approved by doing and following the caution and heed of Holy Scripture.

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To stand before the Son of Man approved. Not having a righteousness of our own, but a righteousness that comes through faith in Jesus Christ.

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Christ sees the church in all her weaknesses and failures, yet He loves her as His own body.

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Husbands, you are to look truly at your spouse. Recognize all their ups and downs, highs and lows, all their beauty and all their deformities, and love them just as Christ loves you.

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And in that, you find the blessing of marriage. That marriage, again, isn't about living happily ever after, but it's about living ever after through holiness.

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That's the purpose of marriage. It's to conform us to the image of Christ. And yeah, sometimes that means that there's going to be compromises.

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Does the Scripture not teach about us as disciples of Jesus Christ what the cost is and will be?

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That it will cost us our life? If you want to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, it'll cost you nothing less but your life.

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All things must come under the proper Lordship of Jesus. And if marriage is indeed a picture of that true and ultimate state that we look forward to before the

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Lamb and the Supper of the Lamb, the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, then too we must recognize that marriage also comes at a cost.

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That being covenant relationship with another person, say, I forsake all others and all other things in the pursuit of loving you and presenting you holy and blameless before Jesus.

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It'll come at a cost. It'll come at a cost. Therefore, we are to remember the love of Christ in our marriage.

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To find and remember our cause is to be found in true sanctification through the work of the

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Holy Spirit. And even so, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies, just as Christ loves the church as his own body.

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And such self -love is not wrong. When Paul says in verse 29, for no one has ever hated his own flesh but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, such self -love is not wrong.

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It's not immoral. It's not bad in any way.

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I mean, there can be, of course, severities and degrees of being haughty and conceited and saying and taking it to the extreme.

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But a man ought to love his own flesh. A man ought to care for his own body and his own needs.

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It is only true and right. And so, this self -love that we're commanded to have in scripture is not wrong, but it isn't true, isn't true, is in fact true and right, and it is the same way in which we are to love our spouse.

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And so, it is the law of life that the extension of it is similar to the care for another person's life.

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It's the law of marriage. But this point or this thought of the intimate care and love that a husband owes and should give to his partner,

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Paul cannot help but apply back to what is perfectly and more wonderfully true in Jesus Christ and true in the relationship between Christ and the church.

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Because all that Christ does for the church is for her good, for her edification, for her nourishment.

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If you're following along today's teaching, we are to nourish and cherish our marriage. Verse 30 says, because we are members of his body.

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We are members of his body. We are to nourish and cherish our marriage.

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Now, that's tough in a world, in the world that we're living in today. We're not taught to nourish or cherish, but when circumstances are no longer fitting to our wants and desires, the culture says that's enough to dissolve the covenant.

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When you're not meeting your needs, when your desires aren't being met, that's enough for me to walk away from the marriage.

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Again, I shared with you a scary statistic last week. Most marriages, 79 % of marriages end up in divorce.

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The underlining reason is irreconcilable differences, which is kind of a catch -all phrase to say essentially this,

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I was not happy in the marriage. And because I was not happy, that was grounds to dissolve the covenant.

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Brothers and sisters, this is why what's more important than happiness is holiness. God is more concerned about you becoming more like him than whether or not you're having a good or bad day.

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It's all about becoming and conforming to the image of our Savior.

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You have to conform yourself to Christ's image to see the true beauty of a nourishing and cherishing marriage.

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Now, there's an intimacy that we have as believers and that we're being united together in one body, and the intimacy that we share as a church is a picture of a beautiful marriage, and precisely our marriage collectively as a church to Christ who is the bridegroom.

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There's an intimacy here also as Scripture speaks of Christians being in Christ, that intimacy, that relationship that you are in him and he is in you.

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This is language of marriage. This is what we see in the creation account in Genesis chapter 1, 2, and 3 of the union between man and woman.

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It's the same union that God in a more obviously spiritual sense is going to enjoy with us, that we are going to be joined to him.

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Just as a woman proceeded from man from his side, from his rib, so shall the church always be under the care and guiding protection of the

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Savior who made her. This climactic intimacy is experienced in marriage, but also pointing toward the final and climactic union of God dwelling with man.

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We look forward to that day when we stand before Jesus and we stand in him approved, but not only approved as sons, but also as his bride.

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We shall stand before him, holy and acceptable to him, and marriage prepares us for such a thing.

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Notice what it says in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 31, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

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Now Paul has been alluding to Genesis 2 verse 24 for the last several verses and finally he quotes from it.

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He goes to the establishment of marriage in the garden to demonstrate the uniqueness of this

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God -ordained union. So who has made, who has created, who has ordained marriage?

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Government or God? Clearly if we understand the scriptures properly, we understand that God is one who has instituted, created, and blessed it and set it apart.

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Marriage is from God. This is a good thing and it is a gift.

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So then only God has the right to determine what marriage is.

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And so in 2015 here in the United States, we had the Supreme Court decide to a different definition of marriage.

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We hold fast to the biblical definition of marriage and that's important in the world that we're living in because a stance like this could communicate to those outside the church that we are bigots, that we're not accepting, that we're homophobic, and those things are not true.

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The true bigotry is the one that tries to uproot the rule and the law of God because man is not fit to change the definitions of that which

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God has defined. The true bigot is the one who goes against God's word,

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God's law, and what he has determined is good. And so beloved, though we will receive pressure from the culture, specifically here in Silicon Valley, I was just reading the news and I think in San Jose there was a, you know, they had the gay pride parade and there was a straight pride parade.

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Only about 10 people showed up to that. But then you had about 200 protesters who came up to to counter -protest the straight pride parade.

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Now I think those things are silly. Gay pride, straight pride, these are cultural war issues.

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What we should be focused on is the gospel issue. What we should be focused on is what the word of God says.

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But yet what we see in the culture is that the minority now, those who believe in traditional marriage, are going to be looked upon as less than, as garbage, as bigots, as all these horrible things.

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And we as Christians in the midst of a hostile culture must stand firm and on the bedrock of biblical principles and on the gospel of Jesus Christ, that he changes not and that God has ordained for us what marriage is, specifically between one man and one woman for all of life.

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That is what God has blessed and ordained and has called it good. In fact, the Bible says that he who has found a wife has found a good thing.

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And yet if you found a contentious wife, it's better to live on the roof of your house than to live with a contentious wife.

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Which shows you that the, how marriage is just so fundamental to life. Even a good thing like marriage, because of the fall, because of the corruption of the flesh, can be bad.

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And yet we have to continue to strive towards his perfect holiness to which God has called us to.

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Creation demonstrates that man and woman must cling together.

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I want you to write that in there if you're following the notes. Creation demonstrates that man and woman must cling together, for they do in fact become one flesh.

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Man and woman must cling together, for they become one flesh. That's exactly what we see in Genesis 2 -4 as Paul quotes from it.

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He says, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast, cling to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

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The two shall become one. What a beautiful picture of the union that we will experience with the

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Lord in the eternal state, in the eternal realm. In the same way then,

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Paul begins to unravel this mystery in verse 32 saying, this mystery is profound. What mystery?

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What's the mystery that is profound that Paul is unraveling for us here in chapter 5?

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Well again, it's found again in verse 31 where he quotes from Genesis 2 -24, even our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, if you can turn to Mark 10, quotes from this text of scripture.

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And notice what the Lord Jesus says in Mark 10, verse 6 -9.

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After quoting from Genesis, actually I'll start in verse 6, just so we get the whole breadth of what

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Jesus is saying. But from the beginning of creation,

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God made them male and female. So brethren, when the world says that there's 72 genders, what's your response?

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The response ought to be what the scripture says. From the beginning, God made two genders, male and female.

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Verse 7 says, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

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So they are no longer two, but one flesh. And therefore what

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God has joined together, let not man separate. Let no man put asunder what

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God has brought together. Paul goes to the establishment of marriage in the garden.

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Jesus goes to the establishment of marriage to the garden to demonstrate the uniqueness of this God -ordained union.

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And that Jesus said of this union, that let no one, let no man put asunder, let no man separate.

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And yet you have a world, you have governments, you have a culture that wants to undo the entire fabric of marriage.

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You see, in 2015 when they passed the Supreme Court allowed for homosexual unions, they said, well, it's just going to be, we're just going to stop there.

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You know, it's just to get equal rights across the board. And here we are, seven years later, and we've got 72 genders.

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We didn't have 72 genders in 2015. We weren't having these discussions about what is a woman, what is a man.

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We weren't having these discussions. It shows the slippery slope of a culture that's in decline, of a culture that has moved away from Holy Scripture, from a culture that hates and is, in fact, rebellious against God's good word and his law for us.

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And seven years from now, you can expect even more levels of insane depravity, even more levels of insanity in the culture.

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And so, friends, stand firm. Stand firm in your convictions. But even more so importantly in regards to the context of this sermon, stand firm in your marriages.

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Stand firm. Because our marriages, our families are a bulwark against this work of Satan in the culture.

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It is a bulwark against the work of Satan in the government. It is a bulwark against this evil times in which we are in.

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Therefore, stand firm in your marriage. Stand firm in your families. Yet, there are things in the culture that we just mentioned and more that do attack the sacred union of marriage.

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I'm going to lay a few of them out for you. The most grave threat to our marriages, as Pastor Conley mentioned earlier in the teaching of the

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Catechism, is sexual morality. That is the gravest threat to our marriages.

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And what's interesting about sexual morality according to Scripture, he says, the Scripture says, every sin that is committed is committed outside the body, except for sexual morality.

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Sexual morality is a sin that involves the body and your most inward parts, your most inward being, and the inward parts and beings of another.

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And this is a grave, grave sin and error that we must guard against.

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Guard your heart against sexual morality of all kinds, of all sorts, whether it be pornography, whether it be adultery, whether it be anything that would defile the marriage bed.

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Scripture says that we are to keep the marriage bed undefiled. That means to keep it holy, to keep it honoring to Christ, that we would honor our spouse and honor our

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Savior even in the marriage bed. Another grave threat to our unions of marriage is the threat of idolatry.

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It's a threat of idolatry. Now, what does idolatry look like in the context of marriage? Well, it looks like maybe prioritizing other things that are not to be prioritized.

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Above and beyond your own marriage. And in life, that becomes so easy because life gets busy, life gets hard.

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We have jobs, we have responsibilities, we have duties, and sometimes we elevate those responsibilities and duties in place of our marriage and friends.

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Oftentimes, it is to the destruction of our own marriage that we do so.

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And we must guard our marriages, protect it, nourish it, bless it.

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Therefore, we must beware of the sin of idolatry. Along with that sin of idolatry comes the sin of neglect.

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Neglect is a huge aspect in which oftentimes marriages fall apart. And it's so easy to fall into a pattern of neglect emotionally, spiritually, because what happens is that we assume too much in our marriages.

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We know the person so well, so we just assume they felt this way. We just assume they're doing this or they're doing that.

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Brothers, especially, don't assume. Don't make assumptions. Speak to your wives.

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Ask them. Talk to them. See where their heart is in the matter. Search out their heart so you may be of one mind.

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Because scripture says that you're no longer two, but you are one. And if there's disunity in the oneness of the marriage union, there'll be disunity in all of your life.

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And so friends, pursue peace in the marriage. Pursue oneness in your marriages.

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And flee from the sins of sexual morality, idolatry, and neglect.

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And the other great threat that I want to address is the eventual outcome of many of these sins, which is, in fact, divorce.

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Our Lord does not rejoice in divorce. In Mark chapter 10, the verses we just read from Jesus, he's speaking in the context of the

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Jews trying to, you know, get Jesus to slip up and say something that would be erroneous or against the law.

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And he's trying to trap Jesus with the question of divorce. Now, the scripture says in Malachi, that God hates divorce.

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And divorce is oftentimes the outcome of a marriage that's in neglect, a marriage that's in decline, either because of sexual morality, idolatry, or neglect.

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But I would say to you and submit this to you, that divorce is a form of marital apostasy.

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That's a scary word, the word apostasy. The word apostasy in the Hebrew and the Greek just means a turning away.

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And when one divorces their spouse, they are turning away from the covenant and the vows they have made before man and God.

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It is a great danger. This is not honor in most cases, our Lord. Now, of course, there are times in which a divorce may be appropriate.

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But I would submit this to you, that divorce in any circumstance, whether there's grounds for it or not grounds for it, should always be, specifically if there is grounds for it, it should be a last resort, not a first.

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This shouldn't be our reflex to ever use those words, to ever come and jump to that conclusion.

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That because this happened, now this is the eventual outcome. And brothers and sisters, if you're struggling in your marriages, join the club, but also come to the people of God.

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Come to the people of God. Come to godly counsel. Come to your pastors. And we want to bless you and see your marriages flourish in a way that honors

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Christ and honors you in that relationship. This is why creation demonstrates again that man and woman must cling together.

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Therefore, put away the things that would separate you. Put away the things that would do harm to your most holy and precious union of marriage, because you are indeed one flesh.

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Now, is it any wonder that the same things that destroy a marriage are the same things that lead us to ruin and separation from Christ?

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Think about all the sins that could destroy a marriage. These are the same issues, the same sins that oftentimes separate us from the

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Lord. I want to tell you this as well, that your marriage, your relationships, are often a mirror of your spiritual walk with Jesus.

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When your marriage is rocky, it's very likely that your relationship with Jesus is rocky. Not always, but it's a good indicator.

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If you're struggling in your marriage, you're probably struggling to read the scriptures. If you're struggling in your marriage, you're probably struggling to pray.

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If you're struggling in marriage, you're probably struggling to get a church on time. There's so many things that our marriage, our union, is connected with that shows and is an outworking of our spiritual maturity and our need for sanctification and regeneration through faith in Jesus.

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So we are to cling to our spouse, but in the clinging to our spouse, we are to more even deeply cling to the one who holds you dear, even

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Jesus Christ our Lord. When you cling to Jesus, he will cling to you, and as you cling to Christ, you'll be able to cling and draw near to your spouse as God has intended and blessed.

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This is in the way that we honor Christ, in the way that God's Word becomes true, and that we are one flesh.

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The closest relationship that we have before marriage, for instance, is the one that we have of our parents, and we came from them.

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We are a result of that union of our father and our mother, and that is a close family bond that will not easily be broken, but the only bond in earthly terms that is even more powerful than that between a mother, father, and child is the bond between a husband and wife.

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You have two individuals with two different families, two different backgrounds, two different sets of genetics, and they come together and they produce offspring after their own image.

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You know, what's interesting is in Genesis chapter 5, we see a statement beginning in verse 1 that God, speaking again back to creation, saying that God made

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Adam and Eve in his own image and likeness, and then it says that when

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Adam began to procreate, that Adam produced offspring after his own image and likeness.

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This is the power of the union of marriage. It produces offspring after our own image, and obviously after the image of Christ, if we so lead them in the way that they should go, and because this bond of marriage is so powerful, it is not to be easily superseded, and it's not superseded by anything other than the bond that we have with Christ.

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Therefore, beloved, we must cling to our spouses, loving and leading them to present them more like Jesus on that great day.

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Verse 32 of Ephesians chapter 5 says, this mystery again is profound, referring back to the mystery, and that I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

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However, let each one of you love his wife as Christ, love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

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Brethren, marriage is a pattern, is a foreshadow. It is all part of the mystery of the divine plan of the ages and the mystery of in that God is bringing all things under the headship lordship of Jesus Christ.

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You and I shall be joined to him through faith in Jesus onto eternal life, and this faith that we have now as Christians ought to strengthen our marriages, ought to strengthen our relationships, ought to strengthen us as we rear our children the way that they should go.

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Marriage is indeed a great pattern. I want you to write this in there. The mystery is that the marriage is a divine pattern of our glorification and union with Christ.

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There's a sacred mystery at play here. I'm going to read to you what Paul says concerning this mystery elsewhere in 1

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Corinthians chapter 11. He says in 2

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Corinthians chapter 11 in verse 2, he says,

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For I feel a divine jealousy for you, Paul speaking to the church in Corinth, since I've athrowed you to one husband to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.

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How did Paul feel about the churches? How did Paul feel about the church in Corinth? Paul was jealous over them.

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This is the context of Paul rebuking the so -called super apostles, of Paul bringing forward, as we've been reading in our weekly groups, the sincerity of God's people, the sincerity of his ministry, his care for the people and for the bride of Christ.

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And he says that his aim, his goal, the reason for his divine jealousy is because he wants to present you, he wants to present the people of God as a pure virgin for Christ.

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This is part of the mystery, beloved, that some way, somehow, our marriages are a picture of that great day in which

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God will meet his people and marry and consummate with them for all eternity.

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There's a great mystery here. There's a great union that is spoken of in scripture that we cannot even begin to comprehend.

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And this mystery is pointing to our glorification and union with Christ.

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Because as those of us who know the scriptures and what it teaches in regard to what we call reformed theology or the doctrines of grace,

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God, through faith in Jesus Christ, regenerates a person, gives them a new heart to be able to confess the lordship of Jesus.

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And in that regenerating work, he begins to set you apart to sanctify you so you become more and more like Jesus.

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So that in your marriages, you look more like Jesus. In your businesses, you look more like Jesus. In your school, you look more like Jesus.

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In all that you do, in all that you carry, you look more like Jesus. This is your sanctification.

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And this is, in fact, what Paul says in 2 Thessalonians, this is the will of God for you, your sanctification.

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This is what God desires for you. This is God's will for you, that you become like him. And as you become more like Jesus, it is preparing us for glory.

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For glory. So live and receive this truth and recognize that your marriage, that your marriage is preparing you for glory.

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Hallelujah. It brings the true meaning of marriage out to its fullest extent, that my marriage is about the kingdom, that my marriage is all about Jesus, that my marriage is to bring me before Jesus, to be presented to Jesus, holy and spotless.

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This is why it is a huge responsibility, brothers and sisters, to get married, to be in a covenant relationship.

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It is not one that one should enter lightly. And again, if a person is single and they seek marriage and they desire marriage, you've desired and you're seeking a good thing.

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May the Lord continue to sanctify you so that as you prepare yourself to come into that holy union, you may come in into that holy union with great blessing and great reward.

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A good thing is worth waiting for. And a good thing is what

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God has prepared for his people in the mystery of marriage. Again, God has made the institution, he's blessed it.

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And right now, even through the preaching of this word, God is preparing you to be a bride for himself in Christ.

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Therefore, with great responsibility and care and nurture, we must look after our marriages, since it is a picture of Christ's love for his church.

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And the last thing we see here in verse 33, Paul gives another great warning, but also exhortation to the church.

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However, let each of you love his wife as himself. Again, he's hammering the same point three times already.

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And let the wife see that she respects her husband. Earlier in the message,

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I mentioned how men and women are different. Women need love. Men need respect.

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And when those two come together mutually, it is beneficial and a blessing to the marriage and to the marriage bed.

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So husbands, do not forsake the love that you are called to share of your wife. But wives, please respect your husbands, recognizing their headship over you, recognizing that God has ordained the family in a very particular way, that men are to be the leaders of their homes.

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And you respect them and you submit to them. But husbands, be someone who is worthy of submission.

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Be one who is gracious and kind and loving and who loves his wife as Christ loves the church.

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And in doing so, you will win your wife and wise. In doing so, by respecting your husbands, you will win your husbands.

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And all these things glorify our Lord and our Savior, Jesus Christ, who again is a

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Savior, who lived the life that you and I could not have lived, holy, perfect, without sin. So much so that when

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John the Baptist saw him, he says, Behold the name of God who takes away the sins of the world. And this Jesus died a ransom sacrifice for you and I, meaning that he died in our place so that the death that you deserved, the punishment for sin that was rightfully yours,

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Christ took upon himself. And then he, by faith in him, we can not receive the wrath of God, but instead be changed from the inside out, be born again.

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And this is the invitation for you, not only to prepare yourselves for marriage, not only to prepare your life to be presented before Christ, but that you be presented before him today, holy and blameless through the substitutionary atonement of Jesus Christ.

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May you know him today in the power of his resurrection. Let me pray. Lord, we do give thanks to you, our

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Lord and our Redeemer, true God, for all that you have done in the midst of your people to present us holy, perfect, without blemish before the

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Savior, Jesus Christ. We thank you, Lord, that you are working in us, despite our proclivities, our sin, despite our arrogance, despite the hardness of heart, you are working in us that which is pleasing in your sight, so that on that great day in which all men, women, and children will stand before the throne, we can stand before the

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Son of Man approved, not in our own righteousness, but the righteousness that comes through faith in Jesus.

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Lord, help us in our marriages. Help us when we struggle. Help us husbands,

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Lord, who struggle to love. And Lord, help our wives to recognize the proper headship and order of the family and to respect what

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God has ordained. Lord, help us in our roles to become more like you, whether as husbands or as wives, whether as single persons or as persons who are married.

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We pray, God, that you'd work in us this glory, this pattern that we've been seen and taught in Scripture, that a godly marriage is a marriage of love and respect.

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And so, Lord, help us to find this truth, to store it in our hearts, and to live it out for your glory and your kingdom's sake.