Sunday, August 27, 2023 PM

God being our Father, before we start talking about how the Christian family relates. Keeping our focus on Christ.

Now, verse 18 says, Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the

Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter towards them.

Verse 20, Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the

Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.

Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh. Not with eye service as men pleasers, but in sincerity of heart fearing

God. And whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the

Lord you'll receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done and there is no partiality.

Masters, give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a master in heaven.

So, after talking about what true spiritual life is, what true holiness is, as a renewal into the image of the invisible

God who is Jesus Christ, it is not keeping your box of do -nots, it is not getting into strange things like angel worship or mysticism and so on, but it is keeping our focus upon Christ who is at the right hand, and that this renewal is putting off the old man, but putting on the new man in Christ.

Therefore, here's what it looks like in the church, and here's what it looks like in the household. And a household, at this time, would consist of husband and wife, parents and children, and slaves.

It's a very common structure for a household. The Greek word for household is oikonomos, where we get our word economy from.

Any idea of the economy or business was all completely encapsulated in the household.

What is it that the man does? Is he a blacksmith? Is he a farmer?

What does he do? Does he make tents? What is his trade? He is not only teaching that to his sons, but he is incorporating the work of the slaves for the betterment of the business.

Now, everything going on in the home, between husband and wife, and parents and children, and master and slaves, every single one of those relationships, every which way you count it, all six ways, all six directions, has to be done in light of the primary relationship that we read about in verse 17.

Doing all in the name of the Lord Jesus. Oh, so there's seven relationships. How fitting.

Every single time, it's our relationship to Christ that matters, that puts into perspective our relationship to everyone else, whether in the church or in the household.

And in particular, thinking about the wisdom and the rightness, the godliness of honoring father and mother.

Here we see, Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the

Lord. Having that trajectory is something that parents are to teach their children what obedience looks like.

What is honoring father and mother look like? It's not simply trying to figure out the letter, not trying to figure out the letter of the law, trying to figure out what is sufficient, what's enough, but teaching them to aim past mom and dad's eyeballs, mom and dad's preferences, mom and dad's attention.

The honor would be ultimately unto Christ, because one day, these children are no longer going to be in your home.

So teaching them to honor Christ through their obedience to you is latching them on to someone greater than you, someone who will be their shepherd providentially by God's grace in the future.

This is very much what echoes out of Ephesians 6. So you're reminded that this is right, this is good, that children obey their parents.

Christ, who is the image of the invisible God, obviously honored his father, he honored his earthly parents.

He is the definition of what godliness is. Anything that is in the image of God is also what is godly.

You think of what godliness is, what does that mean? It means being conformed to the image of God. That's what is right, that is what is fitting.

Christ himself is the standard as the fulfillment of the law, as the end of the law unto righteousness for all who believe.

Now, by way of contrast, after hearing that how right it is that children honor their parents, that children obey their parents, let's consider something of a contrast.

Remember that the way that it worked in the old covenant is, if children did not honor their parents in the old covenant, well, in extreme cases, they could be put to death.

But in the terms of the covenant, it meant that it would not go well for the nation.

It would not go well for them, and they would have to end up forfeiting the land in which they lived. It's that knew not

God, who would worship idols and so forth, and that God's covenant curses would assuredly come upon the nation, and that they would eventually lose their land.

So that would be the consequences of it. Now, let's think about the wisdom of that.

So let's look over in Romans chapter 1. In Romans chapter 1, verses 18 through 32, we read about the wrath of God.

And we know it's about the wrath of God, because that's how verse 18 starts. For the wrath of God is revealed.

The wrath of God is made manifest, shows up and is made clear in the following way, against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness.

And what truth did they suppress? The worthiness and the glory of God. Rather than worshiping the creator, they worship the creation, they become idolaters, they're wise in their own eyes, but yet they are fools.

And then what happens? How is the wrath of God manifested? How is the wrath of God shown? Where do we see the wrath of God upon those, who suppress the truth, who deny their creator, and rather become infatuated and worship the creatures and the creation?

What happens? Verse 24. Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness in the lust of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves.

He gave them up to the uncleanness. You see, the uncleanness was there. The desires for sin were there.

In these depraved hearts, there is the desire to go after all manner of uncleanness, and perversion, and abomination, and apparently

God, in His grace, restrains and restrains, in His mercy

He restrains, but then in judgment, He removes the restraint.

So that, that which they were never able to indulge in and go after, suddenly the restraint is gone, and they plunge towards more sin.

That is an expression of the wrath of God. This is not a unique passage, as often

God's judgment upon His own people Israel was to give them that which they were clamoring for.

A king like the other nations, that was a judgment upon them. Or, so much quail that it came out their nose.

Whatever it was. Now look in verse 26. An echo of the expression in verse 24.

For this reason God gave them up to vile passions, and then you see that these vile passions are described as sexual perversions.

But notice in the passions first, in the body second, both are the expression of the wrath of God that He would give them over to it.

To give them over to it. Meaning that there is no more restraint against it, there is no more fight against it, but an embracing of it and an owning of it.

And then verse 28. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge,

God gave them over. So you hear the pattern, God gave them up, God gave them up, God gave them over to a debased mind to do those things which are not fitting.

And a whole big long list follows. There's all kinds of things which are not fitting.

All kinds of things that are not in accordance to God's design for those made in His image.

To love Him supremely and love each other rightly and steward the creation responsibly. Here is a list that goes against that design.

That which does not fit with God's design. Being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil mindedness.

They are whisperers, back biters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things.

What's the next thing? Disobedient to parents. Undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful who knowing the righteous judgment of God that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

When was it that we began to see in the expressions of our culture, in the arts and media and so on, a grand celebration of rebellion to parents?

When was that like, oh, the hero is a rebel to authority?

Comes in cycles, doesn't it? You see expressions of it in the 20s, you see expressions of it in the 60s.

What do we have in the 20s? We have the feminist revolution in the 60s, the sexual revolution.

Every single time there is a need to press forward into more abomination what accompanies it is rebellion to parents, rebellion to parents, rebellion to parents.

And rebellion to parents is something that is a heartbreak every time you hear about it but it's ubiquitous as divorce, oh, that's just normal.

But that's not normal to God. He says that's not fitting. That's not fitting. So, when we think about how it worked in the old covenant that if you didn't honor father and mother what would happen to the land, what would happen to the blessings and so on we see that the wisdom of that is clear in every culture where I just read that whole list of things how long will that kind of a culture proceed, survive, continue?

You know, wildfires make an impact but they go out eventually. No more.

And what do they leave behind? Not much. Right? So, we see the importance of teaching our children to obey.

Boy, that's hard work. That's hard work. But one more passage over in 2

Timothy 3 in verse 2 just real quickly it's the same thing as in Romans 1 verse 2 says men will be lovers of themselves lovers of money 2

Timothy 3 verse 2 men will be lovers of themselves lovers of money, boasters, proud blasphemers, disobedient to parents unthankful, unholy, unloving unforgiving, slanderers, without self -control brutal, despisers of good traitors, headstrong, haughty lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God having a form of godliness but denying its power and from such people turn away so disobedient to parents is in the grocery cart of all kinds of cultural decay all kinds of disaster for humanity the snares of sin so contrast there when you read the blessings of Christ our

King at the right hand of God and having our attention upon him and being delivered from the old man being put on the new man a renewal in Christ in which there is no distinction because we're all in Christ and what it looks like the vibrant life and love that is present within the church family and then present within the regular family and then you contrast that to these lists it's just completely two different worlds and obedience to parents and honoring parents belongs definitively to one and not to the other now parents if you teach your children to honor their father and mother and you teach them to honor father and mother, honor father and mother honor father and mother and let's say by God's grace this lesson takes hold succeeds you know what they might end up doing later on in life they might honor father and mother what does that look like let's look over in Mark chapter 7 verses 9 -13 alright so Jesus had just quoted

Isaiah saying that these people honor me with their lips but their heart is far from me so they say well we're following the regulations here

I don't want your regulations I want your heart and so what does he give an example as one of the examples he gives is in verse 9 he said to them all too well you reject the commandment of God that you may keep your tradition for Moses said honor your father and your mother and he who curses father and mother let him be put to death but you say if a man says to his father or mother whatever prophet you might have received from me is

Corbin that is a gift to God then you no longer let him do anything for his father or his mother making the word of God of no effect through your tradition which you have handed down and many such things you do

Jesus is pointing out at the first point that the Pharisees and the scribes who are claiming to be the followers of Moses the defenders of the law that they're the ones who are setting the example and Jesus himself is the one who is aberrant you know and people need to reject him because we really have it have a law understood we really follow it

Jesus is pointing out that for all of their claims of following the law of course they don't and they have found workarounds and ways to make it look like they're following the law but they're actually not so Jesus is pointing out you're saying you're doing the right thing but you're not and one of the things he brings up is a tradition wherein they're saying well you know honoring

God is primary to honoring father and mother so if the money I had set aside to take care of my parents in their time of need in their old age if I have dedicated that to God well you know

God is more important than father and mother who could possibly complain about that truth therefore

I don't have that anymore to take care of father and mother and Jesus uses this as an example of how they are actually not following the law so when we think about the wisdom of what goes on here the example of Christ on the cross shedding his blood for the new covenant he points to John make sure that he's going to take care of Mary we have all this example if you teach your children to honor father and mother when they get to later on in your life they may try to honor father and mother don't be surprised what does that look like well

I think it looks like children taking care of parents all the more directly and thoroughly and fully as parents get older and cannot provide for themselves that's what

I think it looks like and I think that this is something that we have not done a lot of good thinking about I think it's good examples in our church but I think

I'm talking about Christians in general I think there's been a lot of teaching and discipleship lost in generations about this very fact we're going to look at another passage in 1st

Timothy 5 in a moment what did it look like what does it look like for for children to honor their parents in their time of need well

Jesus directly speaks against trying to spiritualize matters to say well I'm I'm serving the

Lord so I can't really help you out Jesus doesn't like that at all and another parallel passage in another gospel it says he was indignant means he got angry he got angry when they refused to bring the little children to him and he got angry when children didn't take care of their parents he also got angry when they defiled the temple so you can kind of see what makes

Jesus angry it's interesting isn't it what does it look like let me tell you what

I'm doing, Beck and I are doing we are trying to teach our children generationally we would like to see our children's children our grandchildren taking care of our children now that's going to look different for each family and each situation but I do know the closer that the generations are together the better every time

I hear of children taking care of their parents I rejoice that is honoring to God now what does that look like it may look a little different from family to family but you know somehow because of economics somehow because of the state economy not the family economy but the state economy we have gotten the idea that a wise man takes his inheritance and he uses it for himself and his children's children will do the same right

I'm thankful that my grandfather didn't believe that you know he knew that a wise man leaves an inheritance to his children's children wow so my brother and I and our cousin

Emily are greatly blessed because of that you know and what does that mean okay now I get to use this for me nope guess what in God's grace

I'm going to have children's children how am I living now for their good how am

I thinking generationally right because I want to be wise and I want to make sure to do whatever

I can so that my children will be able to prosper and thrive as parents do but then at some point

I'm not going to be able to provide for myself or I may be gone in heaven and Becca won't be able to provide for herself so what's the biblical wisdom there the parents are to honor their the children are to honor their parents see but what if I'm old and I'm infirm what if I can't do very much well

I guess I may have to humble myself you know I'm gonna have to humble myself live in somebody else's house perhaps go according to somebody else's schedule and turn my life into whatever

I can do for my children and my children's children you know it's just an example but hopefully this lesson will land home for some of us how does a wise man know how to help his children's children what would be a really interesting thing to happen what if he was in the same home with his children's children for a little while or close by to know exactly who they are what

I'm trying to say is some of the things we read about in the Bible about how families are supposed to work together we've kind of just said oh well that was back then you know now we've got a modern economy the

Bible has not stopped being the word of God right and by the way just so we're clear the things that the

Lord was telling us through his apostles and the scriptures about the family about how husbands and wives relate that was not the way that culture worked husbands barely looked at their wives very often they're just going to give me an heir and then

I'm going to get my thrills with other people elsewhere parents did not spend time with children and raise them up in the fear and the admonitions of the

Lord they let the slaves do that children did not honor their father and mother they rebelled against them and scorned them generational conflict this generation and that generation never got along sound familiar and so what was what we read in the

Bible this is not culturally bound ancient old -fashioned ways this was as foreign to their culture as it often is to ours so we need to think about how to how to apply it there's been a lot of discussion

I think a lot of helps and how husband and wife are to relate together in Christ we've seen a couple of generations of teaching and discipleship and strengthening about what is a good

Christian marriage look like and I praise the Lord for that I've been a beneficiary of that but thinking about generationally what does that look like I'm gonna give you example and I just want to let you

I'm just gonna read this passage to you and I want you to think about just how strange what

I'm about to read to you sounds absolutely strange this is going to sound to you okay 1st

Timothy chapter 5 after talking about how to relate to older men and older women verse 3 1st

Timothy 5 verse 3 honor widows who are really widows

Paul is writing to Timothy as he's doing pastoral ministry in the city of Ephesus how is the church going to help widows you recall that was an issue of concern back in Acts chapter 6 how does the church help widows okay verse 4 but if any widow has children or grandchildren let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents for this is good and acceptable before God what just happened did you hear that if any widow singular has plural children plural grandchildren let them there's the plural first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents for this is good and acceptable before God so what is

Timothy to do not only is there something where he's not going to put a widow who has children and grandchildren who could support her he's not going to put her on the church's support okay but rather what is he going to do he is going to exhort the children and even the grandchildren to support this mother or grandmother but look they must first learn they're going to have it all together no they're going to learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents why because this is good and acceptable before God you see that what has to happen there what if the widow doesn't want to let her grandchildren or her children learn piety and care for her well your argument is with God because he says that's good and acceptable to him that children and even grandchildren would learn to take care of a widow that is good and acceptable to God so are we going to get in the way of God verse 5 now she who is really a widow and left alone truly a widow and this is true perhaps she's been left alone because her children deny the faith and won't do anything to help her maybe they're like the religious

Jews in Jerusalem and they say oh it's Corbin we've already given it all away to God and she's abandoned and no one's there to help her she who is really a widow and left alone trusts in God and continues in supplications prayers day and night she's godly she loves the

Lord but she who lives in indulgence or pleasure is dead while she lives the one who lives for the

Lord and the one who lives for her own pleasure you see the contrast now part of this part of this is strange because we're talking about sins and concerns that just never ever get talked about today that's why it feels so strange verse 7 and these things command that they may be blameless now this blameless is not sinless we're talking about reputation we're talking about the testimony of the widows and the testimony of the church how do the widows live and how do the children take care of their parents that's part of the testimony of the church interesting isn't it now follow along verse 8 but if anyone does not provide for his own and especially for those of his household he is denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever now verse 8 is more familiar now this gets brought up all the time when men abandon their families you know church discipline this verse gets brought up but you see the context what's the context yes of course a man must provide for his household do all he can provide for his wife and his children but what's the context what about the widow she's part of the household part of the part of the life of the family because her godly influence think of Timothy whose mother and grandmother oh his grandmother was there oh look there

Eunice and Lois helped to minister to Timothy and disciple him why because Eunice was in the home you see he brings this up again to Timothy verse 9 do not let a widow under 60 years old be taken into the number and not unless she has been the wife of one man well reported for good works if she has brought up children if she has lodged strangers if she has washed the saints feet if she has relieved the afflicted if she has diligently followed every good work this is talking about who will the church support when the family does not okay this comes back to the reputation of the church the character of the church verse 11 but refuse the younger widows for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ they desire to marry having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith now notice this is in contrast to a godly woman this is somebody else an ungodly person and besides they learn to be idle wandering about from house to house and not only idle but also gossips and busy bodies saying things which they ought not now what's the problem here well one problem is this passages does not get talked about because in modern evangelicalism women don't sin it's right and you just can't talk about women sinning because if you if you did that you might not be pastor next week okay now what's the concern though what's the pastoral concern what's what's wrong with this example it's that this this younger widow she doesn't know where she's supposed to be she's not where she's supposed to be and so all of her energy is going all over the place but where is the energy supposed to be supposed to be aimed at a household where she does her maximum good where she's maximally a blessing she's not in her own household she's in that one and that one and that one and that one it's easier today we have social media verse 14 therefore

I desire that the younger widows marry bare children manage the house give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully so there needs to be provision for the widows lest we not be blameless and then for the younger to be in the household so that the adversary cannot speak reproachfully for some have already turned aside after satan if any believing man or woman has widows let them relieve them and do not let the church be burdened that it may relieve those who are truly widows now notice verse 16 if any believing man or woman so husband or wife if anyone has a widow let them relieve them and and honor their mother or their grandmother and seek to care for them see this is honoring father and mother right the honoring if you teach your children to honor father and mother they might just do that because that is well pleasing to God now what does that look like it doesn't look like exactly the same way in each family but there needs to be a clear laboring for honoring father and mother in these situations in that a weird passage have not really looked at that passage a lot have we it's not a very commonly taught passage but there is a lot here where it says this is well pleasing to God just like we read children honor your father mother for this is well pleasing to God well this is also well pleasing to God and there's a lot of good a lot of blessings a lot of potential here

I've seen a lot of good examples of this but we probably need to spend a little bit more time and attention at it any questions or thoughts there could be a good model there again it's going to be varied from household to household the question is how close are things right how close are things children who are prideful okay tend to do what to separate themselves from their parents whether they're being homeschooled or being sent to Christian school or whatever prideful children are going to be distant

I don't need you I don't need you well that doesn't honor the Lord does it right what do prideful parents do when it's time for their children to honor them

I don't need you I don't need you right so prideful children push away their parents prideful parents push away their children neither one pleases the

Lord and there is a time Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time in a season for everything and who's in charge of every time and season

God is right there's a time and a season for those things and we need to be ready to accept those and to embrace those arrangements yes well money is going to be a big role whether it's now or it's during the

Bible Jesus specifically gave instructions about the issues about money but of course it's not simply writing a check honoring father and mother means like parenting is more than writing a check right that's not really child support is it and honoring parents is more than just money that's a good observation