Should You Congratulate an Unwed Expecting Mother?

The Moral Problem of Celebrating Public Sin

Don't think people have a responsibility to comment on every single event like this this happened. But then to the extent to which these things are public and they're shoved in everyone's face as something that must be celebrated.

Reasonable people can come along and say yeah, I'm not gonna celebrate that right. I'm not gonna congratulate that. That's not the way this works. When David and Bathsheba had their child God didn't congratulate them on that.

He killed the child and David rebuked or Nathan rebuked them and I don't think anyone should be celebrating This achievement of this child that happened in this way in that way.

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Salvation is found in Christ alone and any who reject Christ therefore forfeit any hope of salvation any hope of heaven.

The issue is that humanity is in sin and the wrath of Almighty God is Hanging over our head. They will hear his words They will not act upon them and when the floods of divine judgment when the fires of wrath come they will be consumed.

And they will perish.

Where. We aim to equip the Saints for the works of ministry by answering the questions. You're not allowed to ask where your host Harrison Kerrigan pastor Tim mullet. And today. We'll answer the age-old question.

Should you congratulate an unwed expecting mother now Tim as we kick this episode off? What Bible verse do you have for us?

Romans 1 and the Approval of Sin

Yes, the Romans 129 through 32 says they were filled with all manner of unrighteousness evil covetousness malice. They're full of envy murder strife deceit maliciousness. They're gossip slanderers haters of God insolent haughty boastful inventors of evil disobedient to parents foolish faithless heartless ruthless.

Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die. They not only do them but then give approval to those who practice them. So there you go.

Okay, so how does that Bible verse relate to the title question? Should you congratulate an unwed expecting mother?

Why Christians Should Not Celebrate Fornication

Yeah, I mean so you note the condemnation that's in there in Romans 129. So though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice those things to serve to die. They not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

So like the idea is that I mean just think about the society we live in right now. I think about the things that we celebrate. So not only do we celebrate all the vile practices that we celebrate as a society I mean not only that we do the you know, the insane Death penalty worthy things that we're doing as a society.

What's the fundamental demand that's behind all these things? Well, the fundamental demand is that not only do we do them but we have to praise people when they do them and that I mean you can think about all the alphabet people along those Lines with all the things that they're doing.

There's there isn't a company demand that you must celebrate these things also, you know, and that's why they the the targets of their outrage are often like the bakers and the Videographers and everything else is because they they they they're not only do they want to participate in these evil things.

But they they demand that you celebrate them so, you know part of what we're talking about when you're trying to answer a question along these lines is like what is the nature of congratulations and how should you respond to someone who is an unwed single mother and certainly, you know part of this element of Congratulations involves celebration.

Of certain things that most people I think have an intuitive response to say that perhaps we should shouldn't celebrate in that way.

Okay. Yeah, so you're basically saying no we should not we should not congratulate the single mother. Who? Who. Or the unwed, you know. Woman expecting? Expecting. Right. Yeah, I mean so.

Because I'm able to generalize when you ask a question along those lines. This is a question that someone asked us to ask but I mean like 90 of 90 of.

Unwed single mothers Like are the result of fornication? Okay, right. Yeah, so we're not we're not talking about like the. The woman who you know is married and then her husband dies Unexpectedly and then she had you know, she has their baby.

She was already pregnant. That's not the kind of situation.

I mean, that's a very small. Yeah, that's a very very very like Small percentage of everything right? Yes. I mean there's there's a variety of things that can happen with like an unwed single mother. So most of it's a result of fornication I mean you can have you can have adultery that produces it.

So like a woman gets pregnant from someone else you know or a woman cheats on a Married man, that would be adultery, you know, so like this could either be adultery. This could be fornication. I mean, there's like a new fad where women are basically Starting out intentionally as single mothers like via like going to a sperm bank or something along those lines.

You know say but I mean 90 of this is fornication okay, and then you know, the rest of it is mostly due to either sexual sin or Like, you know with adultery or something along those lines or yeah. Or you know, you're pregnant in a divorce or anything like that, right?

So like the vast majority of it is that or and then you know A smaller percentage is going to be like women intentionally pursuing single motherhood via sperm bank kind of situations. And and then you know at the very tail end of it you have like a widow poor widow or something.

Right. So in that way, yeah, I mean if you're talking about any of these scenarios other than The widow then you're talking about some form of either sexual sin or some form of sin of some sort, right?

So so. Basically, yeah so what like the issue is what most people are trying to do when They're when they're asking a question along these lines I mean, this is actually a demand that many people have that you have to celebrate the child at that point like celebrate the life of the child and so what many people are trying to do is they're trying to.

This a lot of this is related to the pro-life logic basically. So what's happening is there's a demand that people have that you? All right. Yeah, I'm not gonna celebrate the fornication so if they allow you to even generalize but like which is questionable at this point because You're living in a society that's so hostile to you know, basic wisdom at that point, but Once you get past the generalization element of it, then like the idea is that you I mean you have a lot of like very.

You know big-name Evangelical people who respond to this kind of thing and basically just say hey yeah, like what is demanded of the Christian is that you congratulate them on the child and then you try to distance like what you're doing at that point is like you're congratulating you're trying to separate the child itself and.

Like the beat of the sexual sin kind of thing. So let's just kind of ignore the sexual sin and just congratulate you on the life of the child. So like then then like the logic of it kind of becomes that you know.

A child is a blessing and you need to celebrate the blessing. And so your congratulations to the woman in this situation is basically sell it like it's basically kind of redefining Congratulations, it's doing but it's doing so in a way that basically you're celebrating the blessing and then like you have to do it like it's so this is what's implied in the whole conversation and it comes out like the more you talk to people about this, but You have to congratulate this woman because if you shame her for her sin, which mean which basically means like.

It even admit even point out that there was sin at all.

Yeah, you can't do that. Right, so you can't you can't shame the woman like you can't can't say that she did anything wrong because if you did then like she's going to respond to that in a murderous like Out like with murderous outrage and like she's gonna go kill a child, you know.

And then it's gonna be your fault, you know, because they're gonna be the one who's sinned. Yeah, we're pointing out the for pointing out. Yeah, so it's like if you if you bring any moral awareness to the situation you're gonna you know, she's gonna be reduced to like basically just You know a Two-year-old Child or something like that at that point with no moral accountability whatsoever.

And then she's gonna reasonably just want to like kill the child and it's gonna be your fault because you made her feel bad. You know and she can also helps the way she feels and so if like you're really pro-life what you have to do then is you have to ignore the fornication don't talk about that because that'll be shaming and Celebrate the child right?

And so and so it's not just it's like a demand. You must celebrate the life of this child or Else you're responsible for the abortion that happens and anyone who's pro-life, you know. They have to think this way or else they're hypocrites.

So this way works, right? Yeah.

The Difference Between Blessing and Approval

So so I guess and and think and following that line of thinking. You know, is there is there any? Significance to the idea that you know, the Bible tells us that children are blessings. It doesn't necessarily seem like there's a qualification to that in any way.

So if we're saying if we're saying, you know, no, you don't celebrate. The you know, the the new life that has been formed. Because of the way that it was formed. Does it. Are we going back on that? You know on that truth claim from God that.

Children are blessings from the Lord. Are we being hypocritical there? I want to give a few analogies here. Okay, okay. So first analogy I want to give to try to so part of what's happening is the distinction that's made is you're not celebrating Fornication you're only celebrating the life of the child and then the argument is put exactly the way you put it It's because it's a blessing, right?

So but then like the issue is money is a blessing too, right? Sure. So, all right, let's think this through so step one so analogy one right only fans girl Makes a bunch of money. Do her only fans that only only fan subscriptions and all that, right?

Sure. Yeah. Money's a blessing, isn't it? Yeah. So shouldn't you celebrate? The Like the wealth. Like the wealth that she achieved for herself. Like the nice house that you'll never be able to. Like shouldn't you rejoice to those who rejoice and we for those who we've I mean like she's.

She's got this blessing, right. I'm not gonna say yes. Shouldn't you congratulate her on the wealth that she achieved.

You're not you're not celebrating the way she got the wealth. You're just celebrating the wealth, right?

Because money is a blessing. Kids are blessing, right?

Right. They both are yeah, that's true. So what do you think? No, you cannot you cannot celebrate the I mean this is the same as like the you know, the the guy who? Fraudulently, you know. Obtains well like no, that's not a celebratory worthy.

Achievement, right? So like a woman commits adultery with a married man and gets pregnant. She gets her blessing, right? Sure. But I mean isn't it a form of theft in the same way a Form of what isn't it a form of theft?

Theft. Yeah. How so? Well, I mean she stole from that wife. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. You see I mean there. Yeah, there's adultery there. So that blessing was illicitly gotten. Right. So in general, you don't like if someone robs someone blind right and then.

But then they you know. Somehow the law is on their side and everything else, but they legit Robin Robin Brian. Like the issue is you don't celebrate. Like that person receives blessings just because they receive blessings like that's not really so basically it's a it's a Jacob and Esau.

Kind of argument. Yeah, sure. Is that what you mean? Yeah, I mean, so that's part of it I mean it's part of what part of what we're talking about is like you can't just just you can't isolate the blessing and then.

Not like ignore how it was obtained. Right, right. Yeah, that isn't that isn't the way it works. All right, so but then like just another analogy to think through I mean think about like David and Bathsheba so David like David Got Bathsheba pregnant kills Uriah.

Did God celebrate that? Birth of that child or do. That conception of that child, right? So no now now I mean like This is kind of somewhat of a trick question. But look think I threw for a second. So certainly God didn't celebrate that child because he killed it.

Right, right. Certainly Nathan didn't celebrate that life of that child, right? He rebuked David. Okay, and now I pointed this out and then I had people respond to this by saying well. Yeah, but God doesn't celebrate or God doesn't congratulate us on anything, right?

Mm-hmm. It's like oh, huh. That's interesting, right? So think about when you think about what you said, so they basically saying yeah, God doesn't congratulate us on anything. But we should congratulate it's like but oh, well, wait a minute.

I thought you were saying congratulations which is basically just. Like when you congratulate someone like the argument is that you're not approving of how they achieve the thing, right? Mm-hmm. All you're doing is you're rejoicing with them over The blessings that they've gotten they've gotten however, they've gotten it, right.

So but then like the the issue is if when I brought this up people would push back and say well God doesn't congratulate us from anything. It's like well, no, of course, he doesn't congratulate us on anything.

Because that like because what congratulate means is different Than what you think it means, right? Mm-hmm. So like meaning like if someone runs wins a race. What do you do? You extend congratulations, right?

That's different from like normal rejoicing. So if someone wins a race you congratulate them. That means you pray praise someone or say that you approve of or pleased about a special or unusual Achievement on that part.

So God's not gonna praise us for our achievements, right? So but then like with the baby. Like the issue is when you're praising someone for their achievement. You can't divorce that from how they got it.

Do you see what I'm saying? That's all. So yes, God isn't gonna congratulate us on anything because he's God and we can't do anything without him, right? So he doesn't congratulate us. Like that's the way it works.

But then the issue is that like when you congratulate someone you can't divorce. Like what they've received from how they got it, right? So like the whole idea of congratulate someone is saying hey, you're saying good job on what you did, right?

And that's the very thing you can't do with someone who gets a child from fornication you can't say congratulations, right you I mean you can say something along the lines of After you rebuke them. After you rebuke them you can say something along the lines of well.

Like the Lord is good to us in ways that we don't deserve, right? And What you meant for evil God means for God meant for good you could say something like that. But whatever that is, that's not a congratulations.

Do you see what I'm saying? Right, right? Yeah, so what's happening is people are just playing funny with the definition of this word. Like in there pretending it means something it doesn't so it's like yes.

Like I don't think you have to like if you repent of what you did and how you got here. Like if you confess your sins God's faithful and just to forgive you your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.

You don't have to view this child as a permanent curse. You can be thankful for the child despite how you got the child. You don't have to just view the child as the irredeemable curse and as an outsider I don't have to view the child like that either.

But let's not pretend that this is the ideal way to have children and let's not pretend like there's not going to be Consequences that come from this right? Yeah, and if you're a Christian God will work all that to good.

But you actually do have to repent of that and you've chosen a very hard road and no. We're not gonna congratulate you on what you've done. Like and we're not gonna congratulate you on the child, you know.

Like like on the achievement of the child or something like that, right? Like no, we're not gonna do that, but we can just say yes, like They I mean, I think you can you anyone can imagine how you can be in that kind of situation?

And there's not just like a perpetual cloud that has to hang over. Like you're gonna be a perpetual disapproving of this perfect person in perpetuity forever. But you do have to think about like how are you gonna respond to that?

And it's not just gonna be an un, you know filtered praise in that way for sure.

God's Commendation and Human Congratulations

Mm-hmm, not not to kind of go off topic too much but going back to the whole Congratulations thing isn't there. Isn't there like a precedence for? God congratulating congratulating us. You know in the sense of like running the race.

Well. You know. Like the Bible mentions God, you know telling the faithful the ones who endure. Well done my good and faithful servant, you know. I I don't know that you can necessarily read that verse and in the sense of like, you know, you did this all you know.

Congratulations. You did this all on your own. Type of thing but then we're sort of gay. We're sort of being given Praise that we're that we're not really deserving of. If you want if you understand all the work that God is doing for on our behalf, but then he's giving it to us anyway.

Yeah, I mean I think does that make sense I Think under one. Yeah under one meaning of the term you can look at something along those lines. You can say hey, yeah I mean, it's very least. It's a commendation of sorts, right?

Mm-hmm. So I got under but I mean, it's obviously not like a.

I mean you can think about it. You did it all on your own. Yeah, you pulled it off.

Yeah, there's there's no there's no biblical sense in which God is ever going to like Congratulate a Christian for some kind of autonomous like meritorious Achievement that they've done purely on their own or anything like that, right?

So there's like there's no sense like and that's the kind of thing that most people are Recoiling at the thought of when when you're bringing up the idea of God congratulating us it's like well, no, he doesn't congratulate us like that as if we've like like We've done something on our own apart from him that we didn't need him in it in any way.

No sure. Yeah, so I mean like the kind of like Commendation that we get from God is a commendation that's grounded in the work of Christ on our own behalf, right? So it's not like an autonomous merit that he's praising us for Something along those lines and so there's no there's there's none of that, right?

So, I mean, but there's certainly yeah, I mean, there's certainly like a Commendation that you know is completely undeserved is unmerited praise But it's fundamentally grounded like in like he's praising us on the basis of what Christ has done through us, right?

So it's not like a ton like praise in that way. Sure. Yes. It's certainly not the same.

Loving Confrontation, Victimhood, and Abortion

It's certainly not the same going going back to the topic itself. You mentioned earlier. This idea of you know, if you're gonna be. Well, well, let me ask this first. What people are going to say if you don't congratulate the unwed woman about to have a baby.

They're gonna they're gonna say that you're being unloving. What's your response to that? I?

Mean, so basically love Now is a demand for universal positive regard. It's basically a demand for affirmation. So that's what love means and that's why like the idea of ever shaming someone is seen to be so monstrous like the idea That you would bring any kind of moral awareness to any situation whatsoever.

So I mean those are demands that people have at this moment is that basically you just have to give people Unconditional positive regard and that's the way that they view God that's looking at them. It's basically being there, you know inspirational quote Guru or something along those lines who basically just exists to heap, you know adoration and praise upon us in some kind of like Unfiltered way.

So like God is love and that's what most people understand love to be now is basically just unconditional approval Without bringing up any like Morality, right? So so related to a topic along these lines, yeah I mean that's that's just the nature of how people understand love at this point.

So if you don't basically just approve Everything a person does and everything that they actually are then you're a hateful big you hate them. And we've seen how that works out all the alphabet people kind of you know Conversations basically, right, right.

So this shows that we're across the board. So but a lot of this is just a symptom of the fact that Are we basically chucked a sexual morality out the window at this point? So there's no such thing as any kind of sexual morality at this point.

And a lot of this is what this actually reduces to so people don't actually think that fornication is a sin anymore. So I mean if it is a sin, it's it's just you know.

It's kind of no, you know. Yes, like tell it's like it's like lying or something, you know, it's not that big a deal.

It's like a white. Yeah white lie, you know, we're some yeah. Everybody met everybody messes up. No one's perfect. We're all broken. We're all beautiful and broken and you know all that and God get God gets it.

God understands. Yeah, he does.

Hey, yeah, he gets us. Oh, so Following that line of thinking you also mentioned earlier on in the episode that if you are the person who is quote-unquote Unloving, you know unlovingly pointing out that this was sin that needs to be repented of.

Then if the woman were to decide hey, you know what there There's no way for me to escape this shame and guilt other than to go and have the unborn baby Killed murder them abort them, whatever then people's people's Immediate reaction, you know sort of knee-jerk reaction is going to be well.

It's your fault if you had just not pointed it out if you had just not shamed them. Then they wouldn't have done This evil thing. They wouldn't have killed the baby. They probably wouldn't even call it evil.

They would just say they would just say it was unfortunate or you know, how they're not gonna call it evil. So so is that how we should be looking at it the person who's pointing out hey This is sin. You need to repent of it and then they go and and have the baby killed.

Is it then your fault as the person who pointed out it was sin? Hmm.

Sin, Shame, and the Logic of Critical Theory

So a lot of what's happened as a result of critical theory is that the world's divided up into oppress the oppressors and the oppressed essentially so then what you have is you have a situation where like Women are basically viewed as victim classes of people and the pro-life movement has basically taken this logic like that women are victims and They basically like that's the way that like they're operating on the basic on these basic Assumptions of critical theory essentially if that makes sense.

So then like a woman in this encounter if she's single mother, then she's by definition a victim essentially. And so then because she's a victim and the rules for the game are that you can't blame the victim.

You can't shame the victim. You have to support the victim. You have to validate the victim and then that's the way it works. And I mean it's certainly I mean, I I don't want to Be overly simplistic here, right?

So it's not as if like the woman is just the villain on her own Like apart from any guy here. Like the problem is that like when a woman gets pregnant Like when a woman gets pregnant is night, you know 90 of the time or more is because she fornicated with a guy and like the issue is she's the only one who has to bear The consequences of that for the most part in our society, right?

Like meaning like like the guy can just kind of disappear man, you know. And then no one it's not like as if he wears the marks of his transgression on his very body or something like that. You know, so he can just Distance himself from the thing and she she's the one that all the focus gets put on and certainly I mean, that's Certainly there's something about like that's not you know fair, right?

You see like but I mean meaning like I'm not saying God is not fair for making her the be the one who bears the children it's just God's designed the world in such a way that Like sex is designed to be Performed in the covenant of marriage and when two people sin against him in that kind of way This could be a consequence and it's the consequence that women uniquely bear much more than men in that way and so then we're reacting to that like what you have is you have a lot of society full of people who are trying to overcompensate for that and basically just treat her as like Like a sinless Like Newborn or something right like you have to check your doctor.

I'm total depravity, but that's the way people think of infants. You know, it's yeah Is this like these sinless angels or something like that and you have to treat her like that too? And so then and then you villainize like the guy behind the scenes and and then all you then what she needs is she needs Support and she needs to be loved and she needs to be Validated and then it so then what happens is like like you have like this way over compensation on that side.

And you're not really it and because she's viewed as like an oppressed class of people. Then you have to support her you have to validate her. You have to affirm her. You got to get her back and you gotta Protect her from all the guilt and shame and condemnation and everything else.

And so but then like the issue is like Bible says faithful are the ones of friend and profuse or the kisses of an enemy. I mean all you're doing is you're destroying her soul like by doing that, so if you just come along and basically just praise her and just say hey, we got your back and Like one like you're destroying your soul.

But then to what you're doing is you're normalizing child murder because I mean the assumption behind the behind the assumption. There is just to say that. Like if you don't do all that then somehow you're the next person who's re-victimizing her, right?

So she was victimized by the guy and now you're victimizing her again because you don't have her back. And so like you're revict and so then it's just like what now if she kills a child. Then the assumption behind it always well, that's kind of understandable because like one guy Was like she was a victim of the guy and now she's a victim of you, right?

And so everyone's a victim to her. No one's gonna take care of her and if everyone doesn't come along and take care of her and provide for her and clean up Her mess or whatever then basically you're basically just saying you want that child to die and it's like what no like look.

She didn't have to get in this mess, you know. The guy didn't have there's a guy behind the scenes who put her who helped put her in this mess, you know so you have Co villains here, right but then like the issue is like I'm not killing anyone, right?

You said I'm not killing anyone and if I don't like it and if I don't like unconditionally praise this person I'm not an instrument of this baby's death. Like the issue is if everyone would just obey the Lord then no one would be in this situation and they're experiencing the bitter Fruit of you know, you reap what you sow at that point so then what you have is you have a society that basically won't hear that at this point and basically just Is going to do whatever it can to you know, basic basically blame shift and try to make it, you know.

He's in Boulder kill children at that point. But yeah, like the most loving thing you can do is just Do what the Bible commands you to do and no one's gonna like it, but.

How to Respond to Public Sin with Pastoral Wisdom

So, how do you go about how do you go about doing that? How do you go about? You know. Confronting that kind of sin and and do you do it all the time? Do you do it every time that you you know, anytime that you even know of an acquaintance?

Not necessarily someone who's involved in your life or goes, you know goes to your church is in your Family or friend group, but just someone that you know, maybe maybe you see online that you know there they announce their she's she announces she's pregnant and You know, you know, she's not married.

I mean, do you do you go online and do you point that out like like how do you handle? The various situations where And where is the line where it's like hey, it's it's probably just not even Fruitful at this point given my you know How much I you know, how well I know them or how close I am to them or whatever.

Is there ever a line we say it's probably just not even worth me doing.

Yeah, I mean I I think when with public sins I mean there's public rebuke in that way, but then and it's impossible to give like a one-size-fits-all approach to how to handle Like a situation like this because there's so many different moving parts That are involved in this.

I mean, I think you could think Like if you were to have like a Famous celebrity or whatever else like I don't think you have to comment on every single thing that you know online people turn into a controversy or anything else, but I mean If there becomes a demand that some famous person gets Pregnant via fornication and then everyone treats it like as if it didn't happen or something like that.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to Point out the obvious here that we should never celebrate fornication. So, I mean I could it kind of depends on how you're related to a person in that way. And what we're even talking about if that makes sense.

So, you know obviously like like the issue is like if it's like a loved one. If it's a family member, you may have some unique responsibility to say something to them. And I think what most people are doing at this point is just pretending it didn't happen, right?

So they go immediately and well, you got to figure out what to do mode, right? Then like we don't want the baby to die. So like we got to figure out what to do and I think that most people aren't even having these conversations anymore.

I think it just like for many people it kind of goes without saying that you shouldn't have that conversation even right? So I would say that don't skip that step I mean step one if this is a person in your life who You know like this is a family member this is a close friend.

Love them enough to have a conversation with him about it. No, so I don't think you should have keep on having like, you know conversation after conversation after conversation. But you should talk about it, you know, there's an elephant in the room.

You shouldn't pretend like this elephant didn't happen now at a certain point like I mean you're talking about a like a lady Who's pregnant? Out of wedlock. The issue is she's not gonna be able to raise her child.

Do you see what I mean? Yeah, like someone's gonna cover for her. I mean unless she's just like independently wealthier unless like she You know fleeces the guy for everything. I mean She can get out of them or whatever else.

I mean I can imagine I mean I can imagine I can imagine some scenarios along these lines where you know Cheats on her or something like that and she divorces him righteously and everything else. I mean I can imagine some kind of scenarios where she truly is the innocent party and and Then he's gonna be paying his child support the rest of his life and all that kind of stuff.

And I mean, we're not really even talking about those kind of situations, obviously but I mean I like I for the most part like if you're You do have to think about like what kind of help are you going to give in this kind of scenario?

Knowing that like the kind of scenario you're talking about is not. Like we shouldn't underestimate what we're talking about here, right? Like meaning like if you're in some kind of scenario where your loved one has gotten pregnant.

With no plan with no support with no whatever. Then the help that you're gonna make in she's coming to you for help in that kind of situation. Like you shouldn't whitewash what's happening what's happening is she's asking you to raise her kids for her.

Do you say I mean? Mm-hmm, and then you know, you do have to ask yourself. Am I able to raise her kids for her? Does he write like meaning like it's like you. So, I mean like when girls in that kind of situation Come home and explain to their parents what's happening then?

Yeah, I mean what often happens is the grandparents or the parents and she's working. To try to figure out how to provide for the kids. So the there's someone else who's going to have to cover for this and so you have to ask yourself.

Like in particularly if you're in that situation and you've never had a moral conversation with this individual and you've utterly failed them, right? So, yeah, there's certain strings attached to my help, you know and part of the strings that are gonna be attached or not just like I'm not just gonna babysit your kid all day long while you continue to sleep around and keep on collecting new children, right?

So I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that, right? You know so I'm not gonna I'm not gonna raise your kid for you as you go and Go to the bar every week and try to figure out how I can get a husband and come home.

Whatever wasted like that's you're not loving anyone doing that kind of thing, right? So, I mean, I mean at a certain point it's just like You know, there might be some people in that kind of situation and then they realize they're dealing with the heart of stone.