Colossians 3:18-21 King of Your House

You are listening to the podcast of Recast Church in Matawan, Michigan. Good morning, Recast Church.

I'm Don Felsick. I'm the lead pastor here, and I just want to welcome you all to this worship gathering this morning. I'm glad you're here. I hope you come with some anticipation of worshiping God together and hearing from his word this morning.

Here at Recast, the T in our name stands for truth, and it informs. We believe that the word of God is truth, and that it informs the fundamental layers of real life, as we're going to be looking at in our text this morning.

As we've been marching through the book of Colossians here together, it's apparent that Paul wanted the ancient church to recognize that their faith, their lives, and their worship were all to revolve around one particular character, and that is Jesus Christ himself.

You see, throughout this text so far, the letter of Colossians, we've seen that in him all things were made. In him all things exist. He is the head of the church. He is the one with whom we have died to our old way of life, and in him we have been raised to a new life together.

He is the victor over the forces of darkness, according to Colossians. He bore our debt, and it was nailed to his cross, and by his death he has made sacrifice for anyone who would come to him by faith.

So really deep and rich words about Jesus Christ in the book of Colossians. Paul has made a really big deal about Jesus, and I hope that that's been a resounding gong in your ears as we've been walking through this letter, just hearing about Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

It's all about him. It all centers on him. And in the last two weeks, Colossians has been all about how we should live then as followers of Christ. If Christ is indeed the center of our lives, then what should we look like?

What does it mean to keep him at the center once we've received Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior? So remember that the book of Colossians is written to Christians, and what we talk about this morning is going to be talked about from the premise that Paul is speaking to followers of Jesus Christ.

And Paul spoke a couple weeks ago, we saw a few weeks ago, Paul spoke in terms of taking off some attitudes and behaviors through this book. He said we need to take off things like sexual immorality, malice, greed, slander.

And then last week, he dovetailed with that taking those things off and spoke about putting some attitudes and behaviors on. Put some things on your life, and I hope that you've been moved a little bit even in this last week to put on some things, to put some behaviors on your life, like compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, and other challenging words like that.

Those are pretty challenging things when you think about it. When it really, when it comes up against Monday morning, those are the kinds of things that are pretty easy to sit in these chairs and hear about or to talk about or to think about.

But compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, man, that's the stuff of the Christian life. Those are fundamentals that are very difficult to apply. I recognize that, but it's part and parcel of what it means to be growing in Christ, to be putting those things on our lives.

And so that's where we've been, and now Paul is gonna make a pretty stark shift. It's like, and you can hear the brakes screech, and there's smoke rolling off the tires, and then he launches into a discussion about the family in our text.

And it seems like a screeching change of direction, but it's really not. Paul is saying real relationships matter. Well, what were we talking about just now? We were talking about things like compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, putting those kinds of things on our lives, and then he's gonna talk about the family.

Anybody think that those things might apply in your household? Do those things apply in the relationships that you encounter day in and day out? I hope they do. And so he's really kind of carrying forward that thought of taking off evil things and putting on good things, and by the way, a fundamental place to start with this kind of thing is in the family.

You see, the reality is relationships in the family, in the family unit, matter to God, and that's why he is gonna launch into this this morning. You see, Jesus isn't just to be Lord of our heart as if we are the sole reason he came was just to save me, but there's more to it than that.

Also it's not just that we can mine down deep into the personal, which is true. Did he come to save you? Yeah, that's a glorious truth. But also we see through the book of Colossians a big cosmic picture that he's Lord of the universe, so we can, I would suggest to you that we can get caught somewhere in between in this process of thinking of him as so glorious and distant or so personal and so close that we neglect to recognize that he has created us in relationship and that our lives with him are lived out together with others.

It's not just huge cosmic Lord of the universe or just personal to me, but he has something to do with us, us together and in our families and in our relationships, in our households. He is to be Lord of your household.

He's to be Lord of your work. He is to be the Lord of your relationships. And so the stark commands issued to the family structure in Colossians 3, 18 through 21 are gonna fit well within this context of talking about how to live as a follower of Christ.

And what he has to say to all of us in these verses, it's been really hotly contested in our culture. This is a passage, if there's a passage where I've heard born again believers, followers of Jesus Christ actually say, but I don't know if I agree with that.

No, no, that's a big deal to take the pages of scripture, right, for somebody who believes that this is truth and coming from God, and I've heard people who actually believe that this is truth kind of go, well, but on this one, I'm not so sure.

And so as we dive in, we're gonna see that this is a controversial subject in our culture that I think is pretty straightforward in scripture. It takes some understanding, it takes some knowledge, and so that's where we're gonna go in and dive into this.

So let's jump in and read this often misunderstood text about family relationships. So if you open up to Colossians 3, verses 18 through 21, Colossians 3, I'm actually, not that it matters to you, but just kind of interesting.

I was originally gonna preach eight verses this week, and I only ended up preaching four because there was so much content in here, and I always work to try to cut things out, and it just got to the point where I was like, I'm gonna be preaching for an hour and a half if I don't cut this down.

So we're gonna be kind of slowing things down a little bit in Colossians, we're only taking four verses this morning. So it's Colossians 3, 18 to 21, and follow along in your Bible there. But recast, this is God's word, this is what he desires for us to hear this morning.

Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.

A short text that has a lot to do with us. Let's pray as the band comes to lead us in worship this morning. Father, I thank you so much that you have demonstrated your care and your concern all throughout this letter of Colossians.

Father, you are glorious, you are majestic, and you are so high and lofty, and your son has indeed, is indeed Lord of the universe, and we rejoice in that, and we see the big picture woven throughout scripture that it is really all about Jesus, and then we can personalize that and recognize that you have loved us through your son and have sent him to die for us and give us new life, and so we can rejoice and cherish that inner peace that we can experience.

And yet Father, you don't leave it there, but you draw us deeper into an understanding that we are not saved only for ourselves, but we are saved for relationship, saved for connection, that we are indeed relational beings because you indeed are relational as well, and have revealed yourself that way, and so Father, I pray that you would be superintending this message and this service, Father, that as we get an opportunity to worship and song right now, Father, that it would be a carryover from our week, that it would not just be all of a sudden, oops, we're gonna just jump in and sing some songs real quick and kind of move about and go out to the rest of our week, but Father, that we would be a worshipful people Monday through Saturday, and that gathering together Sunday would just be a culmination of that worship we've been offering to you all week long.

Father, you are worth it, you are worthy, you are glorious, you are majestic, and you are worth all of our attention and all of our effort. Fill our vision this morning as we sing to you, in Jesus' name, amen.

Amen. Thanks a lot to the band for leading us, I'm just very grateful for the gifts and talents that God has given to them and that they're willing to use those in serving the body of Christ here, so just very thankful for them.

I encourage you to get comfortable like normal, if you need to get up and get any more coffee or juice or donuts, while supplies last, take advantage of those. And again, if you need to get up and stretch out in the back, I know those chairs get uncomfortable, so whatever it takes to keep our focus on Colossians 3, we're gonna be looking at Colossians 3, 18 through 21, if you weren't here when I read it earlier, but have your Bibles open to that so that you can see that the things that I'm talking about are coming from the word this morning.

Christ at the Center of Colossians and Christian Family Life

And just thinking in terms of this text as I kind of introduced, relationships matter. The only thing, think about it in these terms, the only thing in all of creation that bears the image of the Creator is humanity.

The only thing that bears the image, is ever declared to bear the image of the Creator. And there's something about that image that reflects the relational nature of the triune God. Have you ever noticed that you're a relational person?

Now some of us are. We vary in degrees of relationship, right? We vary in degrees of how much we're introverted versus extroverted, but how many of you know that you have to have relationships? Have you identified that?

Four of us? That was uncomfortable. Most of us, I hope. You recognize that you need relationships. So the way that we relate to other humans around us is tied closely, very closely to God's purposes for our lives.

Think about it this way. When Jesus was asked, what are the two greatest commandments? He said, what is the greatest commandment rather? That's the question that was posed to him. He couldn't answer it with just one.

He said really two of them interrelated. He said, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Relationship. Vertical relationship, horizontal relationships.

That's what we are created for. That's something to do with why you exist has to do with relationship to God and relationship to others. So in verse 18, God begins with this, these five words, five, well, these five words I get to preach on.

Wives submit to your husbands. Wives submit to your husbands. I have to tell you honestly, I didn't lack for material in researching and studying those five words this week. There is a lot of ink that has been spilled explaining these five words or maybe even attempting to explain away these five words.

But one thing needs to be stated at the outset. I think it's very, it's clear as you're studying it and as you're reading it and you're understanding it in its historical context, but not so clear right off the bat coming at, we come at this text only from our era going backwards.

We don't identify some of the important things that Paul is doing from the outset here. But right out of the gate, Paul challenges his cultural context. His cultural setting would have been challenged by these opening words in a way that we don't conceive of because we recognize we live in a different era and a different time.

But the fact, the very fact that Paul to the church is writing to the wives present there in Colossae would have been a huge deal to that original audience. That would have been big. And here's why. In Greek and in Roman culture, there are lists similar to these instructions.

In secular manuscripts, non-Christian manuscripts, in all kinds of ancient documents that we have recorded on parchment and different things and scrolls that talk about the role of a husband. Philosophers talked about these kinds of things.

Philosophers talked about how to manage and run a household. They all saw the family unit as the fundamental basis of society and therefore they were talking about this. When they were talking about the political state and all of these kinds of things in ancient Greece, they talked about the family.

And all of them in this era issue instructions about how to run a household and who do they address. They all talk to the husbands. Not a single one of them addresses the wives. None of them address the children.

None of them address the servant. But rather they talk to the husband to tell him how to manage his household. But here in our text, Paul speaks directly to wives. He speaks directly to children. Next week we're going to look at the part where he speaks directly to the servants.

And some commentaries that I read get so carried away by that very reality, which is a big deal in that culture and understanding this text. But they neglected to ever get back to the content of what Paul is telling the wives to do.

What he's explaining to them. What he wants to communicate. So they don't get back to the content, but they kind of exalted in this dignity that's given to women here, which is great, but at the neglect of explaining what it means to submit.

And so the very first commentary that I read this week really highlighted that and never got down to the word submit and never really clarified that. But as I read on throughout the week, I found some that were willing to actually address and tackle the content of what Paul was talking about.

Now I want to set some ground rules here, set some of the baseline stuff that is very, very fundamental to our understanding of what it means when we talk about wives submitting to their husbands. I hope it's clear that male and female together bear the image of God.

That's fundamental to the book of Genesis right from the beginning. He made them male and female, he created them. In his image he made them. It's clear that men and women are both inheritors of the kingdom of God in the New Testament Equal in standing within the church as far as their inheritance in the kingdom of God.

A beautiful thing. And I hope that it's clear just from the fundamentals of what it means to be human that we need each other. Male and female, all the genders need each other. We have a radical and clear fundamental interdependence on one another.

None of us would be here without male and female investment in our existence, right? Okay, yeah. I mean, so you can ask the question this way, which is more vital to your existence, mom or dad? Okay? Well, mom might have had the more difficult assignment, but you wouldn't be here without dad either.

And I'm not just saying that to kind of creep us out, because I know that just kind of gets creepy, but I'm just saying this to show that our very nature shows us that male and female are both equal in dignity, both essential in what it means to be human.

And fundamentally, what I want to set as a ground level, which I believe is absolutely true, is that God does not have a favorite gender. He does not have a favorite. And some people will speak of this in terms that he does.

When they read that text, wives submit to your husbands, immediately your mind jumps to, oh, what am I then? Or I am that then. Or whatever. And wherever you stand on this, I mean, people have a lot of different thoughts that run through their mind when they hear this, but God does not have a favorite gender.

But the genders are different. And it is, I don't know if you guys are a little bit creeped out by the direction and the angle and the trajectory of our culture right now, but it is not popular to say that there's a difference between male and female, which just boggles my mind.

Anybody else a little bit confused by that? Anybody else blown away by the notion that we live in a culture that's literally dumbing down and watering down the distinctions between male and female? To the point where I would suggest to you that many of us in this room are confused by what it means to be male.

Confused in this room about what it means to be female. What is masculinity? What is femininity? And how many of you think that might be part and parcel to our identity a bit? Like is that a part of who we are?

And we can find ourselves wandering in a sea, floating around, not quite sure what we were made to be, not quite sure what we were made to do, or not even sure if it's okay to suggest that we were made for a purpose.

That we have some function or some role to accomplish in our household, in our roles with others and all around. And so this is fundamental stuff. Both genders are different. And they encompass different, hear me carefully, they encompass different God-ordained roles.

God-given functions, God-given roles. And out of all of the things that God could say, how many of you could think of some different things that he could, you know, tell wives to do here? Could you think of some different things that he could spell out for them?

Some different things he could hold up for them? Out of all the things that God could say that he wants of wives, in verse 18, in order, he says, to reflect what is fitting in Christ, what is appropriate in Jesus, he says, wives are to submit to their husbands.

Submit here in our text, a little Greek geek here, it means it's in the middle voice. And so, in the middle voice, it simply means that it's an act of the person's will. He is asking them to enact their will to do something.

It's not coercive or arm-twisting in the way that it's constructed in Greek, where it certainly is a command that he desires of them, but he is acknowledging that, wives, you are going to have to act your will on this part if you're going to accomplish this.

This is something he's asking you to come under. Now, it might sound coercive in English, but it's not so in Greek. And what that does is it dignifies every single woman, every single wife, rather, with a choice.

Paul doesn't say, you exist, wives, under the thumb of your husband. He doesn't say, wives, obey your husbands. It's a different word altogether, and that word appears in this very context. He could have said that, but he says that to children.

He says, children, obey your parents. He says, servants, obey your masters. But he doesn't say, wives, obey. That's a different type of word. But he tells them to enact their will in the matter and to accept and adopt a submissive attitude towards their husbands, an attitude, a heart.

Submission is, by the way, an attitude of the will by which an individual recognizes the authority of another and willingly, willingly lines up under the one in authority. Now, we practice this on a regular basis, right?

We recognize that your boss, the people that are in charge of your workplace, have some authority and have some right, and you have to willingly line up. Now, could you go against what your boss has to say?

Yeah, of course you could, right? And so, there's a submissive attitude that comes in with that where we recognize what submission means. Actually, in Greek, this word is used all over the place, primarily in the context of military structure.

In Greek, this particular word, submit, was used primarily as a military term. It has in it a genuine, unavoidable air of authority, which some people will try to dismiss. Well, this is just, there's no authority in this.

You're just co-equal, you're co-partners, you're egalitarian is the theological term for it. You're just equal, it's a 50 -50 marriage, that kind of thing. And so, they will talk in those terms, but there is indeed a component of authority that's here in this text.

Paul doesn't state it directly here in this context, but he says in other parts of the New Testament, things like, the husband is the head of the wife. So the husband does indeed possess authority in the household.

You're going to encounter all kinds of arguments against this text, and some of you are already kind of boiling a little bit inside, you're kind of like, where is this going, and how does this work, and what kind of church have I fallen into, and that kind of thing.

Some will say that this was Paul just giving into his culture, his culture subjugated women, and there have been abuses down through the centuries, without question there have been abuses, and it's terrible.

But some would say Paul just gave into that culture, they subjugated women, so he talks about it here, and therefore it doesn't apply to us today, because we're more enlightened, we're more intelligent than this, whatever.

But notice the rationale he gives for wives to do this. He says, do this because it is fitting in the Lord. That is, it is appropriate in Christ, it is within the realm of Christ, it is a good thing. This phrase exists to show that in the Lord, things should be done this way.

He doesn't appeal to a cultural standard, but he appeals to a new spiritual culture of what it means to be in the Lord. In the Lord is a New Testament theological concept that is talking about the new kingdom.

And he says, in the Lord it is fitting, it is good, it is right that things are done this way. Which also implies that, by the way, anything that a husband might require, or ask of his wife that is not in the Lord, is not to be submitted to.

There's a sphere of in Christ. And by the way, I don't even have the time to get into the details of where the rubber meets the road on this. How many of you know that, I mean we could talk forever, well what if my husband does this then this, what if she does this then this, and we could spend conferences, we could spend weeks talking about this kind of thing.

That's why I had to break it down into just four verses, because there was no way I could cover all the bases. So I fear that some of you may walk out of this message with more questions than answers, but at least we're going to talk about the fundamentals of what this text means.

But there are all kinds, how many of you would admit that your mind often goes immediately to the exception? I think it's a very American thing, I think it's a very scientific thing, it's a very logical thing, well what about this?

What about that? And we can all of a sudden come up with all of these nitty-gritty details that we can lose the forest for the trees, or really look at the forest and not the trees, either way, so. But Paul is writing, and this is fundamental, Paul is writing to church families.

He is telling wives to line up under the God-given authority of their own husbands. He's not telling, some people have misunderstood this, they've misinterpreted, to say that women are to submit to men in general, that's not what the text says.

It doesn't say women submit to men, is that what it says? It says wives submit to your husband. He's not telling women here that they are less important than men, and also he's not telling women that they are to mindlessly obey whatever their husband tells them to do.

But he is suggesting that there is a hierarchy and structure that exists within the plan of Christ, by which men are created to be leaders and protectors, and women are created to be submissive nurturers.

And we know that that gets broken pretty quick, doesn't it? Some men refuse to lead, some women refuse to follow, some women are very eager to lead, some men are very eager to follow. And so we have a brokenness that's in this, what God is setting up as a standard, a desire, a right practice, what is fitting in the Lord.

It's hard to apply in a broken world. Anybody agree with that? Difficult to apply. There's an excellent Bible study that many women in our church are currently going through. One study just started, I think, was it last Thursday?

And then one is starting this Wednesday, and I don't think it's too late to jump on board. I talked with my wife, she's leading the one this Wednesday, it's called True Women 201. They are working through the biblical concepts of femininity.

Some of these very fundamental things that we're talking about here, even about the practice of it and the applying of it and the working it out for women, is going to be covered in that book. I think we have a couple of those workbooks available out here.

If anybody wants to check those out, you can buy one out there, they're for sale. And it's not too late to join one of those studies, but it's a great opportunity to involve yourself with other ladies and talk through this and work through it together.

It is really such a countercultural concept that I think it's become quite confusing to try to figure out what it means to be male and female, male or female. People would say you could be male and female, I guess, I don't know.

But I found that the Bible is increasingly the only place, the only place that I can find that we can turn to to make sense of what we see as the obvious differences between male and female, masculine and feminine.

The Bible is starting to stand out more and more as one of the only places we can turn to, and the church should be one of the places we can turn to, to see the roles being played out and worked out in our midst.

But I need to highlight another interesting observation about the word submit here, and now I'm going to speak a little bit more to the men for just a moment. The only time that this word is ever used of someone performing it as an action on another, in other words, whenever this word is used to make another submit, it is used of God.

In other words, God is the one who can make someone else submit. Now, any of you ever watch wrestling? You ever watch UFC? You ever watch that stuff? You know the submission holds and all that stuff? Well, some people can get another person to submit, arm bar or whatever.

You can do different things, but really when we're talking about submitting in the heart level, how many of you know that that person that's in the arm bar doesn't want to be in the arm bar and would get out of the arm bar if they could get out of the arm bar?

Do you know what I'm talking about? They're not submitting. They're just not wanting their arm to be torn out. You know, so it's like, that's kind of the gist of that. So submission in their heart? No way.

They would fight. They'd keep fighting if they could, right? So submitting in that sense, making somebody else submit in their heart, God's the only one that can do that. And so my word to men, husbands, quit it.

Stop it. Do not be harsh to your wife by using or abusing this text. My goodness, guys, do not command your wife to submit to you. Do not. That's asking for obedience where he's at, where God is asking for their submission, their willing desire to submit to you, their willingness to obey God by coming under your authority.

How many of you know there's a difference? I mean, if you tell her to submit to you, now you're asking for something God hasn't asked for, and that is obedience. You get what I'm saying in that? God is the only one who can make your wife willingly, desirously submit to the authority that he has given to you.

So stop trying to get... No scripture ever gives you a license to demand that your wife submit to you. What it tells you, rather, here in just a moment, is to love her and stop being harsh with her. And I would suggest that it's pretty harsh for you to demand that your wife submit to you.

I would also suggest to you that, according to the usage of this word consistently in Greek, that when you tell her to submit to you, you are trying to play God in her life. You're not to do that. Instead, in verse 19, husbands are told this.

Love your wives. Love your wives. The word here is one of caring for her well-being. Now, it's not necessarily a feeling of strong affection or sappy emotionalism that doesn't come very naturally to most of us as men.

But I want to suggest to you that there are three primary Greek words for love, where we have one in English. Now, we can talk about liking tacos, loving tacos, loving our wives, liking our wives, all the...

I mean, we don't have a lot of variety in the English language for love. Greek had a distinction, and it's a beneficial distinction. So, we have these words, eros, agape, philia. Eros is the strong kind of sexual attraction kind of love.

It's kind of racy. It's kind of hot and impressed, and you know it when you feel it. Agape is kind of the run-of-the-mill kind of love. Philia is brotherly love, like hanging with my bros at the pub, talking, you know, that kind of thing.

It's like just that feeling that you get when you're with a close friend that knows you, that's known you for life, and that kind of thing. So, there's these different words. And the word that is used here is the word agape.

It's not necessarily the feeling of strong affection and sappy emotionalism, as I said. It's not the sexual love of the Greek word eros here. It's the run-of-the-mill Greek word agape. And how many of you have heard that word?

Are you familiar with that word? You've heard the word agape used in messages and sermons and stuff? And, you know, it's kind of... There's even a church in the community named Agape, Agape Christian Fellowship.

It comes from this word, which, by the way, has the notion of an unconditional kind of love. The majority of the times in the New Testament that God has said to love us, it is this word that he uses. So, it's that routine kind of unconditional love.

But I've heard it mentioned many times as the highest of loves. It's this glorious, beautiful thing because it's the way that God loves us. But as I've studied it over the years, this word does not have a lot of luster to it.

What you are being commanded to do, husbands, wives, what your husbands are being commanded to do, isn't that spicy. Isn't that amazing. Isn't that glorious. It's hard to apply. But it's the kind of love that provides for the needs of another.

It's the minivan of love. Where eros, the Lamborghini, Philia, I'd call maybe the Chevy Silverado or something, you know. But the copy is just there, chugging out the mileage, shuttling the kids and being faithful to the routine taxi runs of middle-aged life.

That's the picture of the love that husbands are being called to. It's kind of funny. It's kind of bland. It's kind of mundane. It's kind of routine. And I think to be quite honest, we can get tired of it.

It's something that wears down over time. You don't have a little bit of the Lamborghini in there, right? You don't have a little bit of the hanging out and being friends and stuff. You need all of that.

But the command here is fundamentally to care for the needs of your wife, husbands. As I was studying this week, I was struck by the possibility that our culture has become so enamored with the Lamborghini, so enamored with eros, the sexually hot, passionate, fun, flirty love, or even become so enamored with philia, the hang out with my best friends, entertaining, chilling, enjoying a good conversation, eating pizza kind of love, that we might not really recognize or even be willing to give credit when agape is being lavished on us.

We might not even recognize it. He might love you. And you're going, well, what about this? What about that? And he's doing the best that he can to care for your needs. Now, men, do we need to step it up in other areas and be friends with our wives?

And we're going to talk about that here in a moment, not being harsh on some of those things, but agape is stable. Agape pays the bills. Agape makes a way for a wife to have a girl's night out from time to time.

Agape helps out around the house. Agape listens and is concerned enough. Are you ready for this, ladies? It listens, but it wants to solve the problems. When what you want is the philia, you're looking for him to jump in the truck and just listen.

But there is something noble and there is something beneficial about when you share a problem with your husband and he wants to fix it and that aggravates you, but that's what agape does. That's the kind of response is I want things to go better for you.

I want to help you. Now, I'm not saying, guys, we need to take on the reality and listen to our wives and recognize that there's times to just listen. Anybody been up against that? Have you guys been up against that?

Time to listen, time to not answer, but there's a noble thing, and I'm just suggesting to you that there's a noble thing in agape that says I want to help. I want to fix it. I want to make it better for you.

That's a good thing. I think we need to kind of come to some common ground here and recognize that. I'm saying all of this to suggest that for some it may be possible that some husbands are doing what Scripture is saying and it just might not feel like enough in a society that holds out a standard of love that's exciting, enthusiastic, energetic.

Every day is like a honeymoon. The command is clear here, guys. It's very clear. Love your wife. Sacrifice for her. Consider her well-being in all of your decisions. Consult with her as any wise person would do when someone has been given to you to share life with.

Seek to understand her. And according to this text, do not be harsh with her. It's kind of funny and kind of sad that God has to say to husbands two things. Love her. Sacrifice for her. Want what's best for her.

And, by the way, don't be harsh with her. Well, you might be tempted to think, Paul, you're being redundant. If you love her, then you wouldn't be harsh with her, right? That's the way it always goes, right?