STOP evangelizing.

Relationship Is the Right Starting Point for Evangelism

Now listen to me, friends. If you're doing what I'm about to explain in this particular video, then I encourage you right now to stop evangelizing and giving an apologetic for your faith. What are you talking about, Nate?

Thanks for asking. Let's get into it. What is up, friends? My name is Nate Sala. I'm the president of Wise Disciple, which is a Christian non-profit organization all about living effectively as followers of Jesus in today's culture.

I'm also a pastor at my local church in Las Vegas. Look, how many of you have had someone in your life that always wanted to come around when you had something they wanted? You know the type of person I'm talking about.

They call you up and they want to hang out, maybe because you had a car and they didn't, or maybe because they wanted to hang around your friends, or maybe hanging out with you was a way of avoiding something in their life, or maybe you just made them feel good because whenever they would talk about themselves, you would give them a good ear and encourage them and make them feel better about themselves.

But the minute that you wanted something, the minute that you asked for something in return from them, they were nowhere to be found. That's because this person had crafted a relationship with you out of utility.

In other words, they tried to get close to you, not because of you, but because of an ulterior motive, because of what you could give them. Aristotle wrote some profound thoughts on friendship and overall relationships in his book, Nicomachean Ethics.

In it, he said two things that I think are worth remembering. Those who are friends with you for the sake of utility will dump you as soon as the advantage they receive comes to an end. That's because they did not love you.

They only loved what they profited from you. A lasting friendship is one where both people value each other because of each other, not for any other ulterior motive. Now, this leads me to the big idea.

Here's your takeaway. Relationship is not less important than conversion. If you've been watching my videos on this channel or visiting my website, then you know that I've been saying that you should begin your evangelistic or apologetic efforts with relationship.

That's essentially what I've been talking about. This is something that, unfortunately, is not the central focus of other ministries. Ministries, by the way, that we all love and fully appreciate. But the bottom line is you should always begin in relationship with others in order to develop trust so that people will confer upon you the authority to speak into their lives.

The Great Commission Includes Discipleship, Not Just Evangelism

Now, we all have our marching orders, don't we? All right. If you're a follower of Jesus Christ, then he gave you one critical job, and we should all be working together at this job as his followers. Matthew 28, verse 19 and 20 says it this way, Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.

And behold, I am with you always to the end of the age. Let me ask you a question. Is the Great Commission evangelism or discipleship? Think about that. Is the Great Commission a command to evangelize or make disciples?

All right. You see where I'm going with this? The Great Commission cannot be merely reduced down to evangelizing people, to going out and evangelizing strangers. The Great Commission includes evangelism, absolutely, but it goes beyond that to disciple making.

And disciple making requires the requisite time and effort to develop the specific qualities of a disciple in other people. And guess how this activity of disciple making is accomplished? In relationship.

The Danger of Using People as a Means to Conversion

Here's the danger in thinking more reductionistically, all right? The danger in reducing down the Great Commission to mere evangelism and apologetics conversations here and there. Here's the danger. We may develop relationships purely to evangelize or purely to provide an apologetic for Christianity.

In other words, you may tell someone, hey, I'd love to get coffee with you. I'd love to spend time with you. But if you hang out a few times and you realize it's not really going anywhere, you bail out.

If that happens, then you've only entered the relationship purely for utilitarian purposes, purely to use the person as a means to conversion. This is what I'm saying we cannot do. Be very careful here, all right?

People are valuable souls, and they should be treated as valuable souls. If we enter into relationships with the overarching goal of converting someone, then we have devalued human beings from the valuable souls they truly are.

Somebody's saying right now, Nate, I disagree with you. Think about what I'm saying. Let me say this again. We do not treat valuable souls as a commodity or a means to an end. We treat them as they are.

By the way, doesn't this seem to be like a huge problem in today's culture? Whether it's through like social media or advertising or Hollywood movies, we tend to reduce people down from their status as valuable souls made in the image of God to objects that can be used for a specific end.

I think pornography is a perfect example of this. We need to swim upstream from our culture when we as Christians treat people as the valuable souls that they are. In some sense, I think you all know this, all right?

Apologetics, First State Evangelism, and the Christian Ethic of Relationship

But where we often forget to apply this truth is in the area of apologetics or evangelism. That is, if we learn a script or we memorize some arguments that we heard William Lane Craig say or James White say or whoever your favorite apologist is, right?

And then we just jump into conversations with people purely to change their minds, as if all we had to do is say certain words in a specific order and magic will just happen. That's not how this works, friends.

That's not how people change their minds, and that's not how we should enter into relationships. Now, my ministry seeks to begin on better footing, okay? We have a signature method of communicating the Christian faith.

It's called first state evangelism, all right? But my first state evangelism approach is not immune to the problem that I've been describing either, all right? We really have to begin with the proper heart condition and mental attitude.

So, here's your test, right? Out the door, how do you know the difference between hanging out with someone in order to convert them and hanging out with someone because they are a valuable soul? Here's how you know.

What will you do when that person rejects your message about Christ? Will you bail out of the relationship or will you maintain the relationship? See, friends, relationship is not less important than conversion.

As a matter of fact, in chronological order, relationship comes before conversion. And if you're doing this right, relationship remains after conversion. As a matter of fact, relationship should remain even if there is no conversion.

Don't get me wrong, folks. I'm not saying that we should just hang out with people for no reason. I'm saying that people should be valued as people, whether they do what we want them to do and become Christians like us or not.

This is the true Christian ethic and it should be our attitude whenever we engage others for Christ. What do you think? Let me know what your thoughts are. Definitely, let's continue this conversation in the comments below.

And as always, I hope that you get out there and you live effectively as Christians in today's culture. Thanks very much for watching and I'll see you on the next one.