TPW 82 The Rarity and Character of a Godly Woman

As a witness, this is Pastor Patrick Hines here at Bridgewell Heights Presbyterian Church, and today I'm going to post Part 3 of the series I did on Biblical womanhood, and this is simply a walkthrough of Proverbs 31, verse 10 and following, and just emphasizing the character of a godly woman, and also how rare she is, and to encourage women to study that passage, and to make it their own, and to make it descriptive of them, and also for men to listen closely to that passage.

And if you have a Proverbs 31 wife, to praise her every day, and to thank God for that woman, to do everything that you can to wrap her up in the arms of your love, and to praise her, and to be thankful to God for her, to pray for her, and to thank God for every single day that he shares such a jewel with you.

But such women are indeed rare today. They're very rare, and they are to be valued above rubies, and above the most precious things in the whole world. So I hope that you find this to be edifying, I hope you have found all three of these sermons on Biblical womanhood to be edifying and encouraging.

Prayer for Understanding Proverbs 31

Let's pray now for the Lord's blessing upon our minds, for a right understanding of his word, and together, please. Dear Heavenly Father, we come into your holy presence only because of Jesus Christ, and we pray that you would help us in our minds to understand this wonderful passage of scripture rightly, to receive its truths with faith and love, to lay it up in our hearts and practice it in our lives.

In Jesus' name we pray, amen. Please turn your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 31.

Excuse me, Proverbs chapter 31.

This is our third and final sermon on womanhood. Proverbs 31, verses 10 through 31. Proverbs 31, verses 10 through 31. This is God's word. Who can find a virtuous wife, for her worth is far above rubies?

The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.

She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers the field and buys it, from her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.

She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, yet she reaches out her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself, her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing, she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.

She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing. But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates. May God bless the reading of his infallible form.

The Rarity of a Virtuous Wife

One of the commentators I read on this great passage here in Proverbs 31 said that so many men are not able to find a virtuous wife because they aren't looking for one. Very often it is not the case that there are none to be found, it's that men don't know what to look for.

And hence, what is described here in this passage is not noticed by them. Matthew Henry wrote this wonderful paragraph. He said, but he that designs to marry ought to seek diligently for such a one. To have this principally in his eye, in all his inquiries, and to take heed that he be not biased by beauty or fun, wealth or parentage, dressing well or dancing well, for all these may be in a woman, yet the woman not be virtuous.

And there is many a woman truly virtuous who is not yet recommended by these outward qualities, end quote. So I want to take you through four major headings this morning. I've given you that four point outline this morning.

Number one, talk about the virtuous woman, the virtuous wife as a rare woman. She is rare there in verse 10. Secondly, her character as a wife, verses 11 and 12. Thirdly, that she is domestically industrious, verses 13 to 24.

And fourthly, that she is praised for her great character, verses 25 through 31. So first this morning, look at verse 10 there in your Bible. Proverbs 31 and verse 10, a rare woman. Proverbs 31 and verse 10.

Proverbs 31 verse 10 says, who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rubies. The Proverbs also say in Proverbs 11 and 22, as a ring of gold and a swine's snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.

What an image. What is discretion? Discretion there, that noun there in Hebrew means taste, judgment, discernment, sense. Young unmarried men ought to weigh that carefully. As a ring of gold and a swine's snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.

So many men are often taken in by everything outward, and they fail to notice the far more important qualities in women. And the word of God is quite clear here. A lovely woman who lacks biblical godliness.

This is what scripture says, not me. It's like a pig with a ring of gold in her nose. When that ring tarnishes, what are you left with? Guys, if all you see and notice is the gold ring, you will eventually be stuck with the swine.

Right at the outset of this passage here in Proverbs 31, the virtuous, strong, noble wife is said to have a worth that is far above rubies. Now, why are rubies so valued? They're valued because they are rare.

They're very rare.

Why are people often willing to pay incredible amounts of money for things like baseball cards, football cards, NBA basketball cards? Think about it. A baseball card is just a flimsy piece of cardboard with a picture of a human being on it.

I saw a collection of six rare autographed NBA basketball cards on sale on eBay, no kidding, for $218 ,186 .99.

Why?

Well, because they're really rare. Why is having a godly wife and knowing godly women in your life in general something that men ought to praise God with all their might for? Why is their value above rubies?

Because of how rare they are, especially today in the country that you and I live in. What is remarkable about this passage is its incredible emphasis upon the character and the virtue of the ideal woman, the ideal wife.

In fact, the only reference this passage of Scripture makes to the outward appearance of the godly wife is her clothing in verse 22, when it says she makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

What defines this godly woman is her actions, her character. Remember what God's word said last Sunday morning about this, about what God really values, what God looks at as beauty in a woman. Remember the passages, 1 Peter 3, 3 and 4.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold or putting on fine clothes. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

1 Timothy 2, 9. And like manner also that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing. And then the last one, Titus 2, 3 through 5.

The older women, likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

The value of this woman in Proverbs 31 and her beauty are based on things which do not fade with time. Real beauty does not fade away with time. And things which cannot be taken away, those are the things that are truly beautiful in the sight of God.

What makes her who she is, does not consist of the ring of gold and a pig's snout. She's not the swine. She's not a decorated pig. What makes her beautiful and who she is, is her soul, her priorities, her affections, her gentle meekness, her quiet, tranquil spirit, her trust in Jesus, her confidence in God.

Proverbs 31, 10 to 31 here is a glorious portrait of the very godliness this world is so lacking today in women. And yet it is found among God's people. It is found among women who know and fear and love the Lord Jesus.

And everyone around women like that, everyone around them benefits from it. What is it that adorns the noble woman who's worth as far above rubies and whose beauty will not fade over time? What is it that makes her so wonderful?

Strength and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to come. So many applications here. And I want to tell you, our culture's obsession with physical attractiveness and beauty is a reflection of two things.

Number one, it's shallowness. Secondly, it's wickedness. Now, I chose both of those words very intentionally. Number one, it is shallow.

Excuse me.

It is shallow.

There is little depth. There is little depth to those who live obsessed with physical beauty, men and women, both. It is shallow to be that way. I say it is wicked. It is evil that we have such a fascination with that.

Such an obsession with it is because of this. Women are not valued for who they truly are, but only for how they look. That's wicked because it is a rejection of what God's Word says is beautiful. It is the opposite of what God's Word says is beautiful.

It is evil to reject the Word of God and to reject what it teaches us about how women are to be valued and admired. A gentle and quiet spirit. That's incorruptible beauty in the sight of God. So who is this virtuous wife here?

Who is she?

The ESV translates this as excellent wife. The NIV translates it as wife of noble character. Young's literal translation translates it as a wife of worth. The RSV, a good wife. The King James, virtuous woman.

This passage is 22 verses long and each verse begins with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. It was written to be memorized. It was written in such a way that it would be easy to commit it to memory and young Hebrew men and women would have memorized this passage.

22 characters in the Hebrew alphabet, 22 statements here. Now some people think that these are actually the sayings of Bathsheba that she instructed Solomon with, aka Lemuel, which means from God or belonging to God.

Now, whether or not it was Bathsheba talking to Solomon, I do want to make a couple comments about Solomon here. Solomon was a man, sadly, who did not live up to the great advice he was given. Isn't it remarkable when you study his life and then read his Proverbs?

He's a man who was very, very wise, but that wisdom did not translate into his actions very often. He, under the inspiration of the Spirit of God, also penned some other very sad words about how rare such women are.

The Proverbs 31 woman, who can find her?

It says.

That's a rhetorical question. Who can find a woman like this? The implied answer is not very many. Listen to Solomon's own short little paragraph in the book of Ecclesiastes about women in general. And listen to this thinking about the kind of man that Solomon was and how many women he had in his life.

Listen to this.

Ecclesiastes 7, 26. And I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from her, but the sinner shall be trapped by her.

Here is what I have found, says the preacher, adding one thing to the other to find out the reason which my soul still seeks, but I cannot find. One man among a thousand I have found, but a woman among all these I have not found.

You hear that? Isn't that sad to think about? Here you have King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, who says, yeah, one man in a thousand is a good man, but a good woman, I've never met her. I don't know one.

I've never found one. Now, all we know about Solomon's relationships to women is what 1 Kings 11 tells us. The very first phrase of verse one of 1 Kings 11 says, but King Solomon loved many foreign women.

And it kind of goes downhill from there. There is something very important I want to point out here. Men who are involved with lots of women, like Solomon was during the course of their lives, tend actually to love none of them.

Solomon certainly had his opportunity to find one. 1 Kings 11, three, and he had 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines. That's a thousand women. I don't think I've actually known a thousand women.

In my entire life.

It is God's intention, my friends, for a man to be a one woman man. You notice the very first verse here in Proverbs 31, 10, the virtuous wife, singular, one. Men, you're looking for one, only one. That opening verse, very important.

There's an old Spanish proverb. I've heard Robbie Zacharias quote it. I think it really summarizes biblical truth so well. A man who loves many women actually loves none of them. And a man who loves one woman has loved them all.

Notice the first three verses of Proverbs 31.

Do you see it?

The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him, what my son, and what son of my womb, and what son of my vows, do not give your strength to women. You hear that? Plural, young men, don't do that.

Don't be a guy who's constantly going from one woman to the next. Have in your mind to find one and love her your whole life. She said, do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.

And how ironic, what destroyed Solomon? What took him away so that he actually made sacrifices to pagan deities, all those foreign women? The multiple women in his life. And now the scripture sets forth to us the ideal singular woman, to Lemuel, who can find a virtuous wife, wife for her worth is far above rubies.

It's something that young men, if you wanna get married one day, you gotta find one. You gotta look hard and be very picky and have high standards. Proverbs 19, 14 says, houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Some things you can inherit. You can inherit a lot of stuff. You can inherit money. You can inherit houses, possessions, cars, but you cannot inherit a wife. You have to find one. And I wanna tell you brothers, if you do have a prudent, virtuous, godly wife, remember God gave her to you.

A prudent wife is from who? The Lord, from the Lord. Notice again her rarity. It's like rubies. It's hard to find. You gotta dig and dig and excavate and dig in the ground all over the place and before you finally find the ruby.

Charles Bridges, who wrote one of the best commentaries I've ever read on Proverbs said, quote, perhaps one reason of the rarity of the gift is, just like Matthew Henry said, that it is so seldom sought.

Too often is the search made for accomplishments,.

Not for virtues,.

For external and advantageous recommendations rather than for internal godly work.

End quote.

What an understatement. This has always been a problem for men, valuing women for the wrong reasons. Secondly, her character as a wife, verses 11 and 12. Look at these two verses. The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Okay, stop there.

The heart of her husband. What does that term mean? The inner soul, the inner man, the very center of who he is, safely trusts her. She does not bankrupt him with overspending. He will have no lack of gain, no need of spoil.

He doesn't need unjust gain or theft. She is an asset to him and to his estate. She does him good and not evil all the days that she's alive and is married to him. He is safe with her. His heart is in her hands and she is well aware of the power that she has over it.

She can hurt him, criticize him, and make him feel less than a man, or she can build and encourage him. The wise woman builds her house. Proverbs 14, 1. Teach it to your daughters. The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.

That's not talking about bricks, mortar, drywall, and studs. It's talking about the people that live there. There are times that this wonderful woman whose husband's heart safely trusts her, that she has to admonish and rebuke him.

But there is no animosity or hatred behind this. Her intention toward him is always good and not evil. If she has to sit him down and explain, you're not being very loving to people, you need to change the way you interact with our kids, you need to change this, you need to change that.

He knows that she's not just nitpicking at him. He totally trusts her. She's there to help him be a better man. This love for him will characterize her all the days of her life. He never has any reason to mistrust her because of the rock solid character that she has.

She is a disciple of Christ and seeks to honor her husband and be a woman of true beauty out of love for her savior. Because he knows that's true, he knows she always has his best in mind. The heart of her husband safely trusts her, safely trusts her.

Charles Bridges said this, with such a jewel for his wife, the husband has no misgivings. His home is the home of his heart. He needs not to look into the matters entrusted to her with a suspicious eye.

He has no reserves or jealousies. Ruling in this sphere without, he encourages her to rule in her sphere within. All is conducted with such prudence and economy that he has no need of spoil, no temptation to unjust gain, no need to leave his happy home in order to enrich himself with the soldier's spoils.

The attachment of such a wife is as lasting as the time of their union, constant and consistent. All the days of her life, she does him good and not evil, all the days that she is alive. Instead of abusing confidence, she only seeks to make herself daily more worthy of it.

Not fretful and uncertain, caring how she may please her husband, doing him good and not evil all the days of her life. Would that it were so. Look at Eve, the help me become the tempter. Solomon's wives, drawing his heart away from the Lord.

Jezebel,.

Stirring up her husband to abominable wickedness. Job's wife, calling upon her husband to curse God and die.

End quote.

The woman described in Proverbs 31, 10 through 31, because she's a follower of Christ, it is the people around her that are the most important to her. She loves them all and wants to do good to them all the days of her life.

Happiness, godliness,.

Love for Christ, a man who will become a thousand times the man he would ever have been without her, that will be her legacy when she's gone. Everyone that ever knew her was better because of it. Everyone that ever knew her felt more a part of things,.

More at home.

And more loved because they knew her. Thirdly, she is domestically industrious. Look at verse 13. And notice before we read it, notice that the godly wife here is anything but a wallflower in her home.

She is a domestic entrepreneur. At verse 13,.

She seeks wool and flax.

And willingly works with her hands.

Okay, stop there.

She willingly works with her hands. She doesn't avoid hard and laborious work. She is engaged in the economically productive uses of her gifts, talents, and abilities. Verse 14 and 15. She is like the merchant ships.

She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants.

Okay, stop there.

She oversees the meals of her household. Everyone is well fed with good food. She is typically up before everyone else in order to prepare things for the day. She is the home manager. She keeps people fed and keeps the household economy in order.

Verse 16. She considers a field and buys it.

And from her profits,.

She plants a vineyard. I wanted to share with you, very shortly after we moved here from Cincinnati three and a half years ago, I had the singular privilege of conducting the funeral of Nancy Cross Miller out in Rogersville shortly after we got here.

And her family selected Proverbs 31 verses 10 to 31 as the passage they wanted me to comment on. And I had met with several of their family members over there in my office for several hours and just listened to them talk about Nancy's life.

And almost every verse of this passage was exemplified in some way in her life. And after I preached the funeral sermon, one of the family members came up to me and said, you know, actually she did consider a field once and buy it.

And I said, you should have told me that before I started preaching. Then we would have hit every single phrase in the whole chapter. But what a beautiful thing. That was her legacy. This is who she was.

I had the chance,.

I got to talk to her 24 hours before she passed away. I never met someone more ready to go to heaven. It was glorious. It was very humbling to see her and just the best of spirits and with the Lord and just a huge family behind her.

Grandchildren and siblings and cousins and second cousins, just all who were so affected by this woman's life that is just so exemplified Proverbs 31, 10 through 31. Do you see what is happening here in verse 16?

She is involved in making financial contribution via the use of her wisdom and her prudence. She considers a field. She looks at it. She evaluates it and then purchases it and makes more money with it.

And then she takes the profits from that investment and plants a vineyard.

Okay.

She is very involved in the building of the family's wealth and the family's household economy and estate. The godly and virtuous wife is anything but idle in the home. She has a productive home economic vision, which she energetically pursues.

It is a well-oiled, well-run machine with stuff coming in, stuff going out, money coming in, money going out,.

Investments,.

Everything else. It is a glorious picture you see here. Verse 17. She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms.

Okay.

Stop there.

Because she willingly works with her hands, she is physically strong. The management of a household is physically hard work. The godly woman's arms, it specifically says, she strengthens her arms. Her arms are strong.

And I can understand that. If you have to carry 10 gallons of milk to the house from the car, every time you go to the grocery, like my wife does, you're going to get strong. Verse 18 through 20. She perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamb does not go out by night.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hands to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

Stop there.

She is compassionate. She cares for the poor. And she really cares about other people. She is never hard-hearted towards the poor or towards people who are in need. My wife's late grandmother was described by everyone that knew her as someone who never uttered an unkind word to or about anyone.

She had seven children, 25 grandchildren, and several great-grandchildren. And when they'd all get together on December 24th, she always made sure that she knew ahead of time exactly who was coming, what their names were, and that every person that came had a gift with their name on it.

That's someone who exemplifies the kind of godliness that's being talked about here. They care about everybody. They have a heart for everyone. No one gets left out. Everyone is loved. Everyone is cared for.

The godly woman of Proverbs 31 is warm and welcoming. Her heart reaches out to everyone that she knows. People really matter to her. People matter to her. And they are conscientious about making sure everyone is loved, everyone is welcomed without exception.

She cares about the poor. She cares about the needy. And she works a spindle, which was an instrument used for making clothing, industry, kindness, love for others. These are the things in which her life consists.

Those are the attributes of a woman whose life is beautifully lived. Look at verses 21 and 22. She is not afraid of snow. Of course, that's not really a problem for us, is it? She's not afraid of snow for her household.

For all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Can you stop there?

While the inward character is the emphasis of everything the scriptures teach about godly womanhood, that does not mean that women shouldn't care at all about how they and the members of their family are dressed.

This passage clearly teaches that she is nicely dressed with fine linen and purple. And she is not afraid of snow. She makes sure everyone has coats that fit them and will keep them sufficiently warm and shoes and things like that.

She concerns herself with such things and is sure nothing like this gets neglected for anyone that she is responsible for.

Excuse me.

Charles Bridges' comments here are very good. He says, quote, the primary respect to the inward adorning in no way renders exterior grace unimportant, end quote. In other words, it is her inward godliness which manifests itself in the things that are described here.

Because of her kindness and her goodness, she oversees the people in her household with such incredible care and such overwhelming love that she's not afraid of snow. Everyone has everything they need.

And by the way, it's a good thing to be well-dressed.

And to look nice.

There's nothing wrong with that. It's not vain. In fact, her whole household is well-dressed. It says that they're wearing scarlet, fine linen, and purple. Neither she nor her children are shoddy or sloppy in the way that they present themselves.

She takes pride in that.

She's conscientious about it. Look at verses 23 and 24. These are key verses here. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants.

It's easy for her to be happy and to fulfill her calling as a wife and home manager because her husband is a godly man and he is known as such in the gates of the people. The people of the town know who he is.

And please don't miss what I'm about to say here. One of the reasons her husband is known in the gates is because he's married to her. He's a godly leader who is known in his town because she has made him what he is.

When a man who wants to get married and needs to get married, when he finally meets that godly woman, he's raw materials. He's got a lot of strengths and a lot more weaknesses. And she will help him overcome those weaknesses and she will help accentuate those strengths and make him the man that he is.

Why is he known in the gates?

It's because of her.

It's because of her. It's because of the fact that his heart safely trusts her. She has helped him be the man that he is. Fourthly, this morning, she is praised for her great character. Look at verses 25 and following.

Verse 25, strength and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to come. That's a great phrase for all of us to remember, for young women to remember. If you worry about things, if you're stressed about life, if things trouble you, remember this, the godly woman, she rejoices in the time to come.

She looks forward to the future because she knows that God is the god of the future. She's not afraid of the future. And although she takes pains to be well-dressed, her primary clothing are strength and honor.

She is not sullen or morbid or sad, but she rejoices in the time to come. If we believe the promises of God's word and trust in the forward progress of the gospel and believe that God will continue to convert and save multitudes of people, how can we not rejoice in time to come?

No matter what's happening now, the future is bright. God's word is going to continue to go forth and accomplish its purpose. This godly woman, she does not look at our cultural collapse and retreat into a world of depression, pessimism, and sadness.

No, she knows that her faithfulness to Christ will bear fruit that will outlast the onslaught of godliness, of ungodliness. She knows that what she's doing is like carving a beachhead. She knows that what she's doing is worth it and that it will bear fruit for eternity.

And to the women here, I want to apply that great text to you and encourage you, whatever is going on in your life, never to lose heart. Don't lose heart. Don't become sad and morose or depressed if things haven't turned out the way that you hoped that they would, or things haven't gone the way you wanted them to.

Remember, strength and honor are her clothing. You cling to God, the promises of his word. Don't lose heart. Rejoice in the time to come. If God really is who he says he is, he knows exactly what he's doing in your life, your life, your days,.

Your future.

They belong to him and he will always exert his divine omnipotence and his providence. It will always be yielded and wielded for your absolute good in Christ, for the very best for you. Romans 8, 28, and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, those who are called according to his purpose, for whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Never lose heart. Never lose heart. And so women, whatever your circumstances, know that your faithfulness to Christ will not go unnoticed by him. It will not go unnoticed by him. Rejoice in the days to come.

Faithfulness to Christ will bear fruit that will outlast everything bad going on around you. Verse 26, she opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. Okay, brothers, we need to remember this one.

When she speaks, there is not foolishness, gossip, slander, emptiness. When she opens her mouth to speak, the pearls and jewels of wisdom from scripture are what you hear. For her husband, if he is intelligent and not a fool, he will be quiet and listen to that wisdom.

You hear that? Look at the first phrase of verse 26 again. She opens her mouth with wisdom.

Okay, stop there.

If God's word is telling you there is wisdom there, you need to benefit from it. And the men need to listen to godly women. They can help you tremendously. He will learn from her uniquely feminine perspective the things which his own constitution as a man make him unable to see clearly.

And besides, he'll delight to listen to her. Why? Because she has made it her purpose to do him good and not evil all the days of her life. He safely trusts her because the law of kindness governs all that she says.

She doesn't speak like the cuttings of a knife. It's the law of kindness. She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She doesn't use her words to berate, to belittle, to tear him down.