Church Soup Ep. 3 (SBC, A.I. Church, Whitehouse Pride, and more!)

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Church soup is a satirical look at evangelical news. If you have ideas for future segments, leave a comment with #ChurchSoup

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Welcome back to Church Soup, the greatest news show in history, according to my mom.
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Each week we mix all the latest evangelical news into a tasty broth, throw in a dash of sarcasm, and serve it to you in under 10 minutes.
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Our top story, the Southern Baptist Convention had their annual meeting in New Orleans last week, and of all the things which were determined at the convention, two things stood out the most.
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First, Saddleback Church, founded by Rick Warren, failed in their appeal over being disfellowshipped because of female pastors, thus solidifying their removal from the convention.
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Second, whoever chose the fonts for the event PowerPoint presentations really didn't want anyone to be certain of what was happening.
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I mean, what does that say? It's apparent that this person never worked for Steve Jobs.
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Sorry, but adding pretty fonts is not going to change that.
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Get out.
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On a less newsworthy note, at some point in the convention, a man was seen with a chainsaw.
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And I just want to know why.
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If you know, please tell me in the comments, and be sure to include the hashtag, SBCChainsawMan.
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In technology news, over 300 people attended a church service in Germany, which was conducted by the artificial intelligence software known as ChatGPT.
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The chatbot led the people through 40 minutes of prayer, music, and even gave a sermon.
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Lutheran pastor Mark Jensen, who was present at the event, said he was positively surprised by how well it all worked.
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The event was put together by Jonas Simerlein, a theologian and philosopher from the University of Vienna, who believes that AI will one day be an important tool in the hands of religious leaders.
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He told the Associated Press, You know, we all thought the Terminators were going to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Who would have thought that they may actually look like Martin Luther? Shout out to anyone who translates Hasta La Vista Baby into German and puts it in the comments.
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Speaking of the crossover between religion and artificial intelligence, Yuval Noah Harari, an Israeli author, professor, and advisor to the influential World Economic Forum, stated recently that he believes it is possible that in the near future, AI could create a new religion, and even write a new Bible.
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He even boasted that this new Bible, written by a superhuman artificial intelligence, would be, quote, Is it just me, or does this guy remind you of a Batman villain? Moving on to denominational news, the number of churches which have chosen to separate from the United Methodist denomination has reached over 5,000 since a mass exodus began in 2022.
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Nearly four years ago, the United Methodist Church approved an exit strategy for churches wishing to break away from the denomination over differing beliefs, primarily homosexual marriage and members of the clergy.
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Even with such large numbers departing, the UMC, which is the second largest Protestant denomination, shows no signs of having any intention of turning from its views and going in a different direction.
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So, at least for the time being, it looks like my salmon-colored polo, which my children call my Methodist costume, isn't going anywhere.
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In national news, the President welcomed hundreds of people to what his administration described as the largest Pride event ever hosted at the White House.
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During the event, President Biden identified trans people as some of the most courageous people he has ever known, and even made reference to trans children.
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The party did receive a lot of negative comments on social media, however, with some calling it a national disgrace, especially when photos of at least one topless trans person were seen.
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Now, I realize the slippery slope argument is a logical fallacy, but we sure went from, it doesn't matter what people do in the privacy of their own home, to a man with fake breasts running around topless on the White House lawn in record time.
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Finally, tomorrow is Father's Day, and I want to wish all the dads out there a happy Father's Day.
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If you haven't seen it, be sure to go check out my new video, Denominations Discuss Father's Day.
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Thanks for being a part of Church Soup.
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If you like the show, please leave a comment, and don't forget to like and subscribe for more.
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Also, if you want to participate in the show, you can suggest news articles in the comments or on Twitter with the hashtag Church Soup.