Dress for Church Success

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Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

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No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the

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Apostle Paul said, �But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.�

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In short, if you like smooth, watered -down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn�t for you.

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By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes as we�re called by the

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Divine Trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her King. Here�s our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth.

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Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry. What a treat we have in the studio today with us, John MacArthur, the

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Bishop of Baltimore, Maryland. Archbishop, how are you doing today? I�m doing well.

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Well, thank you for having me. I just flew in. It�s a pleasure to be with you.

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Do I call you Reverend O�Malley, or what do I, how do I? Most Holy Father would be fine.

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And they have Popemobiles, I know, Mr. O�Malley, but what�s that kind of car out there that you�re driving?

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Oh, that�s, that�s just the limo. What are we doing?

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That strikes me as so funny. Oh, man. We do have some strength through adversity cards here.

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By the way, this is No Compromise Radio. Yes. Welcome to No Compromise Radio. This is that Joe Osteen game, and I just picked one.

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You saw me shuffle. I�m going to just shuffle again in your presence, and I�m going to pick out one of these strength through adversity cards.

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Oh, I know. You didn�t stack the deck. That�s right. And here we go. All right.

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Henry Ford forgot to put reverse gear in the first car he manufactured. Talk about a time you made a serious mistake but managed to recover from the setback.

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Well, you know, I try to treat life like there is no reverse gear. I know somebody that had no reverse gear, and so when they paroled in a parking lot, they always had to find the spot that would allow them to just drive forward, because I think forward is the right way to go.

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I told you not to talk about that. All right.

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This is from a listener, Pastor Steve. I love your show. It�s my favorite.

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You asked for show ideas. I would love to hear you and Tuesday Guy discuss what people wear to church.

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I assure you that won�t be controversial. Okay. And then it says, �Prayers for your ongoing ministry ,� and then it has her name.

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So like a fashion critique? I know. Well, it�s interesting to me because she didn�t really tell us like her perspective, what people wear to church.

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Well, they wear all kinds of things. What should they wear to church or what they wear to church?

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I like what the Babylon Bee did the other day when they said that now they�ve done some archaeology in Israel and found that early churchgoers actually wore

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NFL jerseys. That is amazing. Uh -huh. That�s right. Good. What do people wear in church?

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Probably 20 years ago, I�d give a different answer than I�d give now. I think my answer might be more legalistic then than now, right?

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What about the whole argument when people say there�s something built into your system that if you get invited to a wedding or that you have to attend a funeral, you know to dress up?

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And so now we have the celebration of the Lord�s resurrection, you should wear your best.

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Does that mean tuxedos and suits and what does that mean actually? Well, I usually wear a tuxedo.

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I don�t know if you know what� That�s what that�s called. Yes. That�s amazing. How about, let�s start with the easy one.

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I think it�d be wrong to wear immodest clothes. Yeah, but it should be pretty much wrong to ever wear immodest clothes.

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Unless it�s your honeymoon, you know, in the privacy of your own honeymoon suite.

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Yeah, then wear whatever you want. But I think, yeah, I mean, that should go without saying that you�re not going to be immodestly dressed wherever you�re going, you know, whether it�s to a restaurant or to a church or wherever.

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Steve, I�ve tried to tell my girls, since it�s, you know, probably easier for a girl to dress immodestly than a young man,

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I guess he could probably wear his Pearl Azumi bicycle, you know, shorts or something in public.

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I guess that could happen. Does he only wear them normally in his own home?

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But you know, for girls, okay, how do we dress modestly? And what�s the right way to work through this?

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And what goes through guys� minds and everything else? I�ve always tried to tell the girls time and place. Because there is a time that you could, you know, dress in such a way to elicit a response from your husband.

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Right? Alone, privately, etc. I remember when the kids would ask me about bikinis and other things like that.

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I don�t want to be the dad that just says no to everything. So time and place is what I�m after.

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Just no to most things. That�s right. That bugged me. And so, you know,

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I hate to even say the word cleavage, but to work through the issues as adults and thinking about it on the radio, you know, that�s not something you want to show on Sunday for lots of reasons.

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But if it was your honeymoon, again, privately, then I�m not against that. But I think immodest dress on Sunday is not recommended.

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But what do we do, Steve, when people show up to the church? And we�ve had this happen before. And it looks like the ladies that show up are wearing nightclub clothes.

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But they�re not members. They�re just visiting. Maybe they�re not even believers. We joyfully reach into our stack of burlap bags.

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You know, I was wondering what that closet was by the ushers area.

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Yeah. We call it the burlap closet. Uh -huh. You know, I think I�m going to call that John the Baptist closet there.

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Yeah. You know, what I end up doing is when people are visiting and they wear something inappropriate, I just keep my eyes on their eyes.

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I just try to talk with them. And I just think, you know what? As time goes on, they�ll figure it out, right?

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And it�s almost on the male side. I remember Steve Jenea, who used to attend the Bible study back in North Hollywood.

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And Steve was nicknamed Bones, and he was a heroin addict, and he had hair down to his knees.

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And I don�t know how long is too long many times, but this was probably too long. Yeah. Right? Down to your knees kind of thing.

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And the more he grew in Christ, the shorter his hair became. And then when we left,

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I think he was a greeter at Grace Church, right? You know, handlebar mustache, et cetera. Yep. So a lot of this, you know, if I see somebody and they�re dressing inappropriately,

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I don�t immediately have to rush over and talk to them and confront them or send my wife over there. I usually say to people who are wondering about that, �Do the wives of the elders dress inappropriately ?�

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And if the answer is yes, well, then we have a problem. If the answer is no, well, these other people will grow into that eventually, and I don�t think we have to pull them to the side and bring them over to the

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John the Baptist closet immediately. That�s like for the second time. Yeah. Second or third week, sure.

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It doesn�t happen all that often that, you know, ladies are dressed like that, and you almost never see the guys dressed like that, so thankfully.

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Yeah, I�m very thankful for that. We could probably, you know, pass out some kind of, you know,

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I don�t know, I�m just going to say something I know I shouldn�t, so I�m not. So what about this whole idea, though?

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To be godly, you�ve got to wear a suit. Yeah, I don�t go for that.

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And I mean, I don�t really concern myself with it. I mean, I�m more comfortable now, I think it�s funny, because I�m really more comfortable in a suit than not in a suit on Sundays.

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But you know, when I�m traveling, unless I�m going to be preaching or something, I don�t pack a suit.

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You know, well, why is that? Is it because the standard doesn�t hold? No, because it�s not much fun packing a suit.

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So I usually don�t do that unless, you know, like I said. If I know I�m going to be preaching, well, then sure.

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But totally different thing otherwise. But I mean, I�d always rather dress up for church than not dress up for church.

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But I can�t put that, that�s just a preference issue to me. You know, I do think when people show up,

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I�ll just say what I�m thinking because of that Babylon B thing. When people wear NFL jerseys or whatever to church,

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I just kind of go, well, that�s nice when you�re a kid. You know, I just kind of think as we grow up, we probably should at least dress like we�re going somewhere.

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I mean, you know, even if it�s to work or to the store or whatever, what do we wear? And if that�s what you wear,

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I guess that�s fine. You know, I mean, hey, I�ll confess. I wear my

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Mookie Betts jersey when I go to the stadium. Wow. Okay.

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Is that the Promise Keeper Stadium for that religious worship service? No, it�s for Red Sox games, when we�re worshiping, actually, it�s just veneration for the

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Red Sox. Oh, Latria Ardulia. It says in 1 Timothy 2, verse 8, �I desire then that in every way men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling.

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Likewise also the women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self -control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness with good works.�

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And then it goes on to talk about should they preach or shouldn�t they, et cetera. So there is actually a passage that talks about this general concept that we�re discussing today.

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Yeah, and here�s what I would say, though, too, you know, because you were specifically talking about Sunday, and I�m like, again,

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I just think for ladies, you know, if your mindset has to be different on Sunday than it is on the other days, then

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I have to kind of wonder, what are you thinking on the other days, right? I mean, you wouldn�t want to dress in a provocative way

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Monday through Saturday and then just sort of go, well, I�ll cover it up on Sunday. Steve, I know this is going to come across, especially in a

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Me Too, feministic, liberal society, even if it�s in evangelicalism,

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I just was thinking about where in the Bible does it talk about dress and what to wear and all that stuff.

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And then now here in 1 Peter 3, it talks about women who need to win their husbands without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

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Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God�s sight is very precious.

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And then it talks about how Sarah obeyed Abraham, etc., old days.

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So there�s two now. Why doesn�t it talk about men, what they should wear? Let your togas, you know, cover your knee and let your cloaks be such and such.

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Why is it doing this? You want to know what I think? I think it�s because the

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Bible, namely the Holy Spirit, God, understands that men and women are different, right?

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I think it�s a lot easier for men to stumble on the appearance of women than it is for women to stumble on the appearance of men.

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All right. Well, let�s talk about that a little bit. One of the things that I have said to my girls is, �You know what?

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I know you know about men to some degree because you�ve got a brother, right? And you�ve got a dad.

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But what you don�t understand is what goes through a man�s mind when he looks at a girl, even to his own shame and to his own sin that he has to own, when a girl is completely covered, right, properly covered, men still have a problem with this.

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And then if you add that on, you just want to make sure you don�t have any man thinking the wrong things for something that you�ve contributed to by what you wear.

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It�s still he has to own it because it�s his own deal. But men and women just are different, and men have to, you know, men are attracted more to looks,

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I think, and maybe that has to do with something even in the sexual arena because something has to happen to a man so things can happen.

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That�s about as careful as I can make this. Well, I mean, there are many examples we could give from the

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Bible, but I just want to read one, one that you referenced here not too long ago from Judges 14. Samson went down to Timnah, and at Timnah he saw one of the daughters of the

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Philistines. Then he came up and told his father and mother, �I saw one of the daughters of the

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Philistines at Timnah. Now get her for me as my wife.� It wasn�t, you know,

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I interacted with her and she had a sweet spirit about her and, you know, she�s just such a nice girl and mom and dad, you�re really going to like her.

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No? It�s just, I saw her, and he was captivated by her appearance,

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David. You know, what was he, you know, what was he thinking? He sees this woman, you know, bathing on the rooftop and he thinks to himself, hmm, yeah, you know, she seems like a really nice girl.

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I think I�ll talk to her. No. Men are more, you know, prone to this.

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Are women prone to lust? Yes. But men in particular have, their eyes are stumbling blocks to them.

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Well, Steve, this, these comments that you�re making easily lend themselves to the realm of pornography.

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There are a lot more women now who are involved in it, but it is by far a larger problem for men because of their eyes and what they�re watching.

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And I even think of Proverbs chapter 6, and it talks about this evil woman. And then

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Solomon says, �Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes.

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For the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married man hunts down a precious life.�

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Those are some strong eyelashes, by the way. Trap you with her eyelashes. I know.

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So back to the point at hand, I think men and women, like you said, are different. And we come to church worship services, and we�re here for someone else.

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And I think maybe that�s the best way to go about this. If you say to yourself, �I�m going to go worship the king,

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I�m here for someone else ,� then I don�t think I�m going to say, �Well, I�ve got to put on all these clothes so everybody is attracted to what

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I wear.� Now, immediately I think about pastors who, in the old days, wore

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Genevan gowns, therefore nobody could notice his tie or his new blazer or his special slim -fit slacks or whatever he�s wearing, or shoes.

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I don�t know if he put shoe covers on. Or his mom jeans. His mom jeans, Wranglers.

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Maybe he had some toughskins on. Oh! Yeah, because he prays a lot and he has to get down and pray. The old toughskins.

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So, Steve, what do we do with, you know, John Owen was considered a dandy because he wore kind of flashy clothes outside the pulpit.

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What about us? I mean, I like to wear a tie that matches and, you know, a jacket that looks nice.

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I�m not trying to look, you know, bad. I�m not trying to look bland or beige or something like that.

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What do we say? All right, what about pastors? It�s one thing to talk about ladies in low -cut, you know, dresses. What about pastors who are up there?

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Well, I don�t think they should go into the pulpit looking like a duffel bag. You know, I mean, you know, all wrinkled and ill -fitted and, you know, everything else.

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I mean, I just think, you know, that�s kind of a distraction. Well, besides that,

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I go back to something that we did learn in seminary that I think is valuable.

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I don�t want to do anything in how I present myself, whether it�s physically or by what

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I say, to sort of discredit the message, right? And I think if your image is improper,

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I think that it sort of, it puts the message behind the eight ball. I mean, you might catch up, but why do that?

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Why start at a disadvantage? Steve, I don�t have any empirical evidence for this, but these days, we live in this technology -driven society, and lots of people can go to work, make big bucks, influence lots of people, and they can wear flip -flops and shorts, and it doesn�t matter because they�re behind computer screens and programming and things like that.

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Do you think that that kind of mentality has now, or at least that dress mentality has gone into the church some?

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In the old days, if you were in corporate America, it was wingtips and red tie, power tie and suit and everything, and so then that�s kind of how people dressed at church.

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And now, people, you can go to work, right? People say, �Well, I actually dress up for church, slacks and a collared shirt, and I don�t dress up to go to work.�

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Well, I�ve seen guys, you know, pastors, I�ll call them, you know, get up and speak in all sorts of outfits, right?

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And I think the question is, you know, if I show up in a sweatshirt and, I don�t know, sweatpants or whatever, what am

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I trying to tell people? What am I presenting to them? What I�m about to say is going to be comfortable, right?

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What I�m about to say is going to be something that� Casual. Yeah. Yeah. And you needn�t take it that seriously because I obviously don�t.

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Well, when that one pastor dressed up in that Bjork swan outfit, what would that mean?

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I don�t know. I missed that one. For me, it�s simple. If I say to myself, �The offense might come in the message.

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I hope it doesn�t come through me.� Therefore, what do

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I do when I serve at a congregation? Young people, they�d probably like me to look more casual in my dress, but they accept it that I wear a sports coat and a tie because that�s just what

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I do. They grew up with that. Old school. Right, yeah. And the older people, there are some people who would think, �You know what?

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That�s inappropriate for a pastor to wear less than a suit or a sports coat and a tie.� Some people think that. So I�m not going to lose if I dress a little nicer than maybe

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I even want to. Most people that I know today, a lot of my friends, they don�t wear a tie. They don�t wear a suit jacket, a suit or a sports coat, rather.

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So it doesn�t matter to me, but my personal preference is, I�m just going to take the high road. Maybe other areas of my life,

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I don�t take the high road, but on Sunday, I�m going to make it easy. I�ll just wear a sports coat and tie. Yeah.

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I mean, I wouldn�t want anybody to be sitting there, I was going to say one of the old folks, but now I feel like I am one of the old folks, one of the old folks sitting there and just going, �Well, that whippersnapper can�t even bother to put on a tie and look decent, so why would

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I want that ?� And on the other hand, I think for the younger people,

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I think generally speaking, it just shows what we�re trying to show is the respect we have for the

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Word of God and for the message that we�re going to give, and again, not to be a stumbling stone or anything else on our own, let the message offend people, like at a funeral, �What did you teach me ?�

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You go around and you be nice before the service because during the service, you�re going to say some things that are going to ruffle some feathers, so better make them like you first, right?

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At least it always feels better. Yeah. Well, Steve, when I think of a pastor that we both know, and he got his ears pierced and he had two hoops, one on the left side, one on the other side, and the congregation that he was a pastor at was an older congregation, and they weren�t, you know, on the cutting edge of, you know, hipsterism, and I just think that was a bad move by the pastor because if you�re in a firing squad, and lots of times as a pastor you are by your own sin and then the sins of other people, don�t stand, you know, broad -shoulderly.

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Stand sideways. Make yourself thin. Make yourself skinny. Don�t be the target. Right. And so with the hoop earrings,

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I don�t care. You know, earrings, tattoos, this, that, or the other, what people wear, it�s fine.

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I mean, I�ve got enough California in me. I go, �Okay, I don�t really care.� And I haven�t had my ear pierced for probably 20 -some years.

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But if I did re -pierce it, I wouldn�t wear an earring on Sunday because I don�t need to have anybody bugged at that.

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I�d rather have them bugged at, �Do you know what? Your struggle is pietism, and let�s make sure we focus on piety by walking via faith and not by moralism or something.�

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That�s where I want people to be bugged at. I don�t even want to be bugged at that, but if they are going to be bugged, may it be that.

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Get bugged at the message of the cross. Don�t get bugged by what I�m wearing, what I�m doing, you know, all those kind of things.

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And so as much as I can, I�m going to try not to offend you in what

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I say, how I appear, you know, when I say what I say, the manner in which

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I say it. But hopefully the message is going to hit you like a two -by -four.

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Steve, as we wrap up this talk about dress, one of my pet peeves of all time, I know it�s just a minor little thing, but when

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I go to a website and it says, you know, �What should I wear ?� Whatever you want. Whatever makes you comfortable.

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I just don�t know why we say that on websites now, and I have some good friends that have that on their website, you know, �What do we expect in a service ?�

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�Legit.� �What should I wear ?� Well, the pastor is going to show up looking like a duffel bag, so what do you care?

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I know, yeah. Loincloth. I mean, what do I wear? Tarzan? If Tarzan wants to come to church, is he allowed?

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Yes, I�d let Tarzan come to church. As long as he�s not doing his yell, his

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Tarzan yell. That�s the call to worship. Yeah.

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I mean, there are no rules for worship, and if you think in terms of, you know, what to wear, if you think about the

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New Testament church, and you know, you have one extra change of clothes, right?

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I would imagine they probably had it clean. I imagine they probably tried to make it less smelly.

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I�m sure it was pretty smelly getting all those people together without deodorant. I�m just thinking, all right, if you just think about it, what am

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I going to wear versus just throw things on? That�s about the only, that�s my only request. Just think about what you�re going to wear, and I put out my clothes usually on Saturday nights just so I don�t have to have the pressure on Sunday morning.

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What am I going to do? It�s not clean. It�s not ironed. I totally agree, and I just,

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I�m, I don�t really ever look at somebody on Sunday morning and go, I can�t believe,

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I mean, there have been some ladies from time to time that showed up in different things that I would not have advised, but I�ve never looked at anybody and just kind of,

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I can�t believe that person would wear that to church because it�s not my concern.

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I don�t really care what people look like on the outside, right? I mean, that�s never been the issue. So as long as they�re there and listening, there�s nothing else

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I can ask for. That�s right. So when it comes to this, if you have to say, oh, those guys are legalistic and they�re telling us that we must do this, that, or the other, we never said that.

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We just said what you wear should be modest because I think the Scripture does talk about that.

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If you want to plan out what you wear, we just give you that good advice, especially with kids, right? Sure. And then what do we do?

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We as pastors, we have a certain philosophy because that�s our own free will choice. And we freely choose to not offend you by wearing a suit and tie.

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No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

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Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life -transforming power of God�s Word through verse -by -verse exposition of the sacred text.

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Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 1015 and in the evening at 6. We�re right on Route 110 in West Boylston.

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You can check us out online at bbchurch .org or by phone at 508 -835 -3400.