The Mystery of Marriage

Well, it's good to be back home, so to speak.

Back among you.

We certainly missed you over this past week and thankful for the time that we had away but are also very thankful to be back, be back here this morning, to be back in Genesis this morning as we finish chapter two together and look forward to beginning chapter three.

Next week.

The Mystery of Marriage in Genesis 2

And the focal point for the message today is, as you can tell, the mystery of marriage, which really begins in verse 18 and following. And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.

Out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them.

Note that that's very significant.

And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper comparable to him.

I'll just pause there for a moment. The pattern we've seen from chapter one moving forward is God creating, God completing a creation, and then God declaring that creation good. So this is the repetition, the pattern of chapter one.

God acts, God creates. He creates, as it were, a category, and upon completing that category,.

He declares it to be good.

I'll give you some examples. One, verse three, God said, let there be light, and there was light, and God saw the light, that it was good. Verse nine and ten, God said, let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear, and God saw that it was good.

One, twenty and twenty-one, God created great sea creatures and every living thing that moves, and God saw that it was good. So God acts, God creates, God completes, God declares that it's good. The goodness of God's creation is the constant refrain of chapter one.

But then we come to chapter two, as we just read. We come to verse eighteen and read God saying it is not good that man should be alone. So we have this break from God completing a creation, declaring it good, when it comes to Adam.

Another way of looking at this would be to say God's will for Adam was not yet complete. God had not yet completed his intention in designing man. And that is why, in a certain sense, it was not good for Adam to be alone.

God's intention for mankind had not yet been accomplished. And this takes us back to our passage. The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. And he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place.

Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from the first man, he made into a woman. And he brought her to the man, and Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.

And we'll come to verse twenty-four shortly. Now, you'll notice as we work through the beginning of chapter two, beginning in verse eighteen, God was bringing the creatures that he had made from the field to Adam.

Birds from the air, beasts from the field. And whatever the Lord brought before him, Adam named. That's very significant, because it's establishing a relationship of authority. So God brings a creature, and Adam names the creature.

And in so doing, there's a certain sense of God authorizing Adam to have authority over these creatures. We already saw that flowing out of Genesis 1 .28, and the great dominion that God had given to Adam as vice-regent or co-ruler over all that God had made.

Notice again, the same verbal pattern is repeated here. God takes woman, and God brings her to man, brings her to Adam, and Adam says, This is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman.

He names woman. This, again, is establishing a certain relationship of authority between man and woman. This is a creational order, creational pattern we see. The fact that Adam is in the position to name the woman grants a certain authority of the first man over the first woman.

But we also have to keep the uniqueness of this in view.

As we read these words, we have to keep Genesis 1 .27 in view, because there's a very big difference between the dominion that's given Adam over creation, and the beasts of the field, and the birds of the air, and the creatures of the sea.

There's a very big difference between that and the woman that is named by Adam, that is made from her. We go to 1 .27, and we have, again, this very stylized poetic sentence. It stands out from the narrative.

If you have a study Bible, it likely stands out. Just as our passage here in verses 2, 23, and 24, likely that's a part in your study Bible. It's indented. Why? Because it's highly structured, highly stylized.

It's poetically parallel. We come to the three lines from Genesis 1 .27. God created man in His image. That's the first line. In the image of God, He created him. That's the second line. Male and female, He created them.

Now, this is establishing the narrative of God's creation of man, and it's also giving us the order between Genesis 1 and 2. God created man in His image. He created him, singular, that's Adam. Male and female, He created them.

But all of this is parallel to man and female being made in the image of God. So is there perfect equality between male and female as image bearers in the image of God? Yes. Does that take away from the order of creation?

No. Does that take away from the distinction of roles that God declared to be good in creation? No. It was good that Adam found a comparable helper. It was not good that Adam was alone. So roles are embedded within the creation order, but this does not take away from the perfect equality that both male and female have as image bearers of God.

They complete each other in this sense. And this is part of the mystery that we'll uncover this morning. What we have in Genesis 2, 18 and following, is essentially the space between the second and third line of Genesis 1 .27.

In the image of God, He created him. That's Genesis 1. All of Genesis 2 happens, and then, male and female, He created them.

Do you see?

We come to Genesis 1 .27. God created man in His image. In the image of God, He created him. Chapter 2 is zooming in on that. And then it's summarized in the third line. Male and female, He created them.

This is important for the creation order. And later revelation builds on it. I'm sure many of you in this room are familiar with the importance of this for 1 Timothy 2. Or for 1 Corinthians 11. Scriptures put role emphasis from the very beginning on Genesis in the creation order.

And so this is very important that we realize this. Perfect equality and yet distinction. The fact that there's a distinction in roles does not take away from the equality. And the fact that there's perfect equality does not take away from the distinction in roles.

Scripture assumes this. Paul assumes this. When he's writing to the church at Corinth or when he's instructing Timothy. And so we come to verse 24. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Jesus on Divorce and the Creation Design of Marriage

This is an incredibly important verse. And the rest of our time this morning will just be on Genesis 2 .24. This is incredibly important. This is one of the foundation stones, really, of marriage as a creation ordinance.

The fact that people get married by the design of God is embedded. It's all flowing out of chapter 2, verse 24. This is not only the foundation stone of marriage as an institution at creation, a creation ordinance.

But it's also the foundation of marriage being a theological mystery. Something that draws us back into eternity. And so we want to look at this verse and see how Scripture builds upon it. It's hardly surprising that we find both Jesus and Paul quoting Genesis 2 .24.

Returning back to the creation story to help clarify and instruct and apply what marriage is to be. How God designed marriage to be. So first let's just consider how Jesus uses Genesis 2 .24. In the context, we find Pharisees testing Jesus with the question about divorce.

This is Matthew 19, parallel with Mark 10. He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan. And multitudes gathered to him again. And as he was accustomed, he taught them.

The Pharisees came and asked him, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?

Testing him.

And he answered and said to them, what did Moses command you? They said, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to dismiss her. And Jesus answered and said to them, because of the hardness of your heart, he wrote to you this precept.

So notice what's taking place in this interaction. The Pharisees are coming to test Jesus. And the test they have for him is, is it lawful for any reason for a man to divorce his wife? And this was a debate.

There was different rabbinical schools that had a different take on what Moses was actually permitting in terms of a divorce. What was fair grounds for divorce in terms of the culture. And this is a test.

And it's interesting that it's a test because this isn't just happening anywhere. It's happening in the region of Judea on the other side of the Jordan. This is the region of Herod's authority. And you remember what John the Baptist had been saying to Herod.

It's not lawful for you to have that woman. And so this test is really a trap. It's not just, let's see how good your theology is. It's let's see if we can get you in the same prison as John the Baptist.

Jesus says, what did Moses command you? And the Pharisees are sharp enough to know that Moses never commanded divorce. They say, Moses permitted a man. So they notice already there's a permission here, not a command.

There's a permission. Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to dismiss her. And the question is, why did Jesus say, what did Moses command you? By asking, what did Moses command?

And he's inviting these Pharisees to acknowledge that Moses never commanded divorce. He only permitted it. Divorce then was and remains a concession from God through Moses because of human sinfulness.

And Jesus seems to be drawing a contrast then between what God originally intended, what God ultimately wills, and therefore, because of sin, what he'll permit. And that's this language, Moses permitted, verse 4.

But already just framing it this way shows that we cannot look at marriage and divorce in terms of loopholes.

What can we get away with?

And it's still to be considered lawful. Jesus is already saying, have you thought through the design and intent of marriage? What is God's will for marriage? If you can understand that, then you can understand the nature of divorce.

So these Pharisees came to Jesus not seeking God's truth for marriage, not seeking how they might grow in faithfulness to that great institution, how better to lead God's people in it. They don't mention marriage at all.

Instead, they only speak about divorce. And Jesus' response is that divorce was never part of God's intention for marriage.

How does he do that?

He goes back to the beginning. He goes back to Genesis 2. In fact, he goes back to Genesis 1.

This is very significant too.

This is from Mark 10, verses 6 and 8. From the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. That's Genesis 1 .27. From the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. And now he quotes 2 .24.

For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. And now he adds his sort of exclamation point on that. So then, they're no longer two, but one flesh.

Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. Notice what Jesus is doing. He's not responding from the rabbinical interpretations of the day. He doesn't say, oh, Shammai is right, Hillel is wrong, or Hillel is right, Shammai is wrong.

He's not looking at the latest statistics and government measures. Oh, if only you could see the decline in birth rate and how we have to really labor to try to restore marriage in the culture. He's not even interested in the general flow of the culture.

He's responding from God's design in creation. Jesus points to creation in Genesis 1 and 2 as the foundation, as the paradigm for what marriage is. Jesus brings them back to the beginning. Frankly, there's a lot of evangelicals that aren't willing to do this.

They want to talk about human flourishing, and they want to look at the impact of having marriage decline and the child rate decline. They tend to say things like, well, if the marriage dissolves and a child grows up in a single-parent home, if they're a girl, they're three times more likely to grow up and be pregnant out of wedlock and be in poverty.

If they're a male, they're three times more likely to go to prison. Can't we just get back on marriage so that humanity can flourish once more? Well, that's a very roundabout way of reasoning toward the significance of God's design for marriage.

But Jesus is rather just direct. God created male and female. God created marriage. What was God's design in doing that? We don't look at rates and statistics so much as we look at Scripture.

This is our authority.

We should not reason from this neutral ground as though if only we could agree that marriage is in fact a healthy thing for a happier society, and it has a better trajectory for most people. That's not a Christian way of viewing this.

Christians say, from the beginning it was not so. God created man, male and female, and for this reason a man should leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife, and those two become one flesh.

That is Jesus' response. Because here we see God's intention for marriage. Like the Pharisees, and for that matter the disciples, many are unsettled by Jesus' teaching here. The disciples, what do they go on to say?

If this is true, it's better not to marry. This is unsettling teaching. Boy, you mean absolute loyalty and commitment? Maybe it's better not to marry. It shows how flippant this view was in the culture even 2 ,000 years ago.

Well, how much more so today? So much of the cultural eclipse of Christian morality is bound up to marriage.

So much.

More specifically, the fact that Christians have not stood upon Jesus' teaching, and also not followed Jesus' teaching in marriage, in the way that they pronounce, proclaim, and live out covenant obligations as husbands and wives.

As one said, we cannot reclaim marriage unless we reclaim the clear Christian witness that our sexual desires must be ordered to their proper end. Male-female union in the context of marriage. That's why Jesus quotes 1 .27 before he quotes 2 .24.

This was God's design for male and female. And as soon as God created male and female, this mysterious picture of marriage becoming a one-flesh union becomes the foundation for how humanity is meant to flourish.

For how humanity is meant to cover the earth. We live in a time that views marriage as a social construct.

Just something that society decides to do.

And the government should defend it for any individual that so chooses it. It's just an arrangement that can and should be changed to include any and all relations. We're seeing legislation moving toward polyamory and all sorts of new variations on marriage.

Everything's up for grabs because the idea is society constructs and defines what marriage is. It's up to us. It's our arrangements for what works best for our society. And so marriage does decline and family then is deconstructed because family as an institution rests upon marriage.

And so this is how a whole civilization begins to collapse. When society systematically denies the difference between male and female in their cultural forms, in their laws, in their customs, not only do you fundamentally take away the dignity of what it means to be made in the image of God as male and female, but you also begin to legislate unreality.

It's not for no reason that we say marriage is between one man and one woman. This is marriage. Everything else is not marriage. It does not matter what the government says or what the laws sanction. Marriage is defined by God.

It's instituted by God at creation. Our culture would then look at us and say, how dare you, you irrational bigots, which is quite frankly what we are in the eyes of the culture, just for holding Genesis 2 .24, just for teaching Genesis 2 .24 as Jesus taught Genesis 2 .24.

How out of touch we are, how irrational, how unloving, how cruel, how mean-spirited happens when the culture of the land dictates the law of the land in such a way that it accelerates the dissolution of marriage because it denies the distinction between male and female.

And therefore, because marriage declines, the family is destroyed. What happens when the law no longer recognizes the fact that male and female are meant to complement each other and meant to come into union as one flesh and become mother and father?

This is the original intention and design of God at creation. We live in a fallen world, in a broken world, and this ideal, this intent is not always realized. We live in a world with singleness and widowhood, with miscarriage and infertility.

And all of this, of course, we grant, but we're trying to look at what God designed, His intention for men and women from the beginning. So I ask the question, what happens when this takes place in our culture, in our laws, when we deny the difference between male and female and therefore dissolve the impetus for marriage and therefore destroy the family?

What happens? This is partly what happens. The family soon becomes the creation of the state. The state says, we define what marriage is and who can rightly be married. And therefore, we'll define who can have children under what circumstances.

Not only does the state then define what marriage is, the state defines what a family is. Therefore, children become, in a circumstance, property of the state. That's taking place around us. We deny the difference between male and female.

We deny this mystery of a one-flesh union that's given to us by God. And instead of viewing children as a gift, the state says, well, children are a right. We'll legally grant them to man and man couples or woman and woman couples.

You see, all of this comes from a fundamental denial of what God has created from the very beginning. So what do we say to the charge that marriage is merely a social construction? Defined by our will, not by God's institution.

This is what we should say to that. From the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And the two shall become one flesh.

So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh. That's the answer. The answer is right there in Genesis 2. Look at how Paul uses Genesis 2 as we take a step further. We come to Paul's letter in a very different setting.

Paul and the Great Mystery of Christ and the Church

Not a Jewish setting, but predominantly a Gentile setting. Not in a place where Jesus is being tested, but where we have people gathering who believe in Jesus. And they want to follow Jesus. But, of course, there's difficulty in following Jesus.

There's relational difficulty in following Jesus. And Paul is giving instructions to these believers about what their marriages are to look like now that they're following Christ. And this passage is oh so familiar to us.

But I hope that we can look at it for its boldness. Look at it as though you've never heard it or read it or heard Joel Beekie preach on it before. Ephesians 5, 22 and following. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

For the husband is head of the wife. As also Christ is head of the church.

And he is the savior of the body.

Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives. Just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. That he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word.

That he might present her to himself a glorious church. Not having a spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Here's this beautiful sort of the veil of the mystery being pulled apart by Paul.

Notice at the very beginning here we have this just as dynamic. Just as the church is to Christ, just as Christ is to the church. Here's this moral sort of tapestry to marriage that exists as a parallel between the church and the marriage relationship.

Paul continues. We're members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

Well, that's very interesting language. Where's that coming from?

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

What's that? That's Genesis 2 .24. This is a great mystery.

But I speak concerning Christ and the church. What does Paul say about Genesis 2 .24? He says Genesis 2 .24 is a great mystery, but it's actually about Christ and his church. Does that mean that it has no bearing then on the husbands and wives of the church of Ephesus?

Does it mean that there's really no fair application to be made to the husbands and wives here in Berry, Massachusetts?

No, of course not.

Paul himself is using this to apply and deal with the marriage relationship in the church. But what he's saying is, in a mysterious way, this verse is actually not just about marriage as a social institution ordained by God.

This is about Jesus Christ and the church that he gave himself for. And that's why verse 23 begins with Adam really saying, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. Christ looks at the church and he says, this is my body.

This is my flesh. I'm the head of the church, the head of my body. There's this mysterious way that the church has become united, has become one with Christ. And then he quotes Genesis 2 .24. The way Paul is quoting it is very deep.

He's basically saying, God does not pattern the union of Christ after human marriages. As though he's saying, well, we're really close to Christ. We're kind of one in Him. What's a good analogy for it?

Oh, it's kind of like a marriage. It's kind of like a marriage. That's not what Paul's doing. He's saying every marriage has always been about Christ and His church.

This is a great mystery.

But the whole reason that God created humanity as male and female and instituted the fact that they would become married, and in the context of marriage there would be a consummation by which they would become one flesh.

They would become united.

Leaving the mother and the father, being joined as one, that this was always about Jesus Christ and His people, His bride.

Always, from the very beginning.

What we see in Scripture, as it's underlined by Jesus and also here by Paul, is that God designed marriage to be the union of one man and one woman. What Paul is enlarging is this great mystery that the one man is the last Adam, and the one woman is His bride.

The same bride that we open the service with in Psalm 45. The daughter who's to forsake her home and not look back and come to the glorious One.

Come to the bridegroom.

And there's this one flesh union in this mysterious way. What was separate becomes one, a single entity. And an entity that demands allegiance over every other relation. Leave the father, leave the mother.

Even over your own individual rights. That's how Paul develops it in 1 Corinthians 7. Now you as a husband no longer have authority over your body.

Your wife does.

And the wife no longer has authority over her body, but the husband does. Now there's this amazing surrender over to the other. Of course, a man and a woman compliment each other physically, but this goes beyond just the design of God and physical creation.

This is a theological mystery. This is a redemptive projection. When you're married, you become one flesh. And that's why the Bible can say,.

He who loves his wife loves himself. Because he's one flesh.

Every marriage, however imperfectly followed, is patterned after the mystery of Christ and His bride. And this is where the gospel mystery is unveiled. Earlier in Ephesians 5, just before this in the same chapter, Paul says, this you know, no fornicator, no unclean person, no covetous man who's an idolater has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Let no one deceive you with empty words. Because of these things, the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore, do not be partakers with them. For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.

Paul's saying, no unclean person will inherit the kingdom of Christ. But then he says, you were once darkness. They were once darkness. They didn't just have unclean tendencies. They were uncleanness.

And Paul's saying, no unclean person enters into the kingdom of Christ. No unclean person has an inheritance in Christ. And Paul's not saying, so go clean yourself up, try really hard.

What does he say?

He says, Christ loved you when you were unlovable. He chose you to be a bride, holy. He devoted Himself completely to you. And when it cost Him everything, He gave everything. And He did that so that He could cleanse you.

You were once darkness, now you're light. You were once unclean and cut off. Now you're cleansed and brought near.

Your sins have been purged. And He rejoices in you. He delights in you.

He's preparing a place. He's washing, scrubbing, preparing you for the day that you'll be arrayed glorious. He's anticipating the day that the oneness will be fully consummated. Now you see it in part, but then you'll see it fully.

When you see Him, you'll be like Him.

This is all flowing out of what we saw in Romans 5 a couple weeks ago. Paul's one flesh union. It's all about Christ as the second Adam. Adam we fell into sin, but through the one man's obedience, many are made righteous.

Romans 5 is dealing with Adam as the one who brought the curse of sin into the world. But then Christ, the last Adam, He brings redemption to that curse.

And why does He do that?

He does it so that He might present to Himself a glorious church. Not having a spot or a wrinkle or any such thing. But that she should be holy and without blemish. Marriage is this mysterious picture of the gospel because it was the whole plan of God's redemption from the very beginning.

Marriage was instituted first, and then Adam and Eve fall into sin. And then, in a certain sense, redemption begins.

But Paul's saying this is a great mystery.

The fact that there is marriage. The fact that there is male and female has always been about Christ relating to His bride. A bride that was chosen, that was appointed in eternity. And when she was chosen, she was chosen to be glorious.

To be full of light.

To be pure.

To be radiant. To be arrayed in splendor.

He chose her to be that way.

And when she was defiled by the fall, in the fullness of time, He came. And as the last Adam, He entered into that deep sleep of death. And from His bloody, torn side, God created a bride.

A bride.

And that's the church.

Paul's saying this is a great mystery.

He gave Himself for her.

Jesus' whole ministry encapsulates this. From the very beginning, we see that this was the intention and plan of God.

Where was Jesus' first miracle?

You can pronounce this out to me, a little Bible trivia.

Where was Jesus' first miracle?

Cana. It was at a wedding.

That's very significant.

Jesus begins the demonstration of His power as the Messiah at a wedding. And you know the story how the feast is sort of going downhill. And the good wine is running out. And the host is very concerned.

He doesn't want to lose that social status. He doesn't want to dishonor the guest. And certainly then bring shame upon the groom and the bride. And so Jesus is there and His mother compels Him.

Surely you can do something.

And so He orders these great stone jars that were used for ritual cleansing. He orders them to be filled to the top with water. And as you know, He changes the water to wine.

We read when, this is John 2.

When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine and did not know where it came from. But the servants who had drawn the water knew. The master of the feast called the bridegroom. And he said to him, Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine.

And when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You've kept the good wine until now. This beginning of signs, John writes, Jesus did in Cana of Galilee and manifested His glory. As far as miracles go, we might think of giving someone who's blind sight, making someone who's paralyzed walk, cleansing a leper so that their skin is perfectly healthy and functioning, casting out someone who's been demon possessed and tortured in a cave, stilling storms and making the sea as smooth as glass, transfiguring on the mount and being as radiant as the sun.

These are the kinds of things that we would expect to be displaying the glory of the Son of God. But changing water into wine, that's impressive, but couldn't we find that on YouTube? Couldn't we find David Blaine or some street magician doing something eerily similar?

How is this so glorious? Why is this preserved?

It's preserved because of Genesis 2 .24.

And the great mystery of the Gospel.

Jesus doesn't go around doing occasional tricks and stunts hoping to gain a following. We saw that in Mark, right? He's actually repelling a following. He only did what was given for Him to do by the Father.

I'm sure Mary could be very persuasive, but it wasn't because Mary was asking, or Mary was persuasive that Jesus relented and decided to show His power. It was because the Father had given it to Him. So the opening revelation of the divinity of Christ is at a wedding where He takes water and makes it the greatest wine.

And there we understand why this is recorded and why this is the beginning of Jesus' ministry. It's because we're getting a glimpse of who Jesus is.

And what He's come to do.

We get a glimpse of the last Adam as the perfect bridegroom. We get a glimpse of the Beloved One, of Song of Solomon,.

Of the groom of Psalm 45.

Here we get this picture of the husband to Israel, the head of the church, the Savior of the body. Here we get a glimpse of Jesus saying, my ministry is going to lead to a marriage supper unlike any other, to a consummation that was prepared for from eternity.

An infinitely greater feast at an infinitely greater wedding. And the same Gospel writer John, when he comes to the end of the Bible, when he comes to Revelation,.

We read about this, don't we?

In Revelation 19, beginning in verse 6,.